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1,323 thoughts on “He Broke Up With You And Now You Want Him Back”

  1. Avatar

    Sara

    July 9, 2017 at 6:36 am

    Hi, Amor
    I know I’ve been commenting a lot on the post…
    I just, you know, I know I shouldn’t but I think too much about why he left, what I could have done wrong…It’s hard to know what was his reason because he told a lot of reasons and they just weren’t like “real”, I feel they weren’t. It was more like a “it’s not you, it’s me” and I’ve been thinking and I know it’s not true, I feel I made so many mistakes and I wasn’t as good girlfriend as I thought I was. I’m improving, and I know what to change, but even with all my past mistakes, would he take me back?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 7:40 pm

      The question is, how are you now? If you were in his position, would you be interested?

  2. Avatar

    Lala

    June 21, 2017 at 4:33 pm

    My boyfriend and I started our relationship long distance. We’d fight sometimes just because of the distance. How we wanted to be together but couldn’t. We managed to see each other once a month. We worked these past few months to get everything lined up for him to move to my state so we could finally be together. June 1st I flew up to meet him and we started our drive down. We had small fights along the way but managed to get through them bc we were about to be together in the same state. After being here a week we went out. It was getting late and he started talking to these guys. I told him I was tired and he said 5 mins. One of the guys brought back another round of beers. I told him I was going outside. I sat in my car trying to rest my eyes. 15 mins later I went in and told him I was leaving. He asked how he was getting home. I said I don’t know, Uber, but I’m leaving now. He left with me but didn’t say a word. We showed up to his places and he waved for me to leave. The next day he showed up at my parents house and broke up with me. He said it’s always my way or the highway just like it was at the bar. I chased him in the rain and begged for him to talk to me but he was recording our conversation and refused to say anything other than please move and I’m done being in a relationship with you. We had talked about kids and so on together. I’m just confused with how he could let this all go like it’s nothing when we fought so hard to get in the same stateess than 5 miles from each other. He returned my calls, texts, or emails in over a week.

    1. Avatar

      Lala

      June 21, 2017 at 4:35 pm

      Sorry he *hasnt returned any of my calls or texts or emails

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 23, 2017 at 5:26 pm

      Look like he got tired.. Are you going to try the advice above?

  3. Avatar

    Jane

    June 15, 2017 at 3:50 am

    My ex bf broke up with me and chose someone else. Right now im the 1st week of no contact period. But for the next days, I think he will already bring the girl back to our old place (I moved out) and I just imagine so many things that will happen. To prevent this, I think of staying at the same area, just the next unit so that he will be ashamed of bringing th girl there. But I will still surely not talk to him. Is it the right decision?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 17, 2017 at 6:39 am

      Nope.. don’t let your life decisions depend on trying to stop him on what he’s going to do with his..

  4. Avatar

    Aishwarya

    May 13, 2017 at 5:45 am

    Hi.. Me n my ex were dating for 1.5 years…Everything went well for the first year.. Then v were in LDR and he lives with his parents… Since his family is too orthodox we never got time to talk… Eventually we never spoke to each other over days.. I kept nagging and asking him to come back and meet me… He said he doesnt like to break up but he feels it wont work out… I really love him a lot…wat do i do abt this??
    Pls help me

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 13, 2017 at 2:50 pm

  5. Avatar

    Laura

    April 17, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    i was friends with my ex for a few years before i fell in love with him, then we went on 2 dates and he said that he didn’t want to go on anymore dates with me. Six months later we became boyfriend and girlfriend. We dated for over a year and a month ago he broke up with me, He called me to explain his issues with the relationship and i didn’t know that at the time and i got so scared that i din’t know what to say. he said he was acting like a tv bf for me and i don’t want that i love him for him and i would do anything to make him happy. My friends told me recently that he thought i was obsessed with him but i know that i am really not. a week after the breakup i called him to apologize for all the mistakes i made and he said “what do you want” and i said “i want you to forgive me and i hope we can still be friends” and he said that he forgives me and that we can. Two days after that phone call one of my friends told me that he said he will never get back together with me. After that i started the no contact period and i haven’t contacted him in three weeks and the 30 days will be over in about 1 week. What should i do to get him back? what should i do to prove i’m not obsessed? what should i do with everything he got me i’ve been hiding them but i don’t know how long i should keep hiding them?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 22, 2017 at 3:42 pm

      Restart the no contact period and click this link:
      The Ungettable Girl

  6. Avatar

    Blake

    April 17, 2017 at 1:05 am

    I had been dating a guy for about 7 months. We never really made it “official” because from the very beginning he told me he didn’t want a relationship. I said it was fine because at that time it was. But as time went on I met his whole family, when his sister had her baby I was invited me to go meet his new little nephew ect. We were practically official but neither one of brought it up. Everything was fine, we never fought always had fun. Then I got blindsided.. out of no where last month he said that he was second guessing being in a relationship or anything. That he wants to do whatever he wants when he wants. (which is was weird because I’ve never once told him he couldn’t do something) anyways he said he still likes me but wants things to be more “causal”. I told him I wasn’t sure if I could but I’d try.. so we still talked here and there.. we hadn’t seen each other in almost a month. So I asked to hangout.. he replied with “I have plans Friday with Tommy. Possibly Sunday” I said “alright, sounds good”. Sunday comes along and I texted asking if were gonna hang out.. I never got a response. He ignored me. Of course my feelings were hurt and then I sent a very long text message stating how it hurt my feelings.. it was rude blah blah. Nothing mean but just how I felt. It’s now going on two weeks.. I haven’t reached out and he hasn’t said anything either. I’m trying the no contact rule.. but I should I just give up?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 22, 2017 at 1:34 pm

      Try to finish the no contact rule first..date others, improve yourself and be active in posting

  7. Avatar

    Pauline

    April 12, 2017 at 7:30 am

    My boyfriend of 14 months broke up with me 8 weeks ago. he was the love of my life. I believed I was his. I haven’t done the no contact. Today he told me he is no longer in love with me. Can no contact still work after this long time has passed. I feel like part of me has been amputated. I want our relationship to be amazing like it was again. Please give me the best advice. I promise to follow any and all.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 13, 2017 at 6:17 pm

      there’s no guarantee that it will. It can only help increase your chances. Try at least 30 days, be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media.

  8. Avatar

    Lyn

    April 9, 2017 at 1:04 am

    Hello,

    My boyfriend and I were dating for 3 years and we’re currently in the early mid 20’s. This is the first serious relationship for both of us. He was the best, he took care of me and was always there when I needed him. Recently he got sick when I was preparing for my cousin’s birthday party, and I thought he was just making up excuses not to come, but only to find out he was really sick (emotionally). He said that I should find someone else that can give me commitment as he doesn’t see himself committing in the future. I asked if we can compromise and he said he doesn’t want to experience again what had experienced before as a child (not being financially stable and his parents were together but not happy). He asked me to give him some space, so we only saw each other 3-4 times a week. During those times I couldn’t help but feel like there’s someone else, so I checked his browsing history only to find he’s been constantly checking a colleagues Facebook page. So I confronted him and told him how I felt and told him to try and not talk to her outside work as respect for me while we’re going through this, but he kept on talking to her. According to him, there’s nothing going on between them and they’re just friends and told me to trust him, but it’s just so hard to believe when there’s evidence right in front of me. So I asked him again why he wanted to break up and finally spilled. According to him, I was never happy with him and I put pressure on him all the time (by meeting my family, going on trips with me), when he just wants to chill at home. I was unknowingly putting pressure on to him for things he doesn’t want to do, like commitment and having a family in the future and I used guilt to get him to do things he doesn’t want to do. Apparently he sacrificed so much for me like his friends, his hobbies and seeing his family overseas for a long time (cause i’ll miss him too much). I apologised and asked him to forgive me for what i’ve done, and he said he can forgive me but not forget. I realised how much I hurt him and treated him, but at the same time I love him so much and I don’t want to let him go and I was willing to do everything I can to fix our relationship. We gave it 3 weeks and I poured all my love to him, but he said it was too late and it reminded him of things I should’ve done before and his feelings for me have changed ever since the day he got sick. He said that even though we were together before he felt alone as I wasn’t giving him the love back he was giving to me. He said it felt like he was just taking care of me. I asked him if there was anything to change his mind and he said he doesn’t know. I really want him back in my life and i’m willing to pour out all I can to have back what we had. Please help me, I feel so broken and alone. I don’t know know what life is like without him anymore. How do I get his feelings back for me?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 10, 2017 at 6:25 pm

      Hi lyn,

      do you want to try the advice above?

  9. Avatar

    Claire

    April 3, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    Hi,
    My boyfriend of 2 years (3 if you count a previous attempt) broke up with me over a month ago. I already broke the NC rule a couple of times before I even saw this, so is there really a point in waiting another month? Will it have the same impact? We were super good before it, but we had a disagreement and I became naggy and jealous and he switched off and became spiteful, and that lasted about a week until we split up. So the reason was an emotional clash, which if you ask me wasn’t a very good reason and was very rash. He said he still wants to be a part of my life since we were best of friends before we tried dating, but for me we’re in too deep and theres no going back. I hate that we ended like this. Please help me out. Thank you.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 4, 2017 at 5:21 pm

      Hi Claire,
      Restart the no contact rule, and don’t just be silent and wait. Be active in improving yourself and healing and in posting in social media.

  10. Avatar

    Sweetu

    March 30, 2017 at 2:37 am

    Hello dear,
    My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he received a bad news from his home country regarding his mom condition that she will only live for 6 months because of breast cancer.Upon receiving the news he immediately booked a ticket and decided to breakup with me coz he chose his mom over our relationship which is understandable.He immediately resigned to his job and went home to his country and he said he wanted to spend much time with his mom.But i begged that he can still come back to me if he will settle his prob in his country but he said he will never come back.I am his first serious relationship and he was also my ist and only boyfriend and i thought we would end up together but he is so far away now.He also cried over the phone when we broke up, his voice was cracked while i was crying so hard.Thinking i would never see him again.Is it really possible that he doesnt love me anymore?Our communication is still open but he seldom replies.Pls. help me what to do.thanksBest regards.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 30, 2017 at 6:01 pm

      Hi Sweetu,

      It looks like he just wants to focus on his mom now instead of maintaining a relationship or trying to maintain communication with you while taking care of his mom too.. If I were you, I would take the back seat and let him.. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you but right now, he has to give all his time and love for his mom

  11. Avatar

    Maria

    March 20, 2017 at 9:10 am

    Hiiii.i am 20 years old and my ex boyfriend is22.he is the only guy I can imagine my future with.he was my best friend.eventually we started chatting through WhatsApp.i think that talks made a profound bond between us from each day.he is very caring . One day he asked me whether I love him or not.i said that I like him without a doubt.he also said the Same thing though,one can easily understand that relationship as love,we were actually not in love.at first we couldn’t pause our conversation for even a few minutes. then we practices a complusive silence because of the thought about some up coming family problems from both sides and he has some financial problems.we were in state of uncertainty because of these factors . He even restrained from the relationship.but I couldn’t accept that situation.i waited for some day and I proposed him seriously but his reply was he love me but he can’t love me.because my parents not allowed to get Marry and he have so many financial problems .He has a life only after his life was settled.and now he says that he can be my best friend.i am very depressed .What can I do now

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 24, 2017 at 4:08 pm

      Hi Maria,

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

  12. Avatar

    Gina

    March 9, 2017 at 12:34 am

    Hi! I have a boyfriend of 2 years and 4 mons already. I became a really jealous and possessive type of girlfriend. I accepted him for who he is. Even when I’ve got to know who he is when he is still in high school. Everyone says he is the flirty kind of guy that he even flirt with his friends. He said he did change already but I wasn’t convinced that’s why I became this shit girlfriend. So I was so mad at one night where I came to the point that I told my boyfriend that I give up. He accepted the breakup and now I feel so regret about it. We’ve talk through phone and I told him that maybe we can try one more month. It took some time before he agrees with it. He told me that “I’m doing this for you not for us” and whenever I ask him if there’s a possibility if he’ll be able to change his mind and get back together he answered “No. I’m sorry” … However it was almost last week of january 2017 the last time we saw each other. Now since I have 1 month. I would like to see him and bring to amusement park wherein we both really like to go when we were still dating. Do you think if I show him my bright, funny, smiling side, do you think he might be able to realize that we can still work?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 12, 2017 at 11:09 am

      Hi Gina

      did you improve in the past month? If you are following the nc rule, that means you should improve yourself and be active in posting in social media and then slowly build rapport after through texts first, then calls and then meet ups.

  13. Avatar

    Nina

    March 1, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    I met a guy a month ago online. He lived in CA and I lived in NY but we decided to meet up anyways, and what was a 2 hour brunch turned into an all day affair. We didn’t have sex because I felt like I didn’t know him enough at the time. We stayed in touch and 2 weeks later, decided that I should visit him since he could not travel due to work. We decided to book 2 trips because I was travelling for work and could get a free trip to CA. We talked everyday for a month and were really excited to see each other again. I was worried that we wouldn’t work out and I would be stuck with a second ticket, but he reassured me that it would be fine. I visited him and he decided that he did not want to be with me and said that it might be better if I didn’t take that second trip to CA to see him. I was devastated since I really liked him and felt that everything was great, and even slept with him because I felt we connected. I was also stressed since I had my tickets in and out of CA to go back to Europe for work and I couldn’t change the tickets. I was also a little hurt cause I had slept with him and felt used or perhaps he dumped me because he got what he wanted. I really liked him so I asked why and he said distance and also that he might be deployed, and also felt like we were opposites. I tried to convince him that we weren’t opposites on important things, and that I was willing to work with the distance and deployment if he was. I asked him if those were really the reasons, and if it was something more with chemistry or attraction. He said that he would think about it. I was really worried about the tickets so I got needy and tried really hard to reason with him to try to take me back, and after one really long string of text from me, he said that I was “that girl” and he had enough. He didn’t want anymore texts, calls, or communication and in fact I shouldn’t text back. I texted back I’m sorry and that a lot of it was stress and worry over the travel arrangements and I hoped he would be understanding. No response. I have since found out that he has blocked me on everything (insta/ text) except whatsapp (which he recently checked our last sting but has not blocked me on yet). How do I get him back by fixing my clingyness but also with the long distance factor involved?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 1, 2017 at 10:02 pm

      Hi Nina,

      to be honest, it’s a small chance. First, it does look like he just wants to sleep with you, it’s a very short relationship and it’s long distance. It’s not a guarantee that the nc rule will work, but it’s your only option other than moving on. I think you should do at least 21 days.

  14. Avatar

    Alice

    February 28, 2017 at 6:24 am

    February 28.
    Hi there,my bf broke up with me 3 days ago.we knew each other by facebook for about a year .and had relationship for 1month.he always cared me..told me he loves me..and want to marry me.i sometimes wanted to check if he loves me and told him that i would leave when he didn’t call me.just to make sure that he loves me more..but oneday as he texted me that he doesn’t want to keep this relationship ,he thought about it overnight and we are different. .so he didn’t want to hurt me ..
    Then i called him many times .begged to keep contact atleast..told his female close friend to make him understand that i love him..i told him sry if i hv done mistake and i loved him..but he told me not to call or text.
    He was in a relationship with his childhood friend since 6 yrs and broke up 7 months ago..he wanted to return her back but she broke up..he started smoking from then
    When i requested him further he told me that when he talks with me his ex comes in his mind more and he smokes more.. (i forbade him to smoke)..and he cant live without his ex..he also told me”you don’t have any fault its my fault ..you re too good. .but it’s not possible to continue with u.i will pray so that nobody hurts u”..i love him so much ..cant concentrate in studies. .exam is knocking at the door..but i miss him like hell..what should I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2017 at 8:28 pm

      Hi Alice,

      have you met in person? How many times? Do you want to try the advice above?

  15. Avatar

    Yola

    February 23, 2017 at 9:49 pm

    Go
    My boyfriend is 21 and I’m 23, we were best friend for the past 3years we do the same course nd in the same class he once asked me out in 2014 but I took it as a home then last year it happened 2016..I dated a guy b4 him so when I dated him I was not sure if I still had feelings for the old guy so I went to visit him then he found out nd never told me he found out, we went to different towns he wasn’t giving me any attention so I lied and said I cheated..then he said twice and asked for a break afterwards he said he doesnt trust me I gt calls nd I don’t answer them infront of me, when I’m not with him his wondering who I am with…so he can’t trust me nd he doesnt want to be in a relationship at the moment this happened yesterday I havnt begged back and I’m not sure what to do.

    1. Avatar

      Yola

      February 28, 2017 at 11:58 am

      I’ve tried everything there, he even told his friend that he will never get back togethere with me…he says I lie to him…I think his made up his mind

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2017 at 9:09 pm

      Hi Yola,

      What do you mean by there? Have you read this one: You Cheated On Your Boyfriend And Now You Want Him Back. Why not try the advice in that one? or check this one too:
      Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2017 at 10:13 pm

      Hi Yola,

      check this one:
      This Is How To Make Him Trust You Again

  16. Avatar

    Broken

    February 18, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    I’m at a complete loss in what to do about my ex boyfriend who broke up with me 4 weeks ago. Overall we had a good relationship for 9 months. Occasional disagreements, and I admit he wasn’t the best at handling them. We both deal with issues of anxiety, and when a disagreement would happen he’d shut down, but would always come back after to talk things out. Twice, however, he said he wanted to breakup, but both times he immediately recanted. I didn’t think this time he really meant it, but here we are.

    His sited reasons were that we had a volatile relationship, which I completely disagree with. The only volatility that I really felt came from his reactions to disagreements. More than that, however, he told me he can’t forgive me for something that I did. I’m embarrassed and ashamed to admit this, but for the first 7 months of our relationship, when I would go out drinking with friends, I would bully my ex before him in text messages. I was never seeking to have him back, but hadn’t been able to let go of the anger that I had towards him from our breakup more than a year prior. I wasn’t still in love with him at all, and even question if I ever really was in love with him. Despite that, I made a huge mistake, and he sought legal action against me. This happened back in December. I came clean to my most recent ex about what had happened, and rightfully so he was very mad at me. He stated that I broke his trust. We had multiple long conversations about it, and he told me that he felt that we could potentially be stronger from this, and that he felt he would be able to rebuild trust with me. He promised that he would always be by my side, that I was his everything and his world, and that he would never leave me. He told me often enough and would ask me if I believed him until I finally said that I did.

    In an unrelated disagreement the day prior to break up, he threw in my face what was previously happening with my prior ex. I was upset and hurt by this, and asked him to leave me alone. The next day he wanted to come over after work, but I already saw that his sister had deleted and blocked to me on Instagram, so I knew what it was about. Then he came over to talk, and said that he tried over the last month but couldn’t forgive me, said that what I did wasn’t normal but that he’s not normal either, and kept bringing up that I’m suspicious about him with his friends and other girls, which I have told him many times in the past that I am not because I truly am not. He left saying that he was sorry that this didn’t work out.

    I look back on an old text and an email, and it reminded me of the times that he told me how before me he knew he wanted to be a father, but until he met me he never actually saw that being a reality for him. He wanted that future with me. But here we are. A couple days after the breakup, he completely blocked me and every way possible. Social media, email, phone number. All unprovoked. He then also had his one friend that I was friends with on Facebook delete and block me. He deactivated his social media accounts. I didn’t know if this was meant to hurt me, or his way of coping. Whatever the reason, it has hurt me deeply. I did send him a letter a week ago apologizing for my mistakes, letting him know the ways that I am getting help for my own issues to be better for myself and for him, and telling him how important a future with him had meant to me because I hadn’t said it prior. I asked him if he still loves me and there’s a chance to reconcile, so please let me know, and if not to also let me know, and I will respect his decision. I also promise that I would never inflict harm on him the way I did with my prior ex, because I actually do love him and don’t want to hurt him.

    Last four weeks have felt like a year, and for some reason the last week since I sent the letter has felt like an eternity. This is the man that I truly want to spend the rest of my life with, and I’m scared and don’t know how to get him to open communication with me again. Or even if what I did is forgivable. What I find further interesting is the girl that he dated prior to me had it disappeared on him completely and then suddenly reappeared with a new boyfriend. When I asked about her he referred to her as being crazy. He was still friends with her on Instagram, however, and she was constantly liking every single picture he posted that didn’t have me in it. I told him I felt uncomfortable by this, so he deleted her although I didn’t ask him to directly. I was more looking for an explanation as to why he kept her in his life despite how she hurt him. And now I’m wondering why still given the fact that he has completely shut me out for a lesser offense. I don’t believe there any coincidences in life, and I do see that as of two days ago she is newly single from the boyfriend that she had left my ex for. There’s no proof that there’s anything between them, but it does have me very concerned.

    How long should I expect to wait for any acknowledgment of receiving my letter? I know he does take a long time to process things. Is there any hope for reconciliation? How do I get him to open communication with me? Please help. (Sorry for the novel.)

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 20, 2017 at 6:10 pm

      Hi Broken,

      if you’re sure that he has received the letter, then count 1 week after that.. If he doesn’t respond, start the 45 days no contact period.. Whether or not he is talking with his previous ex, you should focus your energy and attention now to improving yourself instead of just waiting for him.. after that, try to initiate contact.

  17. Avatar

    TessmAria

    February 16, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    So I’m in a tough spot a little over a week ago my boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me. I feel completely blindsided. He said he doesn’t see a future with me and doesn’t love me. He said he wishes we never would have dated because it’s hard on him loosing our friendship. I was so shocked and hurt. He said he needs a few days to think about what he did. I gave him a few days. He then says it’s ok I can’t be in his life and that he knows its best if we both move on. I am still upset because we also work together. We kind of had closure. I said I know it’s real because you didn’t talk or want to be around me at work. He sAid I need to accept the break up and his feelings never grew for me after 8 months. I want him back but I’m not sure what to do. We are in week one of no contact.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 16, 2017 at 9:02 pm

      HI Tess maria,

      You need to check this one:
      EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

  18. Avatar

    Veronica

    February 10, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    hi….my name is veronica and me and my boyfriend broke up today and he said he has family issues and i asked him thats what he wanted and he said yes….and i dont want we have been dating for 3mths and we did everything together…what should i do?

    1. Avatar

      Veronica

      February 13, 2017 at 3:02 pm

      sure i will try it…

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2017 at 4:16 pm

      that’s good..do at least 30 days and aim to be the ungettable girl.
      The Ungettable Girl

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 10, 2017 at 11:38 pm

      Hi Veronica,

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

  19. Avatar

    Linda

    February 10, 2017 at 10:57 am

    I was dating a guy for about 4.5 months and from the very moment we spoke I told him that I have 3 kids and I’m on my own. I am in no way dependant on anyone (except for family who babysit for me). I have my own car, my own house, work full-time etc. He had told me earlier about his hesitation about the kids and I completely understood, but he said he wanted to continue to see me. Frome our first phone Convo to the night before he broke up with me we would talk to each other every day some how. So we were very much connected and aware of what was going on in each other’s lives. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. He came over to my house (I thought we were going out or spending time at home), and a good 20mins after we chatted (our usual chit chat), he said he couldn’t see me anymore because he could see himself with kids eight now. Boy was I hit hard. I was not expecting that at all! Not since there was no heads up really about us talking or him having concerns. We both said we’d like to be friends… And I truly mentioned it. The next day I, out of habit, snapchatted home along with my other friends. He snapped back that night I responded and then realized this was not good. We were going about this as if nothing happened and I was still heartbroken and crying. So I stopped all contact. Well he texted a couple of times referring to thing I had got him for Christmas and situations I could relate to. I again ignored it. He proceeded to send me snaps as well. Made the mistake of viewing them but did not respond. I had posted something about my Daughter’s dental visit in Instagram and later that evening he texted to asked how she was. This actually made me angry! He told me he wasn’t ready for kids and couldn’t see me and now he’s asking me how they are? I ignored it and I got 3 Snapchat chats from him since them and I have not viewed them. Why is he sending me these mixed messages? If I continue this NC period with him should I then initiate conversation? How long do I wait? Is there a possibility that we could still have something later?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 10, 2017 at 7:28 pm

      Hi Linda,

      If he is saying the truth, move on. Because right now, he might just be like that, being friendly, because he misses you because he’s used to having you in his life. so that means he might be thinking that after a few days, it’s ok to be friendly now.. if what he said is a deal breaker, move on.

      If you still want to try with him, the question is, have you improved yourself and were you active in posting in social media? If yes, initiate contact after 30 days. If not, restart the count. Take it slow after nc, and also keep in mind what he said. That means if you agree with what he said, then you have to be clear that he’s just your boyfriend right now, not the potential step father of your children. But of course, you need to set limits on until when it’s like that because if it’s really a serious relationship, he has to step up to that role.

  20. Avatar

    lily

    January 29, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    Hi ok basically I’m confused I had been with my ex for 9 months and he is 7 years older than me we started great he did everything the correct way was a proper gentleman spoke to my parents from the beginning he spoke about our future, he travelled for work and I always trusted him I never once doubted him, we never had sex because he wanted to wait until marriage we had our odd argument but I understand he hadn’t had a relationship in 5 years but we always got over it and handled it and basically in December he went away for four weeks and I was fine he said we would make it work and he would speak to me there because there was a 5 hour time difference slowly by the end of the second week he started changing, he was being snappy and rude I couldn’t ask him questions, he was hiding stuff from me that I was finding out elsewhere, he stopped saying I love you, he never said that he missed me, and he never once called me as the weeks went by he started contacting me less and less and then when he came back I went to pick him up with his mum and he was fine kissed me and hugged me like nothing we went back to his house and it was literally like he never left, it was amazing obviously I did want to talk about what happened but he came to my house the next day to eat and he just said that he didn’t love me anymore so I was shocked because his actions were saying the opposite so I just stayed silent and he left, I was sooo confused and in shock that 3 days later I went to his house just because I don’t like leaving things unsaid and well I didn’t say anything when it happened and he couldn’t look at me he couldn’t sit next to me he avoided eye contact my picture was still in his room and he was still adamant that he had no feelings for me and he wouldn’t look me in the eye he said he needed two weeks to think. ok I left and then he contacted me on the second week Wednesday just casual to see how I was in uni, how my family was and just a normal conversation like before the break up, he then messaged me on the Friday inviting me to his church, I went and he hugged me too tight and started walking with his arm around me I got out of it because thats not right and once again it was like nothing changed, we went to eat and he didn’t talk about the two weeks thinking he did he just spoke about everything like we were together again, we shared a meal. before we left I told him that I forgive him for whatever he did in the evening he messaged me saying thank you for going and I sent him in a way like a goodbye message just wishing him the best and that whatever he did I hope he can forgive himself and just stuff like that. the next day he tried over message picking a fight with me about what I had written and I just sent him a pic of him and another girl in the club which was taken whilst he was away so I just said I just wanted honesty because things can be sooo easily misunderstood and I hd more pics he said he would explain them, then the conversation moved on once again sending me picture like he would when we were dating. I never once messaged him all these conversations he started. two weeks passed and he messaged me saying sorry for being ungrateful that we were meant to meet (which we never really agreed on) but if I would like to go out to eat the following weekend and then he went on to tell me some family problems which he always trusted me with and then asked about uni told me about his work and then went to bed. I haven’t met up with him yet but I just have no idea what to think because he messages me when I least expect it, he still has our picture in his room and on his Instagram and Facebook pages, I just don’t know what he wants. he said he wanted to remain friends but needed time and didn’t want to speak straight after the break up but yet he contacts me, he said he didn’t love me and had 4 weeks to get over it whilst away but after the break up his mum told he locked himself up in his room for two days straight, I just don’t get it it came out of nowhere can I have some advice please, thank you

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 29, 2017 at 2:04 pm

      Hi Lily,
      he may have had the grass is greene feeling when he was away.. check the link below:
      The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

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