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547 thoughts on “You Broke Up With Your Ex Boyfriend And Now You Want Him Back”

  1. Avatar

    justine

    March 22, 2018 at 6:44 pm

    It started out as a long distance relationship. After six months I moved in with him. After 3 months of living together he started by saying I’m not happy and go back to where your from, because I guit a job there I didn’t like. We fought about me wanting to live for free. I had no money to give. I wasn’t making what I did back home. Then his daughter beat me up, cuz he told me not to let her in the house. It all went down hill from there. The last fight we had I packed my clothes up and left. It’s been a month.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2018 at 6:05 pm

      Hi Justine,

      He’s toxic.. You should move on from him..

  2. Avatar

    :)

    March 6, 2018 at 5:51 am

    Hey so I made a bold move and told my ex that I liked him again and understood if he doesn’t feel the same and he replied with “okay homedog” which made me think I got totally rejected but then again he flirts with me and try’s to show off and I don’t understand thoughts?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2018 at 3:41 pm

      How long were together? When and why did you broke up?

  3. Avatar

    Pelumi

    February 23, 2018 at 7:33 pm

    Hi
    it was a long distance relationship, during my time in school, we had a conversation that led to me telling him a secret about a friend of mine…so after then, he stopped talking to me, stopped calling, texting, so after my exams
    I chatted him up and was pissed
    I broke it off with him
    he replied and said he wasn’t comfortable with me, couldn’t trust me
    I told him a secret I wasn’t suppose to
    and if I could tell him such
    that means I would go about telling people about his life
    and I tried to explain to him
    I took him as my confidante
    I was really upset
    and I needed someone to voice out that issue to
    so he told me to change for future purposes and since then
    we haven’t spoken
    this happened January

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 10:36 am

      Hi Pelumi,

      how long were you together?

  4. Avatar

    Jasmyne

    November 8, 2017 at 4:30 am

    Hey, I broke up with my boyfriend because he told my friend that he might break up with me because he didn’t think it was working out, and so I broke up with him. But, I can’t stop thinking about him, and I still love him but I don’t know if he still loves me.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 8, 2017 at 7:33 pm

      Hi Jasmyne,

      how old are you both? and how long was the relationship? Are you going to try the advice above?

  5. Avatar

    Holly

    November 6, 2017 at 2:37 am

    i need help….i broke up with my boyfriend because i felt like i was dragging him down and after we broke up he acted fine but told everyone he still loved me….and at first i didnt feel anything and then one night it all came crashing down on me of how much i love him but now i dont know what to do to get him back or if he even wants me back after what i did to him

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 6, 2017 at 8:10 pm

      Hi Holly,

      if he wants you back and told it to everyone else, then talk to him..

  6. Avatar

    Anne Siriwardane

    September 24, 2017 at 11:14 am

    hey!
    I had a six year relationship. and I took the first step for breaking up with him because he treated me bad and I was afraid to spend the rest of my life with him. before that I met this guy who treated me as a queen and I took the decision of leaving my boyfriend forever. after I told my boyfriend that I wanted to leave him he was crying and got depressed and begging me not to leave him but I made up my mind to leave him forever. and after sometime the other guy I met asked me out like three times and I couldn’t ever say yes to him. I felt that I cant love any other person because I only love my boyfriend and though he treated me in a wrong way , I never cant forget him because my love for him is true. and I apologized him but now hes not coming back and now I’m suffering and depressed. he says that he cant get back together and he wants me to move on. I cant move on because I cant forget him and I’m so depressed. I need him back . I only can pray to god and there is no one out there to help me. I’m helpless and now its been an year. I went for medical help but no I cant forget him because he is my whole world. I texted him everyday crying and begging him to come. i can do anything to make him come back to me and save our relationship. he told me I’m sorry i cant because i remember how i suffered after you left me. sometimes i feel like killing my self and in every time i tell someone about my problem everyone tells me the save thing “let him go” or “forget him” or you deserve better. what should i do? i need help. i need to save my relationship.

    1. Avatar

      sophia valente

      September 29, 2017 at 4:03 am

      hi, i totally know how you feel. I was with my boyfriend all four years of highschool & we were so in love. I wanted him to be my husband & I wanted to have kids with him. The last six months of our relationship he stopped caring & started lying to me & after a while i got sick of it all & had to end things with him for myself. I couldn’t keep letting him walk all over me. He didnt understand & breaking up was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. I was depressed, felt alone, cried all the time because i didnt want it to end but it had to. I met a guy who treated me 100x better than he ever did but it wasnt the same. Its been a year & I still miss my ex boyfriend so much. Im still struggling with this because I want to reach out to him but I completely shattered his heart and he never wants to talk to me again. I really hope you know that your life is so valuable & you’re not going through something that is permanent. There were points in time that i felt like I wanted to die but nothing EVER is worth taking your own life. Im going to leave you with this: somebody once told me that God has a plan for you. He puts obstacles & things in your path to drive you off course, to test your faith. He does everything for a reason, you just have to trust that God knows whats best for you. Sometimes the things that feel right, aren’t & sometimes the things that seem wrong are right. Its really hard to get over things like this, i know from experience (still getting over it), but I really do believe this is making you a stronger person & you will eventually know Gods purpose when the time comes.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 28, 2017 at 7:44 pm

      HI Anne,

      are you going to try the no contact rule?

  7. Avatar

    Maranda

    July 25, 2017 at 9:52 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend after only 3 months of being together, but we were like best friends before we got together. He acted different while we were together. He had just broken up with his ex for cheating on him, so we got together. After we broke up he got with her again. I feel like she was just his rebound, though. I only realized what I was missing out on only after we broke up. I love him, and I need him back, but he’s still in an iffy relationship with his rebound. I don’t know what to do.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 6:22 pm

      Hi Maranda,

      actually it looks like you’re the rebound.. check this one:
      EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

  8. Avatar

    Gil

    July 17, 2017 at 11:45 am

    I broke up with him after 5 years LDR. I felt it is not moving anywhere, the progress was very slow, I wanted to meet more often and make a plan for the future… He did say I was his priority, is just that he was not sure he wants to have a serious relationship with anyone, as in to live together or get married. We had a great connection, he said I was a wonderful person and he was lucky to have me in his life, but a stupid argument provoked the talk and then I saw no other way but to just break up to preserve my value if he was not ready to commit. He didn’t want to break up. I did more than a month of NC, and miss him terribly and would like to try again.. I have to say previously after arguments he would try harder and make more effort, and he was there for me when I needed him, which gives me hope that maybe he changed his mind. He is very stubborn and proud and won’t initiate talking after I told him to never contact me again… Would I look stupid by reaching now? What if he doesn’t take me seriously? And also I don’t want to just fall into the friends category..or worse to get back to the same gray zone again…

    1. Avatar

      Gil

      July 19, 2017 at 11:19 am

      I did improve, started to date, exercised, travelled and posted new happy photos! He is not on social media though and doesn’t follow it at all, never did it, he is too busy for that..

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      that’s good that you did, but you need to be active in posting because that’s your indirect way of showing the change. He will get curious maybe now or by the time you talk to him.. So, continue improving yourself and do that first.. and then initiate maybe 2 or 3 weeks from now.

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Gil,

      how much did you improve yourself and how active were you in posting?

  9. Avatar

    Laura

    June 15, 2017 at 10:34 am

    Hi there, just looking for some advice on what to do.

    I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years in February of this year. I feel that I had many people interfering in our relationship and I had to many people telling me what to do and i have regretting my decision ever since. We were in a long term relationship for about a year due to me being on a scholarship and I felt i wasn’t getting the support and effort I needed. However, one month no contact has passed and he contacted me and then we spoke briefly and then another month of no contact passed to which I then returned home for summer and I contacted him to see if he would meet up with me and without any hesitation he did. We talked about the break up and what happened and how much we both mean to each other and he was hurt by what happened, of course who wouldn’t. He likes to keep all his feelings to himself and doesn’t give much away however being with him 7 years I knew he still felt the same way and next he lent in to kiss me. I have always wanted to get him back since I broke up with him and he knows that I want us together and I don’t want to lose him for good. I know he wants it too but he says nothing can happen to I’m home for good which is in 6 months and I feel he is scared incase the long distance comes between us again. I feel that I am doing all the chasing and pursuing because theres nothing I want more than us together again. How do I turn the tables and have him chasing me and wanting this too?

    Thanks
    Laura

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 17, 2017 at 7:08 am

      Hi Laura,

      check this one:
      The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship

      and you can’t keep doing nc, the more you do it the less it can help you over time.. so, if you’re going to restart, do the advice above properly..

  10. Avatar

    Nameless

    May 17, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    Hi there! Thanks so much for this site and your advice!
    I was in a relationship with my ex for around 6 months, met the family and friends and everything like that. I broke up with him a couple of months ago because he was becoming distant and I felt like I had to make all the effort with him. I know he was stressed at the time due to workload and he had recently moved houses from being alone to living with a house with his friends. I think this also worried me as I felt like he wouldn’t give me as much attention as he did previously.
    After around a month of feeling like he was becoming distant I asked to meet up with him because I wanted to ‘talk’. On the day we agreed to meet he suddenly told me that he had to go to a friend’s birthday so he wouldn’t be able to meet until after 10. I said to forget it in that case. At the time, I was so worked up that I took it that he didn’t want to see me. I ended up sending him messages saying that he didn’t care about me so I didn’t want to be together. He ignored these messages until the day later when he called me and said that his moped had been stolen and that he had a deadline for work the next day and he couldn’t take anymore.
    Because his ped was stolen he asked me to go to his place and meet him to talk about things, but I was for some reason so annoyed that he wouldn’t come to me seeing as I was the one who was upset. I called him back and told him that I’ve kept telling him that I was unhappy for a while and I felt like he would simply brush it aside and for that reason I didn’t want to be with him. He told me that if I didn’t want to be with him then I should leave. There was no pleading from his side, no word of “lets try and work it out”. It was a very very short conversation, no discussion of what needed work in the relationship. So it ended it and I didn’t speak to him for a week. After a week I called him multiple times and basically begged for him to give us another chance. But at this point he said that he didn’t want to be with me, that he never loved me, he never saw us as long-term and that he was talking to someone else. After multiple attempts of trying to get him back I gave up.
    A few weeks later he sent me various messages asking if I wanted to meet up casually to do some work. I said no, because what he said to me about not loving me was so hurtful. He then eventually asked me how I would feel if he was changing his mind about not wanting to get back together. I told him that I couldn’t trust him so I didn’t know how it would work. At this point he just stopped replying. Another week later I called him asking if he wanted to study together. He said yes, but when I turned up his friend was also there. His friend ended up leaving and it was just us left. He told me that he didn’t want anything from me and I got upset and started crying and telling him how much he hurt me. He told me that we both hurt eachother. I decided to leave and he said that we could talk about it properly after his exams. The night before his exam he sent me a picture of what was coming up in them and I wished him luck. I also sent him a message asking him how they went, but no reply. I have not heard from him since and I don’t think he wants to meet up to talk about things anymore like he had said before his exam.
    He always said to me that once he had broken up with someone there was no chance he would ever go back to that person. He has a lot of pride and is extremely stubborn. I know it would’ve taken a huge hit to his ego that I was the one who ended it with him. What do I do now? I feel like he has lost feelings for me and there is no chance of us getting back together. Is this the end? I feel bad because I totally overreacted with breaking up with him, but he was no angel in our relationship either.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 19, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      do you want to try the advice above?

  11. Avatar

    Riti Rai

    March 25, 2017 at 9:03 am

    Please do read this. And please help me. Its . been Five days I hve broken up with my boyfriend. I hve been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend since an year. 1 month only we hve been together and after dat in long distance relationship. In Beginning he used to text me a lot.Caring for me and what I was upto. But since last 4-5 months he is so busy in his job that he hardly texts me. . So I used to get hurt often. One night when he didn’t text me. I felt awful and sent crying emoticons to him saying u don’t remember me from day to night single time. Next day he replied me its nthng like dat, I love u a lot. Only that m very busy. I said its ok. Then again next night happened the same. No texts at all. I texted Good Night and then no reply. I started to call him, 11 pm. He picked my call, I aaked him whether he was hvng issues with our relation. He said no its not like dat. My business not going well and I hve to make all arrangements for my sister’s marriage. So I am bit tensed. I pull away from you because I don’t want that you take tension. I was in much anger and humiliation dat time. So I said straight that you see your own life. M going and from tomorrow onwards I don’t know who are you and I hve moved on. He begged me a lot to stay back and don’t go. He told sorry. But I blocked him. And after 2 days unblocked him. He started to message again that you hve left me. I think my fate is only bad. May you get someone better than me. I pray for you. We ll never meet again. I read his messages and reblocked him. After blocking I cried. Now I have unblocked him again and I want him back in my life. I can’t imagine anyone else in place of him in my life. M feeling very sad and difficult to carry on with my studies. What shall I do please suggest.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 26, 2017 at 1:09 pm

      Hi Riti Rai,

      do you want to try the advice above?

  12. Avatar

    Lisa

    February 7, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    I have been also ghosted and the funny part is I can’t understand what has happened. We meet from a reputed matrimonial site and started relationship in Dec 2015 when we met for 2 day vacation. We were texting and talking on phone a month before we met personally. I wasn’t that into him in the beginning but he was really chasing and really I will say earned my attention. We were in relationship for 5-6 months and I started seeing decline in interest after 2-3 months. The meetings starts getting canceled and then I was out for business trip for 2 consecutive months and then went to my home country. I also started having feeling that he is losing interest and may be somewhere I felt stuck as I can’t see anyone else and I am not sure if he is that interested. When I came back it was my birthday and he said he is busy that weekend and can’t meet. But he was making plans to go for a trip the other weekend (But never mentioned that we are gonna celebrate my birthday). I got heart broken and I asked him that I want to talk and then he just stopped texting me back and opened his profile on the online dating site where we met first. He texted me after 2 days of my birthday just a wish and I just said thanks. After a week I felt that may be I should initiate a contact and wont mention about our differences. I called and texted and he never responded. I also started moving but after a month I really missed him so I though I will give one more try and I emailed him just a simple saying sorry and that I love him. No response after a month he texted me saying he needs help with some of his school work. I said ok. He came and just didn’t wanted talk about relationship bcoz I thought it was over and helped him that day and during dinner he just catched up what he was doing for those 2 months and I told him about me. He again started communicating showing interest but never talked about what happened. But again after the week I was on a bussiness trip out of country. Texts again started to get less and less. I would see him on facebook but not text me back and I got angry and blocked him. But then again during halloween I just wished him just like to other friends and he immediately started responding. We started communicating once again. Then he asked me to join him for thanksgiving dinner with his family. It was great time his dad liked me :). He also treated me as if I am his girlfriend and was perfectly treating me. Until I came back to my city. The texts started slowly getting less. Now the last time was when it was 31 dec and I wished him for new year and he responded. After that I also stoped texting and after 20 days I texted asking how he is doing. I texted 3-4 times in week and telling what was going on with me. I could see he has read messages but didnt bothered to respond. I just did a final text saying that I am relieved he is ok as i can see he read texts. I won’t bother him anymore with texts and just wished him for birthday which is in Feb. It has been 10 days I havent heard from him. I sent him birthday gift which he should have received when I was texting him but ne never bothered to say thanks. But I will just think that may be we were not compatible all along. But I am in Love with him and it does hurt sometimes. Do you have insight or suggestions?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2017 at 12:26 am

      Hi lisa,

      You need to check this:
      What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You

  13. Avatar

    Lucy

    January 30, 2017 at 8:27 am

    I’ve been in a long distance relationship for almost 5 months now. I love this guy so much and I know he loves me back, even more than I do but I broke up with him because things don’t go right. I have mental issues like depression and I’m bipolar and he’s always so positive and bright it makes me angry. (I know it’s not his fault) He studies medicine and I study art and it’s a big difference. He needs to study a lot and his reasons not to be there for me all the time are logical. When I told him I’m done, he said he’ll wait. I don’t want to break his heart but maybe we’re not meant to be. Maybe as my mom says Love is not enough..

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 30, 2017 at 3:16 pm

      Hi Lucy,

      get professional help and then explain to him why you need the breakup

  14. Avatar

    Sam

    January 19, 2017 at 6:34 am

    I have a kind of complicated situation. My ex and I were together for 8 months. About 2 months ago he started having concerns that he wasn’t ready for a relationship because he was not mature enough for one. He was constantly afraid of talking about things, wanted to make friends and new experiences a priority but still said he cared. We talked some things through and kept trying but things got too hard for him so he broke up with me. A few days later he decided that he had made a mistake and wanted me back so we got back together deciding to take things slow.

    After taking things slow for a month, I couldn’t take it. He was apathetic, felt like he had to call me or I would get mad,band would only text here and there. I broke up with him.

    A few days after we broke up he left the country for a study abroad trip. We talked before he left and he cried, said he had been crying and that it would be hard but it was the right thing to do.

    Ever since he has been gone (1 week) he seems like he is having a blast, posting on social media, liking pictures of girls he thought were attractive before we were together and not visiting my social media (SNapchat stories, didn’t like Instagram post).

    Today however he texted me saying he hoped my semester was going well and good luck. I didn’t respond. I don’t want him to think I will be here to talk whenever he wants.

    What do I do though? How do I make him miss me when he is abroad for 6 months and having a blast? Is he thinking of me even though his social media habits look like he’s having a great time being free

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 20, 2017 at 3:54 pm

      Hi Sam,

      He probably thinks of you, that’s why he texted you.. but do you want to try the no contact rule?

  15. Avatar

    Misty

    January 6, 2017 at 6:11 am

    I was with my man for e years and my husband got out of prison and proles out to my grandma .. and i did not tell my boyfriend so we got in big fight and no it has been 14 days and he will not talk to me but I love this man with all my heart . I have been so lost with out him what f o I do

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 7, 2017 at 7:55 pm

      Hi Misty,

      are you going to do the advice above?

  16. Avatar

    Sarah

    December 27, 2016 at 7:48 pm

    My boyfriend and I broke up after a few rough months which ended in him creating a single profile on a dating website. He keeps saying he misses me and wants to work it out but then he goes MIA. Saying he was busy with work, fell asleep, got busy cleaning, etc. He always has an excuse as to why he can’t or didn’t call and text or why he didn’t come over or can’t go out. Not sure what to make of his behavior. He talks a good line but isn’t following through with his actions .

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 29, 2016 at 3:56 pm

      Hi Sarah,

      how long has it been like that and are you going to do the no contact rule?

  17. Avatar

    Dee John

    December 27, 2016 at 12:45 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 yes and 10 mos. today. For the past year and 4 mos, it’s been an ltr. I haven’t been a priority for him, he is always busy, he rarely calls, we don’t video chat anymore, everytime I call, I get his vmail, when we do speak, the conversations have no substance, and he never wants to talk about the future and clising the distance. I think the nail in the coffin was that we didn’t speak on Christmas Day. I called him 12 times just wanting to hear him, but the excuse was thst his phone ringer was off. Today all the loneliness and feelings of neglect swelled after him not having heard from him. After pouring my heart out and telling him how I felt, he listened in silence and then the call dropped. He hasn’t called back and didn’t answer when I called again so I finished the conversation via text to of course, no reply. I am making my peace that I am not nor will probably ever be a priority, but my heart mourns because it wasn’t like this before he relocated. I mean he had communication issues, but in a long distance relationship, communication is vital, i never thought it would get this bad. He seems to think that we would grow while not being nurtured. I’m just praying that I made the right decision.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 29, 2016 at 9:03 am

      Hi Dee John,

      you did.. It’s pointless to keep trying to talk to somebody who doesnt want to talk

  18. Avatar

    JC

    December 21, 2016 at 10:26 pm

    My ex broke of with me after several years due to her depression and needing to be alone. She said she still loves me and doesn’t want to break up, but she feels like she needs to because nothing is right and she can’t tell if it’s us or her depression.

    I know there is a difference between wanting to be alone, and wanting to see other people. I know it’s possible she may never come back and at the end of the day she wants space, but I’m unsure how to give her space. Should I NC for a few weeks, wait until she contacts me, or treat it like she’s not coming back?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 26, 2016 at 12:32 pm

      Hi Jc,
      it would be better to treat it like she’s not coming back.. that you’re doung nc to heal and improve and that after it you’re just going to build rapport by starting out friends first

  19. Avatar

    Alice

    December 16, 2016 at 10:48 pm

    Hi, I was with my boyfriend for awhile a year ago now and I broke up with him for a lot of reasons;
    I was busy with my college work and he would get mad when Id stay at home to do work instead of seeing him
    He had an ex pregnant with his baby and about to give birth which of course made us all stressed and nervous and I wasnt ready to be involved with his child
    My dad absolutely hated the idea of me having a boyfriend as I had a bad break up nine months before and this made him not want to come to my house amd made me and my dad argue a lot about him
    I had only been cheated on nine months before so I was very untrusting with him and thought he would hurt me so I thought I should break up with him before he could break my heart

    We recently were both out and met up and it sparked eveything between us again but Im scared that all of these reasons are still making it too difficult and might still put a strain on us.
    Of course as I broke his heart he still isnt sure if he should trust me again or not so we are both very unsure. Please give me some advice,

    Thanks, Alice.

    1. Avatar

      Katelyn

      December 27, 2016 at 2:23 pm

      Alice,
      I had suffered through a similar problem with my ex. If you broke up with him through stress and other causes, it’s pretty likely he knows that you didn’t break up with him because you didn’t like him anymore. If you really show him how much you care, I bet it will work out.
      Sincerely, Katelyn

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 19, 2016 at 11:37 pm

      Hi Alice,

      Wait, you were with him a year ago? That means he was the one that cheated on you?

  20. Avatar

    Joanna

    December 12, 2016 at 6:10 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend of over 2 years exactly two months ago because, while he was loyal, dedicated, loving and treated me like the love of his life, (he had even met my mother and treated her well), he one night burst out “THAT’S WHY I DONT WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU” while we were watching a show we like to watch together and eating dinner. We were fussing over whose place we wanted to stay at that night, mine or his, and when I brought up how if we lived together in the future, these small issues won’t matter as much, he FREAKED. The next weekend he told me that he loves me but doesn’t want to ever live with me, or anybody, and that he isn’t sure he’ll ever get married, and that he isn’t even sure he wants to be strictly monogamous. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he seemed to want to have all this power, and said all these hurtful things about how we weren’t “serious” and that I should be focused on my career and not worry about living with him when I am applying to be a professor at universities all over the country. Suddenly, I was heartbroken, but I just couldn’t believe him… I felt like there was something else he wasn’t saying. I told him if he really believed those things, that our core values didn’t align and we should break up. He didn’t want me to break up with him, and said we should think about it and make a decision after I get back, but that he didn’t want to date anybody else and nobody else would be like me (mixed messages!)
    I left for a business trip and when I came back we went to dinner and had a good time, but then he brought up everything again, and it seemed like he wanted the relationship on his terms. He took me home and in the car he wanted to discuss everything. I was tired and cranky, but he went over it all again.
    “I never wanna live with anybody. Even if you stay in our city and don’t move away next Fall, I want things to stay the way they are… We are both academics and we have to be realistic about our futures” etc, etc, etc.
    I stopped him, told him I loved him, but that it was time for us to move on. He tried to call my bluff and said “WAIT!” but I just repeated myself and walked away.
    18 days into no contact he texted me to see how I was doing and to ask if he could come over with some earrings. I didn’t ignore him, instead I replied that I wasn’t ready to see him yet and I needed some more space (it was true). He responded that he understood.
    When I got back to him two weeks later he was neutral and a little cold. I was leaving to Istanbul for a week and wanted to catch up, maybe try to get back together with him, but he didn’t want to see me but wished me well on my trip and said while he respected me and thought I was an exceptional woman, he would always be there to support me as a friend. My friend told me he got on Tinder just 12 days after we broke up…
    Then my uncle died right after I got back from Turkey. He sent me a condolence message but did not call. I simply thanked him. Last week he posted sad song lyrics on Facebook from a song called” live with me” with a photo of himself cuddling a piece of bread (i kid you not).
    Three days ago I did text him Happy Birthday sweetly and discovered he was on a birthday date! With another woman! He had thanked me for my message and asked me how I was doing, we exchanged some texts and he then accidentally messaged me his dinner plans instead of the woman he was going on a date with. I called him out on it and he apologized, but instead of admitting to him that I was devastated, I first deleted him from Facebook (which I now regret), and then I sent a text pretending to be cool and telling him he deserved to have fun on his birthday and do or date whatever he wanted. He texted me back that he had saw on my instagram I had applied for graduation for PhD in a few months, and wished me luck with it.
    I haven’t written back. I keep wanting to open up more and get back into building rapport, but I haven’t been able to do NC for more than 3 weeks… should I ignore his text and try to go another 29 days, or should I try to build rapport? I’m so confused by him. And now he must think I’m really off my rocker for unfriending him, but the reason why I did it is because I was obsessively checking his page to see who this woman he was on his birthday dinner with could possibly have been!
    I was torturing myself and needed to stop.
    I know I was right not to accept his relationship terms, but the truth is, I wasn’t ready to live with him now and was fine continuing the relationship if he would have just said he’s scared or unsure of the future… but when a man says “NEVER” what other choice did he leave me but to walk away? I love him and keep thinking he will call and say he was wrong, that he wants to be with me…
    what should I do now? I’m so sad. I was generally happy with him and now I feel like a piece of me is missing. I don’t understand why he said all those things and I can’t believe he is already with other women from Tinder. I miss him and love him, but I’ve just pretended like it’s all cool… Should I be honest with him or just wait and let him come to me? I really believed he’d have fought for me by now… but its 2 months and nothing but these friendly texts. I’m so hurt. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

    1. Avatar

      Joanna

      December 21, 2016 at 10:01 pm

      It was so sad. He said he wasn’t expecting that I would want to get back together and then he invalidated my feelings and kind of talked down at me. He told me he moved on and said “If it helps to hear I’m not in love with you anymore.” He said he wants to explore other options. It was just a reaffirmation of why I broke up with him in the first place. I told him he was a good boyfriend and he said that he learned a lot from me and was grateful for those 2 years… but I think it was good for me to meet with him even though it hurt me, because now I can move on and realize that I was right to break up. Thanks.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 26, 2016 at 11:08 am

      I agree.. it would be easier for you to move on because you know you did what you can

    3. Avatar

      Joanna

      December 17, 2016 at 8:26 pm

      Success. He has offered to meet for coffee next week. But I’m not convinced that I shouldn’t ask him back or tell him I don’t want to lose him. I mean.. Im’ the one who broke up with him. Now that I’ve had time to reflect and am okay with us taking it day by day and not attached to the future outcome, shouldn’t I let him know that and tell him I love him and I’m sorry for impulsively breaking it off? What do I have to lose?

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 21, 2016 at 5:48 am

      ok, that’s a good mindset! Go ahead and ask him.. Good luck! 🙂

    5. Avatar

      Joanna

      December 15, 2016 at 4:23 pm

      Thanks. Should I ask to get back together, or just talk as friends and see how he’s been doing? It’s hard to know how to say the right thing in the right way without pushing him away further.

    6. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 16, 2016 at 4:15 pm

      If he agreed to talk, that means he’s either willing to work it out or he just wants you to have closure.. So, talk about how he is first, thank him for coming, what he’s been upto, be interested,interact..share what you’ve been doing.. More likely he’s going to say he wants you back if he wants you back.. If not, act as if that talk is just for closure and you’re moving on and then restart nc..

    7. Avatar

      Joanna

      December 14, 2016 at 7:20 pm

      Damn. I got impatient and asked him to meet up, but he isn’t responding. What if he DOES in fact respond? Should I still meet him or implement NC?

    8. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2016 at 9:53 am

      If you asked to meet up to talk, and if he agrees, talk first..because you would be confusing if you suddenly backed off when you were the one who invited talking.. And then restart nc if he it didnt work out

    9. Avatar

      Joanna

      December 12, 2016 at 6:15 am

      i have to clarify when he contacted me the first time he wanted to come over with earrings I’d left at his place and a sweater of mine I used to keep there…

    10. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 14, 2016 at 6:01 pm

      Hi Joanna,

      You know walking away is an ungettable girl move. That’s the right thing because he is trying to hand over to you what he wants, and if you didn’t have standards, you would have said yes just to keep him. It’s a battle of standards, whoever is more serious will more likely convince the one who isn’t, or the other person will leave if he/she is strong with his/her standards too. For now, start the count of straight 30 days and be active in improving yourself during and after nc. Take this as a restart. Start over being as friends first after nc, and then slowly build rapport. See, if he changed. If he still gave you the same offer, then you have to move on.

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