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1,321 thoughts on “He Broke Up With You And Now You Want Him Back”

  1. Avatar

    Jan

    March 9, 2020 at 12:11 am

    Hi. My boyfriend of four years broke up with me after a month long of what he addresses as “cool off”. He told me through chat that he’d like to break up but would also like to talk in person (probably to be polite). It started with him having issues with himself lately and tells me he doesn’t want to drag me with him. I didn’t understand it but I gave him the time he needs. All of a sudden during my silence, he lashed out on me for spending time with his guy friend (but only at the university). I think this is very insensitive because he can’t even treat me like a girlfriend in public yet he wants me to sit like a dog he ordered to sit (please note that he only saw me and his guy friend walking in the hallway). He’s making me very confused because in front of his family, we’re okay and he even calls me with our endearment but in front of friends, he would act reserved. This is the second time he’s broken up with me. I’m really hurt but I really love him. I value his feelings and would like for him to find himself. He also told a lot of our mutual friends that I can never be replaced. Can this relationship still work? Thank you for responding!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 18, 2020 at 2:15 am

      Hi Jan, yes I think it can but you are going to have to follow the advice, starting with a No Contact working on yourself and working past the break up. Reach out at the end of your 30 days NC with a text that Chris suggests

  2. Avatar

    Juve Tajom

    February 17, 2020 at 5:10 am

    Hi I’m juve

    My boyfriend broke up with me after we had a argue and said don’t contact me again! 2 days now he block me everywhere! What should I do please
    It’s hurting me a lot he broke up me by msg not in person.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 17, 2020 at 10:21 am

      Hey Juve, so you have to spend some time in No Contact, even if you were not blocked you need to stay silent to let emotions calm and let your ex have the chance to miss you. Read the articles on this website about No Contact and make sure you are working on yourself in that time

  3. Avatar

    Rena Blakely

    February 5, 2020 at 7:21 pm

    I want him back but he has cut off all contact with like blocking me on his cell phone. He has told me not to contact him no matter what. We had a 16 year relationship it was complicated i wont lie. I just want to try and make things work between him and I. i know where we went wrong, we didn’t spend enough time together and the communication wasn’t always the greatest. Plus i think he grew away from me because we weren’t living together anymore since he said he was unhappy in the house that i had brought. How do i get him to open up to me when he wants no contact from me? i haven’t messaged him in 9 days so i have started the no contact rule.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 6, 2020 at 10:13 pm

      Hey Rina 16 years is a long time for a relationship so know that you wnating to speak to him and finding it hard to stick to a No Contact is hard. So make sure you distract yourself when you feel liek you’re going to break. Stick to a 45 day no contact and work on yourself in that time, as he is going to know you are goign to be upset you need to try and give the impression that you are doing great. Working on yourself and doing the work during no contact is going to improve your chances of him wanting to speak with you again eventually but dont expect it to be how it used to be, you are going to have to grow as people if you want to try and get him back

  4. Avatar

    Cassie

    January 21, 2020 at 2:03 pm

    My ex broke up with me completely out of the blue a week ago for the second time. The first time, we were arguing more frequently so it wasn’t quite a surprise, but this time there was no arguing prior to and we had just had a wonderful trip 2 days before. He also said for the first time since getting back together that he loved me 3 days prior. I also checked in no more than two weeks before to see if he was certain he wanted this or if he would rather be friends and he said I had nothing to be afraid of and that he wasn’t going anywhere. When we finally talked in person after the breakup, every issue he had was an easy fix if he had communicated the problems, but I had no idea he was feeling those things. Then he said he wants space, but he’s still sending the occasional Snapchat and such (I haven’t been responding to maintain my end of no contact). Last time, he came back after 2 weeks of no contact and said he wanted to be friends and work towards a relationship, which only lasted two weeks. Since the situation feels like deja by, what are the odds he comes back again? We both love each other and have been friends for 3 years, so I don’t want to lose him all together and would be fine with being friends, but I don’t understand why he would keep making plans (including on the day he broke up with me) for the future if he doesn’t see one?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 22, 2020 at 8:46 pm

      Hi Cassie, so I would say it is likely he will attempt to come back again, but you need to be stronger with your No Contact and now allow him back when he feels like it. Keep in mind each time you restart no contact it loses its effectiveness on your ex. Work on being Ungettable and your social life with friends, post to social media, but ignore his texts and calls for at LEAST 30 days. Hes making future plans… because he knows he has you if he wants you.

  5. Avatar

    ana

    January 19, 2020 at 12:58 am

    I have a question:
    I dated a man (45 yo, never married) for 2 years (I am 8, divorced, two kids). We are both highly educated and busy with work. He has high ambitions and calling for his high-profile job and works 90-100 hrs + a week. He said he is very serious about me, loves me and kids, but he said it takes time and did not want to propose. Sadly I was not very patient and started to argue, also asking him to take at least one weekend day off work a month. It did not happen and out of sudden his appointment hours increased and he had to spend even more time but it is possible for the job to decrease if he is successful in certain other areas of his career, on which he has to work very hard as it is not where it is supposed to be. I need to add that we do collaborate together also and I actually was instrumental in helping him. After all that happened, he broke up with me, saying he cannot keep me happy and I need someone better. After two months of thinking, I realized our connection was so strong, that I can tolerate his work and other things, and can get other support (cleaning lady, spend more time with friends, etc). I had a difficult marriage (physical violence) and he is extremely trustworthy and has wonderful character. Kids love him. I truly felt I can trust him and I cannot easily find it. He was open to meetings with me. He loves me, he says, and he actually gave me many hugs, kissed me on the head, and send gifts for me and kids. One night we even spent in an embrace, but he said we cannot take it any further because he is scared it is not fair to me as he cannot make any promises because of the difficulties at the job . I can feel his love but I also see that his job situation is extremely difficult and will be till any change comes, but I also see he is killing himself. He barely sleeps and often sleeps in hospital where he works, he sounds drained and looks unhealthy. Normal cannot person cannot sustain this… Is there a chance for us? What to do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 22, 2020 at 1:51 pm

      Hey Ana, it sounds as if your guy is super busy and knows that he can not give you the relationship you want, even if you are willing to accept that this is how a relationship with him would be, it will be a case of you following the program and being less available to him, showing that you are socialising with friends and living your life with the children. Complete a NO Contact and reach out to him, but you are going to have to show extreme patience in regards to how long it takes him to reply to you and you need to attempt to match his response time

  6. Avatar

    Kate

    January 7, 2020 at 9:09 am

    Hi me and my boyfriend were together for 2 years it was such a strong and intense connection that we had and we couldn’t ever see ourselves without each other. We were so in love and we had both never felt about another person this way. I definitely felt like we were soulmates, but the reason he broke it off with me is apparently I get too upset over the little things, like say him going out partying and not coming home to me when I would stay at his house or say him playing games when I would want to spend some time with him it was just small trivial issues I guess but we would always get over them. Apparently he thought we clashed too much but I thought most couples always had things they didn’t agree on Cleary it affects him and took me by surprise when he broke it off, I felt so heartbroken and we both cried in each other’s arms. He said he doesn’t want to do this but feels it’s for the best. We haven’t seen each other then since 7 days but I can’t stop messaging him, he sent me a bit goodbye message and saying he hopes to cross paths when we are both in better circumstances, I’m going through hard family issues and he wants to focus on himself. He said maybe it’s best trying in the future and mentioned something about maybe trying again in a years time he said he wouldn’t promise me we would get back together though I am completely heart broken and shattered I feel so alone and he was also my safety blanket to escape my family problems he was such a big help and now I’m in such a bad environment and reality has sunk in that we won’t be together anymore. He has some many distractions that I feel would make him
    Move on easily and I don’t really have any i don’t want to wait around for a year to see if we would get back together because that’s such a long time! I don’t want this at all and I’m worried he will find somebody else but he tells me he wouldn’t because he had his fun before me and just wants to focus on himself! What should I do? 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 14, 2020 at 4:50 pm

      Hi Kate, so you need to complete some time in No Contact, working on yourself – Look up Ungettable. Read as many articles that apply to your situation as you can and use that information to improve your life where you can. As for having issues with the family, if you can find a way to support yourself, going to friends for the break from your conflicts with them and focus on what is going to make you happy.

  7. Avatar

    Star

    January 6, 2020 at 9:33 pm

    Hey!
    We were in long distance relationship. He come to see me and we went out on New year. We were drinking alot and he started be jelaous because some guy start talking with me. Later we went to club and in some reason he wanted go home because he didnt believe me but i didnt do anything. I mean i didnt talk with any guy. He started be agressive and i asked bodygardd for help. He kick him out but he will always come back. After couple times he got beat up by them.
    After that he told me he is done with me plus his mum hate me now too. I really love him and i feel bad because i didnt go home when he wanted. He block me on social media so i dont know what to do now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 11, 2020 at 3:36 am

      Hey Star, I think it would be best to move on as you do not want to be with someone who is going to accuse you of doing things you hadn’t and also become aggressive with you! It is a couple of red flags that I suggest walk away and cut all ties!

  8. Avatar

    Miranda

    December 30, 2019 at 11:37 pm

    Hello.
    I had a boyfriend whom I dated for about 5 months and everything was very beautiful. We met at our residence. Everything was okay up until he founded out that he’s roommate also likes me which created a drift between them. Everything continued very well though we had lots of jealous people about our relationship..we couldn’t care less. Now we’re home.. a hundreds of miles away and he then started putting less effort. Last week he broke up with me because he says that he has no peace concerning the issue of he’s friend and that he feels like he betrayed him. He can sacrifice for me to date he’s friend though he loves me a lot. And now he’s not viewing my profiles or anything. I haven’t answered any of he’s break up texts and it’s been a week and days now. I don’t know what to think of say nor do.. what can I do? I love him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 4:45 am

      Hi Miranda, so first thing you DO NOT DATE THAT FRIEND. Don’t even speak with the friend if you want your boyfriend back. In the mean time you have to do a No contact where you ex can see you are not interested in that friend even when single and by the end of 30 days hopefully when you reach out they will be more open to speaking with you and see where you can progress

  9. Avatar

    Anne

    December 29, 2019 at 5:30 am

    My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago. We had a 2-year relationship. It was great, both sides were legal. My family loves him even until now. We started having long distance relationship since June 2019 because he’s a seafarer. He broke up with me because he wanted to focus on his family and he’s overloaded with work in the ship. He told me he doesn’t want to get back with me even until now. I tried reaching out to him but he seems cold and distant. I’m on my 9th day of using the NC rule. What should I do next? I really want him back but he doesn’t love me anymore… how to bring him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 29, 2019 at 11:28 pm

      Hi Anne, work on what we call the Ungettable Girl there are many articles here about it and also Chris will be releasing a book about how to become the Ungettable girl real soon so keep an eye out for that too

  10. Avatar

    Blair

    December 24, 2019 at 3:43 am

    My bf broke up with me couple days ago, the first time he sent me msg I gnoses it, today he sent a msg again, saying that he really hopes me doing well, he’s here if I want to talk.
    What does that mean? He wants to talk or he just feels guilty?
    Should I respond?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 29, 2019 at 7:07 pm

      Hi Blair if you are doing no contact this shows it is working well on him and that you are on his mind, keep ignoring him and do not answer let him feel the consequences of breaking up with you

  11. Avatar

    Dada

    December 11, 2019 at 1:07 am

    Can you please help me? I finally met the guy I really want to spend my life with and he was trying so hard in the begginning. We had something really special and beautiful. We had real chemistry and enjoyed each other. He was making plans for our future. I was investing in us too. And now, out of the blue, he says to me that he doesn’t see himself in a relationship with me and we broke off everything we had. He said that I can’t change his mind. I just don’t understand this now because everything was going great just a few days ago. I really want him back
    I asked him why is he doing this now cause everything is going great between us and I just can’t understand that decision now. He just kept repeating that he doesn’t see himself with me and that’s it. I haven’t contacted him since, it was 6 days ago. Can I get him back? 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 14, 2019 at 11:15 pm

      Hey Dada, so you need to stick to your no contact for 30 days minimum and in that time focus on getting over the break up and and from there you need to work on becoming Ungettable so that when your no contact is over you can show your ex they made a mistake leaving you

  12. Avatar

    Kaylee

    November 9, 2019 at 4:55 pm

    My boyfriend and me broke up after 2 1/2 years he said that he’s going through a bunch of stuff and he’s can’t be in a relationship right now and that he still wants to be friends. He also said that he dosent think he’s still in love with me. But I am and I want to marry him and have children with him and make dinner for him when he comes home for work. I don’t see myself with anyone but him and I’ll do anything or wait for however it Takes to get back. He’s my love and I love him so much. I just don’t know what to do. I will do anything to have him back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 9, 2019 at 8:26 pm

      Hi Kaylee you need to read the information here, starting with No Contact and go from there. It is going to take some time but if he has told you he can not do the relationship right now. Make sure you stick to NC so he sees you are not there begging for him to take you back. Just focus on you for some time so become Ungettable Girl status

  13. Avatar

    Kayla

    November 7, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me after having a very good and healthy relationship. We were very very close and everything was going just fine but then her started to lose feelings. He claims he lost all feelings within a week and he ended the relationship. He told me he didn’t know why he lost them and he never wanted that to happen. He told me that I had only been good to him. I was telling him I was still going to like him for a while and he told my friend he wanted to tell me off and tell me that there wasn’t another chance and he thought I though there was. People are telling me to play hard to get but he doesn’t want me. Any advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 8, 2019 at 5:55 pm

      Hi Kayla it needs to be No contact to start and read as much as you can through the webstie so you can get used to the process

  14. Avatar

    MoraMora

    October 21, 2019 at 12:17 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me because his parents didn’t approve me and blackmailed him. They said they were gonna destroy me and him if we keep going on, even physically (and his family is not religious).
    Between me and him everything was perfect. Nothing seemed to be crashed like that. And then they pressed him and screamed for a week to them, rising the degree of threats. And he was tired of fights and said he was doing it for me and he didn’t want to live at the battlefield. I feel horrible, because we both loved each other and cried as heck and he is in pain as I am. But his parents are terrible and try to control everything.
    There were no reason to hate me like that. I from a good family and with a good education and they were very polite and sweet to me first time. And them it just happened, so sudden. I wonder if it is possible to fix still or step over this blackmail and control.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 21, 2019 at 8:32 pm

      Hi Mora his family sound very toxic and clearly have an issue with you for some reason if you can identify that reason its half the battle if its something that cant change then you need to consider if its worth your time working to get him back if he hasnt got it in him to stand up for himself or you to his family then things may not change and he may let them control his future regardless of what you do.

      But start your no contact and work on yourself to heal from the break up and the pain you have been through

  15. Avatar

    Sarah

    October 11, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago and he broke my heart. His reasons were he’s not happy and excited about our relationship, he feels bad for not being able to be there for me, he has a lot of things to deal with and can’t be in a relationship right now, and he doesn’t see us going long term. I was in shock when he was breaking up with me so there was no begging and pleading. A week later I sent him a bunch of texts basically saying he gave up and let a bunch of things control out relationship. I may have also tried to make him feel guilty. He never responded to the texts and I haven’t heard from him since we broke up. I’m now 3 weeks into no contact. I got a new job, started going to church again, and work out more. I miss him so much and want nothing more to have him in my life again. He’s active on dating apps which worries me. I just want to know if my relationship is worth saving and if he’ll ever contact me again. Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 12, 2019 at 7:58 am

      Hi Sarah you’re doing the right things with your life now just stick with your NC and read some materials here that apply to your situation, also be open to dating casually too

  16. Avatar

    eva

    October 2, 2019 at 3:39 am

    hey so my boyfriend and i were dating for a year an a half. it was literally a perfect relationship and i was completely happy with him. he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first guy i talked to in that way, even my first actual crush. i was head over heels for him and so was he for me. he was the one that caught feelings for me and then i ended up falling in love with him too. in july (we were about a year and four months), he cheated on me. he was facetiming a girl (which i don’t have a problem with) and he got curious and asked to see her boobs. he jerked off to them and didn’t tell me anything for two months. in those two months he treated me like crap because he felt so guilty about doing it. i was a mess because it’s the one reason i would break up with him. i kept saying to myself “he’s sixteen it’s a mistake he won’t do it again” and i believed it. i forgave him and forgot about it the week later. we start school and everything was back to normal, all happy smiles. on the friday night, he wrote me a gorgeous love letter and the following wednesday, he told me that he doesn’t know if he’s in love with me anymore. it’s so hard to deal with because when it’s someone that you would die for, it burns. i forgave him for the cheating and he still left me. i thought he would go to the other girl but he still tells me he’s unhappy with everything. i haven’t even hung out with him for it to be me. i want to be his friend but it seems he doesn’t want to be mine. i got hurt a lot and saw a psychologist a few times too. should i be there for him and be his friend or just leave?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 2, 2019 at 5:47 pm

      Hi Eva, with the situation you’re at and him not feeling happy. Your decision is based on if you want him to be your boyfriend again, or if you just want him as a friend. IF you want him as a friend then yes try to be supportive while he works on being happy. If you want him as a boyfriend distance yourself until he sorts himself out

  17. Avatar

    Tracey

    September 23, 2019 at 12:51 pm

    Okay so my ex boyfriend who’s the father of my son left me when I was 6 months pregnant(2018 May) I was so devastated at the time,I couldn’t do anything rather than begging him I kept on asking him what wrong did I do or where did it go wrong.Only to find out that he was cheating and he always got mad when I confronted him about so I finally let him go.i gave birth to my son on my own in August last year.Then on September he started saying I should visit him if which I did because no one at home knew about the breakup only a few people knew.Around October he started giving me mixed emotions then I acted up then he got mad again telling me that he thought we were going to work things out “blah blah blah” I brushed him off.I cut off contact with him then we got back together in November then broke up again then December we were back together like everything was fine he tried to change.Then in March this year he started cheating again I caught him ref handed with a girl but he denied it saying that I’m seeing things it was not him.Then I kept quiet he started mistreating me acted like I don’t exist like he didn’t love me anymore I kept on asking whether we breaking up or not and he would say no but his actions said otherwise.I left.Around June he started acting up again and I was still mad that he mistreated and he never apologized even once!
    He always moves on.Hes been changing girls ever since I haven’t moved on for like 6 months now. Something tells me to give up and move but the other part of me just don’t wanna let go.Please help what should I do,it’s been cold,long hard 6 months.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 23, 2019 at 5:55 pm

      Hi Tracey, so I would suggest taking some serious time way from him 45 day NC is a must here first. And work on yourself. Get your self esteem back up. Know your worth. Read up on the Ungettable Girl and know it is possible to do even though we are mothers we are UGs’ 😉 Hes cheated multiple times and has treated you with no respect not even as the mother of his child. Take some time away from him. No sex, no relationship talk, no nothing. Let him think he has lost you. If he has access to your son then get it to be without you around.

  18. Avatar

    Pooja Patnaik

    September 9, 2019 at 8:20 pm

    We two had in relationship since 2018 and we both loved each other and then he wanted to meet with me but due to some problems I can’t meet him and for months he try to convince me to meet and we had fight for this topic several times but he waited 6months to saw me and when I agree to meet with him he convince me to have physical in our first meet by telling we will marry in future and he waited for me so long time so by getting physically connected it can grow our relationship more so we had doing it in our first meet then we had meet for second time and had promised each other to meet soon but after that we hadn’t seen each other as we do in past.He always says he is busy with his family work and by his college placements and also told me that he needs to focus on his study so that he will get job soon and after settled in job he will marry me but months had passed he didn’t come to see me as we had long distance relationship and when he comes to that place (where we both studied in our college) he just meet his friends but didn’t came to see me and we had not seen each other for one year and he now broke up with me by telling there is no future for us as we have different caste but I wonder that this problem which we know since starting our relationship at that time he told me this will not create any issue in future so how can he broke up with me by giving such an excuse? I regularly message him cl him but he didn’t respond and if he responds to any of my messages it feels like he hates me but sometimes I feel like he still loves me as he says I love you (rarely now) and told me that he will not marry anyone except me.i am totally sucked confused about what happened to him and now I feel like he used me and I feel guilty for having physical relationship with him who left me now being selfish and I can’t control myself feeling suicidal…! Can’t even imagine he had cheated on me..! I try to convince him for at least one time face to face meet so that we can solve issues and get our love back.. can I really get him back because he gets job now he is busy with work and rarly respond to my text..if someone can help me pls suggest me that how can I get my love back

  19. Avatar

    Carol

    July 22, 2019 at 3:09 am

    Hi, so last Sunday my boyfriend of basically a year and a half broke up with me. His reasoning was that he hasn’t been happy for about a month or two. He said he wants to focus on school and work and that I need to too. He plans to move two hours away for school in January but we had talked about it a lot and I know it could work even if we are both busy. We used to make plans for the future all the time and when he broke up with me he was saying how he knows it wouldn’t work if he moves. When we were talking, he said that he does love me more than anything and that on his way over he was crying talking to his parents – so I know it wasn’t easy for him. He also said that maybe in the future we would be together again so I feel like he might just want his space and time to do his own thing and hang out with his friends. I am currently giving him his space (as everything I have read has said to). But I am scared he is going to forget about me by the time my no contact period is up and won’t want to even talk to me if I try to. I’m also scared he doesn’t miss me at all. When we were talking I told him that he makes me happy though and that I miss him all the time when we aren’t together and he said that he can’t say the same thing for me but I know it just ties into how he said he wasn’t happy. I have been a wreck all week but I am trying to stay positive that maybe we could work on things again as I know what I need to work in within myself.

    I know that he probably won’t want to get back together or anything anytime soon but I still want him in my life as he is still my best friend and I want to be able to tell him what’s going on in my life and I want to know what’s going on in his. Am I pathetic for holding on to the hope that maybe we can work on things after no contact or should I just go ahead and give up? I am willing to try as much as he will let me to have him in my life. I just want him to miss me and want to try.

  20. Avatar

    Lavenshika

    June 28, 2019 at 5:32 pm

    Actually I want your help very badly as he left me just because of my mistakes even I knew this, actually let me tell you what happened, so yaa I had a kiss with my best friend just few months ago and I hided this from him, and approx 6 months ago I met my ex and had a kiss with him as well but this I told him and he said this is the first and the last mistake you did now don’t repeat this again but unfortunately I repeated even I’m accepting my mistake but now he not ready to listen and I just need him Bach anyhow I just love him so much

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