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125 thoughts on “Will My Ex Regret Breaking Up With Me?”

  1. Avatar

    Zahira I Alicea

    December 2, 2019 at 5:46 pm

    My boyfriend and I had an argument and it escalated to a fight were we called my crazy and inmature. We are both 54 years old and this is the first time that we have a big fight like that. I was offended and went to his house and took my belongings and went to my house ( we don’t live together). We havent called or texted each other since then. I would like to have an opportunity to talk and probably get him back. I am confused because there was no “official” breakup. What now? Should I continue with the no contact rule?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 4, 2019 at 9:14 pm

      Hi Zahira, so yes continue your no contact and reach out to him when its been 30 days in a friendly way the explosive break up is hard to get them open to talking to you at first so it may take a few attempts to get him talking to you again

  2. Avatar

    Leigh

    December 1, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    My ex BF and I broke up one week ago today. We have broken up about 3 other times, and our recent stint was going really well, he would comment on how much happier we seemed and that I was doing really good and then he broke up with me after an argument. He said he doesn’t feel like I want to spend time with him very much. I moved all of my stuff out and I’m assuming he is getting the rest of his stuff in the next few days. We’ve never broken up and went this far as to both moving out. In the past I would beg him back, and after a couple weeks we would try again. I did beg this time for a couple days, he just keeps telling me no, and to stop because he doesn’t want to keep going over and over it again. I am 3 days into no contact and I’m having a very hard time not contacting him. I changed my number also so that I wouldn’t keep looking for him to call or text me. My question is should I ask him nonchalantly about something so he will have my number or wait until NC is over to let him know my number. He doesn’t do social media, and he knows my work schedule so he could call me at work if he wanted to. I’m curious if changing my number signaled to him that I am really done this time or if he is wondering about me, scared it’s really over or glad to not be hearing from me. I’m really hurt and confused.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 8:07 pm

      Hi Leigh you should stick with your No Contact and wait until it is over before reaching out

  3. Avatar

    Lola mar

    November 28, 2019 at 11:27 pm

    My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. I did no no contact for a months and a half. We were dating 4 years and this is our second broke up. I reach out for his birthday but didn’t got any response. After that he unfollowed me on Instagram. He did a new Facebook and also he deleted my number but he knows it by heart. I saw him pass by and he didnt even said hi. Our broke up wasnt bad even though he broke up with me. After his birthday I decided to do no contact a bit more. I got a new job and confidence is much better because I was needy at the end of the relationship so I feel so much great now. I decide to reach out once again yesterday with a ” I have a confession to make” text to see if he would answer but he didnt once again. I don’t understand why he isnt replying. I feel that he doesn’t wants anything to down me and also that he have moved one. I don’t why how I can get him to speak to me. I’m now confused because it’s like the no contact didnt work towards him talking but yes to make me a better person. I dont know if this is it and just give up and move on. Help need an advice please.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 1, 2019 at 10:18 pm

      Hi Lola you need to look up what we call Ungettable Girl, and do the work that this explains to do, while in No Contact, if you have reached out 3 times and had no resposne you need to do another no contact.

  4. Avatar

    Andriana

    November 18, 2019 at 12:57 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me more than a week ago and we ended on good terms. It was an impulsive decision and he didn’t use the word breakup but insisted on we aren’t right for each other at this moment. I tried the no contact rule but two days after the breakup he reached out to me, in a manner that was even more attentive than before. He checked in more frequently than before, the conversation was more light than before, he tried to bring up lots old memories, he replied more quickly (almost immediately) than before …. I sometimes even received some selfies and what interesting things were going on in his life. However, we haven’t met in person by far after the breakup. I initiated once by saying I want to see you but there was no following up. Does he want us get back together or it’s just a sign we would be just friends?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 23, 2019 at 12:37 pm

      Hi Andriana, so you need to complete a proper NC and not reply to him when he reaches out all youre doing is reassuring him that you are there if he wants you. You need to make him feel the fear of loss. Stop replying to him for a minimum of 30 days and work on yourself for some time. Be social with your friends but avoid being where he is for some time. Posting to social media about the fun and exciting things you are doing, and even post subtle jealousy posts where he will worry you could be dating someone else. The most important thing. DO NOT REPLY TO HIM FOR 30 DAYS IN TOTAL. NO MATTER WHAT. Unless he direct asks you to get back together, do not answer him.

  5. Avatar

    Fahima

    November 12, 2019 at 4:53 pm

    Hey Chris!
    So my bf of 3 years have been on an on-off relationship. I recently broke up with him, it’s almost a week since I broke up with him. Honestly, I love him so much and I know he loves me too but we’re somehow toxic 🙁 especially when we get mad and start arguing we tend to hurt each other’s feelings and say some rude stuff but at the end of the day we still love each other. It got to a point I was fade up with us arguing and I had to breakup with him, tho I promised him I’ll never ever leave him again but I left again for the 3rd time Now I miss him so much and I wanna get back together but I feel like he’s done and he’s tired of me always giving up on our relationship when it gets tough. What should I do? Cause I texted him a few minutes ago wanting to talk to him on the phone, he said he’ll call later I’m waiting for him to call but I had to pour my feelings here hoping you’ll advice me on this situation. I love him but we tend to hurt each other sometimes

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 12, 2019 at 8:39 pm

      Fahima, so your issue is that you and he dont communicate the right way when you are having a disagreement about something, so if you are to get back together you need to find couples therapy who is going to help you both learn how to speak to one another when you are not happy with something. On and off relationships tend to get back together again without an issue. The keeping together bit is the problem. This is why you need to seek some counselling for how to communicate as a couple

  6. Avatar

    Taranpreet

    November 11, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    I had a one year relationship. My girlfriend broke up with me because she wasnt able to go deep with her feelings and she said she knew she could go more she wasnt able to do that. Then she said the feelings of her kind of became stable at some point. And then when things were happening somewhere the feelings began to decrease and then she didnt wanted to hurt me as i was providing her with everything and loved her.. and the guilt of not able to reciprocate was eating her. I conviced her a lot, cried everything i did. But she said she didnt want a relationship. But she feels the feelings are increasing or she regrets it she will come back. And also somewhere in her head she thinks i still always there for her. She also said she sometimes felt suffocated and alone at my house when we were together. I really want her back and please tell me what to do.. we hadnt talked from 8 days. But have been snaping.. will she ever realise? Will she ever regret..? Will she ever come back

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 12, 2019 at 8:15 pm

      To give yourself your best chance, you need to follow the program and work on yourself during your NC

  7. Avatar

    Prudentia

    November 8, 2019 at 12:34 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I dated my ex for 8years,we were engaged to be married this December and I broke up with him 2days ago. We have had so much in the relationship the past years,he would cheat,lie and break promises over a countless times and I forgave. We’ve been on an on and off relationship since our engagement this year,I’m talking about 3months without touching each other. I revecently live in town and he lives on the other side of the block, he recently came to me and apologised,that he doesn’t know why he keeps treating me this way.We had agreed to get a new place and stay together again as I had refused to go back to our previous one, I feel neighbors won’t respect me anymore,for what I had put up with in front of them in particular. He promised to get the place 3days ago,and that we would move in together,he asked me not to go to work,so we could do the packing and moving together,I didn’t. That very same day,he didn’t call at the time he said he would so we could move,he didn’t answer my calls and didn’t get back to me, until 4hours later when he left a message on my voicemail to prove he’s in a session and he would call me right after that. It was then that I sent him a message,and told him I couldn’t continue with the relationship anymore,because this is not the first time he make promises and on the day to fulfil them,he disappears,doesn’t call,doesn’t text and keeps ignoring me. His actions always leave me frustrated and very hurt,he says he loves me,he wants to make me his wife but his actions say otherwise. I am really fed up,because all I’ve ever been was being an honest partner to him,and he keeps dissapointing me. We broke up for over a million times since we’ve been together,and it’s because of the things he was doing to me that I always dumped him. The wedding date is around the corner,and I don’t even see it happening because his actions are not as convincing. I asked Him to come with me to church about 4times,he promised and never did,I asked him to go for therapy with me,he indirectly refused,I asked that we talk to someone he’s comfortable talking to then,that he refused too. I have tried all I could,I feel like I’m the only one who wants this relationship,who’s committed to us. Please help,what can I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 8, 2019 at 9:12 pm

      Hey Prudentia, I sugget letting him go through therapy and keeping to NC during that time as he needs to work out why he is treating you this way. You need to do the work to be the Ungettable girl and learn your worth and what you are willing to accept from someone and how many times youre going to forgive him. The information about how to be Ungettable is on the website through articles and YouTube videos too

  8. Avatar

    Frigga

    November 3, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    I am very active in social media, so playing the UG is not working as well as it should because he is used to it. I’m starting NC. If I close (temporary) one of my accounts would it be worse or would make him miss me? Because even during the periods we talk less, he sees me so active in social media that the “missing” part doesn’t work, I’m always “there”. So I thought of going off one of my apps for a few weeks (not only for him but for myself, because some things there are killing me and awakening my insecurities and jealously). But I don’t know if that would be worse because “out of sight / out of mind”. But as I said, seeing me there (even as UG) doesn’t help to make him miss me…
    What would you recommend?
    Thank you a lot.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 9, 2019 at 4:42 pm

      Hi Frigga, so if you are normally a very active person on social media you need to become a less active member, one or two posts a week and they need to be 100% UG so they grab attention. Being UG is not only the social media side of things its a mentality and a way of life so read up on the concept and even plan out the things that you think our life needs working on. And do that. And a break from social media now and again is good for our mental rest too

  9. Avatar

    Ann

    November 2, 2019 at 11:52 am

    He dumped me on the 1st and he was real kind about it. He dumped me seemingly out the blue but he said he had been thinking for a week about all the arguments we had had in our relationship and he realised he never got over them. He said that what I had said 5 days prior to that (that his room was really dirty and he should take more effort when I’m coming because were long distance and when we see each other he should make an effort as I do) made him see that he could no longer be himself around me. He broke up with me the exact same way his best friend broke up with his girlfriend. I asked him if he fell out of love with me before those 5 days he had been thinking of leaving me, and he said no. I was so happy and I wasn’t expecting this. He said he was really sorry and that he never wants to be with me again. He deleted our shared album And began following the girl he was previously flirting with, on social media. I’m contemplating whether I should block and unfollow him from everything. I begged hard. He’s broken up with me 3 times and I always beg and I begged this time too but he didn’t change his mind. I have absolutely no desire to call or text him because I’m simply too humiliated. But should I unfollow him? Is this man purely done with me? Is his best friend influencing him? What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 2, 2019 at 10:57 pm

      1 – Only you can decide if you want him back or not so until then I cant tell you what you should do
      2 – There is a chance his friends have influence on how he ended things, but it is not his friend making him do it, this will have been his decision
      3 – At this moment in time it will seem like he is happy its over, but that is very much normal for a newly single guy, his true feelings will show in time. But you need to make sure you are doing a minimum of 30 days No Contact and dont reply to him if he reaches out either
      4 – I wouldn’t recommend unfollowing or unfriending if you want to get him back, if you want to move on then yes i would remove all sight of him while youre working on getting over him.

  10. Avatar

    Anna

    October 10, 2019 at 6:45 am

    My ex and I broke up because I felt him getting distant with me and I heard that he was cheating i confronted him and he got so upset and started spilling out that he has another girl so i left and that was that until I broke down every time I saw him because we have a son together.After a couple weeks after the break up when he comes to check on his son he would be wanting to play with as if we were still great friends I stopped texting him and stopped calling him and just focussed on my school and my son after that I now see him calling often than before saying hes checking if his sons okay.

  11. Avatar

    Stacey

    October 2, 2019 at 4:05 pm

    Hi,
    My ex left me about 4 months ago now. We have 2 kids together were engaged and brought a house last year. He now wants to sell the house. He isn’t interested in reconciliation at all. He tells me he doesn’t love me and we will never get back together. That I should just move on like he is.
    He is seeing a 19 year old who he used to work with, he is 30 in November and I had stuff planned but that’s not gonna happen so am also losing money. He tells me that even if he got feelings back for me he wouldn’t act on them. That we are finished and that is that. He told me he didn’t want anymore kids but yesterday was more than happy to have more in the future. It broke me completely. I don’t know what else to do he isn’t interested in me at all. And from the looks of things is trying to remove me completely from his life. If it wasn’t for the kids I’d say he would have been long gone. He says he wasn’t happy in our relationship but didn’t tell me that until 2 months after the breakup when he was seeing that girl. I’m just so lost, I don’t know what to do or where to turn. Any advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 2, 2019 at 7:27 pm

      Hi Stacey, so you need to work on completing a full limited no contact where you only speak to him about the children and their welfare. So the best thing for you to do is work on making your life better “without him” and where it shows you’re managing without him around etc. I know this is hard. While he has the other woman around you need to do the being there method after your no contact is over. Basically your goal is to become the Ungettable Girl then hell start to regret his decision. He has to say the horrible things he does to you, mainly to prove to himself. So try not to take it personally hes being selfish at this time and will say hurtful things to justify his actions

  12. Avatar

    Nicolette Yvette Raske

    October 1, 2019 at 5:02 am

    Hi Chris I’ve been reading your blogs listening to your pod casts.
    Along with watching your utube videos they have been very helpful.
    Me and my ex boyfriend live together and have been broken up .
    For 2 months it’s been very hard I have cryed alot .
    On my own at first I was begging crying and pleading for him to come back.
    However I stopped doing that he recently told me .
    That he feels regret for breaking up with me .
    Saying maybe he could have tried harder to make it work.
    He is however dating someone else and has been for 2 months .
    I still love this man very much and want him back.
    I have started making improvements in my life .
    I recently updated my wardrobe got a new style and high lights.
    I have also been posting new pictures of myself .
    On social media and he is liking my pics and is noticing the changes.
    But I still love him and want him to come back to me .
    Can you give me any advice that might be helpful .

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 1, 2019 at 8:30 pm

      Hi Nicolette, so you’re doing all the right things and its just about how you start conversations with him that matter now. Reaching out with the texts Chris recommends to get him talking, the hooks, curiosity texts and the self interest types of messages that you need to plan and send strategically to work yourself back up the Value Chain

  13. Avatar

    Kim

    September 22, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Hi ! My boyfriend left me 2 and a half months ago, by text message, not making anything clear for about 3 weeks. In those 3 weeks, he started seeing another girl and is still with her today. We have been together for over 5 years, we have so much together, we have a 23 month old daughter and…… one on the way. He left me when I was 11 weeks pregnant. (Both our children were conceived through fertility treatments) The girl he is seeing is younger than me, into a lot of things he likes (he met her at a gym) and now he changed his entire circle of friends to be with her friends instead. He’s changed drastically. Obviously living this pregnancy alone, not knowing where I will live (our house is for sale) not knowing what I will do financially (we had plans to open a daycare) I am freaking out and I have been the « crazy ex girlfriend » until now… he shows no signs whatsoever of wanting to get back with me, he’s always with the other girl, she lives with her parents so she’s always at his house (he’s living in the house he bought for the eventual daycare, which is 10 minutes from my house so I pass by all the time and I always see her there) it’s heartbreaking. While he’s with another girl, I’m alone feeling our unborn baby move. I have no idea how to get over this, or how to make him want to come back even though I can’t make him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 23, 2019 at 5:38 pm

      Kim, I am so sorry you’re going through this! So you have to complete a limited NC where you only speak about the well being of the children and shared responsibilities. If I was you, Id focus on getting your living arrangements and financial situation fixed before worrying about them two. Them spending so much time together is not healthy and it will cause problems soon enough. As it is new it will be still in the “honeymoon” phase. So focus on you and your little family having a safe and secure life for now. Thats being a UG Mamma right now!

  14. Avatar

    Marie

    August 31, 2019 at 3:17 pm

    My ex broke up with me 12 days ago, it was an impulse decision on his part, and he suffers from depression. We had been together for 11 months. He was going through one of his low points and he was distancing himself from everyone and only wanted to do things alone.

    A member of his circle of influence convinced him that if he didn’t want to do things with me that he didn’t want to be with me in the long run. The next day he broke up with me impulsively and said he plans on moving (2 hours away)next year when his lease is up and didn’t see me being the girl for him since he was going to move.

    Our relationship had been great, all smiles and laughs and only two fights, so I don’t understand. I immediately started no contact after he returned my things, it’s been 10 days. When we said goodbye he said “If you ever need anything or need to talk, i’ll be around for the next few months.”

    Since this was an impulse decision, is there a chance he’ll regret it?

  15. Avatar

    Jane Smith

    July 30, 2019 at 1:32 pm

    Hi! My relationship of 9 months just ended a few weeks ago. It was the longest relationship my ex ever had. Initially, I did not know it was a breakup because it seemed like we couldn’t come to a decision but apparently to him, he had broken up with me. This was only clear when I talked to him on the following Monday. Even then, his behavior confused me. One minute he would be telling me about how I’m “perfect” then “don’t wait for me” and then finally, “I need to be alone.” Overall, it shook me up and I couldn’t understand why he was acting this way especially when it seemed like we were doing well for our relationship except for one part; intimacy but that could have been easily solved with patience. On Saturday, a mutual friend of ours was having a party in which another friend told me the night before that I should go if I can. The morning of the day of the party, that friend mentioned how he switched shifts with my ex so he could go to the party. Was this his way of trying to contact me? Other than that, there really hasn’t been an attempt to talk to me which is odd considering he told me during the breakup that he didn’t want this to be the last time he ever saw or talked to me. Furthermore, he recently changed his Facebook status to single yet still has many pictures of us on Instagram. I can’t tell if he is beginning to regret the breakup or if he is trying to move on. Should I continue with no contact? Thank you for taking the time to read through so many comments.

  16. Avatar

    Nancy

    June 8, 2019 at 6:40 am

    I took an ex suitor back and we became official until suddenly, things became rocky again. I went into several vacation trips while he competed in several competitions which was why we didn’t get to be together that much. In that short span of time, he became more consumed with the thrill winning gave him and I started feeling neglected-evem jealous because his friends got to be with him more. Not to mention his friends like him too. We fought big time until he decided it’s over.

  17. Avatar

    J

    June 3, 2019 at 3:00 pm

    We met online we are in our 40s we went out I felt tension but didn’t acknowledge it he was complaining I said don’t be an @ hole and he took me back to his house I grabbed ny keys as he left the door open clearly asking me to leave and Since we haven’t had too much contact I apologize sincerely after cooling off we went out one night he still hadn’t excepted my apology I tried explaining my action and took the blame and still nothing I heard from him he would drop my things off and still hasn’t I returned to dating app which I also seen him on and he sent me a message saying he was happy I moved forward.. I didn’t respond but I don’t feel as though I really have I miss him dearly and NC is killing me .. but I feel I lost him for good and not sure if that’s what we really want .. how does one argument change everything I know how we felt about each other but I guess it say a lot and how one can be so stubborn ..

  18. Avatar

    Victoria

    May 14, 2019 at 2:52 pm

    Hello my ex of over a decade and after our engagement has left me for someone else. He now seems very happy and has moved on so easily whilst I am still hurt and from the since its only been almost 3 months since the breakup. I believe he was going around with his new babe before he broke up with me so I am assuming its not a rebound relationship. At first we still use to keep in contact and he was still willing to support me financially plus was still willing to sleep with me, it is now 2 weeks that i stopped all contact with him and he only called me once to wish me well in my exams then called after to find out how was the exam after then no other contact was made between us to-date.
    I am trying to move on and sometimes I am ok but yet I tend to relapse. Can you tell me what to you. I had over a decade to love him and plan my future with him so I am finding it difficult to start planning a new future without him. Seeking your help and advice.

  19. Avatar

    Claudia

    April 30, 2019 at 10:56 pm

    Hi, My ex just dumped me and a few months later he had another girl, then he dumped her and now hes back with his ex. he used to mention her while we were dating. Although we has marriage plans. :/ Many things happened and we had an awful breakup. I love him, but he doesn’t talk to me, I deleted his number, accounts and everything because I used to text him on my low days and he always rejected me.
    I would love to know there’s still hope, but at the same time its hard to accept that he just replaced me and moved on.

  20. Avatar

    Rishika

    April 19, 2019 at 4:18 am

    My boyfriend of 6 years and I have been going through a very rough patch recently. He’s been suffering from depression and has been having second thoughts about the relationship. He’s pulled away massively and I’ve tried everything to bring him back. Nothing has worked and he told me he’s considering a breakup as he’s at a point of life where he’s not ready for a relationship as he doesn’t have the mental capacity. He’s 21 and I’m 23. I also found chats between him and a girl who is in love with him and on occasions he has reciprocated with stuff saying he is confused and he wants her too and that his life is a mess and he’s depressed. On most occasions he’s not responded positively to her. When I confronted him about her, he said he didn’t mean anything he said to her, that he’s not in love with her and he didn’t see her as anything but a very good friend and that nothing physical happened between them. I find this hard to believe but he’s maintained his stance. I’ve asked the girl and she’s said yes when I asked her if they’ve been physical, but he immediately texted me after saying that she lied because she thought he was better off without me. The girl was very evading of my questions when I asked her what went down between them and she was very rude to me despite my remaining calm. I don’t know what to believe anymore. One day he says he feels his feelings are going, the next day he says he still loves me but is thoroughly depressed to think about it. I really want this relationship to work out but I don’t know what to do. It’s been over a week that we have barely spoken. yesterday I asked him if he’s coming as he was supposed to, he said he didn’t want to come right now and would have seen me in July. I told him I can’t take the indecisiveness that long and asked him if he wanted to give it a shot or break it off. He said he would prefer to end it. So I said I understand, bye and take care and left it at that. Do you think he’ll ever come back?

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