Here’s Exactly What To Wear When You See Your Ex Boyfriend

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

Play Podcast EpisodeOpens Up Podcast Player

It’s not often that I say this but this is something that you absolutely need to listen to.

Look, I am not one to brag (lie) but when it comes to helping women get their exes back I am pretty darn successful!

However, just because I may be one of the best in the world at helping women through their breakups doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t have my limitations.

Unfortunately, one of those limitations is clothing.

Look, I am a guy and the truth of the matter is that I know nothing about “what looks good” or “how to pick out the perfect outfit for a date.”

Which is why I brought someone in who does.

Enter Rayne Parvis, a professional stylist and media personality.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Rayne and was blown away by the insights that she dropped during our conversation.

In fact, Rayne was kind enough to send me her book. And just to prove that I’m not lying,

Watch our interview below.

Here’s What To Wear When You See Your Ex

Important Links Mentioned In This Episode

Interview Transcript:

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

We’ll, get started.
Alright! So, today we have Rayne Parvis. Now Rayne, you’ve got a really fascinating job. I’m not even sure if I can do it justice. So, you’re like a professional stylist right? -Style coach!

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Absolutely.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I don’t know, there’s like a million different ways we can classify you but why you dont just go ahead and tell everyone listening exactly what it is you do.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Ok, great. Well, I started out as a personal stylist which basically means I’m confused on the person rather than you have the wardrobe stylist which, are more focused on showcasing the clothes. So, I just work one on one with people and then I got certified as a style coach in a style coaching institute.

Because I felt like there’s so much more than just a great outfit and most of the people that do receive like make overs on what not wear–you know your favorite daytime talk show, they always revert back to the way they dress.

So, I really wanted to kind of mix in the life coaching schools along with the fashion and that’s why I consider myself a style coach.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

That’s pretty cool. So, you work with actual clients like one on one with clients to get them–so, do the clients, –do they come to you and say like, “Hey I want–” Let’s say, do you work with men or mostly women?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Men and women.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Alright. So, let’s say a man comes up to you and says, “I want to look good enough to get a date.” So, how would you style a man like that?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I would definitely work with–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

And then let’s pretend that he’s not the greatest looking guy. So, let’s give you the worst case scenario. How would you–

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

The first thing that I would personally do is just go is ask him if I can go through his closet because that’s where the problems start. That’s where the habits are. That’s where-maybe he’s looking over certain things like yellow armpits things or clothes that don’t fit.

So, from there I also go from color because if you are trying to be like a sophisticated man, women are more attracted to like the darker colors rather than like the pastels and the blues.

They just look at a man more sexy. That’s why you barely ever see George Clooney like a pastel shirt. He’s always like sharp, darker colors dressed to nines and fitted.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yes, and you know I’ve always Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Ryan Reynolds, those guys are always–I see them walking the red carpet, I’m like “god dang that guy! He looks so good!” And then I try it. I remember once I watched The Man of Steel. It was like a Superman movie and I saw like what’s Superman’s was wearing. I was like, “That would be so cool if I could look like that.” I just could not pull it off.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

First of all, looking right at you, you can pull it off! It’s really just the tailoring and then the fit and then getting comfortable in making yourself kind of break out of your norm because–I mean, you look awesome in the endurance work out gear.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I just threw something on.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

It looks awesome but you’re probably wearing that stuff a lot of whatever you’re used to wearing.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Anything comfortable. You know I’m married. So, I don’t have to impress any girls anymore. I’ve got the girl I want. So, I am just anything comfortable.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

You’re good.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Although my wife might disagree

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I’m sure you’re wife loves you no matter what you wear but I Iike–when I first saw my husband, he needed a make over. So, he’s probably–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

You made him over.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Yeah, he hired me to make him over. Then, I was like, “Dang! I did such a good job!” I was like really attracted to him after.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, you essentially, you truly made the man of your dreams. LIke, you dressed him up and it was, “Damn, I did good job!”

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Yes, and of course it’s more of like he’s so confident. And I always say confidence over style any day. You know women are definitely more attracted to confidence than like are they perfectly dressed, do they have the right shoe.

So, that’s always first and then the style is kind of secondary but you’ll actually like this, about 90% of my clients actually come from match making agencies. So, that’s why, like I’ve always had a heart for singles. Women 04:11 who have just like got a divorce or a break up and are just reinventing their confidence as well.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Well, that’s a perfect segway because I was going to say, “Alright so, what could someone going through a break up do?” Because just to preface people who have gone through a break up that come to my website, they are in a really, really bad place emotionally and so, often times they’re not the most confident people.

So, it’s sort of I always tell them, “Hey, just get on the board 04:39. So, sort of- I briefly mentioned it on the website when people read the articles, I was like, “Oh yeah, get a makeover or buy yourselves some new clothes.”

Because I’m just–I can give them insight to the mind of a man but I am not a woman. So, I don’t know what looks good on women which is perfect, that’s why I have you here. So, how can they get on the board here? How can they sort of dress for success so to speak?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Again, it comes back to discipline. You just have–I mean like not eating the extra piece of cheese cake. You have to discipline yourself to put a little bit of more effort into your appearance. So, you may–I don’t walk out of the house looking my 10 every single day, every time. Like even this video, I’m like a 7 right now. Like 05:25

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Just to know, you’re a 7, you literally got it done in 10 minutes. I wanted to test Rayne. So, originally this was like for 4 pm we had this scheduled and I was like, “Yeah, I want to get this over with right now.” So, I’m just going to test her and see how fast she can get ready and like withing 10 minutes she was ready and looking like this.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Yes, exactly. So, this is my 7. I always say everyone has a 6, a 7,8 , 9, 10. Try not to leave the house anything less than like a 6. And then when it comes to makeovers, you really want to start with–I always say, start with your toes and go with your hair or start with your hair and go to your toes.

So, it can be as simple as not making a huge drastic change when it comes to like going from blonde to brunette, which I did and I looked horrible and I’ll never do that again. It can just be like a little bit of highlights of fresh cut and then you kind of like work your way down. Your eyebrows looking on fleek as they say. Do you need a facial?

Are you teeth yellow from drinking wine for the last 5 years in your bed and you need to like a refresh. Or you want to start with your toes and do like a pedicure and kind of work your way up.

Oh my gosh, my legs are so white. I know that I’m going to be out there wearing dresses again. So, maybe I’ll get like a little fake tanning lotion. So, just kind of work your way up and give yourself leeway and permission to take it slow.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Cool. Yeah, so, let’s start from head to toe. I realize everyone is unique. Everyone has a unique look that’s probably going to work better for them as opposed to other people. But let’s say if you could try to find some sort of commonality between the looks that people in this case, men would find attractive, what would you do? What are some of the sort of like the basic tips for someone?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

The basic tips would be all men are initially more attracted to red. So, this is like a perfect, like valentines day example right? So, when I do the photo styling for the match making agencies, we always do one casual and then one dress up. So, I always say, “Ok, let’s try to find your red.” So, most women are going to go for like this fire engine red but you want to find your red.

If you’re blonde with like blue eyes, it’s probably going to be a blue red. If you’re my coloring with like golden blonde and like green eyes with yellow, it’s going to be maybe like a brick red. If you’re African American, it’s going to be like a bright electric red. So, it’s a lot of information but don’t just go for the natural red. You can go for a magenta, a pink, like a flirty color and those are more flirtatious.

So, it’s going to draw more attention, which is why I always say, “Carl’s junior in an out. Mcdonald’s-” Because men want that red. So, ok I was talking about that, so, wear flirtier colors. That’s like key. So, you want to kind of ditch all of your black and you want to be a little bit more out there and colors leave a little bit of a more openness for people to comment on your outfit more, “Oh my gosh! I love that red sweater!” or “Look at that purple sweater!” So, you want to kind of leave it open rather than being so standoff-ish that the men won’t talk to you.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I’m assuming red, sort of men associate–because the first thing I think of, sex, yeah sex. So, that’s what they’re associating with it. So, I think that’s great. Have you ever looked at into the psychology of colors? Like baby blue breeds trust right? I think red is power or something like that. Is there a bit of that put into this?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Yes, absolutely and then like blue is like calmness, like you said trustworthy. So, I always like give my speaking clients like, “Oh, if you’re giving a speech, try to throw a little blue into your outfit.” And another thing you have to remember is, when some people go for a make over, they like over do it, when it’s by themselves.

And sometimes you don’t need like 09:26 `men don’t find that attractive. Men love natural hair and you don’t want to put so much product and like weaves that they can’t like imagine running their hands through it. So, you want to like be yourself and just accentuate it.

Rather than plopping in so much make up, outfits, you know Louis Vuitton. It’s like let’s take you, make it shine, so the next man, or your ex will come into your life will see your in your best light.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, I don’t know, this might be a touchy subject, but let’s say someone’s a little bit overweight. Do you work with them on how to get around that? Like, do you work with them on sort of the look as a whole or is there a certain way to dress if maybe you’re a little bit uncomfortable of your body image?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I always say you want to make over yourself in mind, body and style. Because just like a lot of the clients who you know–I can put a client in a perfect outfit but if they don’t feel good, they’re going to look uncomfortable and that’s going to come off. So, when it comes to your mind, you have to say, “Hey, you know, this is what God gave me.

This is what I’m going to work with.” And there are certain ways that you can dress. Like for example, the simplest things I can say is if you are a little bit overweight, and this goes for  a size 2 or a size 24, you always want to show your waist. So, you’re like, “Hey, I’m a woman.” Did you see Adele last night on the Grammy’s?

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I caught when she like cursed or something. She was doing the George Michael thing. I didn’t watch it live. So, I just saw like Twitter and everything freaking out about it. It’s crazy that you say that . I was literally listening to Adele when I was working earlier today.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Oh my god! I don’t know what size she is but she is a fuller woman and she always looks amazing. She’s accentuating her curves. She’s so beautiful. She’s always cinching in that waist. She’s making a V neck and you know, if you’re legs aren’t your go to then maybe it’s your neck or your back or 3 quarter lengths are also the sexiest part woman, that most people are thin right here. So, you always want to wear sleeves that are about like this.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, you want to accentuate the skinnier part.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

The delicate parts of your body and then color too.  So, color, confidence and then trying new things. And again it doesn’t mean you’re going to have to throw yourself or dress everyday but it’s like, are you accentuating your waist. That’s one of the tips that I always o.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Interesting because I feel that most people who are a little uncomfortable, a little over weight, they want to hide that aspect to them. So, they wear kind of baggier type clothes but you’re sort of saying don’t be afraid to show it off. So, I guess it kind of goes is that confidence aspect. So, what would you say-or some other tips that some people can use to become more confident with their body image?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

You have to get used to seeing people that have your same body type look amazing.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

That’s a good tip.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Thank you! And then you kind of want to pin it. So, I know a lot of are in Pinterest. So, if you look like Adele, find a lot of pictures of Adele and start pinning it. So that you can get used to seeing that type of body in a dress. If you have the same body type as Oprah, Google pictures of Oprah and start pinning. So, you can kind of see what she’s wearing, see how great she looks, see how she’s working it and then you can kind of copy the stars who have the same body type and age as you.

So, then you’ll get used to seeing it because right now, when you look in the magazine and I’m sure that you’ve gone over it and it’s like all we do is see 85% of the photos are like size 2 women with like no curves. So, that’s what we’re used to see and that’s what we’re thinking to seeing sexy but that’s not life.

So, you get used to seeing those photos. Start pinning those photos of women that have your same size onto Pinterest. So, you can just open it up and get inspired and then go shopping.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Those are great tips, like I would never even thought of that. Now, that I hear it, it’s like, “Wow! That’s such good advice too!” I wish I had done that.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Ok, ok so, when we know we go to your Pinterest board  and you now have like a George Clooney board, we know why.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

George Clooney, Brad Pitt, like Matt Damon, every guy I ever wanted to be. You’ll get total insight into me and sort of like who I aspire to be you know?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

And then you’ll start doing your interviews in like a tux and we’ll be like, “Hey Chris, you’re taking it a little bit too far!”

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It’s funny you say that! So, I remember one year, my wife, she had a big christmas party. It was the first year that we were married. And so she says–because I didn’t have like a suit. Like I’m from Texas right? We’re like super country there.

Not that I love country music or anything like that but I had to go out and get this suit. So, I go to a men’s wear house and I get like one of the more expensive suits and I was thinking, “I’m going to dress so good. I’ll be the best dressed guy there.”

And so we get there and literally, there were probably 50 different versions of me and I was like, “Oh man!” And now since we had our daughter, I don’t even fit into the dated thing anymore. So, it was like, it’s literally sitting in the closet. Now, I have to go for a run after this.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

See if they can take it out. It’s not only about taking in, you can take it out. And then this goes for women too. Whatever you buy from every warehouse or men or whatever, always add a little bit of something to you. So, you could have had like your favorite pocked square that maybe your dad gave you.

That you’re just switching out the pocket square that you bought with it, would have made it look like a different suit and more crisp and like you just bought it this out of the men’s warehouse and that  goes for ladies too.

A lot of times when I buy dresses or whatever, it’ll come with a built in belt. The first thing I do is take out that belt, put it away and then put on my own belt. So, it’s always kind of emulating like me and my style and it won’t look like everybody else.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, here’s another interesting story for you. When I first met my wife, she wore white on purpose. She told me she wore white because she wanted to make me like associate her with marriage. And I remember she’s wearing this white dress that she had one of those belts but she had kind of styled it a little bit differently than the I guess the kind that came with it. I don’t know why I told you that story. I’m just–

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I’m sure she looked really great, so even–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I married her, so it worked!

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Yes!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

That’s the key to getting married.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

And white is with like purity and you know virginity and all that kind of stuff and like that’s all we see like white space but that’s exactly what I’m talking about. For my wedding dress, I actually used a black hair piece.

It was like a black sash thing that everybody was wearing their hair from David’s bridal. David’s bridal is the women’s version of men’s warehouse right?  A lot of the stuff is cookie cut or whatever.

So, my dress, I took the hair thing and it was black and then I wrapped it around my waist. So, that was belt. So no one else had my belt because technically it wasn’t a belt.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It’s really fascinating how sort of the colors can unconsciously make you associate someone with something. We kind of have gone into some of the colors women should wear, like red. What are some of the colors they shouldn’t wear?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Well, again it’s what message you’re trying to, who are you to attract.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Perfect. Let’s make this harder on you. So, what are the different messages you are trying to sort of–

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Anything colorful. So red, pink, magenta, violet, any of the jewel tones that are like really rich. Those are always-anything that’s up for a compliment is going to look great and it’s always more towards red. And I hate to say it because I originally shot mine–when I originally shot my video that’s on my website, you guys can go see it.

I’m in a pink shirt, a pink blouse, like a magenta blouse and like a leopard skirt`but at the time that I shot that I was looking for a husband so badly that I was wearing like magenta to everything and I’m like, “Oh my god! I really wish I wore a blue blouse instead of that pink blouse for the opening of my website but whatever!”

So, just like light colors, flirty colors, spring time is also great for mating. So,anything that’s either like the spring colored palettes that represent flowers are going to be flirty.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It’s fascinating. If you were to meet me, probably before I met my wife I would literally say like, “Ah, that stuff doesn’t matter” but it actually works, like it worked on me. I don’t even think I was aware of it. So, I think that’s kind of like the power of it. It’s really fascinating.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I would probably eliminate brown.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Right, 18:31 poop.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Yes! Oh my gosh! That’s what I always say. If the color represents something that comes out of one of your orifices, don’t buy it!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Don’t wear it.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

So, brown I would say.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

What about purple? So, what would purple represent?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Purple actually represents unity and then it’s great for animal rights color. It’s against domestic violence. It’s a great calming color. It’s an inviting, royalty, like the old biblical stories, like Jesus. You see like the royalty and the pink and purple robes. So, that’s a beautiful color to wear.  That’s a very flirty color as well. I love purple. Any color purple, violet is awesome.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Ok, let’s do some-this is going to be a fun little exercise. I’m going to give you a situation and I want you to basically dress a woman I give in this situation. How would you dress her. So, here’s the situation.
Person’s going on a first date with ex. First date and I really wanted to get him back, how would you dress her? And let’s just say, she’s just an average looking woman.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Dress for sure and then always pick one thing to flaunt. So, if you’re accentuating your legs, don’t have your cleavage coming out. If you’re going to accentuate your cleavage, maybe wear a dress that goes a little bit down towards your knees because again, like you want to look–you don’t want to look cheap.

You don’t want the man just to want you for the one night thing which is another reason why if you are going to wear the red and pink, you have to make sure it’s in the classy silhouette and not just like a cheap tank top red dress with your butt cheeks hanging out. You got to make sure the silhouette is classy and this is a way you can always do that, look back to the 1950s or Eva Longoria, always wore those form fitting dresses but they’re not really showing too much skin.

They’re always kind of longer, form fitting as well and then you also want to have–again always have your hair down. Men love hair and just look healthy, look vibrant. Don’t wear too much make up. Don’t kind of go over board because you want stay like cool and calm and collected. I always say make sure your heels aren’t too high either because you’ll just look a little bit clumsy and you slow down. It’s like you want to be comfortable.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, you recommend wearing heels?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Heels but not too high. Like, we’ve all seen these women wearing like 5 inch heels and they just look like a hot mess.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yes. The heels are for me, I feel so bad for you guys that you have to wear that because I have seen my wife wear it. It’s like, “Oh my god, she’s going to mess up her feet!” I’m like you don’t have to wear that.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I know. Luckily, there is a site now–we’ll get back to that first date in a minute–but a site now–this season and again, I usually dress people according to their personal style but the heels are totally out. So, we’re seeing like a lot of kitten heels, a lot of flat boots, a lot of like that heels that are about 1 inch. So, your wife will be thankful. Come back to the first date–yeah we love it when those gladiators came back our feet were like, “Woohoo!”

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, first date alright. The dress, you’re going to kind of accentuate one area either cleavage or legs. Now, let’s assume someone who’s got a really, really low confidence level and what can they wear on this date to make them feel more confident?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I would say if they’re not into a dress, wear a nice blouse that’s like flirty, it’s soft. Wear your perfect fitting jeans. Jeans are really hot. My husband loves me in jeans as well and just wear what you feel comfortable.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I would second that. I like jeans as well. Yeah, my wife-so for some reason, every time I think of going on with dates with her, I feel like she’s always wearing white. So, that’s just sort of like the association I have.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Wedding, wedding, wedding!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It worked too! I didn’t realize it at that time but then she’s sitting there across the altar and I was like, “Oh, wait, she’s wearing white!”

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Subliminal messages.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It worked!

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

What else is really great is, from the woman to take a photo of yourself in your outfit. Play around with first so you’re not stressed at the day of the date. So, maybe try yourself in a dress. Try yourself in perfect fitting jeans and a light magenta blouse with some sparkly earrings or something and then see which ones you like better.

Maybe text the photos to a friend who’s fashion you admire or they can send you the photo and be like, “Hey Chris, if you are single, I’m going out on a date, which one would you have liked better?” right? So, just ask someone who you would like to attract and see what they say.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Ok, so let’s switch gears here and say the person’s at a party and then they know their ex is going to be there but they don’t want their ex back. So, what can they say to maybe make him feel like, “Oh, I made the biggest mistake of my life.” or what can they wear to make them feel like they made the biggest mistake o his life?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Just look awesome, look confident, look like you don’t mind being the life of the party and you have nothing to hide and you’ve moved on.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Perfect.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Thank you.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Short to the point. Loved it. So, have you ever worked with any clients who have gone through break ups who are sort of wanting your help?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Probably about 80% of them.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

80%? Perfect!Send them my way–just kidding!

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I will. This is probably going to go out to all them too, so definitely. Yeah, I would just say, the main thing is the mind, body style make over isn’t just about your wardrobe. It’s about your mind. You have to kind of get out there and try new things.

So, you have new stuff to talk about. So, back to your, how do you impress your exboyfriend or whatever. It’s like, “Hey! I’m taking a Karate class, you want to see my new moves?” I’m sure he’s stalking your Facebook anyway. So, you can like, “Oh, I’m trying all this new restuarants with new friends. Look at my new hiking gear.”

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yeah, I recommend to doing all this stuff because like since it’s like 24:57 95% of exes like creep, you know Facebook creep. It’s true even if they blocked them. My wife always tells this story of her friend that literally would ask her to spy on the ex for her. Even if you think they’re not watching, they’re watching.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

They’re watching, th?” ey’re stalking, they’re signing in through other people’s Facebook’s. So, I would just say, bring more to the table than you had when you were in the relationship because I think with a lot of people, what happens when you get into a relationship, you stop learning and you start to just rely on your significant other to do whatever.

So, it’s just really important when you are alone to get out there and like you said, try new things. Have more stuff to talk about and then really, you’re not just going to be acting like you’re moved on. You don’t give it s-h-i-t, you will be moving on.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Now. Rayne, you’re pretty interesting because before you- we start recording, you told me the story of how you met your husband. I thought it would be perfect to share because it is so–I have never heard of a story like this before. Go right at it.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Ok, well I originally met my husband at a home poker game. And we were friends–like a girlfriend of mine brought me and we were friends for like 6 years. He kind of always had a crush on me. So, he would always court me and say like, “Hey, 26:16  ” and he’s like do you want me to get you in? I’ll bring your favorite wine and I was like oh, ok.

And I never really paid any attention because 1, I was probably just not really looking for a husband, not looking for anything serious. I was focused on my career of doing whatever I was that I was doing.

And then when I really started to look for a husband, I just started saying yes to everybody and everything and he actually had a different person at the time but when I first started my business, he paid me to make him over. So, I think–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, he dropped the person to meet you. He really wanted you.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Well, no he just wanted to support my business.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Ok, that’s what we’ll say.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

But it’s also a way to hang out with me by himself for the first time and he had a comb over, he had pleats, he always wear golf clothes. So I just never really looked at him in a sexy type way because I always saw him at the poker game. So, when we took him shopping and he was in like a suit and you know, bye bye comb over and he had like that short buzz, Matt Lauer haircut. I was like, “Wow! I did such a great job!” He was so attractive!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

You dressed your future husband the way you–and you just–instantly! That’s my favorite part of the story. You dressed your future husband up.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I did. And then I moved actually, ended up moving near him. So, it was like, “Oh let me take you out.” But the main thing was the confidence. He already had the confidence but when I saw him in a new light with like fresh clothes, looking sexy, it was like, “Yeah ok, maybe this can work!”

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

And how long have you been married?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

2 1/2 years.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

2 1/2, I feel like  my wife and I, 2 1/2 years but we have a baby which means we don’t get much sleep.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Well, you’re very lucky. We’re trying right now?

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Any luck?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Oh, any luck with the baby? Now, I’m not pregnant that I know of so, if you guys want to send me some pregnancy prayers. I’m all up on it.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I’m sending them your way!

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Tell your wife to send me some tips!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

The lingerie worked. No, I’m just kidding! No, I’m not kidding but kidding for the podcast you know!

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I got that. I used to work for Frederick’s. I have my old Frederick stuff in boxes unfortunately. I got to dust them off for valentines day.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yeah, so the other thing I wanted to talk about was your book. So, your book, “They ultimate guide to style from drab to fab”, tell me a little bit about this book.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

It’s about a book for ladies. Sorry, there’s only one chapter for a man.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

That’s ok. Most of the people, probably 90% of the people listening are ladies. We have this Facebook group that help through their break ups, I’m literally the only guy in there. I feel so alone. I need to get some more male.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

But you’re so kind, we need your point of view!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

True! But mostly the wife, she’s the one that answers most of the people and then I jump on Facebook live every once in a while but we got way off topic, your book, sorry.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Ok, sorry, my book, “Ultimate guide to style from drab to fab”, it’s basically a makeover to take anyone from drab to fab. If you are already like your style, know what’s going on, I guarantee, I’m probably going to teach you something that you’re not doing, that you don’t know about.

So, it’s more of like an educated style and I go everything from dressing in the work place to date dressing to how to clean out your closet, how to organize, where should the clothing hit you, how to shop. how to shop for discounts. It’s like 17 chapters of just like all my fashion wisdom. It’s awesome. So, it’s not like one of those cheapy books that’s like 50 pages.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

The interesting aspect is I feel like I cover a lot of the sort of strategy behind getting an ex back but one area where I certainly lack or where exboyfriend recovery certainly lacks is what you’re talking about, the style, how to look. Which is kind of an important thing, so I can’t recommend this book enough. I just told you, I’m totally going to blast my email list out for you and make  a big deal on this in Facebook group and everything about it because–

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Oh my gosh I love it! Well, now I feel like I have to give you a promo code!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

You don’t have to but you know we wouldn’t mind it!

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

30:38 Alright, I will work on that!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Ok! So, Ultimate guide to style from drab to fab, how many pages?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

173?

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It’s not too too long but it’s long enough to where you’re really going to get something out of it.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Yeah, you could read it in two days. It’s not a boring fashion book. Before writing this book, I really wanted to make something unique. So, we put in our different stories of you know me going to the movies in a dress where I was so cold like my nipple was so sore the whole evening because I was like freezing to death. So, that’s why you don’t wear a dress to the movie theater.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Or at least bring your coat or something.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Yeah, exactly.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Wait, hold on. The guy did not offer you his coat? What kind of dates are you going on here?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I didn’t marry that guy. So, there you have it.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

But of course you dressed the guy, so, you already pre plan that into the movie dates. You already had him get his coat.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

No, no. My husband would always give someone his clothe. Even when we went hiking, he was like pick off the nails of off the streets, so people didn’t get a flat tire. I was like, “Well, I know people that are kind–“

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

That’s really nice.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

There are people that are kind that are kind to people when other people can see them and then there’s kindness where no one can see. I was like, wow, that really stuck out too.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

That’s what really did it for you. Not the style but like the sweetness of it.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Right, but the style helps.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

At least you’re honest about it. Alright so where can people find you? 32:20 Talk about your website.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Oh my gosh! You’re so funny. Stylebyrayne, R-A-Y-N-E and–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I’ll link it up in the show notes too by the way.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Oh perfect! You can just go there. You can sign up to my newsletter. I don’t bombard you that much. It’s just all about basic tips. I have how to dress for dates on there. I have my book link on there. You can contact. I’m a pretty open book. You can email me. You can ask me any questions. Instagram is @rayneparvis and there I have daily inspirations and how to be bold and all kind of beautiful including my dog and my cat and that’s pretty much it.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, you have been making over your dog and cat? So, would you do have your child?  It’s probably going to be the most perfect looking family. You’ll be able to give Donald Trump’s family a run for their money. You should run for office.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Oh my gosh, God bless them! Well ok, so, I also like to say fashion should be a little bit messy. Whenever you see someone that’s like so put together from head to toe and I see a lot of stylist instagrams, like they’re so perfect and they’re so put together.

I’m like there’s no freaking personality there. I’m a little messy. I like to get my hands dirty. I don’t put perfect photos of myself all day long. I just tell a T like it is. I want you to feel beautiful the way you are and anybody can look at any race, color, size, shape, no matter what chapter you are in your life and that pretty much what I inspire to insipire others to do.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yeah, I’m totally going to promote you to hell and back seriously. I feel like  a lot of the people like can legitimately get something out of it and I don’t say that to all the guests that come on to this podcast, trust me.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Well, listeners, if he does say all that to all the guests you have to email me and tell me.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I don’t. I promise! It’s all there in public record. You can look!

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Oh my god! I love it! I totally love it.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Any last words of wisdom for people going through break ups and needs some help with style?

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I guess my last words of wisdom would actually be for you. You’re an awesome host. You have a very relatable personality and I think that you’re guests are in great hands and I’m just happy to be here.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Well, it was a pleasure having you Rayne! Before we end, I do have to say, you have the coolest name ever. Like Rayne, it is spelled R-A-Y-N-E but I think of rain like it’s raining outside right now. So, it must have been perfect.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

It was Rayne. My dad’s name is Wayne, W-A-Y-N-E. I’m a daddy’s girl. So, that’s where we got the name from.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

That is clever.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Yes, and he is waiting for grandchildren.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I’ve been through the conversation where you know the in laws and everything are like, when are you going to have kids? I’ve been through that.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

So, annoying and your listeners, I’m sure your listener’s parents are like, when are you going to find the right one? Trust me, we’ve all been through–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Right, it’s always another thing too. So, we gave the grand parent the grand child. Now, guess what it is. When are you going to have another one? It’s like oh man! Nothing is ever enough!

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

It’s the same thing from when are you going to meet the right guy, when are you going to get married, when are you going to have a baby? Then you say it like, when are you going to do that? And it’s just like, it’s never enough. Let’s embrace where we are today and go with the flow.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Amen! I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this a lot Rayne!

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

I enjoyed this too!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I’m definitely going to promote your book, Ultimate guide to style from drab to fab. You can find Rayne’s website in the show notes of this episode which will be on my website and I’ll link up to her Instagram so you can look at her puppies. Well, your pets basically.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

There’s more than a dog and cat. There’s like great photos. There’s before and afters. There’s just great thoughts whatever. Like I said, it’s not perfect. It’s a little bit messy just like life. So, I think that your audience will really enjoy it.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It’s a pleasure Rayne. Thank you so much for coming on.

Rayne Parvis

Rayne Parvis

Bye!

February 23, 2017

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (11)

  1. Anna - 0

    Anna

    Hi Amor,

    If my ex wants to hang out but we´ve only recently been back in contact (without having built enough attraction over text) is it a good idea to do so or should I wait and postpone it a bit until attraction is developed over text?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      It’s ok to hang out if he initiated it..rest from initiating for n

  2. Bina - 0

    Bina

    Hi

    Reply
  3. Rayne Andrea Parvis - 0

    Rayne Andrea Parvis

    Thanks for having me Chris!! It was a blast. Glad you’re audience loves the book!

    Reply
  4. R - 0

    R

    Hey Chris, would you maybe be able to write something on what to do if your ex has no desire to contact you? No matter how good the text? Because apparently impossible to ignore isn’t impossible…

    (i feel like once i get us talking regularly again, this whole process will be easier and the hardest part will just be time…)
    thanks 🙂

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Rachael,

      I’ll forward this to Chris. What about the link below?
      EBR 041: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Doesn’t Respond To You

    • r - 0

      r

      unfortunately it isn’t something that helped a whole lot. He thinks the breakup was on good terms, but has NO interest, like at all in contacting me. We were best friends, but he has a gf, and a friend said he didnt want me to know about her. Idk, point is he is too stubborn to talk to me and he is also in a bad point in his life. So maybe Chris might have an idea on what to do about a potentially depressed ex boyfriend who doesn’t know how to be alone so he has a rebound girl, but he is pushing everyone away, and is being really stubborn about not talking to me, idk if i should play the “Hey, you said we would continue being friends card” (he meant it i promise) or if there is another tactic i should take

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      It would be better to wait for Chris’ take, so that you have a more solid game plan.

Join the Conversation: