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1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”

  1. Janet

    August 27, 2013 at 3:22 am

    What do you say after I have a confession to make… What is the positive comment

    1. admin

      August 28, 2013 at 3:10 am

      I would combine it with something like this “I was reading harry potter and it made me think of you. It made me smile :)”

  2. TiffRN04

    August 24, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I wrote you a few weeks back so I hope you can still see our thread so I don’t have to explain my situation to you again. But as a recap, my ex had ignored me for almost 6 months without resounding to any of my texts, and the last NC period I have done just ended after 7 weeks when I sent him a “I have a confession to make…” text. He actually responded to me after about 8 hours with, “So you knowI am not priest and have not been sanctioned by any church to hear confession.” (Well…. to me the response wasn’t ideal but at least I have confirmation he HAS been getting my texts all this time and hadn’t blocked my number.) Anyway, I wrote back an hour later and said, “funny. 🙂 ” So now what???? What’s funny is that I really have nothing to confess I was just using your suggested tactic!! What do I do now???? Help me Chris. Thanks!!

    1. admin

      August 27, 2013 at 2:52 am

      Well, lets look at the positives. You got a response which you didn’t before.

      From here I would say the best way to go forward is to take things slow. Wait a week before you reach out to him.

    2. TiffRN04

      August 27, 2013 at 3:20 am

      Well, you don’t think his curiosity is still peaked by what I might have to say? I wasn’t planning on texting him and letting him come to me. I want the ball in my court for once. When I normally wait 5-7 weeks in between texts, you think I should be texting him in a week? This is so crazy confusing. I will take your advice, I obviously think like a guy lol. 🙂

    3. admin

      August 28, 2013 at 3:09 am


      Try a week out and let me know exactly what happens.

    4. TiffRN04

      August 31, 2013 at 4:43 pm

      I gave it only a week this time as you suggested, and wrote a cute sassy text and again no response back. It’s been seven months and he has given no indication that he even thinks about me anymore. I think its time I believe it’s truly over.

    5. admin

      September 1, 2013 at 4:38 am

      Yea, it isn’t looking good. Maybe it is time to throw in the towel and focus on just healing. Of course, I can still help you through anything so you always have a friend here.

    6. TiffRN04

      August 27, 2013 at 3:22 am

      oops…. I obviously DON’t think like a guy hehehe.

  3. C

    August 20, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    Can you still text him if he has a new girlfriend?

    1. admin

      August 21, 2013 at 4:36 am

      I think so. I think morally it is completely ok. As long as you don’t badmouth the new girl and focus on reigniting the feelings within your ex so that he makes the decision to come back to you I think it is completely ok.

    2. C

      September 28, 2013 at 10:52 pm

      Hello! It’s been a little over a month since i’ve written on here. I have improved so much it’s unbelievable!

      But, I found out him and his girlfriend are amazing together. All he does is write stuff online about her. I found out he calls her the nickname he used to call me (it’s not like babe or baby, it’s a very special unique thing..) he’s also friends with my “new guy”, so it’s not even like he’s jealous. He’s already super clinged on to his girlfriend. He only sees her once a week, but shes not even that nice to him (I was a little bratty at first but became nicer throughout the relationship.) It literally seems like he’s obsessed with her, especially since she’s “one in a million” to him (uhg come on!)

      So I really truthfully feel as if it’s useless at this point. He already is in love with her which sucks so bad. I mean I’m glad he’s happy, but I know I could offer so much for him. I literally did everything for him, I probably shouldn’t have 🙁 Any ways, from what i’ve told you, (you can be mean & truthful to me!) what do I do with the situation? If I should do anything..

    3. admin

      September 30, 2013 at 12:26 am

      I think if he is better off with someone than he is with you then don’t rob him of it. Some people are just better fits for eachother. Thats my honest truthful opinion!

      Hope that didn’t sting 🙁

    4. C

      September 28, 2013 at 10:57 pm

      Ah wrote this in the wrong place! Well, in case you need any prior info, (if you have the time) the whole story is in the comments here, sorry!

      https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/comment-page-2/#comments (July 28th)

  4. Dee

    August 19, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    Okay, so I’ve read most of the relevant pages on this site. I know Yangki Christine Akiteng doesn’t agree with the NC rule because she say sit just allows both parties to move on with their lives and they’ve already cemented that the relationship is over in their heads. Any response to that?
    Also – I’m in a predicament. My boyfriend has a bunch of my stuff, including my bike. I have some books of his. My dad has offered to email him and make a plan to get my stuff himself! (His car does have the bike rack and I can’t drive it since it’s stick..) Should I let him email my ex? I am worried this will scare the living daylights out of him. I also don’t really want to ask him, I’ll just feel really sad… The other option is tell him if he doesn’t want my dad to come he can just bring my stuff here (and I’ll make sure I’m out of the house). How do I do this? Will it freak him out if my dad comes and gets the bike? My dad is going to be super cold to him since he’s really mad for me.

    We have only communicated in text and email since we broke up and nothing emotional, basically just finalizing what had happened and made plans to meet up which I then nixed. I haven’t even told him I want to get back together.
    This guy broke up with me and had been a huge sucker for me for our 2.5 year relationship although we had had some problems over the last year… I think I have a good chance that he’ll miss me and regret this, but I worry if I just leave him alone for a month he’ll move on for good. Also, we hardly even broke up in person and I still don’t really have any idea why he wanted to.

    1. admin

      August 20, 2013 at 3:59 am

      Who is Yangki Christine Akiteng? I want to read her stuff and what she has to say.

      My response is that I have personal experience with the no contact rule and have had people on this site use it and have awesome success. Now, I am not saying it works 100% of the time but can you tell me what does work 100% of the time in relationships? So, I would like to read what she says about the NC rule because I am curious to see a different perspective.

      You should aboslutely get your stuff back but you should get it back yourself. Don’t have your dad do it for you. Putting your dad in the game will cement the fact that he doesn’t want you back and that is not what you want. (I am speaking from experience here trust me.)

    2. Artemis

      August 20, 2013 at 12:25 pm

      I feel like i have literally delved the internet for all of this information. I have read just about everything that is free haha.



      I’m kind of of the mind to take at least two weeks to myself, I think. ONly because he wouldn’t believe me right now, and I’m not sure I could handle it.

    3. admin

      August 21, 2013 at 4:26 am

      Trust your gut. I do say NC is a smart way to go, even if it is just for two weeks.

    4. Artemis

      August 21, 2013 at 10:55 pm

      I just don’t feel like manipulation is the way to go.
      I’m certainly not advocating txt terrorism or begging, but just basically starting your kind of process sooner. Maybe leaving longer gaps in between, like a week.

      Anyway did you get to read the articles? She’s fairly persuasive but not very specific (I guess she wants you to buy the ebook)

    5. admin

      August 22, 2013 at 3:55 am

      I haven’t gotten around to reading her articles yet.

  5. Allison

    August 17, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    So about a year and a half ago this guy messages me on Facebook, we get to talking and he gets my number and we end up talking daily, at first I thought we were just friends.. Then after a while, I start to like him, only to find out he liked me too. Perfect! After that we really got to know eachother. I found out that he actually liked me for two years before we started talking, two years! I wasn’t allowed to date for another year, so he waited. And during the time being we basically acted like a couple. We made so many amazing memories! He was more than my “boyfriend-to-be”,
    He was my best friend. We did argue a lot I’m not going to lie. But they were always pretty small arguments and they were usually through texts. I can never remember arguing with him in person. So once I was allowed to date, he told me he was going to ask me out In person just because it’s more “romantic”. So since it was summer I didn’t get to see him a lot. He has a lot of family and he does camps a lot so it’s really hard on me when it’s been two weeks and I haven’t seen him yet. So one time at camp, we were arguing and then outta no where, he gave up. He blew up, he told me he was done with me and everything. I had never seen him like that. He was usually a person not to get mad that often either. And being a girl, I begged for him back, and to this day I do regret that I did that. So after he got home from camp, I texted him and he acted normal. And then after texting him a couple times I got a text from his friend. His friend was telling me how miserable he was, so my friend texted my sorta “ex” and asked him if any of it was true and he said no. Of course I was devastated. It’s been a little over a month since the break up and I miss him like crazy. The last time I’ve texted him was 6 days ago, and he told me “im trying to move on and so should you” . the fact is, i cant let this amazing guy that ive met go. I am trying the NC rule and so far, nothing. Should I mention that I met most of his family and I got really close to them and I went to all his soccer games and he always told me “you’re going to be the best girlfriend ever”. So during the NC rule ill being passing his birthday, August 27, and my birthday September 6. Another thing is he hides his feelings, big time so I have no idea if he still has any feelings for me. His excuse for breaking up is that we argued too much. Any help?

    1. admin

      August 18, 2013 at 4:25 am

      I understand how hard this must be for you. That is why I put a success section in so you can get some inspiration.

      I think NC is the smartest way to go.

      How old are you and him if I may be so bold to ask?

    2. Allison

      August 18, 2013 at 5:00 am

      Both 16, I know what you’re thinking, I’m way too young to be here.

    3. admin

      August 19, 2013 at 3:01 am

      I wasn’t thinking that at all. Actually at that age boys can be kind of immature so their minds can change on a dime.

    4. Allison

      August 19, 2013 at 1:55 pm

      Does that lessen the chances of me getting him back?

    5. admin

      August 20, 2013 at 4:01 am

      It doesn’t help but your chances are still there.

    6. Allison

      August 17, 2013 at 8:16 pm

      Oh and I should mention, the night he “broke up” with me, he was with friends since he was at camp

  6. Sophie

    August 17, 2013 at 2:01 pm

    What if he never contacts u during the 30 days no contact? Or at all after that? (obviously other than move on)

    1. admin

      August 18, 2013 at 4:08 am

      Well, you will contact HIM at the 30 day mark so it really doesn’t matter either way in my opinion.

  7. Sue

    August 15, 2013 at 8:39 pm

    But Chris, he flipped out on me like a drama queen and went to the extent to change his cell phone number the same day because I asked him a question regarding out joint account. However, I still know his house and work number but haven’t called him. Was he thinking I would call him? So, after the NC period and I think I would want us to be on talking terms, but how do I text him when I don’t have his number anymore!?

    1. admin

      August 16, 2013 at 2:42 am

      That complicates things. Do you have him on Facebook?

    2. Sue

      August 16, 2013 at 5:03 am

      I deleted him out of anger and then he went to the extent one step further of blocking me plus also removing me from LinkedIn. That to me says a lot but he is acting like a child – he got the last word or holding the power?

    3. admin

      August 17, 2013 at 2:48 am

      Hahahaha nah, it is a childish thing to do and don’t let it phase you one bit.

    4. Sue

      August 17, 2013 at 4:22 am

      Thank-you Chris. I’ve been reading your posts and you help lots of women on here. It’s great what you do. Thanks again!!!

  8. Irene

    August 11, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    First of all, I want to thank you for everything that you’re doing, if I had some clue of how to help people in this direction as well, I would have surely done it, but I guess I’m completely lost and have no idea what to do with my problems, let alone give some terrible advice, so here is where you come into action 🙂 I’ll try to keep things as short as possible. I spent half a year in a quite far away country through an exchange program. I met there a guy, a local, we did nothing but going out, talking, spending some time together and, inevitably, having sex. That’s something like friends with benefits. Also, I should mention that I kinda started liking him, stupid me [or more than liking, even worse]. I came back home 2 months ago, we kept talking and a couple of days ago I noticed his Facebook update of being in a relationship with a girl he met recently and who is there on a bit longer vacation and will go back home in few time. Of course, that wasn’t the best news I got lately, but I know there’s nothing to do, I guess it would be almost illegal to start acting weird and affected 🙂 But I want to keep in touch with him, I also plan to go back there as soon as possible and I don’t know how to address to him now so that I can give him the clue that when I get back there and when he is available I wouldn’t mind at all repeating that pleasant chapter or even more, so yeah, I know it sounds strange, but I guess you get the point, I want to talk to him in such a way that he’ll be interested in me and in my return there and that he’ll be aware that I’ll want to talk to him as more than a friend. If that is possible, sure, I don’t really know how to express myself right now. Would be the NC rule helpful in any way? And if yes, what is there to do after having applied the NC rule? Thanks a lot and sorry if my question is too childish or useless or makes no sense 🙂

    1. admin

      August 12, 2013 at 2:44 am

      I kind of get it. The only problem I am seeing here is if you two live far away from eachother how would you see eachother again?

      NC might work but only if the two of you are used to texting eachother often.

      After NC you really slowly work him to bring up emotional feelings within him to get him to view you in a romantic way. The big article entitled “how to get your ex boyfriend back” really does a great job of explaining this entire process.

    2. Irene

      August 12, 2013 at 8:00 am

      Yep, that’s a good question. Well, I started 3 weeks ago a 6 month internship and, yeah, if I think about it, we haven’t really talked since then. I am irrevocably in love with that country [something like 3000 km away from me, at a stone’s throw] and when my internship is over I’ll start looking for a job there. Of course, I’m not that positive about how successful this might be, but I‘ll give it a try. Also, I have a question. And I’m reaaaally sorry if my questions are too childish, I’ve always been a disaster when it comes to guys and stuff. On his birthday I gave him a t shirt painted by me with a kinda personal message. Sometimes I just find gifts or little things that guys offered me and I just think about them a bit and about the times we used to be close. Do you do that? I know you wrote that you think sometimes of your ex, but since I’m not really an ex.. yeah :/ So, in other words, my question is that, if I stop talking to the guy for some time, is he likely to totally forget about me or not?
      PS: Thanks again, what you do is so great 🙂

    3. admin

      August 13, 2013 at 2:27 am

      I ran across some letters a few years ago that my ex wrote to me and that made me think of her. I think my ex gave me red workout shorts once and maybe that was why I broke up with her, those ridiculous shorts.

      If you stop talking to him he WILL NOT forget you. That is highly unlikely.

    4. Irene

      August 13, 2013 at 7:21 am

      Ok, got it 🙂 Thanks a lot again!

    5. admin

      August 14, 2013 at 1:47 am

      no problem

  9. Crissy

    August 10, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My story is kind of depressing. I was in an abusive relationship the last two years of high school and the first semester of college. During this time I met my now ex-boyfriend. We hit it off right away; he is unlike anyone I have ever met. He is hilarious, we have a lot in common, and we want the same things out of life. We started “dating” May 2010. Our first year together was bumpy because we had both just gotten out of emotionally draining relationships. I guess you could say we were each other’s rebounds but we fell in love with each other anyway. We broke up the following year because he ended up sleeping with his ex while he was away at school. I was devastated I called excessively, texted him every hour on the hour, emailed and Facebook stalked him. I went super crazy because all he did was ignore me. It wasn’t until 2 months later that I realized my behavior was getting me no where. So I stopped, I went cold turkey. After I stopped talking to him he started to call me again, we kept in contact but it was nothing serious. After months of trying to get me back we started dating again in May of 2012. It was long distance (he lives in Georgia and I go to school in Alabama) but everything was going well. We never went a whole months without seeing each other and when we did see each other it was amazing, I felt so loved. That is until my mother was in a car accident and put on bed rest for 6 months. It was very stressful for both of us because we couldn’t see each other but he stayed by my side. After my mother was able to walk again he lost his job so he couldn’t come to see me. I wasn’t able to see him that often because I was still in school for the summer. Still we made it work. That is until these past two months, he started being distant and constantly hanging out with his best friend (who’s single) along with their other single friends. They have never approved of our relationship because 1. It’s long distance and 2. I’m a little overweight and not “hot” enough to be with him. However, he has never had a major problem with it. Until he started constantly hanging out with them, then he started bringing it up. We had been arguing non- stop for the past month. One of his not so great qualities is that he’s very flirtatious and I found an inappropriate text to another girl in his phone when I went to Georgia to see him and I confronted him. After this he broke down and started to cry asking me to forgive him promising to do better and work on our relationship. This was on June 22, he told me I was the only girl he ever wanted to be with and that he can’t love without me. I am about to graduate in December so we talked about getting a place together and moving in with each other by October. Everything was fine then out the blue he broke up with me on July 17th. He said he didn’t want to be in a relationship right now because he isn’t ready for a serious commitment and that this isn’t the right time for us. He also said that he’s still in love with me and that he wants to be with me but he doesn’t, and that he needs time to think. The first day he said it was over, I called a lot no answer so I stopped. I haven’t talked to him on the phone since the 17th of July but we have messaged each other on Facebook a few times. Each time he told me that he missed me and still loves me he just needs time to think. I stopped talking to him on August 2nd I haven’t called, messaged or done anything. When I got on Facebook today I saw he removed all the pictures of us from his Facebook page but he hasn’t de-friended me. A friend of mine also told me he’s dating another girl or possibly other girls. I miss him so much it hurts and I feel we are meant to be together. We have always found our way back to the other. I still feel this impossible-to-ignore connection with him. How could he go from working on our relationship to not wanting to be in one at all? Did he freak out because we were getting serious? Is it peer pressure from his friends? What if he falls in love with another girl during the No Contact period? Is there a chance for us to get back together? What should I do?

    I’m sorry if I seem intense my mind is just racing right now.

    1. admin

      August 11, 2013 at 3:21 am

      My gosh, I hate hearing stories like this.

      Well, I guess all of the above could be the answer to all your questions.

      Yes, you have a chance but like I tell everyone that isn’t a guarantee. I think you would benefit from reading my latest post.

    2. Crissy

      August 16, 2013 at 3:03 pm

      I don’t understand, could you explain… because I don’t want him to meet someone else during the no contact period. I’m just so confused.

    3. admin

      August 17, 2013 at 3:32 am

      I was in a rush last night so I didn’t properly answer your NC question. It is possible that he could meet a girl over NC but if it does happen there is a possibility that it could be a rebound. Also, bear in mind that relationships usually do end so the chances of that relationship working out is very slim.

    4. Chrissy

      September 3, 2013 at 4:26 pm

      Ok Chris I have been doing the no contact and he has been texting me, messaging me on Facebook and sending me emails. I have stayed strong and not responded…but Saturday he sent me a message on Facebook asking me to go out on a date with him on Saturday (which would have been our anniversary) to see if there is still a spark. I haven’t responded, should I go out on the date even though the 30 days of No Contact aren’t up?

    5. admin

      September 4, 2013 at 2:18 am

      Well the point of all of this is to get the date so I say YES!

    6. Crissy

      August 21, 2013 at 2:08 pm

      I hadn’t done any of that. He messaged me on Facebook and I responded. The day before he sent me that message on Facebook saying we should go our separate ways for now…he told me that he knew part of him was still in love with me because he still has feelings for me. He also told me that if we were to work out it would be magical. But when he sent me message and blocked me I got so upset that I emailed him 6 times and called 9 with no response and no answer, in fact he sent my calls straight to voicemail. I know I shouldn’t have emailed or called, but I wanted an explanation. I was particularly mean in one of the emails I called him a mistake, told him that he never treated me right and I said goodbye…I also called him a p*ssy. I know it was wrong and didn’t mean it I was just angry and upset. I don’t understand why he keeps going back and forth. I want him to hurt like I’m hurting but it’s like he doesn’t even care. Is it too late to start your program or has too much damage been done and do you think we’re over for good?

    7. admin

      August 22, 2013 at 3:21 am

      I don’t think so at all. Go into NC, I think some time needs to pass before you can have a chance. I also recommend that if you want a good program/step by step guide to check out my Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

    8. Crissy

      August 19, 2013 at 2:09 pm

      He sent me a message saying he thinks “we should go our separate ways for now.” and blocked me on Facebook. Is this a sign that I should just give up? I feel like such a loser…

    9. admin

      August 20, 2013 at 4:04 am

      Have you been spamming his phone or facebook with messages? Or was this out of the blue?

  10. tallie

    August 8, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    hello. my boyfriend OF 2 years broke up with me. the first time after i had been away for a few weeks visiting my family he picked me up from the airport cooked me breakfast and then said while crying his eyes out for hours that he does not feel the same and he doesn’t know what to do about the future and he is worried we will just end up breaking up in another two years because if he married me he is not sure i would be truly happy with what he has to offer. i cried too. we spent the rest of the day together hanging out. the next few days he would txt me saying he misses me and loves me for a few more days he asked me if i wanted to go to dinner so i said yes. we were very close and the next day he said that has to be it. we didnt speak for the whole weekend and by sunday he had txted me saying he misses me and not sure whether he should txt or not. i then went away on holiday to my best friends wedding and he kept txting asking me to send him pictures of me in my bridesmade dress and that i am the best girl he will ever meet and he doesnt think he will find anyone quite like me (this is where i made the mistake- because i didnt know about NO CONTACT RULE. i then replied to him) he said he wanted to talk when back. when i got back he asked me to dinner and we went and then i said i was going out with my friends he said he wants to make this work and try again. i said ok lets take it slowly. AND THEN BAM- a week later we spent the weekend together and on sunday he said he still doesnt feel the same im his best friend he is attracted to me and loves me and couldnt give me an answer and left me…. its been 4 days since we have not contacted each other. AND I WILL NOT CONTACT HIM. if only i had known about the no contact rule before all of this had started i feel silly for giving him a second chance so easily. why didnt i put two and two together and leave him alone to stew for a month.things would be so different now. i just want to ask do you think i still have a chance succeeding with the no contact rule>>>?? if i implement it or is he too far gone/ completely confused ? kind regards T

    1. admin

      August 9, 2013 at 4:42 am

      I think you do have a chance. But that doesn’t guarantee your success 100%.

      The real question is, do you want him back? Lets make this about you and not him.

  11. Rose

    August 6, 2013 at 9:34 pm

    He hasn’t responded to my text I sent a few days ago. I’m not sure the reason why though. It could be either he doesn’t want to speak to me, or he lost my number. In our group he was talking and said he had lost a lot of his numbers, sooo… it’s very well possible he doesn’t have my number and doesn’t know it’s me. Should I try again with a text and tell him who it is (just in case) at the same time? I don’t want to look stupid or like a stalker or something though. It he has my number I’ll look stupid, but if he lost it and knows I know he lost it he’ll think I’m a stalker. He doesn’t really notice when he’s talking loudly or stuff, or may not have noticed that I was actually paying attention to the only conversation around, that was also next to me. He’s not always the fastest, but neither am i.

    1. admin

      August 7, 2013 at 3:18 am

      Yes, I think that is a logical step. You have waited a couple of days already right?

    2. Rose

      August 7, 2013 at 6:29 am

      Yes, I sent it thursday, but it was pretty late so he probably didn’t get it until friday morning. I’m thinking of sending a new text wednesday or thursday though. Would talking about a show or game we used to watch/play be a good topic? Or even a movie we had a lot of fun watching work?

    3. admin

      August 8, 2013 at 2:01 am

      I wouldn’t go with the movie.

      I would say go with a game you used to play.

    4. Rose

      August 13, 2013 at 3:40 am

      No reply since. :/ Since we’ll be seeing each other daily I think I’m going to try no contact again, and strictly stay to business. It seemed he reacted a bit to me leaving him alone and not bothering him.

    5. admin

      August 14, 2013 at 1:35 am

      If you feel that is the right thing to do in your situation then I say always trust your gut.

  12. Nosipho

    August 5, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    I really need your help
    My story is very long but i will try to cut it short.
    My ex and I dated for about 3 months and then we started fighting a lot and then he said he wanted time and i didnt want to give him time because i had given up so much already for him.
    We had a very bad break up, i trashed his place, and once i even hit him and we have been fighting ever since, its been two years now, im always the one calling him, he never calls, he even said that he wants nothing to do with me and my parents even got involved, he complained about me to my parents and things were just getting worse and worse everytime.
    i have threatened a couple of times to kill mself because he never wants to do anything for me but i always did everything for him, i gave him money, bought him food, bought him and his friends alcohol, i did EVERYTHING for him. i really need help cause i just dont know what to do anymore cos he doesnt want to listen to me

    1. admin

      August 6, 2013 at 3:32 am

      Girls who buy stuff for their boyfriends and do everything for them is kind of a turnoff to a lot of guys.

      Have you tried the NC rule?

      Also, you may need professional help if you have tried to kill yourself.

    2. Nosipho

      August 6, 2013 at 5:30 pm

      I did everything for him because he was going through a hard time and i wanted to be a good girlfriend and support him, i wanted him to know that i loved him and cared about him.

      please can you give me a link to the direct NC rule page where i can find the instructions to the NC rule

    3. admin

      August 7, 2013 at 3:01 am

    4. nosipho

      September 16, 2013 at 12:37 pm


      i’m so sad, i sent the message on the 5th of sept and he didn’t reply. what to do now????

    5. admin

      September 17, 2013 at 1:13 am

      I would say go into NC for another two weeks and then try again and come up with a better message.

    6. nosipho

      September 3, 2013 at 1:37 pm

      ok so i decided that i would like to be civil with my ex again and i checked out your post about the first contact text message after NC but the thing is so much has been said already and so much has happened that i can’t come up with anything interesting enough to text him that will really make him sit up and take notice. (i’m finding it hard to even remember any of the good times that we had *BBM can’t watch face*)

      so i was thinking could you maybe recommend or suggest what i can text or say to him for the first contact message, i’m really sorry to bother you it’s just that i am really bad at these relationship things and even worse when it comes to communicating what i want with males, it seems that everything i say just repels everyone, i’m like your tomboy/independent type of girl sort of thing. i can’t even flirt, i don’t even know what flirting is actually…

      so what i plan to do is to put to action what you suggest i should say or text to him and if i don’t get a response then i will just go back to another 30 days of NC again.

    7. admin

      September 4, 2013 at 2:10 am

      Haha no problem,

      I used to have trouble too. Maybe what you should shoot for is something like this:

      Hey, I was doing (thing A) and it reminded me of when you used to (thing b). It just made me think of you.

    8. nosipho

      September 3, 2013 at 12:18 pm

      BY THE WAY…
      The No Contact Rule thing is GENIUS, I have pretty much recovered from all the stress and bad things that happened from the relationship, I wish I had read it earlier before all the drama in my relationship happened, thanks for putting this site up it really is a lifesaver!

      and i’m already saving up for ExBRPro 🙂

    9. admin

      September 3, 2013 at 6:09 pm


      Oh, it makes me so happy to hear this 🙂

    10. nosipho

      September 2, 2013 at 10:49 am

      thanks for the encouragement chris 🙂
      i’ll be reaching the 30 day mark in 3 days and i find that i kind of don’t know what to do now… like i’ve done the 30 days so its kind of like ‘where to from here’?

      i’ve met 1 or 2 guys during this time, we chatted they asked for my numbers & i gave my numbers to them but they never called me or texted. so i just don’t know what to do? im just lost

    11. admin

      September 3, 2013 at 2:58 am

      You should check out some of the texting sections on this website.

      Also, you might want to invest in Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO so you can cure some of that “what the h*ell do I do now?”

    12. Nosipho

      August 23, 2013 at 1:19 pm

      LOL! Yes! NCA indeed!

      i am at the half way mark & im starting to just forget about him completely, i dont feel like i need him so much & work is kinda busy & im moving up in my career.

      for the first time i actually feel like i can move on without him… weird…

    13. admin

      August 23, 2013 at 7:24 pm

      WOOT WOOT! That is awesome. You are doing amazing. You are taking the power back.

    14. nosipho

      August 15, 2013 at 12:22 pm

      I am 8 days clean (on the NC rule) but its really rough

    15. admin

      August 16, 2013 at 2:16 am

      Hahaha NCA (no contacts anonymous.)

    16. Nosipho

      August 6, 2013 at 5:25 pm

      no i havent tried the NC rule but i will try and do it and see if it works

    17. admin

      August 7, 2013 at 3:00 am

      I think that is a smart idea.

  13. Alex

    August 5, 2013 at 5:02 am

    So I have known my ex for 8 years. He has always been the one with the power. I was the one to fall for him. I was 16 and he was 14 and he knew it when I asked him out to prom when he was 15. Then I moved on because he never felt the same way back, or showed that he did. I was self conscious about my looks so after going to college I lost 40 pounds and came home and ran into him again. We met up a few times and that was it. He pursued me and won me over all over again. We dated for 3 months and he ran away telling me he couldn’t handle a relationship. I was heartbroken and left for 3 years, dated another guy, he reached out once, but I blew him off. Then after breaking up with my ex we got coffee. He apologized, sincerely, and told me how much he had thought of me the last 3 years. We stayed up all night talking and then I had to go back and take care of ex details. (since I had moved away) We talked everyday on facebook. Then we tried to work on things again and maybe I came on too strongly, but he went running for the hills again! after leading me on…so I did what I had to. He actually said “he didn’t love me” So I cut him out of my life. Completely. I deleted him on facebook, avoided events with mutual friends. Even sent him a message saying that we can’t be friends and that I know he would understand my feelings. Just gave him everything he had asked for.

    It’s been 2 months now and I haven’t heard from him. However, I keep hearing from mutual friends that he is asking about me and he even talked to my brother. I ran into him once and blew him off when he asked me to a party he was having. He seemed desperate, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. What do I do? keep up no contact? move on? I love him, but can’t stand that he has hurt me so badly. Then to insult me by saying he doesn’t love me. It sucks.

    1. admin

      August 6, 2013 at 2:54 am

      I would say keep doing NC for a little while.

  14. t

    August 5, 2013 at 4:58 am

    Hi chris… we have been nc for 60days… he did send me a message for my birthday last month….
    im actually so nervous of rejection I have no idea what to say… can you maybe suggest something? As mentioned in my first message when last we spoke all he remembered was the bad absolutely no good.. none… he claims I reduced him to nothing and made him so insecure and intimidated. None of your text message examples seem to lend towards my situation? I know his best friend is having a baby do I wait till that happens and congratulate-its next month? Otherwise I can mentions photos I know he would like.. any advice?

    1. admin

      August 6, 2013 at 2:51 am

      Ok, if the texts on this page are too extreme for your situation then you can dumb it down a little.

      Try sending something like “Hey, just been thinking about you lately. What is up?”

  15. aakriti

    August 4, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    ok.. i was in a relationship for 2 years
    in which i was a really horrible girlfriend
    and took him for granted
    looking at other guys
    after 2 years my guy just couldnt take it and broke up
    now after that tie its been 6 months and i have been begging him every single day without fail to come back to me
    he is really angry
    has blocked me on facebook
    gmail,gtalk and every where possible
    he has been updating his relationship status as in a relation ( i am pretty sure he isnt one )
    but he has been talking to this wierd girl lately and it might be possibe that he get son with her
    the point is because of my begging and everything he is actually pissed off
    he has asked me not to call or message him anymore and neither would he
    also he told my friend that he has moved on in his life and says that he doesnt love me anymore
    i got really frustrated and shouted at him
    when he shouted back
    i said sorry and told him that i love him
    after that he accused me of several things
    n shouted at me to not to message him anymore
    since then i havent contacted him
    now what do i do?
    i repeat that it has been 6 months since we broke up
    n i kept on begging this whole time [ include a few ties when i shouted at him for not replying to me ]

    1. admin

      August 5, 2013 at 3:28 am

      Begging is your problem. Guys find that as a huge turnoff.

      Go NC immediately and don’t slip up.

    2. aakriti

      August 5, 2013 at 7:29 am

      i have started it already
      its been 4 days !!

    3. aakriti

      August 4, 2013 at 2:39 pm

      also i did all the text sins possible when he wasnt replying to my text

  16. Holly

    August 3, 2013 at 4:00 am

    After mine and my exs breakup (He brokeup with me) I begged like a physco. After about a week of me begging I stopped and he texted me telling me how much he missed me, and we were going to try to get back together, but then I started talking about another guy which shut him down and he decided that he was “done for now” . I went back to begging, but stopped when he told me that I had almost no chance of getting him back. I went into n/c and after 9 days he texted me at around 11 at night just saying “Hey”.That was strange to me because he usually goes to bed around 10. I waited until the next day to reply. He seemed like he missed me, asked about a guy he thought I’d been seeing, then asked to come see me. Which I said no to. After this we talked almost everyday, no flirting really, but then we started arguing over stupid stuff and decided that we wouldn’t be friends anymore. A little while later he texted me out of the blue saying that he wanted to start over and be friends. We’ve been broken up for 4 months by the way. So we started talking as friends, but it wasn’t very often that we talked. One day about a month ago he randomly texted me saying a picture that he saw of me looked very cute. We flirted and randomly that night he told me that he loved me. I told him that I loved him too and we started seeing each other again and hanging out. He told me that he missed me and I had planned to get back with him. Then he started acting strange and told me about another girl in a different state that he had been talking to and he didn’t know which one of us he wanted, I started up my begging and stuff again which of course didn’t help. Then we were hanging out and I was going to take the option from him and say that he could choose the other girl when he told me that he just wasn’t going to choose either of us because it was so stressful for him, but we decided that in a few months we’d try again, but not until we had stopped loving each othe (He wanted to start over completely) so I agreed and we remained friends, talked everyday, hungout and stuff. Then he changed his mind and decided he never wanted to date me again, then he changed it again and decided he would give it another chance, THEN, as of now, he said that he’s never going to date me again because I begged so much, he told this to a friend of his and me by the way. I’m just going to back off and be his friend like he wants for now. He said that he likes me in a sense and loves me in a sense, whatever that means. So I’ve started talking to him about another guy. He now has a girlfriend because I made him mad and put too much pressure on him, but they won’t last long. Will he change his mind again? How can I make him want me back? We still talk almost everyday. He’s very set on never dating me again right now but he keeps changing his mind. Can I get him to change his mind again. And if this all seems childish, it’s because it is. I’m 17. Help please??

    1. admin

      August 4, 2013 at 2:24 am

      I think the chances are high he might change his mind again. I mean, he has three times already hahahaha.

      Just don’t beg. That really isn’t attractive behavior. High quality girls don’t beg. They get guys to beg!

  17. Rose

    August 2, 2013 at 7:12 am

    So, I sort of followed the no contact rule. However, this was before I even found your site. I think the longest was 2 or 3 weeks. Eventually, I would start talking to him, and things would be going well, but then something would come up that would really aggravate both of us. It didn’t help either that after the breakup I was one of the worst monsters ever. I told him about all of the flaws I thought he had and many other things I regret. And honestly, they’re things that bother me, but that’s what makes him him, and the reason I want to be with him. But about a week and a half later, I sent him a short, but meaningful apology… no response. Another week or so and again, we would start talking happily, and some then new thing would come up, like him dropping out of school or a new girlfriend… I eventually found out she was fake, and blatantly posted on facebook that she was. I used no names, but our friends could pretty much tell. The next day, I apologized because he had deleted his account and I truly did regret my actions. Between interactions, I was looking up sites to help me win him back. I ended up learning a lot. Especially why he had started to not be attracted to me any more. I also was working on slimming down a bit and building some muscle, which he really likes. Currently, I have spoken to him and some of his friends and they say things are over and that he is uninterested.The unfortunate thing is though, both me and his friends feel he may be lying. I feel this most because he constantly stares at me ( we are in a large band together), and if I hurt myself, even the slightest bit, he immediately asks if I’m alright. And the last time I messaged him, I just sent hi, and when he responded I told him all I wanted was to say hi, and so I was done. He then, decided to continue the conversation all by himself. Honestly, I can’t tell what is going through his mind, and I’m afraid to try to talk to him because it usually ends badly. And me in a worse position to try to fix things than before. :/

    1. admin

      August 3, 2013 at 2:56 am

      Sounds to me like you are in a pretty decent position. I am not seeing why you are out of sorts. Your situation is ideal for these strategies!

    2. Rose

      August 3, 2013 at 5:27 pm

      Really? It just doesn’t feel like it. And at the end of our last conversation we fought and he told me goodbye for good. But still, I’m going to try and work with this. 🙂 My philosophy is that if you love someone once, you can love them again. Thank you.

    3. admin

      August 4, 2013 at 3:12 am

      Do you mind if I steal your philosophy?

    4. Rose

      August 4, 2013 at 4:12 am

      Not at all. I really wish more people could think that way. There would probably be less problems relationship-wise in my opinion if people thought that way. So of course, go ahead.

    5. admin

      August 4, 2013 at 11:47 pm

      Hahaha thank you!

  18. t

    July 29, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    Hi Chris so ive unfortunately been the loser girl. My bf of 3 years broke up with me 3 months ago… we spoke for the first month he gave me false hope then cut me off completely and deleted me from fb. I have been a loser mainly staying home and crying… reading all your pages he seems to have it all right going out having fun etc. Thing is I really do want him back for the right reasons ive checked… do you think there is hope? Any advice? I can say I have been training and toned up and in shape cos in my loser life all I do is go to work go to gym and head home. Ive changed my hair and style too. So looking good but being a loser none the less.

    1. admin

      July 30, 2013 at 2:16 am


      First off you are not a loser. He is the loser. As long as you keep improving yourself he will be the loser in the end. You need to get a little more confidence. I want you to do something completely out of your comfort zone. Do something fun. Go out with your friends to a club and just meet new people and dance the night away.

      I want you to get confident.

      Have you finished your NC period?

    2. t

      August 1, 2013 at 1:05 am

      As mentioned we spoke for the first month. We have had no contact since then from either side so I dont think he wants to speak to me which is why im on this page. Seems he was/is extremely angry and only remembering the bad in our relationship. He did send me a text for my birthday last month which I did acknowledge with a simple thank you. Where do I go from here?

    3. admin

      August 1, 2013 at 5:33 am

      Well, doing a NC rule is ideal. However, if you have already gone a month then you can reach out.

      Wouldn’t it be crazy if he was pulling a NC on you while you were pulling one on him? Hahahaha

    4. t

      August 4, 2013 at 9:16 pm

      Hi chris…
      im actually so nervous of rejection I have no idea what to say… can you maybe suggest something? As mentioned in my first message when last we spoke all he remembered was the bad absolutely no good.. none… he claims I reduced him to nothing and made him so insecure and intimidated. None of your text message examples seem to lend towards my situation? I know his best friend is having a baby do I wait till that happens and congratulate-its next month? Otherwise I can mentions photos I know he would like.. any advice?

    5. admin

      August 5, 2013 at 3:39 am

      Are you still in NC? Sorry, I can’t remember.

  19. Christy

    July 13, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    I did not follow the full 30 day no connect rule. But I did send a “I have a confession” text he said “What” I waited and gave a sincere apology and that he was right and I understood why he did it. That I have had to reflect on my ways and said an inside joke. Then I said “I know it’s late and I have lots to do tomorrow. It’s been a rough week and I needed that to wake up and would love nothing more to make it all up to you I’m truly sorry for how I acted and that’s all behind me and it feels great to be normal again as you put it. Lol I don’t bite” that was last night and no response but I have been claim and not texting. Just want to know really at this point what to do. And trust me if ge wanted to tell me “no” or anything he would have done so

    1. admin

      July 15, 2013 at 5:53 am

      So the confession text worked? Awesome!

      What you do now is focus on reigniting the spark. Check out this page for advice on how to do so using text messages

    2. Cassandra

      September 23, 2013 at 7:44 am

      Hi Chris ,
      I meet this guy thru dating website, at first he was very eager for dating me , but 2 month after we had intimate relations and won’t contact me anymore after that , he even sugested that I can find somebody else.. Not to long ago , i found out that he was dating and ex girlfriend that he had while dating me, but he would not admit that he was dating somebody to me . I called him to say hello and he sounded very sweet and kind ,we were even making jokes. as friendly conversation I ask him if he was dating somebody or of he was marry , but still he won’t say that he has a girlfriend to me , instead he change the conversation .i’ve recently sent him a happy birthday text , but he never replied back .. I really like him a lot and I don’t know what to do for him to reply back to me .. Why he would not say that he has somebody else when I ask him?? It’s been 5 months since last we saw each other , and still he won’t admit to me ..

    3. admin

      September 24, 2013 at 2:29 am

      I have an important question. Have you tried a NC rule before sending any of those texts?

    4. Cassandra

      September 24, 2013 at 3:13 am

      Yes I have , the first time I did 30 days and when I texted him , he replied right away . So we saw each other again and he dissapered again.. I can feel that the attraction is mutual , but he won’t make up his mind ..I implement almost 2 months of no contact after last time we saw each other and when i called him ,he pick up the phone ,he sounded very excited when talking to me over the phone . So ,a week after that I’ve sent him text and no reply since then until today … I am 34 and his 45 years old , but I am very attractive to him . I don’t know what else to do . We are not in a bad term, we decided that maybe we are not meant to each other and I agree , but I am dying to getting him back though .

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