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Post categories
Noel
December 24, 2019 at 12:30 am
My boyfriend broke up with me in mid December after one year of relationship. I was in love with him but he didn’t want anything too serious. He said he wasn’t “made” for serious things like telling someone he loves them. But we had a great relationship and I could tell he really cared about me at first..
then after a few months he started to become more and more distant until the breakup point. He told me I deserve better and that he doesn’t feel the same way he felt about me when we got together
I really like him and want him to be part of my life… he watches my Instagram stories sometimes but I haven’t heard from him for a few weeks now. I’m doing the no contact.
What should I do?
Do you think it’s worth getting back with him? And if so, would it even be possible?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 28, 2019 at 12:12 am
Hi Noel, Im sorry we can not tell you if it is worth you getting your ex back or not, it is up to you what you want in your life, but for now you need to be in the No Contact until you decide. It is going to give you some room to make decisions and also work on yourself in that time so if you decide you do want him back you give yourself your best chance of getting him back by following the process
Savannah
December 23, 2019 at 1:17 pm
Hi! My ex and I broke up about a month ago and I just finished no contact. My situation is that we got into a really big argument the week before he dumped me and then he TRIED to break up with me the first time and I told him of we would actually talk about our problems we would find compromise and he said okay. Well the week after that he was wishy washy and then at the end of that week I confronted him about it and he said he wanted to break up because he hadn’t been feeling it for awhile. I let a lot of insecurities get in the way and he stopped communicating like he used to so we just fell apart. So we gave stuff back and I started no contact. I just recently started texting him again and I just worry about bothering him. He has responded in both positive and emotionless ways so I don’t know if I keep texting him will make him feel like I’m annoying him. I really felt like he was the one and he would tell me that I was perfect for him. I just want to be that girl again.
Sarah
December 23, 2019 at 5:01 am
I dated a guy for about a month and a half, it wasn’t a relationship yet but we had talked about it heading in that direction. I really like him but I held back a lot due to fear from past relationships and it blew up and made things really awkward. We slept together for the first time and then he didn’t contact me for days after and when I confronted him, he said it was because things were awkward and we didn’t click. I tried explaining and apologizing but he refused to meet up or talk more, saying he didn’t feel the same. I got really emotional and sent a lot of texts. The most recent being a memory text to which he didn’t respond so then I tried to smooth things over by saying I was going through a difficult time but I would respect him. It’s been a month since I’ve seen him. I feel like I ruined things and I really want a second chance because I feel like we are compatible and I developed feelings but I don’t know what to do now that I basically said I wouldn’t text him anymore…I’m afraid of doing no contact when we didn’t date a long time, but I know I have to take a break because I gnatted and likely look desperate. We don’t follow each other on social media or have mutual friends either. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 23, 2019 at 3:08 pm
Hey Sarah you can do a 21 day no contact and reach out again after but you need to work on yourself to be more confident and have a higher self esteem so these issues dont rise again if you do feel that things are distance between someone new and yourself then maybe that person isnt right for you because in the beginning it is supposed to be easy getting to know someone enough to be fun, not feel pressure and worry. Try not to expect too much too soon, the slower and more secure relationships take time its not a race 😉
Mckenna
December 22, 2019 at 9:21 pm
Yesterday was day 30 of my no contact. I only heard from my ex once at day 20 when he texted me a question about our dog’s vet appointment. I was originally thinking that I should wait until after the new year to do the first reach out since the holidays might complicate things, but I’ve also started causally seeing someone so I don’t know if it is better to reach out sooner so I know what to do about the new guy?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 23, 2019 at 3:11 pm
Hi Mckenna so it is up to you if you want him back if you are seeing someone else, but you are right reach out after the holidays not before as it is going to be difficult during the Christmas period to try keep the conversation on plan
Monika
December 20, 2019 at 9:07 pm
I had no fight, no bad breakup. He just changed I feel. Suddenly started ingnoring me and now he doesn’t even read my messages. I reached out to him few times, but he doesn’t reply at all. I have no idea what is happening, why he is behaving this way. I haven’t contacted him for last 8 days and trying to avoid contacting him. I have no idea what to do to make him talk to me. I am afraid whether he will ever talk to me or not.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 21, 2019 at 10:55 pm
Hi Monika do not reach out to him or reply to him for 30 days and then reach out casually asking for advice on something you know he would be interested in talking about
Megan Greyvensteinĺ
December 19, 2019 at 5:50 am
Hi EBR. I really don’t know what to do in my situation. In short I was blocked everywhere, and after 38 days NC I sent an sms to my ex thinking he wouldnt see it anyway. But then I saw shortly after I was unblocked on WhatsApp. We then chatted small talk for a while, and then he invited me over to a gathering he was having with like 10 guy friends. A bit later he said I shouldnt come because the guys were being quite rowdy and had been drinking a lot. A bit later he asked if I would come over the next day. The next day he cancelled and said he was going back home to his parents (he was looking after his brothers house). I then asked him what happened that he stopped house sitting and went back home and he didn’t reply. I didnt send him anything for a day and this morning I sent him a funny message. I’m so scared he blocks me again if I reach out, I did gnat him previously and acted angrily. I’m also scared to do NC again because I’m worried he’s upset I didnt reach out for so long. I’m confused how to proceed.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 22, 2019 at 4:31 pm
Hi Megan sounds like a lot of hot and cold on his part so I wouldn’t message again for a while if he does not reply I would NC for around a week or so, dont reach out over Christmas and see if he gets in touch with you first.
Aria
December 19, 2019 at 5:19 am
So my ex an I have been broken up for 5 months. I’ve followed all the advice, completed no contact and eventually he reached out to me. I became the inheritable girl, I did the ladder of progression for building trust through small talk, then story telling and so on. Anyway we got to the point of talking almost everyday and even driving 30 minutes to hangout on weekends. I was doing great, until I had an emotional relapse, told him I still love him, and am not happy. I feel like I have undone all of my progress and am wondering what to do now. Should I start over?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 21, 2019 at 9:40 pm
Hi Aria, what did he say to you? If he was really negative and told you that’s not what he wants then yes you do need to start over but this time you know you need to do some more work on your emotional control. He clearly has some interest in you to invest spending his time with you and travelling to see you
Leia
December 18, 2019 at 8:22 pm
Will NC work in a big case of Greener Grassy Syndrome? (combined with UG aas much as I can). How would affect NC (would be the first one, I’ve done small ones, for a week or a week and a half, just until he texted, he’s not my ex, it’s complicated) when it’s Christmas? I’ve been by him side all the year (by distance), t worst of his life and going NC just now… Will it empower the effect or should I wait till the holidays end?
I really need him to pay attention to me and right now he has a BIG greener grass syndrome, along with the fact that I’ve been playing the “being there method” very well. I’m NOT friendzoned (or I wasn’t, who knows now) but I need to be the exciting new girl, the most perfect UG. Can I get it? Will the NC during these dates be worse and make me loose him forever for not being there or will make him miss me more? What do you thing?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 21, 2019 at 10:07 pm
Hey Leia, so as you have not been in a relationship with this guy then you can do the shorter no contact, but yes no contact is goign to be really effective if you go into no contact over the holidays as he is going ot be waiting to hear from you over christmas and new year, so make sure you do not reach out or reply to him for either. Like you said its not been a relationship so all you can do is be the Ungettable girl to him, and basically be the better choice of women around him
Gianna
December 18, 2019 at 4:14 am
So my boyfriend and I had been together for 6 years.. We’re both 22 and met in high school and stayed together until about 2 weeks ago. He out of the blue ended things, weeks before I noticed he just kept not texting or trying to hang out, seemed like he was giving up. I kept telling him how it was hurtful and didn’t feel good on my end. Then he just decided his feelings changed and he needed to figure things out. He did this over text and refused to come over and talk, after being together 6 years. He’s really busy with school and new internships and getting ready to apply for Law schools soon. I feel blindsided and extremely hurt. I’m working on the no contact rule and haven’t reached out, and neither has he. I’m beginning to think he is never going to reach out. We didn’t fight too much, small ones here and there nothing major. Both always lots and very close with each others families, what is strange is that he just had bought a flight with my family and I for a trip on New Years Eve to my cousins wedding. Don’t understand why he would spend this money and want to come on a family trip one week and then the next he’s ending our 6 year solid relationship. Any input or advice is greatly appreciated, thanks so much.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 22, 2019 at 5:32 pm
Hey Gianna, its great you are sticking with the no contact so keep at it, you need to also remember to do the work to be the Ungettable girl which the information is in articles on this website and on Chris YouTube pages too
JayJay
December 16, 2019 at 3:18 am
Frustrated with myself.
Started no contact after a few months of being in the friend zone, and it seemed to be going well, one week in he texted to ask if we were ever going to talk again. I politely replied that I was sorry and not trying to be rude but I was taking time away to myself, he sent a smiley emoji and told me no worries. After two weeks of no contact, I caved and sent a hook text, and he responded super well and seemed to be so excited to message me back, sending lots of random excited details about his life. We texted 6-7 x/day for a few days, and then I wanted to wait for him to initiate. At the end of the week he texted “sup” and my heart sunk, so I ignored the text. The next morning he said “not going to respond or what?” and told him sorry busy with work etc etc and what was up. At the end of the weekend, he asked me to come to his place with his brother to eat, and foolish me I went over. It was a great evening and we had fun, and we talked about hanging out the next day. He asked me to text me my plans, and I told him to text me what his plans were instead. Needless to say, he never texted and so neither did I. A few days later I noted he removed a photo of me off his instagram, although it’s been up there for months since we broke up. Why is he deleting it now?? We haven’t texted since we hung out a week ago
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 16, 2019 at 11:54 pm
Hey Jay, so removing photos is usually an emotional reaction so he may have been feeling down at the time of the memory of that photo.
Hopeful
December 15, 2019 at 10:59 pm
My ex is 22 I am 20. He broke up with me because he wanted to have fun and be single, he said he didn’t love me as much as I love him. I’ve heard that he broke up with me because my anxiety made his worse. I’m not sure really. I tried to get him back for about a week, just asking him how he is. Then I wrote a letter and he wanted nothing to do with it. I haven’t talked to him since and it’s been 8 days. He’s going on vacation (I was supposed to go) and he brought a friend instead. Im really sad and having a hard time during NC. Idk if it is worth it or not. Will he completely forget about me while on vacation? I deleted him from social media because it was killing me. I love that man so much but I’m 99% sure he’s moved on. He’s my bestfriend and the love of my life. Please help me what should I do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 15, 2019 at 11:18 pm
Hey there, so you need to do a No Contact and focus on yourself for sometime, while he is going on holiday you also need to focus on yourself and getting over the break up. During the no contact make sure you are living your life spending time iwth your friends socializing and even go on a different holiday if you can with friends posting to social media now and again showing you are not at home crying over him. Read Chris’ articles about being Ungettable and how to show you are the best your ex is ever going to get. While also working on your anxiety and learning how to control your emotions and thought processes to keep you from having anxiety attacks
Marianne
December 15, 2019 at 10:12 pm
Hi everyone,
So this is my situation im almost done with NC i have a week left, my ex tried to contact me while i was doing it but like he stopped a week ago. Since then he didn’t try to contact me so i don’t know what’s going on , but he still checks on my social media.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 15, 2019 at 11:13 pm
Hi Marianne, well done with almost finishing your no contact make sure your first text is prepared just like Chris explains a curiosity text or a hook texts
Kat
December 15, 2019 at 6:14 pm
So after a whole mess of a breakup, and me gnatting him a little after the breakup with snapchat (which I stopped by the way) but he unfriended me four weeks after when I posted for the very first time in a while? He still follows me on Instagram and Spotify and is friends with me on Facebook, so I don’t know. Anyways, A couple weeks later, I made a mistake and slept with him, and didn’t talk to him a two weeks, and when I tried talking to him again, he keep bring up sex, and I kept defecting the conversation until I decided to end that cause I wasn’t about to be his free sex toy. Well, I started No Contact again, but now I don’t know how to approach trying to text him again. I already used the random question thing, actually, and he started to respond to me. And his responses were positive, but they kept going back to sex, so I kept dodging the bullet. Now, I just want to see how I can start talking to him again fresh after telling him no to the whole friends with benefits.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 15, 2019 at 11:05 pm
Hey Kat you are doing the right thing to follow the no contact and during which time you will give him the impression that you were serious about no friends with benefits situation. So when you reach out again youre going to be asking for advice and talking about his interests and stopping the conversation first. Not him. When you do speak if he brings up sex try to make light of it and change the subject, or just dont reply at all in the beginning