One of the most successful ways of getting your ex back is by implementing my no contact rule, but I’ve seen a lot of my clients struggle because they’re not exactly sure if it’s working.
And that’s totally understandable.
We all get impatient sometimes and want quick payback. Human psychology can be a bit tricky, though, and everyone’s feelings aren’t on the same timeline.
Today, I’ll walk you through the 7 signs that the no contact rule is working on your ex, so you’re 100% sure that you’re not wasting your time.
Here are the 7 signs we’ll be learning about today:
- Your Ex Tries to Get A Hold of You
- You’re Spending More Time on Your Self…And Loving It
- Others Start Finding You More Attractive
- Your Ex Starts Paying Attention to Social Media More
- Your Ex Is More Responsive After No Contact
- Your Ex Begins Sending You Gifts
- Your Ex Asks About You but Not to Your Face
Let’s dive deeper into each of these, so you know exactly what to look for to confirm that your efforts in the no contact rule are not going to waste!
Sign #1: Your ex tries to get a hold of you
This is obviously the most apparent sign that the rule is working well for you because your ex is literally at your doorstep trying to win you back!
We typically recommend three different time frames for the no contact rule:
- 21 days
- 30 days
- 45 days
So, let’s say you choose the 21 day no contact time frame, and your ex consistently reaches out to you throughout that time. What does that mean?
It means that the no contact rule is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do!
Why does it work so well and make them reach out to you? PSYCHOLOGY!
This rule works on a psychological principle called Reactance, which means that we don’t like it when any of our behavioral freedoms are taken away.
Well, the no contact rule means you’re taking away your exes’ freedom of talking to you for a specific period, and that drives them NUTS! No wonder they come back running to you to re-obtain that freedom.
The more ways your ex tries to reach you- the better!
It means their anxiety over your no contact is increasing day by day, and they will exhaust every option they can to reach you. Some may call you; some may text, and some may try to get your attention on Facebook or Instagram.
So, what have we learned?
If your ex is consistently trying to reach out to you, the no contact rule is DEFINITELY working exactly how you wanted it to!
Sign #2: You’re spending more time on yourself… and loving it!
Most of our first-time clients are so obsessed with making their exes miss then when they’re on the no contact rule that they forget about themselves.
So, what about YOU?
How should YOU be feeling during the no contact rule?
The no contact rule gives you the perfect time to put your life back together on your own and put yourself FIRST.
We’ve all heard about the five stages of grief- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
All of our clients go through these five stages, and the no contact rule gives them a perfect time to do that.
You have all the time in the world to let yourself grieve on your own terms. YOU control how sad you feel and for how long. And then you control when you get back up, dust yourself off, and rebuild your life in an image that you WANT.
So, if this no contact period is helping you learn to love yourself again, then that’s the perfect sign that you’re using this time to its fullest potential.
Sign #3: Others start finding you more attractive
In my opinion, this is more of a symptom if you’re doing the no contact rule correctly. You’re probably not doing it right if you’re not getting the attention you deserve from others.
One of the most common concerns from our female clients is “How to get a man to commit to you.”
Well, in a nutshell, for commitment, you need scarcity, urgency, and, most importantly, you need the fear of loss.
What better way to instill that fear in your ex than by letting them see the long line of suitors you have during the no contact rule?
So, feel free to strut your adventures on your social media and get likes and comments from other men. That’ll show your ex what he’s missing, and it’ll give you an epic ego boost.
Sign #4: Your ex starts paying attention to social media more
This sign has nothing to do with other men finding you attractive. It’s more about how your ex is acting on social media.
Facebook is the best social medium to see this sign in action because it allows you to contact your ex during this time indirectly, and it lets them see what you have going on in life too.
So, if your ex starts:
- Liking your photos
- Commenting on your photos
- Reaching out to you via Facebook messenger
Then you KNOW that the no contact rule is definitely working.
Sign #5: Your ex is more responsive after no contact
This might sound paradoxical because you may think that the no contact is only working if your ex reaches out to you more during the no contact period, but that’s not always the case.
So yeah, while your ex reaching out to you during the no contact period is a valid sign, it’s even more compelling if they’re more responsive after the no contact time is completed.
Because it shows that the no contact period primed them to miss you so much that they do not want to risk falling out of contact again, they will then do their best to be more responsive than they have ever been.
Sign #6: Your ex begins sending you gifts
This sign is basically a more exaggerated and desperate version of sign 1. If your ex starts mailing you gifts during the no contact rule, then the rule is working TO THE MAX!
It really doesn’t get better than your ex missing you so much that he starts showering you with thoughtful presents to get your attention back.
What exactly counts as a gift, though?
I’d say anything from a small teddy bear to something huge like tickets to your favorite concert!
The bigger, the better.
Sign #7: Your ex asks about you but not to your face.
This last sign shows up most when you both have mutual friends after a breakup. It means that your ex is still scared to reach out to you directly, so he feels safer speaking to mutual friends.
This usually involves asking friends to ‘spy’ on you to see if you’re actually as happy as you seem on social media.
Literally everyone I know (including myself) has done this at some point in their lives, and I’m 99% sure that you’re nodding your head right now too.
So, if one of your mutual friends come up to you and say that your ex has been asking about you, it means that the no contact rule is working.
However, one mistake that my clients make in desperation to see this sign is pressurizing the mutual friend into divulging information about their ex. Don/t be that person. Pressing your mutual friend for information will only alienate them and force them to choose sides in the breakup, and you NEVER want to do that to a friend.
Let your mutual friend come to you. This might be in the form of a message your ex wants to pass on, or your friend could just be excited to share some gossip with you.Just be patient, and this sign will show itself!
Now let’s recap everything we’ve learned today, so you’re fully equipped to know whether the no contact rule is working for you.
- If your ex reaches out to you directly during the no contact rule, you’re on the right track
- You don’t need your ex to do anything for the no contact rule to work, taking time to focus on YOURSELF is one of the best things in a no contact period
- Let others compliment you! It’ll make your ex jealous and help build up your self-esteem
- If your ex is actively engaging with your social media, the no contact rule is definitely working.
- If your ex is replying faster and more enthusiastically after the no contact period, you’ve primed him perfectly!
- Receiving gifts from your ex is the best manifestation of the no contact rule’s success
- Mutual friends are key to reestablishing indirect communication with your ex but don’t push any friends to oversharing and picking sides if they don’t want to.
So now that you all know the 7 signs that the no contact rule is working, I’d love to hear more from you!
Have you ever experienced any of these signs?
Can you think of any other signs that could signal success of the no contact rule?