What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back

Here’s How Mary Got Her Ex Boyfriend To Unblock Her (And Eventually Come Back)

I’m sure Mary was shocked when she woke up one day to find her boyfriend had blocked her on Facebook.

Out of the blue with no warning whatsoever…

I mean, who even does that?

One day Mary is walking around thinking everything is fine and the next day she wakes up to find that her boyfriend has disappeared from her on Facebook.

He wanted to breakup and this was his weird way of informing her.

So, Mary did what ever self respecting woman does in that situation, she begged for her ex back.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t having any of it.

So, how the heck did Mary get her ex back?

Well, find out by watching the video below as I interview her,

Interview Transcript

  • I’m going to ask you the question I ask everyone who sort of see success, how did you find exboyfriend recovery?

  • I did a Google search for how do I get my boyfriend back.

  • So, you landed on the article, probably how do I get my exboyfriend  back, and what were your initial impressions of the article?

  • I liked that I was able to get a lot of information upfront without having to go through with sales pitch.

  • And then of course I sales pitched the hell out of you! Just kidding. Obviously at some point, you did buy the book. I’m always kind of curious to hear because everyone has like little different paths that they take. Some people like devour the entire site and it’s not enough and then they want the book or some people will devour an article and then they want the book. Where did you fall in that range?

  • I think I devoured the entire site but the success stories–when I found out about the Facebook group, that was what sold me on buying the book because I knew that I needed support from other people that were in my same position.

  • I have a bunch of different quizzes on there, I also have the webinar. Did you kind of go through that path?

  • I took the quiz several times and I did the webinar too, yeah.

  • And so, eventually you bought the book and you came into Facebook group and you’ve been pretty active on the Facebook group. What were your initial thoughts of the Facebook group?

  • I loved it because there were people in all stages of this process and I found a lot of wisdom there. I was able to learn from other people’s mistakes. I was able to rejoice with them when they were successful and cry for them when they were not. It was just a really great experience.

  • You were pretty active. I noticed you came a lot on Facebook lives and I saw your profile picture and everything up a lot during posting. It seems like you work with my wife a ton. So, one of the sort of feedbacks I keep hearing back from people on the Facebook group is that they love that they can see other people going through the exact same thing that they’re going through because so many people feel like they’re alone. Did you feel like a little bit of that vibe going on?

  • Yeah, exactly. It’s great not to feel alone. You feel like that because nobody else knows what you’re going through until you find someone who knows exactly what you’re going through and then you click and you understand each other.

  • It’s also come to my attention recently that the Facebook group, a lot of the girls are like friend requesting each other’s personal profiles and they got this clever little scheme going on, whenever they post like a picture, they’ll have all the other gilrs like like it and comment on it. Were you  a part of that?

  • No. I didn’t really go there, yet. Maybe I will. It’s a great idea though.

  • I thought it was genius. I was interviewing someone yesterday and they were telling me about it. I was just like, “What?” It was like going on. I had no idea at all. So, tell me a little bit about your ex and exactly what you did to see success.

  • Well, he blocked me one day out of the blue and I asked him what was going on and I got the impression that he was breaking up with me and I begged and pleaded with him. He told me to stop it and that’s when I knew I had to stop. I had to leave him alone and I knew if I was ever going to get him back, I had to just go away for a while and give him room to miss me.

  • So, you came to the Facebook group obviously and you did some form of the no contact rule, how did that kind of go? Because a lot of women struggled during this period of no contact?

  • It was hard at first because probably the first 3 or 4 days were hard because I was so obsessively checking to see if I’m still blocked and looking for any clues that you know if he might be thinking about me or missing me but after that, it got a lot easier mainly because he didn’t try to contact me.

  • Obviously when a man doesn’t try to contact you during the no contact rule, there’s this internal voice that says to the back of your head like, “Wait, this isn’t working.” Did that happen to you at all or were you pretty steadfast and sticking to it until the end?

  • I was steadfast. I was going all the way. I had to quit caring whether he was thinking about me or not. I was actually really greatful that he didn’t reach out because I knew that it would be harder for me to ignore him if he was attempting to me.

  • How long was your no contact period?

  • I went 28 days before I heard from him.

  • When you finally did hear from him, what was that like immediately? Because I’m assuming you kind of had picked the 30 day rule to kind of abide by.

  • I did and it’s very difficult to think about 2 extra days.

  • Right. Did you do those 2 extra days or did you decide, “Ok, I’ve done enough. It’s time.”

  • I don’ know. What do you think? I got a couple of text messages that I ignored then he unblocked me on Facebook.

  • Interesting.

  • And sent me a Facebook message. So, ignoring those texts was key to getting myself unblocked.

  • I always tell people who are always asking me, it’s like the worst answer I have to give them. They’re asking me, “How do I get him to unblock me?” And I just tell them, look, time. Often times he’ll do it on his own. So, you did the 30 day rule, you made it 28 days, when he reached out to you through text, I’m assuming, what was he saying to you?

  • He was saying that–

  • You can be vague with it but just give me like the gist.

  • I need to bring your stuff back to you, looks like you’ve moved on, have a nice life. When I ignored that, he got a little angrier. So, I did end up breaking my silence to kind of diffuse that anger and say, “Listen, I’m real busy. I’ll get back to you later.”

  • I’m assuming after you kind of diffused the anger, all was the right in the world with him. He had gotten the response that he was craving.

  • After I sent that, I got a laugh out loud. So, the anger diffusing worked and it bought me that extra time that I needed.

  • Now, it gets interesting. You’ve done the no contact rule for 28 days. Like I said, I’ve got this three different periods. The 21 day rule, the 30 day rule and the 45 day rule and it kind of looks like you have gone over 21 days and you could have probably broken it there and it seems to me like he was so stubborn like “She’s going to be the one that reaches out to me first.” And then he kind of waited because it was weighing on his mind and he just broke down and texted you first. So, it seems like the no contact rule was working but obviously you haven’t gotten him back yet. What did you do after the no contact rule to kind of put things in motion for that?

  • Well, I ignored everything that he said in his first text about bringing the stuff back and moving on. I just ignored all that and I used my first contact text that I had prepared in advance and that worked beautifully. He responded very well and then we were able to talk about the other issues that he raised.

  • Ok, so let’s create a kind of a timeline here. You did the no contact rule for 28 days and then it seems like you kind of diffused the anger and then you kind of sent your first contact text message the next day?

  • Right.

  • Ok, so the next day and then how long were you in the texting phase per say?

  • Well, that’s just been a couple of days ago.

  • Really? It went fast. It was just like the momentum had just built up. It didn’t take much to get the ball rolling?

  • Yeah, very fast. Once I agreed to talk to him, he actually called me on the phone which shocked me so much that I actually answered it and we ended up talking for a while and we’re back together.

  • Now, that you’re back together, what are some of your concerns? I’m assuming over all in the grand scheme of things,  you want marriage. That’s waht most women do want. Do you feel like this is the guy that can get you there?

  • Yeah, I think so and I don’t know what the timeline is going to look like. But now I know I’m ok with him or without him. So, I’m in a stronger position to have a good relationship with him because of what I went through during the 30 days or 28 in my case.

  • Yeah, so let’s back up. What were some of the things you did during that no contact rule? Because it seems to me, you’re very, very strong emotionally and you are really good at executing things and it seems like you have this paradigm shift where you aren’t begging for him back. What was your secret to getting through those 28 days?

  • I started working out everyday and particularly lifting weights. It was really symbolic for me to become strong inside and out.

  • I like that a lot. So, you lifted weights. I’m assuming you read the exboyfriend recovery pro where I talked about the heath, wealth and relationships aspects. If we can kind of look at your life during the no contact rule, what did you do for those 3 aspects or did you just focus more of your time in the health aspect?

  • I focused on the health aspect because the other two areas were really starting to slip.

  • You were kind of banking on the fact that health was going to give you confidence in your wealth and relationship–

  • I’m also living on a  budget, taking some financial planning classes. So, I do that every week too.

  • Smart. You’re just basically doing all these things to cultivate your life and obviously you’re a buy woman, so you can’t like dedicate all of your time into these three areas. You have to dedicate time to your family, dedicate time to working out, dedicate time to making a living. It’s not like you can just pour everything you have into all three. You sort of have to figure out the time allotment there but it seems to me that the fact that you’re so busy worked in your advantage. I mean you’ve been on the group, you see how many women struggle with the no contact rule and every time he texts or says something bad they’re freaking out and want to break the no contact. It seems like your busyness worked to your advantage.

  • I think it’s a great idea to stay busy. It’s easier to ignore that text that comes in and it’s good to take your mind off of that. You’re not gong to improve your life if you’re obsessing over something that you don’t have at the moment.

  • Let me ask you, someone who’s going through the no contact rule right now and they’re struggling, if you can give them just one piece of advice, what would it be?

  • Put the phone down, take a walk or call a friend, anybody to get your mind off of that guy that you don’t have at the moment.

  • For you, what were some of the–I guess I want to talk about some of the struggles you had. What was the most difficult moments you had during the break up. Like was it, the no contact period? Were you ignoring him or was it the actual act of the break up itself and sort of the fall off behind the break up?

  • It was the break up.

  • The break up.

  • Yes, it was just losing all of the dreams that I have built up. All the plans that we had made. Losing that, was the most difficult part.

  • Obviously, it spurred you to want to get him back, was there ever a point during the no contact rule where you were thinking, “You know what, I don’t care if I get him back.”

  • Yes, I think it looks good to get to that point because then I was ok with whatever happened. I had to become detached enough to be ok with whatever the outcome was going to be.

  • It’s really crazy. The more and more women I talk to specifically in person like this, the more I see that the women who get to that point, like truly get to that point, end up having a lot more success with. It’s like they give off some weird vibe or something or some positive vibe to their ex. It’s like a magnet. He just gets drawn in again.

  • I don’t believe he would have contacted me–I believe he contacted me at the point where he started to wonder if I was seeing somebody else.

  • I have seen that a lot as well. I’m sure you’ve seen it in the group where the guy during the no contact will reach out and say, “Oh you’re seeing someone else.” Like I said, his mind is his own worst enemy. He’s just like imagining things that aren’t really happening but that could potentially be happening and so I imagine your ex was probably doing that with you. But did you get like verification of that after the fact when you actually started talking to him?

  • Yeah, he was concerned that I had moved on and that I had you know.

  • So Mary, I guess the last question I have for you is, how did the group helped you throughout this time? Because I did notice you’re pretty active on the group whether it’s asking for advice, whether it’s–you showed to a few Facebook lives if I’m not mistaken. During the hard times, did you turn to the Facebook group a lot or was it just sort of like an all day thing where you just kind of looked at your phone or computer or whatever you’re attending it on?

  • For me, it felt good to be able to support other people but particularly in the last couple of days where I needed to respond that’s when the Facebook became really valuable to me because I couldn’t send anything without checking it with the girls first. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I just felt like it was really critical that I was given the right impression with my responses. So, yeah, having people there ready to help me formulate responses was really invaluable.

  • It’s really cool too because these are people going through the exact same thing you are. So, they kind of understand your mindset a little bit better than I even could. Like I can probably understand a man’s mindset better than a woman’s but it’s like group therapy, is the best way I could describe it. Let me ask you going forward, is there anything that you want my take on? Is there anyway I can help you going forward?

  • Sure, yes.

  • Go for it. Ask away.  If you want to learn how to make a million dollars, you need to go buy a lotto ticket–laughs.

  • Moving forward, I’m not even sure quite yet because we haven’t even met in person again yet.

  • So, you just have this verbal agreement that you’re kind of official again right?

  • Yes, we’re official.

  • Life is getting in the way right now of basically meeting. So, I guess you’re wondering how you should handle the very first meeting.

  • Right. We have decide to see each other on Friday and I don’t where, what we’re going to do yet but just trying to nail down an appropriate way to begin again.

  • Yeah, if you want my opinion, I think you should start off small. Like a small coffee date whenever you got time and end it short. I know I talk about that in the book but if you cut the date a little bit short, he’s going to want more. He’s going to come back again. That’s kind of what you want to have happened ideally but I’m eager to hear what your thoughts were. LIke what were you thinking would be a great date for that first sort of reconnection.

  • Yeah, I think getting together for a drink would be best.

  • So, let me ask you–

  • Some place quiet, some place where we can talk and yeah to keep it short. He seems to be confused by this that I’m wanting to take it slow. So, I don’t want him to feel confused. I don’t want him to feel pushed away but I feel like I’m walking a fine line here.

  • Is there anything like specifically that you’re sort of worried about?

  • Well, he mentioned getting married.

  • During the verbal agreement where you’re kind of reconnecting over the phone and basically saying let’s be official again, he did mention that that was his intention?

  • Yes, he mentioned that during his first contact text.

  • He is trying to lock you down. He’s pulling out all the stops.

  • That’s great. I’d like to be locked down. I want that ring. I don’t want burble anything anymore.

  • I always say talk is cheap. He can say that’s his intention but it’s one to say, it’s another thing to actually back it up. I do think it’s a smart idea to take things slow and progressively build them up because that’s probably how you’re going to get what you want more than just rushing in and then he’ll know he’ll have you and then he’ll know he can kind of string you along some more. You seem very intelligent woman. It seems to me like you don’t need a lot of over arching guidance. You kind of know what you’re doing.

  • I tend to rush though so.

  • It might be a little difficult for you to stay slow, is what you’re saying?

  • Yeah, absolutely.

  • Keep the first date–I think going out for drinks is a good idea. Let me ask you, going out for the drinks at night or during the day?

  • Well, in the evening is going to be my only option.

  • Because life things in the get away. That’s sort of the only time in your schedule where that’s even possible?

  • That’s right.

  • You’re kind of stuck to the evening which is fine. It’s a more romantic atmosphere but I think it’s important that you cut the date short because it’s going to confuse him that you’re cutting it short but it’s also going to make him want you more and come back for that second date, and that third date and so on and so forth.

  • Yeah, I see the wisdom in that.

  • Let me also tell you, it’s a lot more difficult than it seems. Like cutting a date short because often times, when you feel and sense it’s going well, you want it to continue but you also have to have the discipline to say, “Ok, actually I got to run.” You can make up some excuse. I’m sure you’ve got–you can make up something like legitimate and to say, “Hey, I got to run” or something like that real quick. And the results will be really interesting. I think you’ll be shocked at how well it works.

  • Ok, I will take your word for it.

  • You can just bash me on the Facebook group if it goes wrong.

  • Alright.

  • Don’t do that! laughs! Is there anymore things that you want to ask?

  • No, I feel I’m pretty good about how things are going now.

  • I think you got a real chance of getting the ring. I really do.

  • When I started the process and when I joined the group, I had no hope. I felt like since I was blocked, I was probably blocked on the phone and even if I send a text. That he wouldn’t get it or he wouldn’t respond so, I couldn’t be more pleased with the way things have turned out so far.

  • Keep the momentum going. It seems like you’ve got the ball rolling. You got him back. It just seems like a win for you would be marriage on what I’m gathering right?

  • Yes, that right.

  • That’s what you’re going after. So, you’re on the right path but you know Rome is not built in a day. So, just take it slow, take it easy and you’ll get there.

  • Great. Thank you Chris!

  • Yeah, no problem.

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

34 thoughts on “Here’s How Mary Got Her Ex Boyfriend To Unblock Her (And Eventually Come Back)”

  1. Lara

    June 3, 2017 at 7:28 am

    Hi. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. He said it’s not right time for us to be in a relationship and relationships are not his things. But I know he fell out of love with me probably because of my clingy behaviour. The breakup wasn’t out of the blue since we were having problems. He didn’t wanted to commit. So when he broke up with me I didn’t beg him to stay or anything. I just told him to take care of himself and not to contact me again. (I didn’t even meant that).
    So yeah I was hurtand wanted him back badly but I didn’t contact yet. Just 1 week ago he texted me at 3am saying he’s sorry for everything that ever happened between us. And that he knows that I hate him now. I calmly told him that I don’t hate you. And then he replied with ‘you’re hurt because me’. The conversation didn’t go that well cause after a while he stopped responding and said just ‘okay’. That’s it. Maybe I screwed up and couldn’t text probably. I just don’t know I don’t think he’ll come back. Will he text me again? Btw, we were in a ldr relationship.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 3, 2017 at 4:15 pm

      probably.. are you going to do the no contact rule?

  2. Lara

    June 3, 2017 at 7:27 am

    Hi. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. He said it’s not right time for us to be in a relationship and relationships are not his things. But I know he fell out of love with me probably because of my clingy behaviour. The breakup wasn’t out of the blue since we were having problems. He didn’t wanted to commit. So when he broke up with me I didn’t beg him to stay or anything. I just told him to take care of himself and not to contact me again. (I didn’t even meant that).
    So yeah I was hurtand wanted him back badly but I didn’t contact yet. Just 1 week ago he texted me at 3am saying he’s sorry for everything that ever happened between us. And that he knows that I hate him now. I calmly told him that I don’t hate you. And then he replied with ‘you’re hurt because me’. The conversation didn’t go that well cause after a while he stopped responding and said just ‘okay’. That’s it. Maybe I screwed up and couldn’t text probably. I just don’t know I don’t think he’ll come back. Will he text me again? Btw we were in a ldr relationship.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 3, 2017 at 4:15 pm

      probably.. are you going to do the no contact rule?

  3. P.A

    April 27, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    Hello,

    I’ve been broken up with my ex boyfriend for little over a year now, we’ve been on and off talking and sometimes even go for months without talking. A few months back he completely stopped all contact but then a few months later he contacted me out of the blue regarding a money matter. After that I didn’t expect anymore contact but he reached out again and we’ve started talking here and there throughout the week (he has to block me when he’s with his girlfriend, when he’s at work he can talk to me freely). He said he likes knowing what I’ve been up to and checking on me, and that he misses our old times of hanging out and so forth. He also said “I hate to admit but I do miss you”. After a month or so of talking I tried the meeting up step which he declined due to having a girlfriend. However, this week I reached out to him again, after he told me (he said he’s barely told anyone) about some of his issues, offering him the fact I am here to talk to or even if he wants to hang out. He said “that’d be good :)” and we organised a day to meet however he didn’t show up. I then jokingly said he owed me a day and suddenly a few hours later he showed up to my house asking if I wanted him to come over. We chatted like old times for about 30 minutes and he went on his way. I asked him if he’d like to meet again and he said he can’t make it a regular thing due to his girlfriend. He also keeps mentioning that nothing will happen between me and him unless something happens with his girlfriend. Is this maybe a sign? I really would like some input on my current situation and where you think I currently stand. Thank you! 🙂

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 28, 2017 at 6:18 pm

      If I was in your situation I would move on.. Because he’s either making you a back up, trying to be friends with benefits, date both of you or too coward to go for you.. Just one of those reasons is enough to walk away..the longer you talk to him and see him and ask if he’s going to meet you, the more you look like you’re too available and expecting

  4. Katarina

    April 26, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    Hello. I was always available to him, we ended in bad terms and after two years of nc my ex added me on facebook. Its been a week and still no contact. I really miss him, how do i get him to chase me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 29, 2017 at 10:28 pm

      if he sees you or your posts, would he be interested?

  5. Luna

    April 26, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    It’s been four months since my ex told me that we needed a break (we did, I’ve became too clingy and negative and our last weeks together were 70% arguments). At first we keep in touch as he wished, later he became cold… And after a while (NC) we talked and he told me that he left last year behind and he is in another time of his life (not with another girl) and said that we could be friends and maybe met some day (we live in different cities but near) but in anither “pace”. and let me knew that he keeped my photos (we used to ask me for selfies and pictures of me)and asked if I was ok with that. After that, he text me two or three times in two weeks sending me things that reminded him to me and movies and tv series we used to watch together. He even suggested that one day we could watch some episodes together” (by distance, just texting) as we used to do. Last week I texted him with some similar stuff (a book that I was using in my job that days, about something he loves). He answer me with a bunch of emojis and one word and when I replayed he didn’t text more. The subject wasn’t very engaging so I shouldn’t expect more. When we were together we texted each other al day long and great part of the night about anything but obviously that’s not the situation anymore. This Friday is the premiere of a movie he’s really waiting for (me too but not as much as him) and I want to text him and letting him know that I’m gonna watch it too and that we can talk about the film later but I don’t know if it’s a good idea.
    I really miss him and want him back but I don’t know how to make him “addicted” to talk with me as he used to be, how to make him want to tell me things and, to sum up, being the person I was to him, when I was the firstperson he told anything, when he was looking forward to our next date, when he preferred texing me than sleep a little more… That kind of things. I don’t know what to do…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 29, 2017 at 10:21 pm

      how long was your nc and how much did you improve?

    2. Luna

      April 30, 2017 at 7:02 pm

      My NC was three weeks and a half. I change my image and keep on with my life as before (I have a great social life and since we lived in different cities, I didn’t stopped it too much when we were together).
      We talked a little three days ago and he seemed to be closer to me, we ageed in talk this weekend about a movie we were going to see (not together) and I texted him hours ago but he is ignoring me.
      I don’t know, I feel super insecure and scared that I’m not gonna make it, I don’t know what to do to get him back

    3. Luna

      May 1, 2017 at 9:47 am

      I reply again because he texted me back yesterday, he was busy with family. He didn’t talk more, he is going to see a movie today and we have decided that we would talk about it after that, so is his move, if he texts me, it’s ok. If not…well, I can’t do it again, I really need him to reach me first, just like the past weeks.
      So it seems that he is being less cold than before, small steps, very small for me because I don’t know if I’m going to make it. When we started he “chased” me, he always wanted to talk…everything was natural and easy. I understand that the situation is different now and that the past few weeks habe been an improvement but I still feel the fear… I am s scared…when we started to talk again he told me that he has moved on (not with another girl, just his life stage) and as I accepted it, he started to talk more, and texting first when he saw something that reminds him to me. My best friend says that she doesn’t believe his “I’ve moved on, I left the past year behind” but… I don’t know, I just want to be the “chased” one again, to make him feel the magic and the illusion of our first months, but I don’t know what to do. I am trying to show him the best side of me again, the Luna of the best part of our relationship: independent, positive… Not the negative, needy, insecure and clingy one. But I don’t know if he is seeing this and I am very afraid that he has really moved on and left me behind. He is very stubborn and capable of “convince” himself that he will be better without me. How can I change his mindset?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2017 at 11:28 am

      I agree with letting him initiate for now.. the best you can do is to really be independent. That means being more busy in your activities than with him

    5. Luna

      May 2, 2017 at 7:50 am

      Thank you Amor. Yes, I guess that it’s the only thing I can do but it is very difficult to focus when I’m missing him… BUt I`ll try

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 2, 2017 at 7:11 pm

      ok, that’s good.. you’re welcome!

  6. P.A

    April 23, 2017 at 1:05 am

    Hello,

    I’ve been broken up with my ex boyfriend for little over a year now, we’ve been on and off talking and sometimes even go for months without talking. A few months back he completely stopped all contact but then a few months later he contacted me out of the blue regarding a money matter. After that I didn’t expect anymore contact but he reached out again and we’ve started talking here and there throughout the week (he has to block me when he’s with his girlfriend, when he’s at work he can talk to me freely). He said he likes knowing what I’ve been up to and checking on me, and that he misses our old times of hanging out and so forth. He also said “I hate to admit but I do miss you”. After a month or so of talking I tried the meeting up step which he declined due to having a girlfriend. However, this week I reached out to him again, after he told me (he said he’s barely told anyone) about some of his issues, offering him the fact I am here to talk to or even if he wants to hang out. He said “that’d be good :)” and we organised a day to meet however he didn’t show up. I then jokingly said he owed me a day and suddenly a few hours later he showed up to my house asking if I wanted him to come over. We chatted like old times for about 30 minutes and he went on his way. I asked him if he’d like to meet again and he said he can’t make it a regular thing due to his girlfriend. He also keeps mentioning that nothing will happen between me and him unless something happens with his girlfriend. I know this is general speaking but I feel like he’s trying to hint something. I really would like some input on my current situation and where you think I currently stand. Thank you! 🙂

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 28, 2017 at 6:19 pm

      If I was in your situation I would move on.. Because he’s either making you a back up, trying to be friends with benefits, date both of you or too coward to go for you.. Just one of those reasons is enough to walk away..the longer you talk to him and see him and ask if he’s going to meet you, the more you look like you’re too available and expecting

    2. P.A

      May 3, 2017 at 7:36 am

      He continuously keeps asking me if I still have feelings for him as well. Does this mean anything? He also says he enjoys talking to me and I think he still checks all of my social media

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 3, 2017 at 7:47 pm

      because he’s trying to guage if he can still string you along

    4. P.A

      May 11, 2017 at 7:24 pm

      Does that apply if he traveled 2 hours to come and make sure I was okay when I said I was upset and having a really bad day?

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 11, 2017 at 8:29 pm

      that’s a good sign if he really did come but not enough if he’s still with another girl.. but if he just suggested to come, that’s different

    6. P.A

      May 12, 2017 at 12:02 pm

      Well he asked was I okay because I was being off when we texting and then he suggested to leave me alone if I wanted but then suddenly the same time he said he would leave me alone he would come and see me so I could talk about it and I said after the last time he saw me would he be fine with it and he said yeah

  7. Anne

    April 21, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    Hi!
    My ex broke up with me in the end of November mainly because I was too insecure. We used to live together. After this I went to my mother’s house and we spent two weeks of no contact. Then I had to come back home, but I would always sleep in my sister’s house. By this time we started talking again as friends. Many times in a flirtatious way. He left home in the beginning of February and then I came back home for good (I live in the apartment now). After a few days I asked him for us to be together again and he said no, cause he waited two months for me to say something and I didn’t. But I didn’t know! He said things were different now. After that he called me drunk a few times to say how much he misses me and that he’s confused about his feelings. He even asked me back once but then changed his mind when he was sober. That was in the end of February. After that we made out a couple times, when he would call me drunk in the middle of the night telling me all that stuff. Last time he called this way (and I allowed him to come home to sleep over) was in the begging of April. But every time I let him know how I feel about us he says he doesn’t want it anymore. He still calls me eventually or sends messages just to know how I am. Even finds excuses to talk to me sometimes. Gave me chocolate for Easter (a tradition in Brazil). Do I still have a chance to get him back? What should I do? It’s been almost five months! Please please help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 27, 2017 at 10:25 am

      But you’re not living together now right? Restart the no contact rule.. Do the 30 days properly.. And slowly build rapport after

  8. TNT

    April 21, 2017 at 11:39 am

    Hi Chris! (Don’t know if you got my reply I send a couple a days ago, so I will reply to you again!)

    After the NC of 30 days and after that I send him a text saying: “Hey! Just saw the movie [X] and I know how much you liked those movies, it made me think of you!”

    He replyed: “Oh yeah! How was it? Did you like it? :)”

    So I said: “I would! It was really good! But I gotta go now, my friends are waiting for me!”

    He said: “Yeah, talk to you soon!”

    We text like, once a week maybe. But still I always need to start conversation. So it kinda looks like I’m chasing?

    The first contact after the NC was two months ago. So because I always have to start first.. It’s going kinda slow? I don’t need to hurry, I rather do it right than fast!

    But why doesn’t he ever contact me first? He does however alsways reply to my texts!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 25, 2017 at 6:02 pm

      That’s ok if you’re the one initiating as long as you’re the one ending the conversation at high point..you’re just starting to build rapport, it’s normal that he wouldn’t initiate..

  9. JL

    April 20, 2017 at 11:17 am

    Hi Chris I’m currently in the NC period and struggling. I told my BF that I wasn’t happy very emotionally 30 days ago. I was crying hysterically & told him I love him and want to be with him but I was feeling as if he was taking me for granted after the 15 months we were together. He was shocked, holding his head in his hands & didn’t offer much to the conversation except for agreeing that things were feeling different for him also. I should mention that we are both in our 40s, divorced & each have a child from those marriages. Anyways, I left very emotionally after he held me tight for a bit. Neither of us said it was over nor did either of us fight for it. I just want to get back to where we were. Back to where we prioritized each other. I left him a message about a week after this incident on the advice of a friend & before I had found you! I told him I was sorry for how emotional I was and that I would like to meet him to talk with him. I told him I loved him very much. I left that message approximately 21 days ago and I had not heard anything from him. I’m still friends with him on Facebook and I’m doing posting and I’m taking care of myself. I’ve lost over 10 pounds. But the truth is I really miss him and I really love him. He has not blocked me on anything and he also has some of my personal belongings. Do I stay in the NC for another week because I made the telephone call? Or do I go by the break-up date? And do I have a shot or is too much damage done? Thanks for all you do to help us!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 26, 2017 at 3:42 pm

      start with texts first to slowly rebuild rapporr before meeting up

  10. Sally

    April 19, 2017 at 12:15 pm

    My situation doesn’t apply to one single rule. Please advice on NC.

    Had a fantastic relationship for 5 months. During dating, knew he was going to be leaving for a year overseas backpacking and I can’t follow because I’m still in med school. Our dates were so perfect it was like our relationship was perfectly choreographed by the universe. Seriously… I was gobsmacked with how easily we get along and we always had fun. He feels the same.

    The time came when he left. He said we should NC for 2 months and then become friends so we can be less invested. Plus he’s been burnt before from his last gf. It will be so easy for him to be distracted overseas and I know he won’t be celibate all that time so we wistfully agreed to NC. To be perfectly honest he can get any girl he wants, he’s an 11. Obviously during this time I’m active on social media with improvements. I’m even learning a new instrument, skydiving and horseriding, pretty fun! (Not at same time ;D )

    Is this too long a time for NC? Should I wait only 30 days? BUT will it seem like I am chasing if I don’t wait two months? Does it even matter because it’s not like I’ll see him for at least a year anyway? Should I wait for his message first after 2 months? We left at the height of honeymoon and I’m hopeful and determined for a future chance.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 25, 2017 at 10:12 pm

      frankly, if he’s really serious about you, he wouldn’t ask that from you. If you trust him fully, you wouldn’t be thinking that he will not be faithful…he already friendzoned you.. if you really want a relationship from him.. if I was in your position, I will not play by his rules.. he has to work his way of why I should trust him.. if you want to ne friends, continue talking. Other than that, move on

  11. TNT

    April 18, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    Hi Chris!

    My NC ended 1 month ago. I send him a text that said: “I was just at the movies watch [X] and I just thought about how you loved these movies! It made me think of you! Have you seen it yet?”

    He replied: “Haven’t seen it yet, but it looks really promising! Do you reccomand it :)?”

    I said: “I did, it was pretty good! But I have to talk to you later, my friends are waiting on me!”

    He replied: “Yeah, speak to you soon!”

    We texted like 3 more times aftee that.. So once a week. He never starts a conversation, however he does always reply to me. But it looks like I’m still chasing him, because I always text first..

    What to do? I just think he is really busy enjoying his life, that he barely thinks about me or something?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 25, 2017 at 6:02 pm

      That’s ok if you’re the one initiating as long as you’re the one ending the conversation at high point..you’re just starting to build rapport, it’s normal that he wouldn’t initiate..

  12. TNT

    April 18, 2017 at 10:32 am

    Hi!

    My boyfriend dumped me 3 months ago. I did the 30 days NC and inproved myself greatly. My ex never contacted me in the NC period, infact, my ex is also improving himself greatly; Going to the gym, hanging with friends more, driving lessons.. How come he is improving so much? Is he trying to forget me?

    Also, something I’ve been wondering alot and I really want an awnser to: How usual is it for a ex boyfriend to miss you after a few months? (Like, enjoying his life now, but after a few months starting to miss me?)

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2017 at 9:11 pm

      Let’s talk specifically about the text you should send to your ex after no contact.

      Have you considered sending him one?

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