One of the really amazing things about our Private Support Group is the fact that women are always talking about different strategies that I don’t really cover in all that much detail here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

Now, one of the most popular strategies on the group right now is “the law of attraction” or “LOA” for short.

I remember the first time that someone ever told me about this I just rolled my eyes and thought,

There is no way that will ever work. That’s stupid….

It’s a sentiment that I am sure a lot of people have when they hear about it for the first time.

Nevertheless, I gave it a try and really tried to open myself up to it and I have to say that it’s pretty incredible what this mindset shift can accomplish.

So, I decided to take things a step further by doing an interview with one of the worlds most popular law of attraction experts, Arielle Ford.

I really wanted to get a sense of how this stuff could apply to getting an ex back since that is what I think most people here are gunning for.

Watch our interview below,

Now, if you are interested in learning more about Arielle and her course I highly recommend you check out her website.

Interview Transcript

  • Alright, I want to take a moment to welcome Arielle Ford, who’s a really big deal in the relationship space. She’s been featured all over. She’s written multiple books about how to find your soul mate. Welcome to the show Arielle!

  • Thank you! How are you?

  • I’m doing great! So, why don’t you just take a minute and explain a little bit about what you do? I guess we can just take it organically from there.

  • Sure. Well, I was a first time bride at the age of 44 and it all came about when I decided that I had pretty much forgotten to get married and I wanted to manifest a soul mate and I have this idea that I have been working with the law of attraction at that point for about 12 years and I was very successful with it. I had built a very big business back in those days. I was a book publicist and my clients were Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer–

  • Big deals. Very big people, yeah.

  • –Marianne Williamson, Neale Donald Walsch, Louise Hay, Don Miguel Ruiz, pretty much everybody!

  • Now, you’re just showing off!

  • Just showing off! Yeah! But I had done that usually in the law of attraction. I had built this huge career and I had this thought, “Well, I wonder if I can take the same principles, the same process as in prayers and ritual that I used to create this amazing business. Would it work on my love life?” And I didn’t know it was a big experiment but it turned out that it did work extraordinary well.

    It didn’t even take that long and as I said, I got married at the age of 44. And what quickly happened is that I became like the poster child for single women over 40. They all started asking me.

    “Hey, I want Brian. How do I get a Brian?”

    And I would share my process with them and then it would work for them and eventually it became a book and then the book was translated into 21 languages in 40 countries around the world and the soulmate secret process has now worked for tens of thousands of men and women all over the world. So, I know this stuff works and it’s not hard but what it does require is that you commit to putting in a little time and energy and intention and attention onto your love life and if you’re willing to do that, I can totally show you how to do it.

  • Yeah, you know it’s really interesting that you brought up the law of attraction because immediately–so, when I started looking into your background, this is something that really stuck out to me because I remember when I met my wife back when we were dating, we were on the phone having a conversation, I remember just asking a simple question. I was like,

    “Hey, what are you up to?” And she said, “Oh, I’m watching The Secret.” and I’m like, “What’s that?” And so, she was explaining it all to me and I was like, “Oh, that sounds kind of dumb.”

    Like who would ever believe that? So, it happened to be on Netflix at that time and I watched it and I was just blown away by it. I actually tried out some of the-more than visualization techniques and found that they are oddly very effective. So, I kind of wanted to dive into that and maybe talk a little bit about–

  • Sure, let’s do that and what I want to say is that, while the secret gave some of the tools on how to manifest with the law of attraction, they left out what I call the secret sauce and you just mentioned it. So, one of the pieces of what they taught was visualization but visualization only happens in your head. It happens in your brain and true really big, giant manifestation happens from your heart. So, I have created a technique that I call, “A Feelingization” and it’s a guided meditation where I take you from your head to your heart, put you into a state of love and gratitude and then we drop in your desires of what you want to have manifest and it’s much more powerful and it works much faster and better than just pretty pictures inside your head.

    Because what happens is, when you put a pretty picture inside your head, let’s just make something up. Let’s say you want a convertible, bright blue BMW car and you can see yourself driving down I-95 in this beautiful car but your emotional being says to you, “I don’t have the money. I don’t deserve it. I don’t believe I’ll ever get it.” which cancels out all the pretty pictures. So, a feelingization which is the secret sauce to the soul mate secret is what will get you there and I offer this feelingizations for free on my website. So, if anybody goes to soulmatesecret.com, there’s a little tab called free stuff and they can get them there.

  • Yeah, I’ve actually found the tab. So, what I’ll do and make sure that I’ll link to it in the show notes but so, the feelingization–I imagine you said multiple people have tried your techniques and it’s worked for them but let’s switch gears and talk about some of the testimonials you’ve gotten using the law of attraction. Specifically this feeling visualization thing. I just want to, I guess, give people some hope, realize that they’re not alone. This actually works.

  • Oh, it completely works. So, the law of attraction states we draw to us to us the people, places and experiences that match our state of being. So, if you’re state of being is “I”m beautiful. I’m lucky in love. I’m a loving, kind person. I’m deserving of love. I’m surrounded by love.” Your daily experience for the most part is going to be just that. If your experience is, “I’m unlucky in love. I’m undeserving of love. Nobody loves me. I’m the world’s biggest loser when it comes to love. I’m too old. I’m too fat. I’m too damaged. All the good ones are taken.” If that’s the frequency which you’re vibrating, that too will be the experience that you have.

    So, the most important part of the law of attraction, well there’s several, the first most important part is that you have clarity. That you know precisely what it is you want to manifest and how you’re going to feel having that desire met-number 1 most important thing. The number 2 thins, is getting to a place where you truly believe and feel in every cell of your body that what you’ve asked is already yours. So, the law of attraction is not for children and it’s not for whimps and wussies and people who  are victims because it requires that you pull in your big girl pants and your big boy pants and you act as an emotional mature adult and you manage, you manage your thoughts and feelings and beliefs and this is the mistake  a lot of people make.

    Because A) they believe every thought that they have, you know the thought is, “Oh it’s too late for me.” And then they believe it and it’s not true, alright or they have feelings, “Oh, I was so hurt before. I’m only going to get hurt again.” As opposed to, “Ok, yes, I was hurt. We’ll all human. Everybody’s been dumped and hurt. Ok, it’s not personal to you. Now, how can I heal myself?” Now, if they’re smart, they’re hanging out with you Chris and learning how to heal themselves.

  • Very, very smart right. Me and Arielle, we are the top–no, just kidding!

  • Well, no and this is why God invented coaches and therapists because if we have a pattern and we only can attach love to pain and we keep repeating the pattern. Well, you know that you can’t fix it yourself. Get some help. I always use this analogy, “I’m the most untechnical person on the planet.” So, if my computer breaks down, I don’t go get a screw driver and try to fix it myself. I call Steve, my tech guy because he’s a pro. So, if you’ve had a broken heart over and over again, you’ve got a pattern.

    Go get Chris, go get a shrink, get some help before you put your attention on, “Well, I need a new soul mate.” Because what tends to happen with patters is they repeat themselves. And this isn’t to blame anybody. All of us human beings have faults and wounds and stuff that needs to be healed and there’s no faster place to get healed than in a relationship because the person standing in front of you, part of their job is to reflect back to you all the places in what you need healing.

  • So, let’s say hypothetically, I’m listening to this podcast and I’m obviously having–so, you know part of the thing I’m getting with the visualization and the law of attraction is you have to feel good, you have to feel the feelings that you want to be feeling in the future potentially. Well, obviously someone who’s going through a break up is not feeling those feelings.

  • No, but you can. Ok, so–

  • Which is kind of what I’m gearing towards. How could someone feel that?

  • Let’s just talk about gratitude ok? So, we all have things that we’re grateful for. Maybe it’s something that happened today or something that happened 20 years ago. So, in this feelingazations, and like I said, they’re for free in my website. You can go do them. What we do, is we take you into your heart and we have your re-experience a feeling of gratitude ok? So, we’re not talking about the break up. Maybe you’re just grateful that you have this wonderful career. That you know, you have enough money to pay your rent and feed your kids and you just decide, for this moments, with my eyes closed, with my attention on my heart, I’m going to re-experience feelings of gratitude.

    So, we first get ourselves into a state of gratitude and then we come of something we’re appreciative for. What do I appreciate? And then I have you remember time when you felt love. Not necessarily romantic love but when you had some experience of love. Maybe it was a hug from a child or maybe your dog crawled into your lap and you looked into each other’s eyes. Pick a moment of love and then re-experience in every cell of your body that moment of love and then when you’re there, when you’re filling your own heart with gratitude and appreciation of love, from there for a moment, you can drop in the desire, “Oh, I’m so grateful. Think God has another soul mate for me.” And you don’t need to know where they are or who they are. You can just be in the moment of possibility. .

  • I love it and I feel like as you were talking, I was trying to visualize it myself. I was just so drawn it. So, it’s something that really, really works and I think the other interesting application is you can almost apply it to any aspect of your life as well. So, you can cultivate no just the relationship aspect of your life but maybe your health or if you–

  • You can do it with money especially when you’re having money issues. So, it’s really easy to go into lack, on missing, “There’s not enough money. I don’t have enough money. Oh my god, what’s going to happen?” And you’re in the future projecting,oh my god, oh my god. As opposed to, if you want to drop into your heart and say, “In this moment, I have everything that I need. I have fresh air to breathe. I have clean water to drink. There are people, family and friends who love me. I have a chair to sit to. I have a computer. I have a cellphone. In this moment, I have everything that I need.”

    And if you can put yourself into that feeling of the abundance of what you have in this moment, from there you can drop into the desire. “Oh, wouldn’t be it be lovely, if some expected money came my way? ” or, “I’m so abundant that I know that the money always comes.” Because what happens is, we want to know where it’s coming from but it doesn’t matter where it’s coming from. What matters is that we’re open and receptive and in a knowing space that “Yes, I am already abundant and more abundance is mine.” Now, this actually ties in with the proper way to pray.

    So, many of us in our various religions are taught to pray as a form you know, asking God, “Give me this and give me that. I need this and I need that.” But in fact the prayer that works the best is to say, “Dear God, I am so grateful for all the gifts that you give me everyday. I am so grateful that I had breakfast this morning. I am so grateful that my parents are still alive to love me.” Whatever it is. So, when you’re coming from gratitude, you can get more of that as opposed, “I don’t know what I’m going to do if you don’t send me a new job.”

  • Wow! That’s such a mind blowing technique, I guess. I’ve never even thought about it that way and it’s so true. People are always asking especially when you’re doing a prayer or something. They are asking for things and often times when you ask from something, especially with the law of attraction, it doesn’t necessarily happen unless you can get–

  • And it doesn’t happen because you have this belief that it’s not going to happen anyway. So, you’re just kind of like, “Well, if we can have a miracle of a burning bush and you prove it to me, God prove it to me, then I’ll be fortunate.” As opposed to–you know when somebody’s very sick, “Oh dear God, I hope there’s a cure for them.” As opposed to, “I’m so grateful that their soul and their spirit is wholly intact and that it’s in their highest and best good to recover their physical health, may it be so.” As opposed of us trying to know what it’s their best interest but being grateful for what so, which is, even though the physical body maybe deteriorating, the soul is always whole and then being grateful for knowing and trusting that what is in their best good is occurring.

  • Now, the other question I had, let’s say I’m listening and I’m sold on this idea of the law of attraction and I’m sold on the visualization, how many times a day, let’s say, should you visualize? Is there a set a number or is it unique to the situation?

  • Well, so, there’s a paradox about the law of attraction. And the paradox, the word action in in attraction. And we want to have clarity about what it is we’re seeking to have happened and we want to be very intentional about it but at the same time, we must be trusting and surrendered and live in the knowingness. Now, this is the hard part, the knowingness that what we’ve asked for is already ours because as long as you have that it’s missing, the only thing it can continue to do is be missing.

    So, I’ll explain this on another level. In quantum physics, they have proved something that goes by several names. Some call it The Unified Field, some call it The Divine Matrix, but in this unified field, there is no time. And this what Einstein talked about, that time; the past, the present and the future are all happening at once. So, there’s no past, there’s no future, there is just now. And in this now moment we are all connected to each other and to everything.

    On some unseen level, you and I, right now we’re connected by Skype but on the molecular level, on the unseen plane, we are all part of God, we are all part of the universe. We are the same oneness. So, knowing that, you are already connected to your soul mate and you can begin the relationship right now by having a somewhat conversation with them in your head. So, you don’t their name, you don’t know what day and time you’re going to meet them on the physical 3D world but from the heart level, on unseen plane where we’re all connected you can begin the conversation. This is what I like to call, “Love Before First Sight”.

  • Yeah, I like that too. I feel like so many people are geared towards you know, “I have to see it to believe it.” As opposed to thinking, “I already have it, it’s just isn’t here yet.”

  • Right and this is just a lack of education and a lack of awareness. So, the hard core black and white people, I’ll believe it when I see it, well, they’re going to have a harder time. The people who are more connected on a heart level, on a spiritual level, that have some trust that God or the universe or whatever you call it, your higher power, when you believe that that power has your back and you have trust and faith, life gets much easier. Now, it may say, “When I look back on my life all I see is disaster. All I see is trouble.”

    Because we find what we’re looking for. It’s not true that your entire past is a disaster. It’s what you choose to focus on. You know, all of us had had love in our life. It may not have been what we wanted or what we hoped for in the future but there have been people that do love us and have loved us and there are people who have hurt us deeply and betrayed and that is also true but as I said earlier, it’s not a personal experience. It’s a part of the human experience.

    We’ve all been deeply wounded. The difference is who of us is going to say, “Ok, yes, I was hurt. Yes, I may never get over this hurt and yes, I’m willing to say, yes to love again. I’m willing to step forward and take baby steps because I am a loving being, because I am deserving of love and because there’s more than enough in this world for everybody, even me.”

  • And to your point about how sometimes when people are looking back at their experience and they’re seeing the only the bad and how there’s also the good with the bad, it reminds of that rule, The Peak-End Rule, where when someone looks back at the relationship, they remember it from the peak of the relationship:the most exciting moment, and the end of the relationship. They forget all of the things that led up to the peak and how all of it fell down. So, it’s easy for maybe our brains to process things in a quick manner like that. As opposed to–

  • Which is why I recommend getting out of your head and into your heart because the statistic is something like we have between 60-90 thousand thoughts everyday and 90% of them are the same thoughts that we had yesterday and it doesn’t mean any of them are true. We just latch onto them. We go into a feedback loop on, “Oh my god.” and we’re terrorizing ourselves and women are particularly adept to this. You know, if it happened before, it’s going to happen again and what if, what if , what if?

    As opposed to, “Well, what is? What’s true for right now?” Right now, you and I are just meeting for the first time, are sharing this amazing experience with God knows, how many thousands of your fans out there, where we get to know, you know, how much you love you have. I know how much love I had and together we can exponentially increase it for everybody because we are a field of love and they are in our field, therefore they’re experiencing love.

  • I think just listening to you, you have such a positive vibe. I almost feel like, whenever I’ve looked at people who have really pushed the law of attraction, they’re just positive by nature. Is that almost a prerequisite?

  • But I didn’t start–No. My early childhood I was a very sad, lonely, introverted, socially–

  • Not anymore thought, not anymore.

  • I suffered from depression which was part family history, part–I had hypoglycemia that was un-diagnosed. So, I had all kinds of issues and when I was in my late teens, I was suicidal. I was on Tricyclic anti depressants. I was seeing psychiatrists but one day at the age of 28, I made a radical choice in my life. I decided that was no longer willing to suffer and that I was going to commit my life to studying happy people and I was going to become a happy person and what I can tell you, all these years later is that happiness is a choice. Now, it wasn’t a choice when I was severely depressed and suicidal. I did need the drugs. I did need the therapeutic treatment and I would recommend that anybody who’s severely depressed, get that kind of treatment. But when you’re on the other side of that or at least when you’re getting to neutral, happiness is a learned behavior. I know because I learned how to do it.

  • You did a great job. I mean, everything about, even the background, it’s like yellow. Everything is happy. It’s like the sun! For real!

  • And that’s another choice. I could have painted this room any color. I particularly do not like brown or beige or gray. I like vibrant colors. Why? Because I feel happier when I’m where bright, vibrant colors. You put in beige, I feel blah and sometimes, I tell women if you’re going out on a date wear red underwear. For sure, you’ll be only one knowing you’re wearing red underwear but you know that. There’s something sexy to you. That, “Oh my god! I’ve got my red undies on tonight!”

  • Guys don’t do that. If you’re listening, guys don’t do that! No, just kidding! But it’s interesting that you said that how you don’t like brown and beige. I feel for me, it’s more of a weather type thing. So, I lived in Pennsylvania for a couple of years with my wife and it was just miserable because it was snowing and cold all the time. And I grew up my entire life in Texas where it’s hot. The sun is always out. I loved going outside. Is there something to that with the law of attraction?

  • Yeah, there’s a reason why I live in San Diego because I like–I grew up in South Florida. I don’t like South Florida. It’s too humid for me and there’s other things about it that don’t work for me but San Diego–

  • Well, I live in Central Florida right now. So, it’s still a little bit more humid but not as bad as South Florida I imagine but I’ve heard the city was beautiful.

  • Yeah, everything impacts us. Our environment impacts us. So, you know, what can you do to make yourself happy? I mean let’s say you’re stuck living in a northern climate for whatever reason, the whole family’s there, whatever. You can paint your office bright yellow like I did. You can get sun lamps to make sure you don’t get seasonal affective disorder. There are things that you can strategically do but it requires awareness and really knowing, “What do I most need?” One of my friend, Marci Shimoff wrote a great book called, “Happy For No Reason”. A really wonderful book and she says the number question to ask yourself everyday is, “What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?”

  • Yeah, everything impacts us. Our environment impacts us. So, you know, what can you do to make yourself happy? I mean let’s say you’re stuck living in a northern climate for whatever reason, the whole family’s there, whatever. You can paint your office bright yellow like I did. You can get sun lamps to make sure you don’t get seasonal affective disorder. There are things that you can strategically do but it requires awareness and really knowing, “What do I most need?” One of my friend, Marci Shimoff wrote a great book called, “Happy For No Reason”. A really wonderful book and she says the number question to ask yourself everyday is, “What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?”

  • I think just, if you’re asking me personally. It would probably be to go on a walk.

  • Me too.

  • Like I feel, like I’ve been cooped up al day. I feel like just getting out and getting outside would be great. That would be the best thing. I guess it doesn’t have to be big right?

  • Oh, it doesn’t need to be big at all. In fact, one of the things I teach my students is how to be a pleasure pig. So, a pleasure pig is someone who when they make their daily to do list, the number 1 item is how I will give myself pleasure today? So, it could be anything from, well this is girl’s stuff but from getting your hair done, a manicure, a pedicure, a foot rub, taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, going out for drinks with the girls, laughing. All those things give pleasure. Eating some chocolate.

    And on the days when I don’t have a lot of time or there’s no time to go get a massage, I’ll simply turn on my playlist and I’ll listen to Andrea Bocelli saying The Prayer and I have 4 minutes of pleasure. So, the idea that everyday. Think of some small way to feed yourself pleasure and it’s really important for women to do this particularly because women are so stressed out. They’re worried about their careers and their kids and their aging parents and money and getting fat and working out. You know, time management and what happens when women are stressed are like this, is they deplate the levels of oxytocin in their brain. Oxytocin is you know is the super glue–

  • Feel good hormone

  • Super glue of love. The bonding hormone and it’s essential. So, when you become a pleasure pig, when consciously choose to add pleasure to your life everyday, all of those activities that I mentioned rebuilt oxytocin.

  • I should give this interview to my wife.

  • Yes and here’s the thing for me. So, when men get stressed out, they need to rebuild testosterone, not oxytocin.

  • Really? That’s fascinating.

  • So, the fastest way for men to rebuild testosterone, this one’s hysterical, is to chop wood.

  • Ok.

  • Working out will do it, hanging out with the guys, be sure to tell you wife if you’re really stressed out, she should you the remote control and your favorite drink and put you in a comfortable chair and let you watch sports.

  • You’re my new favorite person. I wish I’d given you the interview yesterday. The Cowboy’s were playing yesterday and it was like–I had to give it to her.

  • Watching sports is so good for marriage. You have no idea.

  • Oh I agree!

  • Because it rebuilds testosterone and while you’re doing that, send her out, give her $50 and tell her to go get a manicure and a pedicure.

  • Perfect! Oxytocin and Testosterone building at the same time. That’s how you stay in a strong relationship right there!

  • Absolutely!

  • I love it! So, a lot of people listening to this go through break ups and they’re probably—not probably. For sure they’re not in a frame of mind where they are maybe amenable to thinking positively. What are some of your best tips for them to reshape or have a paradigm shift in the way they view love because they’re really down on themselves right now?

  • You know, it’s a moment by moment thing. You really have to manage your thoughts and emotions. You know, so if you are in a really big downward spiral, set your timer on your smartphone for 3 minutes and allow yourself to be as miserable as you can possible be. Like really go negative on the self talk, “I am the world’s biggest loser. Nobody’s ever going to love me. I’ll never feel love again. I am doomed to spend the rest of my life as a cat woman. My life totally completely sucks.”

    And I promise you, if you do this with pure intention, you won’t be able to do it for 3 minutes. You’ll start to laugh because your rational brain is going to kick in because you know most of what you’re saying to yourself is not true self. But what it’s done is lets you be present to your misery and it lets the pressure off like a pressure cooker you let the steam off. And so, once you face that what appears to be reality then you can fill yourself up with loving thoughts.

    Go stand in front of a mirror. Blow yourself a kiss. Give yourself a hug. Look into your own eyes and say, “You know you’re a really, kind, generous, loving person and you really do deserve big love and I’m sorry you suffered so much pain but we’re going to get through this together and you are going to have new love once again.” And just do that everyday if you need to do it but you have to do something. Hiding under the comforter is not the place to go for love.

  • Yeah, I think a lot of the issues that I face with my audience is they become hyperobsessed with their ex. They either want him back or they stalk him. Like we were talking before we started recording about how break ups are kind of like addictions.

  • They are.

  • You found this–well, I’ll let you cite the statistics.

  • Yeah so, Dr. Helen Fisher, who’s one of the world’s leading biologists anthropologist researchers at Rutgers University, and does extensive work looking at the brain and love, has discovered that for people who have been dumped particularly, getting over that break up is harder than over coming a cocaine addiction. That’s how strong it is. And some people never fully get over it but it doesn’t mean you’ can’t have love in your life but what it absolutely means is you must stop obsessing over this person. You must unfriend them ok? You got to stop stalking them.

    You need to get realistic. They’re not coming back. Now, the other part of that, that no one ever tells you is, this doesn’t mean you have to stop loving them. So, find a little corner of your heart where you can still love them and still appreciate what was good when you were together but stop obsessing. How does one stop obsessing? There’s a woman named Dr. Pat Allen who has what she calls “The Love Detox Program”.

    And this is particularly designed for people who are in very difficult abusive relationships but it works across the board. So, when you’re going to put yourself in a love detox, first you have to inform the person you’re detoxing from, that for the next 6 weeks you’re going to be dropping out completely. That means no phone calls, no emails, no texting, no drive bys, no seeing each other person. You’re going to be–every single one of your senses will be cut off and blocked from each other for 6 weeks.

  • Yeah, it’s interesting. On the website,we kind of call that The No Contact Rule. So, you know, in the studies I’ve done–so, a lot of people ask me, “Hey what can I do to get my ex back?” And so we recommend the same thing. Even if they’re trying to get their ex back,the only difference though is we don’t inform them. It’s just cold turkey right off the bat but so far the no contact rule for 6 weeks is step 1 of the love detox. What’s next?

  • Right. Well, that’s pretty much it because at the end of 6 weeks when a new habit has emerged, you’re now more freed up. Now, it’s difficult for people who have shared kids to follow this program.

  • Yeah, exactly.

  • So, you’re best bet is to find a good friend who will handle the hand off between the kids and step in for you except in case of emergency. So, that you can do your best to do it. Now if at the end of the 6 weeks detox, what sometimes happens is that the person you’re detoxing from misses the psychic energy of being connected to you. So, they feel that you are gone and then they make an effort to get you back and this is where people get really screwed up because they don’t really want you back.

    They’re energetic vampires, they’re emotional vampires and they want to suck back into your energy. They want to reel you back in but unless they’ve had some deep counseling, chances are the behavior that happened before will happen again. So, you have to really ask yourself, “Why do I want them back?” Why would you want somebody who doesn’t want you. Why would you want somebody who doesn’t wake up in the morning totally happy to see you, devoted to you, committed to being your best friend, your partner, your lover for life, your biggest cheerleader, your safe place to land, why would you go for that when you can move on in spite of the pain, move on and then manifest a soul mate who can be all of this for the rest of your life.

  • And it’s really interesting that you brought this point up about how they’re sort of energetic vampires where they’ll try to feed off the energy. In fact, so one of the interesting things that I’ve done is, I’ve taken all these success stories of people who have actually gotten ex back with the advise that I give. I’m trying to figure out, what are they’re doing? And so, we found exactly what you just said was actually one of the most effective ways to win an ex back, assuming someone wanted to get an ex back, was doing the no contact rule or doing the 6 week detox. And we found that, 34:02 having to do too much at all, the other person starts wanting them back. So, my own research using my audience has been exactly inline with what the–I forgot who came up with the love detox?

  • Her name is Dr. Pat Allen.

  • Dr. Pat Allen, aligns with just exactly what she said.

  • Yeah because Dr. Phil has this great line that we train people how to treat us. If there was a lot of bad behavior previously with them and you didn’t set up boundaries and you didn’t communicate well and you allowed that behavior to exist, it’s kind of foolish to think that anything is really going to change. Yes, he’ll be on good behavior for the first weeks.

  • Exactly.

  • Because they miss you too but at the end of the day, you’re just, for most people, I’m sure you’ve seen some success stories but for most people you’re setting yourself up.

  • I will admit, for most people that is the case. In fact, I’ve had a few success stories where the people have gotten married and their still together and everything but most people, I’ve had multiple cases where people are on again, off again and it’s just an endless cycle. And even though Dr. Phil said it, it’s absolute right a lot of times. If you get back with the person, there’s a change, there’s an immediate change but it doesn’t last forever. Eventually he’ll fall back into old habits and those habits are just what you kind of structure your relationship around. So, that’s–and part of the problem–there’s two kind of ways of looking at it: Should you get your ex back? Should you not get your ex back? Well, one of the cons of getting your ex back is, if you do succeed, often time, it takes two people to want to change and even if you’re willing to change and the other person isn’t willing to change, it’s almost pointless.

  • That’s sort of the value of couples counseling. I’ve seen couples where there’s been massive betrayal. The husband or the wife, one of them was cheating like crazy, maybe even blatantly but when both of them say, “I’m willing to fight for this. I’m willing to give it everything I’ve got. I’m willing to be patient until you learn to trust again. I’m willing to make amends.” There’s nothing but hope in that situation but if you’re the only fighting for the relationship, that’s exhausting.

  • It’s exhausting and you never keep it up forever especially without any positive feedback from the other side.

  • And people do that because they don’t believe that there’s more love out there for them. So, they do it out of, “I’d rather have what’s old and comfortable even if it’s painful.” As opposed to, you know the two options are, “I’ll have the great rest of my life on my own filled with love and friends and adventure.” and “I’ll have a great life and I’ll manifest somebody who is really loving and kind and devoted to me.” Which is the real possibility for most people in the world. I want to tell you why it’s a real possibility because there are 7.2 billion people alive on this planet. 7.2 billion, that’s a number bigger than I can conceive of. Half of this people Chris, are single ok?

    c

  • Yeah, that’s a lot of people.

  • So, to think that you’re the only one that God has selected to never be happy and never have a partner is really a testament to the size of your ego. The truth is, there are plenty of potential mates out there for you, regardless of your age, your weight, your income level, your past history, whether or not you’re missing a leg or an arm or both. There is love for everybody and I know that because I’ve been doing this a long time and I’ve seen it happen.

  • Well, so you’re own success story too. The principles apply for your life worked and you’re just passing it on and obviously, you’ve become an expert in the field which is the perfect segway. So, Arielle Ford, why don’t you tell us a little bit about where people can find you and the special offer that you have.

  • So, there’s two things. If you go to my website soulmatesecret.com and sign up under free stuff, you can get the feelingizations and videos and other goodies there or I also, I’m offering chapters right now to my newest book called Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate. So, you can stay connected to me every  Tuesday. I send out an amazing newsletter with lots of love tips in it. And if you want to work with me, I have  a 7 week online course, that will take you-I’l just take you by the hand and walk you step by step on how to manifest  a soul mate over 7 weeks and that’s at a website called soulmatepassion.com

  • And I’ll link to all of this for her.

  • Right and then we do have that course, the soul mate passion course, actually you’re going to give them a link. So, click down the link that Chris gives you for this course because it’s going on sale right now.

  • Exactly.

  • And you want to get it a special price. It will be on sale. Let me see if I can find the date until December 22nd. So now through December 22nd. It’s amazing deal and click on the link that Chris gives you.

  • Yeah, I can’t express enough how much we appreciated having you on the show but also make sure you click on this link people, December 22nd, you want to get it.

  • If you want your 2017 to be the year of your soul mate, this is the way to do it.

  • I think everyone listening to this podcast will have that if they get this course.

  • Thank you!

  • Thanks for coming on!

  • Thank you it’s great talking to you!

20 thoughts on “Getting Your Ex Back With The Law Of Attraction”

  1. Avatar

    Georgina

    September 3, 2017 at 7:45 am

    Hi! I hope this comment will be noticed and answered please. I’m desperate.

    My ex and I broke up a day after our 3rd anniversary on August 17. Tbh, I made a mistake of texting him with hurtful things such as, “jerk, dumbass, stupid, insecure and a douche,” bcoz he was implying that I was flirting with another guy on FB but I wasn’t. I regret it later that day but it kinda pushed him to break up with me. Since he wasn’t texting that day, I checked his FB and found a chat from the girl he used to cheat on me two months ago (a day after, I got him back coz I fought for him). The chat was nothing especial, he was trying to buy credits from her to text me. But I was soooo paranoid since I noticed that the girl’s reply wasn’t complete, only to find out that he deleted the convo, making sure that I wouldn’t see it so there would be no drama. Unfortunately, I saw it and exploded. In the end, I regretted what I did but it didn’t matter to him. Two weeks on going after the split, we had sex three times and more than once in said days. I thought that it might change his mind. In the end, he didn’t and I was so devastated. I also committed a lot of the deadly sins like begging and being needy and desperate. A total opposite of how he met me as an independent, strong and clever girl.

    He’s an honest man but it took two weeks for me to know the truth of our break up. At first he said that he wasn’t happy anymore, he got used to the fights and my paranoia that he got bored and that I don’t deserve him. But even if he said that, everytime we meet for school matters, he misses my physical love such as hugging him. And I got more confused! I’m sure that he just miss the feeling of being hugged and having sex, not me.

    In the end, he said that he’s in love with the girl he used to cheat on me bcoz she was there when he truly needed someone during his problems. I’ll confess, I wasn’t always there for him due to fam problems and other stuff but believe me, I was head over heels for him even if I’m sweeter in words and not in actions. I was heartbroken. He said that even if he wanted to (so basically he doesn’t want to anymore), we are not getting back together. Because of that, I cutted myself three times on my wrist. I know it was wrong but my emotions were overflowing that I did it.

    Today is Day TWO of my NC. And he texted me today with, “Gie?” since this is my nickname. But I’m scared that he’ll pursue the girl since I’m out of the picture. Even though we’re at a small college, I’ll try my best to avoid him at all cost and improve myself and he’ll only see me on my FB posts. A lot of my friends and his friends notice that I’m getting beautiful (maybe because I decided to wear make-up PROPERLY and learned to fix my hair which I didn’t do much before since I don’t care about my appearance at that time). He once said after the break up that, “Stop seducing me.” I laughed because I thought it was working. But his decision was final. He said he doesn’t love me anymore. And he said that he’ll miss me. But I’m afraid he and the girl (who also loved him before but Idk now and I guessed she still does) might get together during my NC. And he said that he’ll not text me for us to move on. He asked me to do well in my academics. He’s concern but maybe bcoz if I fail, he’ll blame himself (I think).

    I’m 18 but even if I’m young, I believe that he’s different. He was with me from my darkest and weakest point to my sucessfull moments and got my back all throughout and I’m so stupid to not do that for him. I didn’t have a father figure and our relationship was the longest one in my life. I love him so much. I want him back. He’s been in to so much crap so I should’ve been the one who he least expected to do that to him.

    Do we have a chance of getting back together?

    I desperately want to buy the Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO book but since I don’t have a job and is still studying, I can’t even if I wanted to. Please help me. I’m just losing it.

    1. Avatar

      Georgina

      September 3, 2017 at 7:56 am

      Btw, as much as I wanted to, I didn’t reply. I’m also into deep research about the Law of Attraction.

      P.S. HOLY FUDGE!!!!? HE JUST CALLED! I LITERALLY BIT MY FINGERS TO NOT ACCEPT NOR DECLINE IT.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 4, 2017 at 7:48 pm

  2. Avatar

    Laura

    June 5, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    Hi I am in a difficult situation. So basically I was in a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend, he got jealous over a male friend I had back in July and he was convinced I cheated. I didn’t cheat but I did realise I did make my boyfriend feel uncomfortable when I shouldn’t have. I apologised but back then he didn’t believe me so he broke up with me and I moved out. Before this he had no insecurities. He then came back to me in December and said he misses me and wanted to try again, very briefly we dated and again in January he told me he couldn’t commit so we ended it. In April he came back again and we spoke allot about the insecurities and he said he now believes me and wanted to try again. We have been dating again since April and taking it slow but he has become very busy with work and is unbelievably distant. Going from being unbelievably happy and being together almost all the time, we now see each other once a week max, sometimes less and although he texts me every day, he doesn’t initiate dates, never compliments me, is physically distant and doesn’t do anything to make it romantic. I still really love him but I do not feel a spark from him and I do respect that he is busy but feel he should and could prioritize us more. I feel lonely and anxious most of the time but when we do spend time together we always have a good time. I honestly feel like I am a very little priority to him at the moment and last week I explained how I feel, he said he would try harder but his actions do not match. I have been feeling this way for the majority of the time we have been seeing each other again so I am seriously considering ending it but there is something inside me that feels we are meant to be together. I feel this way about the person he was but I am worried he will never go back to that, so I have basically come to the decision to break up with him for good. I am worried that I am acting too soon but i am really struggling to continue this way emotionally. Can you shed some light? Thank you.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 9, 2017 at 11:57 am

      If you already talked to him and he didn’t make the effort to change, then you made the right decision.

  3. Avatar

    Laura

    June 5, 2017 at 10:19 pm

    Hi I would love some advice.
    I am in a difficult situation. So basically I was in a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend, he got jealous over a male friend I had back in July and he was convinced I cheated. I didn’t cheat but I did realise I did make my boyfriend feel uncomfortable when I shouldn’t have. I apologised but back then he didn’t believe me so he broke up with me and I moved out. Before this he had no insecurities. He then came back to me in December and said he misses me and wanted to try again, very briefly we dated and again in January he told me he couldn’t commit so we ended it. In April he came back again and we spoke allot about the insecurities and he said he now believes me and wanted to try again. We have been dating again since April and taking it slow but he has become very busy with work and is unbelievably distant. Going from being unbelievably happy and being together almost all the time, we now see each other once a week max, sometimes less and although he texts me every day, he doesn’t initiate dates, never compliments me, is physically distant and doesn’t do anything to make it romantic. I still really love him but I do not feel a spark from him and I do respect that he is busy but feel he should and could prioritize us more. I feel lonely and anxious most of the time but when we do spend time together we always have a good time. I honestly feel like I am a very little priority to him at the moment and last week I explained how I feel, he said he would try harder but his actions do not match. I have been feeling this way for the majority of the time we have been seeing each other again so I am seriously considering ending it but there is something inside me that feels we are meant to be together. I feel this way about the person he was but I am worried he will never go back to that, so I have basically come to the decision to break up with him for good. I am worried that I am acting too soon but i am really struggling to continue this way emotionally. Can you shed some light?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 9, 2017 at 11:57 am

      If you already talked to him and he didn’t make the effort to change, then you made the right decision.

  4. Avatar

    Jill

    June 3, 2017 at 5:11 am

    This was so inspirational. I’ve actually done this without even knowing haha.

  5. Avatar

    P.A

    June 2, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    Hi Chris,

    Me and my ex boyfriend started talking about 2 months ago now. Our relationship has developed, as we message more and we did start hanging out in person. Recently, my ex boyfriend has been saying how he is scared to get back with me in case I leave him again as he doesn’t want to go through those emotions, he also says he’s tied in with his new girlfriend, but when I asked him what would happen if his new girlfriend found out we were talking he said he would rather fall out with her than with me. So I asked why that was and he said because I was his first girlfriend it’s harder to let go fully. We’ve kissed, not a quick peck but a good 30 seconds to a minute type kissing, he’s also said he wants back with me but as mentioned before he’s scared and tied down, but then he isn’t really acting on it. He said he wanted to remain friends only for a day or so later for him to tell me he was still deciding on what he wanted to do, but since he’s said that our conversations have gotten more deep and he seems to be bringing the topic about me and him up more than I have. I was wondering if this was his way of slowly getting use to me again? Or perhaps he’s trying to figure everything out slowly? I’ve read your other posts about taking time and being patient but could you give me any head way as to what my situation is like now these things have started progressing? Thanks!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 3, 2017 at 3:37 pm

      I’ll forward this to Chris but I cant promise he can answer because he’s really busy as of the moment.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.