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170 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t”

  1. Tatiana

    August 7, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    Hey Chris, I have a real dilemma. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year (anniversary is actually August 26th), but two weeks ago, he got upset with me and thought I was seeing someone else. Now he has a huge history of trust issues, but besides that, we’re really good together. So, two weeks ago, my boyfriend was going through my photos (I’m not scared of him having my phone) and he tried to send a picture to himself. However, when he typed “B,” “Babe” came up and it was my ex’s old contact number. Unfortunately, I don’t clear out my contacts as much as I should because I only talk to a handful of people, but his contact was changed to his regular name because we had broken up weeks before. So long story short, he thinks that there is a “babe” other than him and wants the truth, but there is no other truth. He’s practically the only person I text and call on a daily basis. I am affectionate, I’m always trying to make plans, I’ve been with him through personal issues. If I show him my phone, he thinks that I just put some guy’s name under the disguise of a woman or something because he says he knows all the tricks. I’m not cheating, I swear on my life, but he won’t think rationally.

    1. Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2015 at 6:35 pm

      Sounds like you will have to do no contact to reset his thinking. He might beg for you back during no contact in which case you can take him back. He needs to trust you though, if you want to you can delete your ex from your phone etc. to make him feel better.

  2. Kendra

    July 20, 2015 at 1:51 am

    Me and my fiancé broke up last Saturday and he assumed I was cheating on him 3 times. Once when I was at the pool and seen a guy there that we knew in high school that liked me but i didn’t tell my fiancé I was going to the pool which i should have. 2nd was when my best friend came over and my fiancé left the house to do something and he assumed i slept with my best friend and i got mad and said i didn’t. 3rd time was when my “friend” made me or forced me to let him touch me but i didn’t do anything to him. Also he went out on a date with a younger girl that saturday night after we broke up that morning and basically is dating her without being “official” on Facebook. How do i get him back and well my ex fiancé is coming next week to get the rest of his stuff out of my house should i talk to him and tell him that i have evidence that i didn’t cheat on him? Should i tell him that i want to try and make things work and tell him I’m willing to change if he gives me another chance?

  3. Emma

    July 4, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    He has just blocked me from Facebook, after I didn’t reply to his ‘bye’. So the only way I would be able to contact him is email or Pinterest (which he still follows me on and has a board about me). So I really have no hope do I? In all honesty, you can hit me with the bad news, I can take it. Is this relationship he’s having a rebound? I’m annoyed by his hostility and the things he said, as we seemed perfect together. I almost wish I hadnt left it 30 days. I can manage if you think I have no hope of getting him back?

    1. Should I bother? 2. Do I even have a chance? 3. Is this relationship a rebound? 4. What would I do?

  4. Brianna

    June 28, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Hey so my situation is similar. I went to RT school and my boyfriend of 4 years was very jealous of my friendship with a guy in class. He didn’t say anything to me and it took it out on me in other ways. Finally I ended things and we were apart for 4 months. After 2 I started seeing the said classmate and my ex started seeing a girl I used to work with. In those 4 months I thought about him, but told myself the breakup was for the best. A week ago my ex came back to me, begging for me back and at this point we both were seeing other people. I was hesitant but when I finally agreed he changed his mind and decided to stay with the new girl. Now I’m crushed.. We were so happy in the first 4 years and I feel terrible that I screwed everything up. My ex keeps telling me he knows I’m still the person he’s going to marry but he needs this time with her and I don’t really understand it. Is it worth hanging on and showing him I won’t break the trust again? Or should I just move on completely?

    1. Chris Seiter

      June 29, 2015 at 6:19 pm

      Seems like he is stringing you along if he is telling you that he is going to marry you one day yet he is still with some other girl.

  5. Felicity

    June 23, 2015 at 8:26 pm

    So I bought your book in April and followed all of the steps and within a month and a half my ex came back and said he wanted to give me a chance again after being apart for almost 8 months. He broke up with me in the end of October and the reason we broke up was because I almost cheated and got too close to another guy, however people told him I did cheat and he to this day still believes I did cheat which is devistating to me because it’s a misunderstanding that ruined my amazing relationship. His fraternity friends don’t like me and when they found out we were talking again they confronted him and said they didn’t support it and scared him of the idea of us again so he decided two weeks later that it was never going to work out but however we still had a sorority dance that he said he would come to as my date so he still did but it was weird he was friendly with me and introducing me to people as his good friend and when we would flirt and get close to kissing he would freak out and walk away for some excuse like oh I have to go to the bathroom. Anyways after that he said he had an amazing time with me and had lots of fun with me and would try and say bye before he left school to go to Europe for two months to study abroad however when I messaged him the next 3 days he ignored me and left for Europe without ever saying bye or anything and it has been two weeks now since we talked. When his friends didn’t know we were seeing each other we were happy and being intimate again and staying at his place and talking about easing people into us getting back together and go to Portland on a trip when he gets back but then once his fraternity friends found out his attitude completely changed instantly and he was distant and pushing me away and said he had a hard time telling people he was talking to me cause of the cheating and was being extremely rude to me. I know I made a mistake but him and I were engaged and so close I really thought we could work through it. People tell me he is probably confused and doesn’t know what to do and is torn especially since his friends aren’t supportive which is why he ignored me without leaving cause it was easier on him and my best bet is to give him space and not contact him and let him miss me and show him I’m not needy especially since I said everything I could have to him. Am I completely doomed on ever getting him back? Regardless I have to see him at school next year starting end of September again and he still has some of my things that he never gave back when we were seeing each other again for those two weeks and usually he would have dropped that off when he called it quits. I don’t know what else to do cause the book I bought from you didn’t cover this or get my ex back and I’m wondering as an expert what you think! Please I’m begging you to help me. He is the love of my life and best friend and am miserable without him. I beat myself up everyday that I took him for granted and messed up and just want him back. Please I know your so incredibly busy but please help me I’m desperate!

    1. Felicity

      July 6, 2015 at 5:41 pm

      I just can’t tell what he wants or what to do. He is so back and forth that I can’t tell if he just needs more space to figure things out. Especially since he is in Europe right now he isn’t really thinking yet about what he wants cause he is distracting himself at the bars and with partying. Everyone says to give him the summer since I will see him in October and he ends his Europe trip August 1st and then will have two whole months alone to think about what he wants while I then will be in Europe and that might make him jealous since the roles are reversed now. Any comments or thoughts? Anything will help I have read the book and basically all of your articles too. Thanks!

    2. Chris Seiter

      June 29, 2015 at 6:31 pm

      Lets start with the advice you have already implemented?

      What have you done from this article so far?

  6. sara

    June 19, 2015 at 1:48 am

    Hi Chris,

    My boyfriend and I were to get married this year. But he saw some texts on my phone that he counted as flirting and he thought my platonic I love you as something serious.

    I stumbled upon this site five days late. So I have begged, pleaded, apologised and done everything to convince him, including sending screen shots. But he is still so angry and said he will never get back with me and has blocked me off of all communication except texting.

    Despite me texting him, he never replies. Except when he can’t take the anger anymore he calls and yells And repeats I won’t get back with you. But he has not told any of our friends that we are not together. He only says there’s a problem. And pretends like everything is okay. But he acts different with me and tells m. Our entire relationship was me playing him.

    Please help me. I need him back in my life. I have no-one else To call family.

    1. Shiran

      December 6, 2015 at 5:23 pm

      Even my situation is same Sara

  7. mandy

    June 13, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    thank you for this article, this is the situation I’m in & finally something about it!!
    my bf of 10 years left because he thought I cheated, I tried to repair things and he refused.
    I’ve given him space/time & now am trying to show him what he means to me so we can build a new relationship… it is so hard to overcome someone else’s fears.
    if you have any advice on how to overcome his resistance to reconnect (guessing its from a fear of getting hurt) it would be appreciated.

    1. Chris Seiter

      June 16, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      Hi Mandy,

      Yup, I wrote it for people just like you.

      To be honest I save my best advice for the overcoming resistance part of this article. So I would start there.

  8. Confused

    June 11, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My ex and I were together for a total of 8 months, it was kind of a rocky relationship but our connection is like no other. The reason we broke up is basically the same reason as you stated above, he saw some text messages from one of my best guy friends and assumed the worst. He had always been a little insecure about that. I love this man, and I just can’t find it within myself to let him go. I’ve never connected with anyone on the same level as I connect with him. When we broke up I followed your site religiously, I did the NC, I deleted the guys number, and I constantly try to prove that I was never unfaithful. My ex and I have progressed to being friends, I mean really good friends. He calls me every morning and we fall asleep on the phone together every night. We hang out sometimes, and he always tells me he cares about me deeply as a friend. We both promised to be very honest with one another if either of us starts to talk to or see someone else, he’s told me about his ex contacting him and he’s also said he isn’t trying to look to move on. He’s my go to person, as I am his, but doing this makes it so much harder to detach myself from him. I want to be with him and it just confuses the hell out of me as to why he won’t be with me. I just don’t know what more I can do to convince him that we are meant for each other, and I don’t want to say or do anything that will jeopardize the amazing friendship we have now. I want to be there for him, and I love how he is there for me. I’m just so scared that he’s going to find something else out there and completely leave me in the dust. He gives me mixed signals all the time, and its so emotionally draining I no longer have any idea what to do. I care about him deeply, and every part of me tells me he does too, I just have no idea how to make him see that.


    1. Confused

      June 17, 2015 at 5:37 am

      everything .. he’s even said he forgives me … i just want him back 🙁

    2. Chris Seiter

      June 16, 2015 at 4:39 pm

      Remember, he thinks you cheated on him and that’s not the easiest thing to overcome.

      Have you tried everything in this article?

  9. Emma

    June 11, 2015 at 9:47 am

    Hi Chris,

    Thanks for a great website, the advice has helped me a lot! I have sent a voice message, but I’m going out of my mind right now as to whether I shouldn’t bother trying to get my ex back. Mine is a difficult situation.

    We met online, I’m 21 and he’s 17 but he’s very mature for his age. I’m from the UK and he’s from Pennsylvania and I was due to visit him and stay with his family in July (our first time meeting in person). We would text, speak on the phone and Skype every day. He told me he’d always fight for me and he would always love me.

    His mum supported us, and I spoke to her on Skype, but when my ex asked his dad about me staying his dad was very negative. Saying ‘we wouldn’t work’, ‘don’t come crying to me when it doesn’t work’, and that because my ex is 17 ‘he doesn’t know what he wants’. But that night my ex said to me, no matter what his dad said he loved me and he would fight for us.

    2 days later I started a stupid argument because he wasn’t talking to me, and I said whoever he is talking to must be more interesting. He took this as me insinuating he was cheating on me. He ended us, as he’d already had a bad day. Eventually, after him deleting me on everything, we spoke on the phone and he said he did it because of what his dad said. He said he didn’t know what he wanted, and that he felt we might end in a few months anyway and he didn’t want the pain. He also said he isn’t good enough for me, because he might not get into college because he’s failing two classes. And then he said he was scared that when I meet him in person I wouldn’t like him. After a long discussion he said we were still together.

    The next day he told me he was sure of his decision, for us to stay together, and that night he then said he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I turned into a text gnat, begging etc, and he called me and we spoke about it on the phone and he told me to decide whether we break up or not. I decided we stay together and he said he was happy with that! We ended the call on an ‘I love you’, but then the next day he said he couldn’t do it anymore and he didnt love me. The ‘argument’ changed his feelings, and he said I dont trust him because i ‘insinuated’ he was cheating. I said, why would I go to America if I don’t trust you? And he wouldn’t answer. It was like this for the next 3 days, him saying he didnt want us to split up but he didnt love me anymore and would never love me the same. On Friday I said he was doing this because of his dad and he blocked me. I sent him a lengthy email expressing my annoyance that he was doing this because of his dad etc, and he unblocked me and asked me if I want the ring he bought me for my graduation and also promise/eternity ring. I said no and asked if he hated me. He said he ‘didnt hate me, just doesn’t love me anymore’. I reminded him of when he said he would always fight for me, and he said I was once worth fighting.

    I have since started no contact and I am on 6.5 days into it. It is very hard. We were also friends on Xbox, although now using different consoles and I noticed this morning he has deleted me, even though I haven’t tried to speak to him. I dont know whether he deleted me because 1) it brought back good memories, 2) to spite me and make me message him asking why, or 3) because he really wants nothing to do with me.

    I do want him back but I don’t know whether I’m operating on false hope. I am working on myself to be the ungettable girl, but he won’t see that after 30 days as we’re not friends on Facebook anymore either. I added him and my friend request is still pending. I am still doing No Contact and won’t message him, it’s still early days at 6 days no contact. This was our second big argument, all other times we got on so well, laughing and joking, and we had a connection unlike any other. We were inseparable. I feel like he has made this decision because of his dad but I’m unsure as there are many reasons he’s given me; what his dad said, him not being good enough, him being scared I won’t like him in person, me suggesting he was cheating on me.

    Do you think him saying he doesn’t love me anymore, and will never love me the same, were said because emotions were high from the argument? (He said it 3-6 days after the argument when I wouldn’t stop texting). Or do you think he meant them? I don’t know how someone’s feelings can change so suddenly. What is your opinion on him ending us?

    I’m sorry for the long message, but thank you for a great website. It is very interesting and helpful. I would be so grateful if you replied.

    1. Emma

      July 4, 2015 at 7:23 pm

      So today I finished no contact. I sent him ‘I have a confession to make…’, he replied ‘I dont care’, so I said ‘it isn’t bad’, he asked what it was and I waited one hour before replying. He sent a second text during that hour saying ‘great talk’, and I mentioned a positive memory and he said ‘I’ve moved on stop texting me’, turns out he now has a girlfriend, he said she’s a neighbour who he got in contact with when we stopped talking. He said he loves her and never loved me, called me lots of names and told me to stop messaging him. I know he said he never loved me and never cared about me to hurt me, he bought me a ring, (granted I didn’t get it but he bought one!). I am hurt that he can have moved on in 30 days and already in love! To top it off he blocked me on facebook so I have no way of communicating with him (other than email or Pinterest).

      I read your rebound article and thought maybe this is a rebound, but he said he loves her. Do you think it’s a rebound? Do you think I have a slither of a chance of shall I give up? I’m upset he’s moved on but I’m at a place where I should be able to too, my mum says I should. Please give me your opinion, 1. Is it a rebound? 2. Do I have a chance? 3. Should I move on?

      Congratulations on your baby and also on the ever growing popularity of your website, and soon to be, coaching!

    2. Chris Seiter

      July 8, 2015 at 11:52 pm

      Thanks for the kind words.

      Hmm.. the I have a confession text might not have been the best way to approach it unfortunately.

      I would hesitate to say your chances are completely ruined. They took a small hit but to me he still seems to be upset about the breakup.

    3. Chris Seiter

      June 16, 2015 at 4:45 pm

      Well, at 17 you really can’t take what he says too seriously.

      A 17 year old mans feelings can change on a dime.

      Trust me on this I was once a 17 year old man.

  10. Jasmine

    June 10, 2015 at 3:00 am

    Hard to understand mens insecurity but your this posting is helpful! It’s a good post for understanding of insecurity of men and my ex. I reminded that my ex was sometimes looked very insecure and sometimes not. So your strategy is mainly about actions not no contact or influence him subconsicouly. I want to know more about the pretty noticable sign if he wants me to show the actions to assure him or he wants me to wait and give him time or space. I haven’t cheated on him though he sometimes asked me if I have another guy when he found something difference on my looks or something. He broke up with me 3month ago and I bought your ebook and made a strategy on my own though it’s so tricky to approach to him. Because we met last week for his favor to me (to get something from me) he looked still loves me. He wanted to talk with me more he touched me and hugged me very tightly two times … But he hasn’t done any action til now. Should I make a move first? Or wait for his action?

    1. Chris Seiter

      June 16, 2015 at 4:48 pm

      How long have you been doing NC for?

      I think the most notable sign for if he wants to show you with actions is the mere fact that he will continue to bug you and talk to you. He will also make up excuses to see you like what he did to you.

  11. Kay

    June 8, 2015 at 11:29 pm

    Hey is there any way to email you my problem. I’d like to show you things that were said so that you can get a better idea as to what happened? I’d REALLY appreciate your help.

    Thank you 🙂

    1. Chris Seiter

      June 16, 2015 at 4:50 pm

      Hi Kay,

      Unfortunately I no longer do email.

      I do answer comments from time to time and I will be releasing coaching/consulting soon where I can answer much more in depth.

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