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1,328 thoughts on “He Broke Up With You And Now You Want Him Back”

  1. Emmaline

    April 15, 2020 at 9:45 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago because I became very depressed and suicidal and he couldn’t deal with it anymore, I have changed and I have gotten the proper help I need and no longer feel this way, I love him so much and don’t know what to do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 18, 2020 at 4:28 pm

      Hi Emmaline, I am so glad you went to seek help with your feelings, if you are feeling strong in yourself and you have not spoken to your ex in over 45 days then you can start the texting phase. But again I would suggest that you are emotionally prepared for how at times he may not be open to talking to you if at all

  2. Joanne

    April 10, 2020 at 4:17 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me with the excuse “its him not me”. I ignored him couple of dahs and he kept sending me wanting to be friends. Then I talked to him letting everything out of heart and he kept apologizing about how he hurt me. I miss him so much and I still want him back but Im afraid when I call him he will still say that he doesnt want the relationship now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 18, 2020 at 12:49 pm

      Hi Joanne, you need to stick to a No Contact of 45 days as you have been emotional and use this time to work on your Holy Trinity and become Ungettable. While your ex feels like he does not want to be in a relationship allow him this time to be without you in his life. If you want to be with him then you can not be friends at the moment. And it is not fair for him to expect you to just instantly go to being friends when you just broke up that will take time.

  3. Priyanka

    March 22, 2020 at 4:47 am

    Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me saying his parents won’t approve our relationship. He didn’t even try to talk to his parents about our relationship. He didn’t try to convince his parents. What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 23, 2020 at 11:26 pm

      Hi P so if your ex is not willing to fight for your relationship and is willing to walk away then it shows his investment in the relationship. You need to work the Ungettable and show your ex what he is missing out on by not being in a relationship with you.

  4. Alexandria

    March 17, 2020 at 11:12 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me today actually and I’m not sure what to think or do, it was completely out of the blue. He told me it was because of our age difference (I’m 19 and he’s 26) and the fact that he wants kids in 4 years and a house in 5 but I still have school to finish. We have been together long enough that we have had many conversations about this and I have always been the one wanting kids in 4 years with him saying he would wait 10 years if it meant we were 100% ready and in the financial place to have children. I’m beyond confused because I just spent a month abroad and our relationship was great, no problems and now that I’ve been back I haven’t been able to see him and this is the phone call I get this morning. Last week we were talking about wedding colours and moving in together and what our future would look like. I’m not sure what the next steps should be for me as I’m not ready for this to end, this was never me looking through rose coloured glasses thinking something unrealistic would work but for some reason now he thinks it’s not going to go the distance. Please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 8:10 pm

      Hi Alex, I would say that you can go into a No Contact and give you both some space, hopefully this is just him getting scared now you are home and things can start taking shape. Work on yourself during your no contact to follow the holy trinity information and to become the ungettable girl

  5. Claire

    March 10, 2020 at 11:13 pm


    I am currently on day 14 of no contact and I was with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and we long talked about marriage and having children. He broke up with me around 2 months ago and started dating new girl within 2-3 weeks after we split. He claimed it was because we had a toxic relationship and that he loved me up until the moment I left (of which he asked me to, of which he refuses to admit). We have been talking on and off in these past few months all of which have ended badly. Do you think there is still potential for us?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 12, 2020 at 1:24 pm

      Hi Claire so your ex is in a rebound relationship and at this point they are going to be in the honey moon phase where no matter what you say to him he is not going to take on board what you are saying. If you want to give it your best chance follow the 45 day no contact rule and then start the being there method. You will need to read the articles that apply to your situation so that you can follow the process properly.

  6. Jan

    March 9, 2020 at 12:11 am

    Hi. My boyfriend of four years broke up with me after a month long of what he addresses as “cool off”. He told me through chat that he’d like to break up but would also like to talk in person (probably to be polite). It started with him having issues with himself lately and tells me he doesn’t want to drag me with him. I didn’t understand it but I gave him the time he needs. All of a sudden during my silence, he lashed out on me for spending time with his guy friend (but only at the university). I think this is very insensitive because he can’t even treat me like a girlfriend in public yet he wants me to sit like a dog he ordered to sit (please note that he only saw me and his guy friend walking in the hallway). He’s making me very confused because in front of his family, we’re okay and he even calls me with our endearment but in front of friends, he would act reserved. This is the second time he’s broken up with me. I’m really hurt but I really love him. I value his feelings and would like for him to find himself. He also told a lot of our mutual friends that I can never be replaced. Can this relationship still work? Thank you for responding!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 18, 2020 at 2:15 am

      Hi Jan, yes I think it can but you are going to have to follow the advice, starting with a No Contact working on yourself and working past the break up. Reach out at the end of your 30 days NC with a text that Chris suggests

  7. Juve Tajom

    February 17, 2020 at 5:10 am

    Hi I’m juve

    My boyfriend broke up with me after we had a argue and said don’t contact me again! 2 days now he block me everywhere! What should I do please
    It’s hurting me a lot he broke up me by msg not in person.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 17, 2020 at 10:21 am

      Hey Juve, so you have to spend some time in No Contact, even if you were not blocked you need to stay silent to let emotions calm and let your ex have the chance to miss you. Read the articles on this website about No Contact and make sure you are working on yourself in that time

  8. Rena Blakely

    February 5, 2020 at 7:21 pm

    I want him back but he has cut off all contact with like blocking me on his cell phone. He has told me not to contact him no matter what. We had a 16 year relationship it was complicated i wont lie. I just want to try and make things work between him and I. i know where we went wrong, we didn’t spend enough time together and the communication wasn’t always the greatest. Plus i think he grew away from me because we weren’t living together anymore since he said he was unhappy in the house that i had brought. How do i get him to open up to me when he wants no contact from me? i haven’t messaged him in 9 days so i have started the no contact rule.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 6, 2020 at 10:13 pm

      Hey Rina 16 years is a long time for a relationship so know that you wnating to speak to him and finding it hard to stick to a No Contact is hard. So make sure you distract yourself when you feel liek you’re going to break. Stick to a 45 day no contact and work on yourself in that time, as he is going to know you are goign to be upset you need to try and give the impression that you are doing great. Working on yourself and doing the work during no contact is going to improve your chances of him wanting to speak with you again eventually but dont expect it to be how it used to be, you are going to have to grow as people if you want to try and get him back

  9. Cassie

    January 21, 2020 at 2:03 pm

    My ex broke up with me completely out of the blue a week ago for the second time. The first time, we were arguing more frequently so it wasn’t quite a surprise, but this time there was no arguing prior to and we had just had a wonderful trip 2 days before. He also said for the first time since getting back together that he loved me 3 days prior. I also checked in no more than two weeks before to see if he was certain he wanted this or if he would rather be friends and he said I had nothing to be afraid of and that he wasn’t going anywhere. When we finally talked in person after the breakup, every issue he had was an easy fix if he had communicated the problems, but I had no idea he was feeling those things. Then he said he wants space, but he’s still sending the occasional Snapchat and such (I haven’t been responding to maintain my end of no contact). Last time, he came back after 2 weeks of no contact and said he wanted to be friends and work towards a relationship, which only lasted two weeks. Since the situation feels like deja by, what are the odds he comes back again? We both love each other and have been friends for 3 years, so I don’t want to lose him all together and would be fine with being friends, but I don’t understand why he would keep making plans (including on the day he broke up with me) for the future if he doesn’t see one?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 22, 2020 at 8:46 pm

      Hi Cassie, so I would say it is likely he will attempt to come back again, but you need to be stronger with your No Contact and now allow him back when he feels like it. Keep in mind each time you restart no contact it loses its effectiveness on your ex. Work on being Ungettable and your social life with friends, post to social media, but ignore his texts and calls for at LEAST 30 days. Hes making future plans… because he knows he has you if he wants you.

  10. ana

    January 19, 2020 at 12:58 am

    I have a question:
    I dated a man (45 yo, never married) for 2 years (I am 8, divorced, two kids). We are both highly educated and busy with work. He has high ambitions and calling for his high-profile job and works 90-100 hrs + a week. He said he is very serious about me, loves me and kids, but he said it takes time and did not want to propose. Sadly I was not very patient and started to argue, also asking him to take at least one weekend day off work a month. It did not happen and out of sudden his appointment hours increased and he had to spend even more time but it is possible for the job to decrease if he is successful in certain other areas of his career, on which he has to work very hard as it is not where it is supposed to be. I need to add that we do collaborate together also and I actually was instrumental in helping him. After all that happened, he broke up with me, saying he cannot keep me happy and I need someone better. After two months of thinking, I realized our connection was so strong, that I can tolerate his work and other things, and can get other support (cleaning lady, spend more time with friends, etc). I had a difficult marriage (physical violence) and he is extremely trustworthy and has wonderful character. Kids love him. I truly felt I can trust him and I cannot easily find it. He was open to meetings with me. He loves me, he says, and he actually gave me many hugs, kissed me on the head, and send gifts for me and kids. One night we even spent in an embrace, but he said we cannot take it any further because he is scared it is not fair to me as he cannot make any promises because of the difficulties at the job . I can feel his love but I also see that his job situation is extremely difficult and will be till any change comes, but I also see he is killing himself. He barely sleeps and often sleeps in hospital where he works, he sounds drained and looks unhealthy. Normal cannot person cannot sustain this… Is there a chance for us? What to do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 22, 2020 at 1:51 pm

      Hey Ana, it sounds as if your guy is super busy and knows that he can not give you the relationship you want, even if you are willing to accept that this is how a relationship with him would be, it will be a case of you following the program and being less available to him, showing that you are socialising with friends and living your life with the children. Complete a NO Contact and reach out to him, but you are going to have to show extreme patience in regards to how long it takes him to reply to you and you need to attempt to match his response time

  11. Kate

    January 7, 2020 at 9:09 am

    Hi me and my boyfriend were together for 2 years it was such a strong and intense connection that we had and we couldn’t ever see ourselves without each other. We were so in love and we had both never felt about another person this way. I definitely felt like we were soulmates, but the reason he broke it off with me is apparently I get too upset over the little things, like say him going out partying and not coming home to me when I would stay at his house or say him playing games when I would want to spend some time with him it was just small trivial issues I guess but we would always get over them. Apparently he thought we clashed too much but I thought most couples always had things they didn’t agree on Cleary it affects him and took me by surprise when he broke it off, I felt so heartbroken and we both cried in each other’s arms. He said he doesn’t want to do this but feels it’s for the best. We haven’t seen each other then since 7 days but I can’t stop messaging him, he sent me a bit goodbye message and saying he hopes to cross paths when we are both in better circumstances, I’m going through hard family issues and he wants to focus on himself. He said maybe it’s best trying in the future and mentioned something about maybe trying again in a years time he said he wouldn’t promise me we would get back together though I am completely heart broken and shattered I feel so alone and he was also my safety blanket to escape my family problems he was such a big help and now I’m in such a bad environment and reality has sunk in that we won’t be together anymore. He has some many distractions that I feel would make him
    Move on easily and I don’t really have any i don’t want to wait around for a year to see if we would get back together because that’s such a long time! I don’t want this at all and I’m worried he will find somebody else but he tells me he wouldn’t because he had his fun before me and just wants to focus on himself! What should I do? 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 14, 2020 at 4:50 pm

      Hi Kate, so you need to complete some time in No Contact, working on yourself – Look up Ungettable. Read as many articles that apply to your situation as you can and use that information to improve your life where you can. As for having issues with the family, if you can find a way to support yourself, going to friends for the break from your conflicts with them and focus on what is going to make you happy.

  12. Star

    January 6, 2020 at 9:33 pm

    We were in long distance relationship. He come to see me and we went out on New year. We were drinking alot and he started be jelaous because some guy start talking with me. Later we went to club and in some reason he wanted go home because he didnt believe me but i didnt do anything. I mean i didnt talk with any guy. He started be agressive and i asked bodygardd for help. He kick him out but he will always come back. After couple times he got beat up by them.
    After that he told me he is done with me plus his mum hate me now too. I really love him and i feel bad because i didnt go home when he wanted. He block me on social media so i dont know what to do now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 11, 2020 at 3:36 am

      Hey Star, I think it would be best to move on as you do not want to be with someone who is going to accuse you of doing things you hadn’t and also become aggressive with you! It is a couple of red flags that I suggest walk away and cut all ties!

  13. Miranda

    December 30, 2019 at 11:37 pm

    I had a boyfriend whom I dated for about 5 months and everything was very beautiful. We met at our residence. Everything was okay up until he founded out that he’s roommate also likes me which created a drift between them. Everything continued very well though we had lots of jealous people about our relationship..we couldn’t care less. Now we’re home.. a hundreds of miles away and he then started putting less effort. Last week he broke up with me because he says that he has no peace concerning the issue of he’s friend and that he feels like he betrayed him. He can sacrifice for me to date he’s friend though he loves me a lot. And now he’s not viewing my profiles or anything. I haven’t answered any of he’s break up texts and it’s been a week and days now. I don’t know what to think of say nor do.. what can I do? I love him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 4:45 am

      Hi Miranda, so first thing you DO NOT DATE THAT FRIEND. Don’t even speak with the friend if you want your boyfriend back. In the mean time you have to do a No contact where you ex can see you are not interested in that friend even when single and by the end of 30 days hopefully when you reach out they will be more open to speaking with you and see where you can progress

  14. Anne

    December 29, 2019 at 5:30 am

    My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago. We had a 2-year relationship. It was great, both sides were legal. My family loves him even until now. We started having long distance relationship since June 2019 because he’s a seafarer. He broke up with me because he wanted to focus on his family and he’s overloaded with work in the ship. He told me he doesn’t want to get back with me even until now. I tried reaching out to him but he seems cold and distant. I’m on my 9th day of using the NC rule. What should I do next? I really want him back but he doesn’t love me anymore… how to bring him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 29, 2019 at 11:28 pm

      Hi Anne, work on what we call the Ungettable Girl there are many articles here about it and also Chris will be releasing a book about how to become the Ungettable girl real soon so keep an eye out for that too

  15. Blair

    December 24, 2019 at 3:43 am

    My bf broke up with me couple days ago, the first time he sent me msg I gnoses it, today he sent a msg again, saying that he really hopes me doing well, he’s here if I want to talk.
    What does that mean? He wants to talk or he just feels guilty?
    Should I respond?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 29, 2019 at 7:07 pm

      Hi Blair if you are doing no contact this shows it is working well on him and that you are on his mind, keep ignoring him and do not answer let him feel the consequences of breaking up with you

  16. Dada

    December 11, 2019 at 1:07 am

    Can you please help me? I finally met the guy I really want to spend my life with and he was trying so hard in the begginning. We had something really special and beautiful. We had real chemistry and enjoyed each other. He was making plans for our future. I was investing in us too. And now, out of the blue, he says to me that he doesn’t see himself in a relationship with me and we broke off everything we had. He said that I can’t change his mind. I just don’t understand this now because everything was going great just a few days ago. I really want him back
    I asked him why is he doing this now cause everything is going great between us and I just can’t understand that decision now. He just kept repeating that he doesn’t see himself with me and that’s it. I haven’t contacted him since, it was 6 days ago. Can I get him back? 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 14, 2019 at 11:15 pm

      Hey Dada, so you need to stick to your no contact for 30 days minimum and in that time focus on getting over the break up and and from there you need to work on becoming Ungettable so that when your no contact is over you can show your ex they made a mistake leaving you

  17. Kaylee

    November 9, 2019 at 4:55 pm

    My boyfriend and me broke up after 2 1/2 years he said that he’s going through a bunch of stuff and he’s can’t be in a relationship right now and that he still wants to be friends. He also said that he dosent think he’s still in love with me. But I am and I want to marry him and have children with him and make dinner for him when he comes home for work. I don’t see myself with anyone but him and I’ll do anything or wait for however it Takes to get back. He’s my love and I love him so much. I just don’t know what to do. I will do anything to have him back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 9, 2019 at 8:26 pm

      Hi Kaylee you need to read the information here, starting with No Contact and go from there. It is going to take some time but if he has told you he can not do the relationship right now. Make sure you stick to NC so he sees you are not there begging for him to take you back. Just focus on you for some time so become Ungettable Girl status

  18. Kayla

    November 7, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me after having a very good and healthy relationship. We were very very close and everything was going just fine but then her started to lose feelings. He claims he lost all feelings within a week and he ended the relationship. He told me he didn’t know why he lost them and he never wanted that to happen. He told me that I had only been good to him. I was telling him I was still going to like him for a while and he told my friend he wanted to tell me off and tell me that there wasn’t another chance and he thought I though there was. People are telling me to play hard to get but he doesn’t want me. Any advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 8, 2019 at 5:55 pm

      Hi Kayla it needs to be No contact to start and read as much as you can through the webstie so you can get used to the process

  19. MoraMora

    October 21, 2019 at 12:17 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me because his parents didn’t approve me and blackmailed him. They said they were gonna destroy me and him if we keep going on, even physically (and his family is not religious).
    Between me and him everything was perfect. Nothing seemed to be crashed like that. And then they pressed him and screamed for a week to them, rising the degree of threats. And he was tired of fights and said he was doing it for me and he didn’t want to live at the battlefield. I feel horrible, because we both loved each other and cried as heck and he is in pain as I am. But his parents are terrible and try to control everything.
    There were no reason to hate me like that. I from a good family and with a good education and they were very polite and sweet to me first time. And them it just happened, so sudden. I wonder if it is possible to fix still or step over this blackmail and control.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 21, 2019 at 8:32 pm

      Hi Mora his family sound very toxic and clearly have an issue with you for some reason if you can identify that reason its half the battle if its something that cant change then you need to consider if its worth your time working to get him back if he hasnt got it in him to stand up for himself or you to his family then things may not change and he may let them control his future regardless of what you do.

      But start your no contact and work on yourself to heal from the break up and the pain you have been through

  20. Sarah

    October 11, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago and he broke my heart. His reasons were he’s not happy and excited about our relationship, he feels bad for not being able to be there for me, he has a lot of things to deal with and can’t be in a relationship right now, and he doesn’t see us going long term. I was in shock when he was breaking up with me so there was no begging and pleading. A week later I sent him a bunch of texts basically saying he gave up and let a bunch of things control out relationship. I may have also tried to make him feel guilty. He never responded to the texts and I haven’t heard from him since we broke up. I’m now 3 weeks into no contact. I got a new job, started going to church again, and work out more. I miss him so much and want nothing more to have him in my life again. He’s active on dating apps which worries me. I just want to know if my relationship is worth saving and if he’ll ever contact me again. Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 12, 2019 at 7:58 am

      Hi Sarah you’re doing the right things with your life now just stick with your NC and read some materials here that apply to your situation, also be open to dating casually too

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