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170 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t”

  1. Ghazal

    September 21, 2016 at 5:10 pm

    My ex is sure that I cheated on him throughout the course of our 3 years old relationship but of course I didn’t because I’m madly in love with him and I let him accuse me for something I don’t deserve and be treated badly for. And his facts are the guy is online when you’re online or his posts on fb seem related to yours when in reality I changed my number completely and blocked him off all social media. Basically he thought whenever he’s not with me I’m constantly cheating no matter what like im a cheating machine while Iwould avoid even going out with my girl friends without him just cause I was so scared he will think something wrong. In the end I think it’s my fault that I let him treat me this way for way too long and there’s no chance for us unless there comes a day that he realizes his mistake because I don’t need forgiveness for something I haven’t done.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 23, 2016 at 9:32 am

      HI Ghazal,

      cut all ties with the other guy.. and then try what’s advised above.. Get back to having your life again. Don’t let his insecurity control yours.

  2. Jhuma

    September 20, 2016 at 12:58 am

    We were in an open relationship,then we decided to go with the flow n we both got attached.everything was fine,I really thought we were gonna pursue the relationship.he told me I am too friendly with other guys,he can’t trust me. One of his friends was hitting on me,I was flirted back.
    I didn’t know where we stand
    To tick him off ,so he reacts n tells me that he wants a serious relationship.and I have been single for a very long time,was flirting n had casual relationships,that might have affected my personality. I couldn’t take ccontrol of all these factors,n ended up screwing my relationship with him. But I really did believe in this relationship,but I feel I kind of screwed it up.

    I pleaded for a week,he blocked me. Then I realized its of no use,I stopped calling or texting.after about a week he started texting me.
    We met once after that.
    I noticed he texts me when he is drunk n alone.so I asked him what is in his mind. He said we should just be in talking terms n hanging out is not a great idea,as he doesn’t wanna trigger anything.
    I don’t know know what to do now.i really wanna get back him..its been a month since he broke up,I miss him terribly.
    I am thinking of texting him explaining,how I feel for him,n I never cheated on him.i was just stupid,didn’t want to come across as a needy person that’s why never expressed my true feelings;I was scared of being hurt,due to my past serious relationship that’s why I was acting all cool.
    Then give him space n let him decide what he wants. Until then may be nc.
    What do you think?

    1. Jhuma

      September 20, 2016 at 11:18 pm

      But what should I do after the message n no contact ,I really wanna get back with him.how long should the nc be?after the message should I pretend to be happy n look like I am moving on or should I try more?he is a very nice person ,I didn’t realize things on time 🙁

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 22, 2016 at 7:15 pm

      I think you should do 45 days.. Don’t pretend to be happy. Find what makes you happy apart from him. Heal and improve yourself.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 20, 2016 at 10:32 am

      ok.. do that.. I think that’s the only move that can give you peace

  3. B

    September 17, 2016 at 11:30 pm

    So this is a little complicated but basically I was drunk and accidentally sent texts that was meant for my gay guy friend to my Long distance boyfriend saying that I was going over to his place and called him “babe”. My boyfriend didn’t ask about those texts the next day so I assumed that he knew it was platonic. But when we were arguing about something afterwards, he just suddenly stopped responding to my texts. I think he finally read the text and got mad about it, but I cannot be certain. My boyfriend has been reading and ignoring all of my texts. He phone is broken and can’t receive calls right now. I apologized for the fight and told him how much he means to me and that I miss him. Its been a week and still no response. He still checks my snapchat stories so I know that he still cares, but I don’t know how to reach out to him. I don’t know if I should address the texts because that might just add to his suspicion.

    1. B

      October 6, 2016 at 5:33 pm

      I gave him a week, he never responded. I think my explanation just sounded like an excuse especially since it came 1.5 weeks late… I don’t know what else i can do since we are doing long distance. He’s been self-destructive lately and got sent to the ER for alcohol poisoning. I texted him to make sure he’s fine, but of course he didn’t respond. Right now I’m just processing this a break up. Is there anything I can do that will make him miss me, trust me again, and want to reach out?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 9, 2016 at 2:02 pm

      there’s nothing much but just really living your own life.. because when you keep getting better and being happy, he might realize he’s the only one hurting and being negative while you just kept living life because there’s nothing to be guilty about

    3. B

      September 20, 2016 at 8:56 pm

      Hi Amor,

      Thank you for responding! I sent a text to explain it to him. Should I wait for him to respond after a few days or should I reach out to him?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 22, 2016 at 6:20 pm

      Give him a few days to think and a chance to initiate but if he doesn’t do that after a set amount days and then you can initiate.. maybe 5 days to a week.

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 20, 2016 at 7:12 am

      Hi B,

      just give it space.. if he knows the guy is gay, then no thing to worry about.. if he doesnt, just explain and then go silent for a few days so he can think about it

  4. ANNA

    September 7, 2016 at 10:57 pm

    my story is quite long, but I would try to shorten it a little.. 3months ago my ex boyfriend broke up with me, without any valid reasons. 2weeks after he buzzed me nd said he was in a new relationship. after that I made up my mind to do the no contact rule.. exactly 2 months after he started buzzing me nd checking in on me, which I ignored. just last week he sent a video to me on Facebook saying he would be there for me no matter what. yesterday a friend of ours got talking to him via fb chat and he explained to her that he broke up with me because I cheated on him.. he said I had sex with another guy. when my friend told me this I was very disturbed, because I didn’t cheat on him nd nobody would believe me. I decided to screenshot the convo Between me nd the supposed guy that I was accused of cheating with nd send it to my ex on fb.
    my problem here is how to win him back, despite the fact that I know he has a new girl, I still love him.. it’s been 3months nd I have tried so hard to move on and it’s not working. how do I get him to believe in me once more nd date me..

    1. ANNA

      September 9, 2016 at 12:58 pm

      after I sent the screenshots of the other guy confessing that we never had sex to my ex, he said he knew I didn’t get down with him.he was sorry about his actions. now he is asking me to be his best friend. what do I do? I can’t be best friends with him because I still have deep feelings for him despite all he has done to me.. really confused

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 10, 2016 at 11:42 am

      At least the main problem is solved… You have a small challenge now and I think you can handle this. I want to answer you but it’s better if you just read the whole guide for an ex who is friendzoning you.
      EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 9, 2016 at 9:37 am

      Hi Anna,

      what did he say when you sent that message?

  5. Tiphy

    September 7, 2016 at 3:28 am

    Hello I wrote in another page “The Warning Signs…” and I am about to finish a 45 day no contact with a colleague. The problem was that today I was talking to a female colleague about guys and agreeing when she said who was handsome or who wasnt plus some girl talk u know. The problem is that my ex bf was listening to the talk and he got so mad at me. He said that he didnt trust me anymore and that we could only be friends with no opportunity to come back. He thinks I was w another guy all this time we were apart or that i will cheat on him w some colleague in the future. 🙁 I dont want him to think im a wh*re. I screwed it up. Feel like giving up. I was thnking of writing a note explaining that i never cheated on him and the kind of girl I am… is that ok?

    1. Tiphy

      October 14, 2016 at 3:50 am

      Hi! We actually got back together four weeks ago. The first week he was very cold. The second week he started texting me more often. This week, he is acting or pretending to be jealous. He asks where i am or who i am with… He used to be jealous before and i liked it because it seemed he cared, but now i think he is just overreacting to things. I told him there is no reason for him not to trust me, but still he continues with the doubts. Thanks to the team for helping me. I will read more articles. Thanks again

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 14, 2016 at 4:14 pm

      That’s fantastic! Thank you too Tiphy!

    3. Tiphy

      September 14, 2016 at 2:01 am

      What I think is that he wants to remain friends but having the same relationship we had as a couple because he stills texts me asking for some food or help with work… i will keep him on the friendzone … and i actually want to show that im willing to walk away …

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 15, 2016 at 5:52 pm

      that’s good.. dont give him something or do something only couples do

    5. Tiphy

      September 13, 2016 at 7:43 pm

      I have been friendzoning him, he felt it. But he calls me whenever he needs something related to work and when he has problems with something as we used to do. And I have to help him. It seems that when he feels that i am acting wih indifference. He starts to look for excuses to talk to me. However, he has made clear that he doesnt want to come back with me.

    6. Tiphy

      September 9, 2016 at 3:17 am

      I sent the message u told me and he said he doesn’t want to talk about the topic anymore and that he has decided to be JUST friends. He also said that being friends does not mean that I can tell him about a guy I’m dating or that kind of things, any other thing is OK.
      I answered “ok bye and dont forget about the meeting tomorrow”
      he replied with a “Thank you” and that was it!
      I will extend NC for other two weeks or how long?
      Thanks for reading!

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 10, 2016 at 9:33 am

      nope, don’t extend nc… Reverse friendzone him.. Read it in this article: EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 8, 2016 at 7:47 am

      Don’t say sorry. I think a note is too intimate. A casual text is better, like just saying, “For the record I never cheated.” And then that’s it. Extend nc and just avoid any jealousy post and let him cool off.

  6. rachel

    August 30, 2016 at 3:17 am


    I have read and I have done everything, remove all pics of any of my guy friends. I have tried explaining, nothing has worked and it has been 2 months. It almost seems like he has believed that I have in fact cheated and made up his mind that I have cheated. He refused to see me or meet me for 2 months. At 1st it was crazy, I lost my mind and was desperate that I begged him, stalked him, went to his office, got his whereabouts from his friends etc.
    We had initially planned on a vacation which was supposed to me last week. he went without me as he didnt wana bring me. 3rd night into his vacation, he called me several times, texted me scolding me and yelling how much he hates me and how i cheated on him.
    I have started NC for 6 days now and He has been angry msging me everyday for 6 days irregardless of whether he gets a reply. Its been 2months now and he doesnt seem to be calming down or want to get back together.

    What should I do now ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2016 at 12:22 pm

      Hi Rachel,

      ignore him.. you won’t get anything good if you talk to an angry person.

  7. Krys

    July 23, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    I have been dealing with trying to get my ex boyfriend back for about 9 months. I have done everything possible wrong here. I have begged pleaded got clingy had sex with him. To the point now where I am pregnant. This is my fourth child my second child with him. My other two kids he has raised with me. They even call him dad. See it all started when my mom passed away in 2014 we were very close. My ex was even close to her. It hit us both hard but I became deeply depressed. I think the depression pushed him away. However, He asked me to marry him. I said yes we planned the whole wedding. The wedding was completely paid for. my life was finally starting to come together. we took the kids to Disney world. We started to look for houses to buy with his income. I was a stay at home mom. Well one day he leaves. We were very sexual normally we had sex before he left to go out of town to chicago but come right back the same night. Well he says I’ll be back tonight and didn’t want to have sex he said he did not have enough time. He then did not come home until 5 am and it doesn’t take a genus to figure out he was cheating. He later admitted to be with a girl. So I put a GPS on his phone and two days later followed him out to a strip club. I walk in and he is flirting with a stripper. Well I decked her and then left he did not come back until bar time. When he got home I flipped out. He left and moved in with a buddy I watched him go to Chicago and back a lot on the GPS. Finally I caught him at the mall with a different stripper. He announced in front of our son and my son. I walked away i actually ended up getting a clap from the people in the food court and told to stay strong kind of embarrising but up uplifting. It was like a movie. He said that he is with her and I need to move on. I did a lot of crying and begging making him jealous with his friend. He actually tried to fight his friend and wont talk to him to this day. months go buy and my birthday rolls around. I had been doing the no contact for two weeks. He then shows up unexpectedly at my house at this point my phone had been shut off because I was a stay at home mom he left and moved out bought the house he wanted and moved some guy friends in with him. So my baby sitter couldnt tell me he was there. he sat out side waiting for me to get home. Well any who he shows Up tells me I’m a good girl and he loves me. We then try to work on things for a couple months. I did everything I rubbed his feet we went on a romantic get away a mini family vacation to the wisconsin dells that I came up with the money to take him to both. I kissed his butt. I did everything he asked. He was coming to cheer competion for my daughter. Well then one day out of the blew i looked at his phone and the stripper he cheated with was texting him. He started to get very mean to me calling me fat. All kinds of stuff. Eventually I take my son on a field trip and I expected my ex to be at my house when I got there. He wasnt instead I got a phone call saying he was done he found someone else. So I start dating but still sleeping with my ex. I didn’t want to tell him no I felt like it would make him crave sex from another woman. So anyways it has now been a few months and he is seeing this new stripper. He is taking her on dates has been for a couple months. I was still sleeping with him. I ended up pregnant he denies the baby. Says he wants nothing to do with it. I said you can have A DNA test and I’ll prove it is your baby and then will you he said he won’t do a DNA test. Its the complete opposite of how he was with our first son together he was a awesome dad and bf. Well I started to do the no contact a few weeks ago when he showed up at my house he made it seem like he wanted to get back together but now I kind of think it may have been just sex because he has now sold his house and I think I’m not postieve but is moving in with her. Him and her have definitely been spending a lot of time together. She has had her daughter around I tried doing the no contact but I keep failing because I get so emotional and end up crying and flipping out begging for us back. I think I may have messed up to bad. What do you think ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2016 at 3:30 pm

      hi Krys,

      one good thing when you chased too much is that the change will have a big impact…but the change has to be genuine..you have to stop chasing him and start improving yourself

  8. T.

    March 11, 2016 at 7:11 am

    Well, my (now ex) boyfriend for about 24hs thinks I cheated on him with my ex boyfriend. The thing is my ex and I work in the same building, but I really haven’t talked to him and have barely seen him at work since I started dating my current bf (5 months ago). Today, I really really really almost desperately needed some papers signed and I knew he could get them signed faster because of his position there. So I wrote to him asking if he could do me that favour, and left the conversation on my phone. That same night I went out to dinner with my bf, but I didn’t want to tell him that in a restaurant so I decided to wait until the next day to tell him. So, at one moment I went to the bathroom and he grabbed my phone and checked my conversations, of course finding that one. And he flipped, like batshit crazy. Called me a whore and a prostitute, told me he wanted to smash my face and spit at me, that I was worthless, that I deserved to die, among other things. When he left me at my place, he pushed me out of his car and threw my phone out of the window, called me a whore and left. By that moment I was histerical and in tears, because I really didn’t do ANYTHING! No flirting, no nothing, just a work related conversation. Later that night he called me crying to tell me he would never forgive me or believe me ever again, that he loved me but we were over for good because I was a liar. Well, I’m at loss here, I mean I know it wasn’t the best move to text my ex, but I can’t understand how my bf didn’t trust me AT ALL and reacted that way! It baffles me, we always had a great relationship, this reaction makes me think of when I just met my current bf, I was also talking to my ex at the same time, when it wasn’t official with none of them, but he knew that. Maybe he resents me for that? I really don’t understand.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 12:28 pm

      Hi T,

      send him a sincere explanation of what really happened and then let him be if he understands or not.. he important thing is you know you explained and you’re not lying

  9. Moderngal

    January 5, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    So I’ve been dating my guy (now ex for three days) for about 5 months. We have our spot spats every now and then but are completely inseparable and can’t keep our hands off of each other. Everything’s great. The other day he raises suspicions about me going on a date with another guy. Knowing that I hadn’t and didn’t have anything to hide I gave him my phone to go through. He comes across a text that I sent to my friend basically saying that I was meeting a guy for a date. The kicker is it was months back in my history and the “date” (which was really only a drink with a friend) happened before my ex and I were exclusive/boyfriend and girlfriend.

    He gets livid and when I try to explain that there’s no reason to get upset and he’s the only guy I’ve seen since our exclusivity, he breaks up with me. He’s been cheated on before in past relationships so insecurities have always been an issue. But I’ve done nothing but show added affection and love towards him throughout our relationship. Including not entertaining seeming conversation from anyone. I feel I gained his trust but now that he found this text from months ago I don’t know where we are. He seems super hurt. But nothing I say will change his reality (I cheated when I didn’t)

    I haven’t contacted him since he broke up with me a few days ago. But what evidence can I scrape up when there really isn’t anything to work with?

    Appreciate the helpful tip in regards to my situation. 🙂

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2016 at 1:32 pm

      Hi Moderngal,
      do you have common friends? maybe they can help in explaining to him. But Give it time for now, if it’s his insecurities talking , let’s hope he’ll come to his senses because you really didn’t do anything. truth will out eventually

  10. Janine

    December 31, 2015 at 5:07 pm

    My ex was told by some of our old coworkers that I was having an affair with one of our coworkers for 3 months into my ex and my relationship. This accusation is totally false. I had slept with this coworker once, before my ex and I were together, and I had told him about it. I was very honest with him about everything. After 30 days of NC he had contacted me wanting the truth, and after I told him he called me a liar, and that he could never forgive me. I think that he does still love me very much and is just very hurt and angry. Should I try to contact him in another 30 days and continue to defend myself? I feel like I don’t need to defend myself against false accusations from small petty people. But will he ever forgive me if he thinks I was cheating for three months? I really want to work hard at being with him again but do you think it is worth my effort, or is he too far gone?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2016 at 9:46 am

      Hi Janine,
      You can’t be forgiven for somethung you didn’t do. If he doesn’t believe you, the problem is with himself now. If that’s the only cause for your breakup, find a proof you didn’t do it

  11. Anonymous

    December 6, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    Hi Chris, I really need your advice/Help.
    I dated my boyfriend (Now ex) For 3 years and after a while we decided to move in with each other. This worked out great for about 9 Months. Everything was seriously going great, yes we had a fights and arguments here and there but who doesn’t, right? Anyway, towards the last month of our relationship, I started going through his phone, which I never had done before. I know, I know, my fault. But I just has feeling It needed to be done. Anyway, at first I didn’t really find anything, and maybe that’s when I should have stopped, but of course I didn’t. The next few times I saw his facebook messages I saw about 2 or 3 messages he hasn’t to girls. It was nothing to fight over but it still bothered me realise he had sent THEM messages, that means he put in the effort. It upset me. But what really set me off was the last message I read the last time I checked his phone, it was to his ex. I don’t know hat he said since he deleted the message he sent to her but I did read hers. And yes, she didn’t really give him hope but it hurt me. I brought it up to him right away and he just told me to brush it off, because “These feelings come and go once in a while. They’re nothing”. How can I let that go? So I moved out.
    Sorry, for rambling but two days after we broke up I found out I was pregnant… I told him and he was happy. But we’re still not together. And his family started putting stuff into his head, telling him I cheated when I never did. I don’t known what to do. Sometimes, he blocks my number sometimes he wants to hang out, we’ve hooked up twice and I’m trying really hard to do the NC rule, but it’s hard. Help Chris. 🙁

  12. Tinni

    October 8, 2015 at 9:04 am

    Hey Chris, I’m a 24 years old female from India. I’m with a guy for 5 years now. He left me this year his family is never going to accept me as we are from different castes. But we still remained so close. We shared everything. We even went to dates..cuddled sometimes. He used to hide me sometimes from some of his friends. I never overreacted. Few days before I saw that he had installed a dating app in his mobile. I was shattered. But I told nothing. Then he asked me one day to marry someone else as he doesn’t deserve my love. I was so hurt that I also joined a dating site. But accidentally the guy who picked me as a match was his friend. That guy sent all our conversations in the form of screenshots to my ex. To be mentioned I declared in the chat that I was single & the guy called me “dear” once formally. He also appreciated my pictures. We had some formal talk about career & all. I didn’t tell anything offensive rather than saying i was single which was true! My ex got furious. He accused me of cheating him. He said I was there to search hot boys..I was moving on..I was cheap & selfish..I didn’t love h in these years..He had known me wrong. But I wasn’t moving on Chris. He’s not taking my calls. He said it’s over. He doesn’t want to hear anything from me. He can’t trust me anymore. I want him back. How can I make him realize that I didn’t do it intentionally? Is there any chances as he’s leaving for Netherlands next month? Pleas help me Chris plz..

    1. Tinni

      October 8, 2015 at 9:44 am

      Sorry for errors.

  13. Irene

    September 29, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    Hey my boyfriend recently found old condom rappers in my trash can that we’re his condoms he and I used. Since he hasn’t been over my house in a while because I’ve been going up to his… he doesn’t remember throwing the condoms away in my trash can so now he thinks I’ve been cheating.. the condom wrappers we’re placed in a trash can I do not use I have a separate place I put my trash in how do I prove to him I never slept around. He now does not trust me and won’t talk to me

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 1, 2015 at 6:00 pm

      Talk about paranoid…

      You have nothing to apologize for and if I was you I would take a closer look at him and his activities…. Seriously, a lot of times cheaters will project onto other people (not saying he did just saying take a closer look.)

      Tell him once that they are his and don’t bring it up anymore.

  14. Kay

    September 15, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Hey Chris!
    Me and my ex recently got back together like two months ago. We have been dating a little on and off for a year and a half. I am very determined to stop the on and off thing. I feel it causes problems in our relationship and causes trust issues and hurt, because we always seem to be fighting over things that happened when we are “off”

    Well, its always my ex breaking up with me, counselors and people that know him feel that is his way of dealing with his emotions, when it gets overwhelming or he gets hurt about something, he shut that thing out. He is like fast to leave, but even quicker to come back. I believe its his anger at the moment that causes him to break up with me, and his love for me that causes him to come back. Which me and my family and friends know that is how he is, and im planning on seeking additional counseling with him if we ever get back together to help him deal with his emotions better. Not saying every time we fight, he leaves, but sometimes he do.

    Okay, i gave him a reason to doubt me. My ex is jealous. I was always a girl that received a lot of attention from other guys, even if i did not entertain them. I think that makes him a little insecure. But my ex from 9th grade ( im now a sophomore in college) added me on a social media, and blew up my page with comments on how beautiful i was and favoriting and retweeting everything. (My ex knew about him already). My ex confronted him on social media and blocked him from my page. One day i seen he was blocked, and i didnt block him, so i unblocked him. My ex was on my page and seem i unblocked him and broke up with me because “I wanted my ex from 9th grade attention” and i really didnt.

    To mention we got back together a month later, and things have been what i call great since then. We both were very happy and we had a talk about the on and off thing ending completely because we all know how he is. Like he ready to go, but he always want to come back, because he really didnt want to leave in the first place.

    But ever since we got back together, his insecurities went up. Every guy that complimented me or showed any type of interest in me, was “my little boyfriend”. I paid it no mind because im faithful as can be. I dont care for those other guys, because my ex he is just wonderful, different, and i love him a lot. I tell him everyday that he is different, and i only want him. My family loves him also, the way he is around me. He spoils me and never let me go to bed mad, he make it known how he feel about me, and in a relationship with him, he has never been disloyal.

    One night while i was sleeping, he went through my phone and found some text messages when we were “off” for that whole month. ( he broke up with me behind that social media thing with my ex) keep in mind that when he breaks up with me, he says things like ( we are done for good, we are never getting back together, i 110% dont want this relationship anymore) so i started texting other people. so many, that i didnt save numbers and didnt know who i was talking to.

    That night he came across all of those messages, because i havent deleted it. and he woke me up accused me of cheating, and he stormed off at 4:45am. The next night he called me and said i had to make up to him. and i was okay, ill take you eat out. then a couple of days later, before the date. he broke up with me and said we should talk to other people. He told his family, my friends, my family that i cheated on him. He still follow me on social media, and he still talk about the situation with my mom and friends, and tell them he is done with me. Even on social media, he says he is done with me.

    I tried to talk to him, and tell him i didnt cheat on him we were not together, my friends also. but he insist i cheated on him and he is done with me. What do i do now?

    sorry so long

  15. F

    September 11, 2015 at 8:57 pm

    Can’t you do a guide for guys? I’ve got an EX gf who thinks I’ve cheated even though I have not!

    1. Chris Seiter

      September 12, 2015 at 1:00 am

      I did create a website for men called Ex Girlfriend Recovery

  16. Alex

    September 11, 2015 at 11:18 am

    What about males? I have an ex who Thinks I’ve cheated cause we didn’t have sex for a month or two and I have never I repeat NEVER cheated, I’ve tried to show her but she won’t even ask me, I’ve told her she could ask me anything I’ll tell her the truth but yeah she’s so insecure

  17. Monica

    September 11, 2015 at 12:48 am

    My boyfriend had to serve 20 in jail for a 3rd DWI. I was with him every court date during a time he broke up with me because I fussed at him for drinking too much. During court dates, we weren’t “together” according to him, but he would hold my hand & say I love you’s. ANYWAY, during our several month break up, I started dating & he called while I was on the date to which I said, ” I’m on a date “. Because of this, he called me a whore even though I never slept with me date…he turned out to be a player. A month after, he wanted to “try again”…so we got back together.
    He’s been extremely insecure since we’ve gotten back together because I chose to date after he broke up with me. He did , too….I took that as ok I’ll date too !
    So, we get back together, he has to go to jail & I am at every visitation day…the only person in his life who did. I know he’s insecure, so I would take a picture of myself every night, write a diary to him every evening, & talk to his Mother every day & evening so he wouldn’t think I was out partying it up. I truly felt that if he was suffering, I wouldn’t even go to eat with girl friends. I stayed at home, went to church, visited him. Ever so often he would ask if I cheated on him during that time. No. No. No I did not cheat. Didn’t even talk to my girl friends for fear they would want to take me out. I stayed in my house jail for him.
    Since then, I had to move to Alabama for a job and move in with Mom and Dad (retired Pastor)…surly he knows I REALLY won’t do anything “bad” now ( I never have done anything “bad”) While I’m here I get a frantic call from him that someone told him they saw me out at bars surrounded by men ! I WAS SHOCKED ! I didn’t and don’t while with him! When he breaks up with me and I’m single, I’ll go with friends ever so often ( during football season ).
    I’ve never ever ever cheated on him nor do I ever want to. My love and affection for him is deep and I don’t even look at other men….and certainly don’t go to bars while with him.
    What the hellokitty do I do ?

  18. Sjain

    September 8, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    Also he thinks I have cheated on him too now because of these recoccuring incidents. I told him I haven’t adn he’s like I don’t believe you.. But my conversation with my guy friend he saw were almost like we were dating.. The i miss you’s, my guy friend said hes falling more and more love with me, (i didnt say anything to taht text) but the good mornings ,good nights, it was just OVERWHELMING when i went back and re read them.

  19. Sjain

    September 8, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    Hi Chris, my situation is so complicated.. We were together 5 years, he 26, im 23. I met him at a rough time during my ex ex break up. So he caught me at a timing where I was immature and heart broken but i still really liked him. Over time I struggled though with being a good girlfriend. I lied to him abotu stupid things such as guy friends andw hat not. My actions made no sense, I did so much for him and he knew that i loved him but than I always screwed up because I was so immature. Particularly one guy best friend of mine who fell in love with me and I had a hard time letting go of him because he was so close to me. We were on and off friends 3-4 times in my relationship and i ended up lying that we werent friends and he always caught me. This time it happened last week when my boyfriend has been distant from me due ot be being busy all summer. I told him a while back i need more from him but he i guess didnt understand how serious it was. My guy best friend crept back into my life and said all the right things i wanted to hear.. except wrong guy. I lied to him YET AGAIN about it and now he said he knows im never goign to change and grow up. He said he can’t trust a word coming out of my mouth and can’t see himself marrying me or being in a relationship with me anymore. He said 4 days after we broke up that things are too fresh right now and he doesn’t wanna work it out. I told him im finally for once and for all cutting out this guy friend and anyone associated to him but he said “my guy bestfriend has won and now we can be together” THAT IS NOT TRUE THOUGH! I have no romantic feelings. He said to tell people, we broke up and we don’t know whats going to happen. If i change, he said he’ll know about it.. So what does this mean? Like he said he doesnt follow me on anything anymore, I deactivated my facebook so he doesn’t have to know where I am or what i am doing. Also so i dont have to see his stuff anymore. And that he’ll leave our fate in destinys hand. I know he is not wrong in any of this because I betrayed his trust so much. He said he knows I love him. and the feelings are there. But We broke up the moment he saw my convo with this friend on August 28-29, we officially spoke about it again on september 3 and thats when he said the whole destiny stuff. An hour later, he texted me after we ended things just to find out what i told my parents because he said his head is all over the place because last time we broke up, he didnt tell anyone anything because of the reason if we get back, he doesnt’ want his friends to judge me and this time I don’t know why he cares what I told my parents..Is it because he wants confirmation he is in the right? or because me telling them makes them know how rough our relationship was and they may never want him to be with me again? The next day he drunk called me at 3 am, I didnt pick up or called back. He cal;ed my cousin the same night and she spoke to him on September 6. He basically told her, 5 years of his life have been lost, he’s hurting and doesn’t want to speak to me right now. He doesn’t understand how someone that loves him like i do, would constantly pick another guy over him. He told her he doesn’t know what he wants right now and he feels bad for me to wait for him to figure it out. He said hes still going go out and talk to new people and if i wanna date other people I can.. Now how serious can be about this? He is well aware I am not going move on. My cousin even told him I’m going to change and use this time to be better for myself. He said he’s not ready to talk to me yet about whether we are moving on for good or not but he will when he is ready. hes been so patient for me all these years, constantly forgiving me but I never brought his trust back. I always betrayed him. I had no feelings for this guy friend but he was the one person below my bf that tried to care for me. I was naive and stupid. He was so genuine and he was part of my family. He was the most realest guy I have ever met and never did anything to betray my trust or make me question his loyalty. His time was the only thing I wasn’t getting because hes in med school & his trust concern with me was always on the line. I proved him right so many times that I am not capable of being better.. What can I do? Im not going to text him for sure from the Sept 3 to the next 30 days. I want him to know I am actively trying to grow up and focus on being better but how will he know? Was deactiving my FB the right thing to do? I deleted all his pictures from my social media.. His were still there. I was the one who took off the relationship status. As of a week after, his was still there. What is going on here Chris, Help me 🙁

  20. Jaeliz

    August 26, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    Hi Chris! My ex-boyfriend and I are 20 years old. We were dating for about a year and a half. He was my absolute best friend, and he constantly told me that I was the one he wanted to marry. Unfortunately, he was extremely jealous and wanted me to cut off any male friends. So, I did. He felt that I was naggy because I always wanted him to improve on himself ( encouraged him to go to college-which he now attends- or simply budget his money since he complained about not having any) Anyway, so after he started working and going to school, he seemed stressed out and attributed all the stress to me. Because he was busy, I would let him be alone on most days to get work done. So, during one week, I asked him if I could come over on a Saturday. He said that I could stay the entire weekend, so I was extremely excited ! ( On that Thursday, I ran into an old male friend who I had feelings for when I was 15 (I definitely no longer had any feelings and keep in mind this is the first time I have spoken to a male in a year and a half that aren’t one of his friends) . We sat in his parked car for a couple hours and I told my friend how madly in love I was with my ex-boyfriend. I also told him that , because I loved him so much, I was not to see my friend ever again and I was glad we were able to talk . So, I did not tell my boyfriend because I was terrified he would blow the whole thing out of proportion ( regardless, I should have). The next day, Friday, I ask my ex-boyfriend if I could come over. He says , he wants to be alone. I ask him why, and he doesn’t say. So, I become a crazy text terrorist and he just dumps me right there on text. He said that I was too emotional and he could not handle it anymore and he wanted to move on forever. So I text him the next day and he sounds like he wants to get back together and tells me that he loves me so much, but the day after he finds out that I spoke to my friend( not sure how). Anyway, he texts my mom and tells her ” I wouldn’t just break up with her for no reason! She told some guy that she likes him.” SO, now I’m confused because now it just sounds like he wanted to break up with me and needed a reason. I asked him multiple times to sit and talk with me face-to-face, but he has not replied. It’s been about 2 months since we broke up and today makes 20 days NC. The last text I sent him was explaining everything that occurred between my friend and I. No reply (20days ago). I love him, I truly do, but I’m not sure if contacting him after 30 days is worth it anymore. He is insanely stubborn and has cut off his CHEATING exs before and has never replied or contacted them after months. I did not cheat, but maybe this was a blessing is disguise? Do you think he broke up with me as an excuse? Again, I’m only 20 , so we have a lot of maturing to do, but I’m so conflicted because we were extremely compatible! If I know him well-enough, 30 days NC is not even remotely enough for him. Should I just move on?I’d really appreciate your advice!!

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