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310 thoughts on “Get Your Boyfriend Back After A Fight”

  1. kpcj

    October 18, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Hi chris just love this site.Well anyway me n my son father have been together 4 yrs n have been going through hell n back lately.we had a big fight bc I spoke to one of friends on fb.The fact of the thing is i gave him my password to look at my stuff bc I had nothing to hide.then all of a sudden he tells me he needs time to his self which just left me all upset.Want to try the nc rule bc it hurts to talk to someone i love but dont KNOW how to when our son is involved.how do i do that n do u think we will get back together.

    1. admin

      October 18, 2013 at 7:08 pm

      This post might actually be helpful to answer some of your questions: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/get-your-boyfriend-back-if-you-have-a-child-together/

  2. melashnie

    September 28, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    Hi Chris
    I an in desperate need of some advice please. My bf and I have been dating for 2 and a half years. With the last year and a half being long distance. We had such a perfect relationship. We handled fights well. We talk every day through instant msging. We also gave each other time to do other things like hanging with friends etc. A few weeks ago he moved to a new house and he also had lots of tests that week (we both are at varsity). So we hardly spoke due to moving and tests and then his aunt came from uncle so he was spending time with him. So we went through over a week without having a proper convo. I wanted more. He didn’t see that he wasn’t giving me time coz he said he spoke when he can. Then from that time onwards, he started putting less effort. And I started nagging coz things are changing. Then it kept going on and on like this for 3 weeks. And then, he suddenly exploded when I got upset and it was the first time he told me he was feeling pushed away. And we had a huge fight. We both said hurtful stuff. Broke it off last night. And now the whole day he didn’t contact me. So I phoned him. Then he started calling me baby and saying it was just a fight. What do I do? Is it possible to bounce back from everything if he feels he can’t tell me things anymore? Thanks.

    1. admin

      September 29, 2013 at 11:49 pm

      It is very possible. You might want to check out my long distance post. You might get more out of that.

  3. Carmen

    September 15, 2013 at 7:07 pm

    Hi Chris. Thanks for putting this site together. It’s obvious you’ve put a lot of work into it. Here’s my situation – hoping you can tell me if you think it’s hopeless and what I should do from here. My ex boyfriend and I were together for 4 years, lived together for three. We each have a kid, and they bonded and got along well. My ex and I were madly in love for most of our time together. We were very compatible, had great chemistry and energy between us, spent every day together, had the same tastes, same values, made each other laugh, had a great sex life and were best friends. We rarely fought. We endured a lot if stressful situations that wore us down an brought out the worst in us. He became distraught and distant the last few months of our relationship. Which made me insecure. But still, just before he dumped me, we were making plans for the future. It was always our dream to grow old together and retire in Hawaii. But then we had a huge fight. It escalated until he blew up and said we were done and I had to move out. It was a huge shock to me, to my friends
    and family. I wanted no other man, and believed he was the one, my soul mate. He had been so loving and sweet to me… and now he was filled with rage at me. SO hard to understand or deal with. He couldn’t deal with my drama, my insecurity, my threats to leave (which I never meant but he took it seriously). I spent the first weeks hanging around hoping he would come to his senses, but it seemed only to annoy him. He avoided and ignored me and my kid. Then one night, a few weeks after he dumped me, I found him in our bed with another woman he claimed to meet online a couple days prior. He was so cruel and cold blooded towards me. It’s been the worst time of my life. (We had also been remodeling a house that was going to be our house for the next 15 years…). I moved out the next day, and it was a scene. An ugly scene that only made my ex angrier. He insisted we’d never get together again. He was cruel and spiteful. My kid and I lived in a hotel until we could find an apartment. Since our break up, which was 4 months ago, we have stayed in contact but he hardly ever initiates contact. I tried NC but I can’t do it!! I’m still a wreck… Lost a ton of weight, can’t eat can’t sleep, am in therapy… Anyway he and I went on a date a couple weeks after I moved out. I slept over of course. In fact we’ve had sex about 5 times since breaking up. Each time though, he says he doesn’t want to give me false hope of reconciliation. I tried the ‘friends’ approach but it wa too painful, since he is dating now and it hurts to be with him without being ‘with’ him. The thought of him with another woman makes me nuts!! :(. We are in our 40s btw. He seems to be adamant about pushing me away, but then he almost always responds to my texts and agrees to see me. I know he loved me completely when we were together. Even after dumping me he said we’d never find another partner who is as compatible as we were. He also says we screwed up a good thing. I think he is afraid to get back with me only to break up again or be hurt. He also is very angry at my family (who went nuts on him after I found him with that woman). And he’s pissed at me because I went on a Facebook rampage after that incident and aired all our dirty laundry. I’m not sure he can go back… but I have been trying to work on my emotions and relationship skills. I have come up with a way we can start a new relationship slowly. I sent him a love letter type email a week or so ago. He didn’t reply, but later when I asked him, he said it was all true, that it hurts to think about how great thing were. I don’t know what to do. I worry that he is just using me or stringing me along, although it is always me contacting him. I think if I backed off he would never contact me. He is very stubborn and determined and persistent. I doubt he would abandon his mission to get over me and move on… Please help!!’

    1. admin

      September 16, 2013 at 5:07 am

      Airing the dirty laundry wasn’t the best for your situation obviously.

      I do think you need to back off though. You don’t want to be put in the bad territory for seeming “crazy.” You will talk to him eventually don’t worry.

  4. Jasmin

    September 12, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    Hi my name is jasmin my boyfriend has not been giving me any time and has been acting strange so last Saturday I looked through his phone so now he is mad and feels low bc looked around..I trust him but it’s how he was acting we just moved in together two months ago and lived with his mom for a year and been dating for 3 years..I have been crying trying to talk to him and he want talk to me plz help me I don’t want to lose the man of my dreams

    1. admin

      September 13, 2013 at 3:58 am

      So are you two broken up now? Kind of confused sorry.

    2. Jasmin

      September 13, 2013 at 1:59 pm

      No we are not broken up…he want talk to me bc I have asked if we were still together but he never said anything..

    3. admin

      September 13, 2013 at 6:26 pm

      Well, I would say work this out first before you try anything on this site. Figure out where you and him stand.

  5. Isabella

    September 7, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    My ex and I were really good friends for about three or four months before we started dating. A week before he left on a trip that would put him halfway across the world, he started a relationship with me. When he got there he wasn’t treating me very well, and it always felt like he wanted to end our Skype calls quickly. I called him out on it. We fought over it. One of the girls on the trip with him took his phone, read through our fight, and replied to it. He defended her at the time. He ended the Skype call where I confronted him about it promising to call me back, and never did. I flipped out in messages. I wanted to fix things, though, because I knew him before the relationship and I knew that wasn’t how he acted, EVER.

    He got home in late July, and called me and dumped me over the phone. He did say he wanted to stay friends, though. I gave him space, as he requested, and demanded answers to some of my questions I had about our relationship. I got them over a Skype call, and I discovered he was as hurt and confused by our relationship as I had been. I essentially told him any friendship was in his hands, and I told him he had to show me if he wanted me in his life.

    Well, the last time we had a conversation was over three weeks ago, and it was over a stupid book. I sat, texting him and crying. I can’t be ‘just friends’ with him. I texted him something dumb and trivial about cats or something on the 19th of august, and didn’t get a reply. I decided to not try anymore, and accidentally implemented the no contact rule. We’re not facebook friends anymore(I did this on my own) or skype contacts. I’m not talking to him right now.

    I’m hearing from his friends that he wants to stay friends, and has complained about me “moving on”(HA), and has also had a rebound hookup that went wrong. However, I’m also hearing them say that he’ll never date me again(the last time I heard this was a week ago).

    I have a theory that he’s scared to pursue a relationship with me. We both got hurt,and as friends had never fought like that. I feel like he believes that I act like a different person when we stick a label on our feelings for each other and act upon them.

    I really want him back in my life and for me to be back in his arms. I miss him like hell. We made each other better. We could tell when the other one wasn’t okay based on texting patterns(also, he broke his phone this summer, from what i’ve heard). We could make each other laugh with bad puns and jokes no one else found funny. I don’t want a few weeks of miscommunication and 13 hour time differences and fighting to ruin months of friendship and a blooming relationship.

    I haven’t seen him since before he left on this trip he was on. I don’t know when I’ll see him next, but it’s not within the next two weeks. That’s all I know. I will have to see him, though, as we do volunteer work on the same crew. Please, help. It’s been over a month since he dumped me, two since I’ve seen him, and the absence has only made my heart grow fonder.

    1. admin

      September 7, 2013 at 11:59 pm

      Yea, what you hear from friends you can’t always rely on. There are things I tell my friends about how I am feeling that aren’t really true. You don’t want to seem weak by telling your friends that you would date your ex again.

    2. Isabella

      September 8, 2013 at 12:07 am

      Yeah, I’ve stopped talking to our mutual friends about him.

      What do I do the next time I see him?

    3. admin

      September 8, 2013 at 4:24 pm

      Do you mean if you see him in person again?

      Act confident, have no fear, be really happy and calm. Just be the best version of yourself.

    4. Isabella

      September 8, 2013 at 11:34 pm

      Thank you!

  6. vanessa

    July 18, 2013 at 5:02 am

    haha. a lot of people find it funny, at this point im just terrified. i havent had any contact with him in about 4 weeks.. almost 5.well thats a lie. i txted him on satuday, about a hot air ballon ride we have had schedule for about a year now, and when we spoke about it last he said he was going to give me the tickets back.. then i showed up at his house and he mentioned it but didnt really say much about it, i was trying to keep it very giggly and light, but the next day he had the chance to give them back and didnt. anyways i txted him asking him to please change everything ot my name unless he was planning on going with me, and instead he just said id be more than happy to do that for you.. about half an hour later, he txted me saying “whose the man! i changed it for october, that wya youll have some room to adjust any dates, have a blessed day” i responded thanks you too and that was it. his tone was very nonchalant, specially bc hes not the kind to be saying have a blessed day. SO as happy as i am to hear that you think that he is interested, he hasnt made any attempt to contact me at all. 🙁 isnt that a sign? or doesnt really matter? so no. im not really txting him at all, that was it.. hes going on a family vacation next sunday for a week and will have no phone access… obviously, i think hes resistant on hanging out and having contact bc if he do he knows well get back together. he even told me that when i saw him and was trying to get some questions answered.. he also mentioned that he realized he had an amazing woman and a great future but also felt like he was 24 and wanted and needed to focus on himself and meet people.. what do you think is my best next step?

    1. admin

      July 19, 2013 at 1:43 am

      Well, I think you should stay in NC for a little bit longer.

    2. van

      July 19, 2013 at 2:02 am

      how much longer do you suggest?

    3. admin

      July 19, 2013 at 2:13 am

      Try another month

    4. van

      July 22, 2013 at 10:39 pm

      help! he txted me this morning, asking me to put all our pictures on a usb because last night he wanted to look at them and didnt find any.. how do i handle this? am i nice and just say ok? or do i ask why it is relevant?

    5. admin

      July 23, 2013 at 3:16 am

      If you are in NC don’t reply to him. Otherwise, I think it is ok to give em to him.

    6. van

      July 19, 2013 at 2:25 am

      ughhh!! i guess it cant hurt? I just dont like thinking of the possibility of him loosing feelings because of the time that has gone by..

  7. vanessa

    July 17, 2013 at 4:06 am

    Hi chris,

    can i just say your site is amazing!!

    ok. so i was with my boyfriend for 3 years, it was a serious relationship, we knew the next step was basically getting engaged. we didnt live together but we live a mile from each other and we were together every weekend and saw each other every day. we were happy, didnt really have fights or argued, always tried new things. our only issue seemed to be that i always wanted to be with him and basically coddled him, which made me seem very dependent of him. one day we had a bit of a discussion about space, and him wanting to have time to himself and see friends. ultimately i gave in and he went out with his friend. that night i had this terrible feeling, and i went a bit crazy and followed my instinct. well i found him leaving a strip club with his friend at mid night. we had had an issue about it previously involving the same friend. i felt so disrespected, and betrayed that i over reacted and slapped him, right away he told me it was over and that was it. keep in mind he was a bit intoxicated. it has been about 3 and a half months since our break up. we had a no contact period which made me appreciate him more and clear my thoughts and mind, and im sure it did the same for him. i have seen him about 3 times in the past month and a half. the first time i was trying to get some closure, answers to help me more forward with my life, it turned into going to get dinner, singing, and playing pool i spent the night at his place, hung out, had a great time. he told me he was still in love with me bla bla bla but two days later he tells me he has no intentions of getting back together with me. that next weekend i saw him, more like showed up at his house at 6 am.. i know not good. but it could have been worse, he was very nice i figured he would just let me sleep and kick me out as soon as i woke up. that did not happen, he actually invited me to go the gym with him, and we flirted, and joked, very relaxed environment which amazing because i wanted to show him that we can still have fun together. it has been a month since this last meeting and i know nothing about him. he has not contacted me or vise versa. honestly, i have begun to lose some hope, i feel as if someone misses you and wants to be with you they will come to you, yet again, even though he messed up so did i, big time, i realize that there are going to be many issues we will have to work through but i believe it is worth it. i read your blog and it gave me hope to try one more time. what are your thoughts? is it too late?


    1. admin

      July 17, 2013 at 6:58 am

      You slapped him hahahahaha (I am sorry I have a horrible sense of humor)

      Well, first off I can tell that you have worked hard to be independent. Your NC period is up and youve met him three total times. I would say that he is definitely interested. I always say if you can get three one on one dates you are on the right track and you have done that (though don’t show up at his door again that’s bad form.)

      Are you texting him at all?

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