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Grace
May 8, 2020 at 9:01 pm
My boyfriend and I “broke up” 3 weeks ago, i reached out to talk about 1.5 week later and we came to the conclusion of a one-month break. The rules were, no talking, but we are still exclusive, and will not be looking/talking to anyone else. But I found out he has recently added a girl that im not familiar with. I want to redefine the ground rules of this “break”. Hes not someone that adds random people he doesnt know and this makes me anxious.
its already been a week into the break. Suggestions?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 19, 2020 at 12:31 pm
Hi Grace, you can not tell him what he can and cant do in regards to his social media and adding new people. All you can do at this point is respect the fact you agreed to be on a break for a month, to which I suggest you do not spend it watching his social media. Instead do things to show him you are not sat at home waiting for him to come back to you. Read about the Ungettable and stick with that. However you need to prepare yourself for him to end the relationship at the end of the break which is going to mean that you then need to do another 30 days NC if you do not use this time wisely. Read about Ungettable and Holy Trinity
Jolene
May 8, 2020 at 9:36 am
Hi Shaunna, thank you a lot for the answer.
No, I don’t have common friends who can help to that. So yes, I’ll focus on texting. After the break up, he used to initiate, but he stopped. And after NC if I start, he takes a day and a half to answer, he is nice and cares about how am I (he’s always been like that, even after the break up, he texted to check on me) but I can’t keep the conversation going. He didn’t even read my last text (from three days ago, answering to his answer to my first one). How much should I wait before I text him again? I’d prefer him to initiate, i don’t want to be a gnat, but I don’t want to loose touch completely (I feel that that’s happening and then I’d be lost). I can wait because I feel bad texting him again but how much? I want to get him back, I want him to be closer. I know that it’s gonna be slow but better slow than nothing. What can I do now?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 12, 2020 at 9:14 pm
Hi Jolene, so you would leave it 3-5 days before a second reach out if you get no reply. If he ignores the next text again then you need to leave it 10 days. I would also change your approach to try to get his interest in the conversation
Lorea
May 4, 2020 at 4:22 pm
What is better when is in the honeymoon period of a new relationship, NC or Being There Method? I don’t feel like talking to him but I’m afraid that, if I disappear, his relationship will get stronger. As a matter of fact, it has grown during a kind of NC process. But I don’t really feel capable of interacting with him when he’s so “in love” with another person. But I want to get him back…
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 7, 2020 at 10:49 pm
Hi Lorea, so when you find that your ex has moved on you must do 45 day No contact first, then start the being there method.
Jolene
May 3, 2020 at 5:08 pm
How can I recover an ex that doesn’t use social media, only texts? The relationship ended three months ago (a month after becoming a LDR, hopefully the distance is temporary but I have nothing fixed yet). At first we kept texting each other but he started to get more unresponsive (he taked days to answer) and I tried NC. I just finished it and text him. He answered a day and a half after, nice but not super close. What can I do? Without the support of social media to play the UG plus being there method I don’t know what to do.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 7, 2020 at 8:52 pm
Hey Jolene, so if he does not use social media, is there any mutual friends that you know he would be speaking to that can see your social media? I would focus on your quality of text rather than reply time, so look at his effort based on word count, or how he replies with interest or lack of interest.
H
May 1, 2020 at 6:53 am
My ex and i were on good terms. however, recently i assumed he’s seeing other girls and he got annoyed. totally agreed my mistake. i apologised for it and asked him if he needs space because we had been having many arguments in that week. his reply was that he doesnt want to say anything. i said okay and that he could say whenever he wanted to. he replied okay. its been four days and we havent chatted at all. he sent a few memes on insta but thats about it. he hasnt messaged on whatsapp. what to do
?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 8, 2020 at 10:37 pm
Hey H if you want your ex back, then you need to start the program with a NC period
Jessica Fox
May 1, 2020 at 12:09 am
Hi,
I recently had a relationship for 5 months with ex. We broke up last night.
The reason we broke up was because he had just got out of a long term relationship and jumped the gun and started dating me. Prior to our last conversation about what are we, we recently came back from vacation and it was the most amazing time. This however scared me and made me feel insecure and had to ask what are we doing. The conversation blew up into him saying that he needs space to be alone. He brought up a day where we had a small argument and said later that night he regretted the argument that all he wanted to do was be with me and never wants me to walk out of his
life.
So the conversation got a bit confusing. We are both crying, he finally admits that he loves me for the first time but backs away and says there are some things about you that I need to think about before continuing.
We continued to cry and hug each other and after a bit we started to reminisce on the good times and we started to laugh. We hugged goodbye and that was that.
We never defined how much time he needed, I feel a bit incomplete about it and obviously I’m heartbroken mopping around the house not eating.
My goal is the to do the no contact for 21 days.
I just want to be with him so much. Old what I am going to do after the 21. Do you think he will reach before? Do you think I will get closure on whether or not he wants to continue? Is this a break up or a needs space? Help.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 7, 2020 at 11:02 pm
Hi Jessica, you need to complete 30 days NC and work on yourself in that time so that he puts higher value in you and realises he let someone great go. Read articles about being Ungettable and use this to re attract your ex, and read articles about the texting phase before you reach out to your ex so that you are fully prepared.
B
April 29, 2020 at 4:18 pm
He is having a “relationship” (they met online three weeks ago, not in person yet, different cities and in my country travelling is forbidden until June at least) and is in the honeymoon period, BIG one. They don’t even meet in person but the “love” declarations in social media (mainly by her) and the fact that they are constantly texting and videocalling each other.
He started ignoring me (we were in the calls phase), even acting as he was mad at me (I’m not doing anything, I don’t even text him, but if he does (small talk), he end up being almost rude, he had never been like that to me). Ten days ago he was already talking to her and she has a strong crush on him, but still he was making plans for seeing each other when we can travel across the country (I live in a different city too). But now he is super in love. In weeks. Days.
It sounds like a GGS or a kinda rebound but what if it isn’t? I am afraid that the social distance keeps making them all in love in this way.
What can I do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 6, 2020 at 7:31 pm
Hey B, I would stop looking at what he is doing online and what he is doing with this new relationship for now. You need to follow a 45 day No Contact where you work on yourself in that time, after that you then start the being there method. You can look this up on this website, be sure to read and understand what it is you need to do before reaching out to him. I would say that this is definitely a rebound and that he is moving so fast that it is going to be over just as fast. Keep your emotional control best you can
Bernice
April 29, 2020 at 10:25 am
Hello. I need help my boyfriend broke up with me because he wants to be alone and he doesn’t want to be accountable for anyone and I agreed to it because it’s not the first time he said this. But I didn’t said what u wrote in this post therefore I’m asking what do we do if we didn’t said what u recommended . We are still talking and staying as friends for now but it feels like things are getting worse and worse. So I need help to get him back .
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 2, 2020 at 3:27 pm
Hi Bernice, you need to go into a No Contact, do not tell him what you plan on doing just stop talking to him for 30 days
Michelle
April 27, 2020 at 8:29 pm
My ex ended our relationship because he said he needed time single. We had only been together 2.5 months and had also had a good amount of fights during that time. However, we also got really close and cared deeply for each other. He had just gotten out of a five year relationship 2 months before he got with me. I don’t think he’ll go back to her though. But if he still needs to grieve that relationship it would make sense that he needs time single. But I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that this decision to have time single was after a fight. How can I get him to see that maybe we can workout our problems because I’m scared he won’t come back since we had some compatibility issues.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 1, 2020 at 10:26 pm
Hi Michelle, I would start your No Contact period and focus on yourself, working on your Holy Trinity and becoming Ungettable. This will give your ex enough time to see that single life isnt as great as he thought and you time to work on becoming the best version of yourself.