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581 thoughts on “Decoding The Mixed Signals From Your Ex Boyfriend”

  1. Avatar

    Casey

    October 26, 2017 at 5:00 pm

    I have a situation that sort of falls into this post, but not really. My now ex-boyfriend and I moved in together after about a year of dating, lived together for about another year–he pushed me away and disrespected our relationship by venting to other girls, started drinking too much etc etc, and he did not opt to work on things but also said he didn’t want me to go. So clearly I took this as he does not want me–I left him and moved an hour away. We are separated no contact for 4 months, both tried seeing other people, when he popped in at my work. He said I was the one and he loved me so after a couple weeks, even though I told him I wanted to go slow, next thing I know he is calling me his girlfriend and its back on. About 6 months later (now) and he is about to graduate (hes 24, im 25) and I am moving my career back to our hometown, where we met. Long story short, he said he loves me but he could not be sure where he saw me in his future. He basically asked me to wait indefinitely for him to be ready to put me into his future plans, but that he doesn’t want to see anyone else. I am not that girl that is going to wait for him after everything we went through to decide whether or not he wants me, so I broke up with him yesterday morning. He texted me last night that he loves me, then calls me this AM at the usual time like nothing every happened. He didn’t mention the break up at all. He goes on about his midterm, my job interviews, the cat, etc etc, for about 5 minutes then its done. What the hell does this mean and what does he want from me?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 29, 2017 at 11:22 am

      HI Casey,

      he’s trying to act normal, maybe friendzoning you because he’s still used to talking to you..

  2. Avatar

    P

    August 14, 2017 at 7:57 pm

    My ex and I dated for 3 years. We broke up for the second time on July 3rd, the first time was back in march of this year then we got back together mid April and things were great! At least I thought.. He had started to get depressed and I tried being there for him but he just pushed me away. He got into another relationship a week after the brake up. I asked him if he started liking her while we were together he said no. I asked “So you’re telling me you’re over me and don’t ever want to be with me again?” He said “not at this moment. its gonna take me a long long time to figure myself out”. In a long text message I said “if you’re done with me you need to tell me so I can try to move on” he said “Im not making any decisions rn besides that I’m leaving. gotta go. then figure out who I am. then get to work on my future again and then I can think about other things. in running in place. cant take it.” He won’t give me a straight answer about us, what does this mean? Also he is not moving anymore because he was offered a great opportunity in the town we live in.

    1. Avatar

      P

      September 8, 2017 at 6:51 pm

      Thank you

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 13, 2017 at 12:13 pm

      You’re welcome!

    3. Avatar

      P

      September 5, 2017 at 12:32 pm

      Thanks again. I asked him if we were trying to be friends and he said “yea but I just want to be civil.” What should I do now?

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 7, 2017 at 8:50 pm

      just continue building rapport, but don’t always be available.

    5. Avatar

      P

      September 1, 2017 at 6:02 pm

      Almost a month ago he said he’ll “always love me but the spark is gone. If we are meant to be together we will be but as of right now we are not.” He’s posted pictures of the rebound on Instagram but not fb. I just went on a trip to LA this past weekend and I changed my profile picture to a very flattering picture of myself and my best friend. He liked the picture. And my status about LA. That’s the first time he’s liked anything of mine on fb since the breakup (2 months ago). Then just yesterday he randomly texted me asking if I had decided what I was going to do after I leave my current job (something I had told him about almost a month ago), I replied but I cut the conversation very short but on a positive note. I may have made him laugh in that short text convo but you never know, nowadays when someone puts “lol” it could mean nothing. But basically what I’m asking is do you you think I even have a chance of getting him back?

    6. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 4, 2017 at 7:06 pm

      it looks like it but it can only raise if you continue improving yourself and if you can build rapport and attraction.

    7. Avatar

      P

      August 15, 2017 at 3:19 am

      Thank you for replying 🙂 so you’re saying he won’t say if he’s over me or not because he’s in a rebound relationship?

    8. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 15, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      Yes, he’s playing safe.. If he can still string you along he would, if not, then at least he has a rebound..

    9. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 14, 2017 at 9:35 pm

      Because she’s a rebound..

  3. Avatar

    Joyce

    August 13, 2017 at 7:33 pm

    Hi,
    My bf broke up with me saying he needed time to think. We were living together and I’m still in the apartment with all his clothes but he doesn’t sleep at home anymore. So I did the nc for 30 days. But I guess it had no result. A week later he left his laptop at home and I went looking. I found out he had someone else and went on holiday with her during the nc. Me finding out my first reaction was to be mad and call him names. After that I calmed down. The next day I came home to get his laptop and cried asking how it could be we were in this situation while we had everything to be happy. Now yesterday he called me out of the blue crying and saying he’s an a**hole and he’s disgusted by himself and I don’t deserve this. Saying he knows I’ll never forgive this. At the end of the conversation he said it was good to talk to me. Today I tried calling him cause I won’t to talk face to face but he didn’t answer. What do you think? Cause I really don’t know what to do or think anymore. Thx

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 14, 2017 at 8:11 pm

      Hi Joyce,

      Do you have plans of moving out?

  4. Avatar

    ShoMo

    July 30, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    i need you serious help with this one.

    me and my ex boyfriend were friends for the past 10 years. he was married back then until almost 9 months ago he got divorced. there was always this vivid attraction between us even thu we were friends, but i was avoiding him, only see him once every a few months and when he contacts me to speak out to a friend about his marriage continuous issues and troubles with his wife back then. i was a true friend and gave him good advice to work their issues out, comfort and support that he needed .

    anyway, 3 months later to his divorce, i contacted him for help to get a job at the company he works at. he asked me out for coffee and insisted on me that other night to go out the next day, and from there we started seeing each other almost everyday, he asked me clearly to be his girlfriend and told me that he sees himself with me 70 years later! i refused and insisted we shouldn’t coz he is not ready yet. he kept sweeting me with words for about a month until i accepted the fact that we are girlfriend and boyfriend. we had the most amazing 2 month relationship no fights no nothing at all… until i noticed he started pulling away! he was still tied up to legal ties with his ex wife, kids custody and what not…

    we had a silly argument that night and he broke up with me the next day! for no reason at all he stopped talking to me or answering my calls! i sent him a text to be honest with me and tell me whats going on. he said he wasn’t ok with the argument we had the night before and that he needs sometime alone for now to figure things in his head!!! i went all crazy like seriously!! (it was a very silly argument) i bombarded him with texts, calls and what not i was shocked!!!! he went completely silent and didn’t answer me for a month. until i decided to stop and that’s it .. i’m moving on

    4 months later to our breakup, he started contacting me ! completely out of the blue! saying: Hi how are u? and telling me things about his house furniture and renovation work! i was like : what the hell!! he dumped me for 4 months and now he is back completely out of the blue telling me this. i decided to respond shortly and politely , this kept going for a week until sent me 2 days in a row this text : “come over for a drink”!!!!! i got seriously mad and was like what the hell he wants from me! my sister suggested that i call him to get it all straight! so i sent him a text if he can talk on the phone he said: we will talk when u come over. i was like alright i’m coming over!

    so i went to his place, was obvious that i was so mad at him, disappearing for 4 months and suddenly he comes completely out of the blue to ask me to come over for a drink! i confronted and asked him to justify him being silent for 4 months over a silly argument, he said nothing but i was stressed out because of my divorce legal ties and what not. i asked him what do you want from me then, he said he just wanna have a drink with me! he kept getting close from me i kept pulling away and made sure he is not near me, he hugged me and said that he is sorry! nothing more, so i excused myself out that i needed to go back home. and i went actually home

    the next day he texted me asked me to come over again for a drink! i thought hmmm why not. i don’t know but he kinda led me on to come over the night before, with his hugs saying sorry over and over again.. althu he didn’t say we are back on! so i went to his place, was really missing him like hell, couldn’t control my feelings, he started touching me like before, kissing me until we slept together! i asked him after that if we r together or not or where do i stand from all of this, should i contact u like before or not? he was like i really don’t know, i have feelings for u but seriously i don’t know, but u can try contacting me, one way to find out! i was like what the f^%k!!! he knew how i felt and he took advantage of it and kept leading me on to take me to bed!

    the next morning i texted him to have coffee, he was so cold ! he said he have plans with the boys. this is when i got completely mad and sent his this text ” well i wanted to see you for a quick coffee to drop u a message in a civilized way, but since you can’t free urself for that, i seriously now don’t give a damn of how or when to drop it to u. i want to thank you for last night, sleeping with u made me realize where i stand on my feelings, i discovered that i don’t really like you. sorry! and i should me moving on to something better and bigger. can we still be friends? i guess not. you can block and delete my number if you want coz am not gonna bother my ass do so for yours’.

    and that was it. haven’t heard back from him and seriously am fed up with him. i’m done being nice to him and am really hurt 🙁
    i crossed my heart if he ever contacts me again, i will ditch him and that i will stand up to every single word i sent him in my last text message.

    i need your advise on this to carry on pleeeeease :'( i’m a strong girl know how to control myself when the line is seriously crossed. but sometimes, the emotions i have inside for him won’t go away and won’t let me move on.
    because sometimes i don’t know if he was serious about him being all stressed out because of his divorce, and whether he is seriously confused , or he is just full of shit!

    please help

    1. Avatar

      ShoMo

      September 4, 2017 at 9:41 am

      No i won’t do this mistake again (sleeping with him). the thing is, i’m completely fine and over him, also im glad that old relationship has ended. it wasn’t built on healthy basis anyway. i know he is coming back sooner or later, but the only difference this time is i got the hang of it and know exactly how to deal with him since now i can see through him!

      thank you for the great support,

      Best,

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 7, 2017 at 7:41 pm

      That’s good! You’re welcome!

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      ShoMo

      August 31, 2017 at 9:37 pm

      No i wasn’t the one chasing him at all. even when we were together, i wasn’t the one planning to do things or staying around, he was always the one to initiate things. even after he broke up with me, i just wanted him to be straight up and be honest. when i got the answer i wasn’t quite looking for, i sent him the txt dumping him and not the other way around.

      i’m completely ignoring him, but i seriously now don’t know what’s next! please advise.

      thank you for the great help and support. you guys are the best.

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 3, 2017 at 6:59 pm

      that’s good.. so he’s just being the same as before, staying but not committing.. just be consistent on what you really want once you start being rapport again. Don’t sleep with him so that he doesn’t think you’re still the same as before.

    5. Avatar

      ShoMo

      August 29, 2017 at 11:05 am

      so here is an update to my story, after more than a month of NC , which he didn’t try to contact me during, ever since i sent him that text of moving on to something better and bigger, i noticed him waiting on the other side where my job is to see me everyday going to work!!! this has been going on for almost 3 weeks!!! he watches me until i park the car, go inside, then he leaves!!!

      what are his intentions by doing this? i seriously need ur input coz i really don’t understand what he is after by doing this childish act. by the way, he is not a morning person at all, considering the effort he is doing waking up so early just to see me going to work is just so confusing.

      by the way, i’m doing more than great, not really into him like before, i go out with friends and live my life at its best! and i’m determined to do 60 day NC not only 30.

      Thank you

    6. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2017 at 11:39 am

      If he’s used to you just being around or chasing him, that can be his way to see how you would react..

    7. Avatar

      ShoMo

      July 31, 2017 at 4:41 pm

      Thanks for the reply. I need to know please if I have the chance to get him back begging like before. I went on NC about 10 days ago and still controlling myself not gonna contact him. I need ur advise on what to do if He starts contacting me again. Thanks

    8. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 1, 2017 at 2:55 pm

      If he messages you during nc don’t reply.
      Check this one:
      My Ex Boyfriend And I Still Hook Up (How Can I Get Him To Commit)

    9. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 31, 2017 at 3:43 pm

      Hi Shomo,

      Looks like he just wanted to sleep with you..

  5. Avatar

    Sharon

    July 27, 2017 at 7:20 am

    Me and my ex were together for less than a year, we’ve gone through 2 break-ups. I initiatied the first breakup due to my work and i have to move out of town, then i came back after 6 months and by then he had new girlfriend, i confessed my feelings to him and eventually he broke up with that girl and got back with me (he said the girl accused him for something that he didnt do). after we got back together for another 3-4 months, i found my feelings for him is different and we agreedto be separated. After 6 months, he moved out of town to another country. and we still do keep in contacts. And all these 6 years, we have been seeing each other, going for trips, etc. We both have changed in a very good and postive way and until recently, i went to visit him and that sparks between us came back again. We act like and do things like we are a couple when we meet in person but when we are apart, he seems a bit distant over text. I have once asked if he still likes me and he said yes of course and asked me if not why would i think he has been sticking around all these years.
    The thing that confuse me is .. is he just stringing me along to keep me as a friend or is he taking the time to make himslef 100% he wants me back. He honestly told me that he keeps in touch with both of his exes (one on the other side of the globe and one who has a boyrfriend now for almost 2.5 years)but he is currently single. I also knew that he and the exe who now has a bfsending flirty messages half year ago. his exe said even she has a bf for 2.5 years, she still think of my exe sometimes. But that was half year ago.
    Should i continue to make some effort if i want him back or just go with the flow and let things die off ? I need some advices please.

    1. Avatar

      Sharon

      July 30, 2017 at 10:40 am

      Yes we were a couple 6 years ago when he first arrived in my country.
      and all these years our relationship have been quite complicated, something more than friends but not officially a couple. We travel at least 1-2 times together to other countries every year and since last year, he moved to another country and we have been seeing each other even more, i flew over to visit him twice in 3 months and next week he is flying to my country for a quick visit. I’m just confused…..if i should end it asap….
      Thanks for the link btw, its very interesting and useful.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 29, 2017 at 7:24 pm

      Hi Sharon,

      You mean you were a couple 6 years ago? I think that’s too much of taking time.. You’re friendzoned..
      Check this one:
      EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

  6. Avatar

    Tanya

    July 26, 2017 at 2:36 am

    Hi
    I’ve been in a LDR/relationship with this guy for about 11 months (we are from different countries and we met when he was having an exchange in my country and dated for 7 months). When he went back we did LDR and I went over to visit him. Things were going pretty well and we were planning to move together and live together in his country. He called me his soul mate and he said that he would always love me. However as I went back to my country to apply to apply for jobs we got into several fights over small things (due to misunderstandings over text or poor communication) but always made up. I was going through the process of applying for a job and it began to seem likely or at least possible that I could get a job, he suddenly breaks up with me saying that he was no longer sure if he loves me but cares for me a lot and would help me in the process of finding a job (reason number 1 that he is not 100% into me). It sounded like cold feet to me because he was talking about how he I’d afraid of being responsible for me when I move over. Having not prepared for this I tried to get him back and we agreed to take a break for 2 weeks. During which I might get called up for an interview in his country. I’ve began the no contact period for 2 days and am wondering if I should extend it to 3 weeks without giving any notice. It’s currently still a LDR, so does it change anything about the NC period or would you recommend something different?
    Thank you so much, the stuff you guys been putting here is great and useful!

    1. Avatar

      Tanya

      August 5, 2017 at 1:33 am

      Hi Amor,

      We broke up and I’m starting NC. Should I do a 30 days one or 21 days? He’ll be getting busy at the end of the month and I wanna catch him at a time where he’s free.

      Thanks!

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 6, 2017 at 7:01 pm

      Do 30 days

    3. Avatar

      Tanya

      July 31, 2017 at 5:29 pm

      Hi Amor,

      I meant I was applying to jobs in his country. Do you still recommend no contact? Or to talk things out?

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 1, 2017 at 3:29 pm

      Talk to him first.. If it doesn’t work, start nc

    5. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 28, 2017 at 6:30 pm

      Hi Tanya,

      Yeah, it looks like cold feet but if you were planning to move in with him, why were you applying for jobs in your country?

  7. Avatar

    Jas

    July 22, 2017 at 2:42 am

    Hi, I broke up with my boyfriend recently due to Him being nasty and not listening to my feelings .. I decided to do no contact, late last night I received a text message saying ‘ how’s your new boyfriend good hey?’
    Then another one saying ‘ no reply as usual talking to myself again’
    What does this mean why does he assume I have a new boyfriend ?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 2:44 pm

      he probably knows you would reply with that text because you would defend yourself.

  8. Avatar

    sophie

    July 12, 2017 at 12:41 pm

    I got with my ex 4 years ago and have been broken up for two years. we were in love not one argument for the first year of our relationship. bit of background we have both come from similar backgrounds and are very reserved people, when he was 15 his dad had an affair and his mum left him he had to go and live with him auntie, we both suffer from anxiety he suffers from depression too. the way he treats women including his mother is not nice. when I met him he was very low with his anxiety and depression and I wonder if that’s why he treated me so well. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner. 9 months in to the relationship I was on a family holiday alone I found out I was pregnant I was assured that all would be ok and we could continue with the pregnancy we were both happy about this. during my holiday I also found that my partner had been texting other girls in Portugal where he was currently visiting with friends. being immature I blocked him from contacting me for the two weeks whilst I have since found out that these text messages were sent by his friends. being immature at the time I followed my ex boyfriend on instagram – no messages or anything like that I would never cheat on anybody and I loved and still love him so much I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. after returning frim my holiday we continued with our relationship and I blocked my ex boyfriend from contacting me however we was contacting me on his friends accounts in the middle of the night etc I was always open and would tell him what was going on, after months of arguing over his cheating messages and my ex boyfriend I decided to have a termination, I was left on my own to go to the clinic and my bank card was taken off me leaving me with very little money for the weekend as he was required to go away and work and had lost his bank card he didn’t even call me to see how I was feeling. following this we went on vacation during this time I was not allowed to have sex because of my termination however he insisted I did as I asked him to get off me during this due to the pain and being on 3 lots of antibiotics after getting and infection he did not talk to me for 2 days of the vacation which was horrible and so upsetting and on top of this I found text message of 10/15 girls. after begging for months and months for him to stop and saying that I wouldn’t continue the relationship if he carried on acting like this we broke up. when we would have a slight disagreement or argument I would be blocked on all forms of contact despite being together for days on end until he would decide he wanted to speak to me this has caused me to have really bad anxiety. since splitting up we have both been back and fourth with contact, I know he has acted bad however I have said a few nasty things and also messaged consistently for days and called consistently like a physco. he says he cannot forget my past (my ex) however he has been in contact multiple times over the last 2 years asking to see me/speak to me have a fresh start act like nothing has happened. however i cannot do this as I know he is in contact with a number of different calls and he has lots of different calls all over his social media accounts due to his job it means that he has a lot of female attention however this is because he has a lot of money to offer then, he is paranoid of this and is aware. I do believe he has changed and I have taught him a lesson not to treat people the way he has as you will just get a headache in the long run lol. however he wants to speak to me aswell as all the other girls that he speaks to, when I block him on every method of contact he emails. he goes through weeks of hating me before reaching out and contacting me for a made up reason he could never admit that he cares. I don’t want to throw away the last 4 years as I do still love him howveer I don’t want to waste anymore time. someone help?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2017 at 1:49 pm

  9. Avatar

    Gina

    July 4, 2017 at 2:36 pm

    Kakistos is a Buffy reference!
    Do I get the free e-book? 🙂

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      Sorry Gina, only the first person gets it. Thanks for trying though

  10. Avatar

    Jackie

    July 2, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    Hello, I broke up with my ex three months ago. I broke up with him because he waited to tell me about his divorce and kids until after asking me to move in. We only dated for two months but we both fell for eachother quickly. After the breakup he kind of shut down while I still wanted to talk about things. I found out later his mom is ill and he was dealing with that too.
    For the next few weeks I was very emotional and he was distant. We didn’t talk for a month. Then I contacted him. The conversation was fun and casual, seemed like how we were before and could just joke with eachother. Then he got sexual towards me and asked if we could have sex again. I was on the fence about it and expressed how I felt and he said okay I understand.
    After about a week, we talked about hanging out but nothing came of that yet. We are not in contact now and it’s been a few weeks.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 4, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      How much are you improving yourself and how active were you in posting?

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    Amy

    June 30, 2017 at 8:25 pm

    hey
    My problem is like the fourth signal, only it’s calls and texts! We had already moved forward alot ! We were texting and calling ! Although I tried to convince him he said okay and even would say he loves me ! Then soon I just talked about my guy friend and he just stopped our conversation and is became distant and I became distant for some days then starting texting him! He talks really briefly with me and says he will text me and call me but doesn’t ! And replies late or doesn’t at all! What should I do now? It’s like all my progress went down hill from there! I have already done the no contact strategy before all this!
    Please help!

    1. Avatar

      Amy

      July 7, 2017 at 3:41 am

      Isn’t 45 days too long? What if he never talks to me again if I purposely ignore him ? And I am so little active on social media! Doing that will be too out of character for me and I don’t feel comfortable sharing my life with the whole world! Is there any way around the social media thing?

    2. Avatar

      Amy

      July 6, 2017 at 11:29 am

      How many days of No contact? 21, 30 or 45? I had improved a lot during the NC before but I fell in love again with him and was too available and couldn’t really control myself much so that’s why! I got way too desperate and begged and everything so I kind of backpedalled and did all these stupid things which I wasn’t supposed to do! When he came back, he clearly asked me if I was seeing someone else and that he would like for us to give it a try and that he hopes it will turn out good and he said he has feelings for me that’s why he came back! Everything was so promise but I ruined it all!
      Now he knows that I am still the same person although I did improve but I did the stupid things and now everything is even worse!

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 7:55 pm

      Do at least 45 days..

    4. Avatar

      Amy

      July 5, 2017 at 8:38 am

      After my break up for 4 straight months then wished him birthday then for 1 month again which he broke and texted me and then 1 week and then continuous contact and now everything is like this!

    5. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2017 at 6:15 pm

      Because you didnt do everything the right way.. Did you just lately do the begging? The right way to do nc is to improve yourself, be active in posting, slowly and continuously build rapport while also continuing to do what you started to do in nc.. It’s not a guarantee that that will work. It will only increase your chances but since you didn’t follow it, it didn’t help you too.. So, try it the right way, one last time..if it doesn’t work out, you have to move on..

    6. Avatar

      Amy

      July 5, 2017 at 2:51 am

      Immediately after the break up for 4 straight months then wished him birthday and then 1 month which he broke and contacted me and then he waited another week to text me and then we were in continuous contact and I have done mini NC in between which is alientating him! Nowadays I text him and he replies late and we talk and he doesn’t contact me himself anymore! I text him sometimes every other day or after some days consecutively!

    7. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2017 at 6:15 pm

      Because you didnt do everything the right way.. Did you just lately do the begging? The right way to do nc is to improve yourself, be active in posting, slowly and continuously build rapport while also continuing to do what you started to do in nc.. It’s not a guarantee that that will work. It will only increase your chances but since you didn’t follow it, it didn’t help you too.. So, try it the right way, one last time..if it doesn’t work out, you have to move on..

    8. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 4, 2017 at 5:31 pm

      How many times have you done nc?

  12. Avatar

    Barbos

    June 27, 2017 at 8:06 pm

    Hi I am a guy, so maybe not in the right place to comment here but if you can help me everything is welcome.

    I met my boyfriend in february and after two weeks of dating we admitted we are in a relationship. Everything went smoothly. My boyfriend is a muslim so he was not out to his environment but he always came with my friends and we were open.
    After two months I met his family (as friends of course). I knew he loved me. So, it was i quite big step for him.

    We are very different personalities. Two different worlds but his physics and the passion drew me towards him. Intellectually we were also very different. I’m into politics and arts. He wanted a stable life and not a lot of ambition. I didn’t really mind it, cause I have my friends for those kind of things. He was really bad in communicating. He even said everything is communication. Not talking and just being with each other is also a communication. So, a lot of things he said didn’t make sense. So, day by day I got irritated and he was also being greedy.

    My female best friend was always with us. And they bounded really good. We saw each other a lot during the week. And we spoke daily on our WhatsApp group. I really loved the fact that my best friend and my boyfriend like each other a lot. Until the fact when we, my boyfriend and I, had a fight and I kinda ended it for just few hours then we went out to talk and we talked but nothing much came out. He didn’t see any problems only I did. And after a while he asked why I was so against his bound with my female best friend. I told him I always wanted you two to have good bound. But now, that you are asking me during our conversation about my best friend this is not ok! I felt terrible about it. He also said to me, if something happened to us. He would like to keep contact with the 3 of us.

    After our conversation everything was fucked up for me. I was less satisfied. We grew apart. He was writing in our WhatsApp group and in our private group he was almost cold showering me. So I went to him and asked that we should end this relationship or give it a try again after a pause ( the holy month of Ramadan was in june and I had also exams). So, I thought 3 weeks of having a break, will clear the things up. But after two weeks I had enough I wrote him. Ands asked if he had thought and made a decision through WhatsApp. I did this on purpose cause live he could never express himself.

    He said to me that he thinks that we should break up and stay friends. I only see mistakes of others but I don’t see my own mistakes. He also said that i need someone who is more like me and that he is to boring for me.

    I said I missed him and asked if he loves me. He responded love is a big thing. He said I love my mother and my sisters and friends. But if you mean if I love you like a partner, he said the he doesn’t love me any more. Just like a friend.

    I said that’s a clear answer which I couldn’t give. So I thanked him for the wonderful moments and told him we learned a lot. And I got much more wiser than before.
    He asked me if this is a bye forever or what? I responded that I am just thanking and appreciating the moments. We don’t know what the future might bring.

    So we ended our conversation. But, two days later he sent me a video listening to our song. I didn’t respond to that video at all. And few days later he liked one of my pics on Facebook.

    What’s this all about? Why did he argument that he loves his mum, sisters but not me anymore,… and after two days sending a quite emotional song, our song together.

    Can’t figure it out at all. I so wanna move on with my life. But this ending feels just not right.

    1. Avatar

      Arbos

      July 3, 2017 at 5:37 pm

      @EBR Team Member: Amor

      So, he was friendzoning me? Does this mean that I can’t be together again with him? I really want to be together, despite all of those things that don’t match between us.
      This passion and emotional bound is really strong.

      Today I asked him if we could grab a drink. He responded yes of course. We will see each other Thursday. First he was sending just one words text. But later on he asked me if everything was going ok. Afterwards we had a conversation about his family and stuff like nothing had happened. All this things happened today. I’m not gonna ask him immediately to get back, but that’s clearly my intention. I don’t feel that it is really over between us.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2017 at 4:17 pm

      How are things now?

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2017 at 5:02 pm

      He wants to friendzone you.. Because he felt that you said goodbye and it’s out of his hands..so, that’s his way of slowly moving on

  13. Avatar

    Shannon

    June 2, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    My bf and i of 4 years broke up and after not speaking for 32 days i never begged,pleaded, texted or called him after he broke up I strictly went to no contact. He contacted me out of the blue on day 32 with a bogus text trying to reach out. Anyway i acted cordial and told him that I would like to talk sometime soon because there were some things i wanted to say to him. Anyway when i went over and apologized for my part in how our realtionship broke apart he told me that he loved and missed me and that he wanted a future with me. We were initmate and he was soo sweet telling me he loved and missed me and kissed me and cuddled with me. The next day i got two 4 texts from him one saying Love ya and i replied I love you too with kissy face emojs then he replied back with emjo kissy face and wrote Love Love Love ya and today i have heard nothing Im sooo upset and confused now Im guessing I was used

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 2, 2017 at 7:49 pm

      its hard to telll if its just a day.. you have to observe more in the coming days

  14. Avatar

    Kim

    May 20, 2017 at 10:27 pm

    Hi, me and my boyfriend were together for over three years and this past year has been rocky. In December he broke up with me and two weeks later he regretted it and convinced me to get back with him. I did even though I felt like we didn’t let enough time pass. We were together for about to months which were absolutely amazing. I had to break up with him because again he wasn’t sure what he wanted so I had to put my foot down. We’re young and he wanted to play the field, as did I. After a month and a half he reached out to me and confessed that he messed up and wants me back and doesn’t care how long it takes. This was about a week ago and he we have talked a little in between but I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to make plans with me. I don’t know what to do. I love him and my heart is set on him but I don’t want to be on the back burner. SHould I just wait and see what happens or reach out to him?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 22, 2017 at 6:43 pm

  15. Avatar

    Ayano

    May 15, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    I had a talk in person with my ex after 2 months of NC, but unfortunately the talk was for us to get a closure of the breakup. That was his idea, since we didn’t end the rls well. It was weird… seeing him and feeling the emotion as if we were still in love. I don’t know about him, but my part still feel the spark between us. It has been deeply buried with his sadness and regret. Despite of saying he was out of love for me, his body language and eye contact said we’re still intimated. But I have less hope after the talk due to 2 reasons:

    1. He was very keen on the thought of him being an asshole that he has mistreated me, and I deserve someone better. He said he made a rush decision of being with me out of loneliness. I asked him would he like to try again if a chance were given, he said: “Yes I would, but people will think I’m shameless.”
    2. Another reason we had the talk was that I discovered he started this sort of ‘intimacy’ with his female friend in college short after we broke up. I feel like he’s being disrespectful to me, to our relationship. He’s an honest man tho. He insisted that he really likes her. He has been liking her since freshman year (during that time he was still in a LDR). But he didn’t cheat, he only considered her as a friend. That was same to his rls with me. But the point is… how can a ‘like’ got serious that quickly? Just ended a rls then quickly jump into a new chase. I broke this to him that he probably doesn’t even now what love is. He was upset, but didn’t say anything, because he knew I wouldn’t believe him. Eventually said he doesn’t want a rls right now. But it still hurts knowing he gives his heart to someone else so fast.

    Ever since first contact, I’m always the one initiate the conversation, he has been distant and talk less. But I noticed that he still reminds me to sleep early every day (all our conversation happen at night), when I ask what’s his problem with my sleeping habit, he said he doesn’t want me to be hospitalized like him; He was annoyed when seeing the cut on my arm, sometimes asked about my family. Just minor and subtle signs, but does that mean he still care?

    In our talk, he even said: “Do you know that you look beautiful in this angle?” I was surprised, but I decided to test by saying “Now I know, you still like me.” he was silent for a moment and added “As friends. Because you’re a nice girl. Too nice for me.”
    Are ‘friends’ supposed to care for each other like that? He still loves me, isn’t he?

    What should I do? My case is like no others. It’s so hard to get to him when he has closed his heart, and someone not a rebound got in the way. We’re still on talking term, but how can I get him back if he has accepted the end result?

    1. Avatar

      Ayano

      May 21, 2017 at 10:52 am

      I’m afraid he’s being indifferent. We only talk through FB, I’m not friend with him there but we still keep contact through messenger. He shows no emotion (he’s being friendly and polite, like we’re good friend), never initiates contact, shows less interest in keeping the conversation though we can still share details of the day (what we did, our grades at school, him planning on buying a new watch and asked my opinion on the watch). I’ve read the post about GIGS, I don’t see his behaviors match any of those Chris mentioned. He has had a soft spot for her throughout 2 relationships with me and his previous gf. I know they’re not officially dating, but she’s his priority now and my heart aches every time I see her chat icon on his phone (he sometimes takes a screenshot of his phone). I feel like he’s waiting for her, patiently flirting. Can we inspire indifference to make it become love again? I want to know if there’s still the slightest chance before completely giving up.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 22, 2017 at 7:44 pm

      if he’s waiting for her all along then that is gigs..because that means he thinks no one is better than her.. whoever he is with, if at the end of the day he thinks he should be with her, then that means she’s the best for him..

      when you’re indifferent with somebody that’s more because you’re not emotionally invested in that person.. you said she’s his priority, that means he’s emotionally invested in her.. which goes back to gigs again..

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 16, 2017 at 5:31 pm

      he’s in a grass is greener case.. the bad thing is it’s obvious that you want him back because of your actions..there’s no chase.. so, you’re like friendzoned right now.. it’s either you move on or restart a 30 day nc, be really active in improving yourself, go out and do new things and make new friends and then take it slow in building rapport after nc, while you continue the activities you started during nc.. be an ungettable girl.

  16. Avatar

    Jess

    May 14, 2017 at 12:37 pm

    A week ago my ex ended things after an arghumen. He said he doesn’t feel real appreciated. I begged for him back several times so we were never out of contact for more than 2 days. On Wednesday he said he made up his mind and we can talk next week but need space. Than fri morning asking if I want to get together next week … I said maybe. I said I was happy we were talking again & he said it’s impossible we would never talk again, and he truly wants me as a friend forever.. I felt very friend zoned by that comment. How did he go Fromm being in love with me to loving me as a friend in one week?! Is there a chance to change his perception

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 14, 2017 at 4:54 pm

      try the no contact rule.. do it for 21 days

  17. Avatar

    jules

    May 2, 2017 at 11:19 pm

    My ex and i broke up after 5 years. His reason was that i “dont listen” i analysed his reason and came to the conclusion that even if he felt this was a factor..that it was not the real reason. text me 10 days after he moved out saying he was sorry if i hurt you please forgive me…wished me happiness and thanked me for the things i did..then said he had to leave because his heart was hurting and that we arent on the same level but this is common. – what should i make of this. I didnt write back.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 3, 2017 at 7:15 pm

      looks like he fell out of love. Aare you going to do the no contact rule?

  18. Avatar

    Steph

    April 29, 2017 at 12:37 pm

    Hi! Just broke up with my ex recently. He told me that he was confused as to what he wants from me and that he needed the time to see this confusion. But he still asks for my pictures of myself to be sent to him because he said that he wanted to keep it. Is he really confused or he is making himself confused?

    1. Avatar

      Steph

      May 2, 2017 at 12:07 pm

      Sorry, I dont know how to reply. Should I give him the pictures which he is asking for? Or just completely ignore him and do the NC?

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 2, 2017 at 8:16 pm

      that’s ok..ignore him, keep in nc..

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 30, 2017 at 12:06 pm

      he might be confused.. because by human nature he’s still used to having you around but that doesn’t means he wants to get back with you.

  19. Avatar

    Steph

    April 29, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    Hi! Just broke up with my ex recently. He told me that he was confused as to what he wants from me and that he needed the time to see this confusion. But he still asks for my pictures of myself to be sent to him because he said that he wanted to keep it. Is he really confused or he is making himself confused?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 30, 2017 at 12:05 pm

      he might be confused.. because by human nature he’s still used to having you around but that doesn’t means he wants to get back with you.

  20. Avatar

    R

    April 29, 2017 at 5:36 am

    Hi, I really need your advice.
    One month ago my boyfriend broke up with me. It all started from a silly fight, after that he kept saying things like we have nothing in common and that he started to get bored in the relationship. We had been together for 3 years.
    For almost two weeks we continued living together in our rented apartment. He continued to do a some nice things for me like picking me up from work and buying food to eat together. One day he kissed me and hugged me, saying that he missed me, and then we had sex, but the next day he told me he was still going to continue with the breakup.
    So he found a place in a student dorm (we are both still students) and I went to sleep at a friend’s house because i did not want to see him moving his stuff. But after two days he called me crying and said that he wanted to try and work things out again and I agreed. He said that we needed to do more fun stuff together so that we never get bored of each other again.
    However, he has been very distant since then. I have been the one who initiates most of the activities, but mostly he refuses saying he’s tired or that we don’t have money to go out. But we had a few happy moments, too.
    I also have to mention that, after the breakup, my mother called him and said some hurtful things to him. I apologized and tried to convince him that she would finally have to accept us, but since then he has been mentioning her a lot in conversations, saying that she’s never going to act nice to us if we stay together.
    Two days ago we spent a romantic evening together and I thought that things were finally falling into place.
    The next day, however, he told me that he was going to move some stuff to his mother’s home. He would not give me a clear explanation for that. Later, I entered on his facebook profile and noticed that I can’t see some of his recent posts, and I also can’t see his friends list anymore (did he block me in some way?). Later I also noticed that he put a password on his phone and laptop.
    When I confronted him about moving his stuff, he said that he only sees us in a short-term relationship and not as a married couple and that we’ll never be able to live peacefully because our parents don’t get along. I asked him if he wanted us to terminate the relationship, but he did not know what to reply.
    Yesterday, I got tired of us living under the same roof but ignoring each other, so I asked him what his intentions are. He said that he intended to stay with me until in found a new place to live (I am going to buy an apartment) so he could help me move. And that he moved back because it was more comfortable for him, but that he thinks we could be good roommates. I said it’s too painful for me to live with him without being in a relationship, so he decided to start moving his stuff next week. Later, he also said that he did not like how our families disapprove of us (his mother, which has never liked me, told him she would never visit us if we stay together) and that he wanted a relationship were being in good terms with each other’s families is possible.
    I don’t understand what was the true reason for the break up (was it our parents or the fact that we have nothing in common?) . Is there any hope to save this relationship and if yes, how should I act? For now, I will go away for a few days to visit my family, but when I come back I will probably have to stay and watch him moving his stuff out of the apartment.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 30, 2017 at 11:50 am

      Hi R,

      he’s more likely just adding up his parents as a reason, but if he really still wants to be with you, he wouldn’t care much about that to break up with you.. try at least 30 days of no contact.

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