61 thoughts on “What Your Ex Is Feeling During No Contact”

  1. Avatar

    jordan

    June 11, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    Gf and I dated few years ago and recently reconnected. Everything was absolutely fireworks for a couple months. talks of the future, family etc. then she got cold out of nowhere. She was married for 7 ish years and been divorced for a few years, but on and off with him all since. Eventually said she couldn’t commit 100 to anyone as much as she tried. Trying the whole no contact cause there was something real there and all our friends saw it and even said it was totally different. Just scared? Thanks

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    Kate

    June 11, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    Hi Chris, I was with my ex for 5 years but 3 months ago he suddenly called it off and moved back to his hometown. He had been suffering from bad depression for 6 months and stopped work and things were up and down with us because of it but I was always very supportive and right until the end he told me he loved me though sometimes would be uncontactable for weeks at a time because of his depression, saying he wanted to be alone. We didn’t live together.
    For the first month I sent a lot of texts and begged etc, all the things not to do and he barely replied. Then I bought your program which made a lot of sense and started No Contact, I just totally stopped all texts. After 2 1/2 weeks he phoned me and we had a long chat, just about what we were both up to, nothing heavy. And he invited me to visit him once he was set up in his new house, he is an hours plane ride away. I said to let me know when. A week later I didn’t hear from him and asked if I was still invited, he said yes he was just getting settled in. I started to worry so chased him a bit more and maybe put too much pressure on. Sending more texts and saying to let me know if he had changed his mind or had met someone. He replied eventually to say he would let me know when but wanted to be alone for a while.
    That was 3 weeks ago and last week I got a text to say he needed to go his own way. I replied but have not gotten any answer. His depression is still there, should I go no contact again?

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    Sarah Klump

    June 10, 2019 at 3:25 pm

    My fiancé and I have been in a long distant relationship for 5 years. We were dating for three and engaged for two. He is in the military and was recently sent to a station where he is out on the boat for two months at a time. When he is gone, our only form of communication is email. He told me for the past 6 months how lonely it is and that he needs me there in the same city, even though he knows that’s not possible because I have children of my own and live in a different state. I caught him talking to another girl in the military and they have been “hanging” out filling that loneliness void. He says they are “just friends” but I don’t believe it. To top it all off he has yet to get a divorce from his first wife who he has been separated from for 7 years. He was suppose to be getting a divorce since we met. I told him I could no longer make time for him especially when he can’t even get this divorce I’ve been asking him to get. He says he needs to time to think and put his life in order and is going to get the divorce and make things right but all of those are just words to me. He’s perfect in every way, except he can’t get the divorce and makes every excuse not to. I know he doesn’t love her or want to be with her, but seems like a commitment thing which is really weird considering her proposed to me! I mean why ask me if you’re divorced isn’t finalized. What should I do? Ignore him? See if he really means what he says and takes action? I’m so confused! Thanks!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 10, 2019 at 4:52 pm

      Hi Sarah…I think you should hold to what you told him about making time for him for his failure to carry thru with settling things with is marital situation. Perhaps some space and time will help him put things in better perspective about what is important.

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    Dana

    June 9, 2019 at 4:41 am

    Hi Chris,

    My boyfriend and I were dating for 6 years (living together for the last 3). We broke up a week ago. We didn’t fight and he’s been very attentive to me when I’ve needed anything from him during this transition process. I have been doing NC for 4 days now…I haven’t heard anything from him 🙁
    The problem we have is…
    He says he isn’t sexually attracted to me anymore even though he thinks I’m beautiful and that everything is great when we are intimate. Early on in our relationship he was unfaithful and I reacted very desperate and needy. I think that’s when the intimacy issue began and we’ve never really recovered fully.
    Everything else about our relationship is amazing. We are intimate in other ways and he is my best friend. We do everything together and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.
    He was recently planning to propose and got cold feet because he is scared that this issue might mess up our marriage someday and cause us to divorce. He says he needs space and that maybe losing me will make him feel like I’m the one. I’m moving into a new apartment this week and I’m terrified. Do you have any advice that could help turn this around?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 9, 2019 at 12:24 pm

      Hi Dana….sometimes giving each other some space is the right move and No Contact can be the right pathway. There are many elements in doing right and so feel free to explore my site or pick up my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”

  5. Avatar

    Wendy

    June 8, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    Is blocking him on fb a no contact strategy..

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 9, 2019 at 2:21 am

      Not really Wendy…I am not a fan of blocking. No contact is about so many other things Check out my Program – EBR PRo – for more details

  6. Avatar

    Patty

    June 8, 2019 at 1:54 am

    FOURTEEN years together (not married) and he started acting strange, pulling away emotionally and physically. I asked what was wrong, what did I do> why are you acting so strange and he responded with “nothing, we both know this has been going south for a long time.” I didn’t know any such thing, I love him so much, He won’t give me an answer to why he is tossing me aside like a piece of trash all of a sudden out of the blue. Everyone is in shock!! He told his sister he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. Just walked away like I never existed in his life. Ripped my heart out. It’s only been a week and I sit on the couch shaking and just trying to understand, can’t eat, can’t sleep. ( we don’t live together) HELP ME 🙁

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 8, 2019 at 1:12 pm

      Hi Patty….you are going to get thru this. Visit my website and read some of my posts and check out some of my Podcasts about personal recovery as that should be your focus now.

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    Mhysa

    June 4, 2019 at 6:18 am

    PLEASE HELP ME! My ex and I have been broken up for almost 5 months now. We talk everyday, still hookup and he says he cares for me still but in a different way. He broke up with me because he said I was too controlling and didn’t love our 1yo son (he was SN, I had a mental breakdown when he was born so he now lives with my ex’s mother.). 🙁 Is it even possible for me to get him back? He’s offered for my other 2yo son and me to move in with him, so we’re not living at my parents. Idk what to do. I’m still madly in love with him. He still takes me out when he has money but he’s been adamant about not wanting a relationship with me and gets angry with me if I get “sappy” or send him things in relation to our past history. 🙁 Is it even possible for me to get him back!? I miss our relationship and how sweet he was to me. He’s been so back and forth with his emotions since we broke up. He’s not sleeping with or dating anyone new. Should I start the no contact rule? I desperately need help. He said he planned on proposing to me but after our second son was born all of that went away. :’( HELP!

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    Bree

    June 3, 2019 at 1:17 pm

    Hi there, my boyfriend and i split up 2 weeks ago and it’s been a week and a bit since I last seen him. Both of us have broken the no contact rule, me once and him 4 times. We broke up due to his mental health and we were together just under a year and treated each other really well. We were and are head over heels. Then with one phonecall it all came crashing down. I’m wondering as he has no support system to get him through what he’s suffering with should I continue no contact, or text him every few weeks so he knows I’m here and that he’s not alone? We both want it to work but he’s hurting and it can’t work right now.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 3, 2019 at 3:18 pm

      Hi Bree…perhaps a little space – then checking in….then give some more space….then check in. Then re-evaluate where things are.

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    Mary

    June 2, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    Hi Chris. Ive done my NC only for 5 days until my ex reached out to me. The first time i didn’t respond, but i did the second time around. He insisted on being friends, but after he ditched me when he said he would go out with me for a coffee, i became angry, so i told him not to talk to me again, cause i realised that being friends would be too painful for me. What should i do now? Thanks, Chris.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 2, 2019 at 5:02 pm

      It best to tame that anger as you don’t need to go thru that pain. Returning to NC would likely be best move

  10. Avatar

    J

    May 31, 2019 at 4:01 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me earlier this week. He said that after being able to be home for awhile after school was over, he realized that his mental/emotional issues weren’t going away as he hoped and that my anxiety was making things worse for him. He said that he’s not feeling anything about anything because of these issues. He doesn’t think that both of our issues can be resolved within the relationship. I asked if he would ever change his mind and he said that he wouldn’t since he put a lot of thought into his decision and doesn’t see another way of things working. I wanted to try to work on things while still in the relationship but he doesn’t want to try that and end up resenting each other (taken from his last experience in a relationship where they tried to fix themselves in the relationship) because he rather end it now and be able to move back into a friendship since that’s what we were before. I know that i want him in my life and while i rather get him back, if that doesn’t work I’ll eventually become okay with just staying friends. We’ve been in contact everyday since the breakup because he said that he’d answer questions about his decision and things. It’s also extremely hard to not talk to him and he ends up just not replying because the conversations can go until he normally falls asleep, but he doesn’t say anything he just never responds until the next day after i ask him or bring up something else. I don’t know if NC will work in this case since i want him back but we also want to stay as friends. Will trying NC and trying to get him back work? Will it ruin any chance of becoming friends if getting him back won’t work? I don’t want to ignore him (though he hasn’t been the one reaching out) and ruin any chance of him being in my life. I want him in my life, but i want to have him back.

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    Grace

    May 30, 2019 at 6:41 pm

    My fiance and I were together 2.75 years (according to his calculations). He broke up with me at the end of 12/18 and we are separated and living in different states right now. He complained that I was yelling too much (which I insist were during specific times of stress in 2018) and thought that I would continue doing it the rest of my life. I have already apologized and tried to explain to him that I will change and keep my voice down and explained what he did to contribute to the stress – which includes not taking my concerns seriously and pressuring me. Since then, when I tried to work things out on the phone he would just go into loops and say that I have have to fix the relationship. It’s been 5 months, most of which he has been angry and dismissive. At this point, I feel my only recourse to go no contact and it’s been 8 days – starting 2 days before his birthday (he didn’t wish me one and was rude around mine). He leaves for a long international trip in one month. I can visit him before then, in his state, where I lived and have to return to work there or a nearby state, but not sure what to do now or which state to work in.

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    Anna

    May 29, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    Hello!
    My ex boyfriend of 1 1/2 years broke up with me a few days ago. Unfortunately I tried to beg for him back and nothing worked. He says he needs space and Is certain that he will never come back to the relationship. I’ve started the no contact rule and are only 1 day into it, but do you have any tips or any ideas on how to make this work? I’m just terrified of it failing, and I love him alot.

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    Cynthia Rose

    May 29, 2019 at 7:33 pm

    My boyfriend said he doesn’t feel a connection or feel compatible with me anymore. He still looks at my stories on Snapchat, but we haven’t talked since our break up a few days ago. I was thinking about the no contact rule and if it would work in this case. Because I don’t want him to completely lose every feeling for me. We were fighting the last week before the breakup and he stopped talking to me. Then, he ended things saying that. I begged for him at first, but I’ve been trying no contact for 3 days now. Should I continue NC?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 29, 2019 at 11:01 pm

      Hi Cynthia…i think it would be a good idea to continue NC. IF you have not picked up my Program (EBR PRO Bundle), then you should give is some careful consideration as i go through this whole ex recovery process in a comprehensive manner.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 29, 2019 at 11:01 pm

      Hi Cynthia…i think it would be a good idea to continue NC. IF you have not picked up my Program (EBR PRO Bundle), then you should give is some careful consideration as i go through this whole ex recovery process in a comprehensive manner.

  14. Avatar

    Curious

    May 29, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    Hi Chris
    I’ve been dating a man who lives 3 hrs from me. He has false excuses and I’ve called him on them several times. He turns it around and gets mad at me. I always apologize cuz it’s just easier. Today I told him I’ve had enough of his lame excuses. He recently started disappearing and then w/o me asking or expecting, he comes up w/a reason that makes no sense. I told him he owes me no reason as we’ve just started dating. He turns things around, yells over texts that he doesn’t need to report to me?? And that I need to check myself. I replied w/this isn’t worth it & I give up so bye. Being laid off temporarily I know he is under stress. He has a great side but it left w/his job. Do you think NC would work for us? Or am I wasting time on my 60yr old guy who is just wanting to plant his oats in many fields lol

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 29, 2019 at 11:02 pm

      Hi Curious…I think you should see the NC process thru to the end. Pick up my Program if you have not done so already so you are up to speed on this whole process!

  15. Avatar

    Naomi

    May 29, 2019 at 12:12 pm

    Hi,
    My ex of 2 1/2 years broke up with me. We’ve broken up at least 5 times over stupid stuff and this last time he said he thought we just wouldn’t work out (no cheating or anything bad, just lots of miscommunication I think). The first week I went back to him and told him things could change and we could make things better and that I love him so much. He didn’t answer my texts except to say that I should have said that when we were together. Then I said I’d be willing to let him go if he’s unhappy and he messaged me to meet up and talk but that his mind had already been made. Then we talked, kissed, and he said he wanted two weeks to see if it’s love he feels for me or being comfortable in a 2 1/2year relationship. Until then he asked me not to text him. He blocked me on snap and Facebook when we first broke up but now I’m unblocked from text.
    Any thoughts?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 29, 2019 at 11:05 pm

      Blockers often turn into unblockers. Stick with your ex recovery plan. Take a look at my Program if you need detailed guidance!

  16. Avatar

    Adurmi engtpi

    May 29, 2019 at 12:24 am

    Hey
    Me and my ex dated 2 and half years, we where not long distance relationship at the begining of our dated but now he gone another state to study. At first i asked him from break up because at that time I love him but not that much more than he loves me. I used to asked space and get break up only i started to think i love him too and goes back to him after 1 week and he accepted me and I started to love him more than He start to pushed away
    My ex broke up with me about two months ago and I call him alot after that. We still talking but it’s complicated. He usually tell me his friends (girls) name that he like her and will wait for her to love him back. I blocked him on fb and instae. He blocked me on calls and whatsaap but he keeps unblocking too. He talks some bad stuff to me like. My love for you has died long ago, doesn’t love me anymore, our relationship can’t work out bla bla this kind of things that’s really makes me hurt. Yes he picks up my call and he replied my text. He calls me too sometimes but his been telling he going out with someone else, he needs to drop her etc.. is it too late, that he has no love for me anymore…does this no contact will work…

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 29, 2019 at 2:37 am

      I think there is a lot of potential with no contact in many ways.

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    Keira

    May 27, 2019 at 11:00 am

    Hi Chris, thank you for your blogs they have been so helpful to me. My boyfriend ended things 5 days ago. We we’re together 6mths. in March he ended things cause we were both a little unsure what we wanted. We are both out of long term relationships that didn’t end good only a year ago. 2 weeks later he asked me to try again and wanted me to be his girlfriend. The last 6 weeks everything seemed perfect, he came to see me every weekend (we are an HR and half away so kind of long distance I guess). He asked to meet my work friends, invited me out with his all the time, told me I make him happy when he’s with me etc.etc. There was no indication that he wasn’t happy, the last few days before it happened he wasn’t texting as much. Then he ended things, said he’s not happy, he doesn’t feel as strongly as I feel, he is worried about getting into something that won’t work out again. I committed the Cardinal sins – told him I love him- begged – texted too much for a day – them after reading your blogs I told him I respect his decision and space is probably what’s best for both of us. I am have started the no contact rule and just saw that he has booked a holiday.. FML .. I’m presuming this will add to the no contact rule period. I took your quiz but what do you think the chances are of him coming back? All of his actions said he liked me, all of his friends told me he was mad about me, but he says different. I just feel in my gut this is not the way it’s meant to be.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 27, 2019 at 8:28 pm

      Hi Keira…yes, giving an ex space and time really serves you in many ways. If you are following my Program, I think you will give yourself a better chance.

  18. Avatar

    Smara

    May 26, 2019 at 1:50 pm

    Its been 6 weeks my my ex broke up with me and I have been following the NC rule.. but he hasn’t texted me so far but he keeps a check on my social media. Is he ever going to text back ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 26, 2019 at 3:16 pm

      HI Smara…so if you are following my Program…after your No Contact period is concluded, I advocate a method in how you can reach out first.

  19. Avatar

    K

    May 25, 2019 at 2:30 pm

    My ex broke up with me saying ‘i don’t love you anymore. We are done completely and forever.we are not mentally compatible.’
    First I begged a lot but he was pretty stubborn in his decision, then I left him alone. Now I am following the no contact rule. I haven’t intiated any contact. But since we study in the same college same class he has contacted me 2-3 times for study related things and have responded strictly but polite. Still I am on the no contact period and I am trying to improve myself. Is there any hope that he would come back especially when he has said all those things that I have quoted at the starting of the comment? Thank you

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 25, 2019 at 10:48 pm

      Hi K….so implementing the NC rule may be the right medicine so keep on track. Though, I would advise picking up my Program (EBR PRO Bundle) so you are up to speed on all the moving parts and elements with an ex recovery plan.

  20. Avatar

    Catherine

    May 24, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    Hey my ex didn’t block me on what’s app and I just texted him saying I’d give him space… will the NC still apply ? Because I was the one that dumped him. And I feel terrible about it. But I blocked him on fb. So the the fb part is abit irrelevant for me because he can’t find me on Facebook. Bur I’m still friends with his friends on fb. What do I do?

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