Here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery, I get a lot of questions as you can imagine. However, one of the most prevalent questions I get asked is,

“If I do No Contact, will my Ex forget me?”

The answer to that of course, is a big resounding

“NO.”

But of course, there is more information that goes along with that question. We need to look at WHY your ex will not forget you.

No Contact

So, let’s look at the first step of Ex Boyfriend Recovery, which is NO CONTACT.

For many, No Contact is a phase that instills dread. And it shouldn’t really.

The No Contact Rule works in several different ways. However, it is not my own invention. Many other relationship coaches use No Contact as part of their program. But there are aspects of No Contact that I feel they leave out.

First, no matter what the situation is, it gives you and your ex a chance to cool off.

For example, let’s say you’ve had a big fight and emotions are high. at that moment you are carrying around many different emotions especially. You love your ex, but you are so mad, that you hate them for that moment. Things are said in the midst of anger, when emotions are out of control. And sometimes, we say or do things that are almost impossible to fix later.

This is one of the main points I stress during No Contact. Time apart from your ex and the tense situation gives you a chance to get your emotions in control, some perspective, and get a plan of action together.

Whether it’s 21, 30, or 45 days of No Contact, it’s important for you to take the time to get your emotions in control.Why? Because No Contact comes to an end, and it will be time to get back in touch with your ex when you enter The Texting Phase.

Click To Pick Up Your Copy of My Popular eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”

Why?

Because No Contact will eventually come to an end, and it will be time to get back in touch with your ex when you enter The Texting Phase.

This second aspect of No Contact is equally as important. In fact, it builds up his anticipation for the two of you to have a conversation.

It’s very important to utilize this aspect. How do you build up this anticipation?

Well, by focusing on yourself, going out, and having experiences, of course.

But Chris, you say, How does this build anticipation for a conversation in the texting phase?

Patience Grasshopper, that information is coming.

But I need to stress, it is crucial that during No Contact, you go out and do things. Have experiences. Pick up new skills that you’ve always wanted to learn. Go places, try new foods.

In the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Group, we label this part of No Contact as “Becoming the Ungettable Girl,” or “Being a UG.”

Want to know more about being Ungettable Girl? Find out more about that here.

Is There A Chance Your Ex Will Take You Back?
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Social Media

Now, while you are out living your life during No Contact, it’s safe to say, you are going to be using all kinds of social media during this time. And if you aren’t the social media type, then now is the time to make yourself familiar, because it is going to play an integral part to stirring your ex’s growing anticipation.

How do I know this? It’s ingrained in our culture these days. You can’t go anywhere in the world now, without someone taking a selfie, posting to Instagram, or checking a feed for some sort of updates. It’s second nature now.

And you are going to use in the effort to regain your Ex.

So, How are you going to use social media to get your Ex Back?
Again, I say patience….

I often tell the story of how I met my lovely wife.

I have written that when I first met my wife, I sort of stalked her. I checked her out on Facebook to see what kind of person she was.

And when I got to her profile, I found out she was an awesome woman, with a lot of friends. And a lot of those friends were guy friends.

And even though we weren’t in a relationship yet, I found myself to be jealous. Because I saw that other people were getting to be around this incredible woman.

And I wanted that. I wanted to be able to get to know her.

I mean… Wouldn’t you? Look at her!

The point of my story is, your Ex is checking your social media. It just so happens I have done a podcast on this very subject,t(Using Social Media to Get My Ex Back Podcast. In this podcast I mention the following statistics:

31% of people posted a picture in an attempt to make an ex jealous.
88% of people check up on their exes using Facebook after a breakup.
64% of people over-analyze wall posts and messages from their ex
50% of people delete their ex’s picture after a breakup.
33% quoted a song/lyrics about their ex.

and most importantly…..
70% of people admitted to using a friend to check up on their ex’s Facebook profile.

You see this last one is important. It’s important because it works on some weird level in your ex’s brain.

Here’s why:

You go out and you become the Ungettable Girl. You are out having new experiences, learning new things; you are cultivating a rich and rewarding social life. And of course, you are posting pictures and videos like crazy. In these videos, you look great, you feel great, and you genuinely look like your having a great time. Smiling, laughing, and projecting a sense of confidence is what would be seen in these pictures and videos.

Why are you going to post and use social media to your advantage? Because more than likely, your ex is falling into that 70% that admitted to checking their ex’s profile. And notice that statement: “admitted to checking.” I would wager that the percentage of people checking on their ex’s social media and not admitting it is slightly higher.

Why is this important? Well, first you have to realize that during No Contact, you are laying the foundation or groundwork to get your ex back. You are getting your emotions in check and having the time of your life.

Out of Sight, Not Quite Out of Mind…

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Out of sight, Out of mind”?

Using social media during the No Contact phase is the main combatant of “out of sight, out of mind.” You may not be talking to him, but he’s definitely checking up on you, which means you are still on his mind.

This is exactly where you want to be.

Will he forget you during No Contact if he’s not checking your social media?

No, there’s emotions there that he either hasn’t come to terms with, hasn’t processed or a combination of the two.

But what you do need to show is that your life is great, with or without him, which in turn will get your ex to thinking,

“Gee, she’s really doing great without me. What have I done by letting her go?”

Recap

So let’s put all this together:

  • You have done or are doing No Contact.
  • You are posting pics and video like there’s no tomorrow on various social media of the new and interesting things you are doing.
  • You are looking and feeling your best in all these photos and videos. You seem to be the very definition of the most fun and interesting person in the world.
  • You have mastered your emotions and have “Let Go without Letting go.”

Do you see the groundwork you’ve laid? You will now have an abundant amount of stuff to talk about.
You want to know what your ex has been up to while you were out living your life?

The Male Mind During No Contact

We’ve actually already written a set of articles about the Male Mind at various stages of No Contact:
The Male Mind During No Contact (2013)
The Male Mind After No Contact (2104)
You should read them! The give you valuable insight to how your Ex may react during this phase.
But, we also have to look at the way all human minds reacts during a breakup.

According to an article written by Megan Laslocky, scientists have compared the levels of dopamine in your brain while you’re in love, to those of a person that have experienced Nicotine and Caffeine.
Notice that they tested alongside two of the most commonly used drugs on the planet – Nicotine and Caffeine.

What did they find? Let me give you a direct quote from this article:

” as far as brain wiring is concerned, when you’re in love, it’s not as if you’re an addict. You ARE an addict.”

The rest of the article, I must say is a little frightening, as it talks about a possible future pill that a person could take to get over heartbreak.I mean, come on. Everyone experiences heartbreak.

I mean, come on. Everyone experiences heartbreak at some point or another.
But not everyone has found Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro.
But I digress.
Now, as I’ve said about the No Contact Rule many times on this site, it takes roughly 66 days to break a habit. See the connection?

ADDICTION = HABIT

BREAKING HABIT = 66 DAYS

So even the longest No Contact of 45 days isn’t enough to get your Ex to forget about you.
The one thing you need to realize in your addicted brain… yes, your brain is addicted too… is that even if your Ex gets a rebound girl, he’s simply swapping one addiction for another.This is why rebounds rarely work out.

This is why rebounds rarely work out.

You on the other hand, during your No Contact, are doing a sort of rehab. You are focusing on yourself, not the source of your addicted brain.
This gives you the mental edge over the Ex.

So let’s put all this knowledge together.

  • 70% of people admitted to using a friend to check up on their ex’s Facebook profile.
  • The Human Brain is the same as a drug addicted brain when it’s in love.
  • The No Contact Phase is shorter than the amount of time it takes to break a habit.

Couple these facts with your new found Ungettable Girl status, and you have all the tools you need to get your ex to want to come back.

But it’s important to realize that you have to conquer your own brain and your range of emotions after the breakup if you want to succeed. Maintaining the habits that you had before your breakup, or hanging on to past emotional hurt and anger will cloud your judgment.

This creates a foundation before moving forward.

It’s important to enter The Texting Phase with a solid foundation and good groundwork laid. You have to be the one in control of the conversation.

Think of it like the movie, “Now You See Me.”One of the main characters says, “Always be the smartest person in the room.

One of the main characters says,

“Always be the smartest person in the room.”

When you enter The Texting Phase, you have to be the smartest person in that conversation. Which means you don’t let anger, sadness, and neediness control your emotions.

But you also have to realize that the possibility of your Ex not having control of his emotions will be a reality. So it’s important to keep all texts positive, and focus on positive things.

You see, what many women and men that have bought Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro find, is that the

No Contact Phase, that they were so afraid of, is not the hardest phase.

It’s the texting phase that is the hardest phase.

The Texting Phase is where you find out the hardest truth about your breakup.

No, your ex did not forget about you.Now, what are you going to talk about to keep his attention?

But now, what are you going to talk about to keep his attention?

I can tell you, especially after consulting with individuals in the Facebook Group, that ideas and strategies for texting your ex are limitless. Some make flow charts. Some script their texts. Some just wing it, and go with the flow that their ex sets. Not sure I recommend the last one, though.

Whatever your approach, the foundation and groundwork still have to be there.

You still have to have things to talk about. Not sure where to start? Have more questions? Those answers and help can be found in my other book The Texting Bible.

91 thoughts on “Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact”

  1. Natasha Pratt

    October 2, 2018 at 7:27 pm

    Hi Chris
    My other half and myself are in 2 different countries at the moment. He was supposed to have joined me but unfortunately that has not happened. We have a baby together that he has not been able to meet. I tried the no contact rule and he contacted me within a week. Which led us to talking. Everything seemed good. And then out of the blue he blocked me. I managed to get hold of 2 days later but he is extremely cold with me. I have asked him if he has met someone he says no. We were together 2 years and engaged. Will the no contact rule still apply in this situation. He has been like this for almost 2 months but we usually have a fight and then he will block me. We didnt this time. I did pass a comment about what he is up to but didnt mean it in a negative way. We are messaging but he is extremely cold towards me and seems to annoyed i am spending time with my cousin and children. Help

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 3, 2018 at 1:13 am

      Hi Natasha!

      Blocking you out of the blue is a red flag. He obviously has some things going on in his head and you are not getting treated the way you deserve. So yes, restart no contact. I have tons of info on the site about this principle. I even wrote a book, ‘The No Contact Rule Book”. It will help you in all sorts of ways to get thru this.

  2. Jessica

    September 18, 2018 at 8:10 am

    Hello Chris,

    My ex broke up with me about a week ago for the second time. it’s been a year since we’ve got back together and it was the best year ever there was no bad fights it was all normal and amazing. we’ve been together for almost 5years.
    this time he said he cheated on me with someone and he’s sorry because he and the other one started developing feelings for each other but now it’s over and he can’t continue in our relationship anymore. My ex was always afraid of commitment and mariage I think that’s why he broke up with me again. now i’m applying the NC should I continue with it? is it possible to get back together and not breakup again? I really don’t know what to do im really really lost. everybody tells me that he doesnt deserve to be back with him and that im going to be doing a big mistake.
    Do you think he will be back?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 19, 2018 at 12:19 am

      Hi Jessica!

      Some guys are like that…they run from commitment. Sometimes due to immaturity or fear of loss of independence. I do thing NC is the right medicine. Think about picking up my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. Its lengthy and really gets into all aspects of this process/principle.

  3. caz

    July 31, 2018 at 6:59 pm

    Hi Chris. my boyfriend and I recently broke up after being together and living together for 3 years. I kept NC after he broke it off by phone saying he was addicted to job and everyone in it and wanted independence and said he did love me once. I had to have LNC while I moved my things out and he text to say he made a mess of everything, he wished me happiness and was truly sorry. can I really get him back if he feels like that? Thanks.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 31, 2018 at 10:10 pm

      Hi Caz!

      My first though is 3 years is a good amount of time in which roots get laid down and that should be a positive going forward. Just know that while you are practicing NC, things don’t stand still. You are doing things to up your value and over time, most guys will come to miss their ex and look back at things differently, appreciating more what what you bring. Make sure you are following an ex recovery plan. My program lays it all out for you, so feel free to visit my site’s home page to explore my eBooks and other resources!

  4. Erica Brown

    July 31, 2018 at 6:07 pm

    Me and my ex boyfriend just broke up a week ago. He said he can’t do this anymore because I’m overly emotional and too dramatic. I suffer from borderline personality disorder and dependency disorder and I wear my heart on my sleeve so my emotions are very Dramatic. Every relationship I’ve ever been in has failed due to the guy cheating lying or doing drugs. For the first time in my life I found someone that loves me but he has been unfaithful by talking to other girls and flirting with them and I have a problem with porn but I recently overcame that. He has stirred up a lot of more emotions in the because I wasn’t able to forgive him and I was constantly suspicious that he was talking to somebody. My problem is that I overly communicate and he doesn’t communicate. That was our fall back he wasn’t very open with me except in the beginning but his constant lying about stuff drove me insane to where I would always talk about it and it would drive him crazy. I have acted like a 14 year old begging pleading and crying for him to come back and he says that he has to see a dramatic change in me before he even considers getting back with me. He said he wants to be friends and we’ve spoken almost every day some of it was dramatic some of it wasn’t. I want to incorporate the no contact rule but how do I do that now after I have realized my faults and apologize for them. I text him today telling him that I have realized what I’ve been doing wrong and I truly am sorry and I’m working on myself when is the best time to incorporate no contact because he thinks that we’ve been staying in contact because we’re trying to be friends. If I ignore his phone calls or his text messages if he does reach out to me what does that make it look like. Me and him have salt for the last 4 months because I’m overly sensitive and I need to get myself in check so I went to a psychologist and had help. I’m making small improvements but he just told me he couldn’t do this anymore which is when he broke up with me. How do I get him to miss me during no contact and how do I incorporate no contact now after I have been reaching out to him everyday since we broke up a week ago?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 31, 2018 at 10:17 pm

      Hi Erica!

      I know the breakup is still fresh in your mind, so healing and recovery initiatives are important. And it sounds like you are working on yourself and you should be proud of your efforts to become the best version of yourself.You might want to reach out to him and give him a heads up that you are going to go thru a “quiet” period of healing and therefor won’t be very communicative going forward. Go to my website homepage and you can read about all of the resources that help people formulate a plan of personal recovery and ex recovery.

  5. Radka

    April 21, 2018 at 8:14 pm

    My ex brone up with me at the end of January, we kinda tried again for another 2 weeks but he said it was too much for him and that he was donw with us. I tried nc but I managed to survive 1 week and I texted him again. He said that he wants space and time to forget why we broke up and to remember why we fell in loce and that he can’t give us another chance yet cause he is mad and sad and hurt. He also said that it is probably hard for me to just walk away but that it means a lot to him and that if I wanna fight for us this is the only way.
    He said he wants kind of break for 6 weeks, and that it might seem to be harsh for me but that he thinks it could help us to try to fund way back to eachother. Ut has been 5 weeks so far and I am freaking out, got into depression and am scared that he wont text me anymore (he promised he will and that we will definitely see eachother again cause I was important to him and it was his first real relationship and that nobody would ever fight that hard for him as I did and do). My friends are telling me he was playing me over and wanted to get rid off me in nice way. I met him today at the train station, idk if he saw me but I think he did and it was very painful for me to see him after such a long time. It made me realize hiw much I miss him and want him back

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 21, 2018 at 11:24 pm

      Hi there Radka…I realize No Contact can be hard, so don’t be too down on yourself for giving in after 1 week! And now that it has been going on for 5 weeks, its closing in on the time to initiate a plan of restarting communications. First of all, have you picked up a copy of my epic ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro (available at my website Menu/Products link) as it is the best Companion Guide out there in my view that can help you with what to do, when to do it, how to text, what to do if things don’t work out, etc, etc. It is important you also focus on your own recovery and that is covered in detail in all my ebooks. So go pick up a copy and consider the advice I offer in it. And drop on by here anytime to let me know how things are coming along for you. And by the way, if the pain of the breakup is still plaguing you a lot, consider keeping a journal and writing down your thoughts as that will help you with coping and gain some new insight!

    2. Radka

      April 22, 2018 at 5:42 pm

      Hi Chris, I got your book almost right after our break up. But I did those huge mistakes in between like begging and gnuting:(
      I am proud that I was able to manage those 5 weeks, I was active on social media, posting a lot of nice pictures, made new friends. But my ex deleted me from Instagram, he said it is painful for him to see me and that it reminds him the break up. I left my profile on public so he can see everything but idk if he was checking on me. He inky sae my snaochat stories a couple of times. I kinda have a feeling that he started something with his ex colleague. Maybe I am paranoid, he said that I shouldn’t be worried about other girls, that he just wanna be alone for now and focus on himself to get his mind free and remember the good stuff. I am very worried that he was lying to me and that he winr text me after 6 weeks are over and I am nit sure if I should text him.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 22, 2018 at 10:32 pm

      Hi Radka…thanks for picking up the book..Its a great resource, full of details and don’t worry about mistake you may have made in the past. Trust me, we all make plenty of mistakes when it comes to this emotional filled topic. Just stick with your plan and adapt as needed.

    4. Radka

      April 23, 2018 at 4:40 am

      Do you think I have right to text him after 6 weeks are over and remind him he promised to talk about it with me? Or should I just leave it? This whole break was his idea, I told him that if he us lying to me or wanna play me over he should just end it now and block me everywhere and he said that he would do it if he wanted to but he really wanna see what comes for us… I have never felt that bad in my entire life. I wish we could be together again

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2018 at 5:00 am

      Sure Radka…just follow the advice in the ebook. There is a texting schedule and strategy in there with examples.

  6. Kelly

    April 7, 2018 at 5:37 pm

    My ex and me broke up about 2 weeks ago. I have been with him for 4 years. He ending our relationship over a dumb reason, I think there is more to it and he isn’t telling me. I wasn’t doing the contact becuase he was in and out of the house, hes dog is with me, and actually our dads are best friend they have been since they were 15 years old and they live together right now. Every time I started to do the no contact rule he texts me like he knows I am doing it i told him it was best we didn’t talk for a while becuase are emotions are to high, havent talked to him in one day! He texted me the next day saying if I change my mind about us talking let him know also he’d understand if I didn’t. Well I never said anything to him. Then he texted me say he was sorry and I deserve to be with someone better who treats me like a qween and he was going somewhere else. So his dog will be happier with me. And just know that I will always love you. Please try to remember good stuff about me. Im turning the phone off I’m done with it. Bye – name here- im confused becuase he broke up with me!! I need help I’ve read all of you articles and have been taking you advice, bettering me! Do I speak to him? He is just trying to make me feel bad? Why would he if he broke up with me?

    1. Jennifer Seiter

      Jennifer Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 7:02 pm

      How long have you been in no contact? Sorry he’s giving you a hard time. When you do the no contact rule you should not tell him your doing it. It is more effective if it’s shocking and he wonders where you are.

    2. Kelly

      April 7, 2018 at 8:52 pm

      I have only be able to do the NC rule for a day. He keeps sending me texts, pictures of us. When he is the one who broke up with me. After getting seaval text messages of him saying he loves me and enjoyed the years we had and he will always love me I said ” your the one who broke up with me, your the one who said we can work things out. Why are you trying this around like I am the one who broke up with you”
      I think my ex is only doing this becuase he wants to make sure im still there even if we arent together, so he can continue to be single and do what he wants and he knows I’ll still be there if he wants to come back.
      But I am just scared if I keep ingroning him he will move on. I want him to realize I am not here unless he is with me.

    3. Jennifer Seiter

      Jennifer Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 10:15 pm

      Yes I can understand how hard that is to receive texts from someone you love and have to ignore them but try your best to follow through with the no contact. It becomes less effective each time you do it. It will help to remember no contact isn’t forever and you will talk to him again.

      I 100 percent agree with you. He wants you to be around as an option to him. The thing that will work on him is fear of loss.

    4. Kelly

      April 7, 2018 at 11:25 pm

      Okay I won’t response. One more question. I got in contact with an old guy friend again. Will my ex get mad? Will he not want to ever be with me again? Im scared he will think I have moved on. That’s not the case I just want to talk to my old friends again, and most of them are guys. Will this help my chances of getting him back or worsen them? Once we were watching a moive and I asked him if we broke up and I was seeing or talking to a other guy if he’d fight to get me back and he said no. Do all guys say that unitl it happends?
      Thank you for your help!

    5. Jennifer Seiter

      Jennifer Seiter

      April 8, 2018 at 2:23 am

      Sure, He might get angry. How will he find out about this guy friend? I don’t think you should use jealously just yet. If you can avoid telling your ex about any guys for the time being I think that would be advantageous for you.

    6. Kelly

      April 8, 2018 at 3:40 am

      Well the only way he could is through are family members (family is very close) or if he comes back to our house to get more of his stuff, see his dog abd sees the text or trieds going through my phone
      But I am not sure if he will come back, he is an ex addict and I think thats why he left me becuase he misses that life style and knows he cant have me and that life style at the same time. I feel like our situation is a little different then others becuase of our families also out dad’s live together. He could come back here at anytime becuase he has alot of his stuff here. I dont think he is understanding what he is doing, he has literally broke my heart. I have been there for his through everything, jail, drugs, his ex harassing me. I am more pissed off then sad. So I think the NC rule won’t be that hard. I shouldnt have texted him back. Now I have to start over. Our 4 year anniversary is in 2 weeks too, and my 23rd birthday( which has been a big deal to me is in May) what if he contacts me on our anniversary? Im sorry i keep asking things im just so losted right now and this website has kept me from going crazy.

    7. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 11, 2018 at 2:33 am

      Hey Kelly…I thought I would jump in. You are not going crazy. You are going to be fine through all of this. Use this time to heal. That is important. Then when your feelings settle in place, you will have a better idea how you want to proceed and be confident in yourself.

  7. Anon

    March 28, 2018 at 6:03 pm

    So he messaged me yesterday evening on day 38 of no contact. I was so happy as I didn’t think he’d message at all. He asked me how my exam went, how my recent trip went (I went alone but was supposed to go with him but he dumped me and he also congratulated me on being employee of the month). I hadn’t contacted him at all so he must have seen all this on my Facebook. I replied this morning saying “Hi, I haven’t got my results yet. I didn’t get round to walking Hadrian’s Wall but I’m planning on going back :-)” he hasn’t replied. If I don’t hear from him, when do I start messaging him using tide theory? Should I wait a day or a few days? I’m really happy. No contact really works! 🙂

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 3, 2018 at 1:46 am

      Check you out using tide theory and all that!

      Love it 🙂

      Ok, I think you wait a day.

  8. Anon

    March 22, 2018 at 7:22 am

    I’m on day 33 of 45 day no contact and I’m doing well as I haven’t contacted him at all and I’m active in improving myself and on social media. He doesn’t use social media though. He hasn’t even messaged me at all and it’s been 33 days. Is this normal?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2018 at 5:18 pm

      Hi Anon,

      Yup, it’s common.

  9. Shelly

    February 20, 2018 at 10:30 pm

    I was in a long-distance relationship and we have been broken up for about 6 weeks. I haven’t been able to do NC because every week or 2 I text him or call him to chat and it turns into me begging and pleading. I am so worried I’ve ruined it for good. Last time we spoke was 3 days ago and he told me I needed to let go and he didn’t see it getting better. We were deliriously happy until I let my insecurities and worry take the middle seat between us. What do I do? I am so miserable and heartbroken. I feel like I’ve gained so much perspective too. Is it too late to salvage?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2018 at 10:55 pm

      Hi Shelley,

      Either do the nc right for at least 45 days or move on..

  10. Summer

    February 9, 2018 at 5:32 am

    Hi! My ex and I dated long-distance for one year, we live 2000 miles apart. We talked every single day via text, Facebook messenger and FaceTime. We are both in our 40s. He came to visit me on three occasions. We have a lot of mutual friends because we volunteer for a national organization and I actually met him in person at a conference a year and a half ago. A lot of these mutual friends have been very excited about our relationship. We have talked about getting married and he really wanted me to move to his state because he has a son and he can’t move himself for over two years. We have talked about living here because the cost-of-living is much cheaper. I have not been to visit him in his home state because he lives with his parents and his mom is very strict (controlling) and has a lot of rules. I have no issue meeting and hanging out with his parents a few times, but staying with them and meeting them for the first time sounded really stressful.

    He came to visit me two weeks ago. We celebrated my birthday together and it was absolutely incredible. The following day, Day 4/9 we were talking about our future and he got upset because I told him I really didn’t want to stay at his parents house. He said that his mother really wanted to spend a lot of time with me and that she would get upset if I stayed in a hotel. I told him that it made me feel a bit uncomfortable – Plus I’m over 40 years old. He got really upset, broke up with me and said that I was disrespecting his mother. He threatened to go home. I was in complete shock because that has never happened before. I was hurt that he was considering his mother’s feelings over mine. Although I do understNd that he lives with her and she’s basically in charge of him, with her rules.. I am just beginning to think that he’s really at her mercy. He cried a couple of times but I got him to stay that night and the following day seemed to be going well. But we started talking about the argument from the day before and he basically flipped out about me disrespecting his mother again. He packed up his things and left. I was absolutely devastated. He still had almost 5 days left of his trip and had already spent a lot of money. I don’t understand why he came in the first place if he was that wishy-washy about our relationship. I thought we had a really strong foundation. I have never seen him act this way before and in the four and a half days he was there, he was very emotional the whole time. He kept saying that he didn’t think he’d ever see me again. He was an emotional roller coaster.

    He did text me two days after he left my house and said he made it home safe – but I didn’t reply.. I haven’t talked to him in 10 days now. I miss him so much! He is normally very active on social media but has been pretty quiet, he hasn’t deleted me or any pictures and hasn’t changed his relationship status. I normally don’t use Facebook much but I have posted on FB a few times since – fun pictures etc. I also haven’t changed anything though all my friends keep telling me to do so. I’m confused why he hasn’t deleted me? He really hurt me and a part of me wants to just delete him and be done forever, before he does it to me first. He kind of already has. . I’m torn if I should reach out to him at some point because I have written like 10 letters. Help…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2018 at 1:02 pm

      Hi Summer.

      Have you sent those letters? How many times have you broken up?

  11. Grishma Bijukumar

    January 28, 2018 at 11:47 pm

    Hi me and ex broke up in November and I haven’t spoken to him since as the breakup was too painful and messy, his birthday is coming up in March and I was thinking of ending the NC period then as I have an actual reason to message him. Is 4 months too long for NC? Has he already forgotten me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 31, 2018 at 1:48 am

      Hi Grishma,

      It is long but why did you break up? And how much did you improve yourself and how active are you in posting?

  12. Melanie

    January 17, 2018 at 12:39 pm

    Hello there.
    I need your help; my boyfriend and I broke up on January 1st this year – we had two dogs together. I have one and he has one now. I do really miss him and he texted me about the money I owe him, I responded to him, he seemed nice but cold at the same time. All I see is he is constantly online on whatsapp. I have made a instagram account for our dogs, he constantly likes the pictures on them but not mine on my facebook. I do feel so bad. I have such a weird feeling and I’m afraid he is not gonna miss me. Please help me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2018 at 8:23 am

      Hi Melanie,

      How active are you in improving yourself? It’s ok if he doesn’t like your posts, as long as you keep posting.. That’s your indirect way of showing your improving and not chasing.

  13. Sada

    January 13, 2018 at 8:04 am

    When my ex broke up with me I deleted him from Snapchat and Facebook. I don’t really post much on Facebook about my social life anyway because I have parents and grandparents on there and they don’t need to know about some stuff lol. But if I added him back on Snapchat, would that be breaking NC or making it less effective?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 15, 2018 at 11:43 am

      Hi Sada,

      It would be better to do it Facebook instead because your posts don’t disappear there.. Make a new account, and then in that account block your relatives.. so that when he searches your name, he’ll see the new account and see your posts.. so, that means you need to make your posts public.

  14. Shelly

    January 12, 2018 at 8:03 pm

    What if my ex doesn’t use social media? We’ve been broke up for 2 weeks — he completely pulled away because I became too needy and eventually he pulled away so far I had to do the dirty work and end it. I’ve come to so many realizations and have perspective that I constantly want to share with him. He is completely non-emotional right now. I know what we had was special. We were so close and happy until I messed it all up with my fears. Is this repairable? I don’t know what to do. :-/ I sent him an email last weekend and he suggested “meeting for dinner with time permits” but that sounds very elusive. Help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 15, 2018 at 12:54 am

      Hi Shelley,.
      You just need to make your posts public because there is a chance that he will check your account.

  15. chloe

    January 4, 2018 at 8:49 pm

    Hello

    My boyfriend of 8 years ended it over text the other day saying he loves me but isn’t in love with me anymore, he showed no signs of this happening and can’t give me any explanation other than he wants to be on his own, he swears to me that there is no one else. I’ve started NC but do you think it will work?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 6, 2018 at 12:18 am

      Hi Chloe,

      It’s not a guarantee that it will work in any situation, but it will help increase your chances.

  16. HF

    January 4, 2018 at 8:26 pm

    Hello

    My boyfriend finished with me over text about a week ago said he loves me but is not in love with me anymore and just wants to be on his own, it was so out of the blue but he said he has felt like it a while but didn’t want to hurt me, I texted so much abuse afterwards but have now commenced NC do you think it will work? And if so how long do I keep NC ongoing?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 6, 2018 at 12:15 am

      Hi Hf,

      it’s not a guarantee to work in any situation but it helps increase your chances.. how long were you together? And how many times have you broken up?

  17. Sandra

    December 30, 2017 at 10:24 am

    Hi,
    I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years. And he broke up coz his family was not approving of our inter caste marriage. He mistreated me a lot while explaining me to break this relation in the notion that I’ll hate him and that will be the best thing for me to move on. I however gave it time but he dint stop insulting me and keeping me badly. I finally one day when I saw him text a random girl blocked him on my whatsaap. It’s been a month he’s not reacted to that but has spoken to mutual friends about how upset he is. He stalks my profiles every single day. However I’ve made it all Private in the past week. Should I continue no contact? I don’t want to initiate speaking again at any cost until he does. Is he forgetting me if I make my social media private?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 10:26 pm

      Hi Sandra,

      it would be better if you make it public again.

  18. Linda

    December 25, 2017 at 11:30 am

    We have went on other trips other than the two mentioned. I had been able to address his stressing behaviour before when it doesn’t involve me. I feel like he is just being stubborn, and not wanting to resolve things. It has been 4 months since our original breakup. I am not sure what he wants. Could you please shed some light on this?

    Thank you team!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 27, 2017 at 5:58 pm

      Hi Linda,
      It sounds like he’s disrespectful but you see it as your fault because you were upset every time he tells you off..I think you should move on from him..

  19. Linda

    December 25, 2017 at 11:16 am

    Hi Chris, My ex and I have dated for 1 year and 3 months before we broke it off. I am a newbie, and he has had 3 short term relationships. Our main problem is that we have different ideas on how to communicate. I find it stressful when he stresses over new situations/ unexpected circumstances, or tells me off when he thinks I am wrong or to blame. Sometimes I might be, other times it might just be a matter of opinion and understanding of situations. There had been two days in our entire relationship to date that has set the tone.

    The first was while we went on a holiday where there were tight schedules with lots of activities and new adventures. He had felt the pressure and responsibility on his shoulders with assisting me while we went snorkeling, and started to tell me off about things which I felt was unfair so I had reacted indignantly. I know it was not my finest hour. I yelled and cried for him to understand and clarify but he just proceed to calling me names. We ended it a month after, but communicated daily, met every other weekend. We were on the road to recovery, until we recently went on another prearranged trip and something similar happened (I had wanted to talk and prevent things from happening, but he had refused to spare me the time). I know I overreacted, and said as much. He called me mental, and is refusing to hear or understand that there are triggers. I asked for his patience and understanding that I am not used to be told off. In retrospect, I think I overreacted due to the buildup of tiredness, stress from not being comfortable in deep open water, stress from his stressing and telling off. I really want to communicate that to him. He is however not listening, and had said since that there is nothing more to discuss because we are just friends. He definitely acted and said we were more than friends, and could work things out before the incident happen. However, he still wanted to meet to exchange presents. I have no idea why. Is there any chance? Should I do NC? I have done a week of NC before, and he was furious.

  20. Ms. Full of Hope

    November 20, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    Day 9 of no contact and I’m holding it together just for the simple fact that I’ve used this program before and it worked! And i want this to work more than ever and I know if i reach out i’ll have to start my days over with no contact…and plus i know the biggest thing is I trust it and i hope this time it works! Love you baby! I’m changing for both of us! I’m so sorry i wasnt the woman you deserved.

    4 years- &1 kid later… he met me when i first had my son and helped me raise him.

    Everyone out there trust in this program and still with no contact no matter how much you miss and love him!
    Peace!

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