Today we’re going to be talking about something that a lot of people ask me about and that is, “What is my ex feeling during a no contact rule.”
Now, if you don’t know what a no contact rule is, I have plenty of resources on my website, YouTube channel and podcast describing what that actually is.
But to give you a quick crash course,
A no contact rule is simply a period of time, where you’re ignoring your ex on purpose.
Now, this creates a lot of questions, especially around if it’s effective or not, and what happens when it is effective.
How does your ex act?
What are they feeling?
Well, that’s what this presentation is about today.
A Quick Word Before We Get Started
Now, before we get started there are a couple of things that I think you should do if you’re a newbie and you’re trying to get your ex back.
The first thing is to actually stop by my website Ex Boyfriend Recovery and take my ex recovery chances quiz.
It’s a simple two minute quiz that I put together that will ask you a lot of questions about your situation, when your breakup was and the circumstances around your breakup. Using that information I can actually put it through an advanced algorithm to give you an idea of what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back.
So, if you want to take that quiz all you simply have to do is go to my website or click the button below.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quiz
All right, let’s get started and talk about what your ex is feeling during a no contact rule.
The Five Stages Of Feelings During The No Contact Rule
When I was brainstorming how to present this information to you, I came up with kind of, an interesting idea and that was, breaking up the feelings that your ex is feeling into five distinct stages.
Almost like the five stages of grief, but in this case it’s going to be the five stages of “feeling” in no contact.
So, assuming a no contact rule is working on your ex, you’re implementing it, you’re staying disciplined, you’re not making any mistakes in breaking the no contact rule. These are the five stages you can expect your ex to feel during a no contact rule.
- Calm And Assured Of Their Decision (3 Days To A Week)
- Worry After They Don’t Hear From You (Week To 2 Weeks)
- Anger After They Realize They Are Being Ignored (2 Weeks To 2.5 Weeks)
- Confrontation About What They Lost (2.5 Weeks to 3 Weeks)
- Hope Of Contact (3 Weeks To 4 Weeks)
I feel like I should include in this conversation that a typical no contact rule will last anywhere from 21 days to 45 days depending on the severity of your particular situation. This means that every ex will react a little bit differently to the no contact rule. For example, sometimes stage one can last for two weeks while stage two can only last a few days.
But generally speaking the dates that I’ve outlined here are pretty accurate.
So, let’s take a moment and dissect what each one of these things means so that you can get in your exes head and understand exactly how they’re feeling.
Stage #1: Your Ex Is Calm And Assured Of Their Decision
So, stage number one is that they are calm and assured of their decision.
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They feel very calm and as if they made the correct decision to leave the relationship. Like I said, this will typically last from anywhere between three days to a week. So, when you’re doing a no contact rule for the first three days to seven days they’re feeling kind of, good about themselves.
It’s important to keep in mind that, really, they haven’t confronted their feelings just yet.
They’re still in that honeymoon period of,
“Wow, I don’t have a relationship to prevent me from doing this.”
It can be an exciting time for them.
Usually during this stage you’re not going to hear from them.
But if you do hear from them, and that does happen sometimes, you’ll usually get basic messages like,
“Hey.” Or, “What’s up?” Through texting.
Now, where things really heat up is with stage two.
Stage #2: Worry After They Don’t Hear From You
Stage two is worry after they don’t hear from you. Relationships are often defined by their patterns. This is especially true when it comes to communication.
Often when we are locked into a relationship with someone we get into certain communication patterns with that person.
For most pretty strong relationships that usually means you will text every day.
Well, when that pattern gets interrupted with a no contact rule you can start to notice worry within your ex.
Especially after your ex is thinking,
“Oh yes, he or she will break. For sure they’re going to contact me first.”
So, in this stage they begin to worry after a week potentially has gone by and they haven’t heard from you.
That’s when you’ll start to notice an uptick in checking social media accounts.
You’ll start to notice, they are stalking your Facebook profile and you may start to see them begin reaching out to you in this stage. And this is usually rare, but does happen, especially if you are on your social media game.
They can worry that you’ve met someone else.
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Now, stage three really ratchets up the tension another level.
Stage three is all about anger.
They are angry when they realize that you are ignoring them.
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They maybe have reached out to you a few times, you have ignored their attempts to reach out to you, or they’re simply angry that you’re not reaching out to them first.
This is a very common breakup behavior. So, there are a couple of things that you may see them do in this particular stage. Obviously they’re going to grow angry and that anger can create two different outcomes. Outcome number one is, they may just completely ignore you.
Some people when they get angry are passive-aggressive.
They like to ignore you.
The other approach, or the other thing that you may see start to happen is, they will start to text you.
And the texts will not be nice.
Something like, “Oh, you’re ignoring me now.” Or, “You know what? I’m glad I broke up with you.”
Things of this nature are simply a reaction to stage three. They’re angry. They’re angry that they’re being ignored. Things aren’t going the way that they thought they would, and they’re lashing out at the only person that it makes sense to lash out to and that would be you, the source of their frustration and pain.
Stage #4: A Confrontation About What They Lost
Now, stage four is where things start to take a turn for the better.
That is, a confrontation about what they lost.
In stage one I talked about the fact that even though they’re calm and assured of their decision, they really haven’t confronted their feelings just yet.
Well, stage four is that confrontation.
They’re starting to realize maybe they’ve lost you forever.
So, part of them potentially may have hoped that you would beg for them back after the breakup.
I know certainly, I have been through multiple breakups where I have thought this exact thing.
“I’m going to make her beg for me back.”
And when that doesn’t happen you begin to look at the person in a whole new light.
You begin to realize,
“You know, maybe I had them pegged wrong.”
And reactions also can vary here just like in stage three.
Some exes will get in touch with you to try to make amends for their outbursts in the angry stage.
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Take the quizThey’ll say something like, “Hey, you know what? I’m really sorry I lashed out to you. I was just having a tough day.”
And others can remain stoic and silent.
They can sort of, take the confrontation and say to themselves, “Well, you know what? I’m in a lot of pain here. I’m realizing that I may have lost this person forever, I’m scared to reach out and put myself out there. I’m just going to wait and see how things play out.”
These are the most common type of reactions you’re going to see from people in this stage.
Stage #5: Hope of Contact
Now, stage five is kind of, the fun part.
By this stage you’re about three to four weeks into the no contact rule. So, 24 to 30 days you have really stuck to your guns in the no contact rule. It’s really worked it’s magic on your ex and they start to hope that you’re going to contact them.
They’ve been through a rollercoaster of emotions up until this point. So, your ex really starts to shift gears here in hopes that you’re going to contact them. They may fidget and constantly check their phone to see if you have reached out.
This is an all throughout the day kind of, an activity where maybe they’re at work and they’re hoping that they hear from you.
And maybe it’s a false hope, and maybe they realize that maybe there’s a small chance that you will reach out.
So, every once and a while when they get a text they immediately pull it out hoping that it is from you, they check and see it’s not from you and they get angry and upset, because they realize they want you to be the one that’s texting them.
And also, here is where you’re going to see a huge uptick in social media stalking, whether that’s Instagram, Snapchat, or Facebook.
Those are the three most common ways that people will kind of, check up on you and see what’s going on. “Has he or she met someone else? Am I kind of, fool hearted here for hoping that maybe, they’re going to contact me? Are they okay? How are they living life without me?”
These are all questions that they’re wondering in their head, and the way to get those answers without directly asking you, is to go through social media. Also, you’re going to hear or see another uptick in hoping that they’re going to respond to their text messages.
So, you may start to see a flood of text messages coming in towards the end of the no contact rule as well. And those are the five stages that are most common with how your ex is going to feel after a breakup.
Brittany Upchurch
December 4, 2022 at 7:42 pm
Hey there, So my ex who I was with for close to a yr was cheating and lying to me. I had finally had enough and stopped answering calls and texts Oct 7 without warning. Nov 23rd he reaches out to me telling me he misses me and thinks about me and that it is time we talk.. I, however don’t truly believe this and just respond with ok. After that I don’t hear from him. A week goes by and on Dec 3rd he reaches out again. This time asking if I miss him yet. Which I replied “wow” because in my head that isn’t a way to start a conversation off let alone reconcile. Well I guess that must have upset him because then I’m riddled with nasty text messages about how he never liked me and I’m weird, and unattractive. Then followed by videos with him and other females and screenshots of conversations with other women. I’m completely thrown off because I broke it off with him in Oct and havent bothered this man. So my question is what do I do from here. How do you handle a situation like this. Because I have never had this type of response from a ex.
Coach Shaunna Nicol
February 24, 2023 at 11:47 am
Very toxic response especially when he was the one cheating, however did you tell him that you knew? I would say that you are better off not responding to him going forward if you have no intentions of taking him back.
Melissa Findlay
December 9, 2021 at 8:58 am
Hey
He dumped me on Facebook without in person on October 13 ( 13 is unlucky number) 2021.
We were different people, he writes on Facebook messager.
He wanted me to date someone better than him.
It’s painful.
He wants me to be his friend.
I turned him down the friend offer.
I decided to put no contact on Facebook, and mobile.
It has a month and 3 weeks. I haven’t seen him since Saturday 3 October 2021.
We meet at his friends but we were on zoosk online meet.
First meet was very interesting and nice.
He hopes for me to reply back, but I did.
But he didn’t get to know me enough. I felt that he wasn’t interested in me.
We act together ( we kissed each other) and we were nervous.
We slept each other. Sex was great, but one missing one was’ sense of humour’.
He has spark when I first meet him. He was gentleman and sweet.
Now he stopped affection and kiss me. He acts like he’s a friend to me. He stopped take interest in me.
I know it’s our relationship is in trouble.
I won’t forgive him for the connection, conversation and comfortable with me was gone!
We shared our plans and future together when we first meet.
Something changed him.
Faye
November 14, 2021 at 3:46 pm
Hi
I was seeing someone for about a month. I know it seems crazy to ask this question. I’m in my mid 40s and he’s in his early 50s. I can honestly say I have never felt the connection we had in all of my life. I know he felt that there was an amazing connection as well. We talked for hours (avg. 3-5 a day) and when we would see each other it was the same. He’s busy with his career and I guess I was wanting more. I feel I pushed him away as he broke up with me. Will the no contact rule work when it was such a short period of time? Will he come back?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 10, 2022 at 8:05 pm
Hi Faye, it is possible to get an ex back from a short relationship as there is not enough time to create any long term damage, I would suggest that you evaluate if this is the guy for you if he is not going to be able to give you the time that you expect and want from a partner. He ended the relationship proving that he is not going to meet your expectations. It is difficult as you were still early days and getting to know each other. If you do use this program to get him back I suggest that you take things slow and understand that he is not going to be free with his time for you.
perry caudill
October 8, 2021 at 10:10 pm
I really messed up the first couple of weeks, trying to get her back . I begged and pleaded with her to come back home .. I then told her I was sorry for being such a whiny man and I was sorry for a lot in our relationship .she is still very cold and distant and she’s told me our relationship wasn’t healthy . I just hope I didn’t wait to long to start the no contact rule ..
Krista
October 5, 2021 at 2:14 pm
Hello! My ex broke up with me by text one day when I was at work. I didn’t have any suspicions about the break up… and then BAMMM! My whole world just fell apart. I got the whole Shabam about we want different things to how I’m too needy and shit and that apparently he wanted to break up for a little while. I’ve been reading a whole lot of these articles about if there’s any chance in hell he’d realize the mistake he caused and come back. I started out not even doing the no contact thing. I maybe would make it 2, not even 3 days before I’d break and beg again and again (Calling/DMing/texting…) I’m am now blocked on everything except for text from as far as I can tell. Recently I found out through my Ex’s stepdad who I have kept in contact with, told me that my ex has been cheating on me behind my back. Since then, I finally sent my last text and have gone into my 5th day of no contact. Mind you he stopped texting me like 2 days after we broke up almost a month ago. I don’t know if I’ll have any chance left with him again because I do still love him very much. But no contact has definitely been helping me to heal even if I hate admitting it.
Jimmy
October 4, 2021 at 2:59 pm
Hi,
Last year we dated for around 7 months, then lockdown stopped us from seeing each other. I felt like I was taken for granted and went on a dating app as I had no idea when we would see each other again. She found out and immediately blocked me. I did not reach out as I was over it.
However, I was contacted 7 months later by her and she proposed we be friends etc… and then suggested to go out for a drink. She made the first moves on the date and it was like we’d never split up and we both spoke about doing lots of things together.
However, she wanted to see other people, I was fine with that at first. However after a few dates I realised that I didn’t want that and just wanted to be with her. I became very jealous and one evening forwarded her a text of a girl who was asking if I was doing anything that night. I wanted to prove to my ex that I had options but chose not to see anyone else. I also tried to call her and message her many times that same night.
She became very angry with me and threatened to block me the next day.
We remained in contact for a few weeks after this, however we didn’t see each other again and she was distant with me. I found it so hard to deal with and sent her a letter saying how much she meant to me etc… I soon ended up by getting blocked after drunkenly trying to call and msg her several times after a night out. Next day I sent her a brief letter apologising for my behaviour and that I wouldn’t contact her again.
It really hurt me but I was glad she blocked me in all honesty as I needed to sort myself out. My behaviour was pitiful and I’m ashamed of this. I came on far too strong and have since taken time to look at myself and am working on improving who I am.
It has now been 30 days since being blocked, I did send a text after 3 weeks of being blocked, saying I was ready to be friends, but no reply (not sure if it went through or not). I’m really not sure if she will ever contact me again, should I now leave her to contact me and just get on with my life? Or as recommended make contact again before the 60 days of no contact (when I was first blocked?).
I’m not sure if she is actually doing the whole “no contact” thing or is just pissed off with me to the extent that she has no intention of making contact.
Any guidance would be appreciated please.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 4, 2021 at 8:47 pm
Hey Jimmy, so I would suggest that you complete a 45 day NC from your last attempt of contact. This gives your ex enough time to think about reaching out to you if she wants to. I would suggest that in the mean time you begin to date and “move on” so that your ex can see that you are not stuck on her.
JJ Kadeem
August 24, 2021 at 11:12 am
Hey, me and my ex girlfriend broke up on 3 days ago. We were constantly having fights for the past couple weeks and breakimg up and getting back together. She saw something in my phone that she wasnt pleased with but i actually wasnt doing anything with the other females contacting me. She kept on saying that the trust was broken and we should move on with our lives and go out seperate ways. Despite, i always convinced her to stay for the past couple weeks. She wasnt putting much effort into the relationship as she used to and she always said that she didnt care anymore and just wanted to be done. I felt she was just speaking probably to hurt my feelings because if i asked her if she loved me she would say yes she loved me but that doesnt mean we should be together. All the times we broke for the past couple weeks i was the one to try and make amends between us. Like i said i convinced her to stay and just try to make thimgs work but we always ran into a problem. The day of the breakup, she checked my phone and saw that a female who we already had problems about contacted me again and then she started and then wanted the breakup. I tried to calm her down but nothing worked. We spoke the next day, and then i tried contacting her after that day and i didnt get a response. We were together for 1 year and 6 months. Im 22 and she is 23.
Lama
June 26, 2021 at 10:42 am
Hi please help me i am in so much pain.
My ex broke up with me few days ago. We have been together for 8 yrs now and have broke up 100 times but we always get back after 2 weeks. But lately he was being ignorate he didnt care much we were living together the last month but i felt he took me for granted and stopped caring so i tried to discuss it with him but he didnt want to discuss and said words like am a trouble maker and he doesnt care etc. so i asked for a time alone his reaction was that he broke up with me and just left.
He seems ok and happy and never sad or hurt. I started no contact but am not sure he still love me or if he will come back this time. Is he hurt ? Is it true that he doesnt care? Is it really the end this time? am lost and hurt and miss him though he hurted me with his ignorance and words but i still love him so much
Nadine
June 20, 2021 at 4:07 pm
Hello, I recently was “broken up with” but I guess we weren’t technically together. I’m not sure if your program will work in this situation but thought I’d ask. The backstory is he and I were together for just under a year and things were great until I got a job offer in another state. I think he thought I would turn it down and I truly almost did even though I had been working towards it for longer than I knew him, but he started pulling away and so I decided to take it. He was heartbroken and angry and ended it even though I wanted to do long distance. I reached out to him by text periodically over the next year to which he always responded back but was always short and disengaged. After a year I decided to cut ties and was saying my final goodbye when all of a sudden he wanted to talk, but just talk, again. We did this for about 5 months when a miscommunication lead both of us to stop talking for a year. After a year, covid hit and I just wanted to make sure he and his family were all ok so I reached out. He called me back almost immediately which I was not expecting. He said he missed me and we should never go that long not talking again. I was hesitant at first but we kept talking for a year now. We made plans to see each other again, as I am still living in another state, but again covid made this difficult and multiple attempts to do this didn’t happen. We talked multiple times a week for hours and hours and really worked hard on repairing our relationship. It actually was better than ever by talking so much, except never seeing each other was painful. We both agreed we weren’t officially together because the distance makes it hard but we still talked and made plans like we were together. Cut to 6 weeks ago when we started playing phone tag. I finally text him and say if you’re mad I don’t know what I did to which he responds he’s ” kinda seeing someone and she asked that we not talk for now… I’m not mad”. I’m devastated as I really thought we would eventually be back together. I was looking for a job out where he is, I finally got approved vacation to see him next month(but he didn’t know that when he sent the text) So I texted him back that this hurt me deeply but I can understand why the new girl wouldn’t want me around. I said I loved him enough to always want happiness for him and told him goodbye. I asked him for a goodbye back which he refused to say it he just said you know it’s never good. I’ve been NC now for 10 days, I’m not sure what to do next?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 21, 2021 at 4:18 pm
Hi Nadine, you continue with your NC for the next 20 days and work on yourself in that time, make sure that you read Chris’ articles about being Ungettable.
Renu
May 27, 2021 at 12:39 am
I am 26 and my boyfriend is 21. We had a serious relationship but with no future together from his side and there is someone else to whom I have to marry. Also we are living in other countries apart but I visited him on his call and we were happy together but he is suddenly changed which he does not admit but he is not the same person anymore. He says that he is always busy and pays little attention to me and I have to fight him every other day. He never shouts at me just listens to me but also does the same things. I feel not of being any worth in the relationship. He neither asks to seperate nor he agrees for breakup but also not being the same person as before. Last time, I asked him either to block me from everywhere or make all things right as before. He denied to block and also showing no love or care that bothers me. I said nothing and not texted him again but I also not heard back from him from 3 weeks. He is active on social media and seems happy and m not using any social media and also stopped stalking him . I know its always in his mind that I am the one who is supposed to text first but I am thinking if I would do, again I have to face that ignorance and stress because I am so much in to him.What should I expect.
Minerva
April 29, 2021 at 7:11 pm
I had LDR for 1 year(used to talk everyday & never had break up/no contact more than 2 days) . My ex & I started to have many arguments so I broke up. He was first calm then became very aggressive then apologised and now he’s quiet ,sending his friends to me to go back to him. All of these happened in 1 week and during it I kept no cantact rule. Did he just give up on me?should I continue no contact?is it a good or bad sign that all of these stages happened in just 1 week? I’m worried
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 30, 2021 at 11:33 am
Hi Minerva, if you want to follow this program then yes stick with the NC for 30 days. I would suggest that if he asks you to get back together and you WANT that then yes get back with him but explain that you both need to work on your communication skills in your relationship.
Lilly sorento
April 26, 2021 at 7:26 am
My ex left me for a rebound. Is still in relationship but contacted me for closure. We have been no contact for over 3 months. Do I still continue nc
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 28, 2021 at 5:31 pm
Hi Lilly, if you want to get your ex back then you need to read and follow the rules of the being there method.
Traci Kite
April 25, 2021 at 4:10 pm
My ex and I broke up in June 2020, but continued seeing each other until December 2020. I am pregnant with his child currently and we found this out in October 2020.
He began to see another person, but I am not sure exactly when because he never told me that this is what he was doing. I just found out about the other person in March 2021. I begged and pleaded for about five weeks and he kept telling me that I am giving the third party situation too much weight. He kept telling me that I am the one w/ the power and he needed time, etc., but I finally reached my breaking point. I took screenshots from the past 3 weeks and sent them to the other woman. He then texted me and told me that it’s over, he made his choice, he’s choosing her, etc. I texted him back and told him that I agree, it’s O-V-E-R. Neither of us have tried to reach out and have been in no contact for eight days. I will eventually have to speak to him because I am due in June 2021. I’m debating on whether I should allow him into the delivery room or not. I am conflicted, but I for sure want to wait the full 30 days before contacting him regarding anything at all. I feel like I backed him into a corner and that is the only reason that he texted what he did. I am a little angry that I had to go to such great lengths to receive a firm answer from him. I do still wish for a reconciliation, but I want him to be the one to take the initiative. In other words, if he doesn’t take that initiative, there will be no reconciliation. I refuse to be seen as needy (again) because that is how I spent the majority of our relationship, ESPECIALLY the last five weeks after finding out about the other woman. I guess I just want confirmation that I am doing the right thing because I go back and forth in my mind and for some reason, the NC is getting harder… not easier.
Buttercup
April 14, 2021 at 5:56 pm
We dated for 2+ years, (broke up once during that time due to his parents disapproval. After a month he couldn’t take it, stood up to them and fought for me back).1 month ago he broke up with me because he felt unhappy/lost sight of his goals/independency. He then bread-crumbed me for 3 weeks, contacting me almost everyday, being sweet, saying he misses me, and that he thinks we “might” get back tgh. I felt used (we were slept tgh 3 times during this). When I realized no progress was being made I told him to please respect me and that I need to go no contact to focus on myself and heal, and he respectfully agreed. 1.5 weeks into no contact he called me and texted me saying he just wanted to check in. I didn’t pick up or respond. I feel he is very hot and cold and cant control himself. Is this a good thing? Should I respond or keep ignoring him?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 21, 2021 at 10:24 pm
Hi Buttercup, continue to complete your NC and do not reply to him. You would benefit from following a 45 day NC and stick with it work on yourself in the mean time. Then reach out with one of Chris suggested text
Jen
March 25, 2021 at 12:11 am
My ex and I dated for almost 2 years. Ended things over a month ago. I did no contact and finished 30 days and didn’t hear anything from him or see any activity from him to me on social media but around day 25 he watched my Snapchat story for the first time since the split. Then from day 29-31 he watched my Instagram stories. Today (day 33) I decided to look at his Instagram for the first time and I saw that he removed me as a follower and stopped following me, also removed me from Snapchat. Why could this be? What stage? Is this a good thing? Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 9, 2021 at 9:23 pm
Hi Jen, I think you’ve misunderstood that when you complete NC you are supposed to reach out with a text that Chris suggests in his articles on this website and his videos on YouTube. As for your ex removing you this is normally an emotional response and he does not want to see what you are getting up to or let you into his either. It is not uncommon for exes to remove you while they grieve the relationship too.
Chloé
March 1, 2021 at 10:10 am
My ex and I were dating for 1.5 years. I’m 22 and he’s 21. He broke up with me last Tuesday (23 February) through WhatsApp saying he needs to find himself again and his own happiness. He had a lot going on, working 2 jobs from Monday – Sunday almost every week. Only having two days a month off. He wasn’t sleeping well lately and made a lot of mistakes on one of his jobs. He was also very committed to gaming and would even get anger outbursts if it did not go the way he wanted it to. He was never like this. He is overworked. Also in the last two months our fighting got worse and little irritations started to develop. And I got insecure about some things. I’m really not proud at how I handled these fights between us. He said he can’t do this right now because he’s so tired mentally and doesn’t know what his feelings at the moment are towards me. He wanted to be left alone and fix it himself to find himself again. Last Friday I called him because I couldn’t accept the fact he did everything through WhatsApp. We saw each other, talked and hugged when he said bye. I asked him if he would ever rule us out being together. He said he’s not going to rule out anything as he doesn’t know what the future might hold. I have not spoken to him since our last meet up. Should I do NC, and will it work in my situation to get him back?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 9, 2021 at 10:10 pm
Hey Chloe, yes NC can work but you need to be sure that you are following the advice about the Holy Trinity and being Ungettable in your sitaution.
Jessica Donovan
February 26, 2021 at 11:50 pm
Hi there. My ex and I broke up on Monday and I haven’t talked to Him since. He said he lost romantic feelings for me and that he doesn’t like me the same as he did when we first started dating. But said that he still wants to be in my life and wants me in his and that this isn’t a forever goodbye that he just needs space. But I believe the real reason he wanted to break up was because he was going through a rough time in his life and knew it was easier to push me away than anything. I feel as if he was starting to love me and didn’t know what to do because nothing happened that led up to us breaking up. I know he is the one for me because we have many things in common and he is my best friend. He hasn’t asked for his hoodie back or anything and I made him a bunch of things that are in his room. Do you think there is a chance we will get back together? Or what I can do to get him to come back to me.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 24, 2021 at 9:09 pm
Hi Jessica, I cannot predict this I am so sorry, but you can work through the information and apply it to your situation. This is going to give you, your best chance at getting your ex back – but this does mean that you start with a no contact.
Julieta
February 10, 2021 at 2:49 am
My ex hurt me a lot last year and even made me feel needy because I was just desperate for answers he wasn’t giving me. He finally said we had to be done to which I was devastated but finally respected it and went into no contact immediately. It’s been a little bit over a month and he reached out with a couple of stupid texts such as “say hi to your mom and the dog for me” “I’d like to see a pic of our dog if you can”. I wasn’t ready to talk to him and Im still not ready, so I kept ignoring him until he started to annoy me bc he wasn’t really saying much. I finally answered telling him that he’s hurt me a lot and that I’m finally feeling better and putting my life back together so that FOR NOW I can’t be his friend and that I need space. He said he understands and bunch of manipulative things he knows he could make me fall for before such as “I still love you with my whole heart, but I know I’ve hurt you a lot and didn’t deserve it” and then he goes on with it but not really apologizing or saying he’d like to amend things. Was I right to tel him to give me space? I’m getting anxious bc I really don’t know how I feel about him quite yet and that’s why I need the space but I don’t want to lose him.
Julieta Torres
February 8, 2021 at 10:52 pm
My ex hurt me a lot last year and even made me feel needy because I was just desperate for answers he wasn’t giving me. He finally said we had to be done to which I was devastated but finally respected it and went into no contact immediately. It’s been a little bit over a month and he reached out with a couple of stupid texts such as “say hi to your mom and the dog for me” “I’d like to see a pic of our dog if you can”. I wasn’t ready to talk to him and Im still not ready, so I kept ignoring him until he started to annoy me bc he wasn’t really saying much. I finally answered telling him that he’s hurt me a lot and that I’m finally feeling better and putting my life back together so that FOR NOW I can’t be his friend and that I need space. He said he understands and bunch of manipulative things he knows he could make me fall for before such as “I loved you and still do with my whole heart, but I know I’ve hurt you a lot and didn’t deserve it” and then he goes on with it but not really apologizing or saying he’d like to amend things. Was I right to tell him to give me space? I fear he’s not going to ever speak to me again now
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 11, 2021 at 9:00 pm
Hi Julieta, yes if they continue to text you and you do not want to hear from him or want him back then you are right to tell him to leave you alone. Keep in mind if you do want him back then you need to reach out before the 60 no contact day mark.
Koko
February 6, 2021 at 1:17 pm
Hi, my ex said if we wanted to be friends in the future, to go no contact and that was almost 2 years ago now and I’ve tried to msg and communicate with him now (even though he was the dumper) and I get nothing. He ignores me completely. He isn’t with anyone either. Not sure what his issue is with me. I’m starting to realize that he didn’t just want a break from us, he wanted a break up completely ! 🙁