Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
Traits Avoidants Find Attractive
What Happens When A Narcissist Collapses?
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
Post categories
honey
March 29, 2014 at 4:50 pm
I have a question!
What would go on your mind if your ex gf sends you some semi erotic pictures of herself…showing him thats shes working out and beeing very loving and caring to you. Without any begging…just good mooded and loving. Hmmm because this is what I just did. I know I was desperate and sent him so many emails, texts and never got any response after 1 month of NC. So my questions are
1. What do you think goes in his mind about tge pictures (which were great btw haha)
Does it look very desperate in his eyes?
He always loved to get such pictures of me and couldn’t get enough of them so I think he misses it anyway
2. What to do now?? Another month of NC
I am blocked on several chats
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:22 pm
I would think she is trying really hard to seduce me.
Interesting
March 29, 2014 at 2:07 pm
I have a question for you Chris. The graph you showed us on the mind of an ex that bkocks us, I was wondering, I know there is no actual specific timeframe, but based on what you’ve seen on this site and other women’s experiences, how long does it take an ex to go through this procress? Just based on what you’ve seen. My ex didn’t block me but he refuses to communicate w/ me and I know hes very angry at me so in a way it is like he has blocked me. So im interested in this graph you gave us.
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:53 pm
Depends on the guy. Some guys it will happen in a week others a month.
Thats really the best I can give you. I know its not the perfect answer but its the best I can do.
Nic
March 29, 2014 at 12:26 pm
So… what do you do when your ex, who has been contacting you, caught up a few times and wanting to catch up on a regular basis, suddenly tells you that his current gf found something out about his past and is uncomfortable with your friendship, that she has said she’d be ok with it if we were to become acquainted, however for he and i to remain in contact, that would have to happen before or on, the next time we caught up. I had already gotten a text message from her, which blew me away, saying she’d found some stuff out that worried her about him and she was open to conversation/information, however i didn’t replay straight away as i was thrown for a loop to be honest and was trying to figure out how i felt about it. This text was a few days ago, i text my ex tonight to ask about a gift his mother had given his sister to pass on, and if he could get it and i could get it from him (i don’t really see his sister that much) and the response i first detailed in this message is what i got. Wtf? Seriously, the contact between he and i is sporadic at best, and mostly via text, there is nothing to it so i don’t understand why this all of a sudden. The only thing i can think of, is that she thinks i am a threat and i’ve no idea where that come from…
Julia
March 29, 2014 at 10:22 am
Wow saw this email in the morning after a somewhat fight with a guy and a sleepless night. That’s kinda a call back to come and read your guides, they keep me motivated. So the thing is he confessed he’s been cheating, I felt that he was lying, I couldn’t believe a word he says. He confessed he’s been cheating with more than one, he just said it like “I go to clubs now and there are several chicks ready to serve me, girls like me, I met this girl and that girl bla bla bla” he was so nice before, but his attitude now is jerk one. When he said it he put lots of smileys like “;) 😉 ;)” so idk whether its true or not but rly hurt to hear after all we had. Or does he try to hurt me? (again, he was nice before but clearly it seems to be he lost interest in me, when I say I miss him, he’s like “mm ok”)
So I decided to put him in NC. Wanted to do that earlier when he’s blocked me but being blocked is hard so couldn’t last..ended up aplogising for nothing (yeeeedammmmitttt!!!! HE must be the one to apologize)
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:50 pm
Good for you! Put him in NC!
Yu
March 29, 2014 at 8:19 am
Hi Chris,
My ex and I broke up for 1 month. When he broke up with me, i accepted. But one week later, i begged him, called him, texted him, and he had blocked my on phone and FB :(. Since he did that, i used NCR and didnt bother him anymore.
Worse is that we are classmate. We see each other everyday. Since the break up, he rarely attends school. I also do not intend to approach him.
Yesterday, after knew we registered the same class so he changed the school day to avoid me. I think he thought that i’m stalking him @@
Since he blocked me, i havent seen him, tried contact or anything. Why does he act like that to me?
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:49 pm
Wait, he is skipping school to avoid you?
Yu
April 2, 2014 at 7:12 am
Yes, i thought so. After i begged him, he disappeared one week. When i called him, texted him, we argued and he said he doesnt want me, need me or have feeling for me. then he blocked my phone & fb.
He disappeared one week, just went to school one day a week and i had to act that i dont care anymore.
Maybe he believe that im OK with it so this week he goes back to school. It’s so hard for me to act like i dont care 🙁
sandy
March 28, 2014 at 10:44 pm
Do all guys check their ex gfs fb profiles from time to time? Even if they unfriended you?
I think my ex is the stubborn type.. he blocked me.. i wonder if he will ever look at my profile, kind of doubt it right now 🙁
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:38 pm
Absolutely!!!!
Summer
March 28, 2014 at 4:38 pm
I did no contact for 30 days after an embarrassing breakup.. I was way too clingy at the end. But I kept in NC religiously until the time was up. then I texted him and he seemed neutral. he would reply a bit positively then stop. Then I posted a status on facebook expressing how worn out I was, it was about work but it was ambiguous and could be interpreted about life in general or him (STUPID MOVE!!) and he blocked me on FB! I got upset but entered into NC again. Then I noticed he’s blocked me on all chat apps that we both sign into every day (but probably not on phone, although I don’t know how to check.)
what should I do? this sucks.
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:29 pm
Well, as long as you have your phone unblocked that is a really good sign.
sarah
March 28, 2014 at 4:01 pm
The day after we broke up he deleted me off facebook, snapchat and instagram. Not on his phone as I was able to msg him about it. He said he doesbt hate me he just thinks we dont need to be fb friends..so I either annoy him/he doesn’t want reminders of me. He is meant to contact me to give my stuff back, and my birthday has past but he still hasnt contacted me. Its been 3 weeks. He still however talks to my cousin every couple days because he’s kinda depressed and most of his friends he had met from me. Im also fb friends with his mum. I really just want to be friends with him as I agree with our break up- we had an amazing relationship but after 10months realised we have no future as we have different values…. but im wondering what you think is going through his mind?
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:29 pm
How long has it been since he blocked you?
Melissa
March 28, 2014 at 1:23 pm
Hi Chris, I just want to stay “THANK YOU” for helping women all over the world dealing with breakup, you have no idea how much knowledge i have gained by reading your articles…Thank You!
I want to share my story..
After a nasty fight, my ex and i broke up..I was the one who blocked and i guess because at that time I wanted to make him feel the pain that I was feeling. I should mentioned that we are in a LDR as well..Anyways after logic finally kicked in, I realized that I was still in love with him and it was a silly fight that lead to the breakup..After a few days, I reached out to him, Of course at that point, he was still angry and didn’t want to talk to me and said it was over. Like everyone on the planet, being rejected makes you reached out more and I pretty much begged for another chance and his response was clearly “No”. But then something amazing happened,I found your site and read all your articles and I must say I was totally amaze at the things you mentioned. So I started the NC rule, not because I was desperate of wanting him back… I did it for me… to really focus on myself as a person and try to improve me and be the best version of myself, basically be a woman that a man would want and not a woman that want a man….
During the NC period I had an emergency and I had to contact my ex,we had brief conversation and he mentioned that the relationship was over but we can still talk. So i continue my NC and totally ignore his texts from then on…I am now in the last week of NC and he has been texting me every day for the past 4 days, I of course being true to NC just ignore those texts.. Life can be ironic at times, now I can’t help but smile because at one point that was me…the one reaching out. I am currently, working on my “First Text message” that i would sent at the end of NC.
I also know that him reaching out to me doesn’t not necessarily mean that me wants to be with me again.. So Chris, do you think I have a good chance of getting him back? I should also say that he is suppose to come to my country next month for a wedding, which we were planning to attend before the breakup.
Thank You Chris, you really empowered me in more ways that I can imagine…
admin
March 28, 2014 at 5:02 pm
I think the stars are slowly aligning… cant say you will get him back but you definitely have a shot.
Melissa
April 2, 2014 at 7:25 pm
Hi Chris, just an update..after NC and successfully accomplish the perfect first text…I spoke to my ex and he told me that he’s not willing to put anymore effort towards a relationship with me, because he doesn’t have the patience for one anymore and would not give me another chance… Yet after all that he texts me everyday asking how i am doing and when i ask him about it he says that I’m a good person..
Can you please shed some light on what you think is going on with him and do you think I better cut my losses now and move on….honestly, I am prepared to let him go but if there a chance to fight for it I am also willing to do it…
Thanks Mel
Clary
March 28, 2014 at 11:17 am
Hey chris,
It’s been two months since my boyfriend of 4 years left me. Before i learnt about the no contact rule i did all the begging, texting and calling etc for about a month which causes my ex boyfriend to block me on all social media including whatsapp. Today marks the 17th day of NC and i’m feeling so much better. He told me that he has no more feelings for me and had told me to move on. He broke up with me because i was too clingy, jealous and needy all the time. After our break up i bumped into him twice in the church however he rolled his eyes and walked away once he saw me.
We were happy most of the time and the only problem that caused the break up was because im not giving him the space he always wanted. His friends had told me that he is so much happier now.
I have been hanging out with my friends recently and following all your guide lines on improving myself. I’m pretty sure i will not be making all these mistakes again if my ex boyfriend ever wants to get back with me.
I believe he’s an angry and stubborn guy. Im afraid i will not get any respond from him after 30 days of NC. Do you suggest that i should do a longer NC instead?
admin
March 28, 2014 at 5:00 pm
What happened to cause the breakup?
Clary
March 28, 2014 at 5:41 pm
He said he was tired and bored of being in a relationship. He also mentioned that he wasnt happy being with me anymore. He needed the space to hang out with his friends and do whatever he likes (talking to girls etc). Ever since the break up he has been giving me the silent treatment thus i was wondering if i should do a longer NC before initiating contact again. What do you suggest chris? From what i understand he doesnt want to have anything to do with me anymore.
Juli
March 28, 2014 at 5:05 am
We broke up in good terms and had all to eventually get back together until we had a major disagreement and he blocked me from Fb, Whatsapp and Instagram. That was 7 months later. Every 30 days I would try to contact him by email and he would reply saying he wasn’t ready to reconnect. 6 months later I moved to my home country and before that I sent him a goodbye letter which seemed to have a good repercussion – he invited me for a coffee and all went well. He said he wasn’t mad at me anymore and even asked me to write him once I was in my country. We cuddled and kissed and I thought we’d at least be friends after that. Two months later, I am still blocked on Insta and Face and he hasn’t replied to my emails. Even today on my bday that I wrote him saying how much it would mean a message from him, no word back. What should I do? Although I still love him, I don’t want to get back together, I just really want to be in good terms! What’s going on and what should I do?
Juli
March 28, 2014 at 5:10 am
And on Instagram (which is on public mode) I have only been posting great things like you said… pics of me losing weight, traveling, doing things I love… If he does see it from other profiles, apparently it isn’t doing much on my favor anyway…
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:55 pm
PERFECT!
An ex boyfriend is like a detective. He will want to know everything his ex is up to. I guarantee you that he is seeing it somehow.
Juli
March 30, 2014 at 5:07 am
Eh, but I have done several “cycles” of NC for a month or more with few repercussions. Lately he simply doesn’t reply at all – not even to send me happy bday. Should I extend the NC for a few more months or give up for good? I just don’t get why he’s doing it when we finally seemed to be in good terms again..
Los Zapatos Negros
March 28, 2014 at 4:46 am
So my ex dumped me in Aug. We still hung out as friends for 2 months on occasion (no fooling around). So obviously he didn’t hate me. After 2 months I asked him if we could get back together and work things out and he said no. I told him I thought it was best if we just cut ties and move on with our lives alone. He agreed. I told him I was gonna remove and block him off Facebook so I could move on. He seemed annoyed but understood. Over a month later I calmed down emotionally and texted him. I got no reply. I then unblocked him and sent him a message on Facebook. He ignored the message, but deleted me off his Playstation friends list. He DID NOT block me back on fb tho.
Its been 4 months since I sent him that message. Even though its been a long time since I messaged him I am terrified to do it again because i dont want to be labeled as “crazy” or “clingy” after being rejected twice. My ex is a coward to put it nicely. I had to ask him out first both times we dated, I had to make every single first move in our relationship and outside our relationship, so I know he does not have the balls to reach out even if he wanted to haha. So pretty much it is all on me.
The only good thing is in the 7 months we’ve been broken up is he has not had a girlfriend, date, or really any girl action.
a) why would he not block me on fb if he clearly wanted nothing to do with me anymore?
b) is it possible he is too cowardly to reach out given how he rejected/ignored me and since he is kinda a coward?
c)should i reach out again or see if he ever does?
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:54 pm
Your name… zos zapatos.. it sounds like a mexican restaurant hahaha.
A. Maybe it hurts too much to look at your pictures.
B. It is cowardly and he may be a coward.
C. I don’t think it would hurt.
Ms H
March 28, 2014 at 4:37 am
I blocked his number, not the other way round after he told me to leave him alone. That’s what he wanted, so that’s what he got … I also deleted him off Facebook, and he messaged me asking if I did. I didn’t respond, so he deactivated. Now he’s back, but I’m not blocked.
I’ve been asked out twice by two different people since I initiated no contact. I’m going out for a drink with one, and I’m just chatting with the other. They are nice guys thus far. I’m not missing my ex. Not yet anyway …
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:53 pm
So, you did the blocking.
Well, good for you. You seem like you are moving on from him.
Ms H
March 29, 2014 at 8:36 am
Yes sir 🙂
And my ex sent me a happy birthday message via Facebook.
I saw it but didn’t respond … So he will see I saw it … 🙂
I knew he would, he’s to predictable but he’s also the type who’d do this … So I don’t think it means anything … Just him being polite 🙂
Kaitlyn
March 28, 2014 at 3:35 am
My ex JUST added me on snapchat and followed me on twitter today after 3 months of blocking. Those are both apps where you have to physically “follow them back”. Should I? Or should I wait a few days before? Also, does this mean anything?
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:51 pm
Wait a day before you follow back.It always means something.
Sabrina
March 28, 2014 at 3:31 am
Another great guide!
I have a little experience from getting in touch with mutual friends with an ex.. I asked a guy (mutual friend, he is one of my Ex Bf friends) to hang out get some coffee and play console games, he replied “see you at 5 and i will text you”. 5PM came and i got no message from him or an explanation until now lol . I assumed that he told my Ex about it. We are still talking but i never brought up of him stood me up.
2nd scenario is when my Ex Bf best friend hook me on a date with a stranger (i declined the offer) i told my Ex bf’s mom about it and 1 week later, there’s a picture of my Ex bf with the guy that i was supposed to have a date with! And the guy looked pissed in the photo lol
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:50 pm
Hahahahaha man that is interesting that you had those experiences. Word gets around doesn’t it?
sabrina
March 28, 2014 at 5:19 pm
It does! 🙂 , its so crazy! as you said “spread like wildfire”. Im still puzzling who told him about the Facebook status, he was very specific hahaha! He even asked our college friend to get drinks with him, tryna get him drunk and talk him out for some information hahaha 🙂
My ex is like “even we are not together I still know what you are doing..i…am…everywhere..” hahaha
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:27 pm
Hahaha he does better research than the FBI
sabrina
April 1, 2014 at 3:05 pm
I do have a question, based on these experienced i had a friend of mine told me his opinion, that my exboyfriend is just doing all these, not to get me back, but to check or to know if these men, he would like for me to date or be in a relationship with. I hope im making sense. What do you think chris?
sabrina
March 29, 2014 at 5:40 pm
All these i experienced is with only one guy (1st boyfriend; 4 year relationship). I dont know why he’s doing this, he choose her and their still together, got No contact whatsoever (for 4mos). I wish this still continues hahaha
Sabrina
March 28, 2014 at 3:36 am
3rd scenario is when i tagged our college friend on my status in Facebook on March 13, 10 days later my exbf message our college friend and asked if him and I go out on march 13. My ex hasn’t talk to him for 2 years! Lol It is impossible for my ex to see my status because it is private and were not friends only his little brother and some of his friends are my mutual.
Lexy
March 28, 2014 at 1:56 am
Hi. My bf blocked me from seeing his profile but we are still friends on Facebook and he can still see my profile… seems he just doesn’t want me to see how he is doing? ?
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:44 pm
Pretty much but you can use it to your advantage.
k94
March 28, 2014 at 1:02 am
I loved the guide.
Its been 5 months. Medium timeline heading for long…
I’m fine, still think about him and still miss him. But he’s established a bit of blockage. He has always been tempermental after the initial NC back in move me berm December now…sometimes he engages..sometimes he just doesn’t respond and nor gets back to me. The last time he made an effort was Jan where he messaged me out of his own accord and gave me a birthday pressie.
The last time I made an effort was very beginning of this march, he didn’t respond or get back to me at all…its just a little painful to keep getting rejected. I often thought he ignores me because he knows I hate that so its interesting that this was mentioned in the guide.
Of course i’d hope its because its too painful to talk to me 😉 but the break up wound is not fresh enough for him to carry such an emotional response anymore probably. However it was only Christmas he declared he still loves me and thinks about me all of the time, (seeing me made his feelings re-surface apparently) so I don’t understand how you go from that to being happy to block someone out…
I think I feel that every time I do message him and he has the opportunity to ignored me its that delightful moment for him where he’s like, “YESSSS. ASLONG AS SHE COMES BACK EVERY NOW AND AGAIN I KNOW IM WINNING” and it validates him.
So I decided to take a break from all social media so I could actually block myself out from all that reminds me of him directly.
I have came on Facebook for the first time in weeks the other day to post a bunch of pics at gigs with friends (seeing a band both he and I loved) and chilling with a support band that was there.
Unsure if that triggered anything for him – no texts. However I wouldn’t know about inbox messages seeing as I avoid Facebook now – stupid really but I get too anxious to go on Facebook in case I see a message from him..or worse, if I dont! Or if I came across some activity of his.
Currently living in ignorance and completing my Uni semester drama free!
Im not desperate for him, but he matters to me.
After 3 years together, I’m hoping he comes to he will come back around.
But I’m worried 5 months+ is a break up that might be becoming permanent.
Just working on being an UG – like I know I am, pshhh 😉
And with quite a few events coming up, I’ll be posting pics on Facebook of having a wonderful life, that wont look like it has an empty ‘his-shaped’ hole in it. Which it doesn’t necessarily, but its still a little odd that we’re really we’re broken up.
Anyway, Hoping to use Facebook to attract him again as the talking thing has stopped. 🙂
I have faith that it will all turn out the way it should.
Despite not employing these guides recently anymore and not persisting with wasting my time getting him back, I do appreciate them and love learning more. One day, someone who really matters in the long run will come along and I will know what NOT to do already ahead of time!
These guides have really helped me survive my break up. So glad I found this site 5 months ago now. Getting all DAT closure from learning about the situation I’m in 🙂
Thank you.
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:42 pm
Well, let me say that I am super glad that you stuck with me for 5 months haha.
You sound really healthy to me and I am proud of you. You are being very logical and smart about things.
k94
March 28, 2014 at 5:29 pm
Thank you 🙂
And honestly, its thanks to you that i’ve managed to reach a level of sanity and understanding. Its been a blessing.
Will remain an avid reader for aslong as this keeps coming!
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:31 pm
Thats the greatest compliment you could pay me.
k94
March 28, 2014 at 1:03 am
P.s love how my tablet’s auto correct makes me not make sense.
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:42 pm
Made sense to me!!!
Elle Miller
March 27, 2014 at 9:37 pm
Aye aye aye. FB blocked and unfriended for a couple months last summer due to him perceiving that I cheated. I didn’t cheat, but did have coffee and a doughnut with a male friend. Okay okay, one of my many male friend admirers. I was devastated. I still had his phone an could text and email. He was still very hurt. He finally unblocked and refriended me a couple months later. We stayed FB friends for another few months until BAM — unfriendeded. All I can say is that I actually felt when it happened. I thought “Something’s wrong with my FB!” But my smartphone was down, so I couldn’t contact him. By this time he had another phone number which he didn’t give me. First I resent a friend request, but thought about it and deleted it. We message each other, but I want more. He last asked if I was still single and said if I missed him. He said he misses me. I think he still feels hurt, but what can I do? Sometimes he messages back. Sometimes he doesn’t. How do I get him to give me his number?
admin
March 28, 2014 at 12:14 am
Are you blocked fully? Like on everything?
Elle Milller
March 28, 2014 at 1:32 am
I still have FB private message. No phone and no e-mail (that I can tell).
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:42 pm
FB private message is really good.
Elle again
March 29, 2014 at 3:27 pm
But how can I get him to give me his number? He saw my last PM (that I thought was pretty intriguing), but he didn’t respond. He’s being quiet right now, which he does from time to time. I’m remaining calm (pretty much). How do I get him to talk? Is he NCing me?
Elle again
March 29, 2014 at 3:39 pm
PS. I made my FB profile much more private. Was this a good move?
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:54 pm
Nope.. you kind of want him to spy on it.
honey
March 27, 2014 at 8:08 pm
He blocked me since 3 months now after the breakup. Our mutual friend texted me back that he knows he is still missing me and the connection we have but he tries to let it go the best way he can…(there were somw circumstances that forced him to break up but he was crying a lot when he let me go) Is there any chance? I am not blocked on email and I dont think he blocked my phone number. He just blocked me on whatsup and other chat. I know that he blocked me because its hurting him and he tries to let go, on the other side I know it wasn’t originally what he wanted. It were just the circumstances. I wonder how much of a chance you would give here that he unblocks me? In fact I tried everything. No contact didn’t work for a month though! *sigh
admin
March 28, 2014 at 12:13 am
Well, you can still get in touch with him. As long as you are careful about how you approach talking to him in the areas where you aren’t blocked you can work it to maybe not be blocked by him anymore.
Chris Seiter
April 3, 2018 at 1:56 am
Why hello!
Saanvi
March 30, 2018 at 10:29 am
Hello,