How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Speak To You- Get Him Talking Again

1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”

Katie

September 26, 2017 at 12:10 am

Hi,
My boyfriend and I broke up last week. We were together for 6 months and lived together for 4 months. Last week he packed all his things and told me he didn’t want it to be the same relationship that he had with his ex. This week he unblocked my number and said he wants some time for himself so that he can see if he wants a future together. He said I can text him whenever, but I don’t know if I should text him all the time or ask him to meet in person. Or I shouldn’t do anything of the above and let him reach out to me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2017 at 8:53 pm

HI Katie,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Lauren

September 25, 2017 at 4:10 am

Hey!
So I have this male friend who had a crush on me for pretty much the whole year, I then moved on to college. He pretty much stopped talking to me in May and I kinda texted him a little bit in and out but never got a reply until around August when he said he didn’t want to be friends anymore. It never was ugly and I’ve noticed that he hasn’t locked me on anything. Should I try the NCR and then I have a confession or what do you recommend? I love him and am willing to do anything to get him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 27, 2017 at 4:41 pm

Hi Lauren,

don’t confess yet.. Try the ncr and slowly rebuild rapport after instead.

MuchLess

September 25, 2017 at 1:44 am

Hi. My ex broke up with me after almost 3 years of relationship. At first I started blaming myself for every single thing I made. I’ve been clingy and super needy, of course. But I became like that because he really didn’t seem to care that much for me. I made all of the efforts for starting this relationship, until at some point he just said ”I’ve decided, we are together” so I do strongly believe he started growing feelings for me because he never really had anyone loving him that much. I moved from the other side of the world for him, just to give an example of how complicated my situation is.
So he would come back home from work and play videogames all day, sometimes he would hang out with his friend and come back drunk after 6 hours saying ”I couldn’t text cause they don’t have wifi”. Once I came back to my hometown and he left me, after 3 or 4 months of relationship? saying ”I want to do what I won’t be able to do once I am older” you know what I mean, be free, completely free. He apologized like crazy the day after and we got back together but this time he was serious. We lived together for one year and as soon as I came back here for my usual little trip he left me out of the blue. I have felt so hurt but also feel like I’ve never been hurting my dignity like this before. I basically was a little closet to him in his house. He would never get me gifts, take me out or start something on his own. So of course I became super clingy, because I started to feel super insecure about myself.
I really want him back and I know that he himself is a narcissist who loves to control any little thing, talk about himself and secretly make sure I am still there for him. He is very manipulative and exactly knows how to make me feel like dying is better than living. I know it sounds desperate but I am really starting to grow my confidence back.
We’ve had super good moments too of course, but if I had to describe our relationship, I would just say that I’ve always been the one making efforts to build good memories. What shall I do? we broke up one month ago.
I begged for the first week cause I was feeling horrible, then found your website and started feeling better with myself but still didn’t get to apply the NCR, which I really want to do now, but it’s gonna be hard because I’ll see him soon and we are ”supposed” to live in the same house. I need to get back because my life is there by now.
We talk sometimes, I am always the one who is interested honestly. And I know from some coworkers that he’s also been trying to flirt with a friend of mine who of course rejected him because knows about the whole situation. Last time we talked was 3 hours ago where I said I am completely ok with the break up because I was not feeling comfortable with our relationship, but I feel kind of guilty because I said I hope we get to solve our issues someday.
I know he cares for me, because sometimes, really rarely, he would have sweet moments where he would open up to me, but he is extremely proud and I am really scared that even if he ends up wanting me back, he won’t make the first move. I tried to talk about our relationship saying I love and miss him, he responded he does too but doesn’t want to deal with anything right now. And keeps ignoring me most of the time.
I am 21, he is 24.
I really hope you can help me because this situation is really threatening my sanity. Plus my family knows about it and are trying their best to hold me back and make me stay here, in my hometown, attacking me, saying I am weak and I believe in who shouldn’t be trusted. (they don’t even know him that well)

thank you!!! you have a good night

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2017 at 8:07 pm

HI Muchless,

check this one:
How to Tell if Your Ex-Boyfriend is a Narcissist

and this one:
Stage 5 Clinger – Getting A Boyfriend Back If You Were Too Clingy

Lauren

September 24, 2017 at 2:57 am

Hey!
I read your page and I was just wondering so a guy who liked me was really upset when I started dating a different guy and he hasn’t really spoken to me since May, I however did keep texting him(not obsessive) so I haven’t tried the NCR yet. Do you think he will become responsive if I wait awhile or it’s pretty much done. I really like him a lot and we were so close and I’d do anything to get him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 27, 2017 at 4:41 pm

Hi Lauren,

don’t confess yet.. Try the ncr and slowly rebuild rapport after instead.

Ally

September 13, 2017 at 12:48 am

It’s almost 2weeks since we broke up and the break up was ugly. He say he pretty much move on during the relationship. He say he do not see me in his future. He seem to be moving on, or does he say cause i’ve hurt him. He say it’s because of my attitude but im willing to change to get him back. We meet everyweekend during training. So shoukd i still use the no contact ruke when i meet him? I really want him back and i kniw i hurt him alot because of my selfish, ignorant attitude. Please advice me, should i confront him? Or wait longer

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 15, 2017 at 3:48 pm

Hi ally,

Yes, do the no contact rule
Apologize first for everything and then start nc..Check this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Sasha

August 15, 2017 at 5:54 am

Hello there,

Trying to keep this short but not sure. My bf of a year and a half broke up with me just 5 days before our would-be 1.5 year anniversary. He said he was unhappy and didn’t know if our future would work from worries he had of wanting kids and me being another Christian denomination. We had spoken about it before but never truly in depth, but it was as though he believed the opposite of what I had told him. He said he started thinking about it months ago, yet he acted perfectly normal, happy, and full of love that whole time. It wasn’t until the day some of his family came in to visit that he stopped texting me. He has always been influenced by their judgemental beliefs, and didn’t want him with anyone (mother losing son to another woman). After those 5 days he showed up and just ended it all, and none of it sounded like the man I loved so much. It was rushed, sounded rehearsed, just not him. What he said was the total opposite of how he acted in the previous months. Yet he still said he saw us getting married, he loved me, and he cared about me. I believe he knows it’s not what he wants and that he panicked and acted without thinking, because a man not in love cannot put on a perfect show. The shift of 5 days leaves me suspicious, torn, and with no composure. Why would a man panic at only 1.5 years with a person? If a man still has the vision of a future in his head, how could he do it and expect that thought to disappear, the thought of me as the mother of his child? All I want is the truth and a decent conversation. I deserve that after I gave him everything. Do you think he’ll ever contact me again?

Thank you for any advice.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 15, 2017 at 11:15 pm

Hi Sasha,

Check this one:
EBR 054: My Exes Mom Made Him Break Up With Me

Wren

August 10, 2017 at 3:07 am

i know i have posted on a different article but my ex of 6 years broke up with me because he said he was unhappy. hard for me to believe since he stayed in it for so long. i found out i was pregnant after the break up and then i miscarried. i didn’t tell him until after the fact because i was unsure of what he might say or do. i did some things that i’m not proud of. i incessantly called and texted him, drunk called him, and showed up at his house unannounced and uninvited to give him stuff back. he has blocked my number again and will not unblock me. i haven’t spoken with him in over 2 months. i wrote him a letter about a month and a half ago saying something about the pregnancy and miscarriage but i am not sure if he even read the letter, so i didn’t get a response. then i messaged him two weeks saying that i was sorry for my behavior and that i would like to talk before i move. then i messaged him last week saying that i’d like to talk again and give him some things of his back, again no response. i have been messaging him on social media since he has blocked my number. i know that i haven’t acted right but he hasn’t either and i want a chance at reconciliation. i messaged him a few days ago saying that i would like to give him his things back and that i would like some closure and would like to discuss the pregnancy and miscarriage. but he won’t even acknowledge me and i just don’t think he is being fair. he says that he knows what he wants int he future but no one knows what he/she wants in the future, not even him. it’s unfair of him to say that. his demeanor changed when i got into grad school in the same place where he wanted to go to grad school and he got wait listed. he broke up with me 3 weeks after i got into grad school where he wanted to go. i want to work things out, i want him back, and i want him back now. i understand he is in medical school but a lot needs to be discussed and i feel that i shouldn’t be continuously ignored at all. it is not fair and it is not okay. all i want is to talk things out and hopefully work towards reconciliation. i just want him back so badly. help please!

Wren

August 12, 2017 at 6:26 pm

I found out that he is seeing someone else but I am not sure how serious they are. I would like a second chance at the relationship and I feel that I can’t give up yet.
Wren

August 11, 2017 at 7:08 pm

The only thing I am doing is starting a new school. I don’t think this continued ignorance is okay or fair. I’m not sure how ignoring me or my not talking to him is going to fix anything. It isn’t going to help me get him back I feel like.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 12, 2017 at 12:22 pm

if you want to talk to him.. of course you’re free to do and follow what you think is right. For us, if the couple has already made it clear that they’ve broken up, and if you want to get him back the next step is no contact so, that you wouldn’t be friendzone. If it was a bad break up, and you tried to explain things but he still didn’t listen, then it’s better to do no contact than to feed his anger. If you haven’t talked, you can send a clean slate message and explain everything to either resolve things or at least have a clean break up before starting the no contact rule. But if you feel that you need to talk to him right now, of course you can do that but that means the nc rule is broken and if you decide to do it again later on, you have to restart the count.
Wren

August 11, 2017 at 2:55 am

I just want him back. I cannot handle this continued ignorance on his part. It is truly unacceptable. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am starting a new school and he is in school but he cannot honestly think that continuously ignoring me is going to make me go away. I just want a second chance that is literally all i want.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 11, 2017 at 4:50 pm

that’s what you need to change.. the more desperate you are, the more he’s going to avoid you. Change your mindset. Be active in having your own life. Aim to have the mindset that if you don’t get him back, it will hurt but it’s ok because you respect yourself enough not to obsess over a guy.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 10, 2017 at 4:54 pm

HI Wren,

I’m not sure if you read my reply to your other post. So, I’m just going to copy my answer there.

That means you need to start a new routine in your life. Do things that has progress like volunteering, joining a short course,etc. Move on without totally moving on. Prepare your life if you don’t get him back..that doesn’t mean the hurt will go away but even though it hurts, you’re being productive.

Your actions, schedule, habits and routine are all towards growth. Mature women or ungettable women doesn’t mean they don’t get hurt. They just choose the sensible choice for themselves because they know their self and time worth because you can’t get back time.

Trying to build rapport after nc is like giving the ex a chance after all the drama has passed and both of you are more rational, to see for yourself if he’s still worth it for you.

If he’s unresponsive or negative, that means it’s his loss and it would be easier for the mature woman to focus attention on something else even though what happened hurt them.

Check the link below:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant

Erm

July 23, 2017 at 10:08 pm

Hi..im erm my boyfriend broke up with me it was may 2017 because he got diabetes he lost his job but I didn’t agree with him. June we have a conversation he is insisting me to leave him alone but still i didn’t agree i beg and cried while we are talking on the phone he decided that if I’m willing to be with him i give him space I will leave him alone to fix his self and his situation others words he wants to focus on himself firts…… and I do the NC rule now I have 20 days… advice pls..what should I do I will wait for him or I’m going to move on????

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2017 at 5:29 pm

Hi Erm,
Try the nc process and
check this one:
EBR 003: Does Having Your Own Life Help You Get Your Ex Back?

Please help me

July 11, 2017 at 2:56 am

Hi..
He ended the relationship a month ago(13th june 2017)..
I tried reaching out to him so many times, after 15 days of breakup he gave a chance to meet him and said he will give it a shot again..but later in 3 days time he was like i cannot do this etc…
When announcing breakup again on 4th day this time he had multiple mood swings like reduce totally and come n meet me etc he said that 3 times..

I kind of got a doubt on him that there was another girl in his life and i took that girls phone number from his phone but i never intended to call her..i just wanted to see were they online together or not.
I felt guilty about it and i told him about this. He is like you spied on me and broke of the relationship
A week ago after begging him so much he came to meet and said i don’t want you. I dont want friends and relationships.
I want to live like myself its been days i did it.
He even said the main reasons for his mood swings are because of me.
I do not trust that line, as he is stressed a lot these days in work.

He also said..reasons for breakup
1. Me being over weight not losing it causing more problems. And due to stress these days i spoiled my skin.
2. Me became soo much possesive on him that i dont allow him his personal space and took that gal num and spied on him

I removed my whatsapp display picture and started laying low on social media..he deleted my number from his phone on last Sunday (9th July 2017). But he did not block me this time

I am not at all possesive, might be 10 to 20% thats it. I used to tell him i am insecure cos of my stress eating problems not because of any gals..

I dont know how to get him back..
I started gymming more and on healthier diet though our relationship is not working..

Please suggest me…

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2017 at 11:56 am

Hi,
Check this one:
How To Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Saddest girl ever

June 29, 2017 at 2:49 pm

Hi,
I really need your advise. I met an amazing guy in January and we both felt that we were great for each other. Everything was great and so romantic. However, after a few months, I became very sick and he was at the same time fed up with work. I think this was the beginning of the end because we started to argue a lot and had no energy for helping and supporting each other.
Suddently, I think it was in May, he broke up with me without giving me a good explaination. He just said that he needed time for himself and that I am a great girl who deserves the best guy. I was devastated!
Then I found this website and bought Chris’ book which I believe is amazing! I started NC and did everything by the book. I posted nice pictures on Instagram, met friends etc. After 4,5 week I send him the first contact message to which he responded better than expected. He seemed to be so happy to hear from me.
Then he asked me if I still had his key and told me that he had some of my stuff at his place and asked us to meet up to exchange our stuff. Since I didn’t wanted to see him that early (I wanted to follow the game plan) I said that I destroyed his key directly after the break up because I couldn’t stand seeing him at that time. I also said that it was OK if he throw my stuff. This mad my ex really upset and he said thing like “did I ever ask you to destroy my key??” or “you are so disrespectful”. Amor gave me some advise, and said that I could wait for a few days before contacting him again which I did.
However, every time I tried contacting him after that it felt like he really did his best to find something to get upset about. He started to brought up thing I had done and told me he just couldn’t accept it. Just so you know – this guy is very proud and stubborn. I felt like I was about to lose him forever and I became desperate. We started to talk about meeting up for sex, a classic friends with benefits relationship. We decided to meet up but started to argue about whether we were going to met at my och his place. This made me lose all hope but I really wanted to talk to him so I went to his place to do so. He refused to open the door so after I while I left. I was grying the whole night.

A few days later I tried to contact him and sometimes he answered, sometimes he didn’t. According to him, the worst thing you can do is to visit someone without ask for the person’s permission.
He said that he doesn’t hate me but that he doesn’t want any contact with me. At all. He wants me to leave him alone. He also told me that I am not the girl he falled in love with. He also blocked me for a while but then he unblocked me.

I’ve tried to contact him a few times but he hasn’t responded to anything the last two weeks. Is it time to move on? Do I have to? FYI, my ex is always much easier to talk to in person than by phone or through texts. That’s why I don’t think that he seriously feels nothing for me anymore. He feels so cold and heartless sometimes, but never when I’ve met him in person.

What should I do? 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2017 at 3:43 pm

Either you move on or do another nc for the last time

Bimmy

June 25, 2017 at 6:15 pm

Hi
My bf broke up with me 8months ago without giving any genuine excuse,I tried moving on but on is difficult,I have begged and cried but he still seems adamant,I believed it was due to his family issues but that isn’t my business…I have done d NC for two months now,I miss him,he also keeps checking my whatsapp status every single day…how do I go about getting back with him

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2017 at 6:09 am

How much did you improve yourself and how active were you in posting?

Taylor

June 19, 2017 at 10:31 pm

Hello,
So I am super confused on my situation. About a month and a half ago a friend of mine for about 3 and a half years broke up with his girlfriend because she treated him awful. Him and I chatted on and off, would have periods of no talking and such. Well he is military and does not live here and every time he comes home and we make plans to see one another he always shuts me down. Then always later on says that he regrets it and really wanted to see me. Well up until about a week ago everything was great. He said he loved me and was talking about marriage with me and we were making so many plans and then a flip switched and he told me to leave him alone and give him space. He was very cold and angry not like anything I had ever seen before. I tried all day to reach out but when I got nothing back I backed off. I thought it was because I told him he needed to grieve with his breakup emotions from his ex but i dont know. Then 3 days ago he found out I was going to surprise him when he got home and he texted me and told me to “F*** off and leave him alone”. Again it was very weird. I do not know what to do. Im confused because he has never been this way and he was just completely different. He was so cold to me. He just seemed to hate me and I have always been there for him. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 22, 2017 at 7:13 pm

Hi taylor,

you talk about marriage but you’re not officially a couple? As they say, actions speak louder than words.. It looks like he just says what you want to hear but he’s not really serious.

Anna

May 23, 2017 at 5:32 pm

Hi 🙂
I’m kind of concern about my situation, my ex bf and me dated for 8 months then he broke up with because he told me he wanted more ” experience ” so he went study abroad 1 year. Last year, by August I sent him a letter through mail that I was sorry if I did anything wrong and he responded me that I didn’t have to worry , that I needed to forgive myself and that he will never forget me. But then the day of Thanks giving I sent him a very angry text about our relationship (on 2015 he Told me to date him and 2 weeks later he didn’t told me he was going to study abroad) But he didn’t… that’s why we started dating. Any ways, the last text I sent to him was a ” I miss you” early on January 2017 and he replied that he understood that I missed him but I had to let him go. And I never text him again (5 months)… the only little thing I noticed was that he unblocked me on Instagram but not in FB. In this time I have been working on my self, eating healthy, going to the gym, planning a trip on next June…
But it doesn’t seems that the NC rule is working, and I don’t want to contact him again and feel rejected, also he might think that I’m chasing him, which I think it’s not attractive and he will loose interest or maybe he just did.
Do you think I should give up?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 25, 2017 at 4:24 pm

yup..for me, you should move on..

Tiffany K

May 22, 2017 at 8:04 pm

I want my best friend back. Can you help me?

Honestly, I don’t understand why he won’t talk to me. My recent ex and I were really great friends from the 9th – 11th grade and then he asked me out about a month ago and then at least two weeks ago, I broke up with him because I was being complained at for dating someone who supposedly smokes marijuana, and I knew him better than anyone. He would tell me everything, and just this past year, he lost his mom and I done everything I could to make sure he was always smiling because he said that I deserved to be happy, so I made it my mission to make sure he didn’t do something that he would regret. I’d text him goodmorning and ask how he was doing and I would hang out with him and only him at school. We were tight, man. Yes, he told me he had a past with marijuana but he said that he quit after his mom passed away. I don’t know what to do, Chris. I want my best friend back, not a relationship, just a friendship.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 24, 2017 at 5:24 pm

maybe because you’re not really acting like a friend, but a mom to him.. when did you last talk?

Alex

May 12, 2017 at 11:50 pm

Hi,

I really need an advice on my situation. I’m 23 and my ex boyfriend is 32. We dated for over a year and we had a really good peaceful relationship. He was so kind, generous and funny. But also he was not expressive when it comes to his feelings and he’s a very prideful guy. I broke up with him about a month ago because he got a new job and he got so busy. He was surprised at first but then he accepted the break up, at that time I found that I wanted him more than anything else and I told him I want him back but he said that it wasn’t going to workout and that he is going to be more busy than before (which I do really believe) but he wanted to be friends and wants things to be on good terms. Every time I text him, he replies quickly but he’s also a very polite guy. About two weeks ago, I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said yes but then he cancelled because he got busy and said that he’ll have more time in the next weeks but I didn’t talk to him since then. What should I do? I really want him back but I don’t know if I stand a chance specially that he said no when I told him I want him back. Will he change his mind later? Should I reach out to him in a month or so? And how should I go about it?

thanks so much for your help in advance

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 13, 2017 at 2:38 pm

try the no contact rule..be active in improving yourself and in posting..check the link below for your first contact text
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

Alex

May 12, 2017 at 11:47 pm

Hi,

I really need an advice on my situation. I’m 23 and my ex boyfriend is 32. We dated for over a year and we had a really good peaceful relationship. He was so kind, generous and funny. But also he was not expressive when it comes to his feelings and he’s a very prideful guy. I broke up with him about a month ago because he got a new job and he got so busy. He was surprised at first but then he accepted the break up, at that time I found that I wanted him more than anything else and I told him I want him back but he said that it wasn’t going to workout and that he is going to be Moreno busy than before (which I do really believe) but he wanted to be friends and wants things to be on good terms. Every time I text him, he replies quickly but he’s also a very polite guy. About two weeks ago, I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said yes but then he cancelled because he got busy and said that he’ll have more time in the next weeks but I didn’t talk to him since then. What should I do? I really want him back but I don’t know if I stand a chance specially that he said no when I told him I want him back. Will he change his mind later? Should I reach out to him in a month or so? And how should I go about it?

thanks so much for your help in advance

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 13, 2017 at 2:38 pm

try the no contact rule..be active in improving yourself and in posting..check the link below for your first contact text
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

Kristen

March 30, 2017 at 12:24 pm

Hi,

I was in an on and off relationship so after the break up I followed the no contact rule for six months and told him to leave me alone unless he is willing to commit. He send me a birthday wish a month ago. In that period I hired personal trainer, got promoted and graduated. I also meet new friends and posted pictures about that. Every time I post a story on instagram he looks at it right away so he is clearly interested in what I am doing. All my friend tell me how amazing I look recently. So I asked him for lunch and he accepted. He told me that I was always great but that now I am perfect. He also said that I look great and insisted to pay….saying I will pay next time. At the end he asked if it is ok that we see again over lunch and I said yes. After that he hasn’t call or texted and it was 10 days ago. Also I posted some picture of me and my male friend in the meantime….just us two having a glass of wine in the bar. Some of my friends ask me if we are dating…maybe he got the same immpression.

So should I wait or contact him ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 7:22 pm

Hi Kristen,

you could initiate contact but talk about something else. Act like you forgot the promised next meet up, that that’s not what in your mind.. in short, dont mention it..

SERIOUSLY NEED HELP

March 10, 2017 at 10:05 pm

To try and summarize this in the shortest way possible. my boyfriend and i got together without really building a foundation or being friends first. we dated for a year. after 6 months or maybe 8 we started fighting alot, we got mad or exagerated things that really didn’t need to be. we were just childish and young at the time. we kept it a secret from our family because they told us we were naive and didnt really accept it at the time. We just really rushed into it too quickly. The things is we could tell eachother anything and it was kind of like we werre bestfriends. I needed to deal with issues before I starte dating him and him as well and it kind of just haunted us and dragged the relationship down the more we tried to ignore it till it became toxic. Fast forward last spring he breaks up with me says we are friends and everything is basically the same just without being touchy feely but we still hang out and talk just the same with out the “boyfriend,girlfriend” title. Me being childish and not understand the deepness of the problem bug him and finally convince him to get back together with me about a month later. our real problems never got fixed because we promised to change but we didnt really do it or really try and i said lets forget about the time we werent together and everything that happened when that was the most crucial part. Eventually 4 months later minor conflicts happen we’re both annoyed then one night i just get super irritated and accused him of somethign we both knew he never did, i now realize i was trying to tell him something he was doing that was bugging me i just dont know why i had to do it in such a dramatic way. it ultimately upset him and he decided his peace of mind is more important then suffering in a relationship and calls it quits. Because I was just going through depression, not knowing who i was and ultimately childish about everything I decided i was going to beg for him tell him i couldnt live without him and at the time i thought i couldnt deal with the pain so i well sort of threatened to hurt myself, my crazy behaviour made everything worse. the follwoing weekend he asked my friend if i was ok the monday after i told him i was ignoring him but wanted to know if he was ok. at first he blocked my messages on facebook then i deactivated my account making it impossible to even search my name the only way to find me would be to scroll through all of your friends,and a month later took the time to go through his friend list and completely block me (to go though 800+ friends hmmm..) So i realize I made horrible choices and do no contact the entire summer goes by and my only means of communication i direct message him on instagram later on he blocked me there without replying. we come back to school and we are in the same homeroom. it was hard seeing him everyday. Sometimes when no one was there hed say hateful things one time i tried to talk to him and he said leave me alone and i never responded to him i didnt want to sink back that low till eventually he said something rude to my friend an i got fed up and sent this apology message to his older sister .she never responded idk if she even saw it,. then i decided if i love him i should just let him enjoy his peace and not lift up old negative emotions,just let him be happy. so i tried everything to move on. and i have gone through alot of personal growth. i see everything that went wrong in the relationship and i am able to own up to what i did. during that class id always catch him looking at me. so now its 8 months post breakup nearly 9 and i still cant get over him, hes still always on my mind no matter how much i fight it, it haunts me. I finially told a friend and 2 months ago she tried to help. She confronted him and basically he said the breakup brought him into depression and a super dark place and he never wants to revisit that so he doesnt want to talk to me. the teacher caught them talking and made him say what was wrong without revealing names he basically told her and she said do you feel breaking up was the best thing because if it was hurting you thats not good. and he said he thought he made the right decision. i feel really bad i made him feel so low ive felt like that and its no place to be. but i love him so much i miss my bestfriend. i just want to talk about everything that happned with him so we both understand. i dont want to jump back into a relationship right now just like he doesnt want to. but hes hurt and even more stubborn and i have no idea how to get through to him at this point. i know it can work if we resolve our issues and have the support of our friends and family and take it slow. his locker is right beside mine and i cant help but think is this a coincidence? we have no clases together now but still see eachother in the halls. Ultimately my battle is let this eat me alive and keep suffering or upset his happiness by trying to talk to him. i dont want to be selfish because i respect his happiness but i feel i deserve to be happy as well and i think talking to him is all that will setlle it since ive tried everything else.

**My question is how do i get him to talk to me when hes too hurt so hes emotionally shut off any possiblity of communicating with me again? Do i have any chance? (sorry for the long message it’s just been months and i dont know what else to do, i need all the advice possible and i have no money to buy any help books so whatver you can offer is appreciated)

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2017 at 4:42 pm

Hi Seriously need help,

do you want to properly do the no contacy rule now? Change first before entering in a relationship. Have counseling and improve yourself in health, wealth and relationship wit friends and family.. open the links below and review it’s advice.

EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

The Ungettable Girl

Kerrigan

March 8, 2017 at 2:04 am

I would really really like some advice.
Ok so me and my now ex boyfriend had a very caring and loving relationship. We are 4 years apart I’m 17 he’s 21. He broke up with me because he said he wanted me to explore and be myself. Which I understand because I will be going to college next year and being off on my own. However, he has commitment issues and is afraid of love as well. I know he cared deeply for me and loved me however after he broke up with me he met this new girl and just started dating her. I can’t tell if she is a rebound howeve he doesn’t see to care that much for her and called her low maintenance when I asked about her. Unfortunately one night I was messaging him being a gnat and his new gf started messaging me off his phone and well we got into a bit of an argument and I made him very upset. I apologized because I was being immature about the situation and haven’t talked to him since. I’d say it’s been about a week now.
My question is how do I get him back on speaking terms and get him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 1:09 pm

Hi Kerrigan,

Hmm.. the advices on both articles you commented on already stated what I need to say to you. It’s good that you’re already in nc, but do you have any questions about both of the posts? Was there anything unclear about the advice Chris wrote that I can help shed more light on?

Reef

March 4, 2017 at 4:35 pm

Hello… My bf cheated on me so i broke up and left without creating any scene. I didnt contacted him since and its been 31days. But bcoz we live really close so i saw him 5 times while he was leaving for work. He knws really well dat i m super angry and hurt.

In dese 31 days, i nvr saw him wid any other girl. he came towards me and tried talking to me twice (face to face) but i ignored him completely. I looked at him but i didn’t stopped, i left. Now he is not coming to me and my no contact period is over.

M confused. Did i made him angry? Will he again try to talk to me? Is my nc working on him!? According to u, what r my chances of getting him back and make him commit?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2017 at 8:19 pm

Hi Reef,

He’s probably just respecting your space. Actually in those cases, the best approach was to be short and civil. How much did you improve during nc? You can initiate contact after nc. When you’re starting to text, that is when you’ll know more if you have a chance, but since he approached you before, that’s a good sign.

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