485 thoughts on “Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule”

  1. Avatar

    Leila

    February 11, 2019 at 6:17 pm

    Hi Chris
    I’ve been reading a lot on the internet to help my situation. I was with my husband for 4 years. And after Christmas I found a spare phone which he had active. He denied anything wrong with it but he said he wasn’t happy and me having doubts about what he is doing and packed his stuff and left to live at his mums. My daughter (his step daughter) and I were devastated and I couldn’t understand what I did wrong. He said he was never coming back and things had gone to far. He then started texting he missed me a week later and we met up a few days and I thought he would be coming back, but I found the same phone in the car this time I looked and it had lots of women’s numbers and his tinder profile which had a picture of a selfie he took on our wedding day that he sent me. I was gutted. I was calm and asked him why he was in our home and he said he loved me and just couldn’t come back. I showed him the phone and he said I should leave since you know the truth now. So I said I respect your decision and just leave. I was in pieces. He threw the phone over the balcony and said I want to save my marriage and I’m bringing all my stuff back. He then flipped and said I’ve hurt you so much I’ll never gain your trust again and he left. I didn’t text him. I was still in shock. I fell asleep early and in the morning saw all these messages. I tried to reply back but he blocked me. He said he couldn’t do this anymore and he hated himself for what he did and that to start the separation papers and to remove him from my property. So I did all he requested and said I accepted his decision as I had no other choice. The lawyer advised me to tell him the papers were sent out. He responded and tried calling but I couldn’t answer his calls as I was hurting so much. His messages basically said he will sign anything and send back. I was gutted as I thought he’d say sorry and that this isn’t want he wanted. I then sent a text back saying ‘as requested I’ve done everything you have asked to help you move on quicker from all this. I need to now focus my energy on me and my daughter and getting us to a better place. I won’t be in contact for a while whilst I sort all of this out. Hope you are doing well in your new job. All the best’ he responded with a sad face emoji and then text ‘I hate that message’. I didn’t reply. And I know he has paid the separation papers. I’m so gutted as I wanted to work out my marriage but he didn’t put if shame and pride. It’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard from him. But I don’t think I’ll ever hear from him again. And I guess I’m using the no contact rule to sort my feelings out as I’m still in shock with everything. We had an amazing wedding, a great relationship with travelling, restaurants etc. Yes we argued. And had moments apart but nothing as serious as this. We bought our first home together. Only lived in it for 4 months before all this. He is in massive amounts of debt, living in his dads living room and dropped his wages at work. He tried to get his own apartment but failed referencing, now looking for a room to rent. Yet I’m here willing to help, but he gave up so quick on everything. I don’t understand tbh. Will he ever contact me again?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 11, 2019 at 11:29 pm

      Hi Leila…so my advice is to tap into some of the resources you will find on my home page to help you implement the No Contact rule properly and all of the rest of the things that go along with that. Remember that sorting out your feelings and focusing on your own healing is the most important part of NC.

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    Anna

    December 14, 2018 at 10:02 am

    Hi Chris,
    for some time I read your articles and watch your clips and hope you can help me … if possible of course.
    I am 28 years old, I have been married for 5 months, been with my husband together for 5 years, been living together for 3. After the wedding, the things between us seemed to get worse. Later I realized that my husband had feelings for his colleague (info – his colleague is also married for 3 months). A month ago, we decided to give ourselves time (thirty days) to figure out what we would do with our relationship from here on. He left the home. The end of this month comes in two days. During this month, I applied the no contact rule and did not search for him, I did not call him, I closed my social accounts. I found out that several times he looked for me. One time he came home to pay utility bills, next time I know he saw with my mother (they had a pretty good relationship) and he asked her for me – how I am. He has asked about me a friend of ours. One of the ways in which he called me was my personal holiday. Call me to tell me that he went home to leave me something for the holiday – he had bought me a big bouquet of flowers. I want to save my marriage and the relationship, but I want to know if I have a chance at all. I am worried because on other days I will know what my future will be from now on! What do you think? Do I have a chance? Is there a chance for a month to overcome his feelings towards the colleague and become aware of what he want from me? Sorry if my writhing isn’t good, but English isn’t my native language.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 15, 2018 at 12:03 am

      Hi Anna!

      All things are possible because the future is always moving with many possibilities. What most important is having a plan that can help you realize what you want. Do you have an ex Recovery plan. If not, visit my Home page and check out the resources I make available.

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    Amy Griggs

    November 30, 2018 at 3:41 am

    Hi, Chris. — I’m an older woman, who’s been in a long-distance relationship, for the past two years, with a man who’s also older. Though he’s traveled to see me, I’ve done more of the traveling to see him – and I haven’t minded that, because I love the area in which he lives (we bought a house and acreage, together – jointly). When apart, we’ve spoken on the phone, nearly every night, as well. The situation is that though he’s a decent enough man at heart, he’s a country man – with a very low level of education and a limited perspective. I do really feel that, for various reasons, I’ve turned myself inside out, trying to help him and to help make our relationship work. — Quite often these two years, I’ve become angry at things he does (or doesn’t do). Recently, something happened (it was an accident on our property), that could have been prevented – and when I tried to explain that to him on the phone, three nights’ ago, it turned into an argument. I felt that he was really making stupid remarks, when he really should have known better. (It was a common sense issue.) The argument escalated (and I truly do believe I was right, and I also believe most people would objectively believe I was right – and this is not even about my being right, really), and he then said he’d call me the next day – thereby he wanted to control the conversation by ending it. I was fed up by then and said, “You know what? – don’t call me.” He hasn’t. (After all, I DID tell him not to call me.) That said, I’m not going to call him. On top of this, I’m having health concerns – and he knows this – and I’ve been under a fair amount of stress, as a result. — Bottom line, I won’t call him – and it could be that he’ll never call me. Being that we co-own our property, it could be a bit sticky and awkward, if this all heads toward a break up. Perhaps he took my “Don’t call me” as meaning that we’re done. — Relationships are complicated, but I’m still not going to call him.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 30, 2018 at 5:18 am

      Hi Amy…first off….the most important thing is your health….emotional and physical. You should take a deeper dive into the no contact principle which is an important element in many ex recovery programs. It affords you an opportunity to accomplish many things for yourself and potentially for the relationship recovery. Visit my home page as I have a lot of resources and tools for you there. But its starts with you healing and there is a process for that.

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    praj

    November 26, 2018 at 8:37 am

    hi chris… i amin a relationship with a guy for about 3 to 4 years now and we are about to get married but suddenly he changed his mind saying 100 reasons but he didnt break up and wanting me to be around him. i was frustrated at the start but hold on to my emotions and now its 6 months never contacted him upfront but replied to his texts minimal. meanwhile he keeps saying or giving some hints he wants me and as wife but just keep taking time and no commitment. what should i do?

  5. Avatar

    Stacey

    November 19, 2018 at 9:20 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I done the no contact for 2 weeks (because we have children) in August. One day I had 32 missed calls, then another 25. But the worst one was 58 times in one day and a few texts! People said “no way he’s calling all those times just to speak to the kids. He’s stressing because he’s wanting to know what your up to as well and showing your moving on etc”
    He was doing this whilst he was sleeping with this girl (she had a husband and 4 kids. I know, terrible)
    Anyway, I’m back on the no contact because this girl is getting too involved when we have family time (which makes us end up arguing) he’s apologised and said he knows I’m not to blame and it’s her but I just don’t know what to do anymore. The last thing I want to be doing is arguing over her because that’s what she wants. So that’s why I’ve decided to go back to no contact until he sorts his sh$t out. But the sad thing is, he doesn’t get to speak to his son either because of his age.
    It will be 2 weeks on Wednesday that we’ve not spoke. He does send nice messages can I ring him please or tell the kids he loves them, then to not so nice messages. Which, I ignore.
    It’s hard because we have children but I’m not having someone of 5 minutes of knowing him keep spoiling our family time, it’s wrong (which he’s been kind of allowing) . He said that wont be happening again and he sees what she is doing etc… We’ve been together for 13yrs and he’s known her a couple of months. She is so needy and obviously threatened by me.
    He told his friend who I saw the other day it was just a fling gone wrong and he feels he’s got himself in such a mess and all she does is go on at him all the time. To his friend saying back that he would be stupid of risking losing a very good family that he had. He said “he knows, he knows, and he’s working on it. He said his head is up his arse.
    His friend said “I got onto him straight away. He doesn’t sound the same person and he didn’t sound too happy”

    I just don’t know what to do. I am focusing on healing myself and showing him I’m moving on and spoke to someone, but, I’m scared if he thinks I’m moving on it will push him in her arms just for the sake of it.

    I feel like I’m at a lost cause because I just don’t know what to think or do. One minute I think “there could be light” then the next I think “I’ve lost him forever!”

    Please, if you have any advice is be grateful…

  6. Avatar

    Flo

    November 18, 2018 at 1:03 pm

    Hello Chris,
    I did a week of no contact two weeks after he moved out to live with his parents, and after that week had passed he started texting once everyday. On the 7th day he called 3 times different hours asking me if I was alive? Or ok… I didn’t want to just disappear or become a ghost, nor did I want him to show up at our apartment. I responded very cut and dry “Needing some quiet time in my life to reflect on things and focus on my healing. I’m ok….”, he texted me the next day “no problem, Sorry for my insistence I was in the area and wanted to stop by and shower perhaps eat something (he had gotten out of work, and was heading to nursing school in Miami (reason for wanting to shower)). This had happened once before …I let him in, and we became intimate. That is when I started the NC rule. I did not want this to happen again… by messaging him did I break the NC rule? We’ve known each other for 5 yrs and out of those years lived together for 4 years… I have not contacted him since last message nor did I reply to the last message he sent about wanting to stop by again…

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 18, 2018 at 7:27 pm

      Hi Flo!

      Well, you do get more out of NC when you let it build slowly and also when you do the things within NC to optimize its advantages.

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    Mary

    October 26, 2018 at 8:42 pm

    Hi chris,
    I am in the NC period and my ex contact me after 14 days, and he want to talk to me. I answer and tell him that i am in hurry and if is something important that he want to say a will listen to him. He aksed me, when will we go on that trip we plan to go together, and i say that i dont know and tell him, i am sorry but i have to go, can i call you later, and he went silent and i repeat to him i will call you later. I didnt call him, and it was 4 days ago. We broke up because he act childish, and non stop insist to talk with me but when i tell him, we talk more than 1h, insted we see each others, he tell that he is tired and so on.. and after 20 days of talking and not seeing i told him that i cant be in this kind of relationship and this has no sense to me. And that is the day when i go for NC rule. What are you think, does he miss me and want me back, and is he ready to change and fullfild my needs? I dont understand him at all.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 27, 2018 at 1:06 am

      Hi Mary!

      Yep…some guys will act immature and childish. I think NC is the right medicine. Fee free to tap my website as I have a lot of information about NC in the form of eBooks, etc!

  8. Avatar

    Candace Willard

    October 14, 2018 at 11:07 pm

    To my long comment below…

    Hey again! Improving?? He hasnt talked to me more than a hi at work in over a month… I feel more confused than ever! To call me over to talk to him and someone else?! I mean… idk what he expected me to do? Since were not friends.. like I said we havent talked since the break up.. u dont think hes just playing games?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 15, 2018 at 3:06 am

      Hi Candace!

      Probably best to focus on your own healing right now which will help you with managing better whatever ex recovery plan you choose to implement.

  9. Avatar

    Sindi

    October 14, 2018 at 3:06 pm

    Hi Chris. My boyfriend told me we need to take a break. It’s 3rd day now and I’m really dying to know whether he is going to contact me or not, and when. Do you think giving his the space he wanted will make him want to come back to me. Confused.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 14, 2018 at 9:10 pm

      Hi Sindi!

      So I hope you are following my program. Pick up my eBook and make sure you know how the NC process works.

  10. Avatar

    Candace Willard

    October 14, 2018 at 5:15 am

    I cant find any of my comments! 🙁

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 14, 2018 at 9:35 pm

      Ummmm, not sure where they went Candace!

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    Candace

    October 14, 2018 at 5:03 am

    Hey Chris.. I cant find my original comment… but i gave u a lot to think about about a week ago.. my ex was the one who lost his son a cple years ago in a car accident and we work together Since that comment, I have found out from ppl at work that my ex broke up with me because of his personal stuff.. that it wasnt me.. ok.. well on Friday nights I been painting the town with my cousin..and dressing my best even at work (I dont have a dirty job so I can) and I leave right after work which is 1130pm..anywho Friday I wore a brand new outfit and caught him glancing several times..and I was getting the hellos and smiles and stuff..I keep it friendly at work..but have stopped texting him btw.. well tonight were up in the parking lot at break (well I snuck out), and he was out there talking to one of the girls who work there….. he goes Candy..i turn around and he says u can come over here..i dont bite and i turned back around..and hes just giggling.. so I turned around again and hes like kind of waving me over and he said you can come over I said I know I can..so then I went to put my cig out and i said now I’m out of here..and hes like you’re leaving early???!!! I said no I snuck out for a cig… hes like oh ok.. then once inside he calls me over to show me his new tat..I said oh that’s cool..hope ur putting aquaphor on it..hes like no they said a and d I said well they are stupid..cause its aquaphor that keeps it moisturized and you can buy it at the dollar gentral for 5 bucks (he always thought it was funny I called the dollar general that) and he repeated it, laughed. I smiled he says I’m getting another one in 2 weeks..I was like nice and walked away..THEN he said nothing the other 2 times he saw me! Wth was that?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 14, 2018 at 9:37 pm

      Seems like things are improving.

  12. Avatar

    Pennie

    October 13, 2018 at 4:41 pm

    Dear Chris thanks for your sincere workable advice, this is my concern I broke up with my Ex yesterday over text coz I was very angry with him for not calling for 2days, what actually pissed me off is when I asked him why he just told me not to mind about that, I should know he is always thinking about me and he loves, I took it that he didn’t care and may be he didn’t contact because I’m not his priority, I quarreled and cancelled the call then I sent him a text saying its over, he didn’t reply, he hasn’t yet called even, what should I think now, I’m feeling so bad, we have been together for a month

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 14, 2018 at 9:50 pm

      Hi Pennie!

      Your ex needs to learn to treat you with kindness and pay attention to your needs. A little break will do you both good.

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    Mel

    October 12, 2018 at 10:52 am

    Hi Chris, I’ve been with my love for 10 months and we are both in Australia alone just have each other. I am about to be 26 and he’s soon to be 28. We’ve lived together since the beginning and we’ve been through ALOT together. I love him so much but I had to leave him due to him still being on dating apps, testing other girls and even almost going to meet them. He swears to god he loves me and I know that for a fact due to some of his reactions towards some situations.

    We moved to a new city (took a 27-hour drive up north and he took weeks to fix the car) for my visa stuff and he left his job, friends and all to move here with me. He said if he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t do that. I know he’s online looking for girls and last time I saw him at the bar trying to talk to someone. I am very heartbroken and have been trying to talk to him about it and told him it hurts me many times, cried many times and he would hug me and say he only loves me and that all of that means nothing to him. Last time I was so upset, i took the car and drove off and he texted me ‘I love you more than anything, thats true. I dont know why I do that stupid shit, but trust me theres nothing wrong with you’.

    Anyways, he said he wants to stop doing that and he promised he will work on it, but no change. I packed my bags on Monday morning, left him a note that he hurt me and I cant do this anymore but that I do love him and I wish him the best. I left, he was still sleeping.

    I am on NC day 5 now. So far, he has called me about 6 times altogether. Day 1: He tried ‘to be nice’ to me, by saying he has some money and if i need any he can give me, I didnt respond. Also called me I didnt respond. Day 2: I posted on FB that I am sick and he said if I need anything to let him know. Day 3:He called me twice. I didnt respond of course. Then day 4, he said that I have his medical card and its in my bag and he needs to go to the hospital because he might of dislocaked his sholder.I didnt have the card actually, it was with him in the room in a very evident spot, so must be lying..I didnt respond to his text, then he called 3 times and then texted ‘Thanks I hope you are having a good time’…. My friend is in the same hostel with him and said hes always alone now and not very social like usual, just by himself on his phone and that he looks sad, but tries to hide it.

    Now today day 5.. he havent reached out to me yet. Maybe since its friday after he drinks tonight he will try again.. I dont know what to do, because he is all about challenge and competition as you mention. I think now hes in the angry phrase. Please tell me your thought and how long I should do NC for? Also I read the article but didnt undertsand when is that thought that they had ‘lost me forever’.. is that at the end of the NC..or in the middle..so I know when to act. Also, in the articles ‘the texts’ you show us are not visable.. I dont know why but I cant see them. Maybe you can email me the article and that would clear things up..Please let me know if I have a chance of getting him back. I know I left but I had no choice. I love him and we even talked about rings, future, kids..

    Thank you

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 13, 2018 at 2:16 am

      Hi Mel!

      Best to stay with your NC as planned. But give him a heads up that you are in a quiet period. You can say: “ I’m taking some time for myself to heal and take stock of things. Just wanted you to know why I won’t be available or communicating for some time. There are some exceptions when you can end things sooner. Take a look at pick up my 247 page eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” as I cover all of this in detail!

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    Daisy

    October 5, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    What if he knows you’re doing no contact because an idiot friend told him? By the way greattttt article.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 5, 2018 at 8:53 pm

      Hi Daisy!

      It doesn’t matter. He probably suspected it. He just doesn’t know quite how it will all unfold and the psychological principles can still put a grip on his mind.

  15. Avatar

    NN

    October 5, 2018 at 4:23 am

    Hi Chris,

    I’ve been in a relationship for a year, and has been broken up for 5 months. During that 5 months, my ex always come to me, chat me, and even drunk twice and come to see me.
    He said he scared he can’t get away from me.
    Actually I do no contact rule for now, and already in day 16th.
    He already send me a message once, but i ignore him.
    Do you think this NC will work?
    I do really wish able to get him back.

    Thank you 🙂

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 5, 2018 at 9:56 pm

      Hi NN!

      I do think NC holds promise. I talk about how NC can help you in so many ways and how to maximize its use in my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. So take a look at that if you need a Companion Guide.

  16. Avatar

    Helpless

    September 17, 2018 at 9:56 am

    Hi, after two years of long distance relationship he broke up by ignoring me. I came to see him and he ignored me, and finally he said that he doesn’t want contact with me because he thinks that I manipulated him for two years and that this is it. I tried to contact him (calls, texts, WA,..he didn’t open even one text) next 10 or 15 days. He ignored me again. I stopped. Day 11 and I still didn’t contact him. What should I do? P.S.I’m 100% confused because I have never manipulated and I have no idea what’ş going on. We fight a lot during those two year but treatment like this I don’t understand. Couple of days before break up he said „I told you that I will never break up with you“ (I didn’t ask him even). Is it possible that this is just excuse and that he stopped because of something else? I still love him. What should I do? Thank you.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 9:24 pm

      Hi Helpless!

      So its time to stop being Helpless! I have a ton of resources here on the site that can help you. You should consider No Contact and focus on your on healing

  17. Avatar

    D

    September 15, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    Hey Chris I have a pretty unique situation. Me and my ex were together for 6 years. We hardly fought about anything. 4 years ago his brother died and he changed a bit….a year after that he broke up with me then we got back together 2 months after. recently his other brother(only one left) committed suicide and immediately moved in with his mom and started to distant himself from me and eventually broke it off saying he couldn’t give me what I wanted and got the rest of his stuff from our place and took it to his moms. I’m devastated and confused. Everyone is! Even his friends. I just don’t know what to do or think anymore. What should I do?

  18. Avatar

    simran

    September 2, 2018 at 9:34 am

    Hi Chris
    while i am following the no contact rule, he has actually called me twice, on the last call i told him that i needed sometime and i will contact you once i know i am ready. i also mentioned that i need to get over all that has happened.
    during the relationship if we ever had a fight we would resolve and move forward the same day itself. we have never stayed out of contact more that 12 hours or so in the 5 year relationship. i am on the 5th day of the no contact rule and this is my 2nd try at it. i am very sure i will be able to get through 30 days of no contact.
    but after the last conversation we had i am wondering will it still work?? will he still be missing me and feel the void of is he going to just think that i am just taking some time off.
    And to add on to the information, he is a stubborn and an introvert person. he used to only open up to me about most of the things in his life.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 2, 2018 at 8:31 pm

      Hi Simran….I am glad you are NC. Given your relationship history as a couple, you might want to employ a shortened no contact approach. The idea is you both probably need time to clear your heads and recover from the chaos of the breakup, but if his communications he leaves you are positive, it may be appropriate to end no contact and try to rebuild some trust.

  19. Avatar

    Maria

    August 31, 2018 at 6:04 am

    Hi, I am a 27 year old female and I met a guy on Tinder who is 33 and we have dated for about 4 months. We started off at a slow, steady pace, and our relationship prospered beautifully. We texted every day throughout the 4 months. We went on several dates, such as walks at the park, dinners, visit wineries, etc. From the start though, our relationship was a bit rocky due to life circumstances. About 1 month in, he had gotten a new job in a new city (only about 1 hour away). Still, we both agreed to make it work. The new job took a toll on him since he had escalated to higher position and earned a much higher income. During this time, he expressed how appreciative he was for me. He opened up to me a lot. He expressed things like “You are the best thing that has come into my life” and “I love you, you make me feel wholesome.” He would bring up the future at times and mention how he can see us together, although it’s not something he is ready for right now, but way down the line. He told me he loved me. He also wanted to meet my family. This guy had really made me feel wonderful and I felt safe, secure, and happy with him. I developed love for him.

    About 2 weeks ago (4 months into our relationship) on the night that he was supposed to meet my family, he had added a couple new photos to his Tinder account.

    I was incredibly shocked but tried to keep my cool. I brought up my concern via text and we had a discussion about it that lasted 2 days (they were long messages with about 5-8 hours in between responses). It was a conversation that led to the topic of commitment and the long term/future. He told me that he doesn’t care about Tinder and that he cares about us and doesn’t want to talk about it. He said that he is only committed to me. I told him that I don’t care about Tinder, I care about us and our relationship and I am willing to go 100% in… I told him if he feels the same, I’d happily delete my account.

    Long story short, our text conversation ended where I expressed my feelings – that I am only interested in dating exclusively and no one else, and that the idea of a long-term commitment down the line doesn’t have to be addressed now, but it can’t be totally blocked out for good. Otherwise, I don’t know what his intention is in the relationship. He agreed with me 100% and said that he feels the same way. However, he never took action on deleting his account and our conversation ended casually in a few words. He wrote the last text, and I never responded because it was short and didn’t merit a response. I also felt that I had said too much already and didn’t want to keep talking. Since then, he had not initiated further contact with me. It’s been about 2 weeks and I still have not gotten a follow up from him.

    During the 2 weeks I have cried, been back and forth about whether or not I should follow up and see if he wants to talk over the phone. As much as I wanted to reach out, I never did. I have been truly sad these past couple weeks because this man was great and had become a significant part of my life. My parents were rooting for him and they were looking forward to meeting him. He never gave me a reason to believe that he didn’t care about me or loved me. The Tinder thing was a complete shock and 180 degree flip. I know that we were not officially boyfriend/girlfriend, but I assumed that dating someone for 4 months and expressing deep and meaningful words, led me to believe that we were only dating each other and no one else. I would appreciate any help or guidance on this issue… I’ve been back and forth about texting him, but I have not. I am so hurt and filled with confusion, don’t know what he’s thinking, and would like some piece of mind about what steps forward I should take…

    Thank you.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 31, 2018 at 2:24 pm

      I can see why this has been confusing. I think you should employ no contact and get up to speed on my ex recovery program so to optimize your chances. Part of your quest is to focus on your own healing and finding that piece of mind you deserve and there are activiites for that.

  20. Avatar

    Pam

    August 30, 2018 at 6:48 am

    We’ve been separated 11 months. Only three in NC. The first 8 months he texted after a week when he asked for space and kept texting and calling for holidays and everything like he was really concerned like nothing had changed. I did not understand that. I was so confused feeling good and I let him get to me and I let him back in . But that ended up with me and finding out that he had been intimate with a woman and is still now engaging. As I was still allowing him to text and engage with me these whole 8 months I even saw him in person . Fast forward to now. I did stay in contact with him too long and that was wrong because all I did seem like was to make him stronger and make him think he can have his cake and eat it too. So Something hurtful happened with us in May and ended up on FB and I was like I’m done I went home and started NC. He reached out 2 weeks in. Congratulating me on my son’s graduation then the next month he personally message my daughter for her 21st birthday. And he liked her post. So I am determined not to contact him. I believe he is wanting me to reach out to him. If he is engaging with another woman still and he’s told me that she still around in there just friends but that’s not what it looks like. And contacting me he did not mention anything he hasn’t apologized to say anything to me about the situation. So I’m just trying to go day-by-day and move on because I feel like I did a whole lot and too much and staying in contact with him this long. I should have left him at the door months ago. Don’t you see it’s been practically a year but because these three months is the first we’ve been actually separated them talking it’s only feels like 3 months. So do you think he’ll reach out. He knows how much I love him and have always thought I’d be there. This is the first time I actually gave a consequences to his actions. So he’s still counting on me reaching out to him I bet. So I don’t know.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 31, 2018 at 3:12 am

      Hi Pam…certainly possible. Seems like a stubborn guy and a somewhat confused guy. I would stick to my guns.

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