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1,323 thoughts on “He Broke Up With You And Now You Want Him Back”

  1. Avatar

    Cate

    July 27, 2013 at 12:40 am

    Hey chris, so im in desperate need of advice I just got done reading how to get your ex back(amazing article btw) and I really want to try it out but before I do I want to know your personal advice if I should even try or just give up, so ill try to make it as short as possible me and my ex were together for about 3 years I got with him when I was 17 and he was 20 anyway after I graduated highschool me and him moved to another city together and we lived with eachother for two years and we were very much in love and were always with eachother we were eachothers bestfriends and couldn’t imagine our lives any different well about four months ago to this day me and him decided it would be best if I lived with my mom for a couple months to save up for my own car while I used her car to make it easier for us financially. I moved an hour away to a new city to help us in a long run, we promised to communicate everyday and we trusted eachother so we didn’t think it would be a big deal and to see eachother whenever we could, well we stuck to our promise and everything was going good until about the third month in we started to fight because I would get frustrated feeling like he wasn’t putting enough effort in talking to me but we would make up everytime say our sorries and that was it. Well the same month we had planned a fun trip to go to an amusement park with him and his friends well we went and I will admit I was very frustrated with him because I felt he was paying more attention to his friends then me and I didn’t feel that was right since we were already in a long distance relationship well that night when we got back to the house he said that he didn’t know how to make me happy I get upset over everything and he doesn’t think he can make me happy, well we talked then I asked him if he could see himself with anyone else and he always answered no I only want to be with you well that night he said yes, and I was so hurt and cried and he said he didn’t mean it like that and dropped it well I went back to my moms house the following day and and still bothered by that comment I had to go further into in and asked him why he would say that and basically his response because I don’t feel I can make you happy. well we got over that and a week passed and things started getting weird he was getting really distant and I would happily text him im moving back in a couple weeks are you excited?? and he wasn’t he was nervous and scared like he got cold feet of me coming back and his response would just be like im nervous about everything like financially and us etc but everything will be ok I just need to stop thinking about it.. so then the distance got worse and he said he really needed time to see what he wanted because he was so confused and he didn’t know what to do and I gave him his space and sorry long story short we broke up and his reason was we held eachother back in our relationships we got to consumed with eachother and never had time to grow and work on ourself he said he will always love me and wants us to remain friends and he wants me to stay in his life forever because what we had was special regardless of the situation and for me to contact him when im ready to talk again because he said he knows I will need time our break up was not bad he shedded tears and so did I because what he was telling me was right I was too wrapped up in this relationship where I wasn’t even trying to better myself or my happiness I just wanted to make him happy he was my first love so I never knew what it was like to be with anyone else anyway he said if we are meant to be we will find eachother in love again and maybe in the future we can start fresh and be with eachother again he did text me about a week and half after our break up and told me to text him anytime but I still haven’t but im trying to stop myself from contacting him because I did reply to his messages but talking to a couple family members and friends they believe it might have been more to the story that he might have found someone else I just need to know is there any hope ???

    1. admin

      admin

      July 28, 2013 at 4:03 am

      I am a firm believer that if you really want something or someone you should try everything you can before you give up. So, I say go for it!

  2. Avatar

    Kara

    July 25, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    My ex always told me he loved me and that if we ever broke up it would be because I decided to, not him because he was sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He always talked about the future, kids, marraige, where we would live, stuff like that. Our relationship was great, but for the last month of it he started getting frustrated with things about me, the fact that I didnt like it if he drank, and I wouldnt go very far with him physically. I think those 2 things caught up with him and he got so frustrated. I hated disappointing him and I felt like we had different expectations of each other so I broke up with him, but he agreed on the break up. But for a week we couldnt stop texting each other saying how much we missed the other and we got back together. He said letting us break up was the biggest mistake of his life and that being together felt so right. We were back together 8 days and then he broke up with me. In those 8 days he had a different girl sleep in his bed one night. I dont know what they did for sure…but I know now that we broke up they are friends with benefits. And she has a boyfriend and he doesnt know about what she’s doing. She cheated on her last boyfriend with over 30 guys. But she’s convinced my ex that cheating isnt really cheating if its fun cause %&^ is fun. His opinion always was that the number one thing he hated most was a cheater and he’d NEVER cheat. He was such a sweet, caring boyfriend who did ANYTHING for me. He put me number one in his life. But now I question if his infatuation with me ever was love, or if he just loved having a girl around and he thought I would eventually give into him physically? I really want him back , but yet at the same time either he’s changed or maybe I never knew his full self when we were dating based on his actions now? I’m confused on what to think about him. He has been texting me saying he wants me back and misses me, but he wants me back in an open relationship and I said a big fat NO to that cause its no different than cheating. Now he has been ignoring me ever since I said no to that. Should I ever contact him again? Because I would enjoy just being his friend. But is it wrong or too hard to be friends after that? Or should I just never contact him again?

    1. admin

      admin

      July 26, 2013 at 3:05 am

      Kara,

      Pretty name by the way!

      I think the physical thing and the drinking thing did catch up to you. I think it’s more about the physical thing though. It’s not hard to know what men want really. We all want $%^.

      The open relationship thing he is trying to pull is ridiculous though. Do you think his mind will change on that? I don’t think you should get involved with him if that is what he ultimately wants.

    2. Avatar

      Kara

      July 26, 2013 at 3:27 pm

      He did say he could see us dating again like normal after I live another year of my life. He said I need to experience life more without him holding me back and focus on myself and if he’s still what I want we can be committed again, but this year should be without commitment. But I think a relationship like that would hurt me too much. I’d ALWAYS worry about the other girl and it would feel like cheating. Right now all I think I want from him is to be his friend. Before we dated, we were best friends, and now a great friend in my life is missing, whether he’s a romantic part in my life or not. Last time I texted him, he immediately posted a status that said “I’ve got a list of sins 20 miles long. Don’t even bother talking to me anymore cause I’m not worth it.” It confused me…

    3. admin

      admin

      July 28, 2013 at 3:50 am

      Give him his space. He has some stuff he is obviously working through.

  3. Avatar

    Dina

    July 22, 2013 at 11:57 pm

    My boyfriend of 1 and a half year broke up with me a week ago during an argument. We argued before but i don’t know what makes this one so serious. Up until 2 days ago , he still had a picture of us as his profile picture and everything. I havent contacted him, nor has he tried to contact me.
    I really don’t know what i should do.

    1. admin

      admin

      July 23, 2013 at 3:23 am

      Take a few days for yourself and enter into NC.

  4. Avatar

    Sami

    July 19, 2013 at 12:12 am

    Hi Chris, thanks for the great articles, I just want to see what you think of my situation, and if there is any point on trying this:(

    I was with my boyfriend for 7 years, since i was 14 he was 16. For the past year things haven’t been the greatest. he started becoming overly attached to a stupid ipad game that consumed almost every hour of his day except for the few hours at the gym, this was hard for me because we have lived together for approx 4 years, because even though we living together, we’d rarely spend time together, at first i expressed my frustration with the game and told him to stop playing it, but he would always end up doing it anyway. I got to the point where i just let it go and let him. the past few years have been tough for me in other areas, having had 3 car accidents, jaw problem, neck and back, and then last year my hair started falling out crazily! i became a very stressed person but i think his lack of attention and consideration/affection towards me made the problems seem alot worse. We went to america last year and i had to pay for part of his holiday for him to actually agree to come, the past 6 months maybe even more i really tried to make things great between us, id make him amazing meals, not for anything in return, i just did it because i am that kind of person and so he’d appreciate it. but then id be sitting at the table wit this gourmet meal going cold why he would be on the lounge on his ipad on the game and chatting to other players. same goes if id want to go somewhere together, id have to ask literally a good 15 + times, even just to watch a movie together took hours, then he’d be back on his ipad. after dealing with this for so long of course after the 10000 times of asking id end up going from polite, to upset, to mad and then it would lead to a fight. this was why he left 3 weeks ago. because i wanted to watch a movie and he was in a bad mood and was shrugging me off. so it esculated and he left. he just got a job in the mines he leaves next week, and he said he hasnt been in it for ages and doesnt love me anymore and was going to write me a letter before he went to the mines anyway:( but he would talk about getting a good phone network to call me etc? so i dont get it. It just hurts because he was so oblivious to everything i tried to do for him and us and just held onto the times when id yell because i was hurt from how he treated me. he said me being upset p**** him off, ive seen him since he was still happy to hang out with me, he said for me, so made it like he was obligated to. but id just get upset and then he’d get annoyed. he said he was happy how things are now etc. i dont know if that will change when his away in the mines but he said even if he does miss me he wont come back. he has a really strange way of thinking and i have a feeling this article would applyy to every male but him. then again could he just be playing a tough front to me? I’m scared if he does miss me he will be strong enough to not come back because he didnt think it could work or because he knows he screwed me over and i deserve better. But, i know we can be happy, with my life picking back up im alot more positive (other than this situation of course) and I know i wont be so naive to how things were and would try and control my feelings better. Do you think he sounds like hes done for good and there is no hope?? i just keep thinking of the times he treated me good in the past and i feel like i did something wrong to change the way he treated me. its almost been a month and it seems like its only getting harder, the thought of being with someone else is horrible. I was happy and still am happy as long as its mutual to be with only him for life. 🙁 your thoughts and advice would be very appreciated!

    thanks
    Sami

    1. admin

      admin

      July 19, 2013 at 2:11 am

      Hello Sami,

      I like video games too. However, I don’t like them so much that they consume my life and all my free time. Well, except maybe last christmas where I got the batman arkham games and was in my room all day long playing BUT that was a special case hahahaha.

      Here is what I think happened. The two of you had a major problem. He was ignoring you which upset you and all he got from you was anger b/c you were upset he was ignoring you for some silly game.

      I think this time away will be good for both of you. I think you can give it a try to get back together but take some time for yourself before you make your ultimate decision. Really think if HE is the one you want back. He may not be as great as you ultimately think.

    2. Avatar

      Sami

      July 19, 2013 at 1:34 pm

      so do you think the damage is done:( and this is likely not going to work? i think we both just got too comfortable and because i had taken time off work and uni we didnt have our own independence, I probably just took things to heart more than normal because my other problems aswell so i feel like i played a part in pushing him away:( I can just see what did and didnt work now so I know if we both gave it a chance to do over things would be different. Im commencing studies again next week which i was doing anyway just gonna be hard to focus now, and ive also decided to move out of home( we lived with my mum) to get some independence back and learn to rely on myself a little more, going to yoga/ meditation. I definitely didnt want things to stay the way they were or go back to that if we were to get back together. I msged him at the beginning of the week to have lunch and he replied yes with a smiley face so what do u think his motive behind being willing to hang out is? then i asked if he was happy and he said yes thats when i got upset and then he started shutting down. should i have just left it and made the lunch a good experience and acting like things were good? Im just scared that doing that now would make him think that its ok to have his single freedom life but he can also have me in it when he wants me there as a friend and that might help him move on?? should i continue to see him as a friend or should I do the no contact and let him go to the mines where he has no friends and is alone so he can have time to think?? then maybe ask to hang out when his back for his break? he told my mum he does miss me and he said he told me he has times where ofcourse he misses me, but he could just be saying it like he misses me being around out of habit and not actually missing me as a person. cause he ignores my texts when i do text and doesnt make contact with me. I know i am definitely not ready for a rebound but i know he has been out do u think it would be easy for a guy after 7 years to just go out after 3 weeks of breaking up and want to get with girls? im just saying this because if he can truely do that, i dont want to waste my time hoping and trying to get back with someone like that?

      sorry about all the weird questions and if i sound like abit of a lost cause, thats what almost 10 years of being with someone and loving someone who doesnt love u back does i guess:(

      thanks

    3. admin

      admin

      July 19, 2013 at 10:27 pm

      I think you should enter No Contact immediately. Every time you text him and he doesn’t respond it hurts your chances. Give him some time to think in the mines. I don’t think the damage is done or anything like that I just think that time away would do you both really good.

  5. Avatar

    Anna

    June 23, 2013 at 11:26 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me because “his feelings for me have changed”. We lived together and I saw him teared up everyday when he saw me after the breakup. Today I moved out and he cried and told me how he never meant to hurt me and he wished he felt differently. I handled the breakup really well and didn’t beg or plead or anything. Today I told him we must just not be right for each other and that’s ok, although inside I was dying. Is this situation salvageable?

    Also, I’m getting ready to start the no contact period tomorrow, but he is going to go through a bunch of our stuff and separate what is mine next weekend, so we will have to make contact. Do I have to start the NC period then, or if I just swing by when he isn’t home to pick up my stuff can it be a freebie??

    Thanks!

    1. admin

      admin

      June 24, 2013 at 1:33 am

      Hi Anna,

      Sorry to hear about your breakup. It can be especially tough on a couple that was living together. I do think your situation is salvagable as long as you give it some time. Have you checked out this page: http://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/ ?

      And yes, you can have that freebie ;). It is no big deal if you make contact when you are sorting through your stuff as long as you keep the conversations light and pleasant.

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