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245 thoughts on “The Four Best Ways To Respond To Your Exes Text Messages”

  1. Anon

    December 18, 2016 at 8:44 am


    It’s me again…my last comment with the whole story is under Anatomy of a Breakup Part II.

    I had talked to my ex about a week and a half ago and he was very angry because of personal problems. Amor, you advised me to try to not be one of his problems but to be his shoulder to lean on.

    I don’t think he wants my shoulder to lean on. It’s very confusing…it seemed like we were so close to getting back together. We were hanging out a lot and talking again. But then he just pulls everything away again! For no reason. He tells me he’s angry with me and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me or our daughter. But I called him tonight asking for answers and he didn’t have any! I was terrified he was with a girl because he was being quiet but he said he was “around people” and to “stop being annoying.”

    I just don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve done the NC rule twice but that was months ago. I know it loses its effectiveness the more you use it. But maybe I should use it again…I don’t know what would make him so angry out of nowhere. And I want to make it work so badly but I don’t think I’m making it better at this point by annoying him…but I am terrified of him moving on…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 21, 2016 at 11:24 am

      that means you really have to back off now.. either do nc for a long time or move on

  2. Suhani

    December 18, 2016 at 5:34 am

    I met this guy 6yrs ago, we have been good friends and I started developing feelings for him, but he always friend zoned me out and after some months, we both started being in friends with benefits relation.. he never committed to me but we kept on continuing our so called benefits relation from past 5yrs, he left me twice and after his relation didn’t work he came back to me. Recently 3months ago, he ended everything and reason was he met someone new in his life. I was very much in depression, I came to this site and I read about no contact rule. Yes, I didn’t wish him Birthday nor contacted him by any means.. Day 26 of NC he texted me and he said he missed me and I didn’t wished him birthday hurted him most. And he confessed me that he misses me and wants me in his life but he likes someone too. This irked me, because from past 6yrs I have been waiting for this guy and he just used me. I was in depression, I used to stay home, cried for hours.. it took me a lot of courage to block him everywhere, I focused on moving on and I changed myself into a better person.. I coloured my hair, got new look..and he tried contacting me through our mutual friends, he stalked me through fake profiles and texted me I look hot, and for moment I only told him I hate him and I wouldn’t talk to him ever, he said he missed me, he wants me back as friends with benefits only.. he can’t promise me to commit and all I m doing right now is No contact rule from week, I don’t know what should I do? I really love him still.. how should I make him commit to me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 21, 2016 at 11:15 am

      Hi Suhani,

      you cant force him. The only approach is to refuse being friends with benefits. We train others on how they treat us. What you keep allowing is the reflection of your standards.

  3. Whyte

    December 18, 2016 at 2:52 am

    So i will try to outline my situation. Ex gone and over with since three years ago. I feel great! Met this guy im dating online. We were going good and had something. But when he was getting all awkward when i tried making or hinting “the talk” i told him i am not interested in having any sort of romantic relationship now.So after that we went on doing the same thing: having clean fun and being sweet- pretty much between the “close friends” and “item” kind of interaction. He started to get issues lately and seems to be aloof or probably wanting space. Recently i got a little emotional because aside from the hormones, i had empathy for my group of friends who fell apart after a fight. I sought to approach him for comfort and maybe a talk, but he seemed to be annoyed and found me needy. I called him out about that and he apologized and started trying to make things up with me and tried to transition to a light conversation. We were supposed to also go to this event next valentines for fun because it’s open for everyone:family, couples friends etc. But when i asked him about it, he started being shy to flaky to refusing to answer (but a long time ago he brought up being interested in attending it with me.) I took time to reflect on my actions and MAYBE i was almost appearing needy-clingy for running to him about my emotions and doubts because i wanted to spend time with him more or hang around with him (but hell, thats what friends are for right? then again, he might be a typical guy who gets weird feelings he cant comprehend?? that all he knows is he wants space from me?…. am i right? i sort of dont want to make efforts overthinking the possibilities of this and just take things at face value.) So anyway I decided i will do a no contact WITH mirroring. I do not want to entirely ignore him but I plan on being formal/civil and mirror- just how it goes in this article. I also plan on not asking him about the event anymore even tho i was really excited about it and had my hopes high. I do want him to chase but I feel like i deserve better treatment. After all, i was able to attract him from the start by being loyal to EBR’s teachings. I probably just got a little too comfortable too soon, so before it gets any worse , i have to keep the control.

    Am i doing things right? I heard a guy-guy has this “man cave” he retreats to when he gets closer to a girl emotionally. I still want to be polite and make him feel thatthe door is open and im not “mad” or “angry” but i also want to make him feel that he sort of disappointed me and i am giving him a chance to prove himself again. Yes, it is up to him, but i would like to influence things in a way that he knows he can approach me, but he has to do the work. Any feedback, ebr? thanks!

    1. Whyte

      December 21, 2016 at 3:00 pm

      5 months.

      what do you mean by confused?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 24, 2016 at 8:55 am

      because you said you were not interested in a romantic relation and then you’re starting to expect more emotional support from him.. For me, you should do the no contact rule but if you really dont want then proceed with your plan

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 21, 2016 at 9:09 am

      hi Whyte,

      I think he’s confused with you.. how long have you been seeing each other?

  4. Confused

    December 17, 2016 at 9:10 pm

    A couple of days ago my boyfriend came to me with some really hurtful information he had been given through my ex boyfriends friends regarding something I had “supposedly done”. We had a chat and are fine now, however, I want to know your thoughts on the subject. Basically, me and my ex boyfriend haven’t been together for little over a year and a bit now and stopped talking altogether around 5 months ago. However, this information about something I supposedly done surfaced about 6 days ago now from my ex boyfriend. He has a girlfriend and claims he is happy. But, is his way of getting to me and my boyfriend through his friends his way of trying to initiate something? If he wanted to talk to me he normally locked me out of my game but I have since changed all info so he doesn’t haven access to the account. Is this his new way of trying to come back into my life? Any thoughts would be helpful. Thank you 🙂

    1. Confused

      December 23, 2016 at 2:08 pm

      I supposedly had slept with my ex boyfriend at that time when I didn’t and if I did he had his girlfriend at that time. It wouldn’t surprise me if did do something like this as he’s tried it before.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 21, 2016 at 5:57 am

      Hi Confused,

      That’s hard to tell because what was that that you did? And it can be just a topic that was brushed along when your ex and his friends talked and then reached your current bf now because they were tripping or they were curious, like spreading rumors

  5. Sara

    December 16, 2016 at 10:58 pm

    Hi, I needed some advice on getting back my ex. Two months ago, I caught him cheating on me. He denied it and didn’t talk to me. When I contacted him, he just escaped from the questions and said other not related things. After a week I stopped talking to him, for more than 1 month, until today that was his birthday, and i wished him. He said that he didn’t expect me to wish him, that was very sorry that things went that way, and would want to turn back the time, but… Then I texted him that I would still like to talk to him, but not like before. He didn’t reply. He still is in the relationship with the other girl thought. What should I do next, or just live my life and wait if he will ever contact me? It still hurts me a lot, and I want him back. Also, he left the country one week after the cheating, the trip was planned before, I also left the country same day, other destination just to relax. But made it more difficult to meet him in person after this.
    Thanks in advance, I have read every section offline.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 19, 2016 at 11:40 pm

      Hi Sara,

      So, he moved on to the girl he cheated you with? I think that’s the reason why he’s not talking to you anymore. First, that’s awkward because that’s the girl he cheated on with you. He must feel guilty. Second, talking to you can cause problems with his new relationship. Even if you didn’t talk for a month, how much have you improved yourself. If he compares you to the old you, how much have you improved? If he compares you to the girl now, would he miss you more?

  6. Britt

    December 16, 2016 at 11:14 am

    Hey Guys!

    I’m kind of having problems even getting into a conversation with my ex. He is in what I think is a rebound relationship/friends with benefits situation. The first time we texted after no contact was good and positive, I then texted him two more times to only get one response, and then no response to my further reply. It’s been a week since I sent my last message to him (to which he responded), how do I get him to really want to have a conversation with me regardless if he is around this other girl? I think that is what is stopping him from opening my messages (he doesn’t even leave them read, just unopened), that he is around her or other people that he might not want to have see him texting me.

    What should I do, and what kind of texts should I be sending?

    1. Britt

      December 21, 2016 at 11:58 am

      Did comment again but thought I’d update after messaging my ex as I’m a little confused.

      I texted him and he responded pretty positively, we just got into some general chit chat but all of a sudden he just didn’t open my last message, like he has done in the past. His last reply to me he was continuing the conversation by asking what I had been up to (after I asked him), but I just didn’t get a reply. It’s been over 8 hours and he’s been online, checking my social media too. So why not continue the conversation just as we were starting to have a nice talk?

      Do I keep trying to text him or should I wait and see if he replies or messages me first? I don’t really know where I’ve gone wrong with my replies, I’ve kept them to the point and engaging or so I thought.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 22, 2016 at 9:43 am

      his new one.. He’s probably not letting you be more engaging or do the being there startegy because he might be sensing you still want him back and he doesn’t want to have problems with his relationship

    3. Britt

      December 19, 2016 at 2:51 am

      Hey Amor

      Do you mean protective of our relationship or his new one? I’m hoping I’m brave enough to text him again today and see how that goes. I’m finding it really hard to employ the “Being There” strategy when he’s kinda not letting me.

      It’s also his birthday coming up this weekend, should I still send him a message for it if he doesn’t reply to my message today?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 18, 2016 at 6:37 pm

      Hi Britt,

      that’s normal that he would like that because he’s being protective of his relationship, especially that if he’s not sure if you’ve really moved on.. use topics that you know will get him intrigued, want to talk to you more, topics that he always loves talking about, end the conversation at high point, end in cliffhanger too. Open this one:
      What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

  7. Caroline

    December 15, 2016 at 12:46 am

    I actually did mirror my ex bf before, after being polite for many months. He would only say one word sentences and act unintrested. When I did they same, he got really pissed and never wrote to me again. Is that a consequence you have to take as a girl? That if you give a guy the same treatment he’s given you – you could loose him even more?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2016 at 10:47 am

      Hi Caroline,

      nope.. It depends on how it was done, the relationship status, his mood, the topic.. A lot of things..

  8. Stuck

    December 14, 2016 at 11:52 pm

    My ex and I had been communicating very positively for 2 months. He had actually been initiating contact before me most days, and we had gone out a couple of times. A few days ago however, he stopped reaching out without warning. I tried to initiate two days in a row via text, and he gave me 1-2 word answers so I figured I’d lay off a bit. It’s now been 3 more days and he hasn’t reached out at all. Am I right to keep, “mirroring” him or how long should I wait for him to reengage before I give up?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2016 at 10:38 am

      Hi Stuck,

      rest for a week or two..maybe he’s having personal matters to take care of

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