I can show you the world.
Today we hear from an Egyptian Princess.
Jasmin from Aladdin!
Wow, Jasmine looks super mad.
Ok, all kidding aside today I am going to be answering a question from “The Egyptian Princess,” a woman who wonders if her mistakes after the breakup have ruined her chance for success with her ex.
- She recently broke up with her boyfriend
- She broke the no contact rule and spoke to him 3 days into the breakup
- Told him that she missed him
Hmm… I will answer this really quickly.
No, “The Egyptian Princess” your chances aren’t over completely. Just because you made a few mistakes here and there doesn’t mean that you can’t get him back in the future.
Here is a quick recap of what I talk about in this episode,
What I Talk About In This Episode
- The seven most common mistakes women make after a breakup
- My new website redesign (comment below and tell me what you think)
- Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO (Version 2.0)
Important Links Mentioned In This Episode
- Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO (Version 2.0)
- Common Mistakes Women Make After A Breakup
- Friends With Benefits Episode
- What To Do If You’ve Been Blocked
The Seven Deadly Sins
Alright, so there are seven deadly sins that I cover in this particular episode.
What I would like to do now is give a brief synopsis of each one.
Let’s get started.
Sin 1- GNAT
GNAT- Going Nuts At Texting
Basically women commit this when they text their ex boyfriend like crazy after a breakup. It is perceived as extremely needy if it happens too much.
Sin 2- Begging
This one isn’t so hard to understand.
If you sit there and beg for your ex boyfriend back after the breakup he isn’t going to be drawn to you as much. Remember, begging is not what you have to do to seduce a man. In fact, seducing requires you to do the opposite of begging.
Sin 3- Telling Him You Miss Him, Love Him, Etc
This is almost a mistake because its like a weird form of begging.
By saying this to your ex you are basically saying that you need him. It’s not a great idea to do this because men won’t chase a woman who chases them. They chase the woman who doesn’t chase them.
Sin 4- Breaking The No Contact Rule
This is a common sin.
It’s a mistake because every time the no contact rule is broken it slowly but surely loses it’s effectiveness. Not to mention you can’t stay disciplined.
Sin 5- Anger & Fights
Don’t get into a fight with your ex.
Just don’t do it.
You will have to opposite effect of getting him back, trust me.
Sin 6- Grand Gestures
Listen to the episode and the story I tell…
The $500 guitar gift…
Don’t fall into that trap.
Sin 7- Sleeping With Him
I know you want him back.
I know you fantasize about him.
But don’t do it.
Welcome to Episode 31 of the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Podcast. It’s been a little while since I’ve done this. I’ve been extremely busy lately. We just went live with the new website design at Ex-Boyfriend Recovery. So far, the feedback has been amazing. It’s been quite incredible, to be honest. I would like to hear more of your feedback.
We tried to make the website more female friendly. I’m a guy, so female friendly is not my biggest strong suit. I hired someone to redesign the website. We made sure to put a lot of pictures in there. We made sure to format things a certain way.
The only criticism that I’ve gotten is, on the sidebar, there used to be a step-by-step thing where you could see all the posts. That’s gone away. Now it just has the most recent posts and the most popular posts. Personally, I love the new design.
I would love to hear your feedback on it in the comments section of the show notes for this episode. All you have to do is go to www.ExBoyfriendRecovery.com/episode31. Feel free to tell me what you think about the new website design.
I know it’s been a long time since I’ve recorded one of these. I’ve been so busy lately. I apologize. I’m definitely going to be on my game this week. In fact, I spent $20 to download this new app. It’s a planner app, so that I can plan out and structure my days and get this done.
I think I made an error by not recording these podcast episodes for the last week. I’d like to rectify that error. Again, feel free to comment on the show notes of this episode and tell me what you think about the new website redesign.
Let’s get down to business. Today we’re going to hear from a woman named The Egyptian Princess. It’s an interesting name. I was tempted to call her Jasmine from Aladdin. Let’s hear from The Egyptian Princess:
“Hey, Chris. I recently broke up with my boyfriend about five days ago. Unfortunately, I gave in and spoke to him three days into the breakup. I called him and he didn’t answer. Then, a few hours later, I texted him that I’ve been thinking about him, and that I hope he’s doing well with everything. He has not responded to me.
With everything that I’m reading on your website, I’m curious if I screwed up my chances of getting him back, having him miss me or look at me in a different way. Thanks for your help.”
Thanks for leaving a voicemail for me. You asked an amazing question. Today I’m going to talk about the most common mistakes that women make after a breakup. I’m going to title this episode, the seven deadly sins that women make after a breakup. There are certain things that women can do after a breakup that will lower their chances.
For your situation, Egyptian Princess, it’s so early after a breakup, I don’t think you lowered your chances that much. Maybe a tiny, little bit by making mistakes here and there but nothing substantial. Don’t freak out. Just stick to the basics. Read my website, Ex-Boyfriend Recovery.
Pick up the book, Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Pro. I just released a new version. It’s version 2.0 of the book. The original version was only 93 pages. This thing is 270. I really beefed it up. I’m trying to appeal to all people who are trying to get their exes back in all sorts of situations, like long distance, if he has a girlfriend, if you cheated on him and general breakups. I’m trying to appeal to all of the demographics.
Let’s get down to business. Here is a recap of your situation. You recently broke up five days ago. You spoke to him three days into the breakup. You told him you missed him. You were a little needy. You were wondering if your chances are over. No, they’re not over at all. Maybe you lowered them a little bit by doing those things but it really has to be excessive for you to substantially lower your chances.
That’s what I’d like to talk about today. We’re going to do something really unique. There’s not going to be a specific game plan. Rather, I’m going to be covering the seven deadly sins that women make after a breakup to lower their chances. In rare cases, I have seen women who commit all seven of these deadly sins and were still able to get back with their ex-boyfriends.
It’s not necessarily a relationship death sentence. In my opinion, if you commit four or five of these sins, your chances of getting your ex back will be significantly lower. I’m going to explain why on a case-by-case basis.
We’ll start with sin number one, becoming a gnat. This is my own creation. It stands for “Going Nuts at Texting.” Imagine that your ex-boyfriend has just broken up with you and you blow his phone up with 50 text messages. That’s a little needy and desperate. It’s not attractive to a man. Women often do this when they’re in a highly emotional state, especially after a breakup. That’s when they are in that highly emotional state. Going nuts at texting is the equivalent of having a swarm of gnats flying around your head.
No matter how many times you swat at them, they continue to fly around. There’s nothing you can do to get rid of them. It’s extremely annoying. I have had the “pleasure” of meeting a few gnats in my life. They are extremely annoying. They are not attractive. Men will not find them attractive at all. Deadly sin number one is becoming a text, call or in-person gnat to your ex-boyfriend.
Number two is begging. Begging for your ex-boyfriend back is not the same as attracting or seducing him. When you’re trying to get your ex-boyfriend back, you want to get him back from a position of strength. Begging for him back is a position of weakness. It gives him all the power. Relationships aren’t supposed to be a power struggle, even though pretty much all of them are. It’s supposed to be equal.
If you’re begging for him back, he’s going to think, “Wow, she really wants me. I’m better than her.” Men aren’t going to chase after a woman if they think they’re better than her. They’re going to chase after a woman who they think is better than them. Begging is another mistake that I see a lot of women make after a breakup.
Number three is telling him you miss him. Egyptian Princess, you did this. This is anything along the lines of telling him you miss him or love him that makes him think that he’s winning the battle. Going through a breakup is almost like a chess match. The win for a man is if he can get you to beg for him back or tell him that you miss him or love him.
During a relationship, you want to hear these things. During and after a breakup, men crave them so much from women. They’re not going to chase after someone who is chasing after them. They’re going to chase after someone who is not chasing after them. A woman who tells him that she misses him is making a mistake. In his mind, he’s going to think, “I bet she misses me.”
I remember the very first breakup I went through. Right after the breakup, I was thinking, “I’m not going to be the one to text her first. I’m not going to do anything. I’m going to wait until she tells me that she misses me.” Sure enough, three days later, bam. “I miss you.” I felt like I won. I was not going to chase after her at all. That’s because she begged for me back. She told me that she missed me.
That’s a huge mistake that I see a lot of women make. Again, you want a man to chase after you. If you’re chasing after him, the dynamic is completely wrong. That is deadly sin number three.
Number four is breaking the no contact rule. It seems that you have done this, Egyptian Princess. This is a mistake, probably the most frequent mistake that I see made. So many women break the no contact rule because it’s such a challenging thing to finish. It’s easy to understand on a logical level. You ignore this person for 30 days.
Thinking it and actually doing it are two completely separate things. Putting it into action is a lot harder than a lot of women realize. When they’re doing the no contact rule and their ex-boyfriend is texting them saying, “Hey, where are you? Are you okay? I miss you,” you’re supposed to ignore him. Social etiquette tells us that we have to check in with someone when we’re going somewhere.
If you’re going to completely disappear from this person’s life, shouldn’t they get a warning? No, they don’t. That’s not how the no contact rule works. Everything you ever learned about social etiquette and relationships, especially when your ex-boyfriend continues to chase after you and exhibits behavior that you want him to exhibit, it’s hard not to break the no contact rule.
But you have to stay strong. The no contact rule loses its effectiveness if it is broken. The more times that it’s broken, the less effective it becomes. That’s deadly sin number four that I see women make.
Number five is anger. It’s sort of like Star Wars. Anger leads to the Dark Side. It’s the same thing here. After a breakup, you do not want to get angry or get into a fight with your ex-boyfriend. The whole reason that Ex-Boyfriend Recovery exists is to help women recover from breakups and recover their relationships.
You cannot recover your relationship if you’re in the middle of a massive argument with your ex-boyfriend. It’s just not going to work. That’s one of the reasons why the no contact rule is so effective. It removes you from the situation. It allows you to think logically instead of emotionally. We all know that when emotions run high, logic runs low. Number five is anger. You do not want to get into a fight with your ex-boyfriend at all.
Number six is grand gestures. A good friend of mine went through a breakup with her ex-boyfriend a long time ago. She thought it would be a great idea to win his love back by buying him a $500 guitar. Okay, I can understand her logic behind that.
She figured that he’d see the guitar. It’s his favorite guitar. She’s the one that got it for him. He’ll come running back into her arms. He’ll thank her. He’ll probably make love to her all night. Well, it did not work that way at all. He took the guitar from her. He was happy about it. He said a few nice things to her and he never talked to her again.
Grand gestures after a breakup do not work. Grand gestures during a relationship work amazing. But grand gestures when you’re not dating the person do not work, so do not do them. This is not Hollywood. Besides, grand gestures are supposed to be from men to women, not from women to men. Hollywood lies to you. Disney has lied to you.
Grand gestures are not going to work. In the cases when they do work, it’s very rare. In my opinion, you should not try them at all. Don’t get caught in this trap where you think, “I need to do some grand gesture to win him back. I’ll buy him this $500 guitar and he’ll come back to me.” No. You do not want to buy his love. A man who can be bought is a man not worth having at all. Do not buy his love with a grand gesture. Win him back on your own hard work.
Let’s say it’s the off chance that your grand gesture works. You bought him this guitar and he came back to you. In the back of your mind, you’re always going to wonder if he really just came back to you because you bought that for him or if he came back because he really loved you.
I would rather be in a relationship with someone where I knew for a fact that they cared for me as much as I cared for them, not because I bought them a bunch of stuff. The same principle applies here. That was number six.
I saved the best for last. Number seven is a common one that I see. It’s probably the single biggest mistake a woman can make after a breakup. It is sleeping with your ex. You do not want to sleep with your ex-boyfriend. That will lead him to think he can get into a friends with benefits situation. I have created a podcast episode on friends with benefits and how to get out of that situation. In that episode, I talk a lot about the pitfalls and mistakes and why becoming friends with benefits and sleeping with your ex-boyfriend is such a big mistake. I’ll link to that episode in the show notes of this episode. You can go to www.ExBoyfriendRecovery.com/episode31.
In addition to this, I’ll link to version 2.0 of the ebook if you’re interested. A long time ago, I wrote a fairly long article that talks a lot about these cardinal sins. In all, I highlight 11 or 12 mistakes that women make after a breakup and how to fix them. It has the quick fixes that you can do to get back on track and overcome them. I’m going to link to that in the show notes of this episode. I think that’s a very helpful article for you.
That’s going to do it for this episode. The Egyptian Princess didn’t give me a whole lot of material to go off of. I tried to do the best with what I had. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Please check out the new website design. Give me your feedback in the comments of this episode. Thanks for listening.
I really appreciate all of you who take the time to listen to this podcast. It really means a lot. I’m going to actively work to make sure I do a better job of recording these and making this more of a daily podcast. I can’t guarantee that I’ll do it all the time. Sometimes things happen in my life that require me to cut something out of my schedule. Sometimes the podcast has to go. This week, I should have one out every single day. If I don’t, feel free to yell at me in the comments of this episode.
You can find all those incredible links and a summary of the seven deadly sins that women can make after a breakup in the show notes of this episode at www.ExBoyfriendRecovery.com/episode31. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I’ll see you tomorrow.