How Often Do Exes Come Back After A Breakup?

Without a doubt the number one question that I get every single day is,

Chris, do I have a chance to get my ex back?

And usually I have to give a variation of this answer,

“Well, that depends on a lot of different factors”

Of course, if you are trying to get an ex back that is the last thing that you want to hear. Instead, you want a clear cut answer. Heck, some people have literally harassed me until I gave them an exact percentage of their chances.

And usually I am really careful about NOT doing that because I am not a fortune teller…

No, trust me.

I am not!

But a few days ago someone asked me the inevitable question I am always asked,

How often do exes come back after a breakup?

And I got to thinking…

What if there was a way for me to combine my own independent research (I have had thousands of success stories) with the research of others to come up with an actual generalized percentage?

And that is how this article came into existence.

But coming up with a percentage isn’t going to easy since there isn’t a ton of research to go off of out there.

How We Will Calculate Our Success Percentage

I am a big believer in proof.

Nothing annoys me more than someone making a claim without having proof to back it up.

That is especially true when it comes to calculating the percentage of exes who come back after a breakup.

So, I wanted to find a way to legitimize this calculation so I can give you as accurate a number as possible and I think I came up with a pretty awesome way to do it by looking at two data points.

  1. We are going to look at specific studies that came up with a percentage on exes who come back after a breakup
  2. We are also going to ask professional experts (relationship coaches, psychologists, therapists, etc) what percentage they are experiencing

Now, we are doing it this way to limit the outliers.

Something tells me that your chances of getting an ex back aren’t going to be 80% but if someone professional says that they are and it’s the only data point in the calculation then your chances are going to be significantly inflated.

I think that is a really short sighted way of looking at this.

Instead, we need to be looking at data points from all around and averaging them together so we can come up with an accurate number that seems realistic and that is what we are doing by going this route.

Ok, enough chit chat.

Let’s get right to it.

Part One: What Scientific Studies Had To Say About Exes Coming Back After A Breakup

In this section we are going to be focusing on research studies that I happened to stumble across that gave a percentage calculation on exes coming back after a breakup.

In total I stumbled across 4 studies that I am trusting enough to cite.

Each study came up with an actual percentage.

So, here is how I am going to approach this.

I am going to cite each study, briefly give you my thoughts on it and then average the studies together to come up with one number.

Once I do that I am going to jump into the other section (experts) and repeat the same process.

Sound good?

Let’s begin!

Study #1: Poll Conducted By The Associated Press

If you are a pretty avid reader of Ex Boyfriend Recovery then this study might sound familiar to you because I quote it often.

In late 2015, The Associated Press conducted a poll where they asked 1,240 individuals all kinds of interesting questions about exes. Of course, one of those questions was,

Have you ever gotten back together with an ex after a breakup?

It turns out that 41% of the people being polled had said that they had.

(Source)

Now, I will say that this poll is a little flawed in the fact that the wording of the question doesn’t hit on the exact thing that you are wanting if you are reading this article.

You see, “The Associated Press” asked them if they have ever gotten back with an ex before.

In other words, in your lifetime have you ever gotten back with your ex.

It never specified specifics which is kind of what you want.

Nevertheless, this is a legitimate poll and it’s a great start to our little study here.

Study #1 Percentage: 41%

Study #2: Conducted By Dr. René Dailey of the University of Texas

In 2009 René Dailey thought it would be interesting to take a look at dating in college and she found that around 65% of college students who had broken up with their partners had eventually gotten back together again.

(source)

Now, I want to point out the huge discrepancy in percentages between study #1 and study #2. Why do you think that is?

Well, if I had to guess it’s because Dr Dailey only queried college students in her study whereas study #1 was much more generalized querying people of all ages.

I suppose the big take away from the discrepancy is that college aged students tend to go back to their exes at a higher rate than normal.

But we have only looked at two studies so I can’t say we have found “normal” yet.

Study #2 Percentage: 65%

Study #3: Study In (Relationship Churning in Emerging Adulthood: On/Off Relationships and Sex With an Ex)

In 2012 A study conducted by S. Halpern-Meekin, W. D. Manning, P. C. Giordano and M. A. Longmore found that around 44% of men and women aged 17 – 24 were reported to have broken up and then gotten back together again.

(Source)

So, what can we learn from this study?

Well, the discrepancy between it and study #2 are apparent but I’d like to point out that this study focuses on a few extra ages that study #2 did not.

So far it appears that study #2 is an outlier as the other two studies have had significantly lower percentages.

However, I think there is something to that college ages thing that study #2 hones in on but lets take a look at our last study before we make an assumptions.

Study #3 Percentage: 44%

Study #4: Study Conducted Amber Vennum From Kansas State University

Now, before I dive into this one I want to say that this is probably the least accurate study of the four.

Why?

Well, because it only focuses on a subset of couples who have broken up.

According to a 2013 study conducted by Amber Vennum, an assistant professor of family studies and human services at Kansas State University, about 37% of couples living together who had broken up had reported that they had gotten back together again.

(source)

I wish I could have found more accurate data for you guys for the fourth study.

I looked everywhere and read some of the most boring studies you can imagine but this was the best I could find so we are just going to have to make due!

Study #4 Percentage: 37%

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Adding The Studies All Up

So, we looked at a total of four studies in part one.

Their percentages respectively came in at,

  1. 41%
  2. 65%
  3. 44%
  4. 37%

So, overall when you average those four percentages together you get,

46 Percent

Which honestly I think is a pretty solid number considering one of these studies only focused on couples who were living together which always presents it’s own set of unique problems.

Overall, when you look at these studies it seems like you have the best chance if you and your ex are in the college ages,

College Ages = 18-22

Study #2 found a significantly higher success rate when it only focused on couples within that age range.

So, it seems like that is the sweet spot to be.

But we are only looking at half the data here.

Lets move on and ask some experts!

Part Two: What Experts Had To Say About Exes Coming Back After A Breakup

I knew I wanted to get some actual experts take on percentages instead of just relying on studies.

After all, there is something impersonal about studies and sometimes you can learn a bit more by hearing from experts out there.

Overall I was able to bring together four experts to the table for you,

  1. A professional relationship consultant
  2. A sex therapist
  3. A psychic
  4. Marriage and family therapist

Now, one thing I learned very quickly is that experts are a lot like me in the fact that they look at things situation by situation. Sometimes it’s impossible to give an exact percentage when you look at things like that.

So, as I give you the expert take you will notice that I am going to be not counting some of their answers.

Why?

Well, some of them didn’t give percentages.

Overall though I think 3 out of the 4 gave us a percentage to work with!

Lets begin!

Expert Take #1: Chris Seiter (Professional Relationship Consultant)

Hey, that’s me!

Getting people back together is kind of my thing since it’s what I do for a living but putting an actual success percentage behind it is really difficult.

Why?

Well, sometimes people don’t tell me when they get their exes back.

Most people know me through my writing here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery and they never get a chance to introduce themselves to me because they never leave comments.

So, knowing my exact success percentage is difficult to nail down.

What I can focus in on though are the people who I have worked with personally.

Off the top of my head I would say that 45% of those individuals have seen success in some way, shape or form.

However, I will say that, that number significantly increases for those people I work with that actually execute what I tell them to do.

I find that the majority of people who I work with don’t actually implement the things I tell them to and then I often get blamed when things don’t go how they were hoping.

Nevertheless, my number is probably somewhere around 45%.

Expert #1 Percentage: 45%

Expert #2: Sunny Rodgers (Certified Clinical Sexologist)

Sunny runs a pretty popular website and is a Certified Clinical Sexologist, a professional sex coach and an Ambassador for the American Sexual Health Association

I have to say that I found Sunny’s findings really fascinating.

Here is what she had to say,

“With a lot of my clients I find that Exes play a big part in their current lives, whether their in a new relationship or not. I’ve had clients seek tarot card readers and have worn Moonstone because they heard that that stone will help reunite lost loves. With my clients, I find that 20-25% do get back together with their Exes, usually within a few months. Some repeatedly break up just to keep passion and tension alive in their relationship. And for the 20-25% that do get back together, 50% of them will break up again permanently within six months. All of this is just what I’ve seen with the people that I’ve coached.”

The 20-25% success rate doesn’t shock me. What really interested me was her finding that half of them will stay together and half of them will breakup within six months.

Fascinating stuff!

Expert #2 Percentage: 25%

Expert #3: Davida Rappaport (Psychic, Entertainer, Speaker, Tarot Card Reader)

I figure you always need to have a psychic in the mix when you are doing these kinds of calculations so I asked Davida about her findings and she wrote a lot of really fascinating things for me,

“Many of my clients ask me if their Ex is coming back or what they should do if their Ex wants to come back. In some cases, they still love them and would welcome them back in a heartbeat, even if the relationship may have been abusive. Predicting if and when an Ex may return is somewhat unpredictable. Everything depends upon what their relationship was like prior to the breakup and what triggered the breakup. Here are a few possibilities you may want to consider:

1. If the relationship was very steamy – major chemistry and hot, hot, hot, there is a strong chance the Ex will want to come back; he will probably re-establish contact within a few weeks or a few months. When the chemistry is off the chart, even if there are problems in the relationship that were never dealt with, chemistry generally overrides logic. This type of comeback goes both ways. However, if the couple does not work on the relationship, they may break up and reunite more than once. If fact, they can keep doing this for years.

2. If the relationship was volatile (and ended the same way), I generally tell my clients it would not be a good idea to let their Exes back into their lives because their relationship was unhealthy and/or abusive. Because of the volatility of the personality, it is impossible to predict when their Ex will return. These types of Exes can come back within a month or as far out as a year later, if they are going to come back. I remind my clients they should not expect him to change his behavior – this will still be a volatile relationship. If they take him back, they may end up separating again because the relationship problems are still there.

3. If the relationship was a good one, and your breakup was due to your Ex relocating for a new job or accepting a transfer, why not call him to see how he is doing if he does not contact you after six months? You can always find out if he misses you. The best thing that could happen is he tells you he still loves you and misses you. Who knows, you might end up reconnecting and relocating to be with your former Ex.

4. If you broke up because your Ex suggested you both see other people, that is usually a sign that your Ex wanted out of the relationship. In this case, the chance of him wanting to come back is slim to none. You may never know the real reason why he wanted to break up, and I don’t recommend driving yourself crazy trying to figure it out. It usually has nothing to do with you. If at some point down the road he realizes how wonderful you are wants you to take him back, wouldn’t it be fantastic if you found someone better in the meantime? You could tell your Ex, “You blew it.”

5. If your breakup was because of family obligations (older parents or young children), this type of breakup usually does not lend itself to comebacks. Some Exes have a problem with familial obligations because they want things simple, easy and no drama. In this case, he probably won’t want to come back. That can be a good thing.

6. If your breakup was due to your Ex’s familial interference, more than likely, your Ex will not be making a comeback. Generally if you have an Ex whose parents always pull his strings, even if he wanted to come back, he will always choose his family over you.

7. I saved the most outrageous scenario for last. If your Ex is commitment phobic and broke up with you when you brought up the “C” word, there is a good chance he may turn up again under a future Retrograde Mercury. However, he may also leave again if he doesn’t want to commit. If you want to dismiss the Retrograde Mercury option, remember that a commitment phobic Ex may come back again at any time, and often does. However, if you mention the “C” word again, he will either break up again or become a ghost. Like a ghost, he may haunt you in some way…if you let him.”

See, aren’t her findings really fascinating?

The sense I got from them was that your chances are very situational.

So, with her I don’t think we can come up with an actual percentage but that is ok.

She just cut right to the heart of the matter which I am going to talk about in a second.

Expert #3 Percentage: N/A

Expert Take #4: Lisa Bahar (Marriage And Family Therapist)

And last but certainly not least we have Lisa Bahar a Marriage and Family Therapist!

Here is what she had to say about exes returning,

“Ex’s tend to return more often than not, it is the second question as to why, in many cases, there may be a sense of guilt, attachment, that they need to confirm that the ex is still receptive to them, wanting to seek control even though they are no longer committed, wanting to have attention. 

In other cases perhaps, the individual had time to reflect, explore his or her feelings about the breakup after a period of time and feels inclined to try and reach out and return.  Many times, there is rejection that the ex was not expecting, and returns to one who they feel will be more open and receptive.”

Exes tend to return more often than not…

How do we quantify those words into a percentage?

I wouldn’t ever try to speak for Lisa but it is my understanding that more often than not means more than 50%. So, using that logic 51% would be more often than not and I would like to use that as Lisa’s number.

Why?

Well, I wanted to mimic our research findings with the studies above as closely as possible and 51% is the closest number we can use.

Expert #4 Percentage: 51%

What Percentage Chance Of Getting Your Ex Back That You Actually Have

And now we come to the grand finale.

This is the moment we have all been waiting for as I add everything up and give you one specific number as to what your chances with your ex are.

First things first, I’d like to remind you what the studies number was in case you had forgotten.

  • Studies Found That 46% Of Exes Will Come Back After A Breakup

Ok, now before I give you the final number let’s add up all of the experts opinions.

In total we have four experts who gave us opinions on what percentage of exes came back,

  1. 45%
  2. 25%
  3. N/A
  4. 51%

I am just going to void the N/A and not count it in the average.

So, when I tally it all up we get,

  • Experts Say 40% Of Exes Come Back After a Breakup

So, experts are definitely a bit lower than studies but that doesn’t really matter since we still need to average everything together.

Are you ready?

Drumroll please!

….

…..

…..

…..

……

According to my research there is a 43% Chance That Your Ex Will Come Back After A Breakup

But I personally think that you can move that number up if you know what you are doing.

How many of the men and women in these calculations actually knew what they were doing?

The answer = not many of them.

Just saying!

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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113 Comments on "How Often Do Exes Come Back After A Breakup?"

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Annette
Guest
I am 22 and my ex is 20 , last night he broke up with via text. In the beginning everything was i came on weekends to see him from college and he stopped by my schools a few times. As the relationship progressed I stayed at his home i few times , ( he lives with his parents). The family situation started getting bad due to money problems at home , his family started getting violent and did want him in a relationship and they did everything posible to keep us apart. This was going on for two months… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Annette
Guest
I am 22 and my ex is 20 , last night he broke up with via text. In the beginning everything was i came on weekends to see him from college and he stopped by my schools a few times. As the relationship progressed I stayed at his home i few times , ( he lives with his parents). The family situation started getting bad due to money problems at home , his family started getting violent and did want him in a relationship and they did everything posible to keep us apart. This was going on for two months… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Jess
Guest
I broke up with my ex because he said he could not marry me. I’m 35 and my ex is 38. He had avoidant attachment style and very closed off. It was hard for me to in a relationship where affection was rarely displayed. When I brought up marriage he started opening up himself how he believes that he can never be happy and his life is very boring. He did not want to break up with me and was very distressed about the fact that we are splitting up. I could tell that he genuinely did not want to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jess,

Honestly, we can’t control other people, that’s why it’s important to have standards. So, that we know what kind of people we allow to stay in our lives.

Jess
Guest
I broke up with my ex because he said he could not marry me. I’m 35 and my ex is 38. He had avoidant attachment style and very closed off. It was hard for me to in a relationship where affection was rarely displayed. When I brought up marriage he started opening up himself how he believes that he can never be happy and his life is very boring. He did not want to break up with me and was very distressed about the fact that we are splitting up. I could tell that he genuinely did not want to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jess,

Honestly, we can’t control other people, that’s why it’s important to have standards. So, that we know what kind of people we allow to stay in our lives.

Jessica
Guest
My ex just broke up with me this last week. I have finished my BA and we did long distance for two of them we have been dating for almost 6 years. I am now getting my teaching credential and I have pushed him to pursue his BA degree and he moved up to college with me. He has now decided to join a fraternity at 23 and just broke up with me. He said it was because our relationship has its ups and downs and gets good than hard again. I tried to tell him it’s just been hard… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jessica,
It looks like a grass is greener..have you taken our quiz? Check the link below too:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Jessica
Guest
My ex just broke up with me this last week. I have finished my BA and we did long distance for two of them we have been dating for almost 6 years. I am now getting my teaching credential and I have pushed him to pursue his BA degree and he moved up to college with me. He has now decided to join a fraternity at 23 and just broke up with me. He said it was because our relationship has its ups and downs and gets good than hard again. I tried to tell him it’s just been hard… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jessica,
It looks like a grass is greener..have you taken our quiz? Check the link below too:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Lucy
Guest
My boyfriend of two years recently broke up with me pretty out of the blue about a month ago. He has always treated me very well and was a very loving boyfriend. I have been stressed trying to find work and been holding out for a job within my industry for about a year and trying to see where I really want to be in my field. He has been supportive of this and has always been generous with paying for things since he makes good money and recently been promoted twice in the past two years. I always offer… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Lucy
Guest
My boyfriend of two years recently broke up with me pretty out of the blue about a month ago. He has always treated me very well and was a very loving boyfriend. I have been stressed trying to find work and been holding out for a job within my industry for about a year and trying to see where I really want to be in my field. He has been supportive of this and has always been generous with paying for things since he makes good money and recently been promoted twice in the past two years. I always offer… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Bea
Guest
Recently my boyfriend of 1.5 years has broken up with me because he “fell out of love” over the phone during our university’s winter break. We have been together since high school and unexpectedly ended up at the same university too. He lives in the same residence hall as me and will be for the next year as well. Even if I want to avoid him, I work at the residence hall so I will have to see him regardless. This whole break up came completely out of nowhere, he had even gone to my family’s new year’s eve party… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bea,

you can use the advice on this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

Bea
Guest
Recently my boyfriend of 1.5 years has broken up with me because he “fell out of love” over the phone during our university’s winter break. We have been together since high school and unexpectedly ended up at the same university too. He lives in the same residence hall as me and will be for the next year as well. Even if I want to avoid him, I work at the residence hall so I will have to see him regardless. This whole break up came completely out of nowhere, he had even gone to my family’s new year’s eve party… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bea,

you can use the advice on this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

Younglove
Guest
Hello, so I am going through a break up of over 3 years in a relationship with this person. For 2.5 years we were amazing, minimal fights and loved each other so much. Than he joined a fraternity, gave up a hobby he loved, and slowly began to change. He began wanting to party more, be more with friends, and show signs of regret of missing out on the party life style since he came into college dating me and is now about to graduate next semester. He also began claiming he wasn’t happy with anything in his life anymore,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Young love,

what do you have to talk about during nc?

Younglove
Guest
Hello, so I am going through a break up of over 3 years in a relationship with this person. For 2.5 years we were amazing, minimal fights and loved each other so much. Than he joined a fraternity, gave up a hobby he loved, and slowly began to change. He began wanting to party more, be more with friends, and show signs of regret of missing out on the party life style since he came into college dating me and is now about to graduate next semester. He also began claiming he wasn’t happy with anything in his life anymore,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Young love,

what do you have to talk about during nc?

That Girl
Guest

Hi Amor

We have known each other for 17 years but were together as a couple only for one

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Maybe it was too soon for him…you were just a year together..how old are you both?

That Girl
Guest

Hi Amor

We have known each other for 17 years but were together as a couple only for one

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Maybe it was too soon for him…you were just a year together..how old are you both?

That Girl
Guest

Hi amor

We have known each other for 17 years and we were together for one year.

That Girl
Guest

Hi amor

We have known each other for 17 years and we were together for one year.

That Girl
Guest
I broke up with my boyfriend one month ago because I did not feel things were moving forward. We talked about moving in together , getting married and all the mos beautiful things in life( all of this was his idea). However, when it was time to translate those words into actions it was like we were leaving a different story. Time went by and I started spending almost 5 days a week at his place but still had no keys and he always said he lived alone. That hurt me a lot and after 5 months of trying to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi That Girl,

How long was your relationship?

That Girl
Guest
I broke up with my boyfriend one month ago because I did not feel things were moving forward. We talked about moving in together , getting married and all the mos beautiful things in life( all of this was his idea). However, when it was time to translate those words into actions it was like we were leaving a different story. Time went by and I started spending almost 5 days a week at his place but still had no keys and he always said he lived alone. That hurt me a lot and after 5 months of trying to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi That Girl,

How long was your relationship?

Melissa
Guest
My ex bf left me for his ex wife (this is the 3rd time in a 3 year period). I know you’re probably thinking how I could even want him back but I just do. He is literally the love of my life and I’m plum sad without him. We have been broken up for 5 months now and have been in NC for 2 of those months. Is there even a chance that he will come back to me? He said I needed to move on…. What do you think the odds are of him and his ex wife… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Melissa,

Honestly it’s very small because he already told you to move on and especially if he’s not actively pushing for a divorce with her

Melissa
Guest
My ex bf left me for his ex wife (this is the 3rd time in a 3 year period). I know you’re probably thinking how I could even want him back but I just do. He is literally the love of my life and I’m plum sad without him. We have been broken up for 5 months now and have been in NC for 2 of those months. Is there even a chance that he will come back to me? He said I needed to move on…. What do you think the odds are of him and his ex wife… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Melissa,

Honestly it’s very small because he already told you to move on and especially if he’s not actively pushing for a divorce with her

Tanya
Guest

My boyfriend of 17 years went through some incredible stressful months losing relatives and financial woes. Then the girl he was madly in love with in High School (who now lives 4 hrs away) got in touch with him and he left me for her. He says he loves her but is not sure it’s long lasting love and he is not sure if me and him are over for good. He also said he loves me and will always love me. This happened 4 months ago. Can I get him back ?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Tanya,

did you keep talking him until now?

Tanya
Guest

My boyfriend of 17 years went through some incredible stressful months losing relatives and financial woes. Then the girl he was madly in love with in High School (who now lives 4 hrs away) got in touch with him and he left me for her. He says he loves her but is not sure it’s long lasting love and he is not sure if me and him are over for good. He also said he loves me and will always love me. This happened 4 months ago. Can I get him back ?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Tanya,

did you keep talking him until now?

Mike
Guest
Hi there, my ex of 8 years broke up with me 2.5 months ago. She told me she could not love me anymore for her happiness and sanity. Over the past 2-3 months I’ve been making a lot of changes in my life for the positive, in turn these were things that caused a lot of turmoil on the relationship. We’ve spoken several times since the break up, the first month she had reached out because I think she was angry with me about every 10 days to let me know how she will do so much better than me.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mike,
Yes try it for atleast 30 days

Mike
Guest
Hi there, my ex of 8 years broke up with me 2.5 months ago. She told me she could not love me anymore for her happiness and sanity. Over the past 2-3 months I’ve been making a lot of changes in my life for the positive, in turn these were things that caused a lot of turmoil on the relationship. We’ve spoken several times since the break up, the first month she had reached out because I think she was angry with me about every 10 days to let me know how she will do so much better than me.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mike,
Yes try it for atleast 30 days

Jasmine
Guest
I just wanted to say that reading all the posts on this website and buying the No Contact rule handbook really really helped me. Listening to the podcasts helped me too. In all honesty the no contact rule is so critical and important to getting your ex back. My ex and I broke up back in December 2015 and it was super hard on me. I made so many mistakes…constant texts, seeing him and sleeping with him after we had broken up, not giving him his space…to the point where he actually blocked me 2 or 3 times. It wasn’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

thank you for sharing Jasmine!

Jasmine
Guest
I just wanted to say that reading all the posts on this website and buying the No Contact rule handbook really really helped me. Listening to the podcasts helped me too. In all honesty the no contact rule is so critical and important to getting your ex back. My ex and I broke up back in December 2015 and it was super hard on me. I made so many mistakes…constant texts, seeing him and sleeping with him after we had broken up, not giving him his space…to the point where he actually blocked me 2 or 3 times. It wasn’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

thank you for sharing Jasmine!

Kandace
Guest
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday for religious views. Our relationship was honestly great for the most part. We had a couple little fights here and there. But for the most part it was good. I’ve learned in the past to not show any emotion to when they break up with you. So I told him, “No worries, I understand! I agree” we hung out last night when he “told me he has to break up for a week until he sees his bishop again.” He texted me about 5 minutes after I left his house. I said,” I’m… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Kandace
Guest
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday for religious views. Our relationship was honestly great for the most part. We had a couple little fights here and there. But for the most part it was good. I’ve learned in the past to not show any emotion to when they break up with you. So I told him, “No worries, I understand! I agree” we hung out last night when he “told me he has to break up for a week until he sees his bishop again.” He texted me about 5 minutes after I left his house. I said,” I’m… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
cas
Guest
so im kinda in the situation. my ex and i broke 8 months ago after a relationship of 2 years and recently there’s this guy ive been talking too for about a month and it’s been g r e a t. but the only thing is i still have feelings for my ex (very minor but still there) but i also starting to develop feelings for the other guy????? if that make sense at all lol. my ex has apparently found out about that guy and trying to get me back but within those 8 month period that we have… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

honestly, it looks like he’s trying to get back because he can see you’re moving.. the question is, would he be consistent once he gets you back again?

cas
Guest
so im kinda in the situation. my ex and i broke 8 months ago after a relationship of 2 years and recently there’s this guy ive been talking too for about a month and it’s been g r e a t. but the only thing is i still have feelings for my ex (very minor but still there) but i also starting to develop feelings for the other guy????? if that make sense at all lol. my ex has apparently found out about that guy and trying to get me back but within those 8 month period that we have… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

honestly, it looks like he’s trying to get back because he can see you’re moving.. the question is, would he be consistent once he gets you back again?

Nicole
Guest
Hi, Me and my ex broke up more than 6 months ago. We are both only 18 so were fairly young. We had a great relationship and loved each other. I ended up having to move away for awhile and he broke up with me out of the blue because he said he couldn’t handle the distance and I was crushed. Fast forward many months to now and Ive recently moved back home into the area. Ive been offered a part time job at the same place my ex works. I know I probably shouldn’t have applied there in the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

don’t ask him if it’s alright to work there.. unless he owns the company… check this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Nicole
Guest
Hi, Me and my ex broke up more than 6 months ago. We are both only 18 so were fairly young. We had a great relationship and loved each other. I ended up having to move away for awhile and he broke up with me out of the blue because he said he couldn’t handle the distance and I was crushed. Fast forward many months to now and Ive recently moved back home into the area. Ive been offered a part time job at the same place my ex works. I know I probably shouldn’t have applied there in the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

don’t ask him if it’s alright to work there.. unless he owns the company… check this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Pals
Guest
My boyfriend and I broke up two months ago. He broke up with me coz he cudnt deal with the long distance and study pressure and said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He was very serious about the relationship but suddenly fizzled out. When he was in town everything was great, he gave a lot of attention and met me every day but the week he went back he changed his behaviour. Started becoming very distant. We spoke on and off after that and also had a few arguments. He’s gotten attached to another girl and I don’t know… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Pals
Guest

Will the no contact rule have an effect on him?! Or is there any other way this can be worked out ?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

the no contact rule helps to increase your chances because he already made a decision, which is to break up with you.. continue to talk after that will either make you friendzone or you will look like chasing which both decreases your value because you look you don’t respect yourself enough to walk away when somebody chose to leave you.. when you do no contact, focus in healing and improving before slowly building up rapport again while you continue to improve yourself

Pals
Guest

So I have initiated the no contact rule. It’s been almost one and a half weeks since we spoke. I don’t know if it’s even having any effect on him. I just don’t want everything to end for good, or him to move on completely. Maybe it’s his ego that’s making him not talk to me. I really am confused as to what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

check this one:
The Ungettable Girl

Pals
Guest
My boyfriend and I broke up two months ago. He broke up with me coz he cudnt deal with the long distance and study pressure and said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He was very serious about the relationship but suddenly fizzled out. When he was in town everything was great, he gave a lot of attention and met me every day but the week he went back he changed his behaviour. Started becoming very distant. We spoke on and off after that and also had a few arguments. He’s gotten attached to another girl and I don’t know… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Pals
Guest

Will the no contact rule have an effect on him?! Or is there any other way this can be worked out ?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

the no contact rule helps to increase your chances because he already made a decision, which is to break up with you.. continue to talk after that will either make you friendzone or you will look like chasing which both decreases your value because you look you don’t respect yourself enough to walk away when somebody chose to leave you.. when you do no contact, focus in healing and improving before slowly building up rapport again while you continue to improve yourself

Pals
Guest

So I have initiated the no contact rule. It’s been almost one and a half weeks since we spoke. I don’t know if it’s even having any effect on him. I just don’t want everything to end for good, or him to move on completely. Maybe it’s his ego that’s making him not talk to me. I really am confused as to what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

check this one:
The Ungettable Girl

Henley
Guest
Hi Amor! My exboyfriend and I broke up last year after two years together. We were in a long distance relationship and after he cheated we hit a low, he moved for me to my country for a semester but we fought a lot and eventually decided it didn’t work this way. We took a lot of space and since the new year we have been in such good contact again. Still, because of the coming goodbye, it never got official again and he said he loved me but wasn’t in love with me, so I just left it at… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

try to wait and see first..so, that you wouldn’t look like you’re thinking about it..

Henley
Guest
Hi Amor! My exboyfriend and I broke up last year after two years together. We were in a long distance relationship and after he cheated we hit a low, he moved for me to my country for a semester but we fought a lot and eventually decided it didn’t work this way. We took a lot of space and since the new year we have been in such good contact again. Still, because of the coming goodbye, it never got official again and he said he loved me but wasn’t in love with me, so I just left it at… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

try to wait and see first..so, that you wouldn’t look like you’re thinking about it..

TNT
Guest

Probably explained that wrong:
I begged twice in the first month and now haven’t contacted him in 2,5 months!

Is there even a change a boyfriend would come back to you it he (thinks) he’s completly over you and he (thinks) he’s falling outta love? Ever had any cases like this?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Take it as a restart.. well, it depends on how much you improved, and if you were active in posting, it also helps because he can see your improvements.. How much you can build rapport while continuing to improve yourself also..

TNT
Guest

Probably explained that wrong:
I begged twice in the first month and now haven’t contacted him in 2,5 months!

Is there even a change a boyfriend would come back to you it he (thinks) he’s completly over you and he (thinks) he’s falling outta love? Ever had any cases like this?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Take it as a restart.. well, it depends on how much you improved, and if you were active in posting, it also helps because he can see your improvements.. How much you can build rapport while continuing to improve yourself also..

irene
Guest
Hi Chris I have to say a big thank you to you and your entire team for providing such psychological helps. Thanks to you all i got my ex back. I didn’t tried anything. I just went into a complete no contact even though the nc was too late. It took 10 months of nc to get him back. He dumped me 2 times before but now He admitted sorry For real. I still love him like before and i have also said yes but I’m afraid what if he breaks up again for no reason? I don’t want to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Irene,

check this one:
Keeping Him Once You Get Him Back

irene
Guest
Hi Chris I have to say a big thank you to you and your entire team for providing such psychological helps. Thanks to you all i got my ex back. I didn’t tried anything. I just went into a complete no contact even though the nc was too late. It took 10 months of nc to get him back. He dumped me 2 times before but now He admitted sorry For real. I still love him like before and i have also said yes but I’m afraid what if he breaks up again for no reason? I don’t want to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Irene,

check this one:
Keeping Him Once You Get Him Back

Despacito
Guest
Hi ! My ex broke up with me 5 months ago..he said he doesnt feel the same and that o deserve better(we lived together). He really is going through a time in his life where he is just thinking about what he wants to do for a living and about his own problems(he might go to a jail).For 5 months i was still there for him..after the start when i beged and cried i was now normal..i never called him or texted him..it was always him asking me to get coffe and sending text where he called me by my… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

hi Despacito,

it’s not yet too late.. you can still do nc

Despacito
Guest
Hi ! My ex broke up with me 5 months ago..he said he doesnt feel the same and that o deserve better(we lived together). He really is going through a time in his life where he is just thinking about what he wants to do for a living and about his own problems(he might go to a jail).For 5 months i was still there for him..after the start when i beged and cried i was now normal..i never called him or texted him..it was always him asking me to get coffe and sending text where he called me by my… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

hi Despacito,

it’s not yet too late.. you can still do nc

Lynn
Guest
I have written in another post last week. My ex boyfriend broke up with me four months ago. After a while talking sometimes, I decided to go NC because he was very distant and that was hurting me. After those weeks we start talking again like friends, from time to time and about books, movies, tv… Sometimes he sent me things saying “it made me think about you”. We usually to have short conversations, once a week or so. I miss the times we texted each other all day long). He is very stubborn and said that he is not… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s good that your positive on texts.. you have to be active in posting in your account too..because you have to show that you have a life.. and that you’re just being friendly because he can see that you’re moving on through your posts.. he wouldn’t want to meet if he thinks you’re trying to work your way back together

Lynn
Guest
Thanks Amor, thanks a lot. Luckily I’be always had a real good social life which didn’t stop after the break-up and he knows it. I`ve been thinking about telling him something, asking for his advice (there are things in my life that only he and one of two of my closest friends know about and he knows that), just for re-building the trust: since I can force him to telling me things like before, I could give that step, just once (because my goal is he perceiving me as a happy and positive person, the side I am trying to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yup, that’s a good move.. it’s ok to ask for help from him.

Lynn
Guest
Thank you a lot again Amor. I think that today I’m gooing to send him a message telling him that this weekend I’m gooing to watch our favorite tv show (he told me two weeks ago that if I did it, I could tell him and we could watch one “together, by distance, texting. It is something we used to do when we where dating) and that if he wants we could do what he suggested. Light and fun. I don’t think that he will do it but if yes, well, is something, he would spend at least 30 minutes… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome..I hope it works too!

TNT
Guest

Boyfriend told me he is 100% over me and 100% outta love. He told me this Friday. We’ve been broken up 3 months, I’ve been in NC for 3 months, begged twice in thise 3 months. (I really needed 3 months to heal, we’ve been dating for 5 years.) The break-up was friendly.

Is there even a change a boyfriend would come back to you it he (thinks) he’s completly over you and he (thinks) he’s falling outta love? Ever had any cases like this?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s not a no contact period if you talked to him..especially if you begged

Lynn
Guest
I have written in another post last week. My ex boyfriend broke up with me four months ago. After a while talking sometimes, I decided to go NC because he was very distant and that was hurting me. After those weeks we start talking again like friends, from time to time and about books, movies, tv… Sometimes he sent me things saying “it made me think about you”. We usually to have short conversations, once a week or so. I miss the times we texted each other all day long). He is very stubborn and said that he is not… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s good that your positive on texts.. you have to be active in posting in your account too..because you have to show that you have a life.. and that you’re just being friendly because he can see that you’re moving on through your posts.. he wouldn’t want to meet if he thinks you’re trying to work your way back together

Lynn
Guest
Thanks Amor, thanks a lot. Luckily I’be always had a real good social life which didn’t stop after the break-up and he knows it. I`ve been thinking about telling him something, asking for his advice (there are things in my life that only he and one of two of my closest friends know about and he knows that), just for re-building the trust: since I can force him to telling me things like before, I could give that step, just once (because my goal is he perceiving me as a happy and positive person, the side I am trying to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yup, that’s a good move.. it’s ok to ask for help from him.

Lynn
Guest
Thank you a lot again Amor. I think that today I’m gooing to send him a message telling him that this weekend I’m gooing to watch our favorite tv show (he told me two weeks ago that if I did it, I could tell him and we could watch one “together, by distance, texting. It is something we used to do when we where dating) and that if he wants we could do what he suggested. Light and fun. I don’t think that he will do it but if yes, well, is something, he would spend at least 30 minutes… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome..I hope it works too!

TNT
Guest

Boyfriend told me he is 100% over me and 100% outta love. He told me this Friday. We’ve been broken up 3 months, I’ve been in NC for 3 months, begged twice in thise 3 months. (I really needed 3 months to heal, we’ve been dating for 5 years.) The break-up was friendly.

Is there even a change a boyfriend would come back to you it he (thinks) he’s completly over you and he (thinks) he’s falling outta love? Ever had any cases like this?

TNT
Guest

Boyfriend told me he is 100% over me and 100% outta love. He told me this Friday. We’ve been broken up 3 months, I’ve been in NC for 3 months, begged twice in thise 3 months. (I really needed 3 months to heal, we’ve been dating for 5 years.) The break-up was friendly.

Is there even a change a boyfriend would come back to you it he (thinks) he’s completly over you and he (thinks) he’s falling outta love? Ever had any cases like this?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s not a no contact period if you talked to him..especially if you begged

Astrid
Guest

What if you betrayed their trust by telling something they told you in confidence and they found out and never want to see you again?

Based on these numbers my situation sounds hopeless.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

he’s just emotional..are you in nc now/