46 thoughts on “My Relationship Ended Due To Insecurity”

1. 

   Sam

   January 12, 2018 at 2:22 pm

   So hi guys. I was with my boyfriend for a little less than a year. Our relationship started off a bit dramatic because he left his ex for me. At that time I was oozing with confidence and he was extremely attached to me. We got together pretty quickly after their breakup and things went well for a while. However, his ex called all the time and I became pretty demanding that he cut her off etc. But he’s a pretty soft guy and didn’t want to hurt her too much because they were together for four years. In any case as our relationship went on we fought a lot and things became less romanic. We were codependent as well and neither of our lives were getting better. His family also didn’t support our relationship because of how it started and I’m also not the best fit. I’m very ‘crazy’ and they are well respected people. Things got so bad that he just didn’t want to be with me anymore. I think he associates me with not getting anywhere in life and always struggling and not having his freedom and simply not being happy. He eventually cheated on me with his friend and told me he’s moving on with her. The reason why that kills me is because I knew we could have worked things out and built a great life together, from my perspective. I guess his is different. I’ve tried the no contact rule 5 times and failed every time. Every time I did try it, he would want to fix things but I messed it up pretty badly by not having control and pressuring him to end things and to get things sorted right now and called and showed up by his house unannounced. It was pretty dramatic. He’s solidified in his decision now to move on to the new girl. It really seems like there’s no hope now. I’ve done a lot. I want someone to tell me if there really isn’t hope for us anymore. I’ve read so many of your articles and I finally have the courage to reach out for some help. Because of the intensity of our breakup and the fact that this new girl is very important to him I’m thinking maybe 45 days of no contact will be best? He said he doesn’t want me coming to his house because he doesn’t want it to look like hes playing with anyone. He made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore. Is there anything I can do to change that. I want another shot because while yes there are trust issues because of the cheating I do believe in him and his purpose and the genuinity of his love. He was definitely the love of my life. Wasn’t I his? I was for a moment. I want y’all to understand that my assessment is that there is very very very little hope for us now. Can that change? I’ve made a list of the reasons we broke up, I don’t know if that will help you advise me further. Here goes; co dependence, no space, lack of trust, bad habits such as smoking, no individual growth, no external support, lack of romance, doubt of self and doubt of the relationship. In the good list, there’s compatiblity, understanding, lack of judgement, open communication, love, friendship, trust in each others love, dependability, enjoyment. I want this guy back. I want us to work. I am in love with him. Help me. Please.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 14, 2018 at 10:33 pm

   Hi Sam,

   You can still try the nc rule for the last time but stick to it and make it 45 days..

2. 

   Crisly

   December 31, 2017 at 8:22 pm

   Hi I broke up with my boyfriend after been living and working together for 10 months.During our relationship I was insecure and try to breakup with him many times.We had talked and he said he was tired of me trying to breakup with him. He said if there was a next time that will be the last. He was dealing with some problems at work. He stopped giving me the attention I wanted and would get mad when he will go out with his friends. I broke up with him again without thinking straight. This was on July 30th. Two weeks after my grandmother died.We were still sleeping in the same bed but without having any contact. Then I begged him to get back with me one week later and he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship. Then another week later was his birthday. I bought him a gift. And he invited me to go out with him and his friends so I did. I was keeping my distance since he had already rejected me. He accidentally call me babe at the theater out of custome.There was a night I wake up from a night mare I try hugging him from behind but he pushed me away because he thought i was asleep.After that happened I told him it was best if we sleep separate. Since his friend was our landlord he try to raise my rent so I move out on october. Since my ex didn’t have a car to go to work. I offer him to be his ride. So we did until he got himself another job closer to where he lives. This was in November. The last day we drive together I dropped him off to his house and he hugged me tight like he didn’t want to let go until I pull away b/c I didn’t want him to know I still had feelings for him. Then we kept texting b/c I was helping him get his car. The day he got his car I was texting him I was proud of him and he told me he pushed me away because he wanted me to do better. Then i told him how I had felt something the day we hugged and but he did not reply and i was heartbroken again. on my last text I wished him luck on his new job and when on the 30 day no contact rule.
   Before the NC it had been passed 3 months since we had broke up. But had never been with NC because we will see eachother at home and at work. So we were finally going to be without contact or see eachother . The NC ended December 18. That is when I did my first attemp to reach him by texting about a tv show he likes. I got a positive reply from him. Then didn’t say anything for 2 days and start a new conversation and finish it in a rush. On December 22 my cousin came from north carolina so that day I saw my ex b/c he is friend with my cousin. This was the first day we saw again with no contact at all for 30 days. Another cousin and i went to meet my North carolina cousin when he was eating with my ex and two other friends of my ex so we didn’t know we will see eachother. I was looking my best.We all decided to go see a movie together and when we got the tickets there were only seats for 3 and 3 on the other side. My cousin give us the tickets randomly even thought we had say all the cousin will seat together and my ex will seat with his other 2 friends. But for some reason everyone started asking what ticket numbers we got. I have the ticket next to my NC cousin and my ex exchange my cousin’s seat to seat next to me. But my other cousin make him feel bad and he left and switch his seat again. Then for the 24th I saw him again. My North carolina cousin invited me to go spend it with him and his friends at my previous house were my ex still lives. I wore a sexy dress as I knew I will see him and wanted to show off how I had lost weight. That day he came to me and give me one box of marvel toys that I remembered he have gotten for his brother long ago. I text him i couldnt accept it. He said he had gotten it for me all along. When everyone was gone went looking for him to the backyard. where he was alone.I was drunk so I sounded like I was trying to pick a fight with him about the gift. I text him the next day to apologize.Told him i got nervous and that I didn’t mean to sound like i was trying to pick a fight. I told him thank you for the gift and that i will take good care of it. And he reply its alright. On the 25th I was trying to see him again so I texted him to arrange a goodbye for my cousin since he was going back to north carolina but he said he was with his family. I send him a gift through the mail. One of his favorite collection toys and he texted me to say thank you with a big happy face. This was on the 28th. I haven’t text him since then and he hasn’t text me either. I don’t know what to do next… help.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 31, 2017 at 11:15 pm

   HI Crisly,

   Take it slow.. go back to being more active in your activities.

3. 

   CDB

   December 31, 2017 at 3:36 pm

   Hello!

   I am currently almost to week 1 of NC, preparing and doing my research of what to do after NC is over. I have blocked my ex from all social media accounts for my own sanity. My question is, how do I share my new found confidence with my ex if he can’t see my accounts? Would I have to unblock & re-friend him after the NC?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 31, 2017 at 11:11 pm

   Hi CDB,

   unblock him but don’t send a friend request. Just make your posts public.

4. 

   Reshseth

   December 29, 2017 at 1:35 pm

   Yes i hve started no contact.. am on day 10… am doing positive changes.. am working out 2hrs daily.. hve formulated a strict skin n hair care regimen.. concentrating on my entrance exams mre.. met a few frnds nd spending mre tym with family.. am mre emotionally stable now.. am also working on my neediness and i think i kinda sorted it out.. maybe i wil reach out to him after day30?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 31, 2017 at 8:45 pm

   yep, check this one;
   How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

5. 

   Tanya

   December 26, 2017 at 8:18 pm

   Sorry I thought the first message didn’t go through. Lol

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 28, 2017 at 1:36 am

   Hi Tanya,

   That’s ok.. Check this one:
   Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back After Years Apart

6. 

   Tanya

   December 26, 2017 at 8:17 pm

   Hi Chris,

   I was very insecure and after constantly contacting my ex he told me to leave him alone and that he didn’t want anything to do with me. I did NC and it will be a year in January.

   Should I attempt to contact him again? Or are we over for good?

7. 

   Tanya

   December 26, 2017 at 8:14 pm

   Hello

   I had a lot of insecurities and as a result my boyfriend and I split up after being together 6 months after having spoken on and off for 3 years. He said to me he wasn’t ready and after much persistence and my constant contacting him, he said he wants nothing to do with me and for me to leave him alone and so I did NC and it’s been almost a year. I don’t know what to do now. Should I reach out to him?

8. 

   Vita

   December 25, 2017 at 12:27 pm

   Im in complicated break up situation. This is the 2nd break up. We were in LDR for 6 months. We were on again couple after i finished my 21 days no contact rule. After we talked he told me that he was having sex with other girl but it was only one night stand. The 2nd comeback made me nervous with this additional story. I was acussing him, texting many times, and the worse 1 in 1 day u texting him non stop until he didn’t read my messages anymore until last Saturday, i was so mad and i sent bad words to him.
   Now im back in no contact rule again but im a bit pessimistic with the chances. I was so insecure by this story.
   I have a plan to go to his country next month which is end od the nc period is about 30 days. Should i meet him? Which i really want to meet him, but i don’t wanna him thinking im crazy ex girlfriend. He is more than boy friend for me. Thanks

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 27, 2017 at 6:07 pm

   Hi Vita,

   If you’re broken up again, dont go there right after nc.. You would really look like the crazy ex if you did that

9. 

   ABR

   December 22, 2017 at 5:37 pm

   My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago, saying that he felt like I was too demanding, that we weren’t compatible, and that he always felt angry around me because I always seemed angry. I would ask him not to make plans with his friends when I had days off because I had very few days off as a doctor. In the beginning of our relationship he was excited to see me and spend time with me and stay at my place. Towards the end he refused to stay at my place, and though he said he wanted to see me once a week and “do fun things” he frequently turned down opportunities to do that when I was free and would instead ask to come over at times that weren’t as convenient for me. I frequently said yes when he asked to come over in the middle of the week because I wanted to spend time with him. When we broke up he told me that I was too insecure about him spending time with his friends, which I only complained about if he made plans with them when both of us had time off together, which wasn’t super frequent. He also told me he thought I had some insecurities from my childhood/relationship with my father that I needed to deal with. I completed a 45 day no contact phase because I got demanding/needy towards the end of the relationship and I spoke to him for about a week after the break up, though I did not ask him to get back together during that week. I just ended NC and sent a first contact text yesterday about something we enjoyed doing together. He did not respond, and I’m not convinced he will at all. I started doing things I like again, like cooking and baking, crafting, going to the gym, and have also started doing some things that I always wanted to try like rock climbing, and possibly snow boarding. I am dealing with the insecurities related to my childhood in therapy, and am learning to let go, that I can’t control what someone else chooses to do. I am also learning more effective ways to talk to people, so I don’t come off as just “angry.” I am spending more time with friends, and have started online dating again to try and get more confidence talking to people and just meeting up with people to do fun things.

10. 

    Reseth

    December 22, 2017 at 5:18 am

    My boyfriend and i had been together for 6 months now.. he said he liked me mre than many girls but was not ready for love or relationship.. i accepted it and was ok with it.. but i became more emotionally attached with him.. started demanding more of his attention time and would become jealous if he ralks of his female colleagues.. he didnt like my pestering and asked for space for a month.. i gave him the space and contacted him after a month.. he was more receptive.. but i still continued my demanding.. i talked about my family problems n asked his support.. he was supportive but i felt like he was not empathetic enough.. so i accused him became bitter and said he was being hurtful to me wen i was already down.. he became irritated blocked me and asked me not to disturb.. i cried begged promised to change my behavior.. but he said that if i continue tis he would block all communications.. wat to do pls help

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 26, 2017 at 1:03 am

   Hi Reseth,

   Are you going to do the no contact rule?