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2,733 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

  1. Avatar

    May

    December 17, 2016 at 9:01 am

    Hi,
    I wasn’t sure if my msg was posted properly. i did the NC but only for 14 days. I thought i was ready. I msg him a gentle opening on something that i saw that reminded me of him and wish him a good day. He reply with wishing me a good day. The reply is very neutral but part of me feel it is him trying to keep his distance from me just in case because he know when we broke up that i want to get back together again and he feel that it is not possible after our communication break down.

    I am working on myself and frankly speaking i only want to try again because i realise the mistake i made and want a 2nd chance. But i also understand the part that it also depend on him. He is quite a stubborn guy.

    What should i do? is there hope or should i just give up? should i try texting him after a few days and slowly build the connection? or is he not ready yet and i should start the 30 days again?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2016 at 2:15 pm

      Hi May,

      how long was the relationship? And yes, you were emotionally ready to text him at day 14, but how much did you really change? Realistically, he wouldn’t think you changed just after two weeks. You were less emotional, that’s it. But that doesn’t mean you’ve really changed..

  2. Avatar

    Linda

    December 15, 2016 at 3:00 am

    My ex boyfriend and I went out for a couple years. Right before we broke up we kind of have been arguing a lot. We lost our virginities to each other and he broke up with me and said he loves me he just wants to experience other things and doesn’t want a relationship. At first we remained friends until i found out he lied to me and is talking to another girl and is planning to date her, a girl we have previously argued about. The last thing i said to him was “i hope you two last” a week ago and he never responded and i haven’t texted him again. They’re always together and are happy. If i do the no contact thing for 30 days and then text him will be even respond? Because he isn’t even trying to talk to me at all.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2016 at 10:57 am

      Hi Linda,

      there’s no guarantee in that.. But the no contact period is more for you to heal and improve.. It’s not just for him to contact or talk to you because you were silent

  3. Avatar

    June

    December 14, 2016 at 4:16 am

    Hi Amor,
    I am very eager to get your advice on the questions I sent in about 5 days ago. I bet that it is pretty hard to get to all our questions but I hope that I am up next!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2016 at 1:44 am

      Hi June,

      I did answer it but 3 days later after your post date. I’ll just copy paste my answer there here ok? Thank you for being patient ๐Ÿ™‚

      Hi June,

      Iโ€™m confused. Did you break up a year ago? But you did nc for the last two months of that year? So, right now, him and the other woman are going 8 months together?

  4. Avatar

    Tarah

    December 13, 2016 at 1:49 am

    I fell for another guy while I was in a relationship he was in one as well. He broke up with his gf so we could sleep together although I was still with my bf (yes I know I cheated). My bf of 13 and I recently ended things but this guy I cheated with even though we aren’t official, he spends a lot of time with his ex he even stays the night at her house and says they aren’t having sex. He’s always doing things for her. He even requests days off work to take her and drop her off at the airport. He’s planning on staying the night at her house because his roommate is gonna have a friend over. What is happening? He broke up with her to be with me and claims he loves me and wants to marry me but he’s not over her in a way it seems like. I have told him it makes me upset that he still hangs out with her but he still goes to spend time her he says her house is comfortable and because I live with my grandma and am 15 minutes away, he doesn’t see a reason to stay at my house on New Year’s Eve just because she lives down the street.
    Please help.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 13, 2016 at 7:47 pm

      Hi Tarah,

      it looks like what you think it is.. He misses her. Maybe they are not really back together, but they’re definitely on that road. He just doesn’t want to admit it to you and maybe to himself as well. Decide if you still want to try it with him. If you want to, do you want to do the no contact rule?

  5. Avatar

    S.

    December 8, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    Hi!
    My ex and I broke up about a month ago. Yesterday I ended the NC and wrote him a “do you remember this”-text. A few hours later I got a positive repsons. Today I texted him again. My question is: How do I get him to initiate the conversation? It shouldn’t be me that begin the conversation every time, right?
    /S

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 10, 2016 at 11:48 am

      Hi S,

      it’s ok to initiate, what’s more important is that you’re the one to end the conversation at high point. Try to end in cliffhanger, for a higher chance of him initiating..

  6. Avatar

    Gail

    December 8, 2016 at 10:30 am

    Good day Chris & Team.

    I want to start off by thanking you guys, again, for your hard work and dedication.

    I’ve read ‘Using male psychology to get your ex boyfriend back’

    After reading, i realised some important things. Firstly, i so wish i came across this website earlier.

    Secondly, that my ex boyfriend is the ‘Super committed’ The part where you say: ‘What you could do to make things easier for them is to continually reassure them that you are theirs. Men like this do need a lot of reassurance. Its just the way they are’ This part stood out for me.

    I’ve asked for advice on your website before. (26 Nov; How to use text messages to get your ex back).

    Just to remind you about my story. My ex boyfriend’s reason for breaking up with me was that he wants to move back to his hometown to be closer to his daughter. Later i found out that him and his daughter’s mother are back together. Mutual friends told me that she is using their daughter to manipulate him. I feel that she doesn’t love him, she’s just using him for his money, since she hasn’t been working for some time now.

    After realising that my ex boyfriend is the ‘Super committed’ i also realised that i didn’t do my part of reassuring him continuously during our relationship.

    Like I’ve said before, this guy is really special to me and i do want him back.
    Last time you advised me to keep on improving myself and I’ve been doing it and I’m actually enjoying it also.

    By taking this mistake i made during our relationship in consideration, i need more advice please.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2016 at 1:01 pm

      Hi Gail,

      if he really back together and she is just using the child to get him back, then if you keep improving yourself, he will later on compare you to her. So, just keep improving yourself. If you are going to talk to him, don’t chase. Take it slow.

  7. Avatar

    Tasha

    December 6, 2016 at 1:35 am

    Hello. I have been talking to this guy from e about 7 months. When we began talking I took my time getting to know him. I waited 4 months before we had sex. He was very responsible and respected me then. We went out all the time and traveled. Now, he ended up moving out of his apartment cause his lease was up and he has been staying with his mom. He works day and night. So most of the time when I see him he comes to my house and stays the night most times. Now it has got to the point where when he tells me he is coming over he usually does. But now he stood me up 4 nights in a row and his main excuse is “I fell asleep”. He don’t even call or text when he wakes up and atleast apologizes for standing me up. So after the last time I completely cut him off. I didn’t talk to him for 3 days and he is not considered an (ex) yet cause we haven’t confirmed a break up. But he has been texting me constantly and no phone calls yet. I don’t know if he is cheating or not but I feel that he has disrespected me and I don’t like the feeling of it cause I really care about him and want to be with him cause he is a really good guy but I just don’t know where to go from here. Do I continue not to contact him or talk to him. And I’ve talked to him 3 times before that his communication needs to improve. What do I do?!!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 9, 2016 at 1:54 am

      Hi Tasha,

      You have to talked to him already? Well, if it didn’t work, do you want to try the no contact rule now?

  8. Avatar

    Clarice

    December 5, 2016 at 2:49 am

    So my ex dumped me over text 6 weeks ago. We’ve barely spoken since….i did the “crazy texts “after we broke up constantly for the 1st 4 days and then once a week for the next 2 weeks. After the 13th of November, i stopped. I went nc.
    On friday a mutual friend went out to eat lunch with my ex. The friend and i play an app game that involves trivia and it went off during their lunch…. i had no idea they were out to lunch, just playing our stupid game lol. Well, our friend said that since it was on the table he opened it to see it was our game, my ex got curious about the game not knowing he was playing me. He grabbed the phone and saw my name and picture. Our friend said he looked at it for several minutes not saying anything, but eventually taking his glasses off and wiping tears from his eyes. Our friend asked if he wanted to talk. My ex said no, that ive probably moved on or hate him. Our friend said that neither was true, that im still hurt, but nothing to what he said. My ex apparently remained kind of depressed throughout lunch but didn’t want to talk.
    So today i broke nc but all i sent was something i knew hed enjoy, a link to a new beer from a brewery we loved to frequent. I also told him i hoped he was doing well.
    Its only been a few hours but i didnt get a response. Hes obviously still has feelings or something to that effect. We dated 2 yrs, i am 36 hes 45.
    We broke up because he didn’t want to move in together, pretty much commitment issues.
    What if i dont hear back? When to reach out again? Or go NC again? For how long?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2016 at 3:23 pm

      HI Clarice,

      so it was just 22 days no contact? If he doesn’t respond, wait a week before trying again. If he doesn’t respond again, wait two weeks before trying again. If he still doesn’t respond after that, it means you have to move on.

  9. Avatar

    Melissa M.

    December 4, 2016 at 11:10 pm

    Hi,
    I had recently started talking to a great guy I met. We were clicking really well, and things were moving nicely. However, my brother whom Inclose to was in a car accident, and then as the week progressed a family friend of mine passed away. One thing after the other. Instead of asking him to be there for me, I asked him for space stated I had a rough day. I let him know through out the week what was happening, and pursued to state I knew we weren’t anything, yet I knew we are both interested in one another. This week has been hard as i have lost my grandma two years ago, this summer a friend killed himself, another trying to shoot himself. I had told him that while I’m excited to be in a relationship, I am not ready at this point in time. Instead of allowing him to be there for me I pushed him away, as I have been taking care of myself for a long time. I’m not sure what to do. And some help would be greatly appreciated, as I do like him. I wasn’t sure how appropriate it would be to involve him, as we have barely started something.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2016 at 12:12 pm

      HI MM,

      I’m sorry for everything that happened to your loved ones. But with all due respect, you have to let go or be at peace with some of them that happened years before, because you have to live in the present and theyre at peace in heaven now too. And with the new guy, he’s probably just reacting to your request, so if you want more connection, just initiate. He’s just respecting your space because you asked ‘for it. So, he’s more likely going to respond positively if you message him positively too. That is if you want to, that would be your decision…

  10. Avatar

    Jennifer

    December 4, 2016 at 10:05 pm

    It’s been a couple a weeks now, that he’s saying that hes thinking about getting back with me, but he hasn’t said it yet. I asked him he was more on the side of not coming back or coming back, he said more on coming back but give me this weekend to tell you. But everytime he says that, he dosen’t give me an answer. What should I do? Like to make him commit to me again or wtv?

    Thank you

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      Stop asking and start focusing more yourself.. you’re starting to look like you’re waiting or chasing him..

  11. Avatar

    Danni

    December 4, 2016 at 6:37 pm

    I need advice please, I completed no contact and then started texting my ex of 9 years. It was all going well until I said something in a jokey way that I think he took wrong! Now I haven’t heard from him how long should I wait to text him again? Or should I just leave it ๐Ÿ™

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2016 at 11:59 am

      when was that? How long hasn’t he texted you?

  12. Avatar

    jennefer

    December 3, 2016 at 6:26 am

    I want him back, I need him. I’m Broke right now because of him. I want him to appreciate my feelings for him. I still LOVE HIM, I really do. I want him to feel the same. I want that our relationship will BACK.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 3, 2016 at 5:09 pm

      Hi Jennefer,

      why did you break up? How long were you together? How old are you both?

  13. Avatar

    michelle

    December 2, 2016 at 8:48 am

    hello, my boyfriend and I broke up 3 month ago. We had to break up several times before. Our relationship went back and forth. Basically its because we were in long distance, he wanted me to move to his country and get married next year at least, but I insisted to stay on my country and have my career for 1 or 2 years in my country. We had argued over this issue alot. We both didn’t wanted to sacrifice..I wanted him to be patient with me, but he wasn’t. But I have missed him .. Should I message him. I am confused if I tried to go back to relationship with him and end up breaking up again or He already moved on.. What should I do ๐Ÿ™

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 2, 2016 at 7:11 pm

      Hi Michelle,

      you need to check this:
      What It Takes To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

  14. Avatar

    Gail

    November 30, 2016 at 4:24 am

    Good day.

    Thanks so much for your reply. (28 Nov 2016)

    Im a very independent person and in the past, i just moved on from break ups. But this guy is really special to me, so i want to do this and do it right.

    So with improving myself, i should do things for me, take care of myselfย  build confidence etc….

    But how will he notice that? Through social media?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      HI Gail,

      You’re welcome! Yes, be active in posting in social media.

  15. Avatar

    Nana

    November 28, 2016 at 9:05 pm

    hi, Im really thankful for your page, it helped me through a lot! It gave me comfort when ntg else could and encouraged me to stay nc.
    for 2 years I was in ldr and then at the end we were both very busy and angry and fighting and so on and I first suggested a break up, but then realized I dint mean it and we stayed together. however, we kept fighting and 2 weeks later my ex bf broke up with me. then he still contacted me and wanted to be friends, which I always declined and wanted us to be together which he declined… that went on for 1 month when we went nc for 3 months. I moved on with my life meaning: having new hobies, trying to be calmer and positive, feeling ok, working on my career, not feeling pitty for myself, being ok with break up and seeing it as a possibility to grow that was necessary, etc. however, I knew I wanted him back still and was thinking of contacting him (1 month nc was over quiet a while), but was still a bit afraid, I would be disappointed if I would end up being friend zoned and I was postponing it till I felt totally ready. I think I was like 90% ready to manage my expectations. and then he contacted me 1 week ago on fb (we always spoke there, since he had no phone…). He basically said he is interested how I was doing and that he saw some pics of me surfing and that it looks fun. then he said he was sorry he hadnt sent my things back and that the reason was he had lost my father’s watch I lended to him and how sorry he was. (the watch means a lot to me and I I was quiet hesitant to lend it to him, but he promised to take good care of it). and then it got into how he wishes me the best and that he would be happy if he could hear stg back from me.
    it’s been a week and I cant bring myself to answer him. I took myself time to reconsider again firstly if I even want him back again. and Im absolutley sure I do. I love him and I think I have changed enough (gained calmness and confidence-that was the main problem I think), however, Im rather scared that he just wrote to me to tell me about the watch and to get it off of his shoulders. and I also dont know how exactly I should reply to maximase my chances in this situation, etc. any help/thoughts appreciated! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 6:27 pm

      Hi Nana,

      I think you should start slowly building rapport… Initiate conversations.. Use topics that he loves talking about

  16. Avatar

    Leena

    November 28, 2016 at 8:26 pm

    Hello ! Before nearly 4 mnth i started talking to a guy. He had a gf and their relationship was there since 2 years but they didnot had enough time for each other .his gf was ignoring and hurting him . I talked to him as a friend then we turned out to be lovers . He too fall in love with me and i fell for him too . But still he had next girl in his life (his gf ) then i broke up with him .. and told him i am leaving and texted him many sad messages but he told me he dont wanna loose me and will break up with his gf coz he said he dont have feelings for her anymore . He cried a lot for me . Then again i build up the hope and came to relationship . Now whats happening is his gf got to know about us . She got jealous and has started talking to him again and gives him time too and i am being ignored . I texted him like before saying carry on ur relationship i am leaving . But he is saying like he doesnot wants to loose me and doesnot wants to loose her too . But i dont think this is right . He is back with his gf . He loves her now and i am valued less while i can say in other word i just got used in his bad times . What should i do next ?should i use no contact rule and bring him back or should i let him go ? Or should i stay as friend which i dnt think i can

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 5:56 pm

      Hi,

      of course it’s not right to keep you both.. Try to do the no contact rule for 30 days.. Heal and improve.. Set aside thinking about what to do with him in the mean time..

  17. Avatar

    Poomi

    November 28, 2016 at 8:20 pm

    Before 2 mnth i started talking to a guy. He had a gf and their relationship was there since 2 years but they didnot had enough time for each other .his gf was ignoring and hurting him . I talked to him as a friend then we turned out to be lovers . He too fall in love with me and i fell for him too . But still he had next girl in his life (his gf ) then i broke up with him .. and told him i am leaving and texted him many sad messages but he told me he dont wanna loose him and break up with his gf coz he said he dont have feelings for her anymore . He cried a lot for me . Then again i build up the hope and came to realtion . Now whats happening is his gf got to know about us . She got jealous and has started to talk to him again and gives him time too and i am being ignored . I texted him like before saying carry on ur relationship i am leaving . But he is saying like he doesnot wants to loose me and doesnot wants to loose her too . But i dont think this is right . He is back with his gf . He loves her now i am valued less while i can say in other word i just got used in his bad times . What should i do next should i use no contact rule and bring him back or should i let him go ? Or should i stay as friend which i dnt think i can

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 5:56 pm

      Hi,

      of course it’s not right to keep you both.. Try to do the no contact rule for 30 days.. Heal and improve.. Set aside thinking about what to do with him in the mean time..

  18. Avatar

    Linda

    November 26, 2016 at 11:12 pm

    Hello, I am very sad and confuse not sure what is right or wrong. My heart is feel very painful . Hope to hear advise from you. I have arrange a big birthday party for my boyfriend, but two days before his bday, he said he will not spend his bday with me and will spend it with someone else. I was upset and mad, I hang up the phone on him. Then he block his phone and text on me. I cool myself down and went to his work and beg him to spend his bday with me, i told him what i have arranged from dinner to booked a room at the casino for a fun night. He said ok he will turn on the phone and call me after work, even give me a goodbye kiss. I thought everything was ok, then at 5 pm i called him but blocked my phone again. It have been two weeks now, no matter how I beg him his still dont return my call or text, I end up calling his co worker to see if he went to work, he actually went on vacation. No call, no text and lie to me does that mean is a break up and he is spending time with another girl. It is very hard for us to be together and i value this relatonship very much that why I was willing to please and beg him most of the time, am I wrong to do this? No reply for two weeks does that me we are finish? what should I do , I am confuse and so painful of not knowing answer to things . Thank you for your help

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2016 at 3:26 pm

      Hi Linda,

      he’s ghosting you.. Yes, you value him but it’s not right to keep begging and chasing him.. His actions are not the actions of a person who’s in a relationship

  19. Avatar

    Gail

    November 26, 2016 at 10:33 pm

    Good day Chris & Team

    In a very short time, i’ve learned a lot from reading your website. Thanks for creating it. I really appreciate your good & hard work.

    I really need your help with my situation.

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. We’ve been dating for about 5 months. Our relationship was great. He put in a lot of effort to win me over. We respected each other and he treated me like a queen. He said he wants a future with me & we were planning on buying property together.

    The only problem we had was his ex girlfriend using their 2 yr old daughter to manipulate him. Since she heard that he is in a relationship with me, she started to give him lots of problems when it came to him spending time with their daughter. That absolutely broke him. He is a very emotional person. She’ll do things like tell him his not a good father and he is throwing his daughter away to be with me.

    The relationship he had with his daughter’s mother was very unhealthy. They use to fight every day and according to him the romance died long before they broke up. Their break up was mutual.

    When he broke up with me, he told me its because he wants to move back to his hometown, so that he can be closer to his daughter. That will be the only way for him to see her more & be part of her life. I asked him if he is back with his ex girlfriend and he said no. The day after that, I sent him a text saying its really difficult for me to let go and our relationship ment a lot to me. He replied and said he is really sorry and our relationship also means a lot to him.

    Two weeks ago, I heard from mutual friends that he is back with his ex girlfriend. According to them the ex girlfriend told him that the only way she won’t turn their daughter against him, is if he let her & the daughter move in with him so that he can take care of them financially since she hasn’t been working for sometime now.

    I then sent him a text & asked if they are back together. He replied saying that he didn’t know how to tell me, yes they are back together. I replied and asked if there is anything else he lied to me about. He then didn’t respond.

    I obviously still love him & all I want to do is text him to tell him that he is making a mistake. He shouldn’t allow her to use his daughter to manipulate him. She doesn’t love him, she just wants his money. But i haven’t contacted him. I actually don’t know what to do.

    Please help because I do want my ex back.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2016 at 3:12 pm

      Hi Gail,

      The odds are he’s going to compare you to his ex.. So, keep improving yourself.. If she keeps nagging, and you keep improving, there’s a good chance he will get tired of her and miss you.

  20. Avatar

    Lory

    November 23, 2016 at 5:52 am

    My ex and I where dating for 3 years now and for the last 6 months, it became tough in our relationship that we ended to break-up. Worse part is, he didn’t say what he wanted it but it shows that’s what he wants. I decided to follow NC rule. a month ago and on 11th day of NC he messaged me with “hope you’re doing fine”. Since i am under NC rule, of course i didn’t respond but he knew i have seen his message. After that, no message at all and his last seen on the messenger was on following day of his message to me. What should i do now? Today is my 30th day of no contract rule. Will there still be a chance of getting him back?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 25, 2016 at 8:05 pm

      Hi Lori,

      you can initiate contact.. Check this one:
      EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

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