What To Do If You Have No Way Of Talking To Your Ex

77 thoughts on “EBR 002: What To Do If You Have No Way Of Talking To Your Ex”

Sohurt90

February 13, 2017 at 4:37 pm

My ex broke up with over a month ago. He still got me on full block. I think(not too sure) he unblock me from Instagram because when I type his name in the search bar his name pop out ( before it didn’t, but it doesn’t give me the option to follow him) . I’m still friends with some of his family members on FB. I was thinking why would he unblock me ( at least on FB) if he have his family telling him what I post( plus my profile is semi-public so he himself can check for himself). It been almost two months and he didn’t made no attempt to even unblock me. What other things I can do or should I just take the steps to moving on? I’m starting to lose hope. I don’t want to get back together I just want to be on at least speaking terms… I don’t think the jealousy tactic is going to work because my ex is not only stubborn but he a pro at putting on a poker face. Please help.

Ashley

February 28, 2017 at 10:14 am

@sohurt90
Hi kind of going through the same thing as you… how is everything turning out for you?
Sohurt90

February 20, 2017 at 7:17 pm

UPDATE: He block my number again 🙁

Why would he keep blocking my number and blocking it agin…. these mind games are killing me…. should I just leave it alone… why would he unblock my number in the first place? Smh
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2017 at 8:48 pm

time has to pass for you to see what more likely his intention is.. Because if he unblocked you because he realized it’s ridiculous to block you, he would be more friendly. But if it’s just for ego boost, he would more likely keep ignoring your or block you again..
Sohurt90

February 20, 2017 at 2:11 pm

Hi Amor!

So…. Although he still got me block on social media, but he unblock my phone number! I took a chance and text him ” Happy Birthday” and he responds back with thumbs up emoji with seconds. I text back you “welcome”. I ask him “do you know who is?” He said “no” ( I think he trying to play dumb) . I text back “interesting”. He text me again ” oh this is * inserts my name* ( Mind you he knows how I write and i text from my regular cell phone number) and I try to funny text him ” who that?” ( he know damn it me). After a few more exchanges( my fault for not ending the conversation. His last text was the sleepy emoji.

I have a few questions. Why he unblock my number? If he truly didn’t want to be bother why he unblocked my number? Why he trying to play dumb by acting like he didn’t know who I was because obviously he was waiting for me to at least text because HE UNBLOCK MY NUMBER ? I didn’t respond back to his text so when can it be a good time to write him back? I want to give him all the reaction that he not expecting. He probably expected me to call him and beg him, but I didn’t give him the satisfaction. I don’t want to play his mind games either, but I also want to play my cards right. Do you think he block my number again because now he got want he wanted ( ego boost) ? Should I just wait it out to see if he going to write me back because he haven’t respond back to my last text since last night. Should I take these as good signs?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2017 at 6:10 pm

time has to pass for you to see what more likely his intention is.. Because if he unblocked you because he realized it’s ridiculous to block you, he would be more friendly. But if it’s just for ego boost, he would more likely keep ignoring your or block you again..
Sohurt90

February 19, 2017 at 3:38 am

UPDATE: He text my mother’s and they had a small conversation.

Without telling me my mother actually had a small conversation with my ex! A couple weeks back ( the last week of January) he text her( mind you he had mine, my mom house/cell and my best friend’s numbers all block off his phone as soon as we broke up. Also he unblock my best friends number because she call him today and it actually ring. As for my number, I don’t know if unblock my number yet. However he still got us all block on social media (except for my oldest sister. He unblock her and send her a friend request)
Should I take these actions as good signs? Still, I’m not getting my hopes up too high. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2017 at 12:00 pm

yes, those are good signs! You have to risk getting hurt, because that’s the only way to find out if you can build rapport or move on
Sohurt90

February 18, 2017 at 2:17 am

I want to initiate conversation with by email( that’s the only place that he doesn’t have me block). His birthday is coming up and I want to at least try but I don’t want to be left hurt if he doesn’t respond or block me there…. how should I approach the situation?

SN:,Is it strange that he haven’t changed his relationship status on Facebook? It been almost since we broke up. Also, he still got my sister on FB and I strolling down his profile(from her account) and yesterday somebody ask him about me and he didn’t answer that person’s question under his status. He seen it because he liked that person comment about me. Also he person some recent things about relationships and missing that one person(this was two days ago). Should I take this opportunity to contact him via email him because I think in some way I think he misses me and it been over a month since I started the NCR and I give him time to cool off. I just don’t want to get my feelings hurt if he don’t respond or even worse block me again.
Sohurt90

February 15, 2017 at 2:29 am

Thanks!

I’m in the mist of just moving on, but I can’t help but have this feeling that he going to come around eventually( because he been going through a lot) . It’s not guaranteed which is why I’m taking the steps to just moving on. Should I just make my accounts private to make it harder for him to see what I post? Should I delete his family because I know they be telling him what I be posting? Or should I wait as time goes on? How long as I wait before calling it quits and move on without looking back? Two months?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2017 at 6:14 pm

It depends on you actually. You would know if you’re close to moving on because you will feel it.. It’s a process.. Basically you just keep being active, moving, that’s why it’s called moving on.. You don’t have to erase or unfriend them, just keep doing your own thing.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 14, 2017 at 4:23 pm

Hi Sohurt90,

although it’s not guaranteed,the advice above is the best step compared to chasing and other than moving on..So, if you think it would really not work, then yes move on.. if it’s just about talking, then later on when he’s sure you’ve moved in, there’s a higher chance of being open to being friends

Cp

December 21, 2015 at 9:59 pm

My relationship was so short but very intense. I met him while talking to someone else, and fell in love on a spontaneous trip to Vegas. We talked after that for about 2 months, and he called things off. after that I got him to come back and tell me he did want to be with me. we were together for 4 months after that, and then things went horribly wrong. he threw a surprise party for me and that night after a lot of drinking, him and i got in a physical altercation. that night he told me he was leaving and took all his things. me being me, ran after him. I even walked to his house at 4 am. he ended up leaving me and after days of me begging and pleading for him to come back, he has now blocked me on every single social media possible, as well as on his phone. I don’t know if I am still blocked, as i am scared to try again. I am now 7 days into NC, meaning the last time I have sent anything to him. Where do I go from here? please help, I would do anything to get him to come back to me.
laura

November 7, 2015 at 8:48 am

Hello chris thank you for your articles I am desperate please please do answer. I finished 21 days nc because he called me a lot during the period and he even called some of my friends to check on me. But heres the problem one of my good friend told him to not call me anymore or reply back because things will not work for both of us and that it is better for both. I messaged him after nc and of course eient get respond. He didn’t block me anyhow but I guess this is a form of blocking what should I do now I just found this out and don’t know what to do
Tina

October 9, 2015 at 11:07 pm

My ex blocked me on viber around 10 months ago and 3 days ago he unblocked me … To be honest I was shocked as I’ve been in turmoil about him for 18 months now …. Why would he unblock me after such a long time ?

Tina

October 9, 2015 at 11:24 pm

I need to give you more info about our relationship and breakup…My ex and I were together 7 years. He left to go overseas and work but I knew something wasn’t right I later found out he was cheating on me, my instincts were correct. I was devastated, he cut me off so drastically and so quickly, no explanation, nothing after 7 years together. We had a row a few months after that and I decided no more contact. 4 months later I get a text telling me he missed me, a huge part of him would always love me… He was still with the woman he had the affair with, we texted for hours, I was so happy. The next day he cut me off again, I was so mad I sent his girlfriend the complete chat log we had had a few days earlier… He blocked me, emails and phone as far as I knew and what’s app and viber… That was almost a year ago and a few days ago he unblocked me from viber…. 18 months of crying and feeling worthless and upset he blocked me and now this… I found out he’s back home now working but I’m so confused as to why he would unblock me … Your interpretation on this would be a great help to move on or hang in there.

blocked for good?

August 16, 2015 at 3:40 pm

I would consider it a “short” but intense relationship…we have spent almost ever day together since we first started hanging out during the first week of January (7 mos)….we have seen each other almost every day apart from a few arguments where we never stopped talking for more than 1-3 days tops (mostly by my persistence)…there was a point where we felt like we lived together. we discussed kids & marriage which a few weeks ago he said he no longer wanted. He cheated on me early in our relationship and when i found out he begged me to stay…i did take him back obviously and at first things were good…up until the last 2+ months….we broke up or almost broke up weekly. Tables turned he was withdrawing i felt like i was chasing…and yesterday (his birthday) seemed to be the climax.

he broke up with me a week or 2 (longest) but still was in constant contact i didnt take the break up seriously and slept with him….he treated me like a gf we went out in public, we were exclusive until one day he picks a silly argument., i react, then he says “are we even together?” which leads to a conversation the eve of his birthday. he begged me to leave it till the day after his birthday and i didn’t..i pushed it, i wanted to talk about it the day before his birthday, after resistance he obliges the “what are we” conversation…he tells me (for the first time even though we had “broken up” a lot in the past 2 months that he was done for good & we have zero chance of a future…it was weird because all the times before he would always say he saw a future still just cant be together now or if i listen to him more it would be good…or even “i dont know the future” but this time he said it clearly never having a relationship again, never having sex again. it shocked me. ultimately we had plans on his birthday a& i called him and ended up asking about what he had said about no relationship …bad move…he blocked me for the second time ever during our relationship (first time lasted less than a day)…didnt speak to me for his birthday at all…still has me blocked and said he wasn’t going to unblock me

the reason i’m even debating this is, though never to this extent he has lead me to believe it was over for good before and totally switched up, i’m 90% sure he still has feelings for me…but because he hasnt acted like this before…i& the blocking & his conviction i fear he is serious…I’m more scared of him never speaking to me/unblocking me than i am about never being with him again…its only been one day…but…any words?

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 9:39 pm

It’s only been one day. Try to be patient. These things take time. Do you still have access to texting him?

Mika

July 31, 2015 at 6:47 am

Hi Chris,
We broke up almost a month ago. I have not contacted him at all. Not because I was simply following the no contact rule, but I felt hurt enough not to talk to him. Therefore, it was me who deleted him from Facebook etc.. I did not block him, though. On top of this, now he lives abroad. Probably, he does not use the same phone number because of the move. If I am the one deleting, what would be the clever way to establish contact again? Throughout the relationship, he wanted to break up several times and each time I convinced him. He looked so convinced finally that he was talking about future with me. However, closer to the time he was about to move, we had a fight because I thought he was not sparing enough time for us. I kinda threatened him with breakup. Finally, he wanted to break up again saying that he does not like me and he wants to move on to the next person. Usually in all breakup talks, his excuse was “we are not gonna get married so we should break up sooner. I will be going abroad anyway”. Somehow, I managed to change his mind in a way that, as I wrote above, he was so into the relationship. The day he wanted to break up for the final time, he denied all our future plans. What should I do? I do still feel hurt. I am also confused, but a side of me wants to get in touch again. Thank you!

Chris Seiter

August 6, 2015 at 10:13 pm

Facebook is a great tool to use to get your ex back. I would have to recommend you unblock him and read how to use facebook to get him back. It sounds like he wanted you to reassure him that you wanted to be with him forever.

Anonymous

July 11, 2015 at 12:58 am

Hi Chris, Me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago. We have been together for 4 years and lived together for a year. Those 4 years we’d fight a little and I guess you can say over jealousy and just small things. Everything was fine meaning we were in love, we were engaged, etc. Well everything changed when my mother died and it was really hard for me. I’ve had bad dreams since she passed away and he was so good at being there with me and helping me through it. Well a month after my mom dies his mom ended up passing away. I couldn’t go to the hospital with him because I found my mom in her bed and his mom was already in the hospital and was already gone when he got there. That made him upset and I tried to explain to him that I did want to go and be there for him but with my dreams and with them dying the same way I froze. He didn’t talk to me all that day and the next morning he messaged me and said he stayed at his mom’s house. He came over that day to see me and he was very distant and I wasn’t feeling good, we been through so much that I was in depression. He barely spoke to me but he would watch me. Finally I asked him why he was being distant and he said his mom just died and I asked why he was treating me that way. His dad was with him. Well they were gonna stay at our house but there was no room for his dad to sleep so I said since there’s no room for your dad to stay here why don’t you grab some clothes and stay with him at your moms for a couple days, so he asked if I wanted to go and that time I had 3 dogs there so I couldn’t go with him to stay the night. He grabs clothes and says he isn’t happy here and we got into a fight and said he wants to be at his mom’s because that’s where he feels she’s ok at. So he grabs some clothes and starts to walk out the door. I was feeling depression bad that day and started crying and asked him why he’s doing this. That if he loved and cared for me he’d stop treating me like that. He said he just wanted to grieve. So I gave it awhile and texted him and asked if he was ok. He said no and I told him I was sorry that I didn’t go. That I wish I could’ve but it was too early. I turned to his mom when mine passed away. He said he needed time and I felt like being together for 4 years we should be able to work this out. That I knew what he was going through. He told me later that night that we were done. I told him that we were going through a lot and maybe he was confused. So I apologized a bunch for not going with him and that I felt really bad. Well the next day he came and got his stuff and moved out. So I asked him why he was doing this and he said he was done and that I wasn’t there for him. Well I quit texting him and the next he messaged me to tell me that he’s quitting on life that he wont bother me to have a good life. And I told to him to not give up to stop and told him to just come back home and he said he didnt want to that he wants to die alone and soon he didnt plan on working or doing anything that they’ll come repo his car and house. So I tried to help him and he didn’t want it. So I gave it some time and the next day I asked how he was doing and he said he’s ok and so I tried talking to him about everything and he said his feelings changed and that he was sorry and that he tried and that he wish he could be he can’t. Well at 3 a.m. one night he messaged me to ask about our dog and he said he missed her, but didn’t say anything about me. so that kinda made me mad because I took care of him and helped him with his mom. I said he was being selfish. I lost my home and had to take our dog to the pound, of course i gave it a couple weeks and still nothing changed. he said he wasn’t happy how any of it happened that he couldn’t change his feelings and didn’t want it to be hard, that his whole life changed and that he’s so unhappy all the time and tore up and that he didn’t know i’d take our dog to the pound. He said that it wasn’t just me that he ruined himself that he doesn’t have a job, and that he seriously gave up. He said I wasn’t there for him and that we were bad together. I told him he needed to get his job back or find a new job to ease his mind. The next day when I asked if he was ok he said no that he was going to take my advice and get a job. I said try to get your old one back and he said he tried but they wouldn’t let him. I asked what he was going to do with our house and he said he didn’t know and I told him that we both don’t live in it that I still have stuff in there and thats when he said sell it then. I didn’t say much after that except asked him if this is what he really wants and he said yes. So I gave it a couple days and asked if he got a job yet, he said yes he got a new job and the old one wanted him back. I was drinking trying to ease everything off of my mind and accidentally lied and told him I was at a party and that I was going to find someone else if he really wanted to be done and if he doesn’t care. He said no it’s not good for you and i asked what wasn’t good for me then he said it is good for me that he wished me the best and that he hopes I find what i’m looking for. I did to try to make him and jealous and see if he still cared. I told him I was giving up and he said he thought we both already gave up. I haven’t heard from him since. He blocked me and when I tried to see how he was holding up he didn’t unblock me. I have no idea what to. We haven’t spoke for almost 2 weeks now. I’m confused and I think he is to. A lot happened and losing our mother’s was hard. I love him with all of my heart and don’t want to lose him and I did contact him to see if he wanted our dog because the shelter was in crisis mode and he was on the killing list and still didn’t unblock so I called and left a voicemail and he didn’t say nothing. What should I do?

Anonymous

July 24, 2015 at 10:37 pm

Another update: He has a girlfriend, he drove by my house, we had a house right next door. I honestly have no idea what to think. I love and miss him like crazy but we were in a relationship for 4 years and a month after the break up he has a girlfriend. I have no idea when they started to date. im 21 he’s 28.
Anonymous

July 21, 2015 at 5:57 pm

Update: A week ago we seen each other. He wasn’t drunk at first, but he asked how I was doing and I asked him. We both said we’re doing fine. He said I hurt him pretty bad and that he still loved me and always will, he said he still cared for me. He was hot and cold. He started getting aggravated when he started feeling the alcohol and he said he had a girlfriend but graedb both my hands and held them and cried in front of me. He also said he had 2 jobs and works 6 days a week. After that day we haven’t spoke to each other.

Kris

May 18, 2015 at 10:51 pm

Hello Chris,
I am in somewhat of a sticky situation. We are 6 days post breakup. I am blocked on instagram and Facebook thus far. I am not sure whether or not I am blocked by phone or by email. However, I do not want to exacerbate the situation by finding out. I am initiating the no contact rule, however because I am blocked it doesn’t really seem as if I have initiated it. I would really appreciate your opinion regarding my situation, for it doesn’t seem to be covered on your website. What started as a big blow out fight really escalated…. There are now various factors in the situation that don’t seem to fill into the blanks in your guides. I attempted to add you to my circle on google plus. I really need your help Chris. Please get back to me as soon as you can.
Wotsip

April 26, 2015 at 8:15 am

Hey Chris, my ex blocked me everywhere possible except one place. I have proof he is keeping me there and didn’t just forget to remove and block me there. Is he trying to bait me into talking to him? He’s the dumper and been rejecting me since October. I havent talked to him since blocked, it’s been 10 days.

Chris Seiter

April 30, 2015 at 4:50 pm

Whats the place he doesn’t have you blocked?

Briiiii

March 29, 2015 at 10:47 pm

So i’ve come across an interesting situation, not that this has much to do with no way of contact. Anyways, ill keep this brief.

I had sent him a few snapchats a few weeks ago, they were not opened, instead i got “pending” aka i was unfriended. Not blocked, but unfriended. We still have our numbers and are fb friends so plenty of room for contact otherwise in the future, im not worried. Ive been nc since.

Anywho, where it gets weird. This morning I noticed that those snapchats were opened, then an hour later it said “pending” again, then after my rugby game it was back to “opened” and i just checked and now its back to “pending”.

So in short i was unfriended, friended/viewed, unfriended, friended again then as of now unfriended. All in a 8-9hr span.

Any clarification? I am absolutely stumped at this bi-polar behavior on his part. Or maybe im the crazy one for noticing. ;p

admin

March 31, 2015 at 10:03 pm

Haha to me it looks like your ex is spying on you.
Briiiii

March 30, 2015 at 5:23 pm

Update: I was friended and unfriended again. Hmm…

Jennifer Kuper

March 6, 2015 at 8:52 pm

hi..i broke up with my boyfriend who also happened to be my best friend 2 yrs ago. we were in touch on and off since he wanted to be in contact with me. i was the reason for our break up and it was a very painful one for both of us. however , i never stopped loving him but i never got the courage to go back to him and say sorry. i guess when i finally got the courage it was too late. i came to know that he recently got a new girlfriend whom he intends to marry.
i dont know what to do because his actions seems rough towards me now. i begged him not to do this to us and he just walked away. he still asks about me from my friends. i have stopped calling, texting him. but i just cant see him with anyone else.
i know he loves me. i know he thinks about me often. but he seems so determined to move on…please tell me what should i do? is there any chance for us to be back together? because both of us want it to happen but no one is ready to take the first step.
me

February 27, 2015 at 5:52 pm

I came here to say thanks… I had visited this site over a year ago when my man and I broke up. this helped me a lot to look into myself and into a man’s mind. Last year just before the year ended, we were back in love again and the quality of our communication has improved over time even if it is not on a daily basis. Though we are not together physically now, I know that we love each other and I’m grateful I was able to retrieve the love of my life. More power to this blog and I hope you can help more and more women to put their relationship at its best.
dee

February 22, 2015 at 7:44 pm

hi chris,
my ex and i broke up around 10 months ago. we dated for 4 years. everything was fine and normal. n i guess the reason for break up was that he lost interest and was effected by the grass is greener syndrome. so yes the mistake i made was going mad at him and being clingy. he did come back to me after a couple of days, but i dint accept him saying it wouldnt work. i guess i made a mistake saying that. i love him i truly do. but i was sure he would change his mind and hurt me again. quite some time after that he stopped contacting me. that made me miss him n i started contacting him n ended up being clingy. after that he blocked me out n stopped responding to me. we even made out a couple of times after the breakup. i guess that was a mistake, ketting him have me. n now its been quite sometime and he hasnt bothered to contact me. he just doesnt care because i recently met with an accident and he dint show up o talk to me after i was discharged though i contacted him a number of times. he picked my call up and when i told him about the acciednt he replied asying that he was busy with his friends aND hung up. n today i missed him so much that i ended up calling him up a zillion times and he called me back after an hour saying he was out with a friend n told me to not call him up n “trouble” him. is it possible for him to be dating someone o have a rebound after 10 months?and what if he is dating someone now. this question haunts me. he falls under the “bad boy” category but he was a angel to me for the past 3 years. i know he loved me. n i did try the no contact period inbetween which i even took a vacation to a place which would drive him crazy out of jealousy, but surprisingly NOTHING effected him. n now he’s been avoiding me completely. i feel beaten up. with him in my life i felt everything was together. now its just falling apart. i wonder if he will ever come back. n he is a very selfish guy. n he has been very rude to me lately. very rude. its painful for someone so close to just become a completely new person. infact inbetween our relationship we had broken up for a couple of months because he liked someone else. but it dint work out i guess so he came back to me like a puppy n i accepted him.but this time when he came back i thought by accepting him i would be giving him freedom to hurt me again and again n take advantage of my kindness and weakness. i’ve grown too much on him. n also can you please tell me how to appropriately BEGIN the no contact rule. thank you