By Shannon

Your relationship has ended. The man you love has left you and you are feeling confused, hopeless and lost. On top of all this you can’t help but think you yourself:

“Does he regret leaving me? Does he even feel bad for hurting me?”

If it makes you feel a little better, everyone going through a break up has similar thoughts.

The good news is there are some pretty solid signs that your ex regrets breaking up with you. We’ll discuss what you can keep an eye out for along with what you can do to influence him and make him regret it even more.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “only human?”

“We’re only human.”
“You’re only human.”

It’s a way to say that we make mistakes and it’s normal.

We spend so much time thinking about things that we could have said or done different. It’s called regret.

Men are strange when it comes to regret. Even when they regret something, they will not always ACT on that feeling. Men have a tendency to ignore those feelings and try to bury them. Frustrating, right?

Not to worry though. Your ex may choose not to act on his regret, but he is still feeling it. Regret leads to doubt and doubt makes men susceptible to being influenced.

Funny how that works. Right?

This means that there is a chance that you can indirectly break down your ex’s stubborn walls and make him want to get back together!

A majority of men are stubborn and that they hate to admit when they have made a mistake. Even more than that, they hate to admit when someone else is right… Your ex is not going to want you to know that he regrets breaking up with you. He may even try to convince himself that he doesn’t regret it!

That’s right, he may not even be willing to admit it to himself. This makes it even more difficult for you to know what he is thinking.

That’s what I’m here for. I’ll show you some signs to look out for that will tell you if he regrets his decision even if he doesn’t know it.

Signs He Regrets Breaking Up With You
Sign 1: Acts of Jealousy
Sign 2: Intense Stalking
Sign 3: His Sphere of Influence
Sign 4: Your Breakup Was Impulsive
Sign 5: Grass Is Always Greener Syndrome

Steps You Can Take To Make Him Regret Breakup Up With You
Step 1: Complete No Contact
Step 2: Self Improvement
Step 3: Keep Him Guessing

That’s a lot, I know. Just stick with me and we’ll make your ex regret ever letting you go.

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Signs He Regrets Breaking Up With You

Like I said there are some things that make it obvious that your ex is not so certain about his decision to breakup. As you make your moves to reinforce his regret, you are going to want to know if you are making any headway.

When you are sick, you look for symptoms to recognize sickness. It’s the same with regret after a breakup. There are symptoms you can look for that will give your ex away. The first might have your ex looking a little green… with envy.

Acts of Jealousy

You know how little kids are with a toy they haven’t played with for months? You even thinks about getting rid of it or letting another kid play with it and suddenly it’s the only toy they want to play with.

Well, men are the same way.

A man who is even slightly regretting the breakup will be consumed with jealousy if you start catching the eye of other men, or begin showing them attention.

He may hide it well, but it is impossible to hide completely.

“You’re going out tonight? Who with? Is it a guy friend?”

Some men will be a little more straight forward about it. Their jealousy may take the form of unexplainable anger.

Try your best to excuse yourself from highly emotional situations like this if they arise. Remind yourself that their response only means that they care. Any response you give will likely excalate the situation even if you try to convince him that he’s imagining things.

As humans, we tend to go with the pack. If everyone wants a new iphone… we have to have it.

If we think that every guy in a 45 mile radius wants to date our ex… we can’t imagine life without them.

So, don’t be afraid to lt him be a little jealous. It’s a good thing.

Intense Stalking

Okay so, I’m not talking about if he’s parked across the stree from your house with binaculars. No. If that’s the case, girl you are probably better off.

I’m talking about the new world we live in… social media.

If your ex is checking up on you online and seems to always know everything that is going on in your life without you telling him, that guy is definitely rethinking his decision.

Now, there is always the friend caveat, where he is trying his darnedest to prove that you are still friends. You can use this to your advantage when you reach Steps 2 and 3. It’ll have this wanna-be friend realize that he doesn’t want to be just your friend anymore.

His Sphere of Influence

Everyone has those people in their life who just KNOW how they are feeling, even when they don’t tell them. It’s a good problem to have.

They can be a kind of support group when you are feeling crummy. And if they are like my friend they’ll take action on your behalf, even if you don’t ask (or even want) them to.

We call that circle of people that you rely on in life a “Circle of Influence.”


Well, you tend to listen to them and care what they think… right?

And you tend to tell them things you wouldn’t tell other people.

While your ex is not going to talk to you about regretting a break up, he may mention it to the friends and family that he is closest with. If he doesn’t mention it to them, they may be able to just TELL.

So, after dating your ex, you probably know who those people are for him, maybe his best friend, brother, or mom. Whoever it is, you can listen to those people when you interact. If they pick up on the fact that your ex is regretting the decision to break up, they will try and push you back together.

“He’ll come around.”

“He’d love to see you I’m sure.”

“He still talks about you all the time.”

No, this doens’t mean you should go running right to him and beg for him back. If he’s only slightly regretting the breakup, pushing too hard could push him into not regretting it at all.

These are just signs to look out for. Don’t use them as an excuse to act impulsively.

So, while this isn’t really an admission that he regrets the breakup, it does mean that his sphere of influence is rooting for things to work out between you.

And there is a reason we call them the Circle of Influence. They have the power to influence him.

Your Breakup Was Impulsive

Speaking of impulse, if you broke up because you were having a big fight, it’s likely that he’ll realize he made a mistake soon after.

It’s like getting rid of that jacket that you’ve had in your closet forever on a whim. Then the next day you realize that it would be the perfect finishing touch to the ourtfit you are wearing. Things always tend to work out that way.

Impulse decisions are rarely ever thought through and we tend to overthink them for a long time.

So if your ex dumped you in a moment of heightened emotions, it’s likely that he is thinking about that decision and wondering if he didn’t make a mistake.

You can use this to your advantage too. Stick around and we’ll talk about how.

Grass Is Always Greener Syndrome

If he was willing to leave you for someone else then why would he regret it. He replaced you, right? Eh, not so much. Sometimes people develop what is known as “grass is greener” syndrome. They think a relationship with someone else will be so much better than what they already have.

The “Grass is Always Greener Syndrome” is what happens when your ex dumped you for someone else.

It goes back to that human nature thing we were talking about earlier. We always want what we can’t have.

We only see what people let us see.

That girl that posts all of those healthy picutres of her food and of her working out on Instagram has cheat days and feels fat every now and again.

And that girl your ex left you for… well he didn’t know everything about her when he left you for her. He’s going to get to know her and realize that she has flaws too.

If you work Step 2 right then you can actually MAKE him realize that he had it good with you.

What these men don’t realize is that all the women in all the world come with similar attitudes, wants, and problems. So when your man leaves you for another woman it is only a matter of time before he realizes “wait… no… I want that one back!” This is ESPECIALLY true if you have been working on yourself and improving so that you become leaps and bounds better than his other woman.

Steps You Can Take To Make Him Regret Breakup Up With You

Step 1: Complete No Contact
For women in pain, not talking to their ex is difficult to do. We want to share how we are feeling and we want to know that our exes feel the same way.

However, No Contact is highly effective against men.

Here’s why: Men don’t like to be controlled.

What they do like is power. When you start blowing up his phone after the breakup, he KNOWS he has power over you.

BUT, when you go silent and say nothing he begins to wonder…

“Where is she?”

“Why isn’t she upset and begging for me back?”

“Is there something wrong with me?”

“Is there someone better?”

“Did she realized she doesn’t need me?!”

This doubt is going to make him think that he doesn’t have as much pull over you as he thought he did. You’re strong and independent. You are worthy of his RESPECT. That’s right! Holding your own and staying silent is going to make him respect you and in time this will draw him back to you.

We all want what we cannot have. You need to make yourself as unobtainable, or, for you EBR ladies, ungettable, as possible.

Step 2: Self Improvement

So, speaking of becoming ungettable… do you know what that is?

It’s an Ex Boyfriend Recovery term. You can read more about it in this article, The Ungettable Girl.

The absolute best revenge you can take on an ex is to make him regret losing you in the first place.

A lot of women make the mistake of becoming the “crazy” ex girlfriend.

But not you.

You are going to become a glowing, healthy, vibrant version of yourself that is going to make him stop and say,

“Is that really HER?!”

How do you go about doing this?

Well, you focus on the Holy Trinity.

The Holy Trinity is another one of those Ex Bofyriend Recovery terms. It’s a trifecta:

  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

Here’s a video Chris put together to explain it:


This is a pretty big one for you as men are upsettingly interested in looks.

After a breakup, exercise is an excellent way to burn off your negative emotions and get an ego boost while your at it. And you do it all while working on improving your overall health and physical appearance.

Get a new haircut and update your wardrobe Do anything you can do that makes you feel goo about yourself. Yes you want to make him stop and take notice as he scrolls through your Instagram, but ultimately the goal should be making yourself feel amazing.

On that note, there is another aspect of health that doesn’t always get as much attention ad your physical health and that is your mental health.

Working on mental health can mean many things:

  • Seeing a therapist
  • Doing some journaling
  • Attending yoga classes
  • Just taking some time for yourself

Whatever it is you need to do to rebalance your mind, do it.


I don’t know if you have heard or not but now is the time for powerful women.

This means we no longer relying on men.

During your No Contact, work on getting yourself established financially so that the only person you NEED to be successful is you.

This can mean many things.

It can mean getting a new job, it can mean asking for a raise, or it can mean going back to school.

Whatever it means for you to place yourself into better standing financially go forward and start taking the steps needed to get there.


After a breakup, women have little to no interest in dating. They want the man they want and that is it.

However… hear me out here… dating is actually going to get your ex interested in getting back together with you.

Like I said earlier, men want what they cannot have and they want what other people want. If he hears you are dating again he is going to start to fear truly losing you and will come running back.

I’m not saying go out and look for love. I am saying go see a movie… have dinner… let someone treat you well for a change.

Outside of just dating, though it is important to cultivate the relationships with your friends and with yourself. It is too easy to get the idea that you need a relationship to be happy.

That is simply is not true!

Become comfortable with yourself and develop a solid support group to surround yourself with. That is the goal of the Holy Trinity and Becoming Ungettable.

Step 3: Keep Him Guessing

The final piece of advice that I am going to give you is to keep your ex guessing.

After No Contact, if he asks you about things that you did or people you met after the breakup give vague answers that will make his imagination run wild.

For example, if he asks,

“Have you ever been to this restaurant?”

Smile and say,

“Oh yeah, a couple weeks ago. It’s a fun place!”

and leave it at that.

I personally have been doing this and my ex now thinks I went on twenty times as many dates as I actually went on… It drives him crazy.

Emotions and people change. Your ex may feel a certain way now but that is not going to last forever.

Focus on yourself, become the best version of you that you can be and he will come crawling back to you. You may very well realize you are worth so much more than he could ever offer you.

The Take-Away

What you should come away from this article knowing are the five ways to tell if your ex is regretting the breakup ever happening:

  • Acts of Jealousy
  • Intense Stalking
  • His Sphere of Influence
  • Your Breakup Was Impulsive
  • Grass Is Always Greener Syndrome

…and there are steps you can take to multiply that regret:

  1. Complete No Contact
  2. Self Improvement
  3. Keep Him Guessing

Okay, so, now you have access to all the info, this article and all of the EBR books and material. You even have access to live coaching with out experts.

But, right here, right now, I want you to tell me about your breakup. I want to have a conversation with you in the comments below. Tell me about your breakup and what you have done since then. And our experts will help you decide what steps to take next.

54 thoughts on “Will My Ex Regret Breaking Up With Me?”

  1. Avatar


    March 12, 2019 at 1:48 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. It happened very out of the blue.

    It was my first ever proper relationship.. we date for almost three years. we met at the summer ball we were both 22 at the time, two days before I was set to leave university for good. We were both final years. I told him although I liked him a lot, he was moving to home to Southampton and I was moving back to Birmingham. He said it didn’t matter. We went on a date the last day I had at university.

    It went so well. He said goodbye and assured me he would see me again. I wasn’t convinced. That would be too good to be true. But it happened. He travelled on a mega bus coach for 6 hours to see me. He met my family. Staid with us for a week.

    I knew he was different from all the other people I had met. From this we hit it off and started dating long distance. He then got a job and moved to London.

    For about a year and a half he had wanted me to move in with him in london. It had been his idea. I held off moving because I wasnt ready. And I couldn’t get a well enough paid job. He had an economics degree. I had a theatre degree. It was a lot harder for me. I got a job at home as a legal assistant. I knew this career would earn for money and help me move to London to be with him. He works as a financial analyst.

    Anyway, in April last year my grandad died 🙁 I found life incredible difficult. He was like a father to me and it was the first death I had ever experienced. It was very worrying. He struggled in hospital for almost a year before. It was a tough time for me but it didn’t impact our relationship. I didn’t want it to. We still made time for eachother at the weekends and would visit every weekend. When grandad died he was very supportive. Attended the funeral with me. Held me when I cried. He even cried himself. He hates me being upset.
    He even wrote in a valentine’s card once that he wanted to make me the happiest girl ever.

    Anyway. Story goes on. We went about our relationship as normal. Strong as ever. Very in love. Everything was fine.

    In January this year however. I left my job. It was stressful and I was being very badly bullied at work. I had our up with this for a year. And couldn’t do it anymore. I left with no job to go to. But Adam said he fully supported my decision. He was aware of what I had been through at work this entire time and had said I needed a new job.

    Anyway I left. We had a holiday in january. The week after I left my job. It was during my birthday on the 14th. We had had this booked for a while. He had paid for the whole thing up front for us. I hadn’t got the money to afford it. So we agreed I would pay him back once I could. After loosing my job he said not to worry and if be able to pay him back in small chunks when I got a job. We went skiing together. My ex loved skiing. And was so excited to share this with me. I had never been and he had only recently the year before went himself with a friend and loved it.

    We went skiing and had the best holiday ever. He bought me tickets to a musical theatre show for my birthday. I love musicals and my idol is the lead. The tickets are booked for the 18th march so it’s very soon.

    Anyway he must’ve thought he would still be with me then at that time.

    When we got back from holiday i started looking for jobs. Applying to many every day. I’d get up early and keep working until late at night applying to jobs on London. I decided I would try and get a job I loved doing. I went for theatre talent agency work. I went for interviews. Some bad experiences some lovely. I was visiting London and staying with him for interviews. We were fine. I had four interviews within the space of a month and a half. It was a stressful time being jobless. I had a lot of doubt I was capable of getting a job I loved. My confidence was knocked by my previous job bullies.

    Just less than two weeks before our break up, the last time I visited London for an interview (and the last time I saw him before he broke up with me.) We had an argument about rent. It wasn’t a heated arguement. Just we strongly disagree with eachother. We never shouted at eachother. I was in London staying with him the night and I was going for an interview the next morning. He would be earning double what I was on if I got this job. We were discussing rent. And placed to live. Locations and things. He wanted to split 50/50. That would leave me destitute. And in London it would be very bad. I’d love to work and go to sleep. I wouldn’t have money for lesiure. The places he was looking at were actually sort of out of my price range. But London being London there wasn’t anything that would be in my price range. I said maybe I should take the job or bother going to interview. And he said no and that I should go. So I did. We had a debate about how fairly to split rent.i honestly wish I had just agreed with him. To argue about money was horrible.

    He wanted to split 50/50 but I thought splitting it propritonally to our salaries was the best way. That way it wouldn’t leave me destitute and it would still have him save money. He would be better off still.

    Currently he pays around £700 on rent for just him. However if I had moved in and we paid 50/50 he would be paying £500 and I’d have paid £500.

    If we split it how I wanted to, which was 60/40. He would have paid £600 and me £400. This seemed fairest to me. He was still saving money. And I wasnt going to be left destitute. I didn’t see a problem. He did though. He said it was like him giving me pocket money. And that it was hide responsibility for him to pay more. He didn’t see it as fair or equal.

    We have always been very equal in our relationship. We would split the bill going out to eat. We would take it in turns fairly to pay for meals.

    He was always talking about money. And how to save money and things. Now I look back. He was kind of in love with money.

    After talking it over for ages. We came to the conclusion that it was fairest my way. He said it it makes me happy and it lessens my concerns and worries about moving to London and affording things. He would do it.

    After that I went for the interview in the morning. Everything was normal. He kissed me goodbye and called me beautiful like always and wished me luck.

    I went for the interview. It went super well and I phoned him after he was asking about it. We had a super positive chat.

    He came back from work. We decided I stay for another night because we liked having eachother around.And we went for dinner at dinner we had a talk about moving location. The job I went for an interview for was south London. I suggested we move somewhere in the middle of our places. He works central London. And lives in zone 2. He strongly disagreed we move anywhere near the south of London because of poorer connection. He was very assertive that we stay central. I was saddened as my commute would be atleast an hour if not more.. but when he showed me how poorly connected with tubes and trains were I agreed we should stay in central.

    We are our meal and left. Carried on completely normal. We were fine still. We’ve always been good at communicating and navigating disagreements in a calm and mature way.

    That weekend he was set to go home for his sister’s birthday present that hd been booked. It was gokarting.

    I didn’t see him for a week and a half and we went pretty quiet on me. I said he was very busy at work. I was aware beforehand that there was a big deadline looming and he was working until midnight some nights. This had happened last year and he went quiet then and so i trusted and assumed it was okay. Everything was still fine. I got offered two interviews that week. On the Friday. I asked if I could come down on Thursday night to sleep and wake up early to get to the interviews. He said he would rather I didn’t because his housemates had got angry about me staying so often recently for interviews and auditions.

    I was surprised. But it sounded true because his housemates were always moody about noise and his contract doesn’t actually permit overnight visitors.

    I said okay and just went the Friday to the two interviews. and went home the same day. Both interviews went really well snd I tried to phone him after each one like we usually did to give him an update. But he didn’t pick up. I assumed he was just busy. We hadn’t spoken very much at all. We agreed he would come this weekend and see me in birmingham. I then got offered the job I had interviews for that day at around 6pm they wanted me to start Monday. I messaged him saying so. He didn’t reply and then messaged me around 8pm saying he wasn’t going to get to mine tonight as he was still at work. He said he would come on Saturday instead. This had happened in the past too so I didn’t read into it. I thought maybe he was angry about the rent thing and maybe he wanted to have a serious chat about that again. But I didn’t ever expect he would break up with me. Not at all.

    I wake up Saturday excited to see him and talk about our future together..this weekend was going to be the start of us planning our lives together! I was going to start a dream job in London in two days time.

    He didn’t text me for hours on saturday. It got to half 2 in the afternoon and I tried to phone him. I wondered maybe he had had a late night and he was having a massive lie in. I started to worry soemthing was up but mostly thought he would just be late. He didn’t pick up my call. He texts me at 3pm saying he was now on the train and would be at mine for half 3. The train from London to Birmingham is almost 2hours. So he had been on that train without messaging me all day. Was he just going to turn up unannounced? I was confused and this mad men worry
    he asked what everyone at home was up to. I said Mom was out on a course all day, my sister was at work, it was just me in. I’m at home in my PJ’s. No make up on. Totally unprepared for what is about to go down. He turns up to the door. And I answer all smiles. A big hello to him. He stood there in the doorway. He hadn’t washed. He had a weeks growth of his beard. He looked a mess and he his expression was like no other I had seen before. He looked nervous and sad and worried. Mostly numb though.

    He walks in lifeless. And sits down in my lounge. Saying come on let’s talk about this weekend. I stood at the door.
    “You’ve met someone else” I said.
    He says “come on sit down” I repeat myself. He said no I haven’t. Just come an sit down.
    I said your are scaring me. What’s going on as I sit down.

    He says ” I don’t want you to live with me anymore.” He croaks this out. And says it in a lifeless and sad way. Like he could cry.

    I’m in shock. I ask him what brought this on. And he said he hadn’t been enjoying our relationship these past few weeks.

    My heart sank. I cried a lot. I went to get. Glass of water

    We talked. I can’t really remember. I think I want asking what I had done. I said he had met someone clearly. And I begged him to just tell me if that was it because it would make things easier for me to understand. I guessed at what it was that had caused this a lot.

    He said he knew I was trying to work it all out but it wasn’t any of that. He just didn’t love me anymore.

    A side note to this story… When he first moved to London he had done this before. He was all stressed about all the change. Hi mother smothering him as he left home. I had spent a few days with him and I think it all overwhelmed him. He said he didn’t know if our relationship would work out then. But he quickly changed his mind that time and we never broke up. He said that he would’ve regretted it had he have broken up with me then.

    I brought this up. I said to him. Remember you almost did this before. Are you just stressed out at work, overwhelmed with change and pressure. Is it the rent? He said no. He said it just wasn’t going to work out. He said sorry a lot.

    After a while he asked for his spare keys to his place in London. We went up to my room and I got them for him I gave him a few other things in my room.

    He went downstairs to put his shoes on and I cried and cried silently.
    He could see I was pained.

    I went downstairs and he said he should go. I said I didn’t know what was worse. Someone falling out of love with you or someone meeting someone new. He didn’t say anything. He looked so sad.

    We both were. He came up to me and gave me a hug as i stood there lifeless. I looked at him and said “we will never see eachother again will we”. He hugged me close and cried on my shoulder. I said please don’t cry I don’t want you to be sad. I don’t want you to be in pain. He cried and I cried and we were both very sad. Crying and holding eachother tight.

    He then went to the door. I said goodbye. Stood in disbelief. He said sorry and shut the door.

    As he walked away down my road he was crying hysterically.

    We didn’t talk again. The next day (Sunday) I came across the tickets he had bought me for the 18th march. I cried and cried. I decided to text him in the evening asking if I could still go. I dropped in that I was going to France on Wednesday so to please let me know. He text back immediately saying “Of course you should go. I really hope you are ok, I’m sorry with the way everything turned out. I hope you enjoy France .”

    I didn’t reply. I was going to France with my sister because she had planed to go ages ago and she booked me flights to go with her as soon as he broke up with me on that Saturday.

    It’s been over a week since he broke up with me. I got back from France yesterday. I expected he would’ve contacted me. Regretting it. Especially at the weekend as he used to spend every weekend with me. That’s when I thought he would miss me most.

    I’ve heard nothing from him since that ext about the tickets.

    What’s worse is he doesn’t have social media. So he can’t see what I’m doing and I can’t see what he’s doing. We didn’t have mutual friendship groups. So I can’t ask.

    It’s like he never existed and all I have as proof is photos, gifts and cards written by him.

    My heart is broken. I don’t know how to move on. I wish I knew why this happened.

    The longer time goes by the more with think mage he did meet someone.

    But I sway everyday between he met someone !! To… it was money (rent disagreements) and living together pressures and the sudden job offer immediately.

    I don’t know what it was. I can’t get over it.

    Can you offer me your opinion? Do you think he has someone new?
    Why did he break up with me?
    Does he regret it?
    🙁 What happened.
    Do you think he will come back?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 12, 2019 at 8:39 pm

      Hi Alice….I offered you some thoughts in some previous messages!

  2. Avatar


    February 19, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    I met a guy 2 years ago and when that happened I instantly heard from our mutual friend that he liked me. But I was in a long-term relationship back then. After I ended that relationship I wanted to be alone for a while and so I was. I went abroad for 3 months and I travelled a lot, I focused on my dreams. When I came back I was a different person, I was healed, self-confident and happy. I guess he noticed me again cause he invited me for a New Years Eve party. And we started to date. It was him who initiated all of our dates and he seemed like he cared a lot. After a month he introduced me to his entire family, not to mention the fact that we hung out really often at his place. And then, all of the sudden he stopped texting me. I thought that maybe he needed some space so I let him. I texted him once and I sensed that he is different and distant so I didn’t want to push him, I patiently waited for him to come back to me. But he didn’t. After a week of silence, we met and he told me that it’s over because he had no feelings for me anymore. I was really understanding and thanked him for honesty. But I really care about this man. Is there any chance that he will come back to me?

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    February 18, 2019 at 6:05 pm

    Hi Chris
    I have read your blog every time we separate and then he came back I also accept… this time I need your advice… he abused me with bad words for doing nothing. He always assumes I have a new guy or flirting or someone is having crush on me. We are in long distance. I cannot keep proving him always and I was so pissed this time when he abused me with bad words. I stopped contacting and said I am done with you. Then after a month he comes and says sorry for doing this I will never abuse or tak bad words, he said I can live anyway I want but he needs me. He is not a person of sorry and regrets, so when he did that I was scared to accept and still spoke to him but just vague answers. I still damn love him chirs. When I ignored him more he lost it and again started telling bad words and told he never wants me back in his life and he knew my character and he left me. Now it’s been 2 weeks and no sign of him at all. I did not want this breakup. I want him to trust me 100 percent and believe me. Stay with me. I wanted him to realize but not leave… I know his ego and attitude will not let him come back to me. I want to know will he come back someday and realize my love… I will not allow anyone in my life Chris, I will love him always no matter what happens but I will still improve my life. I am a photography student and planning o start my business and be bold enough to handle everything… but this part of love life is making me numb… I use to get so many dreams about him when ever we have huge fight and separate… it’s been so many days I dnt feel any emotions and I am so numb and feel Pale dead … I don’t have words to explain this feeling… I dnt even get dreams about him anymore. Will he never come back to me?

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    February 5, 2019 at 9:49 am

    Hi Chris!

    We finally broke up last week, he told me he couldn’t do it no more. We were having this issue few times, and everytime he had this thought, he said he cant love me and hes not in love with me. But he’s willing to try. And last week, he told me, he had enough. He dont want to this anymore. He said, all this while he was staying was just because he pitied and feel guilty towards me. But he’s been giving false hope like meeting my family, do nice stuffs and showed how much he completely care for me. Before the final break up, he was caught up cheatinv with his ex. But he begged for me to stay. After two weeks, he changed his mind again. And when i begged him to stay, with that frustrated face, he said no. He lash out and looked so very pissed. I think he was annoyed.

    So Chris, do you think he will ever be regretting of going back to his ex? He said he always have doubts when he was with me. And now that he said he was very sure of what he wanted which was going back to win his ex again. Will he be happy then? Will he regret leaving me?

  5. Avatar


    January 13, 2019 at 4:18 pm

    Hi Chris,

    Was in a three year live together relationship. Got into an argument about 2 months ago and he left to stay at his parents for a few days which had now been 2 months. All along he’s been saying he just doesn’t know about us anymore and can’t give me an answer either way. So saying we weren’t broken up but not sure if he was ready to come home. We still texted the same, he still visited and occasionally spent the night. Then last Friday, he broke up with me. He’s said the words before so I didn’t take it seriously, especially when he tried to show up to sleep over that very same night. A few days passed and I got wind he had been seen out with another girl. She’s my ex’s ex! So I confronted them and he and this girl both told me they are just new friends with no intentions of anything else. We text battled all week and he said he was coming Thursday to pack some of his stuff. Instead he showed up Thursday asking to not pack and not talk but just hangout. We did, I foolishly let that turn I to him spending the night because I thought it meant he changed his mind, we laughed and had an amazing night just like we always do when he’s actually home. He showed up the next day with boxes being really cold saying he already told me we were over. I was so hurt and confused. So we talked for an hour, he had to go and texted me that he needed a week to really think things through. And he wanted the week to be completely apart and even more distant than it’s already been for two months. I’m so lost in what I do from here. Please help!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 13, 2019 at 11:04 pm

      Hi Lissa!

      So things are still fresh and I know its rough. But are going to get thru this. Best to have an ex recovery plan to help you thru all the post breakup decisions you will be making. People feelings are vulnerable and easily bruised after a breakup so No Contact sometimes helps you get the space you need to start some healing.

  6. Avatar


    December 27, 2018 at 8:24 pm

    Hi! I have been in a relationship for 4 years and about to 3 months ago my bf broke up with me.
    He took me for a ride and all of a sudden he told me that we should no longer be in a relationship and told me that I am a nice girl and he doesn’t want me to change for someone. Until now I don’t know the real reason that took him to make this decision and for 2 months we didn’t text to each other.
    Initially I beg him to not break up with me and then I just saw that I would need some help so I went to a psychologist and had made some improves to myself in order to feel better. I change my haircut, I did things that never have the courage for and I saw my real friends. I know that I am a different state of mind now.
    About 1 month ago, I went out with some friends and I found him. He came to greet me and I noticed that he touch my arm and couldn’t make eye contact with me. On the same night he was talking very loudly and my cousin just told me that when I went to the bathroom he asked her where I had gone and if I was okay.
    The nest day he break the no contact rule and sent me a message saying that he was fine for seeing me well and that one day he liked to talk to me without any kind of intentions. I told him I would like to take that opportunity to talk to him but I was not prepared.
    I don’t know what to think, he is a very racional person and I think that the real problem was in is mind, I always imagine my life with him, he just have the fear of commitment and went to a existential crysis, the 30 years old crysis.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 27, 2018 at 8:34 pm

      Hi Felicis!

      First of all, 4 years is a good amount of time together and that results in roots being put down and traction. This could help down the road. You should be proud of yourself for some of the changes you made to feel better and the new state of mind. That can take you a long ways no matter what happens.

      Its a good thing that you are exhibiting your personal power, showing him how you are processing all of this. Time will tell if he was stuck in his head. So when you proceed with meeting up with him in the future….take it slow. Try not to hash it all out. Just get to know each other again and enjoy the moments together.

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    November 7, 2018 at 3:29 am

    Hi Chris,
    I was dating a guy for a few months (no title, but exclusive and both on the same page about not seeing or sleeping with other people). He’s a bit younger than me and has never had a girlfriend. The longest he’s even kept in contact with the same girl was 3 months.
    I am the first girl he’s ever felt “this way” about, longest in his life, and we speak about marriage, children and the future.
    Our feelings grew quick and strong. When this happened, he freaked and tried to end it. He regretted his decision hours later and came to ME for reassurance. He admitted that he doesn’t know how to handle how strong he feels.
    Things continued to grow (both of us on the same page and communication about NOT being ready for a relationship and just enjoying the flow). And he then decided to take a break. I gave him his complete space and no contact. It lasted 1 week before he came back, saying he really missed me and really knew he liked me. I really continued to go with the flow, not expect “boyfriend/girlfriend” actions, and we spoke every day.
    Lastly, I wasn’t feeling well one night when we were together and I didn’t communicate this with him because I didn’t wanna be a “burden” or girlfriend type asking for help. I was quiet and not myself and he noticed. He kept asking what was wrong but I went home without explanation. We didn’t speak for 2 days and I was sad and confused and selfish thinking “he doesn’t care that I’m not myself”. I finally reached out, he reacted by wanting to “breakup” and I simply told him I didn’t believe him. I finally explained why I wasn’t feeling well 2 nights prior. He completely regretted saying he wanted to end it. He explained that my 2 day silence turned into his insecure assumptions about ME not being interested in HIM anymore, so in order to NOT get hurt he tried to end it first. He was in disbelief about how confident I was when he tried to end it (so was I) and thanked me for continuously fighting for us.
    We progressed, started having phone conversations (this is how SLOW we were really taking things!) and I left for 2 weekends back to back for family vacations. I felt our connection stronger while being away.
    When I came back, he wasn’t initiating to see me yet we spoke every day even on the phone. My anxiety was growing and I was confused. I bottled up these emotions for a few days and then I exploded. I exploded in the sense where I vented to him about his distance and how I deserve 20 mins of his time (just to see him in person and hug him) especially that I don’t ask for anything at all. He was quiet “I didn’t see it from that perspective, I’m sorry”. I was on the verge of tears and fed up. “I guess I’m not doing a good job” he said lastly before I went home.
    I knew I was harsh, I knew I didn’t communicate properly. The next day, I apologized again and he ended it saying “I just need to tell you this is getting too serious for me” and “this is what I meant when I said I didn’t want commitment”. I called him, we spoke and he kept saying he didn’t know, maybe HES screwed up because he never had a girlfriend, he doesn’t know how to care for someone and has never received “caring” from anyone. He tried to casually end the conversation by asking about my day etc. In respect of myself, before hanging up I asked him “is this a yes or a no?” And he said no. Then he said I just wanna be alone. We hung up and it’s been over 3 weeks of no contact.

    We both have never felt this way with other people as we do for each other (I was previously in a 4 year relationship). He’s insecure about what his next career move will be and he’s lost about his direction in life for himself (he’s expressed this to me numerous times). I truly know I was never one to ask for much and our conversations and time spent together have always been amazing. I truly believe in him and in us and I don’t know what to do. I have a hard time believing he may have moved on and has forgotten about me. It’s hard when I didn’t get a concrete answer as to “why”.

    Do I fight for this?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 8, 2018 at 3:21 am

      Hi Donna!

      I think you would regret it if you didn’t turn over all the stones. My advice is to take a look at some of my ex recovery eBooks as I crystalline the information such that your game plan is more clear and detailed.

  8. Avatar

    Lisa Fourqurean

    October 24, 2018 at 1:50 am

    Hi Chris I am really going through it
    10 days ago my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. He stated that he is not happy with where he is in life and that he feels himself slipping back into depression. He stated he would see counselor but refused to take meds. Hos sister said he is having a hard time. He hasnt contacted me yet.and I have not contacted him either

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 24, 2018 at 3:18 am

      Hi Lisa!

      Hang in there…it will get better with time and with a focus on your own healing. It seems that he needs some space and a counselor to talk with. Meanwhile, you should get up to speed on my program. Visit my home page to tap into resources I offer there.

  9. Avatar

    Ging ging

    September 28, 2018 at 9:36 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing your expertise..I recently discovered that my ex has someone new and they slept together maybe in couples of months. I already had a suspicions . he changed abruptly towards his treatment on me and our relationship. I finally proven his cheating. Without any harsh words after confrontations though he totally denied his cheating but through the defensed he sent in his texts or his messages he also was caught on after I nicely confrontated him I stepped back and applied no contact rule…in my 3 days of implemetations he texted me and frantically called me….his last text seems shows jealousy…but I didnt entertained him because I truly have a goal to complete the no contact rule period. Everytime I feel sad I only pray the Lord…In my 5 days now in my no contact I feel something happening in me …Yes , pain is still there but no contact rule motivates me so much for my healing….recovery …and determination to get my bofriend back.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 29, 2018 at 3:46 am

      Hi Ging!

      I know this is painful, but you will get through this an No Contact principle if practiced properly can do a lot in the healing department for you and the relationship. Consider picking up my very special topic 247 page ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. I cover it all and focus a good deal on the all important personal recovery element as well.

  10. Avatar


    August 29, 2018 at 7:49 pm

    This page has helped me a lot I’m 32 and he’s 37 I was in a long term relationship for 5 years and engaged got a house togther last Feb and even a dog last June we’ve never gone through any rough patches just always got on. He would often tell me how much he loves me and looking forward to our future togther. Even told his mum how lucky he was to have found me. He was the one who was keen to get engaged as he was even the main wedding organiser. Our friends (2 couples) wanted to go skiing earlier this year but I opted out due to saving for the wedding and looking after the dog plus not massive fan anyway. One of our friends decided to bring their recently divorced best friend along to the holiday instead. I wasn’t thrilled but 100% trusted him as had no reason not to he wasn’t a ladies man and after all we’d just bought a car togther and planning a wedding and super happy. We were in contact through the holiday and telling me he loved me etc but when I picked him up from the airport he was fine but a bit grumpy. I put this down to travelling. It was valentines and he cooked my favourite meal bought me flowers but was a bit distracted I asked him if he was okay and he said fine but continued to be a bit distracted. 7 days passed and I had a feeling in my stomach so I asked him honestly what was wrong then a admitted he fancied this person and “couldn’t stop thinking about her as she was hot” I was heartbroken – friends told me they flirted on holiday and warned him it wouldnt be happening if I was there etc (she threw herself at him) he assured me nothing happened and even said he wished it had as these feelings were not logical in his head. I moved out to stay with friends but since found out he’s went up to see her 2 weeks later (she lives 3hrs away!) 4 weeks later he took her to a wedding we were supposed to be to be going to. His/our friends and family are completely shocked and no one saw this coming as we were the perfect couple! It’s been 2.5 months now and doing my best to move on she’s just a direct replacement of me! And completely opposite to what he likes – it’s gut wrenching. He’s thrown everything away for a holiday romance he is desperately trying to make work – surely it can’t last once honeymoon period is over?!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 30, 2018 at 1:22 am

      Glad for you Claire…glad its helping you. Lots of content and resources here, so feel feel free to explore. I think your personal healing and recovery should take center stage.

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    Sarah Matthews

    August 22, 2018 at 7:29 am

    I was with my ex for 4 months and he broke up with me becuase he hasn’t fully dealt with his divorce and is finding it hard to give me what he feels I deserve (I too have gone through a nasty divorce). Our relationship was going well, we got along really well, no arguments, fun nights out etc. We were about to go on a second short holiday and I know he gets grief from his ex about their daughter which he finds incredibly stressful and so he ended things just before we were going. I know he hasn’t handled things well but I had fallen for him and handled the end respecting his wishes and with grace and dignity. Once I did this I immediately had some kind words back from him, an offer to meet for a ‘friendly drink’ down the line and bizarrely a selfie of him with his newborn nephew. I have undergone N.C. since and it has been 3 days. It’s hard to think how to self improve as I had to do a ton of this since divorce anyway and I’m pretty sure nothing I did contributed to the ending. I’m finding it really tough and am obviously wandering if he’s even thinking about me at all. I can see now that I was probably a rebound relationship but I still feel we had so much going for us if the circumstances were different. I’m worried the N.C. scenario might not be right in this case becuase he has a lot of stress in the background and am worried how about how to deal with any further contact from him in the near or distant future which I have a feeling will happen as I really don’t think he was 100% about ending things but couldn’t cope with the extra stress in his life. Any thoughts or help would be appreciated. Thanks

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 25, 2018 at 12:15 am

      Hi Sarah!

      You might want to pick up my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. It gets into self improvement and recovery intiatives in some detail as well as how to best implement the no contact rule. Its a pretty extensive book, 247 pages…nothing quite like it on marketplace. It gets into how you can adapt NC and make it work for you and how to modify the period of NC depending on certain developments and past history.

  12. Avatar

    Jasmine Welch

    August 22, 2018 at 1:07 am

    So me and my boyfriend happen to be in the same friendship group and we were best friends before we got together. In the past few months, he’s finished things twice. The first time he was so certain he didn’t want to be in a relationship until he saw me a week later and begged for me back. The second time( which is currently happened) happens after an argument at a party, he decided he couldn’t do it anymore and a few days later went away with his friends to xante (where is he now ) and ended up having sex with someone else. He is still on holiday and claims ‘ if he wanted to be with me he wouldn’t of done it’. Will this change? What can I do to make him want me back? And is he just showing off?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 22, 2018 at 3:17 am

      Hi Jasmine!

      Your ex sounds a bit immature in how he is managing things in the relationship. I think implementing no contact would be the best medicine and having an ex recovery plan so you understand all the ins and outs will be helpful as well. You can go to my site’s home page to learn more about some of my resources.

  13. Avatar


    August 21, 2018 at 4:30 pm

    I am going through a really tough breakup at the moment. My ex and I broke up almost a month ago now after a few explosive arguments, I just couldn’t take it anymore and asked ‘is this it?’ We kept in contact for 2 weeks, we met for dinner and he basically said he wants to work on himself and his growing business. I then asked for no contact as it was all too hard for me. He wasn’t willing to fight or try and work on what we had, he said he didn’t feel any emotion. My ex suffers from depression, he stopped taking his medication around 5 months ago. In the last few months of our relationship, he became an unrecognisable person to me. He showed no interest in me, he was always irritable, low mood and wouldn’t look me in the face for the majority of our conversations. I often suggested he go back to his GP and get medication for his depression and he would fly off the handle and tell me to stop moaning. I’m the only person who knows about his depression, any time we were out in company he would act like a completely different person than the person I always got to see. He has now however went back on his medication since our split. I have stuck to no contact, which I know will be a shock to him as I was the one who was willing fighting for us. He blocked me off Instagram the other day, which I didn’t react to either. I’m just curious as to what he’s actually thinking? Was it just the case that he didn’t want to be a with me and didn’t know how to end it? Or is he genuinely just lost and overwhelmed by his work and depression? Any kind of help to ease my mind would grateful.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 21, 2018 at 10:23 pm

      Hi Megan!

      I am so sorry you are going thu tough times, but time will help mitigate this along with a strategy to focus on your personal recovery. That is key. I think sticking with No Contact will benefit you and optimize your chances going forward. Having an ex recovery plan is important so go to my home page and look at the resources I have there!

  14. Avatar


    April 6, 2018 at 10:33 am

    SO, per Chris’ request, here goes a shortened version:
    I was wih my bf a little over two years, we clicked instantly, had great chemistry and connection in every aspect, we fell deeply in love, I’m 34 he’s 29. He has a very unhealthy relationship wih his mother, she smothers him 24/7, sends him texts constantly, even though he lives alone, she goes by his house almost everyday and cooks for him, buys him clothes, etc. Sometimes he doesn’t like her invading him but mostly it doesn’t bother him. She intrferes in every aspect of his life, he cannot make a decision without asking her, he tells her absolutely everything and in his eyes she can do no wrong, but she tretas him as if he where a 5 year old, its a case of enmeshment (I believe that’s what its called), as a result, he’s super insecure about everything in his life and has low self esteem.
    So at first I got along with her fine (Aforgot to mention she’s seriusly delusional, she has psychiatric issues), but the whole relationship with my now ex bf bothered me, eventhough I never asked him to change that. End of last year, she meddled with something very important of mine, private, lied to her son about it and he sided with her. I knew I would loose him to her the moment I confronted him about it and thats what happend, after a few arguments, and several tries, he broke up with me; our connection and chemistry were intact until the end.
    Its been a month since the breakup, I’ve been doing NC for about two weeks, but I am afraid he will take it as a rejection, since he has a very sensible and sensitive personality. He said he didn’t want to stop talking to me…recently he told his father that he is really confused and needs time, but what I wanna know is: does he miss me, does he think of me, is there a chance for us? It could never be whatnit was, but I dont’t want to not have him in my life…I thought I had found the one, despite everything…

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 4:54 am

      I think the best bet here is to kind of not give in to your fears and give the nc rule a try.

      I know you are scared he’ll take it as rejection but you know what…

      That’s how I want him to feel.

      We need to create a sense of urgency and a fear of loss.

      This will be a great starting point to do that.

    2. Avatar


      April 7, 2018 at 3:30 pm

      Thank you Chris! I know I’m doing the right thing doing NC, specially since a few days after the break up I texted hiim “I miss u” and he lashed out at me, telling me absolutely everything I had done wrong, and several times I asked him to admit that he too had been wrong, his response? “I know I’m not perfect but enough is enough”. His disturbing relationship with his mother has completely destroyed him and his self esteem, if you so much as raise your voice at him, he thinks you are attacking him, but he has a kind soul (I’m not idealising him, dont worry!)
      Again, withthose last few texts we exchanged, I was the last one to write, so the ball is in his court, so to speak. And I’m trying to convince myself that those angry texts he sent are better than nothing, if he’s angry, he must feel something…maybe I’m wrong, dont know really.

      Thank you for answering personally to my post!

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 9:48 pm

      One thing I hear almost no one out there talking about is the important of timing.

      Sometimes if the timing isn’t right you can do everything right and still fail. The no contact rule kind of helps that process along.

    4. Avatar


      April 9, 2018 at 8:44 pm

      It´s me again…I´ve been going crazy, really, today marks one month since the break up, a little over two weeks since no contact. My ex father in law texted me and said my ex had told him he´s confused and needs time (don´t remember if I had already mentioned this)
      The thing is, and again I cannot emphazise enough that my ex is not like any other guy, his sensitivity is through the roof, that´s both what makes him a wonderful guy, but it´s also one of his biggest flaws combined with the low self esteem. Just wanted to comment that he did not break up with me once, but three times, first one I begged him and he agreed, a week later he broke up with me again, but the following day asked me for time, because he didn´t know what to do, until he finally broke it up for good four days later (every time HE bawled his eyes out, cried non stop). And then he wrote those angry texts I mentioned earlier. Am I naive to think his feelings haven´t changed eventhough he said they had? The way the break up unfolded was weird, he seemed to go back and forth not knowing what to do, now he tells my father in law he is confused….am I reading too much into things? I cannot stop thinking about him, thinking all we could have done differently (hindsight is 20/20 I know) and I keep obsessing over everything! should I just give up, accept that it´s over and move on? Because I don´t want to keep holding on when maybe nothing changes…(I am working on myself, therapy and group therapy, excercise, work)
      I´m determined to maintain NC though…but like I said in my previous post, don´t know how he will take it…I do know it will give him time to process everything.
      I´m going nuts Chris, really…

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 11, 2018 at 12:25 am

      Hi again. I know if feels crazy for you now, but it will get better. This may not be over yet! You just need a blueprint of some kind to help you along. Consider my ebook, “Ex Recovery Pro” which you can find in this website’s “Product” section. Just click on my Menu to find your way there! It is chalk full of strategies and tactics!

    6. Avatar


      April 8, 2018 at 2:09 am

      Yeah, I’m determined to maintain NC…..and in the meantime work on myself, getting stronger emotionally.
      Thank you again, Chris!

  15. Avatar


    April 5, 2018 at 7:22 pm

    Forgot to mention, I was with my bf for a little over two years.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 6, 2018 at 12:08 am

      I don’t mean to delete your comment but do you think you can shorten it a bit for me. I’m almost out of gas answering today and you said something in there that I’m not allowed to let be on this site.

      Emotional In… you get the picture.

    2. Avatar


      April 6, 2018 at 7:27 pm

      Chris, thanks! I wrote the comment again this morning from my ipad and it said it was awaiting moderation, but now from a pc the comment is not showing, any way that you have it somehow on your records? I dont want to have to type it again.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 4:57 am

      I got you all taken care of!

    4. Avatar


      April 6, 2018 at 10:17 am

      Ah, ok! Sorry about that.

  16. Avatar


    March 23, 2018 at 2:09 am

    Hey there! So my boyfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago. It was very unexpected and a little messy because we had been drinking the night it happened. We were pretty serious to have only been dating four months. I really thought he was it for me, we just got along so well and had so much in common. Both of our families thought so too. He had invited me to go on vacation with his family in April and taken me to look at a house he was thinking about buying. Even asking me if I could see myself living there! He had told me he loved me (drunkenly, I will admit). His reason for the breakup was that “he didn’t feel like he should about me”. I personally think he got cold feet because he slowly started acting weird after we saw the house(his idea). He always talked about the future and then BAM, it was like a switch was flipped and he changed his mind. I did really well with no contact and didn’t talk to him at all until after the 30 days. Even though it almost killed me. We actually had a fairly friendly short texting conversation last night when discussing him coming to get his things but I don’t want to get my hopes up at all. I still want him back after a month and a half of being apart. I will be seeing him in two days for the first time to give him some things back and I just don’t know how he will act. How will I really know if he is interested in getting back together? He’s the quiet thinker type, not one to express his emotions much…I truly think he got scared. If it is just fear of commitment, is there anything I can do to get past that wall? I feel like he just wouldn’t let himself love me completely. We had a real connection. The type you don’t just find every day. And I’m not just saying that because I’m heartbroken. NC has really given me time to get it all into perspective and improve myself and my frame of mind. I’m at peace with the breakup but that doesn’t mean I don’t think we were great together and could be again. Thanks for your help in advance!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2018 at 6:19 pm

  17. Avatar


    March 14, 2018 at 5:52 am

    My boyfriend and I dated for 6 months and broke up. Well I did the no contact and over 6 months of us being broken up he came back. It was everything I ever wanted. We forgave each other and worked through things. This time we’ve been together 8 months and we started arguing over past things. But finally found common ground… so I thought. He gave me a card saying how he was so sorry for our rough times and he loves me so much and hopes we figure life out together. Well days later we got in a dumb fight. Said hurtful things. I left to cool off and not even an hour later he moved everything out of our home including his sons things. And he refuses to speak to me. It’s been almost a month since he left and only 2 weeks since we haven’t spoken a word. I’m trying no contact but I’m not sure what to do. Please help me.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2018 at 2:47 pm

      Hi Ashley,

      That means you have to take it that he broke up with you and start the count of nc from the last time you initiated and replied. How active are you in improving yourself?

  18. Avatar

    Danielle Spradbury

    March 12, 2018 at 9:44 pm

    Its been nearly 3 weeks since he broke up with me and at first i was devastated but now i am getting my finances sorted i can see light at the end of the tunnel we had a phone call today and he was telling me hes dating other woman and i said thats ok now cos i dont want to be back with you and said i will be going out myself and he said be careful cos there are idiots out there which made me feel that he did care

  19. Avatar


    March 9, 2018 at 8:59 am

    Me and my depressed unemployed ex Fiancé broke up a month and half ago. The day we broke up he close off himself and told me he wants to die and I feel helpless. He also said that he has no affection for me anymore. Hence, I broke up as I gave up after trying so hard to support him. But later regretted bcos I love him so much.

    After a month of no contact, he texted me “Hey.. How are you doing” and then he said he still wants and love me and took him long to straight himself out. He also ask “If I want you back.. U want it? Just asking” and I told him we can discuss together if we want to talk about r/s. He said should meet up soon but not now because he is in lost mood? No idea what that means.. Then he ask if i was sleeping with anyone and I told him that it is none of his business. And he got mad. I don’t know if I should put my hopes up. I was ready to move on and this is holding me back.

    Will be seeing him on Monday as he has a short class at my training center where I work. Not sure what to do. Should I just ignore him throughout or approach him to talk abt our r/s?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 12, 2018 at 5:11 pm

      Hi Hallie,

      If he didn’t change, do you still want him back?

  20. Avatar


    March 9, 2018 at 8:19 am

    I recently was in a 1.5yr long relationship where my ex and I did everything together. I am a very strong and independent woman and he has been hurt by past ex’s, but also he cheated on his previous relationships. During our relationship I never once stayed at his home without invitation. At the time we finally broke I was staying 4-5 days per week, doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry and making sure he was happy every night after work. I massaged him several times per week and pampered him to the hilt. Throughout our relationship he indicated that he would never tell another woman that he loved her, but he would show it. He truly did show it our entire relationship. He had a new house built and I shopped for all his furniture with him, I decorated his home, I purchased items that he has all over his home. We shopped together, spent massive amount of time with his family and had an incredible sex life whenever he wanted it. He asked me to bring my clothes over and had a drawer setup for me. This was not an act and I truly loved giving him this treatment. One day I had an incredible feeling that I needed to look at his phone. Never in all the time we were together did I ever do this and I trusted him 100%. I found a girls name on facebook that he was looking at. Within the next week or so we had a very minor disagreement that I felt we needed to talk about. I always walked on egg shells with him and this was the first time I stood my ground with wanting to discuss this. He immediately said he wanted to take a break and I immediately responded,”I think we should”. I then left his key and took my belongings and left a note with my feelings of love for him and wishing the best for him. This was 12/28, note that he broke up with me the year prior on the same day. Later that week was New Years Eve and he changed him profile to single 30 minutes before midnight. I immediately unfriended him. We went a whole month with no contact, then I started texting him. I was completely hurt by his coldness and he would not respond, but would always read them very quickly. One day I had to stop and pay a bill at his work and drop off his items and I made a point of talking with him. He seemed very depressed, but after our talk he seemed in excellent spirits. I msg him that it was nice to see him and he said the same thing. Then he went cold again. After several days of txting him I told him that it was not right for a woman to pursuit a man and that I would let him be. One day I called him after several days and we had an excellent conversation. Then I asked if we could possibly have a chance again. He said he did not love me. I thought that was so strange because his actions were nothing but of love. I ended the conversation and did not send anymore messages. 1.5 months went by I realized that I had left several items at his home. I asked if he would bring the rest of my items to his work and he responded. He brought them to his work and I went and picked them up and made a payment and left a check for money that he loaned me (he never thought it a loan) and I sent a msg to make sure he got it. We started talking and he said that he would contact me later because he was with someone. This was on 2/15. He made a point of telling me that we would talk soon. I told him no problem. I actually needed to ask him something so two days later I sent him a txt saying that I needed to ask him the question about a bill we shared. He started talking to me and we had a great discussion. I thought that was awesome. So the next week I had a devastating day found out that I have to have a surgery immediately that would put me out of commission for close to a year. Plus my engine in my new car just took a tits up when I was parked at the park. I asked if he would come during his lunch and talk with me. He agreed and we had a wonderful conversation that was supportive and uplifting. He also inquired about a guy that I was talking with and the status. I really thought we would get back together after that. The next day I txt him and asked if we could talk that night over the phone, he asked,”what do you want to talk about”. I said that I wanted to talk about having a friendship, but by his response he seemed hesitant and I was wondering if he was pursuing another woman? And that I did not want to be a wedge between them. He indicated that he was hesitant because he is seeing someone. I immediately figured that’s what happened when we broke up and responded with, “Oh ok, that kinda shitty”. He immediately responded with that he never was with anyone but me during the whole relationship and he wanted me to know that, and that he knew I wasn’t with anyone. He said they had only been together 2 weeks. I apologized and immediately was crushed. I then responded with why he would move on so quickly when he said we should take a break. I then sent him a lengthy message about everything I thought about our breakup and how his acts of love did not match up to his words that he did not love me. I told him that was the last communication I’d send him, said I was sorry for my part and wished him luck. The next day he went to my friends work and told his close friend that he was dating another woman, knowing his bragging was going to get back to me. 2 days went by and I was walking my dog and out of the blue I thought of the name I saw on his facebook search and knew where she worked. I walked in and asked for a haircut appt. Later that day that girl contacted me and grilled me about him and wouldn’t leave me alone, she knew everything about me. I told her that I connected the two and that I knew he was a cheat, which made everything make sense. She swore that they were not together when we were together and she seemed worried about me wanting to get back together with him. I told her about the meeting at the park and how he cheated in the past. I was pissed. I txt him and called him a fucking cheat and to never have his women call me again. I told him, “NEVER EVER FUCKING CONTACT ME AGAIN”. She bugged me till 3:30am and read all the txt that him and I shared and informed me of that. I blocked her from msg’ing and facebook. Now I love this man deeply and I believe that he is scared to commit and found the first girl that seemed greener. He is 54 and she is 37. I am 44. She does not seem too intelligent while conversing with her, I am highly intelligent as is he. I am wondering why he would be conversing with me while in this relationship with her and I am wondering how his little relationship is going now that she is paranoid about me and his other infidelities. I am now going to do the “no contact” approach with him. He has always told me how much he looks up to me, how smart I am and that I didn’t do anything wrong in the relationship and that he really liked me a lot, he just doesn’t love me. That never sat well with me and seemed like a hokey response full of holes that didn’t match his actions. Suggestions are very welcome here.

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