Can I Get My Boyfriend Back If I Give Him Space?

691 thoughts on “Will He Come Back If I Give Him Space”

Pippa

February 19, 2018 at 11:04 pm

Hi Amor, my ex is due to return some of my things and my front door key while I’m out at work some time this week. I’m the kind of person who’d send a thank you text, but I’m guessing NC means I can’t do that? Won’t it seem rude of me or tit-for-tat because he unfriended me on Facebook?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2018 at 12:17 pm

you don’t need to say that.. It will just make it harder for you not to reply if he starts a conversation after you say thank you.

J

February 19, 2018 at 12:23 pm

I’ve never been in this situation before. But I told my boyfriend I wanted to talk. My uncle just passed and it was triggering abandonment issues in me that I wanted to express. I’ll admit I was vague and just said “can we talk?” I thought this might be intepreted, but I also asked if I could sleepover cause I had an early bus the next day — thinking this would reassure him if he thought it was a bad “can we talk”. When I showed up — perfectly normal. He talked about his stomach hurting, he tried to coax me into talking about what I came over to talk about by being cute as I was giggling nervously. I told him “I wanted to be frank avout my feelings because hr usually was and I thought it’d be good for me.” He said something along the lines of “me too” and I pretty much told him I couldn’t say what I wanted freely thinking he had something in the queue. After back and forth, he begins with something about chemistry he felt in previous relationships but not with me. But he claims he overlooked it because everything else was great. He said he didn’t know if I made sense to continue…

At this point I started crying, but covered my face. He reached out for me to come to him, but I recoiled and said “don’t touch me.” I continued to cry. I managed to say “So you’re breaking up with me.” He paused. I think he said “uhhhh…” I said “I think I should go.”

He said “Wait. What did you have to say?”

Anger. “What does it matter now! Who cares.”

He said “It doesn’t matter? Wait. You don’t wanna talk about this?”

Me: “Talk about what! Is anything I say going to change what you’re feeling!”

He pauses again. I kinda lost control of my feelings. Something I’ve never done in our 1.5yr long relationship. I was livid. This guy was trying to tell me his feelings for me were stagnant. I used the word to clarify and he said yes.

I screamed at him about wanting something from the movies and that I wasn’t 15 anymore, knowing there are more important things than just chemistry. I said if everything else checks out what is the problem? He said something about it not being enough.

And I asked him what that meant. He didn’t know. I asked if he was making a distinction between loving me and being IN love with me. He says “what does that even mean?” I asked him why he said he loved me. He couldn’t answer.

He looked shell shocked throughout. I asked why he’d let me stay here. Why would I sleep here now?

Him: “I didn’t think this would happen.”

I pretty much just threw his keys (he had given me a copy months ago) on his bed and said something about how I had abandonment issues and I thought my fears were irrational, but here he was proving me right by leaving me. And this isnt how 1.5yrs end and I didn’t know what to say to him.

He said “Yes, I guess not now. We should talk later.” I left his apartment.

I have no idea what happened. I feel blindsided and confused.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2018 at 11:59 am

HI J,

looks like he falling out of love or losing interest.

Jennifer

February 17, 2018 at 5:51 pm

Why are my comments getting lost?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2018 at 12:33 pm

Hi Jennifer,

It’s still here, it just haven’t been approved yet.. No, you didn’t give your power..that was ok to apologize

Pippa

February 15, 2018 at 8:25 pm

Thanks Amor, I’ll do NC. I don’t even feel like communicating with him right now as it’ll all come out wrong, so it shouldn’t be too difficult. I can’t help wondering if he unfriended me on FB to get a reaction? I didn’t post anything about him or the breakup and was just my usual self as I wanted to look like I was getting on with things instead of moping around. I almost sent him a text asking him why but stopped myself!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2018 at 1:10 am

Yeah, that’s possible that he just wants to see if you’re going to react after that.

Pippa

February 15, 2018 at 5:31 pm

I posted my comment yesterday but it’s not showing – did it come through or should I post it again? Don’t want to overkill.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2018 at 7:04 pm

Start your nc rule of at least 30 days..check this one:
EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Pippa

February 15, 2018 at 4:45 pm

After hearing nothing for 5 days I got a text on Valentine’s Day to say that he’s going through something difficult and needs to get his life back on track without any distractions or complications and whatever the outcome he has to end the relationship. I replied that I thought that we both needed space but if he wants it to be permanent I accept it. I added that in time I hoped we’d be friends as we’ve known each other over 20 years but for now I have to move on. I didn’t expect any reply but he texted that he’d still like to have me in his life in any capacity. We’re still friends on Facebook but I’m using that new ‘take a break’ function so I can’t see his posts or anything he’s tagged in and I’ve temporarily hidden his messages too as it’s all so very recent (today!) and I can’t risk contacting him to pour my heart out. I’ve no idea if he needs space to miss me and sort himself out or if it’s a knee-jerk reaction to the stress he’s under, he says that he feels bad for neglecting me these past few weeks.
I made a huge effort to stay composed with him – he thanked me for my compassion – and then I spent all afternoon crying at my Mum’s house. I’ve lost all hope. And now I see he’s unfriended me on Facebook, but not blocked me.
Andrea

February 14, 2018 at 7:26 pm

am going through something with my introvert partner of 7 months. (We are both in our 40’s) Only have I realized in the last month how introverted he is (and what exactly that means) because he has crashed and burned by not recognizing his need for alone time. I was oblivious to this need and continued accepting the boundless amount of time and energy he was giving me. I love it – but don’t require it. He has some other family and work stresses in his life and I believe he may be suffering from a bit of depression. A month ago we introduced eachother to our kids, and only recently to my family. His pull back and questioning of our relationship was sudden. Within a few days we went from full fledge relationship to crickets He now isn’t sure what he wants. I asked if he was ready for me to walk out of his life and he said he didn’t know. He thinks he’s messed up, not sure he needs/wants to be in a relationship, spooked by the kids/family and what that means (moving in together, etc – which has never been discussed by either of us!) isn’t as attracted to me as he was in the beginning (it was over the top attraction for both of us). He told me he doesn’t think it right to continue while he’s in this ‘mood’. Trust me when I tell you he is not some dirt-bag giving me a line. Introverts are amazing people who just approach things differently. So – knowing he’s an introvert, perfectly content on his own, will the NC rule work?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2018 at 11:05 pm

Hi Andrea,

check this one:
Introverted Ex Boyfriends Vs. Extroverted Ex Boyfriends (How To Approach Them)

Pippa

February 14, 2018 at 7:26 pm

After hearing nothing for 5 days I got a text this morning to say that he’s going through something difficult and needs to get his life back on track without any distractions or complications and whatever the outcome he has to end the relationship. I replied that I thought that we both needed space but if he wants it to be permanent I accept it. I added that in time I hoped we’d be friends as we’ve known each other over 20 years but for now I have to move on. I didn’t expect any reply but he texted that he’d still like to have me in his life in any capacity. We’re still friends on Facebook but I’m using that new ‘take a break’ function so I can’t see his posts or anything he’s tagged in and I’ve temporarily hidden his messages too as it’s all so very recent (today!) and I can’t risk contacting him to pour my heart out. I’ve no idea if he needs space to miss me and sort himself out or if it’s a knee-jerk reaction to the stress he’s under, he says that he feels bad for neglecting me these past few weeks.
I made a huge effort to stay composed with him – he thanked me for my compassion – and then I spent all afternoon crying at my Mum’s house. I’ve lost all hope.
Jenny

February 14, 2018 at 3:58 pm

Test comment
Jennifer

February 13, 2018 at 9:12 pm

Started dating a chef last September. Things were good, it between the holidays, my being out of the country for three weeks after Christmas, our city hosting the Super Bowl, and now Valentine’s Day, we haven’t been able to see each other in almost two months, despite living 20 minutes apart. (FWIW, I’m 52, he’s 40.) His job is so demanding. He literally has not had a day off in weeks; not since before I got back from vacation. This type of schedule is typical for chefs, so I know he’s not avoiding me deliberately. However, my mind is freaking out from missing him and I’ve been asking him “when can I see you?” a LOT. I’m sure my texts have gotten to the gnatting point. Sunday it hit me how little I’ve been respecting the stress he’s been under. So, yesterday morning I sent him a text apologizing for behaving like a jerk, letting him know that the last thing I want to feel like to him is another obligation, and saying to enjoy his week and to say hi when he has time. I haven’t contacted him since. Did I do the right thing? Did I give up power by apologizing? Should I contact him after a week if I haven’t heard back, or just let it go? Thoughts??
Jennifer

February 13, 2018 at 8:38 pm

Been dating a chef since last September. Between the holidays, my being out of the country after Christmas, our city hosting the Super Bowl, and now Valentines Day, I haven’t seen him in almost two months. His job is so demanding! He literally hasn’t had one day off in weeks (definitely not since I’ve been back). This is typical of chefs; he’s not avoiding me on purpose. With that said, I had been freaking out inside from missing him so much that I bugged him about “when can I see you?” a LOT. I couldn’t see beyond my feelings to understand the terrible stress he’s under at work. I’m pretty sure my texts got to the gnatting point. So…yesterday morning I sent him a text apologizing for behaving like a jerk, telling him the last thing I want to feel like to him is another obligation, and asking him to say hi when he has time. I haven’t contacted him since. Did I do the right thing? Did I give up power by apologizing? Should I follow up with him after a week or so, or let it go? Thoughts?? For what it’s worth, I’m 52 and he’s 40, so we’re not kids. 🙂
Tracey

February 12, 2018 at 4:00 am

My boyfriend and I had a big fight on Thursday night and it’s abojt the same thing.. how much he works (90 hours a week) and I’m watching him become so exhausted. We don’t bicker about anything else.. only about not being able to spend any time together. We live together and have 2 dogs. We have been together for about 1.5 years.
He came home after work and decided he wanted to break up, I’m ashamed to admit that I begged him not to and when he got home we agreed on space until Valentine’s Day ironically. He said he still loves me but is exhausted with fighting and it not getting resolved and he is tired, he said we haven’t been right for a while and he doesn’t see it getting better. At that point we agreed I would leave the next morning (last Saturday).
I haven’t heard from him, he hasn’t checked my snap chat or anything and I’m so lost. I’m scared that when I see him on Wednesday he will just end it. Please help. The reason he is working so much is to repair some stuff at home so we can sell and relieve that pressure. It sucks because this weekend he actually has some time off.. and we have a trip planned next month.. we are so close to being able to spend time together..

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2018 at 6:28 pm

Hi Tracey,

Check this one:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

Shaunie

February 11, 2018 at 4:56 am

Hi,
My now ex boyfriend and I were together for about a year and a half. We had spent a lot of time together, we have a lot in common, and have tons of great memories. We both thought that we were soul mates and that we were definitely going to get married. Things changed once he moved to a different state to live with family to get his life together. We tried talking to each other on the phone, facetiming, and texting daily. But, my ex had trust issues and felt like I was possibly cheating on him when I was not (his exes cheated on him before). When I used to text him I used to tell him how much I missed him and that sometimes I felt alone. He took that as I was going to go find someone else to date when I was not. I was totally committed to him and making our relationship work. He decided that he could no longer be my boyfriend because he could not provide for me like he used to, he felt guilty for just leaving me and moving away, he was tired of checking my social media for guys he thought I was seeing, and he said I should keep my options open. But he said that we are just taking a break and that he still wants to marry me and have kids. We deleted each other off social media but he said he still wants to stay in contact with (like text, talk on the phone, and FaceTime) me and be friends. He even texted me after our conversation and asked if I was ok. I implemented the no contact after I responded to him but ever since then he hasn’t tried contacting me. I took this as he needed space to get his life together but I am so confused!!!!! I still really love him but I’m just totally confused by this.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2018 at 1:04 pm

Hi Shaunie,

when did you implement nc? And how much are you improving yourself and how active are you in posting?

Sarah

February 9, 2018 at 9:15 pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months (long distance for half of that). We’re amazing together and so far everything has been great. Recently he’s been going through a lot and expressed he’s feeling lost in life since he lost his job. He started to get distant because of this and while he didn’t outwardly say he needed space… he definitely needed space. I told him that I will give him space to figure out his stuff, but if he needs me I’ll be here. We went from talking all day to now not talking at all for the past couple days. I know I need to give him space to sort out his problems on his own. For smaller problems he usually will be distant for a day and resurface so I know this is just his coping style, but this is the first time it should been this prolonged. How long should I wait before reaching out again? Or should I just wait for him to come to me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2018 at 12:30 pm

Hi Sarah,

check this one:
How Do I Prevent My Boyfriend From Ending Our Relationship

Anne Marie

February 9, 2018 at 4:12 pm

Yes, I know that asking him to be friends isn’t the right thing to do when I want to get him back. I didn’t ask for his permission to be friends. In fact, he asked me this when we broke up, and my first reaction was to turn down his offer, but I had been thinking of this, and all I did in that objective message was to acknowledge him that he was right and that I accepted his offer to be friends for a while and see what would happen.

And I don’t know about that rebound thing. I don’t think I was really a rebound, I don’t know if he had broken up with a girl recently before being with me (I haven’t asked him this, and I’m not going to ever ask him), but he didn’t give me the impression that I was a rebound, simply because he wasn’t a player, he wasn’t that kind of guy who would jump from a relationship to another or who would stay with another girl to make his ex jealous. He just waits until he really is ready to move on, and then he moves on. And there doesn’t seem to be another girl at then moment. From what I’ve heard from him, he’s just doing his usual routine: going to work, being busy with his works and projects and contests and staying with his guy friends. And he’s not that kind of person who spends a lot of time on social media, so there’s no way he would want to make an ex jealous, I guess. Yes, he is online on social media, but he doesn’t post too much/too often. Most of his posts are actually his friends’ posts/check-ins with him. And I was the one who had actually broken up recently with another ex before getting together with this ex, but he wasn’t a rebound, since I didn’t regret the break-up with my other ex (he had been an a**hole with me, that’s why I regret nothing), and I was able to move on.

And dating others… well, I’ve talked to other guys as well, but I didn’t feel emotionally ready to try and go out with them. I don’t want to lose these guys, so maybe I’ll give them a try when I’m ready emotionally. If I had gone out with one of them, I think I would have started a rebound relationship myself in order to make my ex jealous and/or get over him, and I didn’t want that to happen, I didn’t want to play with another guy’s feelings.

And yes, I talked a bit with my ex again, and I greeted him and apologized if I was disturbing him, because I knew he was busy with his work and projects and so on, but I just wanted to talk from time to time when he has time, too. And he replied a bit later by greeting me back and even apologizing for not replying earlier, but he wasn’t at home, he was out with the guys from his team with business things (he also met them when we were together), and I didn’t ask him to tell me why he couldn’t reply, he just told me the reason. We talked a bit, but then again he saw my message, but didn’t reply (again, mixed signals, but I’ve also been told that I should try and take it slow and not to rush things, because he is now busy with his work and maybe he cannot talk as much as I would like him to talk). And I realized that this thing with ending the conversation abruptly has happened before with my friends as well (we would talk and then, all of a sudden, my friends would not reply); the difference here is that I don’t take it personally with my friends, while with my ex I do take it personally, and the situations are the same…

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 12, 2018 at 11:36 pm

That’s good if you’re not a rebound.. You don’t have to go full on romatic one on one dates.. Just go out with somebody else, either one on one or groups..the important thing is you’re getting practice on how to talk and be with other people and how to flirt.. And it’s ok if he’s not active in posting, as long as you are because that’s your indirect way of making him regret when he gets curious and checks your account..

Nikki

February 9, 2018 at 1:04 pm

Hi sarah! I need some advice. My bf and i have recently gotten back together but i found put he was texting another girl he says its nothing they are friends but it broke my heart to read je sent her sweet kisses . That was the only glimpse i caught and he even tried to say she said it to him zzz but i clearly saw it was him…

He didnt apologize, he just said if you wan me to leave i will leave…

Now he is telling me he is dealing with alot of personal issues and he cant handle it having financial problems and doesnt feel he can be the man for me….

Anyways i dont want to rant… basically we are on the verge of breaking up and i want to prevent it ans get back on track with everything… whats my best shot? Should i do no contact ? Suggest a break?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 12, 2018 at 10:53 pm

Hi Nikki,

Did you tell him you saw that it was him that sent that? If yes, then that means he’s lying to you.. Think about whether you still want to try even if you know he’s talking to other girls.. If yes, approach it like this one:
EBR 039: Dealing With An Ex Boyfriend Who Cheats

Anne Marie

February 8, 2018 at 7:33 pm

And BTW, I also wondered if I was a rebound, but, reading among the comments, and personally seeing a friend of mine going through a rebound relationship, I don’t think I was a rebound. My ex didn’t talk about any of his exes, he didn’t even give me any hint that he would miss any of his exes. And when he was on social media, he wouldn’t hide anything from me (he wouldn’t hide his phone or close the tabs on his computer when I was with him; he would even show me what he was talking to his friends – either guys or girls – so that I would laugh as well). The same thing went for when he was talking on the phone: he would always tell me who he talked to and what he talked, he wouldn’t hide anything. If I had been a rebound, maybe he would have hidden things from me at least a bit.

And that friend of mine that I mentioned above was in a rebound relationship without her knowing in the first place. When she first met that guy, he had just broken up with his long term girlfriend (in fact, he still had his relationship with that girl public on social media, but he assured my friend that they had broken up), and used my friend as a rebound in order to make his ex jealous and go over his ex. He asked my friend not to tag him photos, because his ex would see those photos and would get mad, he would even tell my friend how much he missed his ex and how much he wanted his ex back, and would even start crying for his ex, until my friend had had enough of his s*it and broke up with him, and he went back to his ex. I didn’t see any of these things in my ex at all (crying for any of his exes or saying how much he missed any of his exes; he didn’t even mention his ex-girlfriends, only talked about our exes as a metter of facts, and, as I said, he didn’t hide anything from me). And my ex said that he usually starts to move on after 2-3 months, so yeah. Otherwise, he would have told me if there had been someone else when he replied to my message about me agreeing with his decision to stay friends and see what would happen in time.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 12:41 pm

that means you broke nc when you contacted him and that’s good that you kept your message as objective as you can but asking permission to be friends is not that good if you’re trying to get him back.. If he just recently broke up with an ex when he got in a relationship with you, then you could be a rebound whether he hid things or not. The best you can do right now, is to focus more in your life, date others too so that you don’t look like you’re just waiting for him.

Anne Marie

February 8, 2018 at 7:18 pm

Hello again!

Yes, I know I shouldn’t forget about living my life and about the fact that I’ll have to restart everything over with him, that I’ll have to create new feelings in him, and therefore, a new relationship. I know it’s no use to go back to the older relationship.

Anyway, these days, near the end of the NC period, I contacted him, and told him that I had finally agreed to his decision of staying friends for a while, and see what would happen. I told him that I had been thinking of this from time to time, when I had some free time, and he was right: if we’d be together again, I want it to come from both of us following a friendship, I don’t want it to be forced or rushed, either, and that I actually like nice things when they come gradually and in time. I told him that I had been trying to analyze this things from his point of view as well, and that we’d stay friends and talk as friends and see if there could be something between us again, because if we’d get together, then it’d be fine, if not, it’d still be quite fine, since we’d just keep being friends. I tried to be as objective as I could while, at the same, I tried to give my point of view about this issue. I tried to say it very objectively, so that he wouldn’t feel forced to give me a positive answer just to make me feel better. At the end of my message, I asked him if it was OK for him as well, I gave him the option to say either “yes” or “no”, I didn’t want him to feel forced to give me a positive answer just to make me feel better. And he said that what I said seemed OK to him, and that we had been like that (i.e. friends) in this period anyway. He had been seeing me as a friend all the while, but I didn’t see him as a friend… I didn’t see him as an enemy, either; I just saw him as a person that I cared about a lot, but from whom I had to detach myself emotionally for a while, so that I could think more clearly and concentrate on myself, and get to a conclusion/solution/decision that would be favourable to both of us. Then, I tried talking to him normally, he’d keep the pace somehow, but then he suddenly didn’t reply to my last message…. Is this confusing behaviour normal for him under these circumstances? I know that maybe I shouldn’t take it personally, but I do take it like that, unfortunately… I know this may be also because he’s busy with his work. He told me this, and also the fact that he’s now busy with some projects he has to make and with some contests he has to take part in, so this could be another reason for his confusing behaviour.And maybe because he’s busy and knows that if we keep talking in this period, there is a slight chance he may catch feelings for me again, and he may not want this to happen, so that it won’t distract him from his work.

I know I need to take it slowly with him, but what does taking it slowly mean exactly? How can I do that?
Elena

February 6, 2018 at 6:23 pm

Hello. Finally a post on this blog I can totally relate to. (sorry in advance for my English, I’m not mother tongue!).
So, it happens the same exact thing as with you and A. It was really quick and overwhelming and I have never felt like this before for anybody. Like you I was thinking of marrying him ect— We had a great time, we laughed a lot, we had sex of course, we met our friends and families and spent a few weekends away (since we did not have a place for ourselves). It was doing great when he calls up to me after three months and tells me that he needs to be on his own. That he does not have time for girlfriend. I was completely blindsided by it because, as i told you, things were going really really great! I asked him to meet up and at least tell it to my face (hoping that by seeing me he would change his mind!). I was great that night, I nailed it like your friend at the beginning of this article, I told him “you know what, there is nothing I can do about it if you decided, so I understand, go and have time on your own”. And I did not cry. On the other hand, we managed to laugh and actually have a great time even if that was the last time I saw him, as if it was one of our normal dates. I was lucky, he was straightforward: he told me that when he met me he had just broken up with his long term girlfriend and had never really had the chance to be on his own. He said there were things he wanted to try and figured that he did not want to make him wait for him if he did not have the time for me. iI know, what you’re about to say, he was not that into me. Because if he was he would have found the time. Well he did not! And I went NO CONTACT all the way, which was easy because we live in different cities and work in different places. But now, that I am nearly finishing the NO CONTACT period, I feel a bit disappointed that he never tried to reach out. NEVER. What should I do? Is this hopeless? Was this a definitive break up? Was he all fake with me? Was I just the rebound? And if I were, is there hope for rebound loves?
Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2018 at 12:26 pm

Hi Elena,

Yup, it looks like you are a rebound.. Check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

Alex

February 6, 2018 at 7:31 am

Hi,
Stupid story time: my boyfriend broke up with me. It was after a long and drawn out fight we’d had twenty times before. I was very emotional and suggested ending it. He then backtracked entirely and he wound down the fight by texting a loving goodnight text emphasising that he did not want to break up. I sent a text the next morning apologising for my behaviour and believed we were back on track.
Boy was I wrong.
After not hearing from him during the day, I get a message from his friend asking if I was okay and whether I was coming to the party that weekend. Turns out he had messaged a handful of his friends saying that I had broken up with him.
You know what I do. I freak out and call and text a hundred times, hyperventilate in my parked car, the whole lot. I don’t hear from him. Later on in the night I finally get my call picked up but it is by his friend who is over there and tells me to give him space.
I try my hardest. I send him nothing the next day and don’t attend the party. The morning after, I text asking if I can come over to speak in person. He texts back telling me not to call him or text him any more, that it is over. That we made each other miserable and we deserve happiness and just aren’t right for each other (to the hour, a week after him hanging out with my family for three days in a row and going to look at apartments to buy together). He has said during every one of my freak outs that we are right for each other and he was adamant about that.
I freak out again, drive over so he can say it to my face. His sister answers the door and repeats that he knows I’m here but he doesn’t want to see me, before handing me a bag of my things that I’d left there over the two years we had dated.

Since then I have not contacted him. It’s been only three days. He and I are still connected via friends on Facebook and he hasn’t blocked me, he still is in group messages with my friends. Should I do the no contact rule or is there no hope? I knew he loved me when he broke it off. I’m hoping that love won’t go away. I also know in that lovely way that happens when you lose someone exactly what needs to happen for our relationship to be better: I need to listen to him and respect who he is as a person. I need to treat him as a friend first and a partner second, and not weigh all those expectations on him. As you suggest, I need to give him space when asked.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2018 at 12:01 pm

HI Alex.

are you in nc right now? I hope you are..

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