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1,415 thoughts on “This Is How You Know If Your Ex Still Loves You”

  1. N

    March 14, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    So I’m stuck.
    I’ve been exclusively dating a guy for more than a year. We had been fighting for the last few months due to his commitment issues (ie. he wanted to do all the relationship things but not be official). So I told him this wasn’t serving him and seemed to be stressing him out so I would fall back. He proceeded to ask “so because I don’t want a relationship you are done with me?” to which I told him I wanted people who were intentional with having me in their space – why do all the relationship things if there is no purpose ya know? So he goes on to tell me we should compromise because he thinks we could be happy, etc etc but I told him I had been compromising myself to stay with him and that the things he wants comes along with a commitment so he should get his stuff. It’s been a week since I last spoke to him. I want him back but I need him to commit. Also we will both be attending a mutual friends birthday party this weekend where everyone is staying in the same hotel…. how do I practice no contact when we aren’t on bad terms? and should I anticipate seeing him roam free entertaining other women?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 16, 2017 at 9:08 am

  2. Kelly

    February 25, 2017 at 7:07 am

    My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. We were together for a year, and we both go to college. We spent a lot of time together, basically everyday. We were best friends. Throughout our entire relationship, I know I was very clingy and wanted a lot of attention from him. I picked a lot of stupid fights so he would give me attention, and with each fight I picked he gradually lost patience. He broke up with me a month ago because I couldn’t stop picking fights, and we got back together after a day. I had told him I was going to change, and I tried really hard. I had changed a bit, but he said that he couldn’t see it. On Valentine’s Day, he got me flowers and a card. I didn’t get him anything because I was stressing out about what to get him and thought I was going to mess up. He kind of got mad that I didn’t get him anything because we had been together for a year and he said he would have at least liked a card. I told him how sorry I was and that I was going to make it up. 2 days later, I picked a fight again, but I caught myself and apologized profusely. It was the last straw for him, and he broke up with me saying that he expected me to make things better from Valentine’s day since I had said I would make it up, and yet I had picked a fight. I begged him to stay, and promised to change. 2 days after he broke up with me, I messaged him a long message apologizing and told him I was going to change and stop picking fights, and being less selfish. He told me he had already made his decision, and that he wanted to move on. I asked if he still loved me, and he told me yes, but he doesn’t want to be with me. I am trying to not contact him for a month, but I am also scared that during this time he will actually move on and not love me anymore. I don’t know what to do, because not only did I lose him, but I lost my best friend. I am willing to change and do anything to get him back. Please help me, thanks.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 25, 2017 at 9:59 pm

      Hi Kelly,

      since you go to school together, approach it like this one:
      EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

  3. Susie

    February 24, 2017 at 7:24 pm


    Me and my ex boyfriend work in a mall and he works oppsite me, so we see eachother everyday for long period of time. We was going out for 2 months and then one day we planned to go out. I was getting ready and I left my house ready to go and pick him up since he didnt have a car. Just last minute when im already on my way to pick him, he cancelled which made me so angry. He kept apologizing and the next day he called me a few times i declined them all. The next day at work he kept avoiding me, didnt look at me or gave me any attention and then a few days later i asked him and said what happened why you not talking why are you acting like this and he didnt want to talk he said we will talk tommorow. He didnt end up talking but messaged me that im a nice and beautiful girl but you deserve a happy life, im sorry. Since then i applied no contact rule and I just completed my 30 days now successfully. But within these 30 days he hasnt contacted me but he gives me eye contact all the time ! He always stares at me and tries to look when im not looking. Also my colleagues tell me when im not at work hes looking like crazy to see where I am. Does he still like me ? Im so confused with what to do now. Please help !! By the way im in the middle east from the Uk and his english is very poor its not easy for him to talk but he trys.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 25, 2017 at 8:29 pm

      Hi Susie,

      there can still be feelings, why not build rapport slowly now?

  4. Mady

    February 24, 2017 at 3:15 am

    Me and my boyfriend broke up couple days ago because my parents didn’t want us together anymore he has always told me your the only one I ever want and I couldn’t see myself with out you people at school says he talks about me that he still cares but doesn’t want to be with me I catch him staring at me sometimes but he won’t talk I don’t know what to do ? Do you think he still cares ?

    1. Mady

      March 6, 2017 at 2:32 am

      I’m 17 he’s 16

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2017 at 11:39 am

      ok, he probably still cares but what about your parents now? Are you going to talk to them?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2017 at 2:43 pm

      Hi Mady,

      how old are you both?

  5. Mady

    February 24, 2017 at 3:00 am

    Hi I’m mady recently my boyfriend broke up with me because our parents didn’t want us together anymore and they were pushing for us too break up he always has said that he couldn’t see himself with out me and that I was his one and only but at school he tells his friends that he still likes me but doesn’t want to get back together but sometimes I notice he stares at me and I’m so confused what does that mean and what should I do ? I really want to be with him still.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2017 at 2:43 pm

      Hi Mady,

      how old are you both?

  6. Maria Sanchez

    February 22, 2017 at 1:13 pm

    my ex boyfriend and i broke up 2 days ago he contacted me last night on the phone, he alwasy looks at me when he thinks im not watching he also tuches me on my arm he likes to pick on me alot he still hangs around me and my fiends who are also his ex’s 3 of them counteing me thats 4 but anyways he is alays near us he only picks on me thoe which i dont mind if he dose i find it cute but i do like my ex still and i wanna get him back badly thxs for hlping me out a bit

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 22, 2017 at 11:43 pm

      Hi Maria,

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

  7. Brianna

    February 20, 2017 at 2:17 am


    My ex and I dated for 6months but broke up with me because he said he did not have feelings for me anymore. For some background, we were long distance for a month because I moved to college. I then returned back home which is closer to where he lives. He later came back to me and said he was simply afraid and under a lot of stress which caused the breakup. So I took him back. During the two months of talking once again and trying to get back together I was having a difficult time. I couldn’t trust him and was still hurt from our first breakup. So I ended things with him and told him I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with him. We parted ways, that night I began freaking out… telling myself I made the biggest mistake. The next morning I went to his house and begged like an emotional idiot. He then told me he needed space from me and he mentioned how he hopes him and I can be friends. Him and I continue texting but not as frequently… basically just asking how He is doing.. vise versa. I then asked him what is going on between us and he said he’s growing and aiming to move on. A couple weeks go by and it’s my birthday. He leaves a gift for me outside my porch with a note in it, ending it with “your friend”. I stopped texting him after my birthday. I have done 30days of no contact and it’s been nearly two months since we’ve been over and I haven’t seen him. Should I contact him? My friends are saying to give him space and if it’s meant to be he’ll come back to me and tell me but I just don’t know. What if he thinks I don’t want him anymore? I have not heard anything from him at all. Right when we were ending things he said that it’d hurt him to see me with another guy. Does that mean something? Please help. Should I keep doing no contact?

    1. Brianna

      February 22, 2017 at 10:55 pm

      Okay I will reactive my account!
      How would I know it’s not a hopeless situation?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2017 at 1:27 am

      It’s hard to say from now. You’ll know more once you started the texting phase..

    3. Brianna

      February 22, 2017 at 4:40 pm

      He doesn’t use social media basically…

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 22, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      hmm.. yeah you have to reactivate Instagram.. what about Facebook, and then just make your posts public? Because he has to see something if he gets curious about you.

    5. Brianna

      February 22, 2017 at 12:03 am

      Not to mention, when the first breakup occurred he unfollowed me from Instagram… I have a private account & blocked me on Snapchat. He also doesn’t use Facebook..i do have his sister on Snapchat And his best friend on Instagram but that’s it.

    6. Brianna

      February 21, 2017 at 11:55 pm

      Hello, I appreciate you replying.

      I have become involved in school, I have currently been accepted into two honors program, going to church frequently and taking a photography class to keep me busy and it’s what I absolutely love to do. I just began hanging out with friends. I am more independent and not so emotional. We passed by eachother today at school, however we did not acknowledge each other. He seemed to be with a female but I didn’t think much of it, they seemed like friends maybe. I temporary disabled my Instagram to keep myself from alaways checking up on him and so I can as well heal probably. Should I re-active and begin taking pictures of the fun times with my friends?

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2017 at 4:22 pm

      Hi Brianna,

      how much did you improve in the past 30 days and were you active in posting in social media? if not, restart the count and do that first. If yes, initiate contact and slowly rebuild rapport

  8. Cherry Jude

    February 17, 2017 at 12:08 am

    Hi I have a friend who fell in love with another guy they were both married and they knew they cannot continue the relationship because it is forbidden so they broke up still in love. They no longer communicate but the last time they spoke they still loved each other. My girlfriend is heartbroken but she knows she cannot continue and does not want to contact him she is wondering if he feels the same way. Do you think he still loves her? Both of them cried during their break up.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 17, 2017 at 1:44 pm

      Hi Cherry,

      maybe, but truth is, it wont matter if they can’t be together.. And it’s also a guage of her non negotiables.. if she doesn’t want to be involved with a married guy, she has to move on and go back to rekindling her marriage.. if she’s not really happy with her marriage, she has to find the courage to stand up on her own…

  9. Bella

    February 10, 2017 at 9:00 am

    Hi. I broke up with my boyfriend after in 2 years relationship. He was the one who broke up with me, 4 months ago. He said that he doesn’t love me anymore. After break up, I was begging him and did every stupid things to get him back. I didn’t find this site yet. And then I try NC for a month at December. I contacted him again new year, and we were in touch again. We met couple times, and sometimes he was the one who initial the meeting. We had sex, but not all the time when we met. Sometimes he just came to my place, watch TV series with me and cuddle or sleep with me without having sex. I kind think that a good signal. Sadly, he turns so cold when we’re texting. And last week was the last time we meet and our communication through texting. He doesn’t reply my last text, and not contact me till today. What do you think should I do? Should I contact him? And I have one sin, at our second meet up, I asked him back in relationship and he refuse because not ready yet, oh that’s too fast right? And after that I always think that he has more power than me bcs he knew I still desperately want him back. Help me. Thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 10, 2017 at 7:10 pm

      Hi Bella,

      that’s probably the reason why he’s distant now.. I think you should restart nc and then do 45 days..focus in moving on without fully moving on and then after it, dont sleep with him.
      Take it slow, maintain your new routine while rebuilding rapport.

  10. nora

    February 8, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    My ex boyfriend still loves me but he is afraid to show it because he is a pastor and he heads a branch. When ever he sees me there is something that stares up in his eyes one day we both find ourselves wearing the same clothes to church unknowingly it’s was a great surprise and when ever we are alone the force of emotions is too strong but now he does not Cal no text no messages I want to move on likewise him but situation won’t allow us to be seen together my properties are still with him though

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2017 at 5:38 pm

      Hi Nora,

      Just to make it clear, what do you want to do? Is it to move on or try? Because if it’s to move on, just talk to him about what needed to be talked about like the properties.. Other than that, don’t engage in building more rapport and interaction.

  11. Daisy

    February 3, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    Hi, this is a long story so will try to only give relevant info , I have spoken to you last year & you helped so much . My ex was a LDR Muslim boyfriend & we spilt last year at Ramadan over a misunderstanding , I initiated successfully NC & we came back in contact , after 2 months in contact my ex decided i lived to far away , then after 2 weeks nc we were back in touch we stayed in touch since , he said he missed me ,we were flirty , I went on holiday to where my ex lives 2 weeks ago & we were very pleased to see each other , we spent good time together he said he wants me to move out there & says we should set up a business together , I’ve been home 2 weeks & we message almost every day , just short messages but flirty or funny, 3 days ago he says again we should have a business together , he says he will sort a house & a car , when I ask where I will live he says with him , I said I should live with you & he said why not , I then asked if I would be living with him as my boyfriend ? I have not had an answer or heard from him since , I have sent one message , knowing not to be a text gnat & have not had a reply , he has read the message ! I am confused , I really don’t know what to do next or if he even likes me at this stage ? Please help ?

    1. Daisy

      March 20, 2017 at 10:15 am

      Thankyou for all your advice , should I do a mini no contact for a while ?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 24, 2017 at 6:27 pm

      if you want you can, but the more important thing is that you can improving yourself. Don’t always be too available.. have days where you’re really focused in just yourself

    3. Daisy

      March 9, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      Hi, it’s been a while since I messaged , my Muslim LDR ex has had to go back to his home country for work for a couple of months ( he lives in a different country ),I have taken your advice & tried not to overthink things we message almost every day ,sometimes he messages first ,he has said he misses me a couple of times & compliments me on my clothes if I send a photo of what I’m wearing ,and we have funny messages that make us both laugh ,but we haven’t moved any further ,he has mentioned about us working together again but there are no firm plans . If I say I am worried about something he always answers straight away and asks what is wrong,I know he is very busy right now and under pressure in his work. I’m not sure if he has feelings or what the situation is ,is there any advice about what he may be feeling ? Do I have to just remain patient ?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 12, 2017 at 11:36 am

      aside from being patient, start to be more active in other things. There has to be desire too. Right now you have rapport but there’s no desire if there’s no mystery. If he’s too comfortable with you or with you being just there, then there will be no desire from him wanting you back.

    5. Daisy

      February 15, 2017 at 9:33 am

      Hi, I’ve followed your advice & not initiated contact but I’ve heard nothing back from my ex since last Thursday when he told me he missed me ! What should my next move be ? Is he mad that I didn’t say I missed him back ?

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2017 at 7:24 pm

      no, don’t overthink.. if the week of rest is over, then you can initiate..

    7. Daisy

      February 10, 2017 at 6:38 pm

      Sorry pressed submit without finishing –
      Hi, so I followed your advice & went quiet after 4 days my ex messaged hi, I left it an hour before I replied hi, I followed other advice I’ve read on this site & matched my exes length on messages , he then asked how my day was , each time I waited 20 – 30 mins before answering, my ex answers straight away each time ,we chatted like this for 2 hours ,each message getting longer , he then said he missed me , I just replied with a blush smiley emoji. I’ve not heard from him today but i know he is travelling with work , Should I have said I missed him back ? What should my next move be , I’ve been quiet today ?

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 10, 2017 at 11:24 pm

      I think that’s actually a good one.. cute and a little cheeky..so, dont intiate for a week right.. let him do the work..

    9. Daisy

      February 6, 2017 at 8:32 am

      Thankyou will give that a try , I’m so confused why he would aske me to live with him & offer to set me up in a business & that we can work together .My ex is not asking me to contribute any money in this , he has offered to pay for everything just wants me to bring my knowledge . I’ve never met a man that would want to do that for someone he doesn’t care about ?

    10. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 6, 2017 at 3:05 pm

      yeah, that’s a sign but he’s also showing that he’s not sure when he didn’t answer

    11. Daisy

      February 5, 2017 at 9:49 am

      Hi, Thankyou for your quick reply , i heard from my ex the next day (2 days ago) he said he was sorry he hadn’t replied but he was really busy , didn’t answer my question though. I heard from him yesterday but we just chatted about the work both of us had done that day & had a joke . I just don’t know where I stand or what text I should send next now ? How do I play this ? I don’t want to be a text gnat .

    12. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 5, 2017 at 9:57 pm

      let it cool down for a week before asking again. You can reply, but dont initiate in the mean time. If you’re clearly asking it and he’s avoiding it, that means he doesn’t want to commit.

    13. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 3, 2017 at 7:19 pm

      Hi Daisy,

      you have to wait for the answer.. because right now we’re not sure if he’s thinking about it or he atopped because he doesn’t want to commit

  12. Maynon

    January 28, 2017 at 10:15 pm

    Ugh. So I wrote on here last September when my ex of a year and a half broke up with me.
    I had moved somewhere else (a long way away) for us to be together and was his first girlfriend. I was still settling in and had been a bit homesick and wasn’t enjoying my job too and I think it all got a bit much for him and he didn’t think I was any longer the one for him and called it off…despite seeming completely happy with me and still loving me. I then moved back home heartbroken to try and rebuild the life I’d left. It was the hardest time of my life and he treated me as out of sight and mind even though we hadn’t fell out which made me feel horrendous. he did have some unresolved feelings )so he thought) for someone who burned him whilst he went travelling 3 years ago and as soon as I left she became single again and visited him at new year. (From very long distance also) I had to delete him from social media as a coping mechanism. I went away for a while and started to feel so much better as I had friends whom really built me up to not check up on him. Also lots of attention from many guys helped. My ex in our relationship had made me feel like the most sloped son on the earth..another factor which made me so confused and the break up so painful.
    He got in touch after the ‘visitor’ left (nothing happened and he said he’d been very unrealistic About her and it made things clearer with me) he reached out to me despite the delete and apologised saying what a serious idiot he’d been and I deserve so much better. He said his lack of relationship experience had meant he didn’t know how to deal with the break up maturely. Now..I’m a very forgiving kind but he turned my world upside down as I left a visa on the belief I’d see him again as nothing was enough wrong to justify our break up (he had positioned it that I’d get to see my family etc and it didn’t have to be the end for us both) ..but since found that he was letting me down gently!! Again..so inexperienced. He hasn’t had to deal with much grief in life (which is great!) but really his little life experience compared to mine masked small things (like my period of unhappiness in settling in) seem huge…when it would have gone eventually…but I The let it vow between us both rather than communicating better. We are so compatible and have even In His words the best connection ever…it’s such a waste!!!! He’s put me through so much but I still think what a waste it all is to throw away despite that!!! I didn’t reply to his apology for a week..and certainly didn’t forgive how he dealt with stuff but it’s bought back all kinds of feelings and I still miss him dearly. What should I do??

    1. Maynon

      February 14, 2017 at 2:09 pm

      Well actually…he became unhappy as I was kind of suffering from depression (neither of us realised this at the time) I had lost lots of family over time and when I slowed my life down and moved over there it bought it to the surface. I have since explained this to him and how painful it was then losing him too because of the depression I suffered having lost others! He was understanding but the bottom line is..we are now living in different continents again due to the split. He doesn’t want to live abroad again. And I think he is on purpose trying to push his regret and emotion aside As he doesn’t see our future as realistic due to the location differences. That said..we had a conversation that wasn’t rationalising our relationship for the first time by text a couple of days ago..he’d had a few drinks and was out but was sending me links to new music he likes and talking. About his family and friends and stuff. He also asked if I had a valentines date this year. Hmmm…I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2017 at 9:22 pm

      frankly, if no one is moving closer to each other, you have to move on.

    3. Maynon

      February 7, 2017 at 1:44 am

      And If he really wanted to get back with me…wouldn’t he just say.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 7, 2017 at 7:15 pm

      if you’re going to wait for him to initiate, set a limit until when

    5. Maynon

      February 7, 2017 at 1:41 am

      I think the spark was definitely still there but he had became unhappy as I was unhappy in other areas (my job, being a bit homesick etc) I know I needed a trip home but it’s made him think I’m not the one for him…he dealt with the break up poorly so really..I should be mad at him. I am to a degree but I’m more mad he’s choosing to waste a perfectly good pairing (me and him) due to his inexperience of being in a relationship prior to ours

    6. Maynon

      January 28, 2017 at 10:34 pm

      I also explained to him that a connection like ours (which I’ve never felt with anyone before and nor him by te sounds of it) is really important and forms much of the base of a great relationship. He’s in love with it and said I’m very close to being the one but there’s something Missing and he can’t put his finger on it. He has reached out a lot and clearly wants me in his life contact wise and says he still loves me. From previously being on a nine yr relationship I know ours is very special and despite our distance circumstances has been very easy..we even started living together which he admits has been easy..we always had our hands all over each other it was playful and fun. We never argued. He knows all this and agrees. But it was seriously quickly for his first relationship (he’s 28 by the way) I just have this feeling that despite it having been four months..that it’s not the end..like..a feeling of big unfinishedness. It’s very frustrating..but ultimately it takes 2. What shall I do

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 29, 2017 at 10:46 am

      Hi Maynon,

      talk to him if you want to rekindle.. I think what he meant is that there was no spark anymore.. no more mystery in the relationship when he broke up with you

    8. Maynon

      January 28, 2017 at 10:18 pm

      Sloped son?!! I meant he had always made me feel like a princess and our chemistry was on fire and he always told me how much he thought of me the best and prettiest person in the world

  13. tatyanna smith

    January 28, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    my ex boyfriend told me last night that he has been thinking about his relationship every night for the past week and i was wondering if this could result in a break-up? he left me for his ex girlfriend last month so that is who he is currently dating

    1. tatyanna smith

      January 29, 2017 at 2:29 pm

      i am not sure. all he told me was that he has been thinking about it lately

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 30, 2017 at 11:40 am

      dont hold on to it.. if he knows you’re just waiting..then that’s probably to make you wait, to string you along

    3. tatyanna smith

      January 29, 2017 at 2:29 pm

      i am not sure. all he told me was that he has been thinking about it for the past week

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 29, 2017 at 10:32 am

      Hi Tatyana,

      thinking in what way? has he always been like that? if he has always jump to different relationship, then yes, there’s a possibility that he wanted to break up with her..

  14. Ashley

    January 27, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    Hi ,
    So me and my child’s father have been broken up for a month. He found a “rebound” girlfriend while we were still together he actually cheated with her and now is with her.

    But anyway a little background we have been in a relationship for 2 years after years of him trying to pursue me. We finally got togther and fell head over heels in love, so in love we planned to our first child together after being togther for a year, which is now our 4 month old son. We had problems in our relationship which everyone does I wasn’t the cleanest person, not very organized he is not perfect either but I still loved him but his issues with me about cooking and cleaning ultimately led him to where he is now. Now initially finding out he had been cheating with this woman and still with me sent me into a rage for a bout a week or so and I was acting totally enraged, crazy and most of all hurt. We still had sex a few times after I found out about this woman thinking it would change his feelings (obviously it didn’t it got worst on my end I’m connecting emtionally more while he goes home to this other woman) so I knew then I needed to get me together for my child and me. So I started the MC rule this past Monday and it worked extremely fast at least a day or two in– he begin to call me talking about our son then got into other topics other than our kid which I entertained for a minute and ended conversation. Yesterday, after I got off work omw to pick up my son from his house- he asked “why don’t u check on me anymore?” I told him I’ve been trying to get me together or something to that effect. Now I’ve read more in depth on this website now about the contact rule with child/ren involved and I see I’ve kind of messed up I hung with him for about a hour.. nothing happend but he wanted it to; he wants it to as far as sex .. he was caressing my ear which I noticed after he stopped doing it while we were hanging. But even tho that happened I’m still doing the minimal contact rule i didn’t txt him any after we hung out or none this morning.

    Please give me your insight on my whole situation…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 28, 2017 at 8:11 am

      Hi Ashley,

      that’s ok..just continue the count..if he asks again why you’re distant, tell him you’re busy

  15. Sherisse

    January 26, 2017 at 2:21 am

    Hello. My ex boyfriend and I broke of almost 3 years broke up on December 7th. Immediately I went into NC. We are still friends on various social media sites (Facebook, instagram, snapchat and linkedin). When I post snaps I noticed that he is always watching my stories. This is a guy who never uses his Snapchat. Not only that but we are also co-workers. He finds any little excuse to walk around me to try to get me to notice him. Of course I do but I pretend that I don’t. Our break room is pretty small and when he notices that I am walking to the break room he soon follows.

    We broke up due to him not being emotionally supportive when I truly needed him which was a constant problem. And due to my depression issues which was apart of my health issues due to Lupus. He stated that we can still talk to one another but only through text and he said the dreaded “We will never get back together” line. The break up itself was a pretty calm break up. He initiated it saying that he never had time to be single and discover himself. Which I agreed with him when it came to myself. I went from a 10 year relationship and jumped right into a relationship with him which helped become a mutual thing. But he quickly asked “How long will you be single for?” I informed him that “I do not know but I do know I can work on myself while in a relationship.”

    Since December 7th I found the right help for my depression issues and my Autoimmune disease is under control. I have gone skydiving and take belly dancing class regular to cross that off my bucket list. I realized that a lot of our petty arguments was that, petty. I have purchased your book and listen to your podcasts religiously and still in NC, I am still lost. His actions are screaming I miss you but he still has not reached out to me directly.


    1. Sherisse

      January 26, 2017 at 4:29 pm

      I was going to wait for him to initiate conversation due to fear of rejection. I figured he would crack given how he needs his presence known at work.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 27, 2017 at 9:38 am

      ok..then just set a limit on until when you would wait before moving on

    3. Sherisse

      January 26, 2017 at 2:23 pm

      I am too scared of talking to him. I do not want my text message to go unanswered. So I was waiting for him to initiated it given how he is hovering over me at work.

    4. Sherisse

      January 26, 2017 at 12:44 pm

      I also forgot that, I was paying for mistakes of his ex girlfriend before me that use to cheat on him and physically abuse him. It was also his friends that convinced him to break up with me.

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2017 at 12:58 pm

      Hi sherisse,

      so you’re in nc for more than months now..how long.do you intend to do it?

  16. Sally

    January 24, 2017 at 11:57 am

    My boyfriend and I were dating for 2 years. We broke up 5 months ago. He’s 10 yrs younger. Mostly healthy relationship but very different work schedules. No major fights. He is my best friend. Very good intimacy. But I was constantly unsure if I wanted to remain committed or if I could love him forever. I felt I needed some time apart – space. I ended it. We maintained fairly good text communication after until about 6 weeks ago when he said “move on” “stop texting me” He said he’s met someone. He has been alone for 4 mo so I don’t blame him. But I acted like a girl and spiraled. Crying. Texting non stop “please I’m sorry I didn’t know I just needed time I really love you I can’t loose you” blah blah. You get the hysterics. Anyway, I went to his house unannounced. He wouldn’t let me in. Was kind but said please leave and move on. I panicked again. Texted all my feelings. Ugh. He said I was irritating. That sucked to hear. So I wrote him a lengthy email saying things in a more succinct manner. But that’s our last contact. I love this man but I wasn’t ready to move fwd and I was scared of our age gap. But now I am ready to love him and what if this new girl is some amazing younger version of me? I’m struggling. What’s your advice. We’ve never gone no contact. I’m terrified to push him away by ignoring him and I’m worried he’ll get closer to her. He likes relationships so he might jump in

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2017 at 10:42 am

      Hi Sally,

      if you kept in contact will that pull him in or he’ll get more annoyed with you?

  17. Lauren

    January 21, 2017 at 12:06 pm

    Hi. I broke up with my boyfriend in October of last year. For around 6 months, he never had any time for me, was always busy in the gym or working overtime at work, and then with his mates in the evening. I was tired of feeling second best, and thought that I was better off without him. Since we broke up, I am left completely heartbroken and realising I’ve made a huge mistake. We were in contact a lot at first, he came round to my house around a month later and slept with me. A couple of weeks after that he took me to a Christmas Market and kissed me and held my hand. His family said he had gone home really positive about us again and that he was happy. Over Christmas we argued and he’d said that he still missed me at Christmas and wished I could’ve come for dinner. All he’s done whilst saying and doing these things is gone on several nights out with his friends drinking which he was never bothered about while we were together and been in contact with girls he had a thing with before we were ever together. When I try and talk him round and make him see that we will work, he pushes me away again, says “we should just be friends”. I ask him if there’s someone else, he won’t reply. I ask him if he still loves me, he again tells me to stop asking. I don’t know what to do anymore, we tried cutting contact but within two days he’d text. What do I do, does he still want me or is he seeing someone else?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 22, 2017 at 8:03 pm

      Hi lauren,

      whether he likes you or not, at thid point, if he’s pushing you away, dont chase. He will really keep on messaging you because that’s what he’s used to do but you’re not getting anywhere right? So, I think it’s time to stick to no contact rule and focus in healing and improving yourself

  18. Shannon

    January 11, 2017 at 5:41 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me last night cause he taught I was on the phone to someone else on viber when in fact I was trying to call him at the same time now he has blocked Me and I have not heard from his since then I’m heartbroken I love him so much I need some advice in what to do next

    1. Rachel

      February 14, 2017 at 8:51 pm

      Hi Amor, thank you for your advice 🙂 I sent him a video of his birthday gift, it’s an explosion box including our sweet memories. He watched it and texted to me that he had finished watched the whole video, saying thank to me, and “I really want you to find someone can give you a true love.” I cannot stop myself to tell him the truth that I still think of him and love him, and almost 2 months passed by I was silence because I wanted to give him time to focus on his PhD study and to think clearly about our relationship. I also told him that I know that the hard situation will come with any relationship, but I have to move on (like what he told me to do, that he wants to start a new relationship with new girl, he doesnt want to begin again with me) and I will not wait for him, giving chance for others guys if they’re really interested in me, though I will not rush. I told him that time will show. After all, he kept his silence. I think i made mistake by letting him know that I still love him.

      I think I start NC rule again. But what I have to say in our next conversation? It seems that he absolutely decide not to come back 🙁 What do you think?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2017 at 10:20 pm

      Yes, he has moved on and that’s what he wants you to do too.. The only chance he will be willing to start over as friends is if he’s sure you have moved on

    3. Rachel

      February 13, 2017 at 7:33 pm

      Hi Amor, I followed your advice. I made 45 days no contact rule. Today, I started message him to ask some questions (3-4 sentences only) related to daily life. He replied with short sentences (like uhm, thanks, you too…).. Then after our conversation, he wishes me a happy valentine. So, I replied him by a joke “do you wanna try to flirt me like others are now doing?” and attach a message from a guy who is flirting me. He replied: “we all finished. don’t send me the message that others text to you. I don’t want to begin again with you. I want a new life.” So, I say oh i dont mean I want to begin with you, i have my new life to come on, bye. And we end our conversation.

      Maybe he doesn’t want come back to me. But it seems he is not comfortable when seeing the message that another guy flirting me. But why he said to me that I should go dating with new guy? What do you think? And what should I do? I think I will give up on him 🙂

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2017 at 5:55 pm

      hmm dont rush.. First, asking him ow his day went is boring, second you suddenly asked if he wanted to flirt. Its like you’re opening yourself to be his friend with benefits.. third, the message from other guys probably came across as disrespectful and obvious that you were trying to make him jealous, so he was annoyed..

      I think you need to apologize, just say, sorry that made you uncomfortble.It was a joke, that was not my intention.. and then rest for a week before initiating again..

    5. Rachel

      January 22, 2017 at 9:24 am

      Hi Amor, my ex birthday is on 8 Feb, so I should ignore or text him a wish on this day? Because it is still within 45 days no contact rule.

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2017 at 9:45 am

      that’s ok.. Yep, you should ignore it.. Listen to the podcast below on why you should:
      EBR 057: Birthdays And The No Contact Rule

    7. Rachel

      January 21, 2017 at 10:05 pm

      Hi Amor,

      Thank you for your advice and also sorry that I’ve just found out I replied in the question of Shannon instead of making my new question about my problem (I didn’t know how to do, so I’ve to continue to reply on this). The fact is that this 8 Feb is his birthday (still in 45 days no contact rule). What do I need to do now? Ignore it or send him a message to wish him a happy birthday?

    8. Rachel

      January 17, 2017 at 8:43 pm

      My ex has just broke up with me last 2 months, we had distance relationship in 1.5 years (in previous, I flirt and follow him first in 2 years, then I got the agree from him). After 1.5 years, I felt that he was not interested in me anymore (I texted to him 1-2 time/week, call 1 time/week but he did not pick up my phone and even not reply it). Then, he said that he felt too tight in our relationship, he hated that I was close with his mother and his relatives (I once told his mother about our current sad status); he did not love me anymore and he decided that we should stop. I did the stupid thing: come to his country to see him and hug him (i did not cry) and ask him to think carefully. But his answer was no. So I decided to completely let him go as what he really wants. He told me that I should forget him and consider him as a friend after breaking up. Obviously it is weird for me to become friend with an ex. So I reply that there will be no friendship between us, and I unfriended him from my facebook.

      Reading your article, I followed the NC rule until now is almost 3 weeks. He still now does not text or contact me. I also post my beautiful and happy photos after breaking up, to show that I’m really fine without him. If after 30 days with NC, I do not get any feedback from him. Because he knows that I am living alone far from home (I’ll be back to hometown in next 2 months, so I don’t have any plan for having new dating. He really knows that fact) so he might not be afraid to losing me -> the step: “making him jealousy” may not work in my case. Should I continue to follow the rule until he contacts to me first? Or I have to text him first? All I want to do is making him want me and beg me back. Please tell me what to do. Thanks for your advice.

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2017 at 9:52 pm

      Hi Rachel,

      if you’ve chased him, you should so 45 days..and then initiate contact after that

    10. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 13, 2017 at 9:28 am

      Hi Shannon,

      are you on and off together?

  19. Carole

    January 11, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    We broke up 5 weeks ago with my boyfriend for 2,5 years. Our relationsip became a distance relationship after 8 months. We were living in two different countries. We managed to meet once in a month. We were both affording financially and physically to see each other. Everytime we met, we spent amazing time together. We visited more than 15 countries together, shared so much. We wee talking every day, every hour by texts. We were planing to move to same country. I mean I was going to move to the country that he is living. He was looking me jobs, always telling how much he wants me to be there with him.

    One day, I told him I was a bit afraid to move abroad to be with him, because it has been so long that we were not in the same places. We met so many people, we grew up in different places, so I actually do not know what I was going to see if I move to the country where he is. He was like: “Yes, I fell the same. “I was totally dssapointed. Although I told him I felt lost, I expected him to tell we will be perfect and will be so happy. We were trying to be in the same country for almost 1,5 years, so I really believed this s what he wants.

    After that phone call, I texted him. I told the phoone call made me so confused. I told I have to know he is sure he wants me to come there because it is a life time decision. He told me he doesnt know. He doenst know about us because we lives far for so long. I was misserable. I was crying, and textin him really bad words. He was till nice to me. He was telling what I really wanti I couldnt tell him, I want to move no matter what because he was telling me he is not sure.

    After one day, we made another call. He was so cold. I couldnt belive how he can be taht much cold after I jus said “I am lost” 1 day ago. He started to tell me he does not want to make me sad, we are on different pages, I expect him to marry me, but he needs time to that, and he is not sure. I deserve to have my dreams. I was crying so much. I was telling what is imperfect about me and I will change it. He told me I am a perfect girl. I am the most beautiful girl he has ever dated, but we are different and we are different goals. Okey. I was aware what he was telling, but I didnt want to accept. because we had these conversation before, and we fail to implement break up. Therefore, I was still hoping this time he cannot implement it but he was sounding so serious. I told him I do not wnat to break up. He told he wants to breakup, and he does not wnat us anymore…

    I didnt have anything left to tell him. I had to accept although I was crying. The day after I was misserable, I was crying. Another day I sent him a text teling that he wants me to delete our pics on facebook or not. He said he wants them to stay because they are part of us. He was telling me he loves me just 1 day before our break up. I asked him if it was a lie, and he told me no it is not a lie. He was so nice and after that we send some texts to each other. I decided to send him a kindly good luck message, and he sent me the same kind of message and thats it.

    He likes my pics on instagram, I fell he is stalking me, but maybe he is not. He hurt me so much although I know he s doing that to not hurt me much more in the future.

    I promise myself to never conatct with him again. Anyway I have to let him go if he wants this. I want to move on too.
    But I really want to know he oves me or not. What do you think? What is your recommendation?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 13, 2017 at 8:53 am

      Hi Carole,

      I think he still loves you.. What do you really want, to try or move on?

  20. Queen

    January 11, 2017 at 6:23 am

    Hi there! My ex boyfriend and I broke up last September 2016. He was my high school batch mate and our relationship lasted for about 3 months only because it was in a long distance relationship. Actually, we never fight and argue we just decided to end our relationship in peace but we remained friends until now. The problem is that I’m getting confused if he still like or love me? Or he wants our relationship back again? The fact that he always react on my posts on social media, he never missed to watch every stories I made on IG, he liked or loved my posts on FB, chat me once in a while to know what I’m up to, sometimes Facetime, etc. I admit, I still love him until now. The only problem is the distance and timezone between the two of us. 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 11, 2017 at 1:15 pm

      Hi Queen,

      even if he still likes you if for him the relationship is not viable, it will not work. check this one:
      What It Takes To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

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