The no contact rule is one of those strategies used by all sorts of experts out there in the “ex back” niche. However, I will be the first person to admit that most of the people who recommend it are scammers looking to make a quick buck.
It’s sad but true.
My general rule of thumb is that if someone isn’t willing to get in front of a camera to teach then they aren’t worth your time.
Well, with that segue I would like to introduce you to Brad Browning,
Brad pretty much is the “go to” guy for YouTube advice (as you can see from the picture above) on getting your ex back and his advice WORKS!
He has also written one of the only books that I am willing to recommend on getting an ex back outside of my own,
Brad is one of the very few experts on the planet that I trust. He is also one of the very few experts who you should listen to (me being the other one of course 😉 .)
I had the pleasure of having him come on the site to talk about the no contact rule and his best selling book, The Ex Factor Guide.
Now, the amazing thing about Brad was how open he was to talking about things that most people would charge you for.
Check it out,
Video Of This Episode (Using The No Contact Rule)
What We Talk About In This Episode
- The No Contact Rule
- His Epic YouTube Channel
- The Ex Factor Guide
- Testimonials Brad Has Gotten Over The Years
- Experts Who Are Afraid To Put Their Faces Out There
- Spellcaster Scammers
Megan
November 5, 2016 at 9:19 am
I am on my last day of NC and haven’t heard from him yet. Should I be worried? And should I go ahead and send a first contact text tomorrow? (the day after 30 days) I’m just so worried that he won’t respond.
I feel like I have improved in myself over NC. I’m focusing more in my school work and getting my degree. I’m getting better grades, really pushing myself to do better. I’ve also been working out a little, and hanging out with my friends more often. I have also taken time during certain days of the week to pamper myself and build my confidence. And I have been posting on Facebook about fun things I’ve done and sharing funny videos, hoping he will take notice.
Megan
November 12, 2016 at 9:09 pm
I commented on another post before NC but no words of breaking up were said. Everything was perfect and then one day he just stopped talking to me out of nowhere with no warning. It’s been 2 months now. 1 month before NC and 1 month of the NC. So I don’t know why. I hope that helps.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 15, 2016 at 8:26 am
That means he ghosted you and he’s being consisted with it.. wait two weeks, if he still doesnt reply, that means you have to move on
Megan
November 9, 2016 at 8:15 am
So I read the post you suggested and also reviewed the texting portion of the Pro guide. I went ahead and sent a text that said “Oh my gosh! You’re not going to believe what just happened to me…” and well he never responded. I thought my text out a lot and I really thought it would work. I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to talk to me. What do I do now? I really need him back 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 12, 2016 at 2:42 pm
Hmm.. when and why did you break up?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 6, 2016 at 8:40 pm
Hi Megan,
Dont worry about it too much. You can initiate contact. Check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
Lucy G
October 29, 2016 at 1:02 am
Would it be too late to use NC after sooo many attempts of doing NC and just end up not completing it? It’s been 3 months since the break up, is it still possible that I can still get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 31, 2016 at 4:28 pm
the more you use nc, the less it can help you.. I cant say for sure that it wont help, but realistically, it’s a small chance that it will
Zara
October 23, 2016 at 8:33 pm
I’m in the no contact, on snapchat I’m I allowed to view his stories that he puts up? Does that count as contact? I want to keep it strict
Zara
October 26, 2016 at 5:31 pm
Ok thanks! I have been doing that and the more I post and don’t look at his stories the more he puts up! And he’s never been active on snapchat posting before, does it sound like it’s working?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 28, 2016 at 4:21 pm
Yeah, it is.. it looks like he’s watching your posts
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 25, 2016 at 1:26 pm
Hi Zara,
it’s better if you dont view his stories but continue being active in posting
Linda
October 23, 2016 at 7:20 pm
Hey !
I’m a former success story, I got back together with my long distance relationship boyfriend in January this year.
I used the no contact rule and followed every rule in the book and got him back.
However, we broke up again 1 1/2 months ago.
I was supposed to be working in his country this summer but I got another job so I didnt. We visited each other all the time and I spent two weeks with him in August.
(it’s a three hour flight in between)
He’s in a very stressful job and when we broke up it was mutual at first but then it was more him.
He’s working constantly, 24/7 almost and it was putting a lot of stress on our relationship.
After we broke up we remained in contact (which I know is not the best way at all).
Now our situation is a bit weird, we talk everyday, send snaps and he keeps hinting all kinds of things, sending me cute pictures and complimenting me.
Two weeks ago I hinted that I wanted to give us another chance but he did not agree.
Now I’m wondering, should I slip right into NC without saying a word or saying something that I’m gonna take some alone-time?
I did one mistake when we got back together (maybe it’s not a mistake though) but I told him about Chris Seiter and the NC rule so he is familiar with it.
Right now, I don’t really know if I want to get back together or not but I think I need the NC to figure that out.
I felt so good doing it last time but since things are on really good terms right now with us I feel like I should tell him that I’ll be taking some time for myself.
Ps. I have two years left of studying in my country but I am willing to move, I speak the language in the country he is in and it was always the plan that I would. I could also move there next summer.
When we broke up he said he wasnt really sure anymore.
But he’s always said that he still loves me and misses me every day.
Linda
October 25, 2016 at 9:15 pm
Hey Amber
Thank you so much for a quick and great answer! 🙂
But yeah, that’s basically what I told him when I “hinted”.
I said that I still wanted to be with him and talking to him everyday was hurting me.
I said that I needed to move on once and for all and I would appreciate if he would let me do that. I also said that I still thought we could work it out and all that stuff, without getting too emotional.
His response was something like; I still love you too and miss you everyday but i will let you be and you’re the strongest girl I know and I know you can get through this.
(Typical “good guy” answer…)
Since then it’s been a month and we have talked almost every day since then, I try to be cold in between and not answer him for hours, usually he double texts me.
I’m thinking I should try to do the reverse-thing again? So say something like this again, only this time mean it and go into NC for X amount of time. So he knows I’m being serious?
What you think?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 26, 2016 at 10:31 pm
Yup.. because keeping on talking to him, just puts you more on the friendzone now..
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 25, 2016 at 12:58 pm
Hi Linda,
you said you only hinted.. how did you know he didn’t agree? Did he say why he didn’t agree?
The thing is, he knows about the site, so he’ll probably think that’s what you’re doing once you just ignore him..I think you have to do a reverse psychology move..
like tell him about how you feel, how you tried and that you understand that he’s not ready yet, but it’s just hurting you if you go on in talking with him.. you decided you’ll move on and you hope that someday he’s open to being friends again when you’re ready….
Krystal
October 20, 2016 at 9:44 pm
I tried the no contact rule, and in less than a week I was contacted. He said hello, and asked how I did at my job interview… stuff like that. Unfortunately I went into an emotional rant about him and everything… so at this point I know it was a mistake, but do I restart the no contact rule?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 21, 2016 at 9:33 pm
Hi Krystal,
yes, you have to restart it
Camille
October 18, 2016 at 6:13 am
To follow up on my previous comment, I am making the choice in starting the no contact rule tomorrow. It’s obvious that he has feelings for me and doesn’t want to “let go” and wants to keep me around. Every time we talk, he calls me dude, keeps making dirty jokes, etc and asks if I’m dating and what not. I still have a chance right if I follow every step? I bought and read the whole book at Chris wrote. He just needs to “miss” me even though he says he misses me now, etc. He needs to see as not the girl who can’t live without him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 19, 2016 at 3:34 am
Hi Camille,
there’s no guarantee that the nc will work but yes, it can increase your chances.. and yes, he has to see you can live without him, like being an ungettable girl…
Tak
October 15, 2016 at 2:09 am
I have a question.
My ex said he wanted to be friends (i agreed to it because I didn’t want him to cut contact/I begged, but he hasn’t really treated me like a friend). He has only maintained limited contact since we officially broke up (he dumped me) 3 weeks ago. The 3 week timeline went like this: I had been in no contact for 1 week and then he texted me “hey”. When I replied and he didn’t say anything. I went no contact again for 1 more week but broke it when I wished him a happy birthday via text and phone call but then couldn’t stop myself from texting him another text making sure he was ok (he saw me at a party and I think he may have been at little jealous/sad that I was dancing with other guys/male friends, so I wanted to check up on him, asking to talk and if he was ok, which I did via text). I have been in no contact once again for 1 week, but he hasn’t contacted me? When I see him in person I smile and wave because I don’t want him to see that i’m still hurting, he waves, but I think he avoids me when he can. Will no contact work in this case, or will we remain friends? is 21 days no contact good, since we didn’t have a bad breakup?
Tak
October 15, 2016 at 4:53 pm
Hi,
We were together 6 months, 2 months physically and 4 months long distance. I’m 21 he is 22. We broke up because he said he he didn’t understand me and why I did things. I admit I’m a very emotionally driven person, he is the more logical type, you should do x so you can get y. He also mentioned he would like to have deep discussion with me, but I fear I might not be intelligent enough (there is also the issue of my self esteem, so I tend to shy away in voicing my opinions along with the fact that I’m very agreeable by nature.) Otherwise he said the relationship was fine. I’m scared of doing 30 days because of the video I saw recently https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UxX79Q8ayM According to brad I only have that 2-3 month window, and I already wasted a month with minimal contact.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 16, 2016 at 6:39 pm
Hi Tak,
Ok, well, you only have three choices: move on, chase him, or do nc and focus in improving yourself..
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 15, 2016 at 4:24 am
Hi Tak,
dont wave when you see him.. smile if you really bump into each other but avoid him if you can.. how long were you together? why did you break up? How old are you both? I think you should do 30 days and be very active in improving yourself
Sarah
October 13, 2016 at 4:32 pm
Hi!
I don’t know if you take requests but I was wondering if you could feature a podcast or an article about what to look for while building rapport with an ex. I’ve noticed that a lot of “get your ex back” sites put a lot of focus on writing about the no contact rule and about the first contact with an ex. From what I’m currently experiencing I feel like this is a very gray area so I’m not really sure what I should be expecting or anticipating while talking to an ex on a daily bases. Everything has been very positive and he initiates about 50% of the time and has been using a lot of our inside jokes/bringing up old memories but neither of us have talked about the break up or the possibility of getting back together so it’s hard to gauge what he is thinking. We have had one phone call so I know the next step is to increase them, and eventually move toward a mini date. He didn’t text me at all during NC so I definitely have had to initiate everything so far, and luckily he has responded positively.
Thank you!!
Sarah
November 7, 2016 at 2:05 am
Yes we have had sex but only because it felt like we were back together. It didn’t happen the first night we saw eachother. After our awkward “what are we” talk the next day went back to being normal but we haven’t discussed anything further. He is coming home tomorrow for a couple of weeks before he officially moves out of state for a new job. How do I initiate the conversation again if at all? I think it’s fair to want to know where this is going especially when he is about to move away again. His sister said she asked him if we are back together a couple of weeks ago and he said we are “really good friends” and when she asked if he was just leading me on or if he wants to be with me he said he does want to be with me. Basically it just seems like he doesn’t want to make any promises or commit even though he is acting the role of boyfriend.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 7, 2016 at 6:48 pm
at this point yeah, I think you should ask. So, you would know if you should move on when he moves out
Sarah
November 3, 2016 at 3:30 am
SOS!
So my ex has stayed over every night for the past 2 weeks. We didn’t talk about the break up or about what we are but everything felt very much like we were back together. He had an interview today out of state and he has been talking the past few days about future plans for me to fly and visit him (we did long distance for a few months before). So that prompted me to ask him what we are since we haven’t talked about it. He said “idk what we are but that’s not a conversation we should have over text” so I let it go until we facetimed tonight. I asked him if “are we together or are we not? Are we exclusive or are we seeing other people?” And his response was “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life so I don’t know what we are. The last time we did long distance you were sad and lonely most of the time so I don’t know” and so I questioned why were we “hooking up” then if we weren’t even together and he was offended that I even said that and that I implied that he was leading me on bc he said he “didn’t plan on this happening it just did.” The conversation ended with him hanging up on me and then texting me “I hope you’re happy now.”
So what should I do? Do I go back into no contact? Honestly everything felt like we were back together and he was making plans for me to visit him in December and January which idk why he would do that if we weren’t together.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 5, 2016 at 12:26 am
when you said hooking up, you didnt mean you already had sex right.. yeah, just laylow for now..and actually he is right, relationship status talks are better than in person..but I think yeah, a video call can suffice..although yours didnt end well.. next time, I think it’s better to agree that you should just go with the flow for now but dont be friends with benefits
Sarah
October 21, 2016 at 12:47 am
A lot has happened since the last time I commented. But I’m 97% sure I’m already back together with my ex! Long story short he was having a bad day on Sunday and I said that he could call me to talk but he said that he will just come over and he’ll tell me all about it. Well he ended up staying the night that night and literally hasn’t left since. He comes and has lunch with me at work every day and I came home yesterday to discover that he hung all of his clothes back in his “spot” in the closet. We haven’t had a formal conversation about the break up or about what we are. Is it safe to say that we are back together? Should I straight up ask? When we first started dating it was similar to this — I didn’t really know what we were until one day he used the word girlfriend. I just don’t want to move too fast or freak him out if I ask if we are officially back together but also I deserve to know
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 22, 2016 at 5:14 pm
dont ask yet.. just let him do his thing.. let’s see if it progresses
Sarah
October 14, 2016 at 3:36 am
Just a couple of things:
1. Tonight I used one of our “inside phrases” (nothing sexual or super suggestive of a relationship, it’s just a goofy word we used to say all the time) and he said that it is a “banned word” when I asked him why he said that it’s the “most sensitive word between us” — everything else has been okay though. Is this triggering some sort of guilt/weird emotions in him to make him say it is a “sensitive word?”
2. He asked me about something that happened at work so I asked if I could FaceTime him later to tell him all about it (we used to always FT but never call) — he said it was “too soon to FaceTime” but I could call him
3. We talked on the phone for a while about a bunch of random things and everything was good! at the end he said “maybe when I get home (he’s on vaca) I can come over and we can order Chinese and watch a movie or something”
There is definitely a barrier that I’ve discovered today with the “sensitive word” and “too soon to ft” comments — is this because he’s struggling with feelings or bc he is thinking we are more in the friend zone?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 14, 2016 at 4:13 pm
I think he thinks you’re moving too fast.. He thinks that word and facetiming is too intimate, and maybe he doesn’t want to lead you on.. More likely it just means you need to build more rapport and attraction before you do that.
Sarah
October 13, 2016 at 9:00 pm
After 27 days of NC I texted him so we’ve been texting every day for a solid 3 weeks now…I’ve implemented all of the different types of texts (first contact, good memory, like a girlfriend, jealousy, ect) so far so good
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 13, 2016 at 9:11 pm
Oh, then you should really move on to calls
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 13, 2016 at 8:30 pm
Thanks for the suggestion Sarah.. I will forward that to Chris! How long have you been texting? That’s a very good sign..I think you would be able to move on to calling phase easily.
Agnes
October 13, 2016 at 12:14 pm
Well, I’m writing you cause I’m in the worst situation ever, regarding getting my ex back. We were together for 3 years, and living together for 9 months. He blindsided me and broke up with me, I had to move out of the house (it was his house).
I begged him a lot on the past few months (we broke up in July) so now I’m in the beggar position. I’m currently applying the no contact rule (been reading some of your posts). Problem is, my birthday is coming and he is already invited,so I’ll see him before the 30 days are over. Should I apply the no contact rule after the party? Is there any chance for me to win him back after begging so much?
Camille
October 18, 2016 at 3:40 am
Hi! My ex and I broke up maybe a month ago, recently we’ve been hanging out a lot and he wants to just be friends but to me, it’s obvious he still wants to be with me but maybe he’s angry that I cheated. When we broke up, it was mutual but a week later I admitted to him I cheated. We hung out this weekend and it was amazing, I decided to do the no contact rule and he texted me good morning and I didnt reply but I couldnt handle it and I broke the rule. I only lasted 2 days. Is it too late for me to start it again? What are my chances? Should I give up? Because honestly I think I have a chance but I don’t want to make myself believe something that isn’t true.
Agnes
October 13, 2016 at 10:32 pm
Yes, he said he would attend, if he doesn’t, it won’t be a problem since I’ll apply the rule in a better way. But my real question is… I ended up sort of like his friend with benefits (we were together some times during this month and had sex, got to sleep in his house and whatever): he clearly stated that he wants only that with me. Will ignoring him make any difference now that “everything is alright” between us (as friends) and we have broke up three months ago? Should I write to him explaining that I cannot be his friend or something like that? Thanks a lot
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 14, 2016 at 2:10 pm
nope.. ignoring him will not be the greatest facot but your improvements will be.. there’s a higher chance that if you’ve improved, he will be attracted and want you..but dont ever be friends with benefits again..
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 13, 2016 at 6:52 pm
Hi Agnes,
hmmm… he said he will surely attend? if he comes, just be casual and polite..dont initiate any feelings nor relationship
Beachrose
October 12, 2016 at 6:38 pm
Hey I have a suggestion/ question – as the 1st contact text…
I’d rather send a cute, fun, significant photo, like something related to a fun inside joke or something like that the two of you had with each other. Nothing sexual or even flirtatious – just cute, funny – and that had a positive history/ evokes positive, fun memories – something positive, but with NO pressure around it.
Brad Browning
October 13, 2016 at 12:03 am
I agree, Beachrose — great idea. 🙂
Chris Seiter
October 12, 2016 at 9:47 pm
Love it! Great idea!
Beachrose
October 12, 2016 at 6:45 pm
PS – I’m on day 15 of NC. He finally stopped trying to text me a couple of days ago, after first trying pretty lame/limp texts, then appealing to pity, then finally offering something pretty small/lame. (He’s selfish/a taker.)
Oh and YES – I’m doing tons of stuff for ME – have been for quite some time. This past week, I volunteered to help fund raise for a (non-profit) group of people I wanted to connect with, and I helped them raise over $10K in one week online – cash! Other for-myself stuff includes: staying in shape, fab skincare, and next up: upgraded wardrobe and FB pics 😉 (Did I mention: always make friends with photographers!)
I’m not so sure my ex even worth taking back, but I’m doing this as an exercise, in any case!
Living well is the best revenge 😉