You always hear me talking about “The No Contact Rule” and how great it is.
Heck, I’ve written close to twenty articles covering it throughout the history of this website.
I’ve even done my own independent studies where I have looked through my individual success stories helping women get back with their exes and determined if the no contact rule was a major factor in that success.
Hint Hint: It is as I found that over 70% of my successes have utilized the no contact rule in some way, shape or form.
But you want to know the one thing I have never done before?
I have never compiled those success stories in one place and dissected them for you.
Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner.
I guess I am going to have to give credit to the women who are a part of my private support group who are constantly yearning for proof.
You see, they want to see the no contact rule work more than anyone as most of them are literally in the middle of one as we speak. To them it’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have always felt that my big claim to fame as a breakup consultant is the fact that I think I have more success stories out there than anyone.
And today I am going to prove it by showing them to you!
The No Contact Rule Success Story #1: Anna
Some of the more well read readers of this article may recognize the name “Anna.”
Well, that’s because I have her success story posted throughout the site.
But I suppose you want the proof, eh?
So, let’s get to the fun part and dissect this situation for a second.
My wife Jennifer and I helped Anna out a lot (not that she needed it she’s a total badass.)
Breakdown of Her Situation
- She was in a long distance relationship
- She was engaged to her ex
- She was in the middle of NC
- The was something VERY important she needed to get at her exes house
And that’s where our story is going to pick up.
You see, I learned a long time ago that there are certain circumstances where it’s ok to break the no contact rule quickly if you have important items that you need to retrieve from your ex.
That was the case for Anna so she was allowed to break the no contact rule.
What I wasn’t counting on was that it was during this interaction of getting her items back from her ex that she got him to ask her to be back.
Here Is My Hypothesis On Why The No Contact Rule Worked
We know that she was in the middle of the no contact rule (17 days to be exact) when she was forced to get her things back from her exes place. Now, while Anna was totally freaking out about it her ex was probably doing the same thing.
17 days of silence is a long time for a man and while he hadn’t reached out to her. I am betting it was some type of ploy on his part to see if she’d reach out to first.
As every day passed and she didn’t reach out he became more and more agitated, slowly realizing just how much he missed her.
It all came to a boiling point when Anna had to get her things from him.
Seeing her was probably just too much and he had to have her back.
Now, Anna deserves all the credit for her killer strategy of seeing her ex in person (again, watch that interview) but I think the no contact rule definitely enhanced it because it worked him up and made him realize just what he had lost.
No Contact Rule Success Story #2: A Random Girl From Our Support Group
So, while success story #1 was about a woman who got her ex back I’d like to switch things up a bit and talk about some of the amazing things that the no contact rule can make men do.
So, here is the lowdown on this situation.
This woman was in the middle of the no contact rule when she heard her doorbell ring.
She went to see who it was she was greeted to a flower delivery man with a note from her ex.
Remember, she is in the middle of the no contact rule and he asked her on a date!
So, what do we think happened here?
My Hypothesis For Why The No Contact Rule Worked
The “NC” has a funny way of bringing out what we are really feeling.
But here is the funny thing.
Women often take a short sighted view on this.
They fail to realize that the no contact rule isn’t only affecting them, it’s affecting their exes as well even if it doesn’t seem like it is.
I’ll give you an example.
Women will often ask me,
Chris, what if he doesn’t contact me during the no contact rule? Does it mean that it’s not working?
I can’t tell you how many success stories I have come across where this has happened (look at no contact rule success story #1.) Usually all it means is that your ex is one stubborn SOB and he has resided himself to making you be the one to contact him first.
But I am getting off topic here.
In this particular circumstance this woman used the no contact rule on her ex and if affected him so much that he felt the need to send her flowers and ask her on a date.
Now, was it only because of the no contact rule that he did this?
No, I think it would be arrogant of me to say that.
Instead, I think it’s a testament to how great this particular woman’s relationship with him was. It was so good that it made it easy for him to miss her and he took action to win her back.
No Contact Rule Success Story #3: The Never Initiated Girl
Now, I don’t want you to be reading this and get a big head that this is a typical result because it’s not.
However, every once in a while we get a pretty awesome NC success story like this,
So, this one is pretty straight forward.
When it comes to the no contact rule I usually recommend three different time frames.
- The 21 Day Rule
- The 30 Day Rule
- The 45 Day Rule
Now, to be perfectly honest with you I can’t remember exactly which no contact rule time frame that this particular girl chose but one thing is for sure.
Even after her no contact rule time frame was up she didn’t initiate a conversation with him at all.
She simply waited and he came to her and asked for her back.
In other words, the only actual strategy she tried that I recommended was the no contact rule. Therefore we can assume that the no contact rule played a huge factor into her success.
My Hypothesis For Why The No Contact Rule Worked For Her
Are you beginning to see a common theme among our success stories?
It seems like a lot of the men who come back to their exes as a result of the no contact rule begin missing them in an extreme way.
And if I were a betting man that is what I would say happened here.
It’s a case of a man being left alone with his own thoughts for a long time and coming to the realization of what he lost.
No Contact Rule Success Story #4: Jessy
Jesse has a really interesting story in the fact that SHE was the one who broke up with her ex.
You see, Jesse had been married before and thought that she was ready for the next step with her boyfriend at the time and believe it or not he agreed. However, she asked him to go to couples counseling with her so they could make sure they resolve any issues they had before they entered into a life long commitment.
Well, as I am sure you can imagine that didn’t go over too well with her boyfriend and he broke up with her.
That’s when Jesse found Ex Boyfriend Recovery and well, just watch.
If you want to learn more about her situation without watching the whole video I recommend you read the post I wrote on her here.
But here is the quick cliff notes version.
- Jessy did the 30 day no contact rule
- Even though it went against what she thought was right she decided to reach out to him first
- He told her immediately that he was glad she reached out.
- He missed her so much
- Blah, blah, blah
- Now they are married!
Like I said, read the article I wrote on them!
Why The No Contact Rule Worked On Jessy’s Ex
I have a lot of data on this particular success story as it relates to the no contact rule since I did an hour long interview with Jessy and got to hear exactly what her ex said to her after she reached out to him post NC.
This is a quote from our interview,
So, I later learned that in his mind he was like, “Fine, if she’s not going to contact me, as much as my heart is hurting, I refuse to contact her.”
So, what we have here is a stubborn ex who put his foot down and decided to not contact her during the no contact period no matter what.
But what is interesting is what he did once she contacted him.
It’s almost as if instantaneously he switched gears and went from the “I’m not going to contact her” mentality to the “I miss you so much” mentality.
Again, our common theme comes up!
No Contact Rule Success Story #5: Jellybean!
And for our last no contact rule success story of the day I thought we would do something fun and go “old school” by picking one of the comment success stories from the old version of our website.
I’d like to introduce you to Jellybean,
Jellybean is actually one of my favorite success stories to quote for a couple of reasons,
Firstly, it shows how capable my team is at helping you guys when I can’t.
Secondly, who can say no to someone named Jellybean?
Alright, so here is the breakdown of her situation.
After the breakup with her ex boyfriend Jellybean did what most women tend to do.
She went crazy trying to beg and plead for her ex back. However, eventually she came to her senses and decided to implement the no contact rule. Once she did that and really spent her time focusing on making sure she was doing it properly she started to see some success.
Eventually her ex asked for her back and they lived happily ever after!
Actually I haven’t heard from Jellybean in two years so I am assuming they are still together.
How can I make that assumption?
Well, usually if people have a positive experience on this website they will visit it again once they go through another breakup.
Anyways, Why Did The No Contact Rule Work For Jellybean?
I think the important thing to note here is the fact that Jellybean did not follow the EBR breakup protocol of immediately jumping into the no contact rule.
Instead, she did what most women do unfortunately.
She basically did everything she wasn’t supposed to do.
Now, by doing that her ex boyfriend started to make certain assumptions about her.
Assumption #1 = She misses me more than I miss her
Assumption #2 = She is a little over emotional
Assumption #3 = I am winning the breakup
Now, I may not know much (lie) but one thing I do know is that men often don’t take their ex girlfriend back when they make these assumptions.
But Jellybean did a really smart thing.
She got really serious about the no contact rule and jumped right into it and slowly but surely his assumptions started getting replaced with these,
New Assumption = Maybe she doesn’t miss me as much as I thought…
New Assumption = Maybe she isn’t as over emotional as I thought…
New Assumption = I am losing this breakup…
And I think we all know what happens to a man once he has these assumptions.