In this episode of The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast we hear from a woman named Brianna who has found herself in quite the pickle…
- She is two months removed from the breakup.
- Her ex boyfriend has deleted his Facebook account.
- He has changed his email.
- He has changed his phone number
Now, obviously this is one of the hardest situations that you could possibly find yourself in. I mean, your chances of winning an ex boyfriend back without having the ability to talk to him are slim to none.
So, in this episode I am going to really talk about how you can navigate a situation where your ex has blocked you or has flat out deleted your number and what you can do to influence him enough to want to either unblock you or get in contact with you again.
Here is what you can expect to hear about in this episode.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizWhat I Talk About In This Episode
- Why an ex boyfriend would want to block you.
- The two different types of “blocks.”
- How often an ex boyfriend might actually unblock you (or get in contact with you) on his own accord.
- How to increase the chances of him unblocking you or getting in contact with you.
Important Links I Talk About In This Episode
I really only talked about two major things on Ex Boyfriend Recovery in this episode.
The first being the article I wrote about blocking,
The second being my E-Book,
The Game Plan For This Situation
I have made it clear that in every single episode of The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast I will be formulating a game plan for the situation I discussed in the episode.
So, the situation for this episode is figuring out what to do if you have no possible way of contacting your ex.
Below I have compiled a graphic outlining what to do in this situation,
The game plan basically consists of 4 steps.
Step One- Understand that Time Is Your Best Offense
Most exes will unblock you on their own accord so most of the time you actually won’t have to do anything to get them to unblock you except be a little patient. Of course, there are also a lot of exes who wont unblock or contact you and it is these exes that might need a little extra push.
Step Two- Influence
This “push” is going to come in the form of influence. You have to basically make your ex boyfriend want to talk to you and in order to do this you have to have some sort of influence over him.
Step Three- Find A Way To Get On His Mind
How do you influence him?
Well, the first thing you are going to have to do is find a way to get onto his mind (if you aren’t already on his mind.) Once you are on his mind you can then create the influence you need. You can get on his mind in this case by utilizing two things,
- Social Media (like Facebook)
- Mutual Friends
Step Four- Be Interesting Enough
Utilizing social media and mutual friends you can kind of “control the message” that he hears in an effort to influence him. The idea is to have him hear such an interesting bit of information about you that he will have no choice but to contact you because it is that interesting!
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizHow Can You Ask A Question On The Podcast?
Asking a question is pretty simple.
You really need two things,
- An internet connection
- A microphone or cell phone.
I have partnered with a website called SpeakPipe that basically allows you to leave me a voice mail over the internet.
All you have to do is visit my SpeakPipe page by clicking the link below.
Once you are there you will be able to record a voice mail and it will be sent to my inbox and I can feature your question on the show!
(Side Note: Mobile Phone users may have to download the free SpeakPipe app to record a message.)
Rules For Recording A Message
- I don’t require your full name just something to call you by. I understand your need for privacy.
- Please no profanity or curse words. We are trying to keep this PG.
- Your message can only be a maximum of 90 seconds.
Hope you enjoyed Episode 2 of The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!
Podcast Transcript
Welcome to Episode 2 of the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Podcast. I just want to take a moment to thank you for listening to this podcast. It really means the world to me. For everything that you do for this podcast and my website, I have to thank you.
Episode 2 is a very special episode because it’s going to take a look at one of the hardest situations that you can be in with an ex or any kind of relationship. In Episode 1, I explained the format of the podcast. Listeners of Ex-Boyfriend Recovery can call in and ask me a question. I’ll answer it and give a very in-depth game plan.
Today, we’re going to have our very first question. It comes from a woman named Brianna:
“I’m trying to get back together with my ex. It’s been about two months since the breakup. In this time, he has deleted his Facebook, changed his email and changed his phone number. I have no way to contact him. Is there still hope of making it work? I just don’t feel like there’s any way that I can reconnect with him without being able to talk to him.”
Brianna is wondering what to do if you have no way of talking to your ex. She’s been broken up with her boyfriend for two months. He’s deleted his Facebook. He’s changed his email. He’s even gone as far as changing his phone number. She would be right when she said that there’s really no way of getting an ex back if you can’t even talk to him.
I would classify this as a blocking situation where an ex-boyfriend would block you from any form of communication imaginable. I did write a fairly in-depth article on Ex-Boyfriend Recovery on this particular topic. I’m going to link to that article in the show notes. You can go to www.ExBoyfriendRecovery.com/episode2.
Brianna’s situation is a relatively hard situation to overcome. But that doesn’t mean you should give up hope. I’ve seen multiple times where an ex has come back and unblocked an ex-girlfriend. I’ve seen a lot of successes in this particular situation.
Obviously, Brianna’s situation is even a step further. Her ex didn’t just block her. Her ex changed his entire Facebook profile, email and phone number. I can understand how she’s feeling. She’s probably feeling a little helpless. Let’s see if we can give her a little help here.
The first thing you want to do in a situation like this is size up the extent of the block that your ex has on you. There are two types of blocks. There is a partial block where your ex-boyfriend might block you from calling but he’s still friends with you on Facebook, Twitter and other social media.
Then you have what’s called a full-out block. A full-out block is a little bit different. This is where your ex-boyfriend is not going to be friends with you on Facebook. He’s not going to be friends with you on Twitter. He’s going to block your phone so that you can’t text or call him. You’re left out to dry with no way of communicating with him at all.
This is what Brianna here is experiencing, but she’s experiencing it at an even deeper level in that her ex isn’t just blocking her. Her ex is flat out ignoring her in every way imaginable, enough to where he’s changing his phone number and email address. He’s deleting his Facebook. This is a really tough situation to be in.
A lot of you may be wondering what would cause an ex-boyfriend to do this. There could be a lot of different reasons that he would want to do something like this. The first one is that he wants revenge on you. Breakups are hard on everyone. There is always a lot of emotion involved, even in breakups that are amicable.
It’s not out of the realm of possibility that he could potentially be trying to get revenge in a weird way. I know that sounds weird but I’ve seen more of that than you can imagine.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizAnother reason is that it could simply hurt to talk to you. He’s reminded of the past when he talks to you. It hurts him inside because the breakup is painful. His way of coping with it is to push you aside, ignore you for a little bit and remove the temptation of talking to you.
Then there are those situations where the ex really wants to get over you. That’s rarer than you would think.
When you think of a situation where an ex blocks someone, you think, “He’s just trying to get over her. He isn’t really into her anymore.” If you really think about it, if an ex goes through the trouble of blocking you, that means you’re on his mind. That means he’s not over you yet.
While it is possible that an ex could block you just to get over you, it’s also possible that this is not what’s really going on. He may shroud his action with, “I’m trying to get over you.” The fact of the matter is, if he’s blocking you, you’re on his mind. If you’re on his mind, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Here comes the million-dollar question. How often does an ex just, out of the blue, unblock you? You’re going to be shocked to hear this, but it happens more often than you’d think.
Originally, when I wrote an article on an ex blocking you, I would get comments. I was not expecting a lot of success with having exes unblock you. If you look at things on a purely percentage basis, the chances that an ex would unblock you after he’s blocked you doesn’t seem very high. They’re actually higher than you think. I had hundreds, maybe thousands, of women talk to me about their exes unblocking them. They didn’t really do anything but wait.
I started thinking, “What’s going on in an ex’s head to make him do this?” Here is the process that goes through an ex’s head when he unblocks you, free of you doing anything. Usually, what happens after a breakup is that anger is involved. There is a lot of emotion.
They say when emotion runs high, logic runs low. From an emotional standpoint, your ex is more than happy to block you to get revenge. Maybe he is hurting when he talks to you. There could be all sorts of reasons for an ex to block you.
For an ex to unblock you, it’s interesting. Deep down, he still wants to feel admired by you. He kind of still wants you to fawn after him a little bit. There’s no way of him knowing that you could potentially be checking his Facebook profile, texting him or calling him if you’re blocked.
A lot of times, what happens is, in a moment of anger, your ex will block you. But then, once logic starts to set in, he realizes, “I can’t really tell if she’s still into me or missing me if she’s blocked.” What ends up happening is that he’ll unblock you.
What I recommend after a breakup is to go straight into the no contact period. For those of you who are new to the website, Ex-Boyfriend Recovery or new to the podcast, the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Podcast, I am a huge fan of the no contact rule.
The no contact rule is where you set aside this period of time when you completely ignore your ex-boyfriend. The idea is that it’s supposed to make him miss you more. It’s supposed to raise your value in his eyes. Most importantly, it gives you time to work on yourself. After a breakup, I would recommend doing the no contact rule.
A lot of times after a breakup, a girl can get a little clingy. Clinginess, to a guy, is bad. It’s really bad. If a girl is too clingy, he may block her just because of that. That’s another reason.
When you’re looking at an ex who has blocked you and you’re trying to figure out, “How do I get unblocked?” a lot of times, the answer is time. You just have to wait and they’ll unblock you.
We’re dealing with Brianna’s situation here. She has probably the worst-case scenario, which is why I loved her question. I love tackling these really hard situations. What do you do if an ex has not only blocked you, but he’s changed his phone number? You don’t want to go back to high school days where you’re running between friends and passing notes back and forth. That looks lame. To be honest, it really never works for helping you get an ex back.
What do you do in this hard situation? Believe it or not, there are a few things you can do to get him to unblock you. When I look at a situation where you’re trying to get an ex to unblock you, it all comes down to influence.
Let me explain it this way. If you and I were dating, the only thing that’s going to make me want to keep talking to you is your influence. It’s how much you mean to me. The idea here is to influence your ex-boyfriend enough to want to talk to you.
There are a number of ways to do that, even if he’s blocked you. Just because he’s blocked you doesn’t mean he’s not keeping an eye on you. It means it’s harder for him to keep an eye on you. There are mutual friends between the two of you. In Brianna’s situation, he doesn’t have Facebook.
In more general situations, he could still be checking up on you through Facebook. Technically, Brianna’s boyfriend could be checking up on her on Facebook through one of his friend’s Facebook accounts. I often hear stories of women who go to other women to check their ex-boyfriend’s Facebook profiles because they’ve been unfriended. It’s not like it’s an uncommon thing.
You want to leverage these two factors, social media and mutual friends. Let’s first talk about the social media factors. We’re operating under the assumption that your ex-boyfriend is still keeping an eye on you.
There are a few reasons why we’re operating under this assumption. If he’s blocked you, he’s still thinking about you. That is a positive, in a way. I’m not ever going to say that getting blocked is a good thing. It’s clearly not a good thing. But we’re trying to make the best of a really bad situation here, so bear with me.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizWhat do we do through Facebook? You want to project this persona that life is almost better without him. You don’t want to project that so loudly and obviously. You want to post things to Facebook that are really upbeat and positive. You want to post pictures of you having fun with friends. You can try some jealousy tactics. Maybe go on a friendly hangout with a guy friend but don’t kiss him. You don’t want to lead anyone on when you want your ex-boyfriend back.
I should mention that this is not just for Facebook. This is for all social media where he could potentially be keeping an eye on you. A beautiful thing happens through Facebook. A lot of times, even if he’s not keeping an eye on you, there are mutual friends who are friends with you on Facebook. Let’s say that you are posting really clever things on Facebook, trying to project this happy-go-lucky persona. A mutual friend sees this and relays the information to your ex-boyfriend.
Right there, you were just in your exes mind. You want him to go through this though process of, “Wait, why isn’t she missing me?” In an exes mind, if he’s gone through the trouble of blocking you, he’s probably going to think, “If I do this, she’s going to miss me. She’s going to chase me a lot.” That’s the idea that goes through anyone’s head when they try anything related to the no contact rule or blocking.
While we’re on the subject of mutual friends, you can leverage mutual friends to your advantage if your ex does a full-out block on you, like Brianna’s ex-boyfriend did. What is the most beautiful thing about human beings? It’s the fact that they talk. They gossip so much. You’re going to leverage this fact to your advantage through the mutual friends that you and your ex-boyfriend have.
Before I get into that, I want to talk about the strategies that go with using a mutual friend to your advantage. The main goal that we’re trying to accomplish at this point isn’t just to try to get your ex-boyfriend back. That’s an even more complex process.
This is just to get on speaking terms again. In order for that to happen, you have to get him to unblock you. With that in mind, you have to find some way of influencing your ex or at least getting back into his mind in some way, shape or form. If he’s blocking you, while you may be on his mind, if you can do something extra to push him further towards unblocking you, that would be great.
You want to find a way to get your mutual friends to talk to your ex about you without you prompting them to do so. In order to do that, you have to operate under a few assumptions. We’re going to operate under the assumption that people are talkers and that, if you do talk about your ex to this friend, it will somehow get around to the ex.
In a way, if you can control the information that goes to him, it’s never great passing notes back and forth between class and using someone to mediate that, but you’re forced to do that in a bad situation. Why not do our best to control the message that goes to your ex?
You’re probably sitting there wondering, “What kind of message should go to my ex?” It’s a very good question. The message that you want to go to your ex is that you are doing great after the breakup, but you’re mysterious about it. You’re not talking about it a lot. It’s not devastating to you. You obviously miss him. You want to play it cool but add enough mystery to the conversation between you and the mutual friend so that it’s worth enough to report to the ex.
There are a couple of ways to accomplish this. Let’s do a little role playing here. For those of you who read my website a lot, you know that I love doing role playing. I think people learn better when you give them examples.
Let’s say that you are talking to a mutual friend. You happen to slip up and tell your mutual friend that you went on an incredible vacation to Cabo San Lucas. It’s a tropical, beautiful place in Mexico. That might be worthy enough for that mutual friend to report to the ex. He might say, “Hey man. What’s up? You’re not going to believe, I just talked to Brianna. She told me that she went on this incredible vacation to Cabo San Lucas.”
That’s going to do a few things to your ex. Number one, he’s going to get a little jealous because you went to Cabo San Lucas. Number two, you’re going to be on his mind. It might be enough to push him to unblock you. I know many of you may look at that as grasping at straws. It’s better than nothing.
The biggest thing that you can use on your side is time. Given enough time, your ex will most likely unblock you. In the unfortunate instance where he doesn’t unblock you, that’s okay. He wasn’t the right guy for you. You can move on. You’ll survive. My site can help you for that, too.
For those of you who listened to Episode 1 of the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Podcast, I’m letting visitors call in. I’m going to be answering their questions. I’m also going to be giving them a specific game plan to follow at the end of every episode. I’m going to make that game plan live for everyone in the show notes. You can go to www.ExBoyfriendRecovery.com/episode2 to find the game plan.
Here’s my game plan for Brianna. The first point that I want her to take home is, understand that time is her best offense for getting him to unblock her. In my experience, I’ve seen that it takes time for exes to do this. Again, this is a tough situation to navigate.
Sometimes an ex won’t respond with time. You’ll have to do certain things to almost influence him to unblock you. That’s the second point that I want to make. You need to interest him enough to want to unblock you. There are certain ways that you can do this.
Point three is to find a way to influence him enough to want to talk to you. For example, if you talk to a mutual friend and let it slip that you went on this amazing vacation, then that mutual friend is probably going to let it slip to your ex. He’s going to be kind of curious. You’re going to be in his head. That’s exactly where you want to be. It’s like a seed. It’s like an idea.
He’s going to start thinking, “Wait, she went on a vacation? She had fun without me.” Then it’s going to grow from there until he might want to unblock you. He might say, “Hey, I heard you went on vacation.” Then it goes from there.
That’s the game plan for getting an ex to unblock you, or in Brianna’s case, getting an ex to contact her again. If you’re interested in learning more about how to get an ex-boyfriend back, please visit my website and check out my ebook, Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Pro. I’ll see you for Episode 3 tomorrow. Thanks.
Sara
January 2, 2021 at 9:01 pm
Dear Chris,
5 months ago i met a guy. He told me he was deeply in love with me. But i made a mistake i lied to him once and git caught. He got angry and broke up but after 3 days we back together again. He told me he couldnt be without me. And later on he bought me ring and even introduced me to his sister. And even after that he was very happy and even met my father. But then he got doubts about me my kid and past relationship. He told me he was scared that it would not work out in the future. But he also already had made future plans. He was building our new house to move in over a year. And also to get married. I am not a list but sometimes he would get too jalous and controlling. So i lied about something i thought it would upset him if i told the truth. But i admitted to him apologised and told him i take the responsibility for it. He did not talk to me for 3 days and then he broke up with me angry calling me a liar and shameful person. And said i hope it was worth your lies and being secretive. Told me not to contact his family which i would never do i told him. He wanted to explain to my father but i told him its not Necessary. I told him that im sorry and want to make up for things if he would give me a chance. But i also respect his choice and accept it. Abd that he should not contact my family. I dont want drama i told him. Then he said fine. and then he said im going to block you because i dont want drama. And before that he said i have no other options but seperating from you. And he said please end this with respect. I said you already ended things. He got an outburst and said yes im am ending this relationship because you give me no choice and you do not know what respect means.
Before that a week ago he told me already he had doubts about our situation my kid my past because his sister in LAW is married to hus brothers but is family of my ex with who i have a kid. But i dont have contact with my ex neither my kid. He gives me that the reason for the break up is the lie but i believe there is more than that. He already was doubting. Im devasted as we had future plans. Now im really sad and cant do anything. He also blocked me right after but did told me. On whatsapp he is not active on social media neither am i. Im really doubting everything he said about being deeply abd madly in love with me m. Wanting to fulfil my dreams and he would everyday call me in the morning evening and night and also text me the whole day. He would call his meetings of to meet me. So now i really hate myself for ruining and i wonder if he Will come back ever and forgive me. Its 2 days sinds he blocked me i have not reached out after that. I dont know what to do to make things right.
Tairona
November 15, 2020 at 6:54 pm
I have read some of the articles on your website and I find them insightful. Perhaps you can help me understand what is going on.
About two years ago I met a guy whom I thought had all the qualities I had been looking in a man. We shared a special bond together on multiple levels. I felt I had found the love of my life. About a year into our relationship I discovered that I had been betrayed by this man. My world was shattered into pieces and I am still recovering from the trauma. I spent the subsequent months post our separation sending him some very furious emails and texts over WhatsApp. Last December he blocked me in WhatsApp and ever since he blocked me, I went completely no-contact. I just fell off the earth, so to say. I am not on social media either. Being no-contact for nearly a year has been incredibly hard. However, I realized that I could not spend my whole life hidden in a corner and weeping my eyes out. I got up and started learning new things like teaching myself video editing and motion graphics (he is also interested in these things professionally) and started producing mini-videos that I would post on YouTube.
Over the past months of no contact, he discovered my YouTube channel and started watching my vlogging stuff again and again. About a month ago he re-read some of my old emails I had sent him over a year ago (I was able to know this due to an email tracker I was using). Within the past two weeks, I randomly discovered that he had unblocked me in WhatsApp.
Any thoughts of why he would be doing that after such a long time (11 months or so of blocking)? I am not planning to initiate any contact but of course I am curious to know if you think there is a chance of his comeback at some point in the future.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 7, 2020 at 12:57 pm
Hi Tairona, I would imagine he is just keeping tabs on what you are getting up to – many exes do this, just out of interest. It seems you are keeping an eye on his activity too. To which I would say stop and just focus on yourself again if you have no interest in speaking with him or getting him back.
Seema
October 11, 2020 at 4:48 pm
I been with my partner for 7 years and last 4 years our relationship has been up and down. Our birthdays are 5 days apart. I loved him with my heart we had been talking about our future our marriage etc. The mid july he wanted space and obviously it was really hard for me and i just wanted to see if hes okay because i really care about him . Then he was ignoring me completely and wouldnt respond and stop communicating with me. I dont know why i had weird feelings and thought silly things as my emotions was all over the place. I caused 2 incidents and he knows that i never meant those things to happen then he broke up with me and blocked me on everything . He has said things to my family which has affected me and i still love and miss him .. his behaviour changed all of a sudden and i dont know why and i would do anything to repair or rebuild our relationship . I can never see myself with anyone else . I dont know what to do .
Please help me .
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 24, 2020 at 8:59 pm
Hi Seema, it sounds as if you really need some time apart and you need to follow a no contact and work on yourself in that time, also ask your family and friends to not be involved if they are still in touch with him. You need to allow this time for your issues and negative break up settle and he can have some time to miss you
Sarah
October 9, 2020 at 2:20 pm
I met a guy 5 years ago. He was still married at this point, he is now divorced. After a very on/ off relationship and drifting in and out of each others lives I am wondering if there is any chance atall to get him back. After a big argument last year he blocked me on everything. I recently emailed him and he has now unblocked me, he keeps blocking and unblocking me on email, like on a daily basis because I send him test emails. I know from a recent conversation 2 months ago he is still angry about things I did to him. Should I give up ?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 16, 2020 at 9:41 pm
Hi Sarah, I can’t tell you to give up or carry on trying that needs to be your choice. If you want to follow the program then there are many articles here to help you through the program, I would suggest the first thing you need to do is stop reaching out for 45 days and work on yourself in that time
Holly
October 7, 2020 at 11:46 pm
My long distance boyfriend of a year just broke up with me and blocked me on everything. He Never really said why he didn’t want to be with me, but a month ago he stonewalled me for 2 days following a minor argument. We’ve had a pretty happy relationship. We have a lot in common, we like the same things, we want the same things in life, we talked and FaceTimed often, we had a daily routine, and we got to see each other every few months. The breakup happened a week ago after an argument. I know we’ve been talking about him moving in with me, and it scares him to make such a big change. We live 1200 miles apart. He’s also said he thinks he’s bad for me and doesn’t want to hurt me again. My insecurities have been showing up a lot since the stonewalling. After getting blocked again I lost it and threw away all his things that I had (maybe 10 shirts but one was his most treasured possession). I emailed him and told him. Then of course he didn’t reply so I sent him a bunch of emails and texted him from a different phone number for 2 days. Now I’m super blocked, and I feel like it’s going to last forever. However, he’s still following my artist page on Facebook and he still has a picture of us in his pictures. He didn’t overlook them or just forget to delete them. I’m not sure what to do. The distance scares me. I feel like he’ll move on easily. He’s the love of my life. Our brothers have been best friends since grade school. We know each other, but this was unexpected.
Shell
May 21, 2020 at 4:42 pm
Hiya
Need your advice
I tried to have a normal conversation last week with my ex, it didn’t go to plan he blew up and blocked me off everything but kept me on Snapchat. Now & again he would send me random Snapchat’s which I didn’t understand. Last night he was very full on with me calling me baby and saying I looked great. I was on edge and all I wrote was back to things was
‘ nope’ or ‘ thank you ‘
Then today I noticed his now gone and blocked me on Snapchat too. My friends said his probably embarrassed maybe drinking.
So now that’s me blocked on everything now. Why on earth is he doing this and What should I do here?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 29, 2020 at 4:36 pm
IF he was drinking hes likely blocked you as he wants to avoid the conversation. It really depends on what you want to do. If you want to get him back then you need to re start the program after replying to him on SC and him choosing to block you at the end of the conversation. If you are in a hard block then there is nothing more you can do but work your Holy Trinity and use the information about being Ungettable. Using social media to show how well you are doing so if he is to check on you it shows you are doing great without him
J
February 19, 2020 at 10:36 am
Hi,
My boyfriend and I were dating for 8 months. We’ve broken up 3 times in two months due to his random out bursts over tiny disagreements. Every fight goes the same way- we talk about something minor, he flips out, he disrespects me (curses at me, screams at me, kicks me out of his house). However the only difference is how each way was resolved. The first time I reached out to talk after I got a random text at work that he didn’t want to be with me meanwhile we had plans that night. The second time he kicked me out of the house and made me walk home but contacted me first immediately the next day, upset how he couldn’t be without me. This time I just asked about why he was so distant and he flipped out and blocked me on everything except for one form of social media, which i posted to my story to see if he opened and he didn’t open it he just blocked me as soon as he saw i post. The only thing giving me home was his reaction from the last time but I really don’t know how to handle this considering I want to be with this person so bad.
Ninna
January 30, 2020 at 7:36 am
We have had many ups and downs in our relationship in terms of family, financial crisis, but we decided to stay with each other no matter what, he committed to marrying me and spent rest of life with me our family have been talking about our marriage from the past one year he had also promised my mother that he would never leave me (long back). We went through a lot of fights and arguments where we both disrespected each other. Something like that happened this time also few days after his birthday(after spending 5 days with him at his house after all the gifts and surprises) but after which I am blocked on wats app and Instagram. since the fight, I haven’t contacted him at all. But his mom knows everything about our fight and she is in constant contact with me….. it’s my birthday next month and also I have been preparing for my GRE to do masters in the US with him as he wanted us to settle in the US after marriage.
He never blocks me like this even if he blocks me he unblocks in few hours, this time I am blocked for days because I had blocked him for 7days during our fight before this so he is doing tit for tat… that’s what is my assumption…
do you think he will come back??
Should I be in contact with his mother??
Should I continue to prepare for my exams to go to the US ?? (i am asking this cause I need to pay a huge amount to give the exam )
please do reply, thank you
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 7, 2020 at 9:57 pm
Hey Ninna, so the fact he is blocking you when you have a fall out is a massive sign that this relationship has immature ways to dealing with conflict. The exam you speak of is it essential for your career? If so then yes do the exam, even if you still go to the US without him and keep going on your masters without him in your life. I suggest that you seek a local couples therapist to speak to you both on how you deal with conflict and how to communicate in relationships because blocking each other is childsplay.
Ninna
January 28, 2020 at 8:09 am
Hey, my name is Ninna, I have been in a 3 years relationship with my boyfriend. We have had many ups and downs all these years despite he has given a commitment to marry me and never leave me no matter what he made me meet his parents I have a special bond with his family especially his mother since the past one year. our parents to have agreed on our marriage. besides all this, we keep fighting a lot of little things like him not giving me time, he keeps doing tit for tat on all fights, well to be honest even I do, sometimes when he is really mad at me he also yells loudly and disrespects me and even if it is his mistake he loves to blame me for everything, his ego is always high. I don’t like it when he smokes so he promised me last year he would quit smoking, but few days before we had a very funny argument where I told him I never stop you for anything I won’t even stop u for smoking, later in an hour or 2 we were going out to eat something there he bought a cigarette and started smoking in front of me I was shocked he knew i wasn’t liking it. he also he i was ignoring him he smoked half a cigarette and threw it. later I cried in front of him saying I haven’t asked anything from u till date can you not leave cigarette for me how could you smoke despite knowing I don’t like it. on this we had an argument where I compared him to one of my ex-boyfriend where he had cheated on me to which I told him my ex had called me he said to go back to him I said yes I will he has a big house and money to I rather be with him and after this, he blocked me and its been almost 7 days now.
One more thing he is a little less financially stable in comparison to my family but not like literally poor. my parents do have a problem with that and he knows about it and it affects him a lot he is trying to do everything to prove to my parents he is worth me. We have gone through a lot to keep this relationship we both are making equal efforts.
Last month I had blocked him for 10 days where he was devasted i blocked him because he disrespected me in a cab and he left from there leaving me alone later as it was his birthday I kept all the grudges aside he also apologised for his mistake and 2 weeks we spent happily at his place as his parents had gone for a trip and later this cigarette thing happened.
his mother asked me whether what has happened I tried not to tell her about the cigarette thing as it was her birthday it would hurt aunty but she forced me to tell her everything so I told her she promised me she would stop his smoking soon she knows i am blocked by him on WhatsApp and Insta. touch wood he still has our photos on his Insta account. his mom keeps calling me every day to know whether I am ok or no.
what do you think is he firm about the break up so he has blocked me past 7 days he has never blocked me like this before he would always unblock me within an hour or 2 after blocking I feel just because I blocked him last month for 10 days he too is doing the same with me. what do you feel will he break up with me?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 6, 2020 at 10:00 pm
Hey Ninna, I think you should pull back and allow him to make any contact for a while so that he sees you have emotional control. However I recommend you stop blocking him on social media etc as it is more of a immature way of dealing with a situation if you are in a relationship. The relationship itself sounds as if it is turning negative, so taking a step back and allowing some space may help. However if you do break up you need to go into an immediate No Contact and allow him some time to miss you
Molly
December 7, 2019 at 11:23 pm
Hi Shaunna ,
Thankyou , I know I have some work to do .
I will follow your advice .
He was only saying how much he missed me the week before, Do you think I have completely ruined my chances and made him fall out of love with me by being so needy ?
Many thanks again
Molly
December 4, 2019 at 11:25 am
Hi , my LDR boyfriend has blocked me after I became a text gnat whlist he is very stressed with work . I know I’ve made a dreadful mistake but I became very needy when he is most stressed . I had 2 messages then I became a gnat because he didn’t answer ,2 days later (after my constant texting) he disappeared from WhatsApp ,then unfollowed me on Instagram 3 days later ,I do try and call ( I know I shouldn’t have ) and realised my phone has been blocked .(I think he has changed his phone number) I’m not blocked on Instagram and he doesn’t really use Facebook so I’m not blocked there yet . I know he was waiting for his visa to come and visit and we had been planning our future together he told me we were going to have a nice life together. Is he gone for good ,what do I do now ? I’ve not tried any further way to contact him now for 5 days . I’m at a loss as we didn’t even row or break up ? Is this it now ? Many thanks in advance
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 6, 2019 at 8:36 pm
Hey Molly so you need to go into no contact and do some self work and then when you have gone 45 days without speaking to him or replying to anything from him you can reach out a friend hopefully unblocked by that time. You need to learn how to control your reactions even if they are impulsive to gnat when you are feeling insecure or needy and how to distract yourself so that you dont overwhelm a person with your need for attention. That is something that can cause many people to not want to be in a relationship with someone so the sooner you fix those issues the better for yourself.
Anika
March 29, 2019 at 7:22 pm
We were in relationship of 7 months my parents also knew about him even he had meet my parents also in past I was cheating on him he also knows about it and always says that one day you will becomes mine forever then after I had made one guy friend and he has misbehaven with me so I told my ex about it he ask me that why didn’t u gave a slap on his face in anger I replied that I was enjoying that from that day he is upset from me and one day he told me that we should become friends now but I started crying so he cuts the phone call and now he has broken up with me 1 month has been passed we haven’t talk he had blocked me from everywhere I think he was a nice guy because my step father was not good with me but he knew everything and then also he accepted me and few days later I have called him from unknown number bt he cut the call and immediately blocked the number can I get him back again?
Laura
February 13, 2018 at 6:00 pm
Hi amor i already sent you this and your answer wasn’t enough
we’ve been dating for 2 years After his father passed away he told me he didn’t have no feelings anymore toward me because we fought a lot and i didn’t want to leave him alone but he hurted me a lot saying that i have no dignity and he’s so sick of me after a week he dumped me and blocked me from all the social media but he still have my number i’m sure now it’s have been 5 months and he’s still blocking we didn’t talk all this period of time and i’m not in love with him anymore but i want him to unblock me and regain my dignity and get him to talk to me any advice ? ?? and sometimes i wish we could get back together :c
I wish you could tell me what TO DO !!!!! i want him to text me
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 18, 2018 at 11:01 am
Oh sorry..I meant you have to move on and give the dignity and power back to yourself by letting it go. Dont rely it on getting him to talk to you again but honestly it’s a small chance because it’s already been months and you’re still blocked.
Laura
February 5, 2018 at 6:54 pm
we’ve been dating for 2 years After his father passed away he told me he didn’t have no feelings anymore toward me because we fought a lot and i didn’t want to leave him alone but he hurted me a lot saying that i have no dignity and he’s so sick of me after a week he dumped me and blocked me from all the social media but he still have my number i’m sure now it’s have been 5 months and he’s still blocking we didn’t talk all this period of time and i’m not in love with him anymore but i want him to unblock me and regain my dignity and get him to talk to me any advice ? ?? and sometimes i wish we could get back together :c
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2018 at 11:49 am
Hi Laura,
Your dignity doesn’t rely on talking to him again.. Actually wanting that makes you look like you’re chasing him.
Feeling Lost
November 26, 2017 at 12:39 pm
My ex changed his number and deleted his whatsapp and we have no mutual friends he also told me he don’t want me in his life but I didn’t know if he was saying it out of anger because we were arguing st the time or if he really meant it
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 28, 2017 at 2:02 am
Hi Feeling lost,
let him be for now.. continue posting in sites where your posts stays..just make them public..
Nath
October 21, 2017 at 7:59 pm
How do you know if your phone number has been blocked?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 24, 2017 at 1:52 pm
It depends on the phone or network..but if you can’t call him pr your messages won’t send but others can then you probably are
Miranda
September 5, 2017 at 4:31 pm
Hey! A day ago my ex talked to me about thinking to get serious with me, he didn’t want a relationship, but he said he wanted a future with me, so we talked about it. And he went to sleep and i asked if he was going to think about it and also said that i wanted to be with someone who really loved me and it felt kinda bad that he had to think about it. Next day he had blocked my phone, I tried talking to him in snapchat he blocked me instantly, i tried in other social media and also blocked. He didnt give me a chance to know why or talk about it. I don’t know what i did, we had fought before but never blocked, he said he had no reason to. So i guess now is definitely. Why would he? Will he ever unblock me? We have no friends in common and he doesn’t live here either.
Miranda
September 7, 2017 at 11:11 pm
We broke up like 2 weeks before that because well he didn’t want a relationship, we were “together” for 8 months and he texted that he was thinking about getting serious
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 12, 2017 at 9:26 pm
He’ll probably unblock you.. but you should start the no contact rule if he’s that undecisive.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 7, 2017 at 7:45 pm
HI Miranda,
why did he say that? Did you ask him for a chance?
Sara
August 28, 2017 at 2:00 am
Hi there,
There’s this guys who I met 3 years ago… I really like him and I’m pretty sure he did too. We had our ups and downs and although I know he had feelings for me, he never accepted it because he was too scared… so st the end of last year we started to be distant from each other although my feelings for him were still strong, I didn’t want to show them to him. We stopped talking and one day I realised that he removed himself from whatsapp where we used to communicate. It really hurt me but I had decided not to run after him. I had thought he just removed the app and nothing else. Six months later I texted him but no reply so I called him and it went straight to his voice mail. I kept calling and calling with hidden or different number to make sure that I wasn’t blocked but realised that he changed his number. I was heartbroken! We both do not have social media or mutual friends… so how would it be possible to get in touch again? I love him so much…
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 28, 2017 at 7:06 pm
Hi Sara, Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back After Years Apart
have you checked this one:
Samantha
August 17, 2017 at 11:56 am
To start off I want to say no one knows your relationship like yourself, but I still would like an opinion. So, my ex and I broke up back in May. I ended things because since we been together he wasn’t sure what he truly wanted so I forced myself to end it. We broke up exactly May 21st and day before he cried to me saying he doesn’t know what is wrong with him (we were still together) that it’s something within himself and he doesn’t last long in relationships and etc. I just felt like he wasn’t putting in his 100% effect so I gave him what he wanted I suppose. Our relationship was just 8 months long BUT we have been in each others lives since 2013 and in 2014 was when we started a FWB situation. Anyway, since May 21st I told him i’m sorry but I can’t be with someone who is unsure of me and etc and he said he knows it his loss and he is sorry for everything. So the next week I tried contacting him to work on things and he told me come over so we can talk, and then next day he said he thinks we should just leave things the way they are. Since then, I tried everything possible and he finally ended up blocking my phone number. I contacted him in all ways possible via phone (text, calls, facetime), showing up at his place uninvited, whatsapp, email, even through his family and it’s been a wreck. He’s gotten upset at me and said hurtful things to me like leave me alone, let me be, move on, I don’t want to be with you.. like I am in shock but I guess it’s my own fault cause I should have let him be. He would have never blocked me if I would have just left him alone after the breakup but I didn’t want to end it yet I did cause I was giving him what he wanted in a way so he can figure himself out. Since June 5th I think was last time we spoke which was face to face and that’s when things got ugly but I know he is mad I kept trying to pursue him. Hopefully he doesn’t mean what he says since he was angry. I still tried reaching out to him since I last saw him AND after he blocked me through whatsapp, and iMessage through my email and it went through “delivered” but no response from him.. i even tried leaving voicemails and nothing. I went back to his place couple times after and he was even more angry and same things he told me. I just wanted us to talk and try to work things out and even if we don’t get back together, at least try to get on speaking terms with him. Anyway, last time I officially contacted him was via email and then sent a iMessage asking him to read it which went through by the way, and again never responded and that was since July 20th. Couple days later I went to a restaurant for my birthday and he was there surprisingly with coworkers and etc and he didn’t even acknowledge me.. which was expected. My mother told me he said hi to her at least but nothing to me which I knew he wasn’t going to anyway. Anyway, since July 20th, I haven’t reached out. I tried texting just to see if my # is blocked and it still is but I knew I was cause i’m sure he would have reached out it I was unblocked. So since July 20th I started no contact and today makes 4 weeks.. July 24th was my birthday and that was the last time we officially saw each other but neither one of us made eye contact. He doesn’t have social media like since we been together his facebook has been deactivated and still is and mine is as well he when we got together he ended up deleting his snapchat and instagram and I been deleted mine as well. I spoke to his family couple times but since I decided to do no contact I haven’t heard from his friends or family since then. His brother wished me a HBD on snap but that was it. He never blocked me on WhatsApp but I am scared to contact again cause I still think it’s too soon and want him to contact me. Do I leave it alone? Will he come back and realize things? I know he cares deep down but how can you act so cold when I was just trying to get back together or at least talk to you? This situation is complicated I know but like I said, i’m scared to contact him again and it’s been officially 4 weeks today since I haven’t tried reaching out. Everyone tells me he will be back and contact me or realize his loss but I can’t help someone who can’t help themselves as in he said he wanted to be with me yet he wasn’t sure that he’s too complicated.. he told me he wanted to work on things a week before our breakup and I feel he thinks I gave up on him but I didn’t, I just wanted him to realize I can’t wait forever! Yet I still want to be with him cause I know I didn’t want to end our relationship yet I felt the need to. A friend of mine told me a friend of ours told her he was the one who broke up with me but didn’t want to get into details as in he told her he didn’t want to speak of the situation. So he didn’t give her details. What should I do? I have been trying to work on myself, but I feel down still. I have a lot going on for me but I felt we were so happy..
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 17, 2017 at 3:48 pm
Hi Samantha,
If you weren’t active in posting ,re start the count, continue improving yourself and be active in posting in sites where posts last even if he doesn’t have an account or your blocked
Wren
July 25, 2017 at 1:08 am
My ex boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me about 3.5 months ago because he said he was unhappy. hard for me to believe since he stayed in it for so long. I did try to give him his stuff back and he wouldn’t respond to my texts when I asked to meet to give him his stuff so I showed up at his house unannounced and he threatened to call the police.
I have not behaved appropriately since the break up but he has not either. A lot happened after the break up (pregnancy and miscarriage) and I feel that it needs to be discussed before we both get busy with school and I am not sure how to do it when he has blocked me again. He unfriended me on Facebook, snapchat, and he blocked my phone number for a second time.
We were speaking every few weeks but then we stopped because the last time we talked I was drunk and he said he didn’t want to talk to me anymore even though I think that’s a lie because when emotions run high, logic runs low.
I want him back soon. I need your help. I feel my situation is hopeless and I don’t know what to do.
He will not respond to anything and I have tried to see if someone can help me get in touch with him and i don’t want to show up at his house for fear that he will call the police and it will ruin my chances of school and a future. i really want him back and i am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I don’t know how to get him to unblock me again. help!
Wren
August 1, 2017 at 5:22 pm
I get tagged in photos and such but that is all. I just don’t know how to get out of the mindset of “all i want is to have him back” because that is all I want. I just feel hopeless and I am not sure what to do to get him back when I am continuously ignored and things need to be discussed.
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 3, 2017 at 5:09 pm
That means you need to start a new routine in your life. Do things that has progress like volunteering, joining a short course,etc. Move on without totally moving on. Prepare your life if you don’t get him back..that doesn’t mean the hurt will go away but even though it hurts, you’re being productive.
Your actions, schedule, habits and routine are all towards growth. Mature women or ungettable women doesn’t mean they don’t get hurt. They just choose the sensible choice for themselves because they know their self and time worth because you can’t get back time.
Trying to build rapport after nc is like giving the ex a chance after all the drama has passed and both of you are more rational, to see for yourself if he’s still worth it for you.
If he’s unresponsive or negative, that means it’s his loss and it would be easier for the mature woman to focus attention on something else even though what happened hurt them.
Check the link below:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant
Wren
July 31, 2017 at 7:09 pm
Posting on social media you mean? if so, not really. I did some things with friends, but I mostly kept to myself. He unfriended me on facebook anyway so there wasn’t really a way for him to look at my stuff since I have intense privacy settings. I just want him back. I look and feel the best I’ve felt physically in a while, but I just know that I want him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 1, 2017 at 3:54 pm
It’s important to be active in posting..you just have to make the post public so he can see it when he gets curious. Physical changes are good but it doesn’t matter if you’re still in the “all i want is to get him back” mindset.. That will make you desperate and chase..
Wren
July 27, 2017 at 10:59 pm
I’ve been super active since the break up: running/lifting weights, cooking, following a new diet, and spending time alone and with family and friends. But all I want is to have him back and I feel that I have messed up big time and I am not sure what to do to get him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 30, 2017 at 5:56 pm
That’s very good that you’re active but the most important thing that it should achieve is the change of your mindset.. From being to being ungettable.. That even if you dont get him back, it will hurt but you’re going to be fine.. You wont chase him and you’ll just continue in life.. Were you active in posting during nc?
Wren
July 27, 2017 at 10:11 pm
I have already done the no contact rule, I did it for about 7 weeks and then I reached out to him again via Facebook messenger last week with no response. Then I reached out to him again (yesterday) with no response. I leave for school in about 2 weeks and I need to get some closure or work towards reconciliation. What do I do now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 25, 2017 at 5:08 pm
Hi Wren,
are you going to do the no contact rule? If yes, you need to do at least 45 days and be really active in starting a new routine of having your own life..