By Sarah Drees

So many women come to our Facebook page and say,

“My ex said I was insecure.”


“My insecurity killed my relationship.”

Before we delve into what it means to be insecure, which is the whole reason you arrived on this article, right? I want to take a few minutes to talk about what it means to be attractive. Don’t worry, I know where I’m going with this and by the end of this article, I’ll bundle everything together nicely for you so it makes perfect sense. Today you learn how to tell if you are actually insecure and how to become less insecure.

Okay, let’s get started.

What is Attractive?

Generally speaking, something that is attractive is something that is “pleasing or appealing to the senses.” I got really creative and googled it for your guys. That is literally what it said.

So what specifically what` do guys find attractive?

Guys find a lot of things about women attractive.

We all know this right, though?

Guys like:

  • The way girl’s look
  • The way girl’s smell
  • The way girl’s laugh at their dumb jokes
  • All kinds of things. You get my point.

However, do you know what guys find more attractive than any of the above? If you said “confidence,” then you would be right! Guys find it really attractive, like REALLY attractive when a girl is super confident.

If you want to read more about how and why confidence is attractive and other things that men find attractive, we wrote several articles about what it means to be an “Ungettable” Girl here.

The Ungettable Girl

The 6 Things That Are Keeping You From Being Ungettable

How to Be Confident When You Feel Like Crap After a Breakup

What Men Find Attractive

Is There A Chance Your Ex Will Take You Back?
Take The Quiz

What Is Not Attractive?

Let’s play a really quick game. Next time you are on a computer, type out the word “confidence” and look up what it means to be the opposite of confident. Really, do it!

Okay, you don’t have to do it – I did it for you. Before I show you the results, I want to take a detour… yes, another one.

This time, I want you to think back to middle-school English class when we all learned what it means for something to be a “synonym” versus and “antonym.”

If you need a refresher, a “synonym” is a word that means that same thing as the word you are looking up. So, using the example of “confident,” a synonym would be “secure.” They kind of mean the same thing and are interchangeable. Got it?

A “antonym” on the other hand is a word that means the opposite of the word you are looking up. Well, guess what the opposite of “confident” is?


Don’t believe me. Below is the screenshot to prove it.

What can we learn from this?

Well, if being confident is attractive then, it would be safe to assume that being insecure is unattractive.

See, my detours always have a point.

What It Means To Be Insecure

We already know that being insecure is the opposite of being confident and is unattractive to guys. However, I want to dig a little further and talk about what it means to feel insecure and later we can talk about what you can do to feel more secure or confident.

While there is some truth to faking it until you make it, I want you to truly feel secure with yourself, not just to get an ex back, but for you.

Let’s be real, we ALL have things that we are insecure about. Generally speaking, a feeling of insecurity is an internal feeling of not feeling good enough in some way. Like you are lacking a certain something or a specific quality. To make this come full circle, feeling insecure is feeling “not confident” in one way or another.

Take me for example, for the longest time I was insecure about my height. You see, I’m only 5’0″.

5’0″ is also probably a slight exaggeration of my height too, but so not the point. I am always the shortest one in my group of friends, I can easily fit into large children’s clothing, and as for reaching for stuff on the top shelves… just forget it!

But here is the thing, I used to be really insecure about this.

Now, it is one of my favorite things about myself. I learned to shift my biggest insecurity into something I am proud of and something that I think truly sets me apart from others!

You can do the same!

Why Being Insecure is Not Attractive

Feeling insecure in your relationship sucks!!!

If that was you in your relationship, I feel you.

Insecurities of this kind can show up in some of the worst ways such as:

  • Being overly emotional
  • Constantly feeling “not good enough”
  • Feeling jealous or constantly worrying that your significant other will cheat
  • Always wanting more of a commitment

Insecurities, such as the ones above, can prevent you from enjoying your relationship or a particular moment. Worse, they can begin to chip away at what is otherwise a great relationship.

Signs of Being Insecure

Perhaps you are still unsure if you are coming off insecure or if any of your actions may have effected your relationship.

Fear not! I’ve created the below Insecure Reality Check(list) which covers common behaviors that are often associated with people that are insecure.f

I want you to read through the below list and count up how many of these statements you would agree are true or that you would agree describe you. No cheating!!! I mean it! This is how you tell if you are insecure.

Insecure Reality Check(list)

  • You feel the constant need to or you constantly do go through your significant other’s phone
  • You do not want to do any social activities without your significant other
  • You do not want your significant other to do any social activities without you
  • You often worry about your significant other’s previous partners
  • You want to know the passwords to your significant other’s accounts
  • You often cry when you and your significant other get into a confrontation
  • You often fear losing your significant other
  • You often fear that your significant other may find someone better
  • You want to know where your significant other is at all times
  • You fear your significant other interacting with anyone else datable
  • You text, call, email, etc. your significant other constantly with little or no replies
  • You often question whether your significant other is lying to you
  • You want to feel constantly reassured about your relationship
  • You guilt trip your partner when they do not call you or do not quickly return your calls or texts
  • You apologize as a means to avoid conflict or for small things
  • You’re overly critical or over analyze things you say or do on a regular basis

If you answered that three or more of the above statements were true, then it is possible that you are coming off as insecure. If you answered that six or more of the above statements were true then you are probably, almost definitely, coming off as insecure.

It is possible that your ex picked up on this and may have found this unattractive.

Don’t worry though, we are going to talk about a way to begin the process of reversing this so you can start to inadvertently convince your ex that you are not insecure.

I’m also going to provide you with a step by step plan to start the process of feeling more confident and going as far as to convince your ex that you ARE confident.

My Ex Told Me I’m Insecure

So the worst case scenario happened and your ex told you that you are insecure.


That had to have stung a bit.

Now, I’m going to have to give you some tough love for a minute because there are two main scenarios where an ex will call you insecure:

  • Scenario 1 – You were not insecure and he told you this in the heat of the moment
  • Scenario 2 – You were being insecure

Scenario 1

First of all if you think you fall into Scenario 1, I want you to double, triple, quadruple check that you are being totally honest with yourself. I would say that only about 5% of the people reading this article will fall into this category. It is far more likely that you actually fall into Scenario 2, or did something that caused your ex to think that you fall into Scenario 2.

Hey, no judging here. If you fall into Scenario 2, I’m glad you found this article!

If you actually fall into Scenario 1, you should move on from this comment that your ex made during this heated moment and do not let it get to you. A confident, Ungettable Girl, or UG, would not be bothered by this as she KNOWS that this is not true.

Your actions of not letting this bother you will speak more loudly than any efforts you may want to make to try to convince your ex that you are not insecure. Remember, actions speak louder than words so don’t tell your ex that you are not insecure, just simply show him by not reacting and going about your life.

Keep on with your confident UG-ness and proceed with the other EBR materials to get your ex back!

Scenario 2

So, you fall into Scenario 2.

Hey, again, no judging here.

If you fall into Scenario 2, you will need to take action to change the way that your ex perceives you. I’m not going to lie, some of the things in the list above may make this process a bit more challenging.

Let’s get started…

How Can I Convince My Ex I’m Not Insecure?

So, your ex told you that you were insecure and you may have actually been insecure and now you want to show him or prove to him that you are not insecure or that you are no longer insecure.

Remember at the beginning of this article and when we talked about what men find really attractive? You don’t remember? How did you already forget? No problem, here is a reminder:

Men find confidence to be really attractive.

You can use this knowledge to your advantage. Remember, being confident and insecure are opposites. The more you are of one, the less you will be of the other. The more confident that you are, the less insecure you will seem.

To convince your ex that you are not insecure, you will need to start by working on your confidence!

I know what you are thinking… that is great and all but you want specifics. So I’m going to give you a step by step outline on how to do this.

Ways To Be More Confident

I want you to imagine something for a minute.

I want you to imagine a small, dark, cloud. Now, I want you to imagine that the cloud is moving towards you. I want you to imagine that as the cloud is moving towards you that it is getting bigger and darker. Now I want you to imagine that the cloud engulfs you. You can no longer see. All you can think about is the cloud. The experience is overwhelming.

Now I want you to imagine that in a split second that the cloud turns translucent so you can see again.

Imagine yourself stepping out of that cloud.

Once you are out of the cloud, you are simply going to exhale and blow it away.

Off, it goes. As it is floating away from you, it begins to get smaller, and smaller, and smaller until if eventually disappears.

This cloud is kind of like your insecurities.

The feeling of being insecure is something that you can let in and it’ll make things worse. If you really let it get out of hand, it can engulf you altogether so that you can’t think straight.

The good news is that you also have the power to get rid of the cloud. You can overcome and get over insecurity.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Specific Things You Can Do To Feel and Be More Confident

As we talked about towards the top of this article, one of the biggest ways to appear less insecure is to be more confident.

So, I’ve compiled a list of some small things you can do to feel and be more confident:

  • Do something or multiple things that you’ve always wanted to do
  • Have your own interest separate from your ex
  • Meet new friends
  • Be independent financially
  • Find things you enjoy doing on your own
  • Seek the advice of a therapist if needed
  • Find ways to trust yourself
  • When feeling insecure, question your insecurity and if it is actually happening or if it is in your head
  • Practice self-care
  • Practice positive self-talk
  • Give yourself a makeover
  • Be kind to others
  • When feeling insecure, take deep breaths
  • Exercise
  • Make a list of things that you are confident in and keep this list growing

Now that you have a list of little things you can do each day to work on becoming more confident…

You’re welcome!

I’m going to give you a step by step guide to convincing your ex that you are no longer insecure!

Step By Step Guide To Convincing Your Ex You’re Not Insecure

I’m going to start this process off at the very beginning and assume that you have not yet completed a No Contact period or are in the process of completing your No Contact period.

What is a No Contact period? Check it out here. EBR also has a whole book on how to be as successful as possible during No Contact and you can check that out here.

1. Do a Successful No Contact

There is this quote I really like and I think it will really resonate with you.

Side note, I have no idea who said this.

Anyway, the quote is:


You can interpret this quote to mean a variety of things. However, I WANT you to interpret this quote to mean that confident people are silent and insecure people stay loud.

I want you to keep this quote in the back of your mind as you complete your No Contact period. Use this as motivation to NOT contact your ex at all and to stick to your No Contact period under all circumstances.

Reaching out during this time at all is just going to remind your ex of how you came off as insecure during the relationship. You want him to completely forget those feelings and giving him space during the No Contact period. Allowing him to do this and it will make you seem more confident in his eyes.

While you are in No Contact, use your time in No Contact to work on your self-confidence so that once your No Contact period is over you are oozing confidence.

Your ex will be attracted to your new found confidence and the fact that you have taken control of your life.

2. Show Yourself Off

During your No Contact period, I want you to really work on building up your confidence. Use a few of the methods we talked about above.

Then I want you to get comfortable with posting about your new accomplishments on social media.

For example, if you try something new that you have always wanted to do, let’s say rock climbing, I want you to post on social media that you went rock climbing and had the best time and can’t wait to do it again!

This will show your ex that you are growing as a person and becoming more confident in yourself and your abilities.

3. Have a Really Good First Text

Once you have successfully completed your No Contact period, I want you to send a really great first text message.

“Hey” is not a good first text message

“Hey, I miss you” is worse.

I want your first text message to show him that you are doing fine on your own.

If you need help coming up with a really good first text message, I would encourage you to check out this article. The Texting Bible also has really good texting ideas that you can use and adapt for your specific ex boyfriend and scenario.

For your specific scenario, I would also avoid “Memory Texts” and “Damsel in Distress Texts” as first text messages as these types of text messages could potentially backfire and reinforce, in your ex’s mind, that you are still insecure.

You can use these kinds of texts later, but only after you have convinced your ex that you are a confident, UG, rockstar!

3. Text Him With Confidence

While you are building rapport and moving along through the texting phase, I want you to keep the tips above in mind.

Each and every text should have a point.

No, you are still not allowed to text him “Hey.”

Each and every one of your texts should be awesome and oozing with confidence.

I also want you to keep up with doing things to build up your confidence and posting about it on social media. You can read more about that here.

Another thing to master during this phase is to be prepared to react confidently in all scenarios. Especially, those scenarios where you may have reacted insecurely before.

This is so important and this is where you are truly going to be able to start convincing your ex that you are not insecure.

For example, if you used to get upset and gnat your ex when he wouldn’t call you after work then you need to change your approach and not get upset and gnat him if he does this again.

It is important during this phase to SHOW him that you have changed.

Take a look at the below screenshots:

Screenshot 1 is how an insecure person would react in the above example.

Screenshot 2 and 3 shows two options of how a secure person would react.

Do you see the difference. You need to try to be Screenshot 2 or 3.

5. Ooze Confidence During Your First Meet Up

Now, if you’ve been doing a good job with the steps above, it is likely that your ex is going to want to meet up with you to be around the all-new-confident-you!

When you do get this meet up, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

  • Do not be too available – when arranging the meet up, do not be available at any time or at every time that he offers. Remember, you are now confident and UG and you have your own life and activities. These should have you way too busy to accept a last minute invite or to be overly available for whenever he is. Don’t be afraid to turn him down if you are not available. Don’t you dare cancel your plans to meet up with him at the last minute!!! And you definitely don’t owe him a blow-by-blow account of your schedule.
  • Look really good – look super hot! You want him to literally think that you are a new person! Don’t overdo it to the point where you don’t feel confident in yourself or like yourself, but make him eat his heart out. And don’t look like you are trying “too hard.” Think beautiful and effortless.
  • Stay Calm – it is very likely that you are going to have a lot of nerves surrounding your first meet up. This is normal. However, don’t let these nerves get the best of you. Whether the meet up goes really awesome or really bad the EBR team has your back. Either way, it is not the end of the world. So don’t psych yourself out.
  • Don’t be afraid to brag a little; but don’t brag too much – don’t be shy about talking about all the things that you’ve accomplished during your No Contact period however, don’t go overboard. Otherwise, you run the risk of this coming off as fake or braggy, and you don’t want that!
  • Don’t ask him he wants to get back together – I can probably think of 30 different reasons why this is not a good idea for a first meet up. However, under no circumstances do I want you to ask him to get back together.
  • You got this!

The Big Picture

If I want you to get anything out of this article it is that being confident is attractive and being insecure is not… AND that confidence is within your grasp.

Work on things that will build up your confidence because the more confident that you are, the less insecure you will be.

If your ex called you insecure or thinks that you are insecure, you will need to reverse this image in his head and the easiest way to do that is to show him that you are confident.

There is one other situation dealing with insecurity that you might be faced with… an insecure ex. If that is closer to your situation, then you can watch a video Chris made just for that situation here.


Now, that you are equipped to become more confident and to show your ex that new version of yourself, you’re ready to consider getting him back.

However, every situation is different. And we here at EBR are prepared to go the extra mile for you. In the comments below tell me a little bit about your breakup and what your ex said o you. Then, follow that up with what you PLAN on doing to build confidence. Our experts will help you decide what it is your best next step.

24 thoughts on “My Relationship Ended Due To Insecurity”

  1. joanina

    September 3, 2018 at 9:46 am

    Hi Chris.

    My ex and I broke up 2 months ago because of my toxic behaviors, mainly because I was insecure. We were living together and my mistake was to beg and plead him back. I was so heartbroken I couldn’t give him the space although sometimes he was being hot and cold to me. He said he didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship right now. 2 weeks after the break up, he went on a trip with his family. Before he left for the trip, he told me he loved me and gave me a peck on the lips. He spent 3 weeks away and when he came back, he told me that he’d rather stay as friends now. A few days later I found out that he has met someone during the trip, and he’s talking to her everyday. He goes out all dressed up and says he’s meeting his friend and dad for dinner but he rarely dressed up when he meets them. He even stayed the night out once, said he spent the night at his dads. There are other signs that he is seeing the other girl instead. But during the time he was away on the trip, I really worked on myself and I am also seeing a therapist now. My question is – is there still a chance with him? Should I apply the “being there” method or no contact rule? I’m afraid that by stepping out of the picture he will connect with this new girl even more.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 3, 2018 at 8:10 pm

      Hi Joannina!

      Look Joanina….I am quite sure your behavior in the relationship wasn’t the only one that could stand improvement. It always takes two to tango, so don’t let your ex put all the blame on you and you should not plead for him to take you back.

      I do think you should employ no contact. No matter what you do, you can’t control what he choose to do or not do with this other girl. If it makes you feel better, just can give him a heads up you are taking some time for yourself

  2. Charlotte Morgan-Williams

    August 28, 2018 at 7:44 am

    My ex broke up with me and just said he lost feelings but his mum said to me “this is to do with a lot of your inscurites ”
    We have a 3 year old boy together and I really do want him back but I recognize where it went wrong.
    I never let him breath I was always upset and I hated myself. Can I do the nc when we have a child?
    I’ve booked a flight abroad for 2 weeks to clear my head just me and my son but I really want him back but I need to get back to being hapoy myself and doing things for myself again.
    Do you think there’s any luck?
    He said hes lost feelings and it will never change but he says he still loves me.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 28, 2018 at 9:39 pm

      Hi Charlotte!

      I know its frustrating to hear from your guy that they “lost feelings”. I want you to stop hating yourself and your are right, its time for you to focus on “you” and healing and doing things that are fulfilling for you.. You are special and are everything to your 3 year old.

      I do think you can do NC, but with the child it will be a limited form of NC, make those reasonable exceptions that pertain to communication about him and visits.
      If you have not already done so, you should take a look at my program and the resources I offer that can help you in so many ways, both personally and with your quest to get your ex back.

  3. Aria

    August 13, 2018 at 1:22 pm

    Hi! I was with my ex boyfriend for just under 2 years and my insecurity was an ongoing problem in our relationship. It’s weird though because it started off him being insecure, he’d always repetitively call if I didn’t answer straight away, always want to know exactly what I was doing, wouldn’t want me having boys on social media etc. then it all just changed. His attitude started rubbing off on me after a few lies he told me. I was always worried, thinking he’d lie again although after the few lies he was 100% loyal to me. I’d always want to text him and be around him. I’d get upset when he chose seeing his friends over me. I’d always question what he was doing. All these things I did ended up making him angry, he would argue with me all the time and tell me I’m always ruining his nights.. We had a big talk, both agreed that we need to work on ourselves and our own problems and haven’t spoken in just over a week now. It’s extremely hard sticking to the “no contact” rule, I really did see this boy as my soulmate. I want to prove that I’m not that crazy, jealous person I turned into.. but my friends don’t think he’s worth going back to as I stood by him in his insecure stage and he lied to me about things I’d never even consider doing to him. Life’s just a bit of a struggle at the moment ‍♀️

  4. Fiona

    February 2, 2018 at 10:30 am

    My ex broke up with me via txt, than blocked me on all social media and txt my family that I am sick and need support. He messaged me a few days later and we met up. He told me he was walking away, still loved me, never been in question, sex amazing but I need to heal from my previous domestic abuse partner. When I got home I called him crying and he said his phone is always open. We have been together for 2 years and we’re weeks away from moving in with each other. I have started the no contact rule. He always saw me as insecure and yes after reading this article I was. Is there any hope. It’s been 3 weeks since the txt, 1 week since he told me to my face and we haven’t had any contact.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 7, 2018 at 12:23 pm

      HI Fiona,

      There is if you genuinely changed and if you do the change for yourself and not for him.

  5. Sam

    January 12, 2018 at 2:22 pm

    So hi guys. I was with my boyfriend for a little less than a year. Our relationship started off a bit dramatic because he left his ex for me. At that time I was oozing with confidence and he was extremely attached to me. We got together pretty quickly after their breakup and things went well for a while. However, his ex called all the time and I became pretty demanding that he cut her off etc. But he’s a pretty soft guy and didn’t want to hurt her too much because they were together for four years. In any case as our relationship went on we fought a lot and things became less romanic. We were codependent as well and neither of our lives were getting better. His family also didn’t support our relationship because of how it started and I’m also not the best fit. I’m very ‘crazy’ and they are well respected people. Things got so bad that he just didn’t want to be with me anymore. I think he associates me with not getting anywhere in life and always struggling and not having his freedom and simply not being happy. He eventually cheated on me with his friend and told me he’s moving on with her. The reason why that kills me is because I knew we could have worked things out and built a great life together, from my perspective. I guess his is different. I’ve tried the no contact rule 5 times and failed every time. Every time I did try it, he would want to fix things but I messed it up pretty badly by not having control and pressuring him to end things and to get things sorted right now and called and showed up by his house unannounced. It was pretty dramatic. He’s solidified in his decision now to move on to the new girl. It really seems like there’s no hope now. I’ve done a lot. I want someone to tell me if there really isn’t hope for us anymore. I’ve read so many of your articles and I finally have the courage to reach out for some help. Because of the intensity of our breakup and the fact that this new girl is very important to him I’m thinking maybe 45 days of no contact will be best? He said he doesn’t want me coming to his house because he doesn’t want it to look like hes playing with anyone. He made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore. Is there anything I can do to change that. I want another shot because while yes there are trust issues because of the cheating I do believe in him and his purpose and the genuinity of his love. He was definitely the love of my life. Wasn’t I his? I was for a moment. I want y’all to understand that my assessment is that there is very very very little hope for us now. Can that change? I’ve made a list of the reasons we broke up, I don’t know if that will help you advise me further. Here goes; co dependence, no space, lack of trust, bad habits such as smoking, no individual growth, no external support, lack of romance, doubt of self and doubt of the relationship. In the good list, there’s compatiblity, understanding, lack of judgement, open communication, love, friendship, trust in each others love, dependability, enjoyment. I want this guy back. I want us to work. I am in love with him. Help me. Please.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 14, 2018 at 10:33 pm

      Hi Sam,

      You can still try the nc rule for the last time but stick to it and make it 45 days..

  6. Crisly

    December 31, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    Hi I broke up with my boyfriend after been living and working together for 10 months.During our relationship I was insecure and try to breakup with him many times.We had talked and he said he was tired of me trying to breakup with him. He said if there was a next time that will be the last. He was dealing with some problems at work. He stopped giving me the attention I wanted and would get mad when he will go out with his friends. I broke up with him again without thinking straight. This was on July 30th. Two weeks after my grandmother died.We were still sleeping in the same bed but without having any contact. Then I begged him to get back with me one week later and he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship. Then another week later was his birthday. I bought him a gift. And he invited me to go out with him and his friends so I did. I was keeping my distance since he had already rejected me. He accidentally call me babe at the theater out of custome.There was a night I wake up from a night mare I try hugging him from behind but he pushed me away because he thought i was asleep.After that happened I told him it was best if we sleep separate. Since his friend was our landlord he try to raise my rent so I move out on october. Since my ex didn’t have a car to go to work. I offer him to be his ride. So we did until he got himself another job closer to where he lives. This was in November. The last day we drive together I dropped him off to his house and he hugged me tight like he didn’t want to let go until I pull away b/c I didn’t want him to know I still had feelings for him. Then we kept texting b/c I was helping him get his car. The day he got his car I was texting him I was proud of him and he told me he pushed me away because he wanted me to do better. Then i told him how I had felt something the day we hugged and but he did not reply and i was heartbroken again. on my last text I wished him luck on his new job and when on the 30 day no contact rule.
    Before the NC it had been passed 3 months since we had broke up. But had never been with NC because we will see eachother at home and at work. So we were finally going to be without contact or see eachother . The NC ended December 18. That is when I did my first attemp to reach him by texting about a tv show he likes. I got a positive reply from him. Then didn’t say anything for 2 days and start a new conversation and finish it in a rush. On December 22 my cousin came from north carolina so that day I saw my ex b/c he is friend with my cousin. This was the first day we saw again with no contact at all for 30 days. Another cousin and i went to meet my North carolina cousin when he was eating with my ex and two other friends of my ex so we didn’t know we will see eachother. I was looking my best.We all decided to go see a movie together and when we got the tickets there were only seats for 3 and 3 on the other side. My cousin give us the tickets randomly even thought we had say all the cousin will seat together and my ex will seat with his other 2 friends. But for some reason everyone started asking what ticket numbers we got. I have the ticket next to my NC cousin and my ex exchange my cousin’s seat to seat next to me. But my other cousin make him feel bad and he left and switch his seat again. Then for the 24th I saw him again. My North carolina cousin invited me to go spend it with him and his friends at my previous house were my ex still lives. I wore a sexy dress as I knew I will see him and wanted to show off how I had lost weight. That day he came to me and give me one box of marvel toys that I remembered he have gotten for his brother long ago. I text him i couldnt accept it. He said he had gotten it for me all along. When everyone was gone went looking for him to the backyard. where he was alone.I was drunk so I sounded like I was trying to pick a fight with him about the gift. I text him the next day to apologize.Told him i got nervous and that I didn’t mean to sound like i was trying to pick a fight. I told him thank you for the gift and that i will take good care of it. And he reply its alright. On the 25th I was trying to see him again so I texted him to arrange a goodbye for my cousin since he was going back to north carolina but he said he was with his family. I send him a gift through the mail. One of his favorite collection toys and he texted me to say thank you with a big happy face. This was on the 28th. I haven’t text him since then and he hasn’t text me either. I don’t know what to do next… help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 11:15 pm

      HI Crisly,

      Take it slow.. go back to being more active in your activities.

  7. CDB

    December 31, 2017 at 3:36 pm


    I am currently almost to week 1 of NC, preparing and doing my research of what to do after NC is over. I have blocked my ex from all social media accounts for my own sanity. My question is, how do I share my new found confidence with my ex if he can’t see my accounts? Would I have to unblock & re-friend him after the NC?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 11:11 pm

      Hi CDB,

      unblock him but don’t send a friend request. Just make your posts public.

  8. Reshseth

    December 29, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    Yes i hve started no contact.. am on day 10… am doing positive changes.. am working out 2hrs daily.. hve formulated a strict skin n hair care regimen.. concentrating on my entrance exams mre.. met a few frnds nd spending mre tym with family.. am mre emotionally stable now.. am also working on my neediness and i think i kinda sorted it out.. maybe i wil reach out to him after day30?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 8:45 pm

  9. Tanya

    December 26, 2017 at 8:18 pm

    Sorry I thought the first message didn’t go through. Lol

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2017 at 1:36 am

      Hi Tanya,

      That’s ok.. Check this one:
      Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back After Years Apart

  10. Tanya

    December 26, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I was very insecure and after constantly contacting my ex he told me to leave him alone and that he didn’t want anything to do with me. I did NC and it will be a year in January.

    Should I attempt to contact him again? Or are we over for good?

  11. Tanya

    December 26, 2017 at 8:14 pm


    I had a lot of insecurities and as a result my boyfriend and I split up after being together 6 months after having spoken on and off for 3 years. He said to me he wasn’t ready and after much persistence and my constant contacting him, he said he wants nothing to do with me and for me to leave him alone and so I did NC and it’s been almost a year. I don’t know what to do now. Should I reach out to him?

  12. Vita

    December 25, 2017 at 12:27 pm

    Im in complicated break up situation. This is the 2nd break up. We were in LDR for 6 months. We were on again couple after i finished my 21 days no contact rule. After we talked he told me that he was having sex with other girl but it was only one night stand. The 2nd comeback made me nervous with this additional story. I was acussing him, texting many times, and the worse 1 in 1 day u texting him non stop until he didn’t read my messages anymore until last Saturday, i was so mad and i sent bad words to him.
    Now im back in no contact rule again but im a bit pessimistic with the chances. I was so insecure by this story.
    I have a plan to go to his country next month which is end od the nc period is about 30 days. Should i meet him? Which i really want to meet him, but i don’t wanna him thinking im crazy ex girlfriend. He is more than boy friend for me. Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 27, 2017 at 6:07 pm

      Hi Vita,

      If you’re broken up again, dont go there right after nc.. You would really look like the crazy ex if you did that

  13. ABR

    December 22, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago, saying that he felt like I was too demanding, that we weren’t compatible, and that he always felt angry around me because I always seemed angry. I would ask him not to make plans with his friends when I had days off because I had very few days off as a doctor. In the beginning of our relationship he was excited to see me and spend time with me and stay at my place. Towards the end he refused to stay at my place, and though he said he wanted to see me once a week and “do fun things” he frequently turned down opportunities to do that when I was free and would instead ask to come over at times that weren’t as convenient for me. I frequently said yes when he asked to come over in the middle of the week because I wanted to spend time with him. When we broke up he told me that I was too insecure about him spending time with his friends, which I only complained about if he made plans with them when both of us had time off together, which wasn’t super frequent. He also told me he thought I had some insecurities from my childhood/relationship with my father that I needed to deal with. I completed a 45 day no contact phase because I got demanding/needy towards the end of the relationship and I spoke to him for about a week after the break up, though I did not ask him to get back together during that week. I just ended NC and sent a first contact text yesterday about something we enjoyed doing together. He did not respond, and I’m not convinced he will at all. I started doing things I like again, like cooking and baking, crafting, going to the gym, and have also started doing some things that I always wanted to try like rock climbing, and possibly snow boarding. I am dealing with the insecurities related to my childhood in therapy, and am learning to let go, that I can’t control what someone else chooses to do. I am also learning more effective ways to talk to people, so I don’t come off as just “angry.” I am spending more time with friends, and have started online dating again to try and get more confidence talking to people and just meeting up with people to do fun things.

  14. Reseth

    December 22, 2017 at 5:18 am

    My boyfriend and i had been together for 6 months now.. he said he liked me mre than many girls but was not ready for love or relationship.. i accepted it and was ok with it.. but i became more emotionally attached with him.. started demanding more of his attention time and would become jealous if he ralks of his female colleagues.. he didnt like my pestering and asked for space for a month.. i gave him the space and contacted him after a month.. he was more receptive.. but i still continued my demanding.. i talked about my family problems n asked his support.. he was supportive but i felt like he was not empathetic enough.. so i accused him became bitter and said he was being hurtful to me wen i was already down.. he became irritated blocked me and asked me not to disturb.. i cried begged promised to change my behavior.. but he said that if i continue tis he would block all communications.. wat to do pls help

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 26, 2017 at 1:03 am

      Hi Reseth,

      Are you going to do the no contact rule?

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