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369 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant”

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    January 1, 2020 at 7:07 pm

    My ex bf of 9 months (we were friends for about a year before) got me pregnant. This wasn’t something I wanted and really not something he wanted. But for the first two months he told me he was excited and he will be there for us no matter what. Then when he told his mom and she also had a meltdown he changed his tune. Demanding me to get an abortion. I told him I can’t do it because at this point I was already close to the second trimester and the baby was developed enough that I couldn’t live with myself. He broke up with me and two days later we got back together. He was so happy telling me how much he missed me, then out of no where he was back to the get an abortion or I’m leaving. He ignored me for two days so I suggested we meet up so we could just end things cause I was tired of being left hanging. He once again suggested the abortion, saying he doesn’t love me anymore. I refused and he left and I think it’s for good. He’s deleted me off of all social media and I haven’t heard from him since. It’s been about a week which is the longest we’ve gone without talking. What should I do? The logical side of me thinks I should move on but the pregnant and hormonal side of me wants the father in our lives. What should I do? As far as I know he hasn’t started dating anyone else and spends all his free time playing Xbox

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 4:41 am

      Hi Jess, so the fact he was happy at first, and then his mother has voiced her views it shows that he is being influenced. You have not mentioned how old you both are, but it sounds like the mother is in control of this situation not you guys. You decided you are keeping the baby, that is your choice, it is his choice if he wants to be involved when baby arrives I guess. For now I would No Contact him and make sure you are preparing yourself for the baby to arrive as it is going to be quite an adjustment if this is your first child. When baby is here, you may find the mother changes her mind. It is a scary moment finding out you are going to be a parent, I am assuming this is the first time for you both

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    December 7, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    Hello Chris and Team!
    I need your help again, I recently tried the ex boyfriend recovery about a year or two ago my now ex boyfriend again.
    We have been together on and off for 9 years.
    I broke up with him in March 2019 due to feeling like the relationship was pointless and we weren’t on the same page. I felt like I was wasting more time and it was best to go out separate ways. It was amicable. It didn’t end ugly, I wasn’t an emotional wreck either, I felt like I came to terms with it. Although we broke up I was still living with him, due to the circumstances he let me stay with him for a few months until I could figure out my living situation. We were not intimate at all, we were like good friends/roommates. Then one night we were just at home watching movies and having a few drinks, well we ended up getting drunk and we slept together June 1st to be exact. (I wasn’t on birth control since Feb).
    I moved out of his place June 20th. We had no contact when I left, It felt completely over and done. I was still fine with it, not emotional about it.
    July 3rd, I find out I am pregnant. Calculating I w)as 6 weeks at the time.
    I contacted him on July 5th and asked if I can come by I had some stuff I had left at his place, (I really did). I wanted to tell him the news in person. He said okay, that Saturday 6th was fine. He seemed happy to hear from me. I go by that Saturday and instead of going into his place, he comes out all dressed up nicely and happy, asked me if I wanted to go eat. I was caught off guard by that and said okay that’s fine, break the ice afterwards and tell him the news. We had a great time, laughing etc. Felt like we never broke up, very natural.
    I saw in his phone that changed my contact name from Nicole to ” The One I Love”
    I was shocked to see that.
    So after eating we went to his place, I got my stuff and told him I needed to tell him something. I told him I was pregnant, showed in the 4 tests I took, all confirming it.
    He was shocked. He wasn’t mad.
    He said he will support me in whatever decision I make, its my choice.
    He had tears in his eyes.
    I told him I don’t expect us to get back together due the fact that I’m pregnant.
    I don’t expect him to marry me either. I just want him to know.
    I said if we aren’t together I am fine with it, I just want us to be civil with each other and not let it get ugly. He agreed! There is not reason for us not get along. It’s not about us.
    He hugged me. (First kid for the both of us)
    He then gave me money to go see the doctor to find out how far along I was exactly and decide what I wanted to do. He never pressured me.
    I had finally decide August 17, that I was going to have the baby, I told him my decision and he said okay. He then told him family the news. He seemed happy about it.
    He said he is shocked about this but happy. He couldn’t imagine having a baby with anyone else, he loved me.
    We then start seeing each other, making it work. BF/GF again.
    It felt different this time, we go along better than ever. We didn’t argue.
    He came to my appts, bought me whatever I needed, maternity cloths, food etc…
    Things were great for 4-5 months. He was even talking about marriage…
    A few days ago, I told him my family wants to meet his before I have the baby shower in January. (Due date February 2020) I am currently 7 months pregnant.
    He said okay, set something up.
    I then told him I would like for him to start making an effort around my family, come around more since we are going to be having a baby. I told him this before and he said okay. I mentioned it again due to my family asking me and it being the holidays.
    Later that night, he called, I missed it. (We are not living together)
    He send me this LONG text, bring up our past issues of 9 years. Saying he’s does not exist to please me, my family or his. He’s tired of being unhappy. He’s DUN.
    My response, Then go be happy. Go find someone who can make you happy since I don’t. He said, Okay.
    Then he says, I don’t have to answer to you, I can do what I want.
    This isn’t about Us its about him (We are having a boy).
    I would starve to make sure you and him are taken care of and you both have what you need.
    I said, I never said you wouldn’t provide or be there or him.
    I just want you to be part of his life and not just financially.
    My pregnancy hormones kicked in after that, I felt betrayed and more time wasted.
    Deep down I always had it back in my mind that I would leave me again.
    We have always been on and off for 9 years. One minute he wants me and loves me and the next he no longer is happy and wanted to break up for months. Hot and Cold.
    I told him that I felt like he just wasted months of my time. If this how he felt of being unhappy with me, why did he get back with me. I never expected to get back together. I made it very clear. I told him he didn’t know what the hell he wants.
    I told him he didn’t love me the way he claimed. I requested something from him so simple and he refused to do it. 9 years of this on and off I have went over and beyond for him because I love him and he couldn’t do the same for me.
    I did text a few of my thoughts for two days after that. I told him I can’t keep doing this on and off bullshit, back and forth. I was done and we were never going to get back together. He never answered my texts. I haven’t texted or called him since. It’s been 3 days since.
    I am not sure if I want him back.
    I do feel hurt and alone.
    This was totally out of nowhere. I thought everything was fine between us. Never expected this. I was wrong.
    I need words of wisdom…


    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 9, 2019 at 4:55 pm

      Hi Nicole, so you have to do a limited no contact and focus on yourself and preparing for the babies birth. To me it sounds like he has finally been hit with the reality of what is going to happen and the changes that need to be made next which is the baby and the responsibility that comes with it. So if you’re not sure you want him back then I suggest you do limtied no contact until you are less hurt and know if you want to be with him or not. If you do want him back then you need to implement this program, and if you dont then you need to work to be able to co parent positively with him

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    December 5, 2019 at 2:46 pm

    My boyfriend of 3 years recently dumped me and made me move out of our house. I am 25 weeks pregnant and cat eat or sleep or do anything. He said it was due to us arguing all the time and he doesn’t want to raise our daughter around that but 90% of our fights were because i had a gut feeling he wasn’t being faithful. Hes been stressed over money but never asked me for help but now everything is my fault. I found out he was at some girls house for a couple nights (which he denies but I have proof) and now he’s seeing ANOTHER girl. Says it just happened and it’s going really good. He says he wants to be in his daughters life but hasn’t came to an appt since we broke up. I’m trying to be civil with him but it’s really hard. He’s moving out of our house too I guess and back with his parents. He’s been with this new girl every night and even at the bar. I had a good relationship with his parents and now I feel like they’re supporting his decisions. I don’t understand how he can move on so quickly after being with me for 3 years, having a house, and about to have a baby. Plus he bought me an engagement ring and was planning on asking me to marry him. I am just so hurt I can’t get over it. I feel replaced and worthless that he can put in so much effort to another girl that he didn’t to me.

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    December 1, 2019 at 5:49 pm

    I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with my ex’s baby. We broke up about 2 months ago before I knew I was pregnant and the worst part is, I broke up with him all because of a huge fight, which I immediately regretted. About 2 weeks after the brake up was when I found out I was pregnant and told him. He was scared and still mad about the brake up and told me he wanted me to get an abortion. I gave him about 2 weeks then we went to dinner to talk. I told him I wasn’t getting an abortion and he told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby so of course I was heartbroken especially since he has a daughter that he is very involved with. I took the advice of doing no contact and did that for a little over 3 weeks then texted him. We had a good conversation and talked for a couple days which gave me hope he wasn’t over me. Ever since we have seen each other twice and he continues to Snapchat me frequently but I made the mistake of sleeping with him the 2 times we saw each other but we also talked and he told me about his new job and what he has going on but he hasn’t brought up the baby at all and I’m scared to because I don’t want him to run away again. He still talks to be but it seems like he is getting more distant and I have a feeling it’s because he is scared to get close to me again. I pretty much acted like I didn’t care about braking up and moved out of our house, got a new apartment and have been doing pretty good but I want to tell him how I feel. I’m so scared of rejection and that I will push him away ever further but I know I can’t get him back if he doesn’t know how I feel. I just don’t even know how to approach it. He is extremely stubborn but the fact that he is still talking to me makes me think he’s not ready to be done and move on. On top of that, most of his family doesn’t know I’m pregnant and I don’t want to tell them because they will most definitely not be happy with him for saying he doesn’t want to be involved. I don’t know what to do. But I’m terrified I will have to relive this break up all over again and I don’t know if I can handle that. My heart wants to believe he was just mad because I broke up with him in the beginning and that’s why he said what he said and had so much resentment toward me. I think no contact helped but I don’t know what to do from here. Can you give me some advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 8:15 pm

      Hi Angela, so what you are doing is getting him to invest time in you, but you need to stop sleeping with him unless you are back together, so if you can get some meet ups sorted, plus by now you’re going to start showing you are pregnant I am sure. So that is going to be there, dont hide your pregnancy or avoid it as thats unfair to you and your baby. He has to accept that if he chooses to be in the babys life or not there is a baby coming. He needs to make that decision before the birth. I would talk to him about topics you know he would be interested in talking to you about and then from there get some more meet ups sorted, but do not have sex with him!

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    Lost for words

    November 28, 2019 at 6:00 am

    Hello I’m 23 weeks pregnant. My ex wanted a baby so we did the deed I became pregnant. Long story short everything was great until I became pregnant. We been together for 1 year & a couple of months. When I was 10 weeks pregnant he told me that he wanted a career change that would allow him to be away from home on weekends or sometimes every weekend. So I felt like basically he gave me an ultimatum of accepting his new adventures or be single, so I chose to be single because that was just a slap in the face to even consider a career change/ new adventures when he planned a baby. So I haven’t been letting him come around. Now I’m hearing he has been sleeping with another chick, when I ask him his reply is “Did she tell you we sleeping together”,….He won’t give me a straight forward answer & plus it’s just making me feel stressed. I started hanging around my family more & he reached out & told me that “A pregnant woman that hangs out is disgusting”,….It’s like he never have anything positive to say! What to do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 1, 2019 at 5:18 pm

      Hey there, can you define what you mean by hanging out with your family? Unless you are drinking, smoking, taking drugs, or doing something that will harm your baby then there is nothing wrong with you spending time with your family. By the sounds of it he expects you to spend your pregnancy alone? This other woman you need proof that there is something going on do not assume or go of hear say.

      Go into limited no contact with him for at least 30 days where you only speak to him about the baby if you need to or something important happens. It is a shame that you are not able to work through things with him having a career change that means he would be away sometimes, even though thats hard it is better than him not working. So consider if you could make it work of you were to get back with him

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    November 24, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    I am currently 8 weeks pregnant. I told my boyfriend when I was 3 and half weeks. We had the best relationship I truly did everything for him. He has always lived a distance but lately has moved a bit further but obviously we spoke about this al prior to my pregnant for 4 weeks he kept saying he needed time but defiantly wanted to be with me and loves me for the last week he’s said he no longer wants me he said the responsibility of being a dad is too much and he doesn’t want to be a family he’s promised for 5 weeks that he’d see me and has let me down it’s been constant lies and broken promises I ask what I did and he says I’m perfect he just doesn’t want this anymore and today I had my first scan and he blocked me the day before and never even said good luck a friend of mine asked why he hasn’t spoke and he said that he’s too busy. I’m heartbroken I don’t know who he is anymore and he keeps making out the distance is why he can’t be with me. I’ve done everything for this man and we was planning this baby none of it makes sense I need to try not talk to him but I honestly don’t think it will make a difference in this case seems like that’s exsactly what he wants and all I want is a cuddle i miss him so much I’ve even ended up in hospital due to being so suicidal from this break up I don’t know how it can go so down hill over something so special

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 25, 2019 at 5:13 pm

      Hi Carissa, I am so sorry he has ended things with you and the most important thing now is you and the baby. Following the rules of No Contact with him and leave him behind you for the time being as you need to get stronger and happier over the next few weeks ready for your baby to arrive. When the baby does arrive, you will see what love you have for him/her takes over all the bad going on right now. If your ex decides he wants to be involved come the time then you can decide if its best for you to see him again due to yourself and how emotionally ready you are. If not you could come up with a plan with a trusted family member to sort contact for your ex and baby

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    November 22, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    Im currently 35 weeks pregnant and my ex of almost 4 years broke up with me when I was 7 months. Out of the blue he tells me that he doesn’t feel anything for me and that the relationship feels forced, but a couple days before the break up , he was talking about the future and that he already knows what kind of gift he was going to get me for my birthday. We broke up before and he came back so i gave him another chance. And this is what he does. I feel stupid for believing him that he really missed me and wanted things to work. A week after he broke up with me, he started talking to another girl (Who’s name i heard twice during our relationship without knowing). I feel like he wanted to cheat but didn’t want the guilt on him, so he broke up with me. He grabbed all his stuff and left. He did not even once asked me how the baby is doing. It was heart breaking and confusing when he left but i was trying to keep my head up and stay strong for the baby. I didn’t want the baby to feel my negative emotions.
    He wants to be involved in the baby’s life but not in mine. So I let him come to the doctors appointment and stuff. But he sees that I don’t pay him no freaking mind and what does he do? He tries to hurt me on purpose. He came like 4 weeks after the breakup to my house at 1:30 am to tell me that he is talking to someone for 3 weeks and that he is really interested in her and that she might become the stepmother of my baby.

    I really missed him when he broke up with me, but after he pulled this one on me. I hated him ever since. I have never felt this anger for someone. But i still try to keep my emotions under control. I told him that it was a bitch move to try to hurt me on purpose, because i did not need to know that and that i was happy for him. All i wanted to do was punch him in his face.

    So now that im 35 weeks pregnant, i’ve been having lots of cramps and this guy wants to ask me if i can move my next appointment !!! Is he stupid?

    And the thing is, is that he now posted his new girl on his social media, but never even posted me or the gender reveal. And all his friends and family are happy that he got a pretty girl.

    And although i dont wanna feel this way. I feel betrayed and allot of hate for these people as well.
    But he didn’t tell them that he broke up with me because of how he feels and wanted to do.
    He told them that we had allot of issues and that i would argue allot with him, so we BOTH decided that we should break up.

    I feel sick to my stomach that a man can leave and lie on a pregnant woman like a bitch. I don’t rven want to defend myself to them because they are all not worth my energy. I know karma will come back one way or another.

    The only thing that i want right now is for my anger to leave my body. Sometimes i just can’t control it anymore and it’s really dangerous. I just want to focus on my little baby who will be here in 4 weeks.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 24, 2019 at 12:00 am

      Hey Jess, so that is really hard because of the way he has handled the break up and lied about it too. He does not want to look like the bad guy, that is why the truth is altered to his friends and family. As for how to get rid of your anger remind yourself this is not your doing this is his. And also the fact he is already in a new relationship while you are pregnant with his child is going to make it very hard for them to work. At this point I would consider her to be a rebound and that he doesnt actually have real feelings for her as of yet, that takes much more time. You need to follow a limted no contact where you only speak to him about the baby if its something he does need to know and then when the baby arrives hopefully youll be able to rebuild your connection starting friendly and doing the being there method because of the other woman. Read as much of the materials as you can here to help you have your best chance of being happy again. The best is yet to come because that little baby will make you the happiest person on the planet I promise you that much

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    November 19, 2019 at 9:06 am

    my situation is quite different..PLEASE HELP..me(27) and my ex(29)we lived together and our relationship lasted almost 5 years..he broke up with me bc apparently he doesnt love me anymore..i still love him…thing is we continued to have sex regardless of the fact that the love isnt reciprocated…so 2 months later i end up pregnant but i didnt find out untill i missed my period a month after conception..i told him soon as i found out and of course we both felt it sucks, its not ideal but we made the choice to move back in together for the baby! Although we havent moved back in yet we are supposed to in a week..he is just now telling me that he met someone else around the time i found out about the pregnancy and he likes her they dated a bit but its nothing serious yet. he still wants us to move in together but sleep seperately and he wants to persue this new relationship while living with me IF the other woman is okay with the whole situation. He didnt tell me right away obviously when i told him im pregnant because he tried to end it with her and cut communication but she continues to persue him ..tommorow he is going to come clean to her about the whooolee situatioin and im afraid that she wont back off and i will be forced to not move in because i dont want to be in that messy situation..but at the same time we had already agreed the best thing for the baby is to raise him under the same roof…basically i do love him and want him back BUT my main worry is the baby and how involved the father is going to really be esoecially if hes going to start a new relationship eventually shes going to make him choose between herself and our baby …DO YOU THINK I CAN WIN HIM BACK WHILST LIVING WITH HIM ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 19, 2019 at 10:45 pm

      Hi Crystal if this new woman is going to make him choose between her and the baby, and he is willing to live with you just to be around the baby full time she is going to lose that ultimatum. HOWEVER getting him back during your pregnancy and living together is actually going to be difficult. You need to do something called limited no contact, and you need to show him how you are the better person out of yourself and the other woman. Doing so is going to take a lot of self control emotionally and physically. Do not sleep with him if you are not back into a committed relationship. If the other woman does not leave once he has told her about you and the baby, and continues to contact him. You need to act unphased by her

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    Seasonal moment

    October 24, 2019 at 8:09 am

    6 weeks pregnant broke up in August 14 2019 , got pregnant within the break up in September he was constantly back and forth giving mix signals , and now he says we won’t work out but will support the baby but doesn’t want to be there for me .

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 24, 2019 at 8:44 pm

      Hi SM, so you need to limit your No Contact where you only tell him things he needs to know about the baby and at this early stage there is not much to tell him. You need to make sure you work on yourself and let him feel like hes lost you and not give him sex or any intimacy at all while you are not together officially. You need to appear that you are focusing on yourself (and baby) and you dont need him for anything. Look up the Ungettable Girl articles and apply this to your life as best you can

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    Tiffany Soles

    October 18, 2019 at 4:23 am

    I have been with my ex for 7 years. We broke up back in February of this year and since the breakup we have kept in touch here and there. We limited contact but I just couldn’t stay away and now im 16 weeks pregnant with his child. He says we were never really apart and that he cant jump into a relationship with me solely because I am pregnant. I still love him but I want my complete family. He says that I am pushing it too much and that this relationship just cannot work. Should I try the no contact rule?
    I still love him very much and I feel so vulnerable and alone and I’ve tried talking to him and telling him how I feel but nothing works.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 20, 2019 at 9:12 pm

      Hi Tiffany, congratulations on your pregnancy and yes you two need some time apart for him to realise he wants to be with you so complete a limited nc where you only reach out if its about the baby and its well being. FOR NOW then after 30 days you can start talking again and see where you are both at by then

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    Betty Walker

    August 27, 2019 at 11:07 am

    I want to offer a bit of advice to everyone searching for marriage/relationship help. Me and my husband had a rough time for a decade; all our family & friends constantly advising us to get a divorce but we knew it would break our children’s heart. We tried so many different things to save our marriage and from trial & error we came across a very helpful Love solution spell temple on facebook page reviews that love spell from this temple works, I contacted the spell priestess and purchased a spell to bring love and happiness in my marital home and now we are happily together like we just got married. Love solution spell temple powers are strong. My Husband became so passionate about our love and more into me… lol Just like being in my teen.

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    July 28, 2019 at 11:03 pm

    Currently 26 weeks. I started a new relationship with someone I completely fell for. He has a daughter and I have a son and daughter and I could really see a future with him. Things went very wrong after finding out I was pregnant and I broke it off. He didn’t want it and I was unsure so I booked the abortion. I couldn’t go through with it so he told me he wanted no involvement and didn’t want a child with me (even though he said he did previously, this wasn’t a planned pregnancy).
    It had no contact with him but I kept him updated usually with no reply and he never attended anything. At 20weeks he finally messaged and said he didn’t want to go to the scan but wanted to know the gender. He was happy it was a boy and wanted to be involved. He gave sob stories, kept apologising ect. He picked up a cot but wouldn’t come over to build it, he started ghosting my messages again. He did grudgingly take me to hospital when I thought my waters were leaking and let me know how much of an inconvenience it was to him. Constantly on his phone through the whole hospital visit. After I got the all clear, when mentioned I had a random appointment a few days previous with my midwife (he lives opposite my GP) I was going to invite him in as his car was parked outside his house on a work day, turns out he’s started dating someone and said he wouldn’t have come because he was with her. This broke my heart massively. I feel so betrayed all over again. I do still have strong feelings for him. I gave him space, I kept him in the know regardless that he said he wanted no involvement and he never asks for info/updates. I really don’t know how to move on from it all. To top it all off this woman is still married. He has prioritied a married woman over his child and yet I still have strong feeling for him. I never wanted us to end but the way he acted and continues to act is just breaking my heart. I’ve now blocked and deleted his number. It’s been almost 2 weeks until that day and I told him last week I didn’t want him involved, he hasn’t even said anything back so I don’t think he cares.

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    July 27, 2019 at 9:06 pm

    Hello, I have been with my boyfriend touching 2 years and I am 3 months pregnant. (Lived together) initially he was calm and said we will have an abortion but as it lead to that it was something I realised I didn’t want to go so I decided to keep it. [we was going backwards and forward for 2 months trying to make a decision. Long story short we have moved back to our parents home and he hates me because I decided to keep the baby. And doesn’t want to be involved. It breaks my heart because I really love him and he said he loves and misses me but can’t be together. Is there any hope for he NC to work?

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    July 12, 2019 at 2:04 pm

    Hi, I’m 33 weeks pregnant & my boyfriend broke up with me last Tuesday. I have been heartbroken and truly shocked. He did not act like he has no connection before with his behavior, but says we should think about co-parenting. There’s ultrasound this Tuesday & he even mentioned some people lash out & get mad when they are hurt so he didn’t know if I wanted him in the delivery room anymore etc… he’s never been married, never had kids, he’s 40, a new chiropractor very charismatic, selfish, and I literally got pregnant on our 2nd date. I fell for him & his family is super excited about the baby. He has no idea what he is in for, his dad passed away with cancer, said he does not get emotionally attached to people hates this character flaw he has. His Perspective on some things I’ve noticed is very cold. I’m extremely sad he dumped me. I’m due in only a few weeks & don’t know how I’m going to do this exactly. He’s talking about taking & helping with the baby later after I’m done nursing, which makes me totally sad. My mom is going to have a talk with him about not backing out of his responsibility, I think his mind is made up. It will crush me even more to see him with someone else. I don’t think there’s anything I can do so I’m a single mom, again. Everything I didn’t want but I have no choice. At the first break up, I poured my heart out & told him things he didn’t hear before so now he knows how I feel & he’s gone. I think he has made his mind up, but when his son is born, hopefully his emotional coldness will change. I even named his son after his dad because that was important to him. I think he’s confused a little. I guess we all need time to grow up, just hurts really bad to be this far along pregnant & dumped so I found this page. It was a good read but I don’t know if there’s hope for me. I am torn between having hope and giving up. Totally Crushed, everything was as good as it gets for me but he felt no connection. That really sucks to hear and left me sick for days.

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    July 1, 2019 at 12:03 am

    I broke up with my gf while she was pregnant. I had figured out she was cheating on me prior to the pregnancy and I realized I would never be able to trust her. Fast forward to now, we are still not together a year later as I saw the cheating as something I couldn’t see past but I see my child nearly every day. I believe this is a circumstance in which the man leaving is not totally in the wrong. The baby will be forever loved by both of us and our families but I believe it’s not right for a man to stay with a woman that was unfaithful just because she’s pregnant.

  16. Chris Seiter

    Chris Seiter

    June 5, 2019 at 9:51 pm

    Hi Siob’s….so I think No Contact is the right move, but your focus should be on your ongoing emotional/physical health and recovery. Later you will have time to reassess whether you want him in your life.

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    February 13, 2019 at 11:01 am

    I have been going through a rough time with my now ex for a couple weeks he just said he needed time and space and that he would maybe want to work on things. At other times he has told me he is done and he was going to move out and he has no feelings left for me. I discovered I was pregnant and told him. Nothing has changed for him emotionally but he said he will stay as I can’t afford our house. alone. I’ve realized that he does need time and space and begging or rationalizing won’t change his mind. How do I give him this space while he is still living with me? Are my odds better bc he hasn’t left and wants to be there for this child?

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    February 4, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    It’s been a month since I broke up with him, I am 7 months pregnant. I was jealous, and now I don’t know if he has someone or no, he said he didn’t have but kinda seems like he has. A lot of fighting happened after a break up too, a was so desperate and needy. He said he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, don’t even text him if it’s not about the baby, but sometimes he act like he care… he says he feel so much pain about us, he wanted to be a family so bad, I know that. He also said he will contact me, when he feels the time is right. I am so confused.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 4, 2019 at 5:16 pm

      Hi Elisa! I see you have a lot going on in your life. What is most important is you physical and emotional health going forward. Yes, guys can be confusing. It could be all of what is going on is too much for him to process and he is some mode of avoidance or denial. Have you considered NC. Are you following my eBook/Program guidelines? Remember, its your personal recovery and healing that is most important right now.

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    December 1, 2018 at 2:52 am

    Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years and have a 2.5 year old daughter together.
    I used your system back in February to get my ex boyfriend back. We had a horrible break up in late January and I was for sure he would never come back. I did everything you said and in 6 weeks he was back and better than ever. Fast forward to the present, we basically planned baby number two and we’re both excited. I caught him cheating with multiple women when I was 8 weeks pregnant and in the heat of the argument gave him an ultimatum, his family or the women. He chose himself. I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant and he still acts like he’s mad at me. I just started the No contact rule again yesterday and was planning on going for 45 days this time. I know I have some healing to do because if I feel guilty about someone cheating on me, I need to self evaluate. He said he does still love me and honestly I want our family back. Do you think it’s worth a shot.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 2, 2018 at 2:39 am

      Hi Amber…I love it when you said you know you have some healing to do. You do and you can and will. I get into all that in my Program.

  20. Avatar


    December 1, 2018 at 1:33 am

    Pregnant and boyfriend left two weeks ago.

    We have been friends for over two years and in the last six months we dated, he supposedly has loved me and wanted to date me all this time…or at least a good portion of it.

    I have two kids from my previous marriage (ending 5 years ago) and he has 3 from his (ended 4 years ago) neither of us wanted or planned for more kids. And I was on birth control. We had some rough issues we worked out because we see things differently, but we always managed to “talk them through in the End” (his exact words)
    I considered abortion and he said he’d support me either way, while I tried to come to a conclusion as a couple and get feedback, he always just said he’d support me. However he began “taking care of me, making sure I was good to go when I wasn’t feeling well and so on… I began to get the feeling he almost wanted me to keep it and I kind of wanted to as well. So I kept it. A week After I came to my decision he left me, Came home (he’s been living with me for over 3 months now) got his things and said “he didn’t feel he could talk to me and we shouldn’t be together”
    I was angry at first and my reaction was hurt because those were the first words out of his mouth. So I did cut him off by saying “seriously?! I can’t believe this is happening! Is it because I decided to keep the baby?!” And he said “see that’s my point you don’t let me talk” and started packing his things and left, it was emotional. He didn’t talk to me for the rest of the weekend, but Came back over Monday night, we talked, then Tuesday night he helped me change the break pads on my car and we talked again that evening and Wednesday. Thursday night on thanksgiving we talked again, I felt we were getting somewhere and he even mentioned how he could tell I was giving him his space and how he could see I legit wanted to hear what he had to say IN our relationship. I always tried to get him to talk, I do care, but at the same time how can I be for someone the way they need if they don’t communicate at times what they need? I felt he ever communicated with me and had given up and now post break up he was beginning to talk. Well Thursday night we end up cuddling and having sex, and this was after four straight evening of talking about our relationship and seeming to have talked through things.
    Friday he treated me like a “boyfriend” making sure I got hone, checking in with me at work, and even apologizing that his reply was delayed due to being so busy at work. Then, Saturday he had had plans to go see his friends over the weekend, so I let it go thinking he needed his space and he’d already made plans. I felt we were in a good place and I wasn’t needing immediate attention and our relationship was working itself out. But I heard nothing over the weekend. By Monday evening I was confused and questioning if we were in no contact zone now and simply exes, I didn’t want to think he was using me Thursday night cause we’ve always were friends prior to dating and I don’t like thinking negatively of him, I’ve tried to understand. Then Monday I got a little worked up and simply asked “so I’m confused, are you ignoring me now?”
    He apologized and said he’d come home late from his weekend, had fallen asleep and was slammed all Monday at work (he’s a UPS drive and the holidays have made for longer days) I was kind of hurt being put on the shelf all weekend and so I simply replied I was wanting to get in contact with him. The next day he asked “is everything okay”
    I was too hurt by then and never bothered replying.
    Again I’m pregnant, I’m high risk too, even had something been wrong the night before he didn’t bother to respond until the next day after not reaching out the whole weekend, i kind of felt like it was pointless to matter to him since I clearly don’t.
    That response was Tuesday. Then Wednesday afternoon (next day) I texted him a simple head’s up on my ultrasound date which he’d voiced he’d wanted to know. He replied saying thank you and asking for directions to the place. I sent him the address and that was it.

    I am so confused. Is it time to let him go, or keep trying to get him to talk to me, I felt we were at %90 a good place after our talks last week and his treatment of me (even before the sex – which I figure now was a mistake) but it felt like it was going in a good direction.
    Now he’s MIA and I guess we are going strangers/ex’a route?
    Do I just simply enforce the no contact rule on my own? Our last good conversation Thursday night he told me he appreciated me giving him his space and he knows we need to talk and how he’s written everything down and just needed time to clear his head, but now it feels he’s running. I don’t know what to do, and it’s now Friday – as in 8 days later. I haven’t officially even seen him for over a week now (last night)
    I don’t know what to do.
    And if I enforce no contact now, should I change my appointment time and not let him know? Or just wing it and see if he shows up?
    Last Thursday he was going to pick me up and we were going to go together, from what I understood in his text, he’s now wanting the address and is meeting me there? I don’t even know what to think anymore. I’m scared to ask or pressure him cause it’s like he shuts down more everytime I have or i feel i steer the conversations. While I love and miss him and want what we had back, I don’t want to talk him Into being with me. I don’t want to control the outcome of the conversation either. Despite our good conversations last week ( no fighting, hearing each other out, letting the other talk and truly having good conversation) it seemed to just give him more to think about. I don’t want to lose him but am willing to if he feels he’d rather be single and doesn’t even miss me. The silent treatment now certainly makes me feel he doesn’t. Please help me. I’m 12 weeks tomorrow and now I don’t even know how to approach this pregnancy? Completely alone mindset? And if so, while he has a right to be there as the father, i almost am afraid if we are broke up his presence at the appointments will be more stressful than helpful. I need direction.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 2, 2018 at 2:53 am

      Hi JD12!

      So I see heck of a lot is going on and really don’t feel I do you justice with my short reply….which I will offer up here in bit…but consider picking up my 485 page Flagship product, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as you can get a lot more “me” in my ebook than you can here! I would advise against changing your appointment time as that is important.

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