By EBR Team Member: Ashley

I imagine you arrived here because you are looking to learn more about the subtle signs that your ex boyfriend misses you.

You are probably hoping for some sign that will signal, “honey I want you back” or “will you take me back”.  Because after all, before you put yourself out there, you want to see some signs that your ex boyfriend is not over you, that he cares, and that is not just some impulsive action.

I mean, you already have been hurt once.  And you sure aren’t going to walk the plank of ex recovery without seeing clues that your ex boyfriend truly misses you and is signaling in various ways, “I want you back”.

How will you ever know that your ex boyfriend is over you and that the two of you have reached the finished line?   The breakup gods are not handing out any ex back prizes unless you can learn to read and interpret the many signs and cues that your ex might unknowingly reveal. Sometimes these clues are revealed when your are in the midst of the No Contat period.

Remember though to look at the entire picture of what he is doing and saying.

You can talk to yourself until you are blue in the face, but until you have some sure signs that your ex is not over you, that he is not throwing in the towel, you really should avoid deluding yourself.

But I am determined to help you!

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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What Are The Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Still Cares About You And Might Want You Back?

To understand how to read the clues that your ex boyfriend can’t get over you and will come back, it’s best to go back to the beginning for just a moment.

“What!”, you might exclaim, “can’t we just figure out if my ex still has feelings for me and we have a chance!”   I promise,  I am going to get you there.

But first, let’s go to a familiar place that might give you some warm fuzzy feelings.

In The Beginning You Both Always Missed Each Other!

Let’s start first with the beginning in mind.  That time when you both first met and fell in love.  Back then, missing each other took on an intense feeling when the two of you parted even briefly.

Those sweet memories of the first moments makes it seem impossible you would be now facing this breakup horror show.

It always starts off the same. Eyes met. Flirty things were said. Numbers were exchanged.  All of these telltale signs point to a romance is blossoming.

Then came the first date, complete with awkward conversation, several bouts of awkward silence, maybe some hand-holding and possibly a kiss… or two.  Again, more signals that your boyfriend has feelings for you.

Don’t You Dare Throw in The Towel After What You Have Been Through With Your Ex Bf

Let’s be honest, reading each other’s body language for clues as to what you both wanted were probably awkward for the two of you, but now they are imprinted in your mind.  At the end of the night, when he leaves, he misses you and you miss him terribly.  He wants you and it is so obvious.

Parting is bitter and sweet. You don’t even question it as every conceivable sign is screaming, I want you.  Indeed, things probably went so well that it progressed into date two and three, maybe even a few double dates.

Eventually the two of you decide to make it official. Or as my younger friends like to call it, “Facebook Offish.”

Things were great… until they weren’t anymore.

Something happened.

He said some things.

You said some things.

Insults were tossed around like teenagers at an EDM festival.

And in the end, you went your separate ways.

And that’s it. It just ends there, right? You go about life and your ex moves on with his. I mean isn’t that how it goes?


I mean, as human beings, it is in our nature to read into every little thing  people do around us. But this breakup stuff can get complicated trying decipher what your ex boyfriend really means and what he wants.

So, first of all, if you are wondering if your ex misses you and what you should look for that will answer once and for all how to know if your ex boyfriend is completely over you, you have come to the right place!

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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 21 Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You and Wants You Back!

Well, it’s a safe bet that your ex boyfriend misses some things. I mean whether you were together for three weeks or three years, there had to be a reason why you were together in the first place. I mean you don’t spend that much time with someone without enjoying their company. Even if you said the worst thing ever to him when you split, I promise he’s missing at least one part of your relationship and probably a lot more.

That’s just how things work. If you had a best friend and then suddenly you stopped hanging out together, there would be something missing suddenly from your life.

So what you are looking for are clues.  Signs that he wants you back, but is scared, could be one of them.  That is revealed by certain things your ex boyfriend may or may not say or do.  You should also be  looking for signs that he wants you back but won’t admit it.  That could be pride talking in him.

You are probably also looking for what to say and do when your ex boyfriend wants you back.  When that becomes clear, when you put all the clues together and arrive at a conclusion, you will want to have a plan that will help bring you both closer.

So if it’s absolutely driving you crazy, and you’re wondering if the severity with which your ex misses you can be gauged by looking at his actions, I can help clear that up.  Let’s go over each of these 21 signs that he has not give up on you.

Sign 1:  Pay Attention To The Way Your Ex Boyfriend Communicates With You

After a breakup, it’s usual for the people involved to go their separate ways. However, aside from situations where kids or intertwined groups of friends are involved, a couple will also go off into their separate corners, but only to come out fighting later.  But sometimes there are clues in what looks like hostility from the outside.

Blatantly fighting to keep the connection alive between the two of you is not a rare signal that he might be missing you and what the two of you had together. Sometimes simply holding on and arguing around the edges is a sign that you both care enough to invest your passion.

Your Ex Bf Is Often Initiating The Contact

First of all, there’s the way he stays in contact and the fact that he initiates contact. It may be that your ex is just itching to get back with you and he shows his hand by the way he talks to you.

Pay Attention to the WAY He Communicates With You.

If he fights with everything he has to stay on your radar, but then fights to keep the conversation alive by talking about cheese or something equally boring, it’s likely that he just isn’t ready to let go of the relationship yet. Although if you’re a cheese enthusiast or a Packers fan, the cheese conversation probably wouldn’t be such a flag.

Another sign is the conversations you two have aren’t just conversations. Rather they may reveal a tell-tale nervousness, much like the way you would speak to someone you have a crush on, talking to fast, saying things that later you would kick yourself for.  Is he behaving in this way? A little excitable?  He might also act out of character in other ways.

Sign 2: Can You Believe He Is Now Calling You?

Well, seeing as no one really even makes actual phone calls any more, if you are getting phone calls, take notice.  The fact that he calls you at all is a pretty good sign that he’s holding a flame. Although, if calling you was a normal thing when you were together, then it is possible that he’s just doing it out of habit. If it’s messing with your No Contact or if it’s something that bothers you, either way it’s your prerogative to decide if you wish to take the call.

If you ex bf is getting a bit antsy, then don’t put it past him to make that phone call. He may get creative.  He might declare the phone call was an accidental bump, “but while I have you on the line…”.  Your ex boyfriend may miss you so much and be fearful that you have taken up with some other guy, he might call you at all hours of the night.

He may be so desperate to have you again that he will get someone else to do his bidding and call and check up on you. Then we have these guys who showcase all the signs of wanting you back but won’t admit it.

So in this case, the call could be all about some work situation or if you want your clothes back.  Trust me, if he calls about that, he is interested more than he is saying, otherwise you would have gotten a text!

Sign 3: Your Ex Boyfriend May Miss You So Much He Will Bombard You With Texts

This is similar to the phone calls. It may be something he’s doing out of habit, but if he continually is finding excuses to text you and it goes on past a month or so, then it is very possible that he’s trying to keep that connection alive.

Often you can judge whether your ex boyfriend’s texting habit is a subtle or sure sign that he wants you back by the time and quality of the texts.  If the messages are coming fast and loose, then he is probably obsessing, acting impulsively.  And that is not all bad as it shows your ex is thinking of you a whole lot.

What you would rather get are these higher quality, positive oriented text messages, periodically checking in with you. That points to your ex wanting to exploit a potential connection and meet up with you.

So as with all forms of communication when you are engaged in your no contact period,  it would be up to you to decide if whether you should  encourage this behavior or not.

Sign 4:  Are You Getting Drunk Phone Calls and Texts From Your Ex Bf

You know how pretty much the entire world makes jokes about drunk texts. Heck, I think there’s a whole website dedicated to drunk texts from the ex or something.

But the truth is, I really love drunk texts. There’s this old saying, “In Vino Veritas.” I mean, of course it’s old. It’s in Latin! It means “In wine, truth.” If there’s ever something you think someone’s withholding, your best bet is to pour a little alcohol on it… like a wound.

These drunk phone calls and texts might come at any moment, unexpectedly, usually at two or three in the morning, complete with slurred words and confessions of one sort or another.

I think the reason I enjoy them so much is because they can make the deciphering process so much easier.

It’s like Cinderella. For one moment, with the help of a copious amounts of alcohol, he’s completely transformed into someone who says what he’s thinking, even if it’s just a text that says


or worse,

“it’s cold, I wish you were here to snuggle.”

For some reason guys think if they’re vulnerable, our mommy complexes will kick in and we’ll want to take care of them. Which is true for the most part when we like them and consider them ours to take care of.)

Sign 5:  He Actually Keeps Telling You Over and Over I Miss You

This one is the most direct. Although, when my ex inevitably does this with me every few months, it always comes out sound like “you know I miss you, right?”  There are dozens of ways he can profess how much he misses you and why he can’t get you out of his mind.

So once again, how you gauge this is a function of whether your ex boyfriend is just going way overboard with his insistence that he can’t get you out of his mind, which might suggest he is still dealing with the complex emotions of the breakup.

Or he may actually be sincerely delivering to you a surefire sign he needs you back.

In the former case, it’s the emotions talking because he repeats it too often.  In the latter case, your ex bf is stating it in a way that is unique and unusual.  Pay more attention to that sign.

Sign 6:  Your Ex Can’t Help Himself – He Has To Wish You Happy Birthday

A lot of you ask if it’s okay to reach out and say happy birthday, even if you’re almost done with a very difficult No Contact. I get it. It’s hard not to take every excuse to talk to someone you’re into. I really really do. But do you realize what drives you to do that?

You feel the need to stay connected, because you miss him. For guys it’s the very same thing, possibly even more so. Why? Well, unless your ex is notorious for remembering important dates or you two have known each other for, I don’t know, most of your lives, it’s unlikely he would reach out for any other reason.

So, unless you guys have mastered the art of the “let’s stay friends” situation, it’s safe to assume he actually is still carrying a torch for you and he misses you in ways that are far beyond just being a nice guy.

Sign 7: He Starts Reminiscing About Those Past Times When The Two of You Were a Couple

Another clue that your ex boyfriend can’t get you off his mind is when he brings up the past, a lot. This is how it works.  It is usually done so in conjunction with an,

“I miss you”

then comes a smattering of…

“You remember that time we…”

Then he starts talking about how things were wonderful in the past and all of your lovely personal traits and characteristics. Like the way you used to brush his hair out of his face or how you used to eat the cherries off his sundaes because he doesn’t like cherries.

These memories are meant to tug at your heart strings and make you remember the good times you had together. That’s his goal here, to make you miss the good times as much as he does.

Sign 8:  Your Ex Boyfriend Starts Mentioning Plans for the Future (With You)

Your ex bf may not stick to the past at all. He might try and make plans with you for the future. No, I’m not talking about settling down together, making a home, and having lots and lots of babies. That would be silly seeing as you two just broke up.

I’m saying he might try and lock you into some plan for the future. I had this one ex, a guy I had dumped for several great reasons, and after we split he kept trying to get me to go to concerts with him. Only he would ask me about 2 months in advance.

“Hey I got tickets to that band you really really love. They were on sale, but I got the last ones there were. So, I figured we could go together.”

Even if I didn’t have entirely good motives for breaking up with him, his planning that far in advance was out of character. He was fighting incredibly hard to keep that connection between us alive.

And I don’t care if it was my favorite band’s reunion tour and they’re never ever going to be playing together again. I had good reason for leaving him and if I really wanted to go, I would have bought my own tickets or I would have offered to buy them off of him.

There’s a moral issue, at least for me, in accepting gifts from someone you have no intention of getting back together with. If anything, it’s just cruel. Besides, he didn’t even like most of the bands he got tickets for.

Sign 9:  He Suddenly Answers Your Call or Provides a Quick Response To Your Text

Before, getting your boyfriend to pay attention to you was chore.  Well, if he is sorely missing you, guess what? He suddenly becomes the quickest dude alive.

So if you text him, for whatever reason (I’m assuming you’re done with any No Contact you’ve started if you’re texting him), he responds almost instantaneously. It’s almost as if your ex boyfriend is sitting with the phone in his hand hoping and preying you will call and has already rehearsed what he is going to say to you.

Talk about having a response prepared!

Sign 10: The Great Exchange

If you’ve fought every urge to see him and somehow avoided all of his advances he’ll do the last ditch effort thing and offer to return your belongings. Now, sometimes, it’s just because he’s sick of seeing your stuff around his place and having to think about you and the life you could have had together. But if he’s offering to bring you a toothbrush, some pictures and some lint, he’s just looking for an excuse to see you.

If it’s stuff you actually need back, I always suggest using an intermediary, someone to go pick it up for you.


If you’ve taken the no contact approach and he is trying to keep the connection alive, he will do it by any means necessary, so look out for this oldest trick in the book!

Sign 11: Your Ex Will Likely Use Social Media To Convey Subtle Messages To You

So let’s say your ex boyfriend starts posting song lyrics and quotes after the breakup, not a usual thing for him. The songs happen to be songs that you listened to together or maybe one or two held special meaning to you as a couple.

Boom.  You got him!  Your ex boyfriend is probably dying inside for you!

He might start posting old pictures of the two of you when you were “happy.” And to make matters worse, he’ll start scrolling through your old pictures on your profiles. The evidence would be apparent when you get that notification that he liked that picture of back from when you first started your Instagram 12 years ago.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Selfies He Might Take:  Do You Think Your Ex Is Trying To Convey Something!

So let’s say now your guy has started posting tons of selfies. The reason for this is that he’s afraid you’ve forgotten his face. Does that sound silly?

Okay, it kind of is. He’ afraid that you’ve forgotten him. So, in a frenzy to make sure you haven’t completely forgotten him, he’ll fill your feed with pictures of his face and what he is up to.

Sign 13:  Has Your Ex Boyfriend Turned Into An Adrenaline Jockey

Suddenly his life has become very exciting and he’s better at chronicling everything than he’s ever been in his life. He’s posting pictures. He’s chasing his dreams. He finally bought new pants.

Hey, a friend of mine dated and dumped a guy for whom that would be very exciting news.

But if he’s posting pictures of his suddenly very exciting life, it is quite possible that he is trying to show you that something has changes. Perhaps he’s not quite sure what caused the breakup, but most guys take a leap and assume it’s because you were bored. More likely they’ll assume that you met someone else. Their first instinct will tell them to become better than whoever they think you’re seeing.

Sign 14: Is your Guy Sneaking Around You To Investigate Your Life

We’ve already talked about the fact that he’s probably going through all of your old photos. But what we haven’t discussed is your mutual friends. If he is trying to keep a connection alive, any connection will do. This means staying connect by proxy. He will use the connections your mutual friends have with you to keep tabs on what is going on in your life.

So, if you’re mutual friends keep mentioning that your ex talks about you all the time or that there’s been several instances where he’s shown interest in what’s going on in your life, it’s highly likely that he’s using their connection with you to keep the two of you tethered.


Inevitably, you will eventually end up talking. IF you really want to know if he’s missing you, pay attention to how you came to be face-to-face and what it is you talk about.

Sign 15:  Your Ex Bf May Miss You So Much He Will Devise a Scheme to Run In To You

These are accidental run-ins  that are obviously planned. If your ex if having trouble letting go, he will do everything he can to see you. This could simply be running into you at your favorite coffee shop to showing up at all of the same parties despite not being invited.

Regardless, if you wind up seeing him as much if not more than you did when the two of you were together, it’s likely that there’s still a bit of a catch on is end of the moving on process.

Sign 16: Suddenly  He Knows Everything About You

Suddenly, whether he’s stalking it up on social media or asking all of your friends, when you do talk he knows almost as much about your life as you do. He knows your sister was sick a few weeks ago. He knows your cousin is having her baby next weekend.  I know it sounds kind of creepy, but he’s just trying to stay a part of your life.

It is usually a product of his obsession about you.  Now, he might not admit that he misses you.  Your ex boyfriend may not confess to this, but a sign that he wants you but is scared is his persistence in keeping tabs on you.

So what is your ex scared about, you might ask yourself?  Well of course, it’s rejection.  He doesn’t want to overshoot and screw up his chances.  But the truth is he secretly wants you back really bad.

Sign 17:  Your Love Life Is All Your Ex Boyfriend Seems To Want To Know More About

When you do speak, he seems overly interested in your love life. Are you seeing anyone? Have you been dating? Do you see yourself getting serious with anyone in the future? These are all normal things for your annoying Aunt Ellie to ask at awkward family holiday get-togethers, but if he’s asking these kind of questions it’s because he’s already imagining the worse possible answers in is head.

Although when it comes down to how he approaches talking about his love life, it’s a little harder to decipher. There are three ways he might go about this. He could be dating around and avoid the topic all together so as not to ruin any goodwill he has with you. He could be dating around and rub it in your face. This could be done either to make you feel bad or looking to instigate some jealousy.

Then, there is the possibility that he’s not dating with the hopes that you’ll get back together. All of these are very possible, and the only person who can decipher these moves is him and maybe you if you know him REALLY well.

Sign 18: When Your Ex Misses You Jealousy Will Rear Its Ugly Head

When your dating habits come up, look at how he responds. Is he genuinely happy for you? If he’s missing you or more importantly, if he wants you back, he’ll display some possessiveness and even some jealousy. If for any reason another guy shows you attention, gauge his reaction.

Any sign that he feels like someone is encroaching on his territory is a sign that he still sees you as his. He’ll also be annoyed at you showing anyone else attention if he is trying to reestablish a connection with you. He’ll perceive any possibility of your attention wavering as an attack on that bond he’s so desperately trying to hold onto.

And if you ARE seeing someone new, he will be overly critical of him. Although, it can be cleverly disguised as just caring whether he’s good enough for you. But we both know that if he’s digging into this guy, it’s because he’s measuring himself up against him and trying to figure out that age old question.

“What’s he have that I don’t?”

Sign 19: Your Ex Seems To Fall All Over Himself to Give You Compliments

Hopefully he complimented you plenty when you were together. But now that you are apart, the familiarity should fade some. If, however, he is still showering you with compliments as much or more than he was when the two of you first started dating, he is trying to get back in your good graces.

Sign 20: Your Guy Has Remade Him Self: Witness the Parade of Changes

He might even try to convince you he’s changed, but I’ll promise you right now, if it’s only been a few weeks or a few months since the breakup, it’s more likely that any changes he’s actually made won’t be permanent. I have my ex, who also happens to be a very close friend, trained so well that every time he tries to tell me that he’s coming to visit (He never quite makes it here. Last time he wound up in Hawaii rather than Texas. Common mistake.) he doesn’t even wait for me to respond he just goes,

“I know. I know. You’ll believe it when you see it.”

Sign 21: He Suffers From Angry Outbursts

Does it feel like just when you’re getting to a good place with him he suddenly picks a fight? Well, the good news is he’s most likely not mad at you.

It’s possible that he, as my ex says, caught up with his feelings, and is mad at himself for missing you.

Does it make any sense? Absolutely not. Is he going to pick a fight anyway? Yep.

So, How Do You Deal With An Ex That’s Missing You

Well, long story short, it all comes down to what you want. You have to look at the reasons you broke up. Are they deal breakers? Did you just break up because you were bored? Weigh the pros and cons of the two of you being together.

For a while after my most recent ex and I went our separate ways, I considered whether I would get back with him. You see, despite him being absolutely impossible, being with him gave me the motivation to move forward on a lot of things I had been putting off. So, even though our entire relationship was awash, I still saw it in a positive light.

However, after taking a long look at it… okay it really didn’t take that long, he was a complete jerk…I realized that the upsides of our relationship were all things I could do for myself. He just happened to show me that I could.

So, in your weighing of your relationship, I suggest you take into account the REAL reasons you broke up in the first place.

Does Your Ex Boyfriend Really Deserve You – Do You Truly Miss Him Too?

The one thing I will say is that missing you, doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to get back together. It may just mean that he misses the familiarity and comfort of having someone around. So, if there were big things that he needs to work on, such as anger issues or substance abuse, something you can actually gauge improvement in, I would simply encourage him to continue down the path of getting better.

I have a friend whose wife recently left him because his psychological issues was something she just couldn’t handle. Now, he’s a great guy and I believe he truly wants to win his wife back. But when I suggested that the only way he could do that is to talk to a therapist, despite appearing to be willing to go, he never made a move to actually do it. He wasn’t willing to do what it takes… yet.

Take Time To Assess If You Want To Go Back and Restart With Him

So, this is what I pose to you. Take the No Contact period and use it to work on anything going on in your life that needs to be worked on. Better yourself and work on your sense of self. It’s harder than it sounds, but getting to know yourself can be the most important thing you ever do. And it’s important to do it when you aren’t attached to someone otherwise your sense of self gets tangled with theirs.

Take your No Contact. I’d say 30 days, but if you both have difficult things you need to work on, I’d make it a week or so longer. If your ex continues to “bump into you” be cordial and excuse yourself, for whatever reason. I’m sure you can think of one. If one of my exes bumps into me at the coffee shop, I excuse myself because I usually go there to work or study. He knows both of these things are important so he wouldn’t dare argue about it.

Find your reason and excuse yourself. IF you do find yourself speaking to him for a moment ask how quittinog smoking is coming along, or whatever issue it is that he’s working on. If he’s says,

“It’s going great! I’m really making progress.”

Then you should respond with something like,

“Awesome! I hear it takes 66 days to make a habit. I look forward to seeing what you’ve accomplished at 66 days.”

Then politely excuse yourself. Believe me, this is the exact reason headphones were created.

What you have done here is you’ve set a goal for him. And you’ve set him up for a reward. He will have an excuse to talk to you at 66 days if he makes it. So, he’s more likely to actually try.

Now, leave it and go back to working on becoming the best you.

If you’re like me you feel like you have to babysit people. If you know your friend is on a diet, yet you see them looking at the cookies, suddenly you become the Cookie Police.

Not only is it not your job to make sure your ex follows through, you would fail on your own no contact if you are focused on him. As we say in our group of friends,

“You do you.”

Focus on what you need and if your ex happens to get his life together, then maybe you can consider giving him another chance. But my suggestion as always is to focus on your own life. Make it the best you can and then worry about adding people to it. You’d be surprised how different the world looks when you aren’t up to your eyeballs in shoulda-woulda-coulda’s.

Besides, if your ex knows that dealing with his anger issues was the reason you split, he’d do everything he could to fix it. If he’s not, then he must not want it that much. That is how you know.

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110 thoughts on “Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You”

  1. Avatar


    August 24, 2020 at 3:12 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago due to trust issues and he was angry at the time of breakup. he even lashed out nd even made up that he has a girlfriend to hurt me. i tried to explain him the situation that he misunderstood ms but he didn’t even listen. he was too angry to listen. then I started no contact rule. he contacted me on 28th day of no contact nd fir 3 times in the whole no contact nd was looking t calmer than before. but I didn’t reply. after 45 days I completed my no contact nd he reached out to me again yesterday asking how I was and if my mind is calmer or not. then he asked me do I miss him or not. why he suddenly asked me this if he really has a girlfriend though I hve not seen his girlfriend nor I see any girl on his social media? do he wants to get bck together as he even asked about my dating life as well.what are his intentions.
    P.s.i have completed 45 days of no contact rule.already.nd it was successful

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 6, 2020 at 10:14 am

      Hey, I cant tell you what his intentions are but it shows that he is open to talking to you. Make sure that your conversations stick to the guidelines within ERP. Read articles about the types of conversations you should be having, this should not be about your break up feelings or emotions with your ex so soon!

  2. Avatar


    July 13, 2019 at 3:47 am

    Hi, I and my ex in relationships about 6 years. In this long term relationship we have been broke up 3 times because of the behaviour problems and back again. We are honest and loyal to each other. But we couldn’t balance our relationship with each other’s own goals. So he decided to broke up with me but I know he feels so sad but now I’m doing NC rules about 2 weeks. Feel so crazy thinking about him. I wondering did he thinking of me, did he miss me, did he forget me and go new relationship. I’m afraid of that. The last day after we broke up, we did meet up. He did said “don’t worry let’s we focus in our own careers and goals, let’s see if we still have feelings on each other, we will meet up one day.” And also I know he did love me so much but why suddenly he being like this, I’m confused. Is that I being too controlled him when we in relationship before, or give him too much love, care?. I’m not sure. I can’t falling in love to another person, because I can’t forget the memories with my ex. I feel like we been in fairy tale world before. It was so sweet and romantic type of relationship. But 2 weeks ago before I starts CN rule, he did call me and text me but like pretend like 3rd person. But he too make me jealous that he has new person in his life now and those things make me hurt. I don’t know why he say like that. That’s why I decide to do CN until now I’m following CN. Kindly advice tq

  3. Avatar


    June 26, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    Hello, my name is Terry, I broke up with my ex 2 yrs ago, been trying to move on but he keeps texting my sister asking how her baby is and all that about life back home, like I told him so many times not to stop and keep off to my family since its over between us but he won’t, HR did few days ago, honestly that is not coz when o think am moving on I have to hear his name again, like why is doing all that?

  4. Avatar


    November 22, 2018 at 11:49 pm

    Hey Chris… so lastnight my sis bf ran into my ex out with the rebound..and they all went back to my exs house. My sis bf told him how he went about our breakup was messed up and blah blah, and then my ex asked whether or not my family was mad at him or hated him.. apparantly also the rebound showed tons of jealousy and insecurity and clingyness by constantly trying to get in between the two of them while they were sis bf said you could see my ex was getting pissed off. He totally denied that they are dating and said they are just friends but seemed too comfortable at his house and she was clearly spending the night there.. anyway..why does he care how my family feels? Why should it matter to him? I dont want to read a lot into wondering your take on it.. happy Thanksgiving

  5. Avatar


    April 2, 2018 at 3:56 pm

    Hi, my ex and I dated for 4 months, we saw each other almost every day and got along so well. We had the most amazing time over the summer. I then had to move back to the city for University, (It would be a 3.5 hour drive away) I wanted him to make a decision and commit to a relationship. Because of my own insecurities I kept pushing him for an answer he eventually decided he couldn’t do distance. (according to his best friend he told him it was mutual, it kind of was but not really considering he ended it over text on valentines day and refused to call me because apparently “it was really hard for him” hahah). I went straight into no contact he messaged me a few days later and continued to snapchat me every now and then for 3 weeks (especially when drunk). I eventually messaged him he’s always very happy to talk and replies straight away. I usually end the conversation because it hurts me too much to act like nothing has changed. I am very confused about how he feels. At week 4-5 we talked and he wanted to see me asking if I was at home, I wasn’t. Week 6 he messaged me drunk asking if I blocked him on facebook (I unfriended him because it was stopping me from moving on. He would like all my posts and even hearted one instead of just liking it which is not normal for him. I also unfriended him on snapchat so I couldn’t stalk him and see where he is. Also so he can’t snapchat me and start the hurting and confusion all over again.) He also said that he wanted to come to the city to see me, he then called me but I was asleep. I wanted to do no contact properly so didn’t reply… I eventually caved and said I was coming home that night which i was… but he had work in another town. We tried to arrange to see each other later in that week but our timing was wrong again. I’m not sure how he feels or if I could get him back, if I can’t I just want to move on already, I feel horrible and its really affecting me. Should I do no contact and message him at the end of it and see if we can catch up? I’m just confused because he officially ended the relationship but won’t leave me alone to move on, does he still have feelings, how can I find out?
    Please help, I’m at a loss and really hurting, I fell in love with him very quickly which isn’t like me at all. I want to move on so I can be my normal happy, confident self. But he is confusing me so much as I read too much into everything.
    Thank you

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 4, 2018 at 12:36 am

      I actually think you have the right idea by being your normal, confident and happy self. I get that this process is tough to go through. I’ve been helping people for half a decade and my heart still hurts for people. Anyways, I think you definitely should do a no contact rule.

  6. Avatar


    March 2, 2018 at 1:56 pm

    I had a long term and long distance relationship with my ex for almost two years. It also took me more than two years to move on from him (or I thought I did). Until few days ago that he drunk texted me and for some reason, I realized I still miss him. For that two years, I always initiated contact and just last Dec 2017, I decided I really have to move on and welcome other people in my life. This Feb 2018, he suddenly drunk text me with nonsense things and replied to me the following day that I have to move on after I messaged him how unfair it is. Unfair in the sense that, I was already thinking I had moved on (successfully not texting him for more than two months, starting to go out on dates, gaining self confidence again, etc) and then he sent me a drunk text that confused me again about how I truly feel. It kind of made me angry too because with just one text, I doubted myself again. It made me hope again that we can get back together again.

    I am perplexed on how to move forward from this.

    Is it right that I blocked him?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2018 at 5:39 pm

      Hi Ice,

      Yup, for now but later on, it would be better to unblock, that if he messages again, that’s your chance of ignoring it to keep fully moving on..

  7. Avatar


    February 15, 2018 at 11:55 pm

    My ex and i broke up after 3 years (he broke up with me). when we broke up I did NC for a month i haven’t heard from him. Shortly after, he contacted me and we have been talking ever since. He always initiates contact. we have been talking for 2 weeks now but he hasn’t asked about how i am nor has he said anything about the relationship. its just random conversations throughout the day. What do i do from here? I want him back but i dont know if hes just stringing me along or is he just stalling because he may have someone else.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 19, 2018 at 11:11 am

      Hi Penelope,

      How much are you improving yourself and being active in posting during nc and currently? And are you using topics of his interests?

  8. Avatar

    Saniya Tanveer

    February 5, 2018 at 5:39 am

    I was friend with a guy for mor then 3 years
    8 months before we got into a relationship and now we brokeup because he thinks he has no strong feelings for me and he cant love me the way I am expecting. We had a fight we both apologised each other and I haven’t contacted him since a week and I don’t even find any signs of him missing me
    I really want him back what do I do

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 7, 2018 at 3:14 pm

      Hi Saniya,

      The nc rule is for you to focus in improving yourself and in healing, not for him to initiate during it because you will have to ignore that and you can initiate after nc

  9. Avatar

    ShayRonn Madl

    February 3, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    Ok so my ex just started pulling away about a year ago. And blames me for it all, I went to work come home walked my son to daycare and walked to wwork. He worked then too. He’s normally a roofer and so it become stressful, then he always started having around 10 people give or take quite a few anyway and having cookout’s every day we stopped talking every time I try to talk about anything he starts screaming at me and normally telling me I’m stupid and wrong. But here’s my problem. I, can’t
    seem to let go. I still love him with all my heart and I know he doesn’t love me the same and I know all of this how can I make myself do the no contact. I have only went one day without out texting him other then 3 weeks I was in jail (turned myself in) but, my kids and him are my world how can I make myself do it? Please help me out here. Cuz I don’t think I can do a no contact order.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 7, 2018 at 12:52 pm

      Hi Shayronn,

      Would you rather lose him or lose your kids when you go to jail?

  10. Avatar


    January 17, 2018 at 2:32 pm

    My boyfriend and i was almost 7 months in a relationship. We broke up because he told me my attitude is too much.. too much of jealousy and fights. So one day he said he needs space after the fight and told me that he has become emotionless. So i gave it to him. After 2days, i text gnatted him because of the space that he needs. After that, he told me that we should break up coz he doesnt love me anymore. And given that his mom came home after 12years of not going home. I begged for a day and asked him if his decision was final and his answer was “i think so as far as i know” and asked again if it will not change, he answered “nope, not that i know of”.. i dont know what to do..he is still spending his time eith his mom because his mom will be with him for only 3weeks. I dont know if i should move on or not because maybe he just wants to spend time with his mom..and his things are still in my house and so my things in his house. Please tell me what to do. Im in my 3rd day of No Contact.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2018 at 8:30 am

      Hi Princess,

      why not try the no contact rule first?

  11. Avatar


    November 2, 2017 at 11:55 pm

    hi, my ex and i together for 2 years. now, i am in the middle of NC. 7days but i broke it 🙁 mu ex contact me every day to ask me a favor or help. then yesterday he said it is ok if i don’t want to talk to him again, it is your choice. if it is better for you then ok i will leave you alone. i freaked out and reply his text. what does he mean by saying that? i am affraid that he will forget me because he thinks i will forget him also. he said that he hopes everything remains the same except our status. what is that supposed to mean? does he try to friendzone me or something ? what should i do know? Restart NC or just continue? i miss him so much. oh he also said that he is still confused about his feeling and move on is not the right choice for him now. it is all confusing for me. please help.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 4, 2017 at 12:48 am

      Hi Cherry,

      restart nc and check this one:
      Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

  12. Avatar


    October 1, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    Oh my…this was an eye opener. I thought I was going mad! It’s been several months since we split,and at the time I thought it was the right decision. (Mutual) I then found out he was cheating afew months before,which just reinforced my decision. After fifteen years together,the child, dog and house,it seems we both ran out of steam. I went NC immediately for self preservation, sheer anxiety that he replaced me and moved in with her. Now here’s the thing…he is constantly asking about me to friends,even now,he now picks our teenage daughter up for school most days ( never bothered before), went ballistic when he found out I was going out with another man,( a friend nothing more) continued to tell me to hurry up and get a job so I could pay for the car, phone, my half of the mortgage…to only do a u-turn when I handed the car back…( got a job and brought my own),has been seen parked down the street where we live,I’ve seen his car parked up near where I work,which is slightly unnerving…….,I miss him,but not sure why? Is his behaviour normal,am I going mad? Or am I paranoid?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 2, 2017 at 7:35 pm

      Hi Sasha,

      It does look like he is missing you.m but if you miss him and you want to get back with him, ask yourself first if he’s the right guy to be with, aside from being the father of your child

  13. Avatar


    August 28, 2017 at 12:28 pm

    Hi, Help!

    I was In a long term relationship for 5 years, we split due to stress put on to our relationship as my family did not like him (we had split many times, I thought we would get back together). We still talked, and we’re meant to meet to say bye and clear the air, but then I found out my ex had started seeing someone else after a few weeks! So I broke all contact and blocked him on all social media.

    I have been in other relationships, but I always thought of my ex. I started to see him around (he works by my place of work) and he would always stare, not say anything. I was always the more stubborn one, and my friends had all said if I had stopped and said hello, he would have spoken to me. I kept seeing him for ages, but never had the courage to say hi. I then got offered a job in a new town, and was making some purchases and had told his sister about my new job. At that point, I knew he single. Anyway, after being in my job for a few months, I got offered a promotion back at my original work place (my jobs have all been with the same company). I then didn’t see my ex. It had been 6 years of no contact and my friend found out he was on a social media dating site. I decided to contact him via social media to see how he was doing (I genuinely thought it would be nice to have a catch up, see what he had been doing). He got back to me a while later and we arranged to meet for a drink (in the meantime, I had found out he had a new girlfriend). It was lovely to catch up, it was like 2 old friends seeing each other, he spoke about his girlfriend etc although I did get the feeling he was exaggerating how happy they were. We both joked that we hadn’t had kids yet and he said he wanted his girlfriend to be settled in her new career before they had any (she is 6 years younger than both of us) we left it on a good note, he even asked for a hug at the end! I left happy to have cleared the air and really happy that he was doing well.

    I then thought I had got my closure years later and was happy. I then didn’t come across him again (he had told me, he was working in a different town now, although for the same company). I was happy as I thought I wouldn’t see him and could finally move on!

    All of a sudden, 6 weeks ago I walked past his place of work and there he was working! We both saw each other, but I thought, here we go again! I have to walk past his work to get to mine, I try and avoid his work as much as a I can! I saw him a few times at work and thought he must be back. The. Something weird happened, he walked past my work place as I was getting ready to leave and saw me and I saw him but I was still inside. I brushed it aside and left work with a friend. We then noticed he had done a loop and came back the same way as me and I saw him to my right as I glanced up!! Again, it was too far to acknowledge him so we carried on and I got dragged into a shop. I then caught sight of him walk past the shop… and then walk back up again!! I got the impression he wants to speak to me.

    I was then met after work by 2 friends, as we walked to the car park.. I looked at the glass doors in front of me and noticed his reflection – he was walking right behind me!! I carried on my journey and went to my floor.

    I’m confused, are these all signs or am I taking this out of context?! I always seem to see him when he’s single, it’s as if he makes himself visible to me – but I do know he is not single at the moment as he is still with the same girlfriend and they have been together 2 years now.

    Is he trying to talk to me?! My gut is telling me yes! He has now been playing on my mind again.. I wonder if I ever play on his.. when we met up, he was very interested in my love life and looked a bit sad when I said I would prefer someone slightly older.

    What should I do? Should I strike up a conversation if I see him? Or am I being silly?! Is this a sign – I get the feeling it is! I never seemed to act on it and when I did message him to meet – it was too late as he was it’s someone

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 28, 2017 at 7:26 pm

      Hi Sammi,

      if you see him just approach him and say hi.. you wouldn’t know if you keep guessing.

  14. Avatar

    Oh, So I'M Nancy

    July 19, 2017 at 7:59 pm

    In a very confusing situation. The object of my affection was never my boyfriend, but we did have an intense two week period where we were dating/seeing each other. I had been crushing on him pretty hard for a month before that. I got the courage to ask him if he wanted to hang out and made it very apparent that I was interested, and he seemed very interested as well. The two weeks that we’d been spending time together, things were very affectionate and intimate and sweet (he told me on numerous occasions that he found me cute/pretty/beautiful). At the end of the second week, he met up with me at a café and said that he does really like me, but that he needed to end it because he was hung up on this girl that he’s been “in love with” (limerent object, they’ve never actually been together, he’s basically at an obsessed level of infatuation) for a couple years. He said the voice in the back of his head kept saying, “hey, what about the other girl?” even though he knows they will never be together. He had apparently been talking to a good friend of his and his sister a lot about this over the two weeks we were seeing other because he didn’t know what to do because he really liked me, but just couldn’t let go. For the first week after this conversation, we stayed in contact, but I just could not stop pining after him because it didn’t end because I’d done anything wrong. It didn’t even end because he didn’t like me. I asked if he would be willing to meet up with me again exactly one week after that conversation because I was still just so very heartbroken and confused. I needed answers. In this conversation, I wound up having it spelled out for me several times that we wouldn’t try again, “we’d wind up back here again, only worse, and you don’t deserve that kind of pain.” He comforted and hugged me throughout this conversation, and towards the end, there was a period of time where I was just looking at him silently. He willingly made eye contact and looked away a few times after this, but ultimately just kept saying, “I’m sorry.” I gave the signal that I guess we were done and we both walked back to our cars, but before we parted ways it was, “one more hug?” (His request.) When I got home, I sent him a message thanking him for meeting up with me again and said that I’d gotten the closure I’d needed to started moving on but that I didn’t think we’d need to break contact. I made a joke. He responded, albeit it was a short-ish response and suddenly, I backed off even though I didn’t want to. Suddenly I was worried that if I kept talking to him without him initiating, he’d have reason to be upset with me. It’s been five days, and while neither of us have said anything (he’s the kind of guy that might be assuming that maybe I don’t want him talking to me right now), he’s like a facebook status and checks up on my snapchat stories when he’s not busy. I desperately want to talk to him because he was always so much fun to talk to and I always enjoyed talking to him, and I’m suffering pretty badly. I’ve withdrawn a fair bit from, well, everyone, although I keep trying to “do me.” It’s been five days since I last said anything to him, and all I’ve done is wonder if he misses me or regrets it… or whether or not he’s finally moved on… I keep wishing I hadn’t caught feelings, because this hurts so bad. I keep wishing I had a chance, because I never really got one. I don’t know what to do. It is taking every fiber of my being to not contact him.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 23, 2017 at 6:12 pm

  15. Avatar


    June 16, 2017 at 10:21 am

    I broke up 1 week ago with 2 year relationship boy friend. He didn’t break me up officially. But when i know he had another girl friend. I messed up and angry with him . I broke him first. Then, I can’t. I cried and begged him not to leave me. He blocked me everywhere. Then , I started to decide to do NC rule. At that night, he called me via ph and asked me to live better without him. If ok one day, he will come back or I can search new one. Then, he blocked me again. and I also blocked him.Now, 5 days over, I miss him badly. Will he also miss me? What should I continue to do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 17, 2017 at 7:55 pm

      Im sorry, did you mean he’s cheating on you? restart the no contact rule and stick to at least 30 days.. improve yourself and be active in posting

  16. Avatar


    May 11, 2017 at 12:12 pm

    Hi, it’s been a month that I broke up with bf of nearly 2 years. Currently I’m doing NC. We were still friends on fb. He kept Travelling & posting a lot of photos. He seldomly liked my posts. Comment under my comments on our mutual friends photo. He is not contacting me directly but sometimes send texts through our group chats with common friends. Does it mean he miss me or want me back? I’m making myself strong, not to contact or reply him even in group chats.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 11, 2017 at 8:15 pm

      yeah, it can mean he misses you.

  17. Avatar


    March 22, 2017 at 9:33 pm

    How should I handle it if his first time reaching out is in my last week of NC and he’s asking if I’d like some of my stuff back? I guess I do, but the items aren’t that important. Would it be best to respond after NC and arrange to trade?

    1. Avatar


      March 25, 2017 at 6:32 pm

      I mean blew off as in we had plans to meet up and trade and then at the last minute he said something came up and he could just drop my thing off (I assume he means when I’m not there).

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 26, 2017 at 2:12 pm

      hmmm.. I think just do a mini nc of two weeks

    3. Avatar


      March 25, 2017 at 6:31 pm

      I did that and then he blew me off at the last minute. Should I restart a new NC?

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 25, 2017 at 4:23 pm

      Hi T,

      yes, respond and trade after nc..

  18. Avatar


    March 15, 2017 at 2:21 pm

    My ex and I have been broken up for years now. We talk regularly. Like on daily bases. I want him back, but he says he has a girlfriend. But sometimes I feel he’s lying. Once I started a no contact, suddenly. His best friends starts chatting me up for no reason. Then I had to call him. I don’t know how to handle this guy. He says he’d be fine if we are just friends, and then if I start talking to him like a friend he gets upset. For example, he says he never wants to hear me say “I miss him”. I ask him why and he says something like… “I dont know” but for me, I say I miss you to my friends, so am wondering why he’s so personal. Another thing he does, sometimes if we are chatting…. He gets carried away and then starts getting naughty … I mean really naughty… Like we Really dating, then the next morning, he’d be acting all cold. Am just tired of the games. I still love the dude. But am tired of him blowing up and down.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 16, 2017 at 3:09 pm

      Hi Joan,

      so what’s your decision now? Are you going to move on or try a full nc first?

  19. Avatar


    March 7, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    We broke up 6 weeks ago and he wanted to be friends. I found this site, So i started no contact 3 weeks ago but bumped into him 3 days in and had a convo about how we cant be friends. He did the things you said, i kept up ignoring him for 3 days but he called 7 times in one night while i was asleep. Unheard of so i answered the next day. He just wanted to hear that we are done completely. I couldnt say that and he ended the convo that he likes his no expectations. So i said well have fun i need space ill talk to you in a month. That was 2 weeks ago. Then he sent a msg about how he is distracted, he doesnt know what my end game is but hes done waiting its been too long and he feels like i have all the power. So being dumb i messaged him back and now he says he doesnt think he could take me back anyway because what broke us up was the confusion i felt for my babies’ dad and thinking i should give my him a chance. So i just gave him all the power back, and now my fears of him moving on are back to being front and centre especially since he has a rebound.
    So i know he misses me right now but how long do i have of hes ready to run away now. What do i do since he thinks my not contactinf him is some game.

    1. Avatar


      March 10, 2017 at 12:26 pm

      Ive never been very active on social media and he removed me from all of them. The stuff i was active with was always private… he showed up at lunch after these messages and acted like i didnt even exist. I tried to be positive but just kept up normal convo with the group of girls. Now has dissapeared again. I feel like hes just too stubborn to be willing to admit anything or try again
      It was a rough end because i was so confused.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2017 at 2:08 pm

      you have to restart the count and to start being active and to make your posts public because that’s your indirect way of showing you’re “moving on”

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2017 at 10:34 am

      Hi Esmee

      dont tell him that you’re doing the no contact rule and that you’re going to talk to him after a certain time..right now he just wants to friendzone you, so it’s better to restart the no contact period, stick to it and be very active in improving yourself and in posting in social media…

  20. Avatar


    February 23, 2017 at 11:40 pm

    Okay so my bf of 6 months broke up w me. He said it was for no reason and I belive it because I know when he is trying to hide something. Anyways I wasn’t very sad about it, but rather positive because we were going to stay friends. I went out with him the other day and I was pshisically a little distant from him wich bothered him a lot but I smiled and really enjoyed it always talkin and being myself. He on the other hand, was really sad. It was and it is hard to understand it for me, because he broke up with me. I have posted since then some photos of me happy with other people enjoying life and all. Anyways he called me and we were both enjoying conversation and it was all nice, untill today I got into a fight with him because I was trying to prove he doesn’t care for me and he said that wasn’t true. Then after everything, he said it is better if he didn’t talk to me anymore and I was really upset for the first time, I cried and called him. I didn’t wanted to sound desperate but I just cried and he said he would continue talking to me. Meanwhile he said that I hurt him in a way I don’t see, and I belive that it has something to do with me enjoying life and posting pics on social media, and being distant with him on messenger app. Also he was the one who cried when he was breaking up with me, and he cried when i told him today in the fight that i dont know what have i seen in him and that i consider him as a bad person. Why do people break up with someone for no reason? What can I do to stay good friends with him? Can you advise me on this matter? It is clear he still has feelings, but how do I maintain good friendship with him so maybe one day it could be something else? Thank you for your help!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2017 at 2:08 pm

      Hi Elol89,

      maybe the relationship got boring for him and he fell out of love, or he doesn’t feel that desire and attraction anymore. Yeah, he misses you, because that’s what he’s used to do, to talk to you. But right now, if you’re going to stay to talk, you’ll be friendzoned. Do you want to try the no contact rule?

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