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2,741 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

  1. Mei Mei

    January 5, 2017 at 7:41 pm

    Ok this is 31st day of not speaking to my ex and I had planned on sending my first text. However, I sent a message to one of his friends that I thought had a hoodie, that I ordered at the beginning of December, to meet up with him, but he tells me that my ex has it now and he will give it to me next week. My ex has not contact me at all to tell me this so this is the first time of me hearing this. My thing is, do I go ahead with the normal first contact text or ask him about the hoodie?

    1. Mei Mei

      February 1, 2017 at 1:14 am

      Ok, so I waited a week and sent a funny old video of me trying to get his dog to go out into the rain to use the potty and asked is he remember this. He doesn’t reply so I waited a couple of days and sent a picture of truck, that I saw on my way to work, that had a big sticker on the back windshield asking “Got Sand?” showing that hes a fan of the Silver Lake Sand Dunes, which my ex loves to go to. But I didn’t get a response from him at all so I decided to wait another week to send out another text. I was gonna send one out today but my sister sends me a text saying that he’s on okCupid talking to one of her friends. Should I even bothering trying to text him like normal, like I don’t know about him on okCupid, or does this mean I just should give up? Also I had planned on reactivating my account on okCupid just to try to go out and date, but now I don’t know if I should.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 1, 2017 at 2:21 pm

      ok, usually we advice to rest for a week. If he doesn’t reply, rest for two weeks before trying again. If he still doesn’t reply, that means it’s better to move on..

    3. Mei Mei

      January 19, 2017 at 4:24 am

      Thank you. He ended up texting me to wish me a happy birthday today and to tell me to he dropped off the hoodie at my house while I was out. I thanked him and remembered that I lost one of my earrings and told him to look out for it, he said that he would keep an eye out for it. I ended our conversation by telling him I was go and enjoy the rest of my birthday and he told me to take care. It seemed we ended on a good note but I think I’m still gonna wait a week before I try to text him again though

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 20, 2017 at 3:52 pm

      ok.. that’s good..

    5. Mei Mei

      January 17, 2017 at 3:54 am

      Ok, our conversations started very slow, I had to skip a day whenever he didn’t respond so but I got him to text me back. He mentioned about giving me the hoodie supposedly last week but I went out of town to work for that week. He asked if I was staying permanently but I told him it was temporary. He sounded concerned but its kind of hard to tell from text. But while I was away we were talking and I was kind of using the new rules of texting except I mixed up with day 4 and 5 and didn’t send out funny text. He still responded to my texts though and we kind of went back and forth within the text limits of the day. However, when it came to the end of day 6 he never replied to my last text or to day 7’s text. I tried again today, the next day, and nothing. So now I’m just gonna give it a day or two before I try again.

      I want to know if I goofed up by not sending out anything funny on the days that I was suppose to send them. I kept the topic about his truck, something he loves, and the stuff he would do with it, he even sent me pictures of the new stuff he put on it.

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2017 at 6:25 pm

      not really.. but I think you nees to rest for a week for now

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 7, 2017 at 5:23 am

      HI Mei mei,

      you can do both if you want. Ask about the hoodie in the end of the first contact message.

  2. Min

    December 29, 2016 at 7:29 am

    Hi
    I’m just about finishing 30 day no contact and feel so much stronger in myself. I wanted to know under what circumstances 45 day NC was appropriate please? I discovered my fiancé and partner of 8 years had been recently sleeping with a work colleague. As far as I know they are still together (she wasn’t married and due to leave her husband). Am I playing with fire and likely to get burned or is the likelihood that the relationship is rebound? Sadly I didn’t know about this website until about 6 weeks after we split. We had positive messages in that time until he posted a #break away which precipitated NC for me. 30 days is up on 1 Jan! (It will be 10 weeks in total from the spilt). Do I text? Will the format work if he’s with someone else?
    Thank you so much.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 30, 2016 at 11:09 am

      Hi Min, The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

      There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work, no matter what the situation is. I think he’s in a grass is greener syndrome. Read the post below and then decided if you want to extend to 45 days..and how much did you improve during nc?

  3. dm

    December 27, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    Hey,
    I was blocked after the breakup through the applications and phone. After one month of no contact rule, I emailed him and wished him to have great holidays. He replied and wished me the same. Should I now ask him to unblock me as we can get into a causal friendship? and when should I reply back? after a day or a week?
    Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 29, 2016 at 3:51 pm

      Hi Dm,

      did you reply? what did you say?

  4. Sarah

    December 27, 2016 at 6:42 am

    Hello!

    I just want to start this by saying that I am 18 years old, and my ex is 19. We dated for 2 1/2 years before he randomly ended it with me about a month ago. We didn’t fight a lot or anything, but he told me that “he doesn’t feel the same way anymore” and that “he was confused about his feelings since the summer.” However, in those months between summer and when he ended it, he came home for me (he goes to college and I am a senior in high school), he would send me gifts, and just do selfless things for me. After our break up, he invited me to a house party that he was throwing, and I went. But when I was there, he was completely ignoring me, even though he was the one that invited me. I want him back. I don’t know what my chances are. I just started the NC, and I have high hopes, I just want reassurance.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 29, 2016 at 10:43 am

      Hi Sarah,

      aim to be this:
      The Ungettable Girl

  5. Carrie

    December 26, 2016 at 3:03 am

    Hey, I need help. I did the no contact rule (3 weeks after the break up). Received no text messages during it but when I got back in contact the response was pretty positive and receptive. We’ve been talking on an off, I’ve sent the right types of messages (maybe not to the point but as best as I can, step by step). I’m just freaking out because what if he’s just being nice and friendly, and I’m just getting my hopes high for no reason? Also freaking out because NYE is near and I really fear him moving on (which is silly, I know). Not sure how to go about doing the phone call and meet up. Do I try and meet up before NYE to keep me on his mind or do I leave it till after. Also I still have his stuff and his mine and neither of us seem that fussed on exchanging them. Will leaving it there mean something or is it just false hope? I’m going crazy over-thinking and running with my emotions and I really need some advice! As the no-contact worked good even for me – I felt almost back to my normal, confident self again and stable! Thanks!

    1. Carrie

      January 1, 2017 at 1:17 am

      We were texting for about two weeks from mid December. He seemed really receptive and then I mentioned calling and bam, he went silent. So a day after I sent another text. No reply. It’s been about 4-5 days now and I’ve kind of just left it. Part of me wants to just move on actually and avoid this ridiculous chasing and drama. I still care so so deeply as we had a great relationship and split up over a difference in opinion. But if someone doesn’t want your love, then, ya know? Just got to take charge and somehow get my things back so I don’t keep expecting a message regarding them..

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 1, 2017 at 7:34 pm

      I agree.. It’s really better to move on

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2016 at 5:00 pm

      Hi Carrie,

      how long have you been texting?

  6. Dale

    December 19, 2016 at 11:33 pm

    Hi amor I am writing to you one last time just to update you on my journey. I purchased PRO and I believe I really followed the rules that Chris laid out and they worked in the sense my ex and I started to talk again and he started to reach out to me and we’d flirt often and I could just tell things felt just like before and then I got to “the talk” part and it went completely unexpected. He said he likes me but he just doesn’t want a relationship with me and he doesn’t ever see one with me in the future. I responded saying then why do you want me around and want to keep talking and hanging out and he was like yeah you’re right we maybe shouldn’t talk then because I don’t see any potential in us. Mind you all of our issues came AFTER the breakup. He also told me that during my no contact he slept with someone unprotected, went to lunch with someone else and talked to her for a few weeks. I still don’t understand what went wrong and I wish this would have worked but I guess it’s not meant to be

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 22, 2016 at 12:46 pm

      Hi Dale,

      yeah, it’s either you move on or at least do a longer nc, move on without fully moving on in the hope of a restart

  7. May

    December 17, 2016 at 9:01 am

    Hi,
    I wasn’t sure if my msg was posted properly. i did the NC but only for 14 days. I thought i was ready. I msg him a gentle opening on something that i saw that reminded me of him and wish him a good day. He reply with wishing me a good day. The reply is very neutral but part of me feel it is him trying to keep his distance from me just in case because he know when we broke up that i want to get back together again and he feel that it is not possible after our communication break down.

    I am working on myself and frankly speaking i only want to try again because i realise the mistake i made and want a 2nd chance. But i also understand the part that it also depend on him. He is quite a stubborn guy.

    What should i do? is there hope or should i just give up? should i try texting him after a few days and slowly build the connection? or is he not ready yet and i should start the 30 days again?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2016 at 2:15 pm

      Hi May,

      how long was the relationship? And yes, you were emotionally ready to text him at day 14, but how much did you really change? Realistically, he wouldn’t think you changed just after two weeks. You were less emotional, that’s it. But that doesn’t mean you’ve really changed..

  8. Linda

    December 15, 2016 at 3:00 am

    My ex boyfriend and I went out for a couple years. Right before we broke up we kind of have been arguing a lot. We lost our virginities to each other and he broke up with me and said he loves me he just wants to experience other things and doesn’t want a relationship. At first we remained friends until i found out he lied to me and is talking to another girl and is planning to date her, a girl we have previously argued about. The last thing i said to him was “i hope you two last” a week ago and he never responded and i haven’t texted him again. They’re always together and are happy. If i do the no contact thing for 30 days and then text him will be even respond? Because he isn’t even trying to talk to me at all.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2016 at 10:57 am

      Hi Linda,

      there’s no guarantee in that.. But the no contact period is more for you to heal and improve.. It’s not just for him to contact or talk to you because you were silent

  9. June

    December 14, 2016 at 4:16 am

    Hi Amor,
    I am very eager to get your advice on the questions I sent in about 5 days ago. I bet that it is pretty hard to get to all our questions but I hope that I am up next!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2016 at 1:44 am

      Hi June,

      I did answer it but 3 days later after your post date. I’ll just copy paste my answer there here ok? Thank you for being patient 🙂

      Hi June,

      I’m confused. Did you break up a year ago? But you did nc for the last two months of that year? So, right now, him and the other woman are going 8 months together?

  10. Tarah

    December 13, 2016 at 1:49 am

    I fell for another guy while I was in a relationship he was in one as well. He broke up with his gf so we could sleep together although I was still with my bf (yes I know I cheated). My bf of 13 and I recently ended things but this guy I cheated with even though we aren’t official, he spends a lot of time with his ex he even stays the night at her house and says they aren’t having sex. He’s always doing things for her. He even requests days off work to take her and drop her off at the airport. He’s planning on staying the night at her house because his roommate is gonna have a friend over. What is happening? He broke up with her to be with me and claims he loves me and wants to marry me but he’s not over her in a way it seems like. I have told him it makes me upset that he still hangs out with her but he still goes to spend time her he says her house is comfortable and because I live with my grandma and am 15 minutes away, he doesn’t see a reason to stay at my house on New Year’s Eve just because she lives down the street.
    Please help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 13, 2016 at 7:47 pm

      Hi Tarah,

      it looks like what you think it is.. He misses her. Maybe they are not really back together, but they’re definitely on that road. He just doesn’t want to admit it to you and maybe to himself as well. Decide if you still want to try it with him. If you want to, do you want to do the no contact rule?

  11. S.

    December 8, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    Hi!
    My ex and I broke up about a month ago. Yesterday I ended the NC and wrote him a “do you remember this”-text. A few hours later I got a positive repsons. Today I texted him again. My question is: How do I get him to initiate the conversation? It shouldn’t be me that begin the conversation every time, right?
    /S

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 10, 2016 at 11:48 am

      Hi S,

      it’s ok to initiate, what’s more important is that you’re the one to end the conversation at high point. Try to end in cliffhanger, for a higher chance of him initiating..

  12. Gail

    December 8, 2016 at 10:30 am

    Good day Chris & Team.

    I want to start off by thanking you guys, again, for your hard work and dedication.

    I’ve read ‘Using male psychology to get your ex boyfriend back’

    After reading, i realised some important things. Firstly, i so wish i came across this website earlier.

    Secondly, that my ex boyfriend is the ‘Super committed’ The part where you say: ‘What you could do to make things easier for them is to continually reassure them that you are theirs. Men like this do need a lot of reassurance. Its just the way they are’ This part stood out for me.

    I’ve asked for advice on your website before. (26 Nov; How to use text messages to get your ex back).

    Just to remind you about my story. My ex boyfriend’s reason for breaking up with me was that he wants to move back to his hometown to be closer to his daughter. Later i found out that him and his daughter’s mother are back together. Mutual friends told me that she is using their daughter to manipulate him. I feel that she doesn’t love him, she’s just using him for his money, since she hasn’t been working for some time now.

    After realising that my ex boyfriend is the ‘Super committed’ i also realised that i didn’t do my part of reassuring him continuously during our relationship.

    Like I’ve said before, this guy is really special to me and i do want him back.
    Last time you advised me to keep on improving myself and I’ve been doing it and I’m actually enjoying it also.

    By taking this mistake i made during our relationship in consideration, i need more advice please.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2016 at 1:01 pm

      Hi Gail,

      if he really back together and she is just using the child to get him back, then if you keep improving yourself, he will later on compare you to her. So, just keep improving yourself. If you are going to talk to him, don’t chase. Take it slow.

  13. Tasha

    December 6, 2016 at 1:35 am

    Hello. I have been talking to this guy from e about 7 months. When we began talking I took my time getting to know him. I waited 4 months before we had sex. He was very responsible and respected me then. We went out all the time and traveled. Now, he ended up moving out of his apartment cause his lease was up and he has been staying with his mom. He works day and night. So most of the time when I see him he comes to my house and stays the night most times. Now it has got to the point where when he tells me he is coming over he usually does. But now he stood me up 4 nights in a row and his main excuse is “I fell asleep”. He don’t even call or text when he wakes up and atleast apologizes for standing me up. So after the last time I completely cut him off. I didn’t talk to him for 3 days and he is not considered an (ex) yet cause we haven’t confirmed a break up. But he has been texting me constantly and no phone calls yet. I don’t know if he is cheating or not but I feel that he has disrespected me and I don’t like the feeling of it cause I really care about him and want to be with him cause he is a really good guy but I just don’t know where to go from here. Do I continue not to contact him or talk to him. And I’ve talked to him 3 times before that his communication needs to improve. What do I do?!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 9, 2016 at 1:54 am

      Hi Tasha,

      You have to talked to him already? Well, if it didn’t work, do you want to try the no contact rule now?

  14. Clarice

    December 5, 2016 at 2:49 am

    So my ex dumped me over text 6 weeks ago. We’ve barely spoken since….i did the “crazy texts “after we broke up constantly for the 1st 4 days and then once a week for the next 2 weeks. After the 13th of November, i stopped. I went nc.
    On friday a mutual friend went out to eat lunch with my ex. The friend and i play an app game that involves trivia and it went off during their lunch…. i had no idea they were out to lunch, just playing our stupid game lol. Well, our friend said that since it was on the table he opened it to see it was our game, my ex got curious about the game not knowing he was playing me. He grabbed the phone and saw my name and picture. Our friend said he looked at it for several minutes not saying anything, but eventually taking his glasses off and wiping tears from his eyes. Our friend asked if he wanted to talk. My ex said no, that ive probably moved on or hate him. Our friend said that neither was true, that im still hurt, but nothing to what he said. My ex apparently remained kind of depressed throughout lunch but didn’t want to talk.
    So today i broke nc but all i sent was something i knew hed enjoy, a link to a new beer from a brewery we loved to frequent. I also told him i hoped he was doing well.
    Its only been a few hours but i didnt get a response. Hes obviously still has feelings or something to that effect. We dated 2 yrs, i am 36 hes 45.
    We broke up because he didn’t want to move in together, pretty much commitment issues.
    What if i dont hear back? When to reach out again? Or go NC again? For how long?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2016 at 3:23 pm

      HI Clarice,

      so it was just 22 days no contact? If he doesn’t respond, wait a week before trying again. If he doesn’t respond again, wait two weeks before trying again. If he still doesn’t respond after that, it means you have to move on.

  15. Melissa M.

    December 4, 2016 at 11:10 pm

    Hi,
    I had recently started talking to a great guy I met. We were clicking really well, and things were moving nicely. However, my brother whom Inclose to was in a car accident, and then as the week progressed a family friend of mine passed away. One thing after the other. Instead of asking him to be there for me, I asked him for space stated I had a rough day. I let him know through out the week what was happening, and pursued to state I knew we weren’t anything, yet I knew we are both interested in one another. This week has been hard as i have lost my grandma two years ago, this summer a friend killed himself, another trying to shoot himself. I had told him that while I’m excited to be in a relationship, I am not ready at this point in time. Instead of allowing him to be there for me I pushed him away, as I have been taking care of myself for a long time. I’m not sure what to do. And some help would be greatly appreciated, as I do like him. I wasn’t sure how appropriate it would be to involve him, as we have barely started something.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2016 at 12:12 pm

      HI MM,

      I’m sorry for everything that happened to your loved ones. But with all due respect, you have to let go or be at peace with some of them that happened years before, because you have to live in the present and theyre at peace in heaven now too. And with the new guy, he’s probably just reacting to your request, so if you want more connection, just initiate. He’s just respecting your space because you asked ‘for it. So, he’s more likely going to respond positively if you message him positively too. That is if you want to, that would be your decision…

  16. Jennifer

    December 4, 2016 at 10:05 pm

    It’s been a couple a weeks now, that he’s saying that hes thinking about getting back with me, but he hasn’t said it yet. I asked him he was more on the side of not coming back or coming back, he said more on coming back but give me this weekend to tell you. But everytime he says that, he dosen’t give me an answer. What should I do? Like to make him commit to me again or wtv?

    Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      Stop asking and start focusing more yourself.. you’re starting to look like you’re waiting or chasing him..

  17. Danni

    December 4, 2016 at 6:37 pm

    I need advice please, I completed no contact and then started texting my ex of 9 years. It was all going well until I said something in a jokey way that I think he took wrong! Now I haven’t heard from him how long should I wait to text him again? Or should I just leave it 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2016 at 11:59 am

      when was that? How long hasn’t he texted you?

  18. jennefer

    December 3, 2016 at 6:26 am

    I want him back, I need him. I’m Broke right now because of him. I want him to appreciate my feelings for him. I still LOVE HIM, I really do. I want him to feel the same. I want that our relationship will BACK.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 3, 2016 at 5:09 pm

      Hi Jennefer,

      why did you break up? How long were you together? How old are you both?

  19. michelle

    December 2, 2016 at 8:48 am

    hello, my boyfriend and I broke up 3 month ago. We had to break up several times before. Our relationship went back and forth. Basically its because we were in long distance, he wanted me to move to his country and get married next year at least, but I insisted to stay on my country and have my career for 1 or 2 years in my country. We had argued over this issue alot. We both didn’t wanted to sacrifice..I wanted him to be patient with me, but he wasn’t. But I have missed him .. Should I message him. I am confused if I tried to go back to relationship with him and end up breaking up again or He already moved on.. What should I do 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 2, 2016 at 7:11 pm

      Hi Michelle,

      you need to check this:
      What It Takes To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

  20. Gail

    November 30, 2016 at 4:24 am

    Good day.

    Thanks so much for your reply. (28 Nov 2016)

    Im a very independent person and in the past, i just moved on from break ups. But this guy is really special to me, so i want to do this and do it right.

    So with improving myself, i should do things for me, take care of myself  build confidence etc….

    But how will he notice that? Through social media?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      HI Gail,

      You’re welcome! Yes, be active in posting in social media.

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