In this article we’re going to talk about the very best text messages to send your ex after a breakup.
So let’s get started and talk about some of the best text messages that my team and I have seen this year that have worked to get responses from exes.
Of course, before I start listing off the very best messages to send your ex, we first need to understand the overall goal when it comes to texting your ex.
Your goal here is to get a response.
That’s it.
A lot of people seem to believe that it’s my job to give you every single text message that will work on your ex, and while I would certainly love to do that, what I have found works better than anything is organic texting.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizWhat Is Organic Texting?
What do I mean by that? I mean a text message exchange that sounds natural and follows the patterns and style that you would have fallen into while you were together.
So in essence, what we try to do here on the Ex Boyfriend Recovery website and the YouTube channel is to show you how best to start conversations with your ex that have the potential to turn into full-blown organic exchanges that run naturally, just like they used to.
The issue with trying to have templated responses to every single thing that you will text your ex is that it sounds fake.
Part of winning an ex back is making everything seem authentic. And quite frankly, there is no way to fake authenticity.
Although I can give you suggestions, ultimately it’s the real, authentic you that your ex fell for in the first place, and it’s you, the best version of you, that he will respond best to.
So rather than dealing out four of the best full conversations I’ve seen my clients have with exes, I’m going to just start with one singular text by showing you how they started the conversation.
The Best Text Messages I Have Seen Work This Year
What’s interesting is when you actually look at these successful text messages and how they get positive responses from exes, you’ll start to notice two patterns develop.
Firstly, most of the text messages that I’ve seen work contain some sort of pattern interrupt.
This is a way of catching your ex’s attention throughout his busy day.
If you want a bit more of an explanation on what that is I suggest you watch this short video I filmed,
Sometimes we will see texts like
“Hey, I have a confession to make.”
A pattern interrupt makes you do a double-take.
Now the other interesting aspect that’s included in these text messages is a curiosity hook.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizA curiosity hook needs to make your ex curious enough to engage in a conversation.
So now you understand the best patterns to go by, let’s look at four of the best text messages I’ve seen used this year.
Text Message #1: So, have you heard the news?
This is your standard pattern interrupt text message. Your ex is going to stop and think, what news?
This is also a curiosity hook, and we have found it is often successful in getting a “What news?” kind of reply.
And you are now engaged in a conversation.
What do you do then?
Well, you just let the conversation unfold organically. Make sure you have some interesting news – something that involves his interests, not just yours – and keep the exchange positive and light.
Maybe a new exhibition or film just opened near you, or there’s a new tech announcement you know he’ll be into, or a sale on his favorite website.
You can then follow up by discussing this interesting news for a few messages, before ending the conversation before you want to.
Before you want to? Yes. Again, you want to interrupt the pattern. Leave the conversation with him wanting more; don’t wait until the conversation starts to peter out.
You can say something like, “Gotta run, my friend is here!” or “Heading out to the gym now.” You can keep it simple, but where possible be the one to end the conversation.
Leave him wanting more, and curious about you. You want to have him thinking positively about you, so that when you next text him, he’s open to a conversation again.
Text Message #2: I need your expertise.
This text message combines a pattern interrupt and a curiosity hook, and also a touch of ‘damsel in distress’, which we have found is very effective in getting a response.
Everyone likes to think they are an expert on certain things, and everyone likes to be indispensable. So appeal to his male pride, and ask him for his help.
The most common reply is a simple, “On what?”
This is great – you’ve got him interested. Now you want to start a full organic conversation with him.
Next you say, “I’m having a debate at work, and…” and then you simply put your debate in there.
It’s another great way of catering to what your ex knows, or something that interests him. It shows you value his knowledge and opinions.
Make sure you pick something that is allied to his interests, and make sure it’s not something you can just look up on Google.
The addition of your opinions on whatever the debate is, and those of your colleagues, means you can easily draw him into an organic conversation which has the potential to keep going, and keep him interested.
That is, until you are ready to end the conversation. See the point above, and make sure that you don’t let the conversation drag on.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThis can be pretty hard to do, especially if things are going really well, but pick a high point then make an excuse and stop messaging.
Text Message # 3: Hey, I thought this would be right up your alley.
Now I have to say this is my very favorite text message, because the women who have used it do something very specific that sets it apart.
There’s nothing at face value that sounds extremely interesting to say “Hey, I thought this would be right up your alley.”
The women who use this will typically send some kind of funny video or news article that will interest the ex. You can then let the conversation flow from there.
But there’s another option.
The women who are super-successful with using this text message don’t actually send anything.
Why would this work?
Well, think about it.
If you’ve sent this text, then you don’t send anything to follow it up, it gives your ex an automatic reason to respond basically saying, “Hey, you didn’t send anything.”
It’s a response based on curiosity.
It might not be the best quality of response, but when you are initially reaching out to your ex after a period of using the No Contact Rule, even a neutral response is good news.
Essentially, this whole text message is a big curiosity hook.
They sit around waiting for whatever you’re going to send them to come through, but it doesn’t come. Their curiosity gets the better of them and they tell you you didn’t send anything.
This is when you respond and send the link or image, and voila, you’ve created a conversation.
This one is a bit more risky in that you might annoy your ex by not sending anything. This would be especially true if you two haven’t had any interaction at all for a while, so use it wisely in your specific situation.
This is a really great text message to use if you know your ex well enough to know that it will pique their curiosity rather than irritate them. It’s also a great conversation starter for your second or third positive exchange.
Text Message #4: Hey, I know this is random, but [insert question]?
Now I know this text message may not seem a lot, but this message yielded the most positive responses that we saw in our private Facebook support group. Why?
It’s pretty much by the book. It’s a pattern interrupt and a curiosity hook embedded. All of the text messages I’ve talked to you about today are those, but for whatever reason, this kind of makes an ex respond more and engage in a conversation.
My theory here is that, like the other messages in this article, this allows you to insert your ex’s interests directly into it.
For example: “Hey, I know this is random but…I really need your help on this fantasy football league that my work made me join.”
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizIf your ex is into fantasy football, you have just hooked them into a great conversation with you.
There’s an element of the ‘damsel in distress’ with this one too – if you make him feel like he’s the only one who can really help you here, he’ll come out of the conversation feeling positive.
The “This is random” element of the message can also work as an oblique reference to the fact that you guys haven’t been talking to each other for a certain period of time, however long that may be.
You are acknowledging that fact, not ignoring it.
Some clients have exes who have replied to whatever initial message is sent with, “What? I haven’t heard from you for x amount of time and you’re sending me this now?”
So if you think that’s the response you might get, this is a very subtle way of saying, hey, I realise it’s out of the blue but…and then trying to get involved in that first conversation on the road to getting your ex back.
Make sure whatever you follow that first hook message with is really good.
Make a list of his interests and follow some accounts on Facebook or Instagram or news channels, and pick up on something before your No Contact Rule period ends.
So that’s the essence of the four best text messages to send your ex.
Wait, Where Does The No Contact Rule Fit Into This?
But if you’re quite new to all this and haven’t got far into the process of getting your ex back, you might be wondering about this No Contact Rule I have mentioned.
This is usually the first step in winning your ex back, but also in helping you to cope with the breakup and not make things worse for yourself.
A No Contact Rule is a period of time, usually between 21 and 45 days (depending on your situation and how bad the breakup was) where you do not initiate any contact with your ex, and you do not reply to any messages they send you on any medium.
This includes not stalking their social media and not talking to their friends, mutual friends or their family about them or the breakup.
There are certain situations (e.g. you live or work together) where you have to have limited contact, but you keep it strictly business. You don’t even ask them how they are.
This gives both parties space to process their feelings and get some distance from the inevitable and painful negativity of the breakup. Even amicable breakups aren’t pleasant, and you both need time to heal.
You also use this time wisely. Fill your time with new experiences, friends, fun times, achievements at work and so on. Post it all on your open social media channels, and 90% of the time an ex will check in. More importantly, it gives you a new focus and helps you recover your self-confidence and shine again.
This is a really quick introduction to the No Contact Rule, but it really is an essential step before you start texting. Towards the end of your No Contact Rule period, you can start planning your text messages using the strategies I have explained above.
If you want more information on No Contact, texting and the rest of the step-by-step system for getting your ex back, you can check out the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro package, which goes into lots of detail and covers every situation we have come across.
There’s also a more detailed outline of No Contact and why it’s so important on the website here.
Thanks for getting to the end of this article! I really hope it helps. Those first texts after giving your ex some space can be really nerve-wracking, but with good planning you can ace it.
If you haven’t already, take that Ex Recovery Chances Quiz, it’s only two minutes and gives you a great idea of your chances of getting your ex back.
If you have any questions about how to text your ex, or any part of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery program, let me know in the comments below.
My team and I really try to answer as many as I can!
Niki Mark
June 16, 2023 at 6:13 am
Hi
I had great success with the “I know that this is a bit random” text to my ex bf who went back to his ex gf of 4 months – I was went out with him straight after her for a year and I finished with him. He waited about 5 months to go out with her – she has baggage and he’d always told me he never loved her or told her she was beautiful – however he always told me those things. I do want him back.
What should my follow up text to him look like? I was worried that by sending a second question that he’d think “why is she asking me all these questions”. Also I sent the first question last Saturday so how long should I wait to send another please. Thank you
Coach Shaunna
November 12, 2023 at 7:03 am
Hi Niki, it sounds as if he is telling you what you want to hear in regard to the OW. When reaching out you are going to be pulling similar texting style that is focusing on his interests and hobbies to get him communicating with you. Be sure that you read articles about the being there method and texting phase to help support you to connect with this guy, my advice however, is to be very careful that you do not fall into a love triangle where is playing the both of you against each other.
Beautiful
September 3, 2021 at 4:24 pm
Hi
I need text help. Married for 30+ years, 60+ years young…now free, no clue what to do when or how. The dating world has changed so much. I was in a dating relationship with a narcissist (clueless about his personality, until recently he said “do you know I am a narcissist”) for 5+ years, on again off again. We have a lot in common and enjoy most of the same things.. I see the good in everyone, but my recent research says I should run and not look back. I am working the “no contact” process, 30 days passed and now I am on day 9 of text contact. So, my question is two fold; Am I wasting my time, in the long run? If not, where can I learn to be better at text communication.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 7, 2021 at 9:12 pm
Hey there, so you could look into purchasing the texting bible to help you with your communication. Be sure that you are using the materials on this website and the YouTube videos for more materials if you are not in a position to purchase the texting bible.
Tanu1010
July 23, 2020 at 6:10 am
Hey, I convinced my bf to get back through a lot of pleading and convincing, he got back but he said, he doesn’t want to try, he doesn’t trust me and he hates me as I made him feel caged for one whole year. I have realized my mistakes and I have improved but he refuses to believe or give me a chance. I have a last chance to try but he does not want to try. I earlier wanted to go on no contact but I broke it. This time I went on a no contact. It’s been 2 days and I haven’t heard from him. What should I do and what should I expect. He has already said he doesn’t want to take the plunge and somehow he is like I just want to prove that I have improved and I don’t care about his happiness and he still thinks I would cage him. What should I do to win his trust. Will no contact help ? I fear this no contact will make him happier that I am not there and he will consider it an escape( he said felt happy when he went on a 30 day break from me.) He is very stubborn
Please help.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 24, 2020 at 9:08 am
Hi Tanu, so one thing you must learn how to control your emotions and try to understand if someone is with you because you “convinced them” then he is not really going to be investing into you. You need to give him time and space away from you and let him feel what he truly feels, the negative always comes first but it soon passes. And then reach out at the end of your 45 day No Contact. You having him be in a relationship with you where he does not want to spend time with you or talk to you is going to cause you so much more mental and emotional damage than what breaking up will do. I suggest that you end the somewhat relationship you have now, tell him you AGREE that you need some time apart and just do not engage in conversation with him again until 45 days have passed.
jeff
May 3, 2020 at 2:03 pm
i am in the no contact time with my ex and i am looking for a good text to break the ice. her birthday will be very close to the end of my no contact period and i was thinking something along the lines of. “Its been a bit but I wanted to reach out and wish you a happy birthday, hope its a good one!” what would you advise?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 7, 2020 at 9:06 pm
Hi Jeff, we in ex recovery do not recommend reaching out with a birthday text as it does not have as much impact as one of the texts that Chris suggests as a first text after NC if the birthday is close to the end of your NC extend a week so that it is not around the time your ex EXPECTS to hear from you, it will make her wonder why you didnt reach out if you do not message her a happy birthday text
Gina
March 24, 2020 at 5:25 pm
He broke up w/ me early march. We have been talking, texting mainly, even facetimed once, i saw him last weekend, i came over to his place to pick up my stuff and we were still attracted to each other, we ended being intimate. I don’t regret it but i want him back. He broke up because he’s confused, whether he should stay in forever relationship or stay alone. He divorced last year, still carries emotional baggage from his past. Maybe he needs time alone to sort out, not my fault but his own internal issues, he should resume therapy. I dont want him to meet new people. Issue is we didnt apply no rule contact since we been talking. But i can tell he still cares about me, not sure he still loves me, but since we met last week, he keeps sending random texts. What should i do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 28, 2020 at 8:43 pm
Hi Gina, if your ex needs to work on himself then I suggest that you allow him that time where you spend the time focusing on yourself. If you are meeting up and taking things slowly then I Would suggest that you make sure nothing intimate happens between you until you are back in an official relationship but make sure that you take it slowly. Ideally we suggest doing a No Contact as this gives you both some space from each other
Liv
January 16, 2020 at 1:47 pm
It’s been 2 weeks since he told me he wants to be alone. I’ve been seeing him for almost 3 months. He acted differently for the past 15 days before he told me he wants to be alone. I knew something’s off, but I tried to communicate as usual. He don’t want to make it official, he told me he’ll propose me when I graduated (I have graduated now, just a few days ago). I always believe that he will because out parent’s have known each other for more than a decade. We talked about weddings, booking a place for our wedding (we had this conversation with his mom, he also had this conversation with his family), brought me to meet his parents, his plans for this year and so on. His parents wanted him to get married this year (due to his age) and I have told my parents as well. I never thought that he’d leave. Before everything went wrong (15 days before he dropped the news, that was the last time I saw him) we had a conversation. He told me that he’s in a crisis, that he’s not ready for a relationship. He still had a contact with his ex a month before he starts texting me, and it was a 3 years relationship. His past relationship always lasted for more than 2 years (he got 4 exes now). He told me that relationship keeps disappointing him, he got cheated 3x. I know for sure I’m not that kind of person. So when he told me he don’t want to left me hanging; that he wanted to be alone; and he needs to contemplate, I was disappointed but not surprised (due to his changes for the past 15 days). My intuition tells me this is what he need, he needs to make peace with himself, and I feel like he’ll come back. But nothing is certain, uncertainty is inevitable. So I gave hime what he wants. I’m just afraid that he won’t be back. And I don’t know how to engage him when I passed the NC period. I don’t know how long should I wait before I contact him.
Rana
January 11, 2020 at 1:36 am
My ‘boyfriend’ and I were together for a year, his family didn’t approve of me so we broke things off. 6 months after wards, he came back and said he missed me and wanted to make things work. We come from a background where we’re not supposed to date or talk to the opposite sex. He asked me if I had been involved with anytime in that time frame and I was ashamed so I kept it to myself and said no. Long story short, when we reconnected, it was perfect until the crazy ex started blowing me up. He found out, kept telling me he thought I slept with the crazy ex… I didn’t, but I got angry and said that I did. He left, said “there’s no coming back from this.” And moved across the world… literally. I want to contact him, but he’s blocked me on everything. I have other ways to contact him, but I don’t know if there’s a way to get him to actually talk to me.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 16, 2020 at 11:38 pm
Hey Rana so you have to do a No Contact, and read about how to gain your exes trust back, even though you havent cheated you are going ot have to gain the trust back. And no speak to the other ex again as this is going to cause more problems in your relationship if you want to be with the ebr ex again
Ana
January 10, 2020 at 1:03 pm
Ex is totally ignoring me. Reached out and then waited 10 days. Reached out with a expertise question and no response. I’ve become ungettable, I’m thinner and happier and out with friends. There’s a girl he is talking to but it’s not serious.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 13, 2020 at 11:48 pm
Hey Ana, start dating casually and also read about the being there method just because there is sort of another woman on the scene.
Jessica N Robinson
January 5, 2020 at 4:38 pm
Hello….my ex and I have been an on again off again relationship for over 18 years. Our last time together was a “limbo” relationship. We hung out, did things together, briefly lived together ( I got devastating health news and he took care of me) for 3 years. We were doing great I thought…but we never actually called ourselves a couple this time around and never engaged in sex mainly because of my health issues. But we both really cared for each other and enjoyed each other. 3 months ago he came to me to tell me he was moving out…I was ok. We still talked and occassionally went out for lunch. New Years Eve he came to me and told me he wants to only be friends and for me not to expect anything more. We talked on the 2nd for two hours and he sent a lot of mixed messages but for the last 2 days he has ignored me completely. He has stuff he needs to drop off and I texted letting him know when I’d be available and nothing.
I was going to give it a few days b4 texting him but what do I text to get him to respond? My health makes it to where I cannot go long without talking to him…the NC for 30 days would be impossible.
I also must say that he has told me he thinks he wants to “date” / play the field but I don’t think hes dating due to his actions b4 he stopped talking to me
Help
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 8, 2020 at 8:42 pm
Hey Jessica, so you mentioned that your health means you need to speak to him. Without being too crude, is there no one else you can depend on instead of him short term? If you are not together and he wants to date then that is of course his call and as you said he was taking care of you while unwell so I can imagine that he cares for you deeply. For this process to work, we encourage that we focus on ourselves first and our exes second. So first thing you have to do is focus on you, what is going to help you heal, what is going to help your health, help you be happy. Then when you reach a point of feeling strong, you can read about the being there method where you are in your exes life but not depending on him for health reasons as such as being his friend and put yourself between your ex and any new people he may meet
T
January 5, 2020 at 2:24 am
My ex broke up with me 7 months ago and we were together for over 3 years long distance. He was also my ex from 14 years ago. He got married a year after we broke up the first time and when he got a divorce he reached out to me on social media. So we have a long history together. The reason why he broken up with me this time was because I didn’t make enough effort to spend quality time with him when he needed me. Guess I took him for granted. He’s my soulmate. Anyways, he just reached out to me for the first time on Christmas Eve since going NC for many months. We haven’t seen or spoken to one another . Right after we broke up he started dating someone else which I believe is a rebound. He texted me asking how I was doing and that we haven’t spoken in a awhile. He also wish me a Merry Christmas. We texted back and forth a few times but it’s very short. He never once ask me anything that has been going on in my life since we broke up. Should I ask him that question? I have no idea why he’s reaching out to me now. What are his intentions? Do you think he wants me back? Should I tell him that I still love him? Need your advice.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 8, 2020 at 4:33 pm
Hi T, so no I would not tell him that you still love him as he could be reaching out to you as a friend for all we know. I can’t really answer the other questions. You can choose to reach out to him and see how much of a conversation you can get, and build up the quality of your messaging gradually. If he has a girlfriend or is interested in you again he will show it, but it will just take time.
Holly E
January 4, 2020 at 4:31 am
I have successfully engaged in 5 text interactions with my ex. They have all been pattern interrupts/curiosity hooks. It seems repetitive if I continue with this type of conversation starter for the 6th text and beyond. What do I do next? I haven’t yet inserted a memory text in the body of our text interaction because it seems disjointed. Can I start the text with a memory text? I don’t feel that I’ve established enough rapport with him to do the “I have a story, can I call you to talk briefly about it?”
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 4, 2020 at 9:09 pm
Hey Holly yes you can do the memory text by now giving that you and your ex have spoken a few times, and then I would wait a little longer before the phone call ( so that you have been texting for at least 4 weeks minimum) But yes the idea to get the phone call is good
Rachel
January 2, 2020 at 7:56 pm
My ex and I were together for two years and he broke up with me six months ago. I did no contact for two months, and we have sent periodic text messages since. I saw him in person for the first time in six months at a party. We talked for awhile and both of us drank too much and we ended up having sex. It’s been one day and he hasn’t texted me since. What do I do next? I told him I would contact him when I left his apartment so is he waiting for me to make a move?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 3, 2020 at 1:23 am
Hi Rachel so as you slept together on a drunk night and you have not spoken in a while I wouldnt reach out for a few days, but if you dont hear from him by day 4 send a message and see what sort of response you get from him. if you want him back as a boyfriend do not sleep with him again until you are officially back together but take it slow so you dont rush things and ruin it
Holly
January 2, 2020 at 2:47 am
I completed the NC- it was a total of 34 days. I messaged him today and he replied but it was very short and to the point. I am worried that if I text him again tomorrow- I will look needy, like I’m trying too hard or simply get on his nerves. Do I just do it anyways? I hate to feel like I’m bothering people but I definitely want things to work out with him.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 3, 2020 at 4:32 am
Hi Holly you don’t reach out the next day, you give it a few days, and lessen the gap gradually as you are talking more! Its great you got a reply though good work 🙂
Jessica L
December 31, 2019 at 4:01 pm
Hi there,
Where I’m from, the concept of “dating” doesn’t exist, it’s either a serious relationship or friendship.
So I moved to a new country and met a guy who made me a better person in all areas of life. We were casually dating for about 4 months and then he suddenly told me he doesn’t feel it anymore and that I’m acting like we are in a serious relationship which we are not. It was really painful, I did a no contact for 90 days and he reached out, saying sorry, saying that he was selfish and reminiscing on the good times we had. He didn’t really say he wants to try again with me but we met the next day and were intimate. The way he acts is really confusing, he kisses my head and forehead, holds my hand etc. I left the day after that and he send me a text saying “thanks for the time I spend with him, even though he didn’t deserve it”. I’m not sure if I should text him now or go into no contact again? I would be open to try this out again but his behavior makes it hard to understand if he wants it too…
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 3, 2020 at 5:50 am
Hi Jess so if you want to be in a relationship with someone you need to not sleep with them, or be intimate with them until you are “together” the fact you have been around him and intimate already you are going to have to make sure you do not allow that to happen again and explain that you do not want to fall into a friends with benefits situation with him. If he reacts in a way to tell you straight that he does not want a relationship then you need start dating casually – NO COMMITMENT and see how he behaves knowing you are spending time with other men
Dylan Imler
December 30, 2019 at 12:55 am
Okay so I did no contact and he kept texting me saying he misses me. We’d have a conversation and I’d end it early and the. He’d text back like ten minutes later. He asked me to come see him(we are long distance), but he wants me to know that we can’t just jump right into a relationship. I don’t know how to take it.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 30, 2019 at 10:17 pm
It means that he wants to take it slowly. So agree to meet up but make sure it somewhere public so that you dont fall into the accident sex situation. No commitment no intimacy. Meeting him and building up to being in a relationship again slowly
Atlanta
December 28, 2019 at 4:48 pm
I didn’t break up with my boyfriend and he is actually angry with me that he ignored me since october. But, we still talk sometimes, and we still meet. He still cares but clearly he doesnt want to show, and he keeps replying one word to me. I begged him to forgive me, and sometimes he just hug me and kiss me ((and there’s time where he secretly kissed my forehead)) but there’s time he just do nothing. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 29, 2019 at 11:36 pm
Atlanta, by the sounds of it you are in limbo if you are together or not, I suggest you ask him directly where you are at and if he says you are still together then you need to explain how you need to work on your communication skills as you feel he is still angry with you. If he tells you it is over you go into an immediate No Contact and dont reach out for 30 days minimum
Jumanji
December 28, 2019 at 7:38 am
I break up with my boyfriend 2 months ago and since that I never give hime times and begging him to forgive me. But, we still meet, he still watch my ig stories and like my photos but he just keep ignoring me. What should I do? Does the no contact rule will work? Or issit too late?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 28, 2019 at 11:48 am
Hey there, so not too late to start No Contact all you have done is caused the situation to prolong. Go into a No Contact for 45 days. Work on yourself in that time and read as many articles on this website that apply to your situation, also on YouTube Chris has many videos to help you know what to do to work on yourself and how to start texting phase with your ex
Dylan
December 28, 2019 at 6:39 am
Hello. So me and my ex are going through a complicated time. Take note that we are both guys and are long distance. But when were dating it felt so right. He told me I was the first guy he’s ever said “I love you” to in a short period of time. I’m the first guy he’s ever shared his location with. I can tell he’s madly in love with me, but I pushed too hard and had trust issues. We broke up like 2 weeks ago and I’ve been texting him a lot. Then I read this article and stopped texting him for two days. He then reached out on Christmas and said “I do miss you like hell, but I’m giving you the space I really think you need.” A day later I wasn’t answering him and he says “ugh I miss you,” and we’ve been having normal conversations ever since. I don’t really know what to think about it or what to do.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 28, 2019 at 11:51 am
Hey Dylan, so if you want to follow this program you do need to go into a No Contact and give your ex that time “apart” and let him miss you, it will do your situation the world of good if he starts to miss you, missing you means focusing on the positives about you, wanting to see you, starting to consider if they have done the right thing. So go into a No Contact and work on yourself in that time, he thinks you need that time to yourself so use this time to work on yourself where you think you may need to. Even if its metal space so that what ever you are going through to cause the complicated times, is not such an issue anymore
Hamdia
December 26, 2019 at 10:44 pm
I was linked with this by a closest friend.we dated for about six to seven months ,from beginning he told me he’s always busy with work but any little time he get we will make good use of it. Things were normal until a month ago I decided to try and change the rule that his busy( I stopped calling n texting if he doesn’t) then i think he felt I was ignoring him ,after a few days ,he called but I didn’t answer (I didn’t want it to look like I was already waiting for his call) so I return the call on the next two days then he never answer. I gave him some two weeks space , then called after then but he never answered , I texted him severally, no response then I decided to apologize fr my actions and still no reply and since those textses I never call nor text for two weeks now . But I’m afraid he has moved on and will never come back to me. Pls I need your help
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 29, 2019 at 11:39 pm
Hi Hamdia, it sounds like you need to get into a No Contact and work on yourself for some time, going from there you need to be prepared that your ex may not be ready to speak with you before then. In the mean time read as many articles on this website as you can that apply to your situation to improve your chances of getting you ex back and understanding what you need to do in this program
Kelly
December 24, 2019 at 4:12 am
Trying NC with my ex, but before I had started NC I had something that I need shipped to his house. At some point I need to go pick it up, but I don’t want to break NC!! How do I go about this? I don’t want to send a mutual friend to pick it up because I’m scared he will think I’m angry or something and will no longer try to reach out. What do I do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 29, 2019 at 7:06 pm
Hi Kelly if you are not able to wait until the end of your no contact then reach out and ask if you can collect asap but keep to that topic only