Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You

It always starts off the same. Eyes met. Flirty things were said. Numbers were exchanged.

Then came the first date, complete with awkward conversation, several bouts of awkward silence, maybe some hand-holding and possibly a kiss… or two. Let’s be honest, those were probably awkward too. That went well and it progressed into date two and three, maybe even a few double dates. And eventually the two of you decided to make it official. Or as my younger friends like to call it, “Facebook Offish.”

Things were great… until they weren’t anymore.

Something happened.

He said some things.

You said some things.

Insults were tossed around like teenagers at an EDM festival.

And in the end, you went your separate ways.

And that’s it. It just ends there, right? You go about life and your ex moves on with his. I mean isn’t that how it goes?

WRONG!

I mean, as human beings, it is in our nature to read into every little thing that the people around us do. So, first of all, if you are wondering if your ex misses you, then you might be dealing with some unresolved feelings of your own.

But let’s just assume you know that already since you found yourself at this site and address the other issue at hand.

Does your ex miss you?

Well it’s a safe bet that he misses some things. I mean whether you were together for three weeks or three years, there had to be a reason why you were together in the first place, I mean you don’t spend that much time with someone without enjoying their company. Even if you said the worst thing ever to him when you split, I promise he’s missing at least one part of your relationship if not two.

That’s just how things work. If you had a best friend and then suddenly you stopped hanging out together, there would be something missing suddenly from your life.

But if it’s absolutely driving you crazy, and you’re wondering if the severity with which your ex misses you can be gauged by looking at his actions, I can help clear that up.

Staying Connected

After a breakup, it’s usual for the people involved to go their separate ways… usually. However, aside from situations where kids or intertwined groups of friends are involved. So, blatantly fighting to keep the connection alive between the two of you is a typical sign that he’s missing what you two had. Sometimes simply holding on is a sign of… holding on.

Direct Communication

First of all, there’s the way he stays in contact and the fact that he initiates contact. Then you can pay attention to the WAY he communicates with you. If he fights with everything he has to stay on your radar, but then fights to keep the conversation alive by talking about cheese or something equally boring, it’s likely that he just isn’t ready to let go of the relationship yet. Although if you’re a cheese enthusiast or a Packers fan, the cheese conversation probably wouldn’t be such a flag.

Another sign that the conversations you two have aren’t just conversations would be a tell-tale nervousness, much like the way you would speak to someone you have a crush on, talking to fast, saying things that later he’ll kick himself for. He might also act out of character.

Phone Calls

Well, seeing as no one really even makes actual phone calls any more. The fact that he calls you at all is a pretty good sign that he’s holding a flame. Although, if calling you was a normal thing when you were together, then it is possible that he’s just doing it out of habit. If it’s messing with your No Contact or if it’s something that bothers you. Either way it’s your prerogative to make that call.

Texts

This is similar to the phone calls. It may be something he’s doing out of habit but if it goes on past a month or so, then it is very possible that he’s trying to keep that connection alive.

Like with the calls it would be up to you whether you wish to encourage this behavior or not.

Drunk Phone Calls and Texts

You know how pretty much the entire world makes jokes about drunk texts. Heck, I think there’s a whole website dedicated to drunk texts from the ex or something.

But the truth is, I really love drunk texts. There’s this old saying, “In Vino Veritas.” I mean, of course it’s old. It’s in Latin! It means “In wine, truth.” If there’s ever something you think someone’s withholding, your best bet is to pour a little alcohol on it… like a wound.

These drunk phone calls and texts might come at any moment, unexpectedly, usually at two or three in the morning, complete with slurred words and confessions of one sort or another.

I think the reason I enjoy them so much is because they can make the deciphering process so much easier.

It’s like Cinderella. For one moment, with the help of a copious amounts of alcohol, he’s completely transformed into someone who says what he’s thinking, even if it’s just a text that says

“heyyy”

or worse,

“it’s cold, I wish you were here to snuggle.”

(Because for some reason guys think if they’re vulnerable our mommy complexes will kick in and we’ll want to take care of them. Which is true for the most part when we like them and consider them ours to take care of.)

I Miss You

This one is the most direct. Although, when my ex inevitably does this with me every few months it always comes out sound like “you know I miss you, right?”

Happy Birthday

A lot of you ask if it’s okay to reach out and say happy birthday, even if you’re almost done with a very difficult No Contact. I get it. It’s hard not to take every excuse to talk to someone you’re into. I really really do. But do you realize what drives you to do that?

You feel the need to stay connected, because you miss him. For guys it’s the very same thing, possibly even more so. Why? Well, unless your ex is notorious for remembering important dates or you two have known each other for, I don’t know, most of your lives, it’s unlikely he would reach out for any other reason. So, unless you guys have mastered the art of the “let’s stay friends” situation, it’s safe to assume he actually is still carrying a torch for you and he misses you.

Reminiscing

Usually in conjunction with an,

“I miss you”

comes a smattering of

“You remember that time we…”

and talk about all of your better traits. The way you used to brush his hair out of his face or how you used to eat the cherries off his sundaes because he doesn’t like cherries. These memories are meant to tug at your heart strings and make you remember the good times you had together. That’s his goal here, to make you miss the good times as much as he does.

Plans for the Future

He may not stick to the past at all. He might try and make plans with you for the future. No, I’m not talking about settling down together, making a home, and having lots and lots of babies. That would be silly seeing as you two just broke up.

I’m saying he might try and lock you into some plan for the future. I had this one ex, a guy I had dumped for several great reasons, and after we split he kept trying to get me to go to concerts with him. Only he would ask me about 2 months in advance.

“Hey I got tickets to that band you really really love. They were on sale, but I got the last ones there were. So, I figured we could go together.”

Even if I didn’t have entirely good motives for breaking up with him, his planning that far in advance was out of character. He was fighting incredibly hard to keep that connection between us alive.

And I don’t care if it was my favorite band’s reunion tour and they’re never ever going to be playing together again. I had good reason for leaving him and if I really wanted to go, I would have bought my own tickets or I would have offered to buy them off of him. There’s a moral issue, at least for me, in accepting gifts from someone you have no intention of getting back together with. If anything, it’s just cruel. Besides, he didn’t even like most of the bands he got tickets for.

Quick Response

If you text him, however, for whatever reason (I’m assuming you’re done with any No Contact you’ve started if you’re texting him), he responds almost instantaneously. It’s almost as if he’s sitting with the phone with a response prepared.

The Great Exchange

If you’ve fought every urge to see him and somehow avoided all of his advances he’ll do the last ditch effort thing and offer to return your belongings. Now, sometimes, it’s just because he’s sick of seeing your stuff around his place and having to think about you and the life you could have had together. But if he’s offering to bring you a toothbrush, some pictures and some lint, he’s just looking for an excuse to see you.

If it’s stuff you actually need back, I always suggest using an intermediary, someone to go pick it up for you.

Indirect Communication                

If you’ve taken the no contact approach and he is trying to keep the connection alive, he will do it by any means necessary.

Social Media

He started posting song lyrics and quotes after the breakup, not a usual thing for him. The songs happen to be songs that you listened to together or maybe one or two held special meaning to you as a couple.

He might start posting old pictures of the two of you when you were “happy.” And to make matters worse, he’ll start scrolling through your old pictures on your profiles. The evidence would be apparent when you get that notification that he liked that picture of back from when you first started your Instagram 12 years ago.

 

Selfies

He has started posting tons of selfies. The reason for this is that he’s afraid you’ve forgot his face. Does that sound silly? Okay it kind of is. He’ afraid that you’ve forgotten him. So, in a frenzy to make sure you haven’t completely forgotten him, he’ll fill your feed with pictures of his face.

Adrenaline

Suddenly his life has become very exciting and he’s better at chronicling everything than he’s ever been in his life. He’s posting pictures. He’s chasing his dreams. He finally bought new pants.

Hey, a friend of mine dated and dumped a guy for whom that would be very exciting news.

But if he’s posting pictures of his suddenly very exciting life, it is quite possible that he is trying to show you that something has changes. Perhaps he’s not quite sure what caused the breakup, but most guys take a leap and assume it’s because you were bored. More likely they’ll assume that you met someone else. Their first instinct will tell them to become better than whoever they think you’re seeing.

Investigating

We’ve already talked about the fact that he’s probably going through all of your old photos. But what we haven’t discussed is your mutual friends. If he is trying to keep a connection alive, any connection will do. This means staying connect by proxy. He will use the connections your mutual friends have with you to keep tabs on what is going on in your life.

So, if you’re mutual friends keep mentioning that your ex talks about you all the time or that there’s been several instances where he’s shown interest in what’s going on in your life, it’s highly likely that he’s using their connection with you to keep the two of you tethered.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Face-to-Face

Inevitably, you will eventually end up talking. IF you really want to know if he’s missing you, pay attention to how you came to be face-to-face and what it is you talk about.

Run-Ins

These are accidental run-ins  that are obviously planned. if your ex if having trouble letting go, he will do everything he can to see you. This could simply be running into you at your favorite coffee shop to showing up at all of the same parties despite not being invited. Regardless, if you wind up seeing him as much if not more than you did when the two of you were together, it’s likely that there’s still a bit of a catch on is end of the moving on process.

The Know-It-All

Suddenly, whether he’s stalking it up on social media or asking all of your friends, when you do talk he knows almost as much about your life as you do. He knows your sister was sick a few weeks ago. He knows your cousin is having her baby next weekend.  I know it sounds kind of creepy, but he’s just trying to stay a part of your life.

Love Life

When you do speak, he seems overly interested in your love life. Are you seeing anyone? Have you been dating? Do you see yourself getting serious with anyone in the future? These are all normal things for your annoying Aunt Ellie to ask at awkward family holiday get-togethers, but if he’s asking these kind of questions it’s because he’s already imagining the worse possible answers in is head.

Although when it comes down to how he approaches talking about his love life, it’s a little harder to decipher. There are three ways he might go about this. He could be dating around and avoid the topic all together so as not to ruin any goodwill he has with you. He could be dating around and rub it in your face. This could be done either to make you feel bad or looking to instigate some jealousy.

Then, there is the possibility that he’s not dating with the hopes that you’ll get back together. All of these are very possible, and the only person who can decipher these moves is him and maybe you if you know him REALLY well.

Jealousy

When your dating habits come up, look at how he responds. Is he genuinely happy for you? If he’s missing you or more importantly, if he wants you back, he’ll display some possessiveness and even some jealousy. If for any reason another guy shows you attention, gauge his reaction. Any sign that he feels like someone is encroaching on his territory is a sign that he still sees you as his. He’ll also be annoyed at you showing anyone else attention if he is trying to reestablish a connection with you. He’ll perceive any possibility of your attention wavering as an attack on that bond he’s so desperately trying to hold onto.

And if you ARE seeing someone new, he will be overly critical of him. Although, it can be cleverly disguised as just caring whether he’s good enough for you. But we both know that if he’s digging into this guy, it’s because he’s measuring himself up against him and trying to figure out that age old question.

“What’s he have that I don’t?”

Compliments

Hopefully he complimented you plenty when you were together. But now that you are apart, the familiarity should fade some. If, however, he is still showering you with compliments as much or more than he was when the two of you first started dating, he is trying to get back in your good graces.

Parade of Changes

He might even try to convince you he’s changed, but I’ll promise you right now, if it’s only been a few weeks or a few months since the breakup, it’s more likely that any changes he’s actually made won’t be permanent. I have my ex, who also happens to be a very close friend, trained so well that every time he tries to tell me that he’s coming to visit (He never quite makes it here. Last time he wound up in Hawaii rather than Texas. Common mistake.) he doesn’t even wait for me to respond he just goes,

“I know. I know. You’ll believe it when you see it.”

Angry Outburst

Does it feel like just when you’re getting to a good place with him he suddenly picks a fight? Well, the good news is he’s most likely not mad at you. It’s possible that he, as my ex says, caught the feels, and is mad at himself for missing you. Does it make any sense? Absolutely not. Is he going to pick a fight anyway? Yep.

So, How Do You Deal with an Ex That’s Missing You

Well, long story short, it all comes down to what you want. You have to look at the reasons you broke up. Are they deal breakers? Did you just break up because you were bored? Weigh the pros and cons of the two of you being together.

For a while after my most recent ex and I went our separate ways, I considered whether I would get back with him. You see, despite him being absolutely impossible, being with him gave me the motivation to move forward on a lot of things I had been putting off. So, even though our entire relationship was awash, I still saw it in a positive light. However, after taking a long look at it… okay it really didn’t take that long, he was a complete jerk…I realized that the upsides of our relationship were all things I could do for myself. He just happened to show me that I could.

So, in your weighing of your relationship, I suggest you take into account the REAL reasons you broke up in the first place.

The one thing I will say is that missing you, doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to get back together. It may just mean that he misses the familiarity and comfort of having someone around. So, if there were big things that he needs to work on, such as anger issues or substance abuse, something you can actually gauge improvement in, I would simply encourage him to continue down the path of getting better.

I have a friend whose wife recently left him because his psychological issues was something she just couldn’t handle. Now, he’s a great guy and I believe he truly wants to win his wife back. But when I suggested that the only way he could do that is to talk to a therapist, despite appearing to be willing to go, he never made a move to actually do it. He wasn’t willing to do what it takes… yet.

So, this is what I pose to you. Take the No Contact period and use it to work on anything going on in your life that needs to be worked on. Better yourself and work on your sense of self. It’s harder than it sounds, but getting to know yourself can be the most important thing you ever do. And it’s important to do it when you aren’t attached to someone otherwise your sense of self gets tangled with theirs.

Take your No Contact. I’d say 30 days, but if you both have difficult things you need to work on, I’d make it a week or so longer. If your ex continues to “bump into you” be cordial and excuse yourself, for whatever reason. I’m sure you can think of one. If one of my exes bumps into me at the coffee shop, I excuse myself because I usually go there to work or study. He knows both of these things are important so he wouldn’t dare argue about it.

Find your reason and excuse yourself. IF you do find yourself speaking to him for a moment ask how quittinog smoking is coming along, or whatever issue it is that he’s working on. If he’s says,

“It’s going great! I’m really making progress.”

Then you should respond with something like,

“Awesome! I hear it takes 66 days to make a habit. I look forward to seeing what you’ve accomplished at 66 days.”

Then politely excuse yourself. Believe me, this is the exact reason headphones were created.

What you have done here is you’ve set a goal for him. And you’ve set him up for a reward. He will have an excuse to talk to you at 66 days if he makes it. So, he’s more likely to actually try.

Now, leave it and go back to working on becoming the best you.

If you’re like me you feel like you have to babysit people. If you know your friend is on a diet, yet you see them looking at the cookies, suddenly you become the Cookie Police.

Not only is it not your job to make sure your ex follows through, you would fail on your own no contact if you are focused on him. As we say in our group of friends,

“You do you.”

Focus on what you need and if your ex happens to get his life together, then maybe you can consider giving him another chance. But my suggestion as always is to focus on your own life. Make it the best you can and then worry about adding people to it. You’d be surprised how different the world looks when you aren’t up to your eyeballs in shoulda-woulda-coulda’s.

Besides, if your ex knows that dealing with his anger issues was the reason you split, he’d do everything he could to fix it. If he’s not, then he must not want it that much. That is how you know.

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Ashley.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

EBR Team Member: Ashley

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208 Comments on "Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You"

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Anonymous
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Hi, my ex and I dated for 4 months, we saw each other almost every day and got along so well. We had the most amazing time over the summer. I then had to move back to the city for University, (It would be a 3.5 hour drive away) I wanted him to make a decision and commit to a relationship. Because of my own insecurities I kept pushing him for an answer he eventually decided he couldn’t do distance. (according to his best friend he told him it was mutual, it kind of was but not really considering he… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Admin

I actually think you have the right idea by being your normal, confident and happy self. I get that this process is tough to go through. I’ve been helping people for half a decade and my heart still hurts for people. Anyways, I think you definitely should do a no contact rule.

Ice
Guest
I had a long term and long distance relationship with my ex for almost two years. It also took me more than two years to move on from him (or I thought I did). Until few days ago that he drunk texted me and for some reason, I realized I still miss him. For that two years, I always initiated contact and just last Dec 2017, I decided I really have to move on and welcome other people in my life. This Feb 2018, he suddenly drunk text me with nonsense things and replied to me the following day that… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ice,

Yup, for now but later on, it would be better to unblock him..so, that if he messages again, that’s your chance of ignoring it to keep fully moving on..

Ice
Guest
I had a long term and long distance relationship with my ex for almost two years. It also took me more than two years to move on from him (or I thought I did). Until few days ago that he drunk texted me and for some reason, I realized I still miss him. For that two years, I always initiated contact and just last Dec 2017, I decided I really have to move on and welcome other people in my life. This Feb 2018, he suddenly drunk text me with nonsense things and replied to me the following day that… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ice,

Yup, for now but later on, it would be better to unblock him..so, that if he messages again, that’s your chance of ignoring it to keep fully moving on..

Penelope
Guest
My ex and i broke up after 3 years (he broke up with me). when we broke up I did NC for a month i haven’t heard from him. Shortly after, he contacted me and we have been talking ever since. He always initiates contact. we have been talking for 2 weeks now but he hasn’t asked about how i am nor has he said anything about the relationship. its just random conversations throughout the day. What do i do from here? I want him back but i dont know if hes just stringing me along or is he just… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Penelope,

How much are you improving yourself and being active in posting during nc and currently? And are you using topics of his interests?

Penelope
Guest
My ex and i broke up after 3 years (he broke up with me). when we broke up I did NC for a month i haven’t heard from him. Shortly after, he contacted me and we have been talking ever since. He always initiates contact. we have been talking for 2 weeks now but he hasn’t asked about how i am nor has he said anything about the relationship. its just random conversations throughout the day. What do i do from here? I want him back but i dont know if hes just stringing me along or is he just… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Penelope,

How much are you improving yourself and being active in posting during nc and currently? And are you using topics of his interests?

Saniya Tanveer
Guest

I was friend with a guy for mor then 3 years
8 months before we got into a relationship and now we brokeup because he thinks he has no strong feelings for me and he cant love me the way I am expecting. We had a fight we both apologised each other and I haven’t contacted him since a week and I don’t even find any signs of him missing me
I really want him back what do I do

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Saniya,

The nc rule is for you to focus in improving yourself and in healing, not for him to initiate during it because you will have to ignore that and you can initiate after nc

Saniya Tanveer
Guest

I was friend with a guy for mor then 3 years
8 months before we got into a relationship and now we brokeup because he thinks he has no strong feelings for me and he cant love me the way I am expecting. We had a fight we both apologised each other and I haven’t contacted him since a week and I don’t even find any signs of him missing me
I really want him back what do I do

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Saniya,

The nc rule is for you to focus in improving yourself and in healing, not for him to initiate during it because you will have to ignore that and you can initiate after nc

ShayRonn Madl
Guest
Ok so my ex just started pulling away about a year ago. And blames me for it all, I went to work come home walked my son to daycare and walked to wwork. He worked then too. He’s normally a roofer and so it become stressful, then he always started having around 10 people give or take quite a few anyway and having cookout’s every day we stopped talking every time I try to talk about anything he starts screaming at me and normally telling me I’m stupid and wrong. But here’s my problem. I, can’t seem to let go.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Shayronn,

Would you rather lose him or lose your kids when you go to jail?

ShayRonn Madl
Guest
Ok so my ex just started pulling away about a year ago. And blames me for it all, I went to work come home walked my son to daycare and walked to wwork. He worked then too. He’s normally a roofer and so it become stressful, then he always started having around 10 people give or take quite a few anyway and having cookout’s every day we stopped talking every time I try to talk about anything he starts screaming at me and normally telling me I’m stupid and wrong. But here’s my problem. I, can’t seem to let go.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Shayronn,

Would you rather lose him or lose your kids when you go to jail?

Princess
Guest
My boyfriend and i was almost 7 months in a relationship. We broke up because he told me my attitude is too much.. too much of jealousy and fights. So one day he said he needs space after the fight and told me that he has become emotionless. So i gave it to him. After 2days, i text gnatted him because of the space that he needs. After that, he told me that we should break up coz he doesnt love me anymore. And given that his mom came home after 12years of not going home. I begged for a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Princess,

why not try the no contact rule first?

Princess
Guest
My boyfriend and i was almost 7 months in a relationship. We broke up because he told me my attitude is too much.. too much of jealousy and fights. So one day he said he needs space after the fight and told me that he has become emotionless. So i gave it to him. After 2days, i text gnatted him because of the space that he needs. After that, he told me that we should break up coz he doesnt love me anymore. And given that his mom came home after 12years of not going home. I begged for a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Princess,

why not try the no contact rule first?

Cherry
Guest
hi, my ex and i together for 2 years. now, i am in the middle of NC. 7days but i broke it 🙁 mu ex contact me every day to ask me a favor or help. then yesterday he said it is ok if i don’t want to talk to him again, it is your choice. if it is better for you then ok i will leave you alone. i freaked out and reply his text. what does he mean by saying that? i am affraid that he will forget me because he thinks i will forget him also. he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Cherry,

restart nc and check this one:
Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

Cherry
Guest
hi, my ex and i together for 2 years. now, i am in the middle of NC. 7days but i broke it 🙁 mu ex contact me every day to ask me a favor or help. then yesterday he said it is ok if i don’t want to talk to him again, it is your choice. if it is better for you then ok i will leave you alone. i freaked out and reply his text. what does he mean by saying that? i am affraid that he will forget me because he thinks i will forget him also. he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Cherry,

restart nc and check this one:
Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

Sasha
Guest
Oh my…this was an eye opener. I thought I was going mad! It’s been several months since we split,and at the time I thought it was the right decision. (Mutual) I then found out he was cheating afew months before,which just reinforced my decision. After fifteen years together,the child, dog and house,it seems we both ran out of steam. I went NC immediately for self preservation, sheer anxiety that he replaced me and moved in with her. Now here’s the thing…he is constantly asking about me to friends,even now,he now picks our teenage daughter up for school most days (… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sasha,

It does look like he is missing you.m but if you miss him and you want to get back with him, ask yourself first if he’s the right guy to be with, aside from being the father of your child

Sasha
Guest
Oh my…this was an eye opener. I thought I was going mad! It’s been several months since we split,and at the time I thought it was the right decision. (Mutual) I then found out he was cheating afew months before,which just reinforced my decision. After fifteen years together,the child, dog and house,it seems we both ran out of steam. I went NC immediately for self preservation, sheer anxiety that he replaced me and moved in with her. Now here’s the thing…he is constantly asking about me to friends,even now,he now picks our teenage daughter up for school most days (… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sasha,

It does look like he is missing you.m but if you miss him and you want to get back with him, ask yourself first if he’s the right guy to be with, aside from being the father of your child

Sammi
Guest
Hi, Help! I was In a long term relationship for 5 years, we split due to stress put on to our relationship as my family did not like him (we had split many times, I thought we would get back together). We still talked, and we’re meant to meet to say bye and clear the air, but then I found out my ex had started seeing someone else after a few weeks! So I broke all contact and blocked him on all social media. I have been in other relationships, but I always thought of my ex. I started to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sammi,

if you see him just approach him and say hi.. you wouldn’t know if you keep guessing.

Sammi
Guest
Hi, Help! I was In a long term relationship for 5 years, we split due to stress put on to our relationship as my family did not like him (we had split many times, I thought we would get back together). We still talked, and we’re meant to meet to say bye and clear the air, but then I found out my ex had started seeing someone else after a few weeks! So I broke all contact and blocked him on all social media. I have been in other relationships, but I always thought of my ex. I started to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sammi,

if you see him just approach him and say hi.. you wouldn’t know if you keep guessing.

Oh, So I'M Nancy
Guest
In a very confusing situation. The object of my affection was never my boyfriend, but we did have an intense two week period where we were dating/seeing each other. I had been crushing on him pretty hard for a month before that. I got the courage to ask him if he wanted to hang out and made it very apparent that I was interested, and he seemed very interested as well. The two weeks that we’d been spending time together, things were very affectionate and intimate and sweet (he told me on numerous occasions that he found me cute/pretty/beautiful). At… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Oh, So I'M Nancy
Guest
In a very confusing situation. The object of my affection was never my boyfriend, but we did have an intense two week period where we were dating/seeing each other. I had been crushing on him pretty hard for a month before that. I got the courage to ask him if he wanted to hang out and made it very apparent that I was interested, and he seemed very interested as well. The two weeks that we’d been spending time together, things were very affectionate and intimate and sweet (he told me on numerous occasions that he found me cute/pretty/beautiful). At… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Sara
Guest
Hello.. I broke up 1 week ago with 2 year relationship boy friend. He didn’t break me up officially. But when i know he had another girl friend. I messed up and angry with him . I broke him first. Then, I can’t. I cried and begged him not to leave me. He blocked me everywhere. Then , I started to decide to do NC rule. At that night, he called me via ph and asked me to live better without him. If ok one day, he will come back or I can search new one. Then, he blocked me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Im sorry, did you mean he’s cheating on you? restart the no contact rule and stick to at least 30 days.. improve yourself and be active in posting

Sara
Guest
Hello.. I broke up 1 week ago with 2 year relationship boy friend. He didn’t break me up officially. But when i know he had another girl friend. I messed up and angry with him . I broke him first. Then, I can’t. I cried and begged him not to leave me. He blocked me everywhere. Then , I started to decide to do NC rule. At that night, he called me via ph and asked me to live better without him. If ok one day, he will come back or I can search new one. Then, he blocked me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Im sorry, did you mean he’s cheating on you? restart the no contact rule and stick to at least 30 days.. improve yourself and be active in posting

Dori
Guest

Hi, it’s been a month that I broke up with bf of nearly 2 years. Currently I’m doing NC. We were still friends on fb. He kept Travelling & posting a lot of photos. He seldomly liked my posts. Comment under my comments on our mutual friends photo. He is not contacting me directly but sometimes send texts through our group chats with common friends. Does it mean he miss me or want me back? I’m making myself strong, not to contact or reply him even in group chats.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yeah, it can mean he misses you.

Dori
Guest

Hi, it’s been a month that I broke up with bf of nearly 2 years. Currently I’m doing NC. We were still friends on fb. He kept Travelling & posting a lot of photos. He seldomly liked my posts. Comment under my comments on our mutual friends photo. He is not contacting me directly but sometimes send texts through our group chats with common friends. Does it mean he miss me or want me back? I’m making myself strong, not to contact or reply him even in group chats.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yeah, it can mean he misses you.

T
Guest

How should I handle it if his first time reaching out is in my last week of NC and he’s asking if I’d like some of my stuff back? I guess I do, but the items aren’t that important. Would it be best to respond after NC and arrange to trade?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi T,

yes, respond and trade after nc..

T
Guest

I did that and then he blew me off at the last minute. Should I restart a new NC?

T
Guest

I mean blew off as in we had plans to meet up and trade and then at the last minute he said something came up and he could just drop my thing off (I assume he means when I’m not there).

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

hmmm.. I think just do a mini nc of two weeks

T
Guest

How should I handle it if his first time reaching out is in my last week of NC and he’s asking if I’d like some of my stuff back? I guess I do, but the items aren’t that important. Would it be best to respond after NC and arrange to trade?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi T,

yes, respond and trade after nc..

T
Guest

I did that and then he blew me off at the last minute. Should I restart a new NC?

T
Guest

I mean blew off as in we had plans to meet up and trade and then at the last minute he said something came up and he could just drop my thing off (I assume he means when I’m not there).

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

hmmm.. I think just do a mini nc of two weeks

Joan
Guest
My ex and I have been broken up for years now. We talk regularly. Like on daily bases. I want him back, but he says he has a girlfriend. But sometimes I feel he’s lying. Once I started a no contact, suddenly. His best friends starts chatting me up for no reason. Then I had to call him. I don’t know how to handle this guy. He says he’d be fine if we are just friends, and then if I start talking to him like a friend he gets upset. For example, he says he never wants to hear me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Joan,

so what’s your decision now? Are you going to move on or try a full nc first?

Joan
Guest
My ex and I have been broken up for years now. We talk regularly. Like on daily bases. I want him back, but he says he has a girlfriend. But sometimes I feel he’s lying. Once I started a no contact, suddenly. His best friends starts chatting me up for no reason. Then I had to call him. I don’t know how to handle this guy. He says he’d be fine if we are just friends, and then if I start talking to him like a friend he gets upset. For example, he says he never wants to hear me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Joan,

so what’s your decision now? Are you going to move on or try a full nc first?

Esmee
Guest
We broke up 6 weeks ago and he wanted to be friends. I found this site, So i started no contact 3 weeks ago but bumped into him 3 days in and had a convo about how we cant be friends. He did the things you said, i kept up ignoring him for 3 days but he called 7 times in one night while i was asleep. Unheard of so i answered the next day. He just wanted to hear that we are done completely. I couldnt say that and he ended the convo that he likes his no expectations.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Esmee

dont tell him that you’re doing the no contact rule and that you’re going to talk to him after a certain time..right now he just wants to friendzone you, so it’s better to restart the no contact period, stick to it and be very active in improving yourself and in posting in social media…

Esmee
Guest

Ive never been very active on social media and he removed me from all of them. The stuff i was active with was always private… he showed up at lunch after these messages and acted like i didnt even exist. I tried to be positive but just kept up normal convo with the group of girls. Now has dissapeared again. I feel like hes just too stubborn to be willing to admit anything or try again
It was a rough end because i was so confused.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

you have to restart the count and to start being active and to make your posts public because that’s your indirect way of showing you’re “moving on”

Esmee
Guest
We broke up 6 weeks ago and he wanted to be friends. I found this site, So i started no contact 3 weeks ago but bumped into him 3 days in and had a convo about how we cant be friends. He did the things you said, i kept up ignoring him for 3 days but he called 7 times in one night while i was asleep. Unheard of so i answered the next day. He just wanted to hear that we are done completely. I couldnt say that and he ended the convo that he likes his no expectations.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Esmee

dont tell him that you’re doing the no contact rule and that you’re going to talk to him after a certain time..right now he just wants to friendzone you, so it’s better to restart the no contact period, stick to it and be very active in improving yourself and in posting in social media…

Esmee
Guest

Ive never been very active on social media and he removed me from all of them. The stuff i was active with was always private… he showed up at lunch after these messages and acted like i didnt even exist. I tried to be positive but just kept up normal convo with the group of girls. Now has dissapeared again. I feel like hes just too stubborn to be willing to admit anything or try again
It was a rough end because i was so confused.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

you have to restart the count and to start being active and to make your posts public because that’s your indirect way of showing you’re “moving on”

Elol89
Guest
Okay so my bf of 6 months broke up w me. He said it was for no reason and I belive it because I know when he is trying to hide something. Anyways I wasn’t very sad about it, but rather positive because we were going to stay friends. I went out with him the other day and I was pshisically a little distant from him wich bothered him a lot but I smiled and really enjoyed it always talkin and being myself. He on the other hand, was really sad. It was and it is hard to understand it… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Elol89,

maybe the relationship got boring for him and he fell out of love, or he doesn’t feel that desire and attraction anymore. Yeah, he misses you, because that’s what he’s used to do, to talk to you. But right now, if you’re going to stay to talk, you’ll be friendzoned. Do you want to try the no contact rule?

Elol89
Guest
Okay so my bf of 6 months broke up w me. He said it was for no reason and I belive it because I know when he is trying to hide something. Anyways I wasn’t very sad about it, but rather positive because we were going to stay friends. I went out with him the other day and I was pshisically a little distant from him wich bothered him a lot but I smiled and really enjoyed it always talkin and being myself. He on the other hand, was really sad. It was and it is hard to understand it… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Elol89,

maybe the relationship got boring for him and he fell out of love, or he doesn’t feel that desire and attraction anymore. Yeah, he misses you, because that’s what he’s used to do, to talk to you. But right now, if you’re going to stay to talk, you’ll be friendzoned. Do you want to try the no contact rule?

Blue
Guest
I already wrote about my situation in another thread. So, my long time & long distance boyfriend called off our date almost 3 months ago. We never argued & he never officially broke with me. I know he did it because he lost his job & wasn’t able afford dating especially that he liked to pay for everything. I tried NC & I did well. He never contacted me during NC. I initiated contact via emails, he answered. We had several email exchanges since NC ended over month ago. I always initiated contact. Mostly he answers me, sometimes he does… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Blue

He probably misses you.. but if he’s really set in fixing his life first, I think you should move on.. it’s been month of trying to build rapport.. it should have moved to calls from emails or atleast to texts..

Blue
Guest
I already wrote about my situation in another thread. So, my long time & long distance boyfriend called off our date almost 3 months ago. We never argued & he never officially broke with me. I know he did it because he lost his job & wasn’t able afford dating especially that he liked to pay for everything. I tried NC & I did well. He never contacted me during NC. I initiated contact via emails, he answered. We had several email exchanges since NC ended over month ago. I always initiated contact. Mostly he answers me, sometimes he does… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Blue

He probably misses you.. but if he’s really set in fixing his life first, I think you should move on.. it’s been month of trying to build rapport.. it should have moved to calls from emails or atleast to texts..

Cara
Guest
THANK YOU CHRIS AND AMOR!! I’m so happy and confused at to how to reply to my exes text. I just got an apology text from him as we haven’t communicated for the past 6 months but i know he has been diligently watching my facebook the entire time. First, I have been patiently following all the methods in EBR and I’ve written in many many times describing my situation. I have worked on becoming the ungettable girl as much as possible and followed most of Chris advice. I have been at my wit’s end as our NO contact has… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Cara,

maybe valentines day made him look at your message again and made him think. For me, that’s a good move. Thank and then ask a question. You would only really know what his true intention is, once you get to talk to him more.

Cara
Guest
THANK YOU CHRIS AND AMOR!! I’m so happy and confused at to how to reply to my exes text. I just got an apology text from him as we haven’t communicated for the past 6 months but i know he has been diligently watching my facebook the entire time. First, I have been patiently following all the methods in EBR and I’ve written in many many times describing my situation. I have worked on becoming the ungettable girl as much as possible and followed most of Chris advice. I have been at my wit’s end as our NO contact has… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Cara,

maybe valentines day made him look at your message again and made him think. For me, that’s a good move. Thank and then ask a question. You would only really know what his true intention is, once you get to talk to him more.

Amanda
Guest
Sorry…lost my previous comment…So I messaged him and a called him since the 5 days since his message that he was cancelling our date and taking time to think. We had had a fight 🙁 He completely ignored me since then. He read some of my messages or at least WhatsApp showed it was read. He read the messages right after I sent some of them, plus logged onto Tinder right when I sent a message thru it to him. Don’t know if that means anything, or necessarily that he actually read them. He didn’t block or delete me tho…… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Amanda,

i dont see any previous post, or did you use a different email add? or this is your first time to comment? do you mean you’re just about to do nc?

Lexie
Guest

So the new guy I met is no longer an option. I still love my ex and I am trying to rebuild our friendship. I am not giving up on him through because I know he likes me. He just needs to trust me again. How do I show him he can trust me and free safe with me again? We still talk but there is tension between us.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Just know that building rapport and trust takes time.. Especially trust. So, before trust, build rapport first. Just keep taking and avoid doing the things that made him lose trust in you.

Amanda
Guest
Sorry…lost my previous comment…So I messaged him and a called him since the 5 days since his message that he was cancelling our date and taking time to think. We had had a fight 🙁 He completely ignored me since then. He read some of my messages or at least WhatsApp showed it was read. He read the messages right after I sent some of them, plus logged onto Tinder right when I sent a message thru it to him. Don’t know if that means anything, or necessarily that he actually read them. He didn’t block or delete me tho…… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Amanda,

i dont see any previous post, or did you use a different email add? or this is your first time to comment? do you mean you’re just about to do nc?

Lexie
Guest

So the new guy I met is no longer an option. I still love my ex and I am trying to rebuild our friendship. I am not giving up on him through because I know he likes me. He just needs to trust me again. How do I show him he can trust me and free safe with me again? We still talk but there is tension between us.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Just know that building rapport and trust takes time.. Especially trust. So, before trust, build rapport first. Just keep taking and avoid doing the things that made him lose trust in you.

Lexie
Guest
Hi Amor. I can’t find my last post but to recap. My ex never asked me out on a date because he said he is not ready for a relationship. We both like either and he treated me like his girlfriend. I told my ex that I want space. He was mad at first and ignored me.l. Its been close 3 weeks since I started the no contact. We work together so we have to have to be friendly but I have been keep him at a distance and keeping it professional. The last couple of days, he has been… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lexie,

nope.. yoi shouldn’t social media stalk him.. it’s working that you’re ignoring him because he’s trying to flirt but you have to be focused in moving on without totally moving on, in having your own life.
howanu new activities have you done in the past amd how many new people did you meet?

Lexie
Guest

I will stop stalking him on social media and start to get involved in new activities. Was it a bad move for not sending him a friend request on my new social media account? I added our mutual friends so I’m sure he feels shut out. Meanwhile, I still post on the account he is on.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

no, that’s ok! it would be better to add him once you’ve built rapport already

Lexie
Guest

Today I complimented him of his achievement. He was very happy about that and we had a good chat. He asked how are things with me and I told him that we need to talk. We were both happy to be speaking again. Did I break the no contact rule by telling him we need to talk?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it was actually already broken when you complimented him..

Lexie
Guest
Thanks Amor for your help. I had a chat face to face with him to find out exactly how he feels and if he is interested. He could hardly look me in the eyes but I made him tell me that he does not want me. So he says for now he is not interested. He says he sees me as a friend and he knows I am ready to tie the knot. He even said he don’t know if he can trust me as a friend anymore because of the emotional Rollercoaster of put his on with the no… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

ok Lexie.. I agree you should move on because that’s a big thing to disagree on

Lexie
Guest

My ex and I are also texting again. I sent him the first text since the no contact and he seemed excited. I asked him to do something for me so he will get back to me with his thoughts on that project.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Just know that building rapport and trust takes time.. Especially trust. So, before trust, build rapport first. Just keep taking and avoid doing the things that made him lose trust in you.

Lexie
Guest
So we became friends again and gained his trust but I noticed he started to flirt with other people. He shows interest in me and says he is not ready for a relationship with me because he knows I am looking for a serious marriage minded relationship. He still stares but does nothing about it. I found out from reliable source that he slept with another coworker last year and they may still be sleeping together. Btw we never slept together and he never made a move because he respects me. He tells me that I am classy and amazing.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yeah, I agree that you should move on because you don’t have the same priorities as of now.

Lexie
Guest
Hey Armor! So its been 3 months since I had no contact with my ex outside of work. It was hard at first because we work closely together on several projects. The tension was obvious but I tried to keep things professional. I was so hurt by the break up and I felt even worse because I cursed him out for everything he put me through. I was very mean to him and I pretty much made him feel emasculated out of anger. I know I hurt him even more than he hurt me. This made me think that he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

so, what’s your plan now? For me, if he’s like that I would give him more space because I wouldn’t reward negative behaviour

Lexie
Guest
Hi Amor. I can’t find my last post but to recap. My ex never asked me out on a date because he said he is not ready for a relationship. We both like either and he treated me like his girlfriend. I told my ex that I want space. He was mad at first and ignored me.l. Its been close 3 weeks since I started the no contact. We work together so we have to have to be friendly but I have been keep him at a distance and keeping it professional. The last couple of days, he has been… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lexie,

nope.. yoi shouldn’t social media stalk him.. it’s working that you’re ignoring him because he’s trying to flirt but you have to be focused in moving on without totally moving on, in having your own life.
howanu new activities have you done in the past amd how many new people did you meet?

Lexie
Guest

I will stop stalking him on social media and start to get involved in new activities. Was it a bad move for not sending him a friend request on my new social media account? I added our mutual friends so I’m sure he feels shut out. Meanwhile, I still post on the account he is on.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

no, that’s ok! it would be better to add him once you’ve built rapport already

Lexie
Guest

Today I complimented him of his achievement. He was very happy about that and we had a good chat. He asked how are things with me and I told him that we need to talk. We were both happy to be speaking again. Did I break the no contact rule by telling him we need to talk?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it was actually already broken when you complimented him..

Lexie
Guest
Thanks Amor for your help. I had a chat face to face with him to find out exactly how he feels and if he is interested. He could hardly look me in the eyes but I made him tell me that he does not want me. So he says for now he is not interested. He says he sees me as a friend and he knows I am ready to tie the knot. He even said he don’t know if he can trust me as a friend anymore because of the emotional Rollercoaster of put his on with the no… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

ok Lexie.. I agree you should move on because that’s a big thing to disagree on

Lexie
Guest

My ex and I are also texting again. I sent him the first text since the no contact and he seemed excited. I asked him to do something for me so he will get back to me with his thoughts on that project.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Just know that building rapport and trust takes time.. Especially trust. So, before trust, build rapport first. Just keep taking and avoid doing the things that made him lose trust in you.

Lexie
Guest
So we became friends again and gained his trust but I noticed he started to flirt with other people. He shows interest in me and says he is not ready for a relationship with me because he knows I am looking for a serious marriage minded relationship. He still stares but does nothing about it. I found out from reliable source that he slept with another coworker last year and they may still be sleeping together. Btw we never slept together and he never made a move because he respects me. He tells me that I am classy and amazing.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yeah, I agree that you should move on because you don’t have the same priorities as of now.

Lexie
Guest
Hey Armor! So its been 3 months since I had no contact with my ex outside of work. It was hard at first because we work closely together on several projects. The tension was obvious but I tried to keep things professional. I was so hurt by the break up and I felt even worse because I cursed him out for everything he put me through. I was very mean to him and I pretty much made him feel emasculated out of anger. I know I hurt him even more than he hurt me. This made me think that he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

so, what’s your plan now? For me, if he’s like that I would give him more space because I wouldn’t reward negative behaviour

Karen
Guest
My long-distance bf of 14 months broke up with me 4 months ago, basically because we both had too much stress & were taking it out on each other. At first we took a NC break for about 3 weeks, and then he ended it because he said he fell out of love with me during the break, but he said that he still loved me as a friend and wanted to stay in my life. After a couple weeks of trying to just be his friend, I did NC for about 2-3 weeks (not part of your ‘program’, I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Karen,

it looks like he friendzoned you.. yes, you did a lot of ncs, so there’s less chance of it working for you now but how much did you change during and after those nc? How much did you improve? And I think you need to date others this time because there’s a chance you already come across as someone who’s just always there

Karen
Guest
My long-distance bf of 14 months broke up with me 4 months ago, basically because we both had too much stress & were taking it out on each other. At first we took a NC break for about 3 weeks, and then he ended it because he said he fell out of love with me during the break, but he said that he still loved me as a friend and wanted to stay in my life. After a couple weeks of trying to just be his friend, I did NC for about 2-3 weeks (not part of your ‘program’, I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Karen,

it looks like he friendzoned you.. yes, you did a lot of ncs, so there’s less chance of it working for you now but how much did you change during and after those nc? How much did you improve? And I think you need to date others this time because there’s a chance you already come across as someone who’s just always there

Molly
Guest
Well my bf and I, is in a rocky position. He wants to break up but one of his friend somehow fix it but he is distance from me. On the other hand I didn’t talk to him for two days and he was really mad at me because I ignored him and went out having fun. So he told me you are better off without me. I don’t see that you aren’t capable of living without me. So then he said I am giving you another chance but he is not getting close or anything he is acting distance.… Read more »
Molly
Guest
Well my bf and I, is in a rocky position. He wants to break up but one of his friend somehow fix it but he is distance from me. On the other hand I didn’t talk to him for two days and he was really mad at me because I ignored him and went out having fun. So he told me you are better off without me. I don’t see that you aren’t capable of living without me. So then he said I am giving you another chance but he is not getting close or anything he is acting distance.… Read more »
Lou
Guest

Hi been with my man for 8months we had laughs ad fun but he went quiet this 2 weeks and came round bust into tears ad said he doesn’t know if he just wants to be friends he wants time and he still care’s for me I asked him if there is anyone else but definitely not
He has problem’s down below but that was before me and I’ve always support him…
I just don’t know how to play this because I do want do be with him
Any advise please

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lou,

you mean he broke up with you? or just a break?

Lou
Guest

Hi been with my man for 8months we had laughs ad fun but he went quiet this 2 weeks and came round bust into tears ad said he doesn’t know if he just wants to be friends he wants time and he still care’s for me I asked him if there is anyone else but definitely not
He has problem’s down below but that was before me and I’ve always support him…
I just don’t know how to play this because I do want do be with him
Any advise please

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lou,

you mean he broke up with you? or just a break?

Amy
Guest
Hi Amor. I’ve been following this site for about 9 months after my boyfriend and I broke up nearly a year ago. He has had a few, short relationships since then and a few weeks ago, after being on/off friends (after 6 months of nc), he admitted to me he still thought of me, he missed me A LOT. However, all this only came out after his gf of a month broke up with him. Due to this, I have some suspicion as to whether I am a rebound or not. Now, he has had a history of drugs and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Amy,

first, don’t sleep with him.. Check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

Amy
Guest

Hi again Amor.

I checked the link and from what the article says, I’m leaning more towards the possibility that I am not a rebound. However, I do agree in changing something within our relationship in order to make it work and I know for a fact that that’ll have to be him changing his life around, getting a job, quitting weed etc. But I remember reading how ultimatums turn guys off completely, so how do I get this across to him without seeming controlling? Thanks again x

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

you really have to talk on what makes you uncomfortable and if he still does it, walk away.

june
Guest
Hi, My ex and I broke up a year ago because after 4 years the honeymoon was over and we felt the distance wasn’t worth it while we’re both studying thousand miles away from each other. After a few months of NC, we met again with mutual friends in our home town and really connected again, but we decided not to start a relationship again and just stay friends. I don’t know if he’s just being friendly but he often writes to me, likes my Facebook photos, asks what I’ve done during the week, sends memes screenshots. He also sent… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi June,

I think you’re friendzoned.. And this is not to sound all knowing ok? The honeymoon period doesn’t last 4 years, it ended before the relationship ended and then you entered a comfortable phase with each other. But I think what you meant is that he lost attraction and desire..

June
Guest

I’ m a bit confused: it makes sense that he lost attraction and desire, but he also often tells me how beautiful I look but says he doesn’t love me anymore. When we were in our home town, he kissed me a few times but we were drunk so I don’t know how to interpret it.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that probably means he sees your physical improvement but he knows you’re still the old person he knows

June
Guest

We both change in a year, but it’s like he thinks he knows everything about me, but he just knows the ‘year ago me’. How can I get him to know who I am now without sounding like I brag about who I’ve become ?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

dont be like before.. if you’re nit the same girl he knows, dont act the same way as before..that means dont make it easy for him.
be friendly but dont be too available

Amy
Guest
Hi Amor. I’ve been following this site for about 9 months after my boyfriend and I broke up nearly a year ago. He has had a few, short relationships since then and a few weeks ago, after being on/off friends (after 6 months of nc), he admitted to me he still thought of me, he missed me A LOT. However, all this only came out after his gf of a month broke up with him. Due to this, I have some suspicion as to whether I am a rebound or not. Now, he has had a history of drugs and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Amy,

first, don’t sleep with him.. Check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

Amy
Guest

Hi again Amor.

I checked the link and from what the article says, I’m leaning more towards the possibility that I am not a rebound. However, I do agree in changing something within our relationship in order to make it work and I know for a fact that that’ll have to be him changing his life around, getting a job, quitting weed etc. But I remember reading how ultimatums turn guys off completely, so how do I get this across to him without seeming controlling? Thanks again x

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

you really have to talk on what makes you uncomfortable and if he still does it, walk away.

june
Guest
Hi, My ex and I broke up a year ago because after 4 years the honeymoon was over and we felt the distance wasn’t worth it while we’re both studying thousand miles away from each other. After a few months of NC, we met again with mutual friends in our home town and really connected again, but we decided not to start a relationship again and just stay friends. I don’t know if he’s just being friendly but he often writes to me, likes my Facebook photos, asks what I’ve done during the week, sends memes screenshots. He also sent… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi June,

I think you’re friendzoned.. And this is not to sound all knowing ok? The honeymoon period doesn’t last 4 years, it ended before the relationship ended and then you entered a comfortable phase with each other. But I think what you meant is that he lost attraction and desire..

June
Guest

I’ m a bit confused: it makes sense that he lost attraction and desire, but he also often tells me how beautiful I look but says he doesn’t love me anymore. When we were in our home town, he kissed me a few times but we were drunk so I don’t know how to interpret it.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that probably means he sees your physical improvement but he knows you’re still the old person he knows

June
Guest

We both change in a year, but it’s like he thinks he knows everything about me, but he just knows the ‘year ago me’. How can I get him to know who I am now without sounding like I brag about who I’ve become ?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

dont be like before.. if you’re nit the same girl he knows, dont act the same way as before..that means dont make it easy for him.
be friendly but dont be too available

Unknown
Guest
The current situation is that me and my boyfriend broke up last summer after dating for 9 months. After separating for 2 and a half months, we both had self improved and decided to give things another shot in September. We had the best relationship, not arguing at all really, always happy, spending time together and telling each other how happy we were being back together. Last weekend, he broke up with me because he said he had a lot of stuff happening and that he needs to focus on himself and find himself. We had a very emotional break… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Unknown,

I think there is still a chance especially if he’s just stressed..

Unknown
Guest

Thank you so much for responding, it means everything to me. What would you suggest that I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome! Be active during the no contact rule. If he sees you have your own life and that you have improved, he might regret the break up and see that you’re not an added responsibility.

Unknown
Guest

Thank you so much once again for responding to me, you’ve really helped me clear my head. I’ve been doing No Contact since Monday and will continue to do so. I decided to not be active initially, so to disappear for a little bit to give me a few days to clear my head and also disappear from him too. However, from tomorrow onward, i’m going to start being more active gradually uploading some pictures, changing my profile picture, uploading snap chat stories etc…. Is there anymore advice you can offer me?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

just enjoy..it will be hard, but overthink..just remind yourself that it’s a process..

Unknown
Guest
Hi there, I’m on day nine of the NC Rule, I have a few other questions. When the break up occurred, along with everything else that happened as I previously discussed, he said that he doesn’t know if wants a girlfriend right now and that he doesn’t know with the place that he is in whether he can fully love me. He also said that us getting back together before was us trying again. However, we were literally both so unbelievable happy as I previously said and there were no issues between us, could the problems he is facing along… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yes, it’s a possiblity..

Unknown
Guest
Hi there, I had successfully been doing NC for two weeks and being active on social media. I went out on Friday night and because of this my friend posted some pictures of us out together with some of our mates on Instagram, following this I saw that my ex unfollowed both myself and our mutual friend. I got really upset as i’ve been struggling with the no contact the last week, never caved but i’ve been finding it difficult to focus on myself, as I also have loads of other stuff going on in my life. I decided to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Oh, too bad.. actually that could be a good sign because it shows he’s still affected.. just restart the count of nc..

Unknown
Guest
Hi there, I’m on two weeks on NC and he hasn’t messaged me, reached out to me or anything like that. He is still unfollowing me on insta and also he avoids my watching my snapchat stories as it shows you who views them. Is this a sign that it still bothers him to see me and that he misses me? Also my friend ask about me to him and he said that he just isn’t ready to commit right now as he needs to focus on himself with everything going on, as I previously stated, I’ve been self improving,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yes, it can still be a good sign that he’s checking your snaps, means he’s still curious.. That’s ok if he doesn’t message you during nc.. A lot of the girls experience that. You can still initiate contact after nc. Focus in improving yourself because whether or not he’s got a rebound, he has to see you better than your old self.

Unknown
Guest
Hi there once again, Thanks so much for all your advice, I once again have another update. Today I saw my ex boyfriend update his profile picture and it is clearly someone taking it of him, I didn’t like it or anything like that and just proceeded with my day. Later on that evening I saw that he had removed me off FB. Its been a month and a half since we broke up and i’m two weeks into NC. Two weeks ago, he unfollowed me off instagram and I didn’t unfollow him but today after he unfriended me, I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

no need to extend, he probably did that to see if you would react.. to see if you’re still checking the online connection.

Unknown
Guest
Hi there, Thank you for all your responses. I do agree I think a) he is almost playing a bit of a game and b) its too tough for him to look at my pictures because i’ve been actively posting, not over doing it but changing my profile picture, posting pics of nights out. Anyway, last night I went out and put up a picture of me and my two friends. He looked at it this morning and removed me off there also. So now he has unfriended me off FB, removed me off Snapchat and unfollowed me off Instagram,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

believe me, he’ll keep checking if he’s that affected.

Unknown
Guest

Hi there,
Thanks ever so much for responding to all these questions! I’ll keep actively posting as I usually do and see how that goes. My NC comes to an end next Sunday, should I still text him even though hes unfriended me off most social media sites? I just don’t want to message him too soon and him not to respond?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome! It’s ok to extend a little bit more if you’re uncomfortable and if he still hasn’t cooled down.

Unknown
Guest
Yeh I think i’ll see how I feel on the Sunday and potentially extend by one more week. The thing is, yesterday he removed me off Twitter now, so hes removed me off all social media. I just feel like the timing is weird, like if you wanted to remove me off social media, just do it all at once, why would he unfollow me, wait two weeks and then day by day remove me off the rest? I feel like he is trying to get my attention almost, see how I react but I don’t understand because he is… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s a high possibility.. that can be his way because of his ego.. So, yeah, there is a chance that he will reply once you initiate.

Unknown
Guest

Hi there,
My NC finished on Sunday however, last Friday I had sex with someone else, I went on a night out, got a bit drunk and it went from there. I know i’m perfectly in my right to do so as I’m single and my ex could do so too if he really wanted. I’m not sure what to do in terms of initiating NC as I still want him back but I feel like its a bit different now that I’ve slept with someone else.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it’s still the same procedure of slowly building up rapport.. if you want to be honest with him, I think reserve that for the meet up stage because it’s better to do it person..

Unknown
Guest
Hi, So the update is that I sent the first text today after a NC period of about a month and one week, i kept it brief, brought up an old memory that we shared and how it made me think of him, nothing too intense, however, he hasn’t responded. I spoke to a mutual friend of ours and said i was feeling a bit rubbish because I messaged him and he didn’t respond and he said hes distancing himself because he still needs time, whether he just knows this or my ex mentioned that to him I don’t know,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

wait for a week before initiating again of he doesn’t reply…dont talk to his friend about that because that probably reaches him..

Unknown
Guest
Hi there, I need your advice as i’m not sure what to do. So i’ve been keeping you updated since we broke up in January, and I expressed that this is the second time we have broken up. I did you suggested and completed NC, he didn’t respond, I waited the appropriate time for after the NC period (i.e wait a week, contact, wait two weeks, contact) and he hasn’t responded even though he saw them. The message I sent was a few weeks ago. I’m not sure what to do, I know there is still a part of him… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You’ve initiated texts twice, that means you’re open to talking but he didn’t reply.. It more likely means he really wants you to move on and not to get your hopes up by not replying to you..