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1,323 thoughts on “He Broke Up With You And Now You Want Him Back”

  1. Avatar

    Nelle

    January 24, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    Hi! Me and my… I don’t know what honestly… Boyfriend I guess I could call him. We dated for three-four months, we never made it official, and we broke up a month ago today. The last time we spoke was three weeks ago. I think I want him back. I’m not sure. Anyways. I’m thinking about contacting him in a week or so… But I’m not sure if he hates me or not. I know he’s really angry at me. And I know why, and I understand his feelings towards me. I didn’t cheat or anything. But let’s just say I went really psycho at the end. My question is if I could send him a text saying ”Hey, maybe kind of random of me to ask. But what protein powder are you using?”. I got to taste his protein shake at some point during our relationship and it was good. And I’ve started working out and are going to buy protein powder. So I personally think it’s a legit reason. But I need someone elses opinion on it before sending it.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2017 at 12:34 pm

      Hi Nelle,

      how much did you change and improve in the last 3 weeks?

  2. Avatar

    damilola

    January 21, 2017 at 4:01 am

    my exboyfrend nd i dated for bout two months nd some weeks but he broke up with me claiming dat he doesnt like LDR relationship but now he has a new gf wat can i do to have him back

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 22, 2017 at 3:45 pm

      Hi Damilola,

      when did you break up? follow the advice on this one:
      EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend

  3. Avatar

    Colleen

    January 8, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    Hello,
    I just reached my 30 days no contact and am planning on messaging him tonight. He told me the reason for the breakup was because he didn’t trust me and he didn’t think that he wanted a relationship ever. I was just wondering if it was still possible that the no contact worked on him.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 8, 2017 at 11:22 pm

      Hi Colleen,

      why doesnt he trust you?

  4. Avatar

    Liz

    January 6, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    Hey so I need serious advice. My ex and I were together over 4 years. We met and literally every day since then we’ve spoken and hung out. Earlier this year we bought a house together and everything seemed picture perfect. After a few month of living there we got into a huge argument. It was bad. The cops showed up because we were outside. We had never ever been like this before. It was rock bottom. He was so angry he had broken something and the night was such a mess that both our parents found out. Long story short, my family was unimpressed and said some hurtful things to him. His parents were also disappointed to find out that their son had reached such a breaking point and that it was due to him bottling up stress and resentment. When we moved in, I got lazy. I didn’t help out much and he was doing everything around the house and also paying the bills. I don’t know why I didn’t realize I was being so uncooperative but he also admits that he was very passive and never spoke up about how he was feeling. Two months after the incident is when we were finally able to address the issues and I immediately took ownership and made efforts again. He even said I pulled a 180, we also communicAte much better. The issue is that he felt that that night shouldn’t have happened. He questions why it took us rock bottom to finally improve and as much as we can forgive each other he isn’t ok with what happened and so he wanted to go separate ways. It says been about 3 weeks and you can imagine how awful it is for me. I feel like I did so much to try and help us but that it isnt enough. We share a dog together, she’s only a year old so we agreed to stay in touch and hangout once a week. At first he said “we can hang out and see how things are going and maybe get passed the issues” but after two weeks he also said that even though he misses me that he just doesn’t feel confident in a future with me because he thinks my family will never let go of what happened.
    When we hang out it’s great, we are still so comfortable around each other and can have fun. we’ve had sex every time we’ve seen each other, we text here and there, send each other funny memes and videos, etc. so it’s hard for me to process that we are over. We definitely aren’t together right now And I know time may help him heal but I’m worried he’ll just get used to this. I’ve thought about then I contact but that means I also lose my dog… (she stayed with him). What should I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 8, 2017 at 4:08 pm

      Hi Lix,

      can you arrange for him to leave your dog to somebody else for you to pick up while in nc? Like a friend or a neighbor?

  5. Avatar

    Moe

    January 2, 2017 at 8:49 pm

    Hello there ,
    This is my first time opening up like this but i really need some advice, i was with my ex-boyfriend for 2 years and our relationship was rocky from the start but we always worked things out no matter how heated it got, we loved (and i still do) each other very very deeply but the situation we were in didn’t help, we live in an Islamic country that does not approve of any gay activities, i also got death threats from family members when they suspected i was gay and warned me not to hangout with my bf whom they thought was a bad influence on me. All that made our relationship very problematic but we had everything figured out, where we would leave this country and move to america live there and start a family together.
    before breaking up with me by two almost 3 weeks we took a vacation and it was the best 5 days of my life (hiss to i assume) we got all the freedom that we never had, after we came back he told me how much he loved me and that i was his whole world, two days after that he starts getting mad over small things and says he needs a break for a few days when i tried to message him 2 days later he told me he had nothing to say to me and blocked me from everything, i did everything i could to reach him ( using friends, calling his house phone, and even waiting in front of his house hours on end) all that fr nothing, he finally calls me and tells me get away from my life and goes on to send me text messages saying he doesn’t love me anymore and that he literally hates me and he starts insulting me and saying things like i am better than you or go back to the barn you came from which honestly shocked me, but i just told him if you wana go just go but stop talking.
    It’s been two months since then and i am still hurting over him, i still love him and i built my whole life around us, but he moved on and is with a new guy, i am sorry for the long story but i needed to get it out there.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2017 at 12:30 pm

      Hi Moe,

      did he leave for the other guy? If yes, then it’s a grass is greener syndrome. Check the link below about that. But when did you last talk?
      The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

  6. Avatar

    tatumn

    December 28, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    My ex and I were together for 9 months which is considered a long time for juniors in high school. We did everything together and we had our whole lives planned out together and we would always say stuff about us getting married and having a family and he would always say I was the love of his life and vice versa. around October we started getting in more fights because I had recently started A snapchat streak with someone I used to like because he had streaks with a bunch of girls so I did it out of revenge. That guy started getting flirty and saying that I deserved better so I began to talk to that guy more and more and that hurt my ex. In early November I went to a football game with a friend and that guy was there and he sent my ex a picture of himself and I lied and said it wasn’t him. We got in a huge fight and I broke up with him. Two days later we got back together and everything was good. A couple weeks later the same issues started coming back and he said he didn’t trust me because I lied to him to avoid a fight and I realize that was all my fault but we broke up anyways. After it happened, we both realized what we had done and I apologized and asked if we could get back together. He said that we needed time to be single so I agreed. That Monday we were talking and he said we need to act single and he said I could hang out with other guys as long as we didn’t touch and I said he could do the same. So Tuesday he hung out with a girl he used to talk to but never dated because she cheated on him and she’s also in college. Before she came over to his house we got back together and he was so excited and happy and we made plans for the rest of our break and we decided we’d hang out the next day. I texted him the whole time she was there and told him to tell me what time she left. She left at 2:00 am. I was mad and rightfully so but I didn’t dwell on it and instead said I loved him and couldn’t wait to see him that day. He texted me and said we weren’t going to work out shortly after that. The next day was thanksgiving and they went Black Friday shopping together and have been together ever since because she’s also home for the holidays.
    I’m just wondering if there’s a chance of us getting back together because every night since the break up I have had the same dream about us getting back together. I know I’m young but I really do love him and I do believe he’s the one I’m supposed to be with.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 30, 2016 at 7:08 am

      Hi Tatum,

      I think there is a chance, but dont chase him. Do you want to try the no contact rule?

  7. Avatar

    Geeta

    December 27, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    I am in a relationship w a man of 43, my age for the past 4 years now . Both of us are separated from our spouses and have one kid each . Right from the day one he said that his wife didn’t like to stay w his parents so left him and staying at her parents home in the same city Along w his kid. She hardly visits him and hardly lets kid meet his dad as well. She refuses to stay w him in his parents home and he refuses to stay separately w her as he grew up in a joint family . So they have been staying separate for the last 8 years . Married for 13 years .
    I stay separate from my hubby too .
    My lover n I have been happy w our relationship w all its ups n downs . However these days his kid has grown up n asking him to take him on a holiday . He was rejoiced and requested his wife too to accompany him. I was very upset because he said he never loved her after she left home . So now how suddenly he decided to ask her on a holiday ?
    When I confronted him he says that it’s for kid. But each time they meet up socially he n wife have fun. However they go back to their own houses. In the past ten months he never met his son because she never let him meet the kid .
    Suddenly things changed and he says he wants to go on a family holiday
    I feel very upset though I understand the kid needs him, how can this man forgive a woman who walked out him just 4 years after marriage ?
    And on the top of it she never let the kid meet his dad frequently . Each time he had to beg her to go out w the kid.
    I have been extremely loyal to this man , made him my top priority in life and never even wished to get back to my husband .
    Now this man is saying that he will go on a holiday with wife but he loves me only .
    He is ready to make me his friend overnight if I have a problem with this arrangement .
    I’m devastated because I’m deeply in love w this man for years n loyally but when his wife , who never cared for him , is ready to take him on a holiday he jumped n agreed.
    . Following this, I made a big mistake. My jealousy got the better of me and once the tickets were booked for their holiday I started feeling very insecure. I requested him to promise me that he wont get back to his wife. He said he is not interested in going back to her but he wont make any promises. At the same time, I saw her suddenly ‘liking’ all his posts on facebook and sending him messages etc., the same female who never let him see his son is allowing him to take the kid out and she is also accompanying them. While Im very happy that he gets to spend time with the little boy, Im extremely insecure by the behaviour of his wife. When she left him for so many years and staying separately, how come she changed this suddenly? This made me very insecure and I asked him to tell me if he wants to give his marriage another chance. HE said he doesnt know. He said he is confused. He said he will surely not live with her and vice-versa, he cant promise me anything till he comes back from vacation. Im shocked and surprised by his sudden behaviour. While his wife left him, it was me who took care of his every need and never ever left him alone. Now Im unsure how this woman changed suddenly and behaving so nice with him. They even started sharing many text messages, planning for holidays etc etc. He is hardly saying that he loves me. He says it only when I ask him many times. I am extremely depressed with these sudden changes, I could not handle the undertainity and I went to him asked for a breakup. He refused at the begning saying im over reacting but when I asked him why cant he make me feel secure by promisng that he would come back to me, he has no answer. He said he cant promise about his feelings after holiday. I felt this is ridiculous. He was laughing it off. Then things went really bad and I said i was seriously wanting a breakup. I cried like mad and refused to leave his place till he broke up with me. Finally he said its over an hugged me and left with tears in his eyes. Later that night, I felt very bad, regretted my decision and called him to talk to me. But he didnot pick up any of my calls. I begged him, swnet hundereds of messages and finally he picked up my call. It was a night before his leaving for a holiday. He was very rude, said he hasonly 10 min to talk to me. I told him that we should take a decision after coming back from holiday. I told him that I could not handle all these sudden changes well, was jealous and insecure and he never told me that he would surely coming back to me so I acted that crazy. After a long persuasion, he said ok. But he was not at all sounding interested. I told him that he should try how it goes in the holidays and if she and he are seriously trying to get back together, he must tell me and we can be friends after a while. He said ok. nothing else. My heart was bleeding while I was sying all this. I cant and dont want to lose him. How can she become so nice so suddenly? She troubled him, insulted himf or years and now he forgot everything and didnot even think what I would be undergoing. I feel so terribly depressed. He left for holiday for 10 days. I dont know what is going to happen once he comes back. After he comes back, should I bring up this topic at all? Will he snwer me? Will a ten day holiday bring them back so close that he will chose her over me? I agree that I made his life hell in the past few weeks by asking to give me assurance that he would come back but then I had valid reasons. Im not able to control my emotion. What should I do now? What will happen after ten days and how should i deal with this? Please please help me, Im almost having a nervous breakdown, Im not eatng or sleeping. Does he not love me????? Am I really wrong in asking him to assure me after seeing her behavior?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 29, 2016 at 11:41 am

      Hi Geeta,

      asking him more will just annoy him more.. do you want to try the advice above?

  8. Avatar

    Flora

    December 21, 2016 at 11:02 pm

    Hey, me and my ex boyfriend broke up 2 months ago and we are in the 4th week of NC. He said he’s not ending this but pausing this for us to grow apart as we were too dependent on each other but he wants us to stop contacting each other. During the first 2 weeks of the breakup I’ve done all the things i shouldn’t have done like showing up to his house and constantly texting which made him really annoyed. I also got really mad at that time because overtime when i tried to ask “how are you” he would be like “stop” “dont talk to me” “I know you’re trying to creep back into my life again” so I sent him this text telling him I don’t want to be back with him and told him not to reply to the text. We went on NC ever since, just wondering should I text him and be like I was really angry thats why i said that. I don’t want him to actually think that i dont wana be back with him I want to leave a door for communication when the time comes

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 26, 2016 at 12:42 pm

      hi Flora,

      nope, dont go back to that incident any more.. it looks like he just said that he wants you both to grow first but what he really wants is for you to move on..so, he has to see that you’ve moved on first.. for him to be open on being friendly again..

  9. Avatar

    Marla

    December 8, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    My boyfriend and I were together for one month until he decided to break up with me because “he didn’t see the point of doing long distance”. We both knew before we started dating in late September that we would be 1 hour and 30 minutes away from each other come January. He was the one to pursue me and made me feel so wanted and happy. I felt such an intense attraction to him so I really opened myself up to him and possibly may have fallen in love. While one month was a very short period of time, we spent 3-4 days each week with each other. His actions led me to believe he cared for me as much as I did for him.

    I am having a hard time getting over him a month after the breakup. I had met up with him 2 days after the breakup because I wanted to know the real reason we broke up. What is really bothering me is that he knew before we even started dating that I would be moving, hence the “what’s the real reason” type conversation. I still can’t accept that he broke up with me over an hour and a half “long-distance” relationship. He maintained that there is nothing wrong with me and that he still cares but that he just can’t do long distance. We will both be transferring to different universities and his is, historically, a challenging university. Still, he at least led me to believe we could at least try to make it work. We ended up having a nice conversation for about an hour afterward and I mused that I was glad we could still talk to each other. He stated that he’d like to be friends, but we all know what that means.

    Regardless, I reached out and made an attempt at being friends by sending him a funny text telling him the restaurant he had taken me to while we were dating was being shut down for health concerns. He responded and I responded back but that was the end of that conversation. A few days later, I texted him asking for the address of a bar and he responded. He also liked a picture I had taken that night on Instagram and opened a snap I sent him and viewed my story on Snapchat. That is the end of our communication post-breakup and we haven’t communicated since then (3 1/2 weeks). However, he still likes the Instagram pictures I post.

    Over Thanksgiving, I deleted him off all of my social media….but then shamefully added him back on Facebook and Instagram a week later. He accepted all my requests quickly. I ran into him on our campus as I talking on the phone. I could see him from the corner of my eye stop and look at me and think about walking past me. He walked past, I waved and smiled and so did he. A week later, the same scenario happened except this time he ignored me. He sat in an area in which we could clearly see each other but not once did he even look up and I was too nervous to say or do anything. This all happened despite him liking a picture I had posted a few days prior. I saw him yesterday in our university library, but I don’t think he saw me and I was able to move to a different seating area. We have a ton of mutual friends, and all of his friends liked me. One even remarked that I was a “keeper” and one of his closest friends told me he rooted for me during the breakup.

    We had a lot of special moments, inside jokes, and fun times together despite the short period of time. We are both affectionate people, we liked the same movie/shows, I always complimented him and put his needs first, and I truly was starting to fall for him. I realize how crazy that sounds considering we were only together for a couple of weeks and one month but that was the most passionate relationship I was ever in. Honestly (and clearly) I miss him. I want to get him back, but I am too scared and emotional. I feel like my social media behavior has pushed him away and I am scared that once I move in January that it’s officially it. We’re over. Any chance I have of having him back in my life is gone.

    What do I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2016 at 2:31 pm

      Hi Marla,

      Truth is, it’s already over. The relationship was a month, and it’s been almost a month now after the break up right? So, right now, it’s not really about continuing the relationship. It’s re-attracting him back.

  10. Avatar

    Joe

    December 3, 2016 at 5:16 am

    hey there,
    here what happened in my life, we both couple up this year around Feb and we both had good time, but since we both are studying.. he got involved in his student life, like organizing events sience hes the head of engineering. then slowly by slowly he started spending less time with me and we started having arguments about it. the thing is he had time for hi friends and many other things but not for the relationship. like wise he said i became clingy to him which he doesnt like.. he always says that im weak when i cry! and he tells me he cares about me, but then why would he break up and then he said he moved on while he didnt… then i asked him and he said he doesnt want to hurt me thats y he had to lie regarding that he moved on. i just love him so much i really which he knows how i feel.. i just want him back but i dont know wat to do.. even in university we have mutual friends and more.. he avoids me like nthg happened and that hurts. what should i do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 3, 2016 at 5:08 pm

      Hi Joe,
      do you want to try the advice above?

  11. Avatar

    Anon

    November 25, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    Hello; my long distance relationship ended almost 3 weeks ago and my last and only attempt at getting him back was 2 days through text after he told me his decision to break up with me, but he didn’t respond and we haven’t been in contact with each other. He doesn’t have interest in a relationship or a friendship with me anymore because he perceived me as overly clingy. It had gone downhill from a text I sent him after last seeing him, when I left my phone with him and I needed it back so he drove to get it to me and we used that opportunity to spend time with each other, and I really regret it; I don’t know what I was thinking and it’s become totally embarrassing for me, too, but for best illustration, it was this:
    I really appreciate you having come; getting my phone back can’t compare at all with getting to see you again 🙂 I was also happy to have been introduced to your friends and am glad we had some time for ourselves, how ever little, but man, it’s been bad enough that when I needed to be doing school work the entire time I had you on my mind from Saturday to when you came today, and now the cycle repeats until the next time, whenever that is (laughing emoji, sweating happy face emoji)
    The message was followed by me giving him some details on the next times there might be reasons to see each other, such as performances, and asked him to keep me updated on what events he planned on coming to if any.
    I now cringe about the entirety of that and understand why that must’ve been such a turn-off and made him think that a relationship or a friendship with me wouldn’t be healthy since it seemed I would be obsessive and things along those lines; it must have scared him off so much and ruined his interest. This was the only thing that changed things; we had no other issues or rough spots, and I had tried equally as much to keep him interested before the relationship as during, but this is where I slipped up and lost my chill. Though that sent a really strong clingy vibe, I am determined to diminish it and get him back. How do I do it when we don’t see or talk to each other and he might think that I’m only keeping myself from contacting him because he told me to and sees my keenness about at least staying friends as just adding to the impression of clinginess? How can I make it so that he’ll trust me enough not to be clingy that he’ll willingly stay in touch with me, and I can work my way up from there in the future with the circumstances I have? Thank you!

    1. Avatar

      Anon

      November 26, 2016 at 11:03 pm

      are not active*

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 27, 2016 at 2:23 pm

      You have to be active in posting is social media.. whether he has an account or not, because there is still a big chance that he will check your account once he gets curious why you stopped chasing.
      I didn’t understand your last question though..If you meant you were clingy, that means you weren’t active enough in your own time because if you were active in your time, you wouldn’t be clingy. Yes, you are distant, but I think what you meant is that you were demanding? Correct me if I’m wrong. That still means you’re clingy. He has to see during and after nc that you’re more busy. You don’t have much time for him and you’re not asking nor demanding more time from him anymore because you have a lot on your plate.

      He has to see that you’re starting to move on during nc, so that there’s a higher chance that he will initiate during it or he would think that you’re just being friendly after nc if you initiate. That’s why you have to keep the routine that you will start during nc while your’e rebuilding rapport with him slowly.

    3. Avatar

      Anon

      November 26, 2016 at 11:02 pm

      Thank you very much for your reply! I have looked at the suggested pages, but I have a few questions dealing with my particular case: What can I do when it comes to working on myself so that not only am I benefitting myself for doing it, but my ex also notices if we aren’t in contact, are inactive on social media, and don’t see each other? Do I try to reflect my progress if I see him in person again? Do I do that by reaching him after no contact even though he told me not to contact him again when we broke up? And what is there to do if the problem was more that I made him feel I was feeding off of any interactions I had with him to an unhealthy degree rather than an issue of not being my own person (because I didn’t lose my own life for his, which I was better able to do because of our distance)?

  12. Avatar

    Er

    November 24, 2016 at 5:16 am

    My boyfriend of 3.5 years just broke up with me yesterday night. I am 18, he turned 19 today. I know – we are young and have our whole future ahead of us, but there has always been something about our relationship that other people didn’t understand. To us our age didn’t matter. We built and matured our relationship responsibly and very well. Last week, I got very defensive, and accused him of never being interested in me and being cold to me whenever he had a lot of schoolwork. He angrily went to bed (however still said “I love you”), and later that night I sent him an apology for how I should have been more understanding and supportive of his work. He texted me good morning the next day, which is usually a sign that we are okay, and so I sent him a few cute messages to brighten his day. I didn’t hear from him for 5 days, which was VERY new, as we never missed a day of talking, and will admit i was very pushy and clingy the first 2 days, trying to get him to answer constantly when I knew he wouldn’t). I realized how much of a mistake that was, and sent him a long letter about how sorry I was for my actions, how he deserved the space he asks for, and how I took full responsibility for my actions, and how I would change them to be more understanding and supportive. Then on the 5th day (last night), I received a call and he broke up with me. We talked today, (because despite the break up we both know that we can’t just give each other up so easily and heartlessly), and he told me that he wasn’t as happy as before – he said that he didn’t mean that he was unhappy being with me, just that he wasn’t as happy in general. And that he likes being alone sometimes, and needed to figure things out on his own. I find it nearly impossible that in the span of 6 days he has magically fallen out of love with me. He says right now that he loves me as his best friend – again, I strongly choose to believe that this is because he doesn’t want to admit he still loves me, in order to try and spare my feelings. He keeps saying that maybe in the future when we are both single we can reconnect, but that I am still his best friend and that we can still hang out and be there for each other, and that it is still ok for me to love him. He wants me to have the opportunity to meet other people. I respect that and thank him for wanting that for me, just to get rid of the “what ifs” before we actually commit. But I personally do NOT want to meet anyone else. We have been so strong for 3.5 years. And, don’t get me wrong, I love him too much to push him out of my life because of this. He IS my best friend, but he was also my boyfriend who had always talked to me about our future. I still am grateful that he sees me as his best friend and hasn’t just thrown me away completely, but I want him back as my boyfriend. Right now, he says he is just happier being alone sometimes, rather than being in a relationship, which is something I have never heard from him in our 3.5 years together. Earlier this semester, I suggested a break and he fought against it. But i decided on it anyway, then quickly realized that my reasons were unreasonable, and “ended” the break i wanted from him. He later broke up with me (about a week later), but quickly got back together with me as well. Then I visited him back on Oct. 8th, and he just kept telling me how he truly believed that we could make it no matter how hard things got. I just don’t understand how he could want to be alone, and just give up what we built together, and just be best friends, so suddenly? How successful do you think the no contact rule would be in this situation? Again, I know the no contact rule is crucial in healing before we can rebuild our friendship (which we kind of painfully and only somewhat successfully jumped right into trying today), but do you think maybe he just really does need time to miss me and realize what he’s giving up?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 26, 2016 at 6:54 pm

      HI Er,

      there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but I think you don’t have any better choice than to give him space and to use that time to improve yourself.

  13. Avatar

    Bancy

    November 21, 2016 at 7:47 am

    Hello. My boyrfriend just broke up with me, cause I was just pushing him and make some tension without no reason. He told me several times that it doesnt have reason for my behavior..but i think the glass was full and it happen what happend. He doesnt want to talk with me, he blocked me from fb and phone and all social media…i made some drama, a begged, prayed but it make things just went worse… i think im gonna die. 4 days i dont have any contact with him… i don ttry at all beacause i have nothing to say anymore…. a did my best! and worse 🙂
    What should i do…

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 22, 2016 at 11:35 pm

  14. Avatar

    Bri

    November 15, 2016 at 8:41 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday, six days after I got back home from visiting him in the city he goes to school in, he said he has been having thoughts about not seeing us long term. We were together for 3 years, I am 21 and we were long distance for 1 year. He really made the breakup about caring for me, asking if I’m interested in seeing other people and concerned that I might have missed out on life because we started dating when I was so young (we started dating when I was 17 and he was 22).

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 8:32 pm

      Hi Bri,

      are you open in trying the no contact rule?

  15. Avatar

    Cherry

    November 15, 2016 at 1:11 am

    Hi,

    My almost 3 years ex broke up with me last week. during the break up it was so hard for us and we were both crying so badly. I gave in my all to him. He told me he wants to focus on his work for now on. He admits he still love me but not as much as before because he is too driven in his work. He said eventhough we cant be lovers but still can be best friends. But I have met him twice after we broke up but he was very cold towards me. I always had an question in mind wondering if we both love each other why cant we just continue and try. He said while he is working he would definitely neglect me and throw me aside, he knows i would be totally fine with it because im understanding. He dont want to continue to take me for granted. I do text him things like i will always be waiting for you. and he would reply me with grateful texts. He will always remind me like let him know if i need any help & things like that. It is so hard to me to let go because he still treats me nice. But I really really want him back. Do you think there is a chance for us?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 11:03 am

      Hi Cherry,

      well, don’t put yourself in the friendzone or the chaser position. Letting him know that you’ll wait for him is like letting him just make you wait, and wait and wait. There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work, but it’s better than just waiting.

  16. Avatar

    Bianca

    November 9, 2016 at 1:06 pm

    My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. I love him with all my heart. All my heart and he says he loves me too. But recently we have been fighting. And he has come to the conclusion that he has lost the spark and drive to make us work because of Ireland- a lot of his friends are moving back to Ireland (where he is from) currently and he now says he needs to move back. He doesn’t want to raise kids here etc etc. And he wouldn’t ask me to move. Even though I have said that I wouldn’t rule Ireland out. I asked if ther was someone else and there isn’t. He says it has always been me. He can still barely keep his hands off me and want to kiss me but he doesn’t see a long term future anymore. I am completely lost. I love him so much. I just don’t know how to move on from someone who loves me and I love them. I have spoken to my family about it. She says To give him space but if it is worth it Ireland isn’t far from England. They would all support me moving over when and if the time was right. We just need more time to develop our relationship. Even if that means he moves over whilst I sort my career over here and I go see him every few weeks in Ireland. If our feelings are strong enough for eachother then we will wait for each other. Have spoken to my family about it all. And they are all believers that if I love him enough and he loves me enough I should move to Ireland when the time is right for us to work. My grandma moved to south Africa to be with my grandad in the end of the day. I have told him this. I need a few years to settle my career etc so I could be able to have an income in Ireland and I would wanna live with him first properly before making the move and things like that but I would move. Believe it or not. Never thought I would. But it seems as though he is playing games. Which I don’t get. He knows all f this, which was the biggest worry of our relationship so that pressure of Ireland has gone, but he won’t directly text me and talk to me but he will Snapchat me or send me pictures and things on Facebook. What game is e playing?! What has he got to gain by doing all of this? I keep going round in my head saying he is playing me-but then I think what for?!!! I have told him j would give him the one thing he wants, and then I think is he trying to give us space to think but can’t fully not have contact wth me so keeps snap chatting and sending pics to me on Facebook- in which j think why not just talk to me?! Make sense?? So we aren’t together currently. But we are still going on a European trip together end of the month but I have no idea what to do right now. I am so lost. And seems as though he just doesn’t care.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 12, 2016 at 3:31 pm

      Hi Bianca,

      I’m going to be realistic here. You’re willing to give it all up and adjust.. Is he willing to do the same? His friends leave and now he changes his mind but even if you’re willing to do all that you can, he doesn’t seem to want to compromise with you right?

      But in his defense, maybe he’s just not that serious for a relationship yet. Maybe he does have feelings for you but he’s not that committed. Did you sleep with him after the break up? Don’t do it again. Do you want to do the no contact rule?

  17. Avatar

    Lorn'e

    November 9, 2016 at 2:43 am

    my boyfriend broke up with me a day after i told him that i didnt want to make everything so fast then after that i talked to him on social media and stuff and it was a normal conversation then he texted me “i think we should break up” then i asked why and he said we were distant but i dont know how we were

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 12, 2016 at 12:26 pm

      Hi Lorn’e,
      When did you broke up? How long were you together? How old are you and are you in a long distance relationship? How long was the relationship?

  18. Avatar

    Lisa

    November 8, 2016 at 11:22 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me after I sent him an email expressing some concerns I had, including that he may have unresolved feelings over the loss of his marriage, and sometimes if et frustrated that when I’m telling him
    Something serious, he turns to make it about himself. We have never had a big fight a typically have great communication and can talk about problems. 4 days earlier he was telling me he was daydreaming of our future together and feels that I am his perfect match. After the email, he cut me off, broke up with me in a text and turned to make it about how I devalued him. I was stunned and apologized for my insesatoce delivery and poor choice of words, and never meant to hurt him, but if that’s what he wanted I would respect it. I unfriended on Facebook because I don’t want to see him moving in because it will hurt me. He got really angry about it and lashed out… first blocking me. Keep in mind he is 44. He told me that have a lot to learn about relationships and that if I really wanted to talk about how this sucked up, I wouldn’t like what I was going to hear about myself. I said no thanks, im not interested in cruelty and though I could be cruel too, I chose not to with him, and good luck. I’m really stunned. I thought we were in love a few days ago and have never gotten this from him. I wouldn’t take him back after that, but I’m so hurt. I’m not sure what to do with it. I don’t know what to make of it because I don’t think it deserved that kind of response. I said something that may have been hard to hear, but not in an attacking way. I just at least wanted to have an adult Conversation with him about it, and even if it wasn’t going to work out, we could walk away in a friendly way. Why do I still want to hear from him? What do I do with this?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 12, 2016 at 11:04 am

      Hi Lisa,

      how long were you together? It looks like you’re in long distance relationship? How many times have you met in person? It’s normal that you still want to hear from him, you’re used to talking to him.

  19. Avatar

    Holly

    November 7, 2016 at 6:46 am

    Hey,

    My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday after an 11 months relationship. We are both 17, he said that all the fights and our differences torn us apart. The problem is that I am too needy and I always want him by my side… Which makes him annoyed because he doesn’t have enough of his ‘freedom’. We fight because we have a lack of trust in each other. Sometimes I feel like he would cheat, even though deep down inside of my heart I know he wouldn’t. Sometimes, he would avoid certain topics or lie just to stay out of our fights, and it really bothers me. However, I am willing to do any change that it takes… I want to know what can I do to get him back because he really means a lot to me. I would really like a second chance…

    1. Avatar

      Jas

      November 12, 2016 at 10:56 am

      Mine broke up with me yesterday, after a fight.. We were together for 7 months. I still love him, but didnt beg or whatsoever.. I just said ‘take care of yourself. X You are a great personen and deserve the best.’ and left … I miss him so much.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 12:59 am

      Hi Jasmine,

      how many days does he go silent and how many times has he done this?

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 7, 2016 at 7:37 pm

      Hi Holly,

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

  20. Avatar

    Kate

    November 5, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    Hi,
    My boyfriend and I broke up last week. Im 18 and he is 19, we we’re together for almost 2 years and before that we we’re bestfriends since highschool. Things started to go downhill when he asked me space for space 3 weeks back, he said that he was tired because all we do is fight and he just wanted to clear his head. He said that I should give him a week. I respected his decision but everyday i kept on sending good morning and good night messages to him. He said he missed me but he needs another week. So i didn’t text him the following and he came back. Things were all good and it went back to normal but 3 days before the official break up he kept on pushing me away or so i think he was. His grandfather was confined in the hospital having pancreatic cancer, he didn’t want to talk about it but i kept on bugging him that it was my right to know what he was feeling because as his girlfriend I will support him and be there for him. He got angry because I kept on bugging him he said that I didn’t understand what personal space is. I broke up with him but then took it back the day after and said sorry because I was just angry and frustrated with the situation. We then got to talk and he said that he wants to break up because at this point of time he wasn’t ready to have a relationship at the moment, he has a lot pf problems that he was facing and it wasn’t my fault it was his fault that he felt this way. He said that he still loves me and he will always have a special place in his heart. He said that maybe if the time comes if we were ment to be we might go back to each others arm. He wanted to see each other ASAP so we can talk personally. (We broke up via call) Immediately after the break up i kept on bombarding him with messages being a GNAT and begging him to take me back. At first we were talking but it was very limited but then he started not replying. He said he didn’t want to talk to me because we have broken up. He got pissed because i kept on texting him and he said that he didn’t love me anymore and he only sees his love for me as a friend. He said that I deserve better and the only thing that would make him happy is seeing me with another man. That hurt me but I’m confused he said before he still love me then when he got pissed he said that his love for me was only as a friend and he will be happy if I” in a different relationship. What should I do I read about the NC rule should I do it? It wouldn’t be hard because we study in different universities but What if he tottally moves on from me? I want to get back together with him because we made the best out of each other and we had the same goals in life. Btw this is the first time we’ve broken up. During the NC rule, should i still see him because we’ve planned to see each other so that we can have closure? What should I do when we meet? Thank you I hope you can answer me.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 6, 2016 at 11:06 pm

      Hi Kate,

      if you’re going to meet, meet first before starting the no contact rule.. There’s no guarantee that it will worl but gnatting him will just make your situation worse

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