Decoding Mixed Signals From Your Ex Boyfriend - Based On Real Life Scenarios

598 thoughts on “Decoding The Mixed Signals From Your Ex Boyfriend”

Jessica

February 5, 2018 at 1:27 pm

Hi my ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago out of the blue when he suddenly said that our expectations were mismatched and he cannot see a future at this point. that obviously broke my heart and i sent him a goodbye text 2 days later to which he replied to. i decided to initiate no contact to help with the healing when a week into.it he suddenly texted saying he saw something on YouTube and thought of me ( the links were relevant tp an important passion of mine. after i thankwd him for the links there was no.reply.

i was wondering what kind of text this would be and why he would send something like that. any idea of how to proceed

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2018 at 11:36 am

Hi Jessica,

You need to restart the count because you replied.. That’s common for an ex because even if he broke up with you, doesn’t mean he is not used to talking to you.

S'LEX

January 10, 2018 at 2:53 am

Hello,
My name is S’Lex. My boyfriend and I dated each other for 3yrs with 2 yrs of him trying to get me prior to our relationship (i was just gettung out of relationship) but we went on dates talked on the pgine but had fall outz longest being 8 months until we finally made it official then we went 3 yrs straight. We broke up 4 months ago had a big fight (no one cheated) but there were issues we had.. So while we have broken up wehave not talked as much. In the relatuonship whenever we would get in an arguement i would alwayz be the obe crawling back. After this break up i we were at first for the 1st month and a half trying to work tgungs out but i saw i was the only one putting efforts so i told him that i am walking away completely and if its meant to be we will be (hardest decision b/c i love him so much) after all ge id the one that initiated the break up. So after the break up he started talking to his ex from 7 yrs ago and they had sex.. i also had sex with an ex but it actually meant nothing to me. He has contacted and told me he misses me he even started hanging out with my little brother everyday going to the gym and was telling my brother great things but acting completely different with me (mixed signals) was coming over my house while i was at work. This has stopped he blocked me on facebook but i had already deleted him as my friend the 1st week we broke up but he actually blocked me i think around new years day. So the other night he called me (late) (oh yeah i did no contact none of that shit worked( i think it back fired anyways he called me late i did not answet it was too late so i called him two days later and he didnt pick up so then he called me back two days later which was today so i pick up so hes like did you call me? I yold him i was returning his phine call but he acted like he didnt remember so he then says to his boss because he was at work (shes pretty as fuck you have to keep her) i guess he was then i asked him did he need anything he took that as me being jealous of what he said ti his boss then he was explaining to me he was talking to his boss about his girl…. i was not jealous at all i said is there anything you need he thought i was rushing him off the phone he saif i just wanted to see how you are doing i told him i was good. He told me a customer was coming in and that he would call back.. he dudnt call i am not chasing him but i miss him, What do i do?!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2018 at 5:03 pm

Hi S’lex,

how long did and what did you do during nc? And how did it back fire?

S'LEX

January 10, 2018 at 2:50 am

Hello,
My name is S’Lex. My boyfriend and I dated each other for 3yrs with 2 yrs of him trying to get me prior to our relationship (i was just gettung out of relationship) but we went on dates talked on the pgine but had fall outz longest being 8 months until we finally made it official then we went 3 yrs straight. We broke up 4 months ago had a big fight (no one cheated) but there were issues we had.. So while we have broken up wehave not talked as much. In the relatuonship whenever we would get in an arguement i would alwayz be the obe crawling back. After this break up i we were at first for the 1st month and a half trying to work tgungs out but i saw i was the only one putting efforts so i told him that i am walking away completely and if its meant to be we will be (hardest decision b/c i love him so much) after all ge id the one that initiated the break up. So after the break up he started talking to his ex from 7 yrs ago and they had sex.. i also had sex with an ex but it actually meant nothing to me. He has contacted and told me he misses me he even started hanging out with my little brother everyday going to the gym and was telling my brother great things but acting completely different with me (mixed signals) was coming over my house while i was at work. This has stopped he blocked me on facebook but i had already deleted him as my friend the 1st week we broke up but he actually blocked me i think around new years day. So the other night he called me (late) (oh yeah i did no contact none of that shit worked( i think it back fired anyways he called me late i did not answet it was too late so i called him two days later and he didnt pick up so then he called me back two days later which was today so i pick up so hes like did you call me? I yold him i was returning his phine call but he acted like he didnt remember so he then says to his boss because he was at work (shes pretty as fuck you have to keep her) i guess he was then i asked him did he need anything he took that as me being jealous of what he said ti his boss then he was explaining to me he was talking to his boss about his girl…. i was not jealous at all i said is there anything you need he thought i was rushing him off the phone he saif i just wanted to see how you are doing i told him i was good. He told me a customer was coming in and that he would call back.. he dudnt call i am not chasing him but i miss him, What do i do?
Nichole

January 3, 2018 at 3:32 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me on Christmas Eve. We’ve had a rough relationship of me being very insecure and always questioning him. He couldn’t take it anymore and left. We have a child together and I’m pregnant again. He said he wanted space and time to figure out what he wants to do, if he wants to try again or not. When he left I begged and cried and blew his phone up. Didn’t get me anywhere obviously. So I’ve left him alone and he messaged me last night about our son. I asked him what’s up with us. I needed to know something. And he said he told himself he wasn’t going to do this again but then he says he doesn’t just want to walk away from it, and he still doesn’t know what to do. How can I bring him back to me. He is a stubborn ex. He’s been through this before with his ex of 10 years and 3 children together. He said he would never do it again. He said we’re all the same and we don’t change. I’ve never been the girl I was with him. I was always laid back and cool and fun. Then I got insecure and crazy around the time I got pregnant. I need to show him I’m changing and I need to get him back. I don’t have time for 30+ days no contact and all that. We’re supposed to get a place together at tax time. I need something asap. Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 9:29 pm

Hi Nichole,

check this one:
How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them

Magdalena A Garcia

January 2, 2018 at 5:11 am

My ex and I were in an on again off again relationship for 2 or 3 years. Every time we break up, we go a few days or a few weeks without speaking. This last time, I wanted things to be over so I did no contact for 3 weeks. Then I left a voicemail asking for something I left at his house. He did not call back and instead had his cousin bring over a bag of my things. This included gifts I had given him. I felt like it was a slap in the face. I texted him about how hurt I was and he responded by denying that he returned gifts and inviting me over. This was on New Year’s Eve. I told him I needed space and that I needed to continue working on myself. Then, I contacted him today because I was confused about him returning my things and asking me to go over on the same day. He said he would call me back and he never did.

Every time we go our separate ways, he invites me to hang out but only after I’ve initiated contact. He rarely initiates anything. I sent him a series of texts basically saying that our relationship cannot continue this way. Either we both work on ourselves so that we can be in a healthy relationship or I do not want him inviting me over because our volatile cycle is stunting my progress and growth. He hasn’t responded.

He makes me feel like he just wants to use me when it’s convenient for him. He always invites me over and we just hang out in his room. We fight so much and he never got anger management when he said he was going to or any of the other things he has said.

I’m not sure if I responded in the right way but I thought, it’s better to be honest and put my feelings out there than to be afraid all the time like he is.
LeLe

November 13, 2017 at 5:14 pm

My boyfriend of 11/2just broke up with me and I just moved in w him 2 months ago. Things are awkward because I basically am styck living w him until I van save $ to move. He basically said he doesnt see a future w me ect.. Ect. Its been 3 weeks and he out of blue said he wanted to cuddle.. I was confused but I did cuddle w him obviously I missed him and he cuddles me and kissed my cheek. But in the next breath says nothing has changed. We are stillbroke up. I just simply said yes I know. Even tho i was thinking wtf!!?? He def said he wants to be my “friend” but I told him no lol not sure what is happening.. Please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 17, 2017 at 8:18 pm

Hi Lele,

follow this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Ashley

November 5, 2017 at 4:25 pm

I’m not a huge “poster” on social media but recently it’s been about 4-5 days and I make sure that it’s positive and not about drinking or partying. I’m still continuing to work on myself… working out, etc. What should I be doing from here? I haven’t contacted him since I didn’t hear back from him, that was last Wednesday. How long do I wait before reaching out again? What type of message should I send?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2017 at 7:51 pm

check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Ashley

November 4, 2017 at 7:43 pm

We broke up almost 2 months ago, we only dated for a month and a half. The reason for the breakup was a too much too fast and I freaked out a little bit about his ex girlfriend texting him constantly. I heard for short term relationships it’s best to keep the flame alive, so I only did no contact for a week and a half.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2017 at 6:53 am

Yeah, that’s probably the length I would advise you too but how much did you improve yourself and how active were you in posting? And are you still doing that? And asking him to dinner, is too forward for now.. He’s giving you mixed signals because yes he does miss you, but it doesn’t mean he wants to get back together.

Jena

November 4, 2017 at 1:41 pm

My ex and i are trying to work on some type of anrelationship. We are going to counseling, but confusing bc he says there’s no pressure and just taking things day by day. Meaning he wont say he wants a boyfriend vs friend ending. He continues to communicate daily but it’s inconsistent. Some days it’s all day and sometimes he will ghost for 4-5 hours. Tells me details of his life one day and next tells me l don’t have a right to ask or gives vague responses. He also used to pay attention to details and now i am the one who does that. At the same time he now invites me over to hang out more and even attend school functions with his kids but then days later takes a road trip and doesn’t tell me until 12 hours later. It’s all very confusing. Help…,

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2017 at 6:37 am

Hi Jena,

what kind of counseling are you both going to? If it’s a couple’s counseling for a relationship, is it clear to him that it’s that? Because it looks like he has already friendzoned you.

Ashley

November 4, 2017 at 12:27 am

My ex and I were texting and flirting last week. He even said “I wish you were here” because he was on vacation. Then he suddenly stopped texting. I asked him to dinner this week and he replied he was slammed at work so I asked about the weekend and he didn’t reply. He always replies to my texts… why could he be giving me mixed signals? I’m so confused because he was so great last week.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 4, 2017 at 1:16 am

Hi Ashley,

when and why did you break up? How long was the relationship and have you done the no contact rule? If yes, how long?

Nana

October 29, 2017 at 3:14 pm

Hello, i want a piece of advice please.
My ex-boyfriend tries to come back in my life. We broke up because he cheated on me. First, he texted me to know how I am doing. I answered normally. He said he wants to call me, he asked a lot of questions about my life. I was okay with it. Recently he asked me a favor, to promote his business. We are not friends and this is not my job.The man knows so many people. According to me, the guy is extra ! What do you think please ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2017 at 9:28 pm

Hi Nana,

If you dont want to, there’s nothing wrong not doing it..

Casey

October 26, 2017 at 5:00 pm

I have a situation that sort of falls into this post, but not really. My now ex-boyfriend and I moved in together after about a year of dating, lived together for about another year–he pushed me away and disrespected our relationship by venting to other girls, started drinking too much etc etc, and he did not opt to work on things but also said he didn’t want me to go. So clearly I took this as he does not want me–I left him and moved an hour away. We are separated no contact for 4 months, both tried seeing other people, when he popped in at my work. He said I was the one and he loved me so after a couple weeks, even though I told him I wanted to go slow, next thing I know he is calling me his girlfriend and its back on. About 6 months later (now) and he is about to graduate (hes 24, im 25) and I am moving my career back to our hometown, where we met. Long story short, he said he loves me but he could not be sure where he saw me in his future. He basically asked me to wait indefinitely for him to be ready to put me into his future plans, but that he doesn’t want to see anyone else. I am not that girl that is going to wait for him after everything we went through to decide whether or not he wants me, so I broke up with him yesterday morning. He texted me last night that he loves me, then calls me this AM at the usual time like nothing every happened. He didn’t mention the break up at all. He goes on about his midterm, my job interviews, the cat, etc etc, for about 5 minutes then its done. What the hell does this mean and what does he want from me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 29, 2017 at 11:22 am

HI Casey,

he’s trying to act normal, maybe friendzoning you because he’s still used to talking to you..

P

August 14, 2017 at 7:57 pm

My ex and I dated for 3 years. We broke up for the second time on July 3rd, the first time was back in march of this year then we got back together mid April and things were great! At least I thought.. He had started to get depressed and I tried being there for him but he just pushed me away. He got into another relationship a week after the brake up. I asked him if he started liking her while we were together he said no. I asked “So you’re telling me you’re over me and don’t ever want to be with me again?” He said “not at this moment. its gonna take me a long long time to figure myself out”. In a long text message I said “if you’re done with me you need to tell me so I can try to move on” he said “Im not making any decisions rn besides that I’m leaving. gotta go. then figure out who I am. then get to work on my future again and then I can think about other things. in running in place. cant take it.” He won’t give me a straight answer about us, what does this mean? Also he is not moving anymore because he was offered a great opportunity in the town we live in.

P

September 8, 2017 at 6:51 pm

Thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 13, 2017 at 12:13 pm

You’re welcome!
P

September 5, 2017 at 12:32 pm

Thanks again. I asked him if we were trying to be friends and he said “yea but I just want to be civil.” What should I do now?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2017 at 8:50 pm

just continue building rapport, but don’t always be available.
P

September 1, 2017 at 6:02 pm

Almost a month ago he said he’ll “always love me but the spark is gone. If we are meant to be together we will be but as of right now we are not.” He’s posted pictures of the rebound on Instagram but not fb. I just went on a trip to LA this past weekend and I changed my profile picture to a very flattering picture of myself and my best friend. He liked the picture. And my status about LA. That’s the first time he’s liked anything of mine on fb since the breakup (2 months ago). Then just yesterday he randomly texted me asking if I had decided what I was going to do after I leave my current job (something I had told him about almost a month ago), I replied but I cut the conversation very short but on a positive note. I may have made him laugh in that short text convo but you never know, nowadays when someone puts “lol” it could mean nothing. But basically what I’m asking is do you you think I even have a chance of getting him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 4, 2017 at 7:06 pm

it looks like it but it can only raise if you continue improving yourself and if you can build rapport and attraction.
P

August 15, 2017 at 3:19 am

Thank you for replying 🙂 so you’re saying he won’t say if he’s over me or not because he’s in a rebound relationship?
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 15, 2017 at 8:06 pm

Yes, he’s playing safe.. If he can still string you along he would, if not, then at least he has a rebound..
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 14, 2017 at 9:35 pm

Because she’s a rebound..

Joyce

August 13, 2017 at 7:33 pm

Hi,
My bf broke up with me saying he needed time to think. We were living together and I’m still in the apartment with all his clothes but he doesn’t sleep at home anymore. So I did the nc for 30 days. But I guess it had no result. A week later he left his laptop at home and I went looking. I found out he had someone else and went on holiday with her during the nc. Me finding out my first reaction was to be mad and call him names. After that I calmed down. The next day I came home to get his laptop and cried asking how it could be we were in this situation while we had everything to be happy. Now yesterday he called me out of the blue crying and saying he’s an a**hole and he’s disgusted by himself and I don’t deserve this. Saying he knows I’ll never forgive this. At the end of the conversation he said it was good to talk to me. Today I tried calling him cause I won’t to talk face to face but he didn’t answer. What do you think? Cause I really don’t know what to do or think anymore. Thx

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 14, 2017 at 8:11 pm

Hi Joyce,

Do you have plans of moving out?

ShoMo

July 30, 2017 at 6:37 pm

i need you serious help with this one.

me and my ex boyfriend were friends for the past 10 years. he was married back then until almost 9 months ago he got divorced. there was always this vivid attraction between us even thu we were friends, but i was avoiding him, only see him once every a few months and when he contacts me to speak out to a friend about his marriage continuous issues and troubles with his wife back then. i was a true friend and gave him good advice to work their issues out, comfort and support that he needed .

anyway, 3 months later to his divorce, i contacted him for help to get a job at the company he works at. he asked me out for coffee and insisted on me that other night to go out the next day, and from there we started seeing each other almost everyday, he asked me clearly to be his girlfriend and told me that he sees himself with me 70 years later! i refused and insisted we shouldn’t coz he is not ready yet. he kept sweeting me with words for about a month until i accepted the fact that we are girlfriend and boyfriend. we had the most amazing 2 month relationship no fights no nothing at all… until i noticed he started pulling away! he was still tied up to legal ties with his ex wife, kids custody and what not…

we had a silly argument that night and he broke up with me the next day! for no reason at all he stopped talking to me or answering my calls! i sent him a text to be honest with me and tell me whats going on. he said he wasn’t ok with the argument we had the night before and that he needs sometime alone for now to figure things in his head!!! i went all crazy like seriously!! (it was a very silly argument) i bombarded him with texts, calls and what not i was shocked!!!! he went completely silent and didn’t answer me for a month. until i decided to stop and that’s it .. i’m moving on

4 months later to our breakup, he started contacting me ! completely out of the blue! saying: Hi how are u? and telling me things about his house furniture and renovation work! i was like : what the hell!! he dumped me for 4 months and now he is back completely out of the blue telling me this. i decided to respond shortly and politely , this kept going for a week until sent me 2 days in a row this text : “come over for a drink”!!!!! i got seriously mad and was like what the hell he wants from me! my sister suggested that i call him to get it all straight! so i sent him a text if he can talk on the phone he said: we will talk when u come over. i was like alright i’m coming over!

so i went to his place, was obvious that i was so mad at him, disappearing for 4 months and suddenly he comes completely out of the blue to ask me to come over for a drink! i confronted and asked him to justify him being silent for 4 months over a silly argument, he said nothing but i was stressed out because of my divorce legal ties and what not. i asked him what do you want from me then, he said he just wanna have a drink with me! he kept getting close from me i kept pulling away and made sure he is not near me, he hugged me and said that he is sorry! nothing more, so i excused myself out that i needed to go back home. and i went actually home

the next day he texted me asked me to come over again for a drink! i thought hmmm why not. i don’t know but he kinda led me on to come over the night before, with his hugs saying sorry over and over again.. althu he didn’t say we are back on! so i went to his place, was really missing him like hell, couldn’t control my feelings, he started touching me like before, kissing me until we slept together! i asked him after that if we r together or not or where do i stand from all of this, should i contact u like before or not? he was like i really don’t know, i have feelings for u but seriously i don’t know, but u can try contacting me, one way to find out! i was like what the f^%k!!! he knew how i felt and he took advantage of it and kept leading me on to take me to bed!

the next morning i texted him to have coffee, he was so cold ! he said he have plans with the boys. this is when i got completely mad and sent his this text ” well i wanted to see you for a quick coffee to drop u a message in a civilized way, but since you can’t free urself for that, i seriously now don’t give a damn of how or when to drop it to u. i want to thank you for last night, sleeping with u made me realize where i stand on my feelings, i discovered that i don’t really like you. sorry! and i should me moving on to something better and bigger. can we still be friends? i guess not. you can block and delete my number if you want coz am not gonna bother my ass do so for yours’.

and that was it. haven’t heard back from him and seriously am fed up with him. i’m done being nice to him and am really hurt 🙁
i crossed my heart if he ever contacts me again, i will ditch him and that i will stand up to every single word i sent him in my last text message.

i need your advise on this to carry on pleeeeease :'( i’m a strong girl know how to control myself when the line is seriously crossed. but sometimes, the emotions i have inside for him won’t go away and won’t let me move on.
because sometimes i don’t know if he was serious about him being all stressed out because of his divorce, and whether he is seriously confused , or he is just full of shit!

please help

ShoMo

September 4, 2017 at 9:41 am

No i won’t do this mistake again (sleeping with him). the thing is, i’m completely fine and over him, also im glad that old relationship has ended. it wasn’t built on healthy basis anyway. i know he is coming back sooner or later, but the only difference this time is i got the hang of it and know exactly how to deal with him since now i can see through him!

thank you for the great support,

Best,
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2017 at 7:41 pm

That’s good! You’re welcome!
ShoMo

August 31, 2017 at 9:37 pm

No i wasn’t the one chasing him at all. even when we were together, i wasn’t the one planning to do things or staying around, he was always the one to initiate things. even after he broke up with me, i just wanted him to be straight up and be honest. when i got the answer i wasn’t quite looking for, i sent him the txt dumping him and not the other way around.

i’m completely ignoring him, but i seriously now don’t know what’s next! please advise.

thank you for the great help and support. you guys are the best.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 3, 2017 at 6:59 pm

that’s good.. so he’s just being the same as before, staying but not committing.. just be consistent on what you really want once you start being rapport again. Don’t sleep with him so that he doesn’t think you’re still the same as before.
ShoMo

August 29, 2017 at 11:05 am

so here is an update to my story, after more than a month of NC , which he didn’t try to contact me during, ever since i sent him that text of moving on to something better and bigger, i noticed him waiting on the other side where my job is to see me everyday going to work!!! this has been going on for almost 3 weeks!!! he watches me until i park the car, go inside, then he leaves!!!

what are his intentions by doing this? i seriously need ur input coz i really don’t understand what he is after by doing this childish act. by the way, he is not a morning person at all, considering the effort he is doing waking up so early just to see me going to work is just so confusing.

by the way, i’m doing more than great, not really into him like before, i go out with friends and live my life at its best! and i’m determined to do 60 day NC not only 30.

Thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2017 at 11:39 am

If he’s used to you just being around or chasing him, that can be his way to see how you would react..
ShoMo

July 31, 2017 at 4:41 pm

Thanks for the reply. I need to know please if I have the chance to get him back begging like before. I went on NC about 10 days ago and still controlling myself not gonna contact him. I need ur advise on what to do if He starts contacting me again. Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 1, 2017 at 2:55 pm

If he messages you during nc don’t reply.
Check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend And I Still Hook Up (How Can I Get Him To Commit)
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2017 at 3:43 pm

Hi Shomo,

Looks like he just wanted to sleep with you..

Sharon

July 27, 2017 at 7:20 am

Me and my ex were together for less than a year, we’ve gone through 2 break-ups. I initiatied the first breakup due to my work and i have to move out of town, then i came back after 6 months and by then he had new girlfriend, i confessed my feelings to him and eventually he broke up with that girl and got back with me (he said the girl accused him for something that he didnt do). after we got back together for another 3-4 months, i found my feelings for him is different and we agreedto be separated. After 6 months, he moved out of town to another country. and we still do keep in contacts. And all these 6 years, we have been seeing each other, going for trips, etc. We both have changed in a very good and postive way and until recently, i went to visit him and that sparks between us came back again. We act like and do things like we are a couple when we meet in person but when we are apart, he seems a bit distant over text. I have once asked if he still likes me and he said yes of course and asked me if not why would i think he has been sticking around all these years.
The thing that confuse me is .. is he just stringing me along to keep me as a friend or is he taking the time to make himslef 100% he wants me back. He honestly told me that he keeps in touch with both of his exes (one on the other side of the globe and one who has a boyrfriend now for almost 2.5 years)but he is currently single. I also knew that he and the exe who now has a bfsending flirty messages half year ago. his exe said even she has a bf for 2.5 years, she still think of my exe sometimes. But that was half year ago.
Should i continue to make some effort if i want him back or just go with the flow and let things die off ? I need some advices please.

Sharon

July 30, 2017 at 10:40 am

Yes we were a couple 6 years ago when he first arrived in my country.
and all these years our relationship have been quite complicated, something more than friends but not officially a couple. We travel at least 1-2 times together to other countries every year and since last year, he moved to another country and we have been seeing each other even more, i flew over to visit him twice in 3 months and next week he is flying to my country for a quick visit. I’m just confused…..if i should end it asap….
Thanks for the link btw, its very interesting and useful.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 29, 2017 at 7:24 pm

Hi Sharon,

You mean you were a couple 6 years ago? I think that’s too much of taking time.. You’re friendzoned..
Check this one:
EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

Tanya

July 26, 2017 at 2:36 am

Hi
I’ve been in a LDR/relationship with this guy for about 11 months (we are from different countries and we met when he was having an exchange in my country and dated for 7 months). When he went back we did LDR and I went over to visit him. Things were going pretty well and we were planning to move together and live together in his country. He called me his soul mate and he said that he would always love me. However as I went back to my country to apply to apply for jobs we got into several fights over small things (due to misunderstandings over text or poor communication) but always made up. I was going through the process of applying for a job and it began to seem likely or at least possible that I could get a job, he suddenly breaks up with me saying that he was no longer sure if he loves me but cares for me a lot and would help me in the process of finding a job (reason number 1 that he is not 100% into me). It sounded like cold feet to me because he was talking about how he I’d afraid of being responsible for me when I move over. Having not prepared for this I tried to get him back and we agreed to take a break for 2 weeks. During which I might get called up for an interview in his country. I’ve began the no contact period for 2 days and am wondering if I should extend it to 3 weeks without giving any notice. It’s currently still a LDR, so does it change anything about the NC period or would you recommend something different?
Thank you so much, the stuff you guys been putting here is great and useful!

Tanya

August 5, 2017 at 1:33 am

Hi Amor,

We broke up and I’m starting NC. Should I do a 30 days one or 21 days? He’ll be getting busy at the end of the month and I wanna catch him at a time where he’s free.

Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 6, 2017 at 7:01 pm

Do 30 days
Tanya

July 31, 2017 at 5:29 pm

Hi Amor,

I meant I was applying to jobs in his country. Do you still recommend no contact? Or to talk things out?
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 1, 2017 at 3:29 pm

Talk to him first.. If it doesn’t work, start nc
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 28, 2017 at 6:30 pm

Hi Tanya,

Yeah, it looks like cold feet but if you were planning to move in with him, why were you applying for jobs in your country?

Jas

July 22, 2017 at 2:42 am

Hi, I broke up with my boyfriend recently due to Him being nasty and not listening to my feelings .. I decided to do no contact, late last night I received a text message saying ‘ how’s your new boyfriend good hey?’
Then another one saying ‘ no reply as usual talking to myself again’
What does this mean why does he assume I have a new boyfriend ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2017 at 2:44 pm

he probably knows you would reply with that text because you would defend yourself.

sophie

July 12, 2017 at 12:41 pm

I got with my ex 4 years ago and have been broken up for two years. we were in love not one argument for the first year of our relationship. bit of background we have both come from similar backgrounds and are very reserved people, when he was 15 his dad had an affair and his mum left him he had to go and live with him auntie, we both suffer from anxiety he suffers from depression too. the way he treats women including his mother is not nice. when I met him he was very low with his anxiety and depression and I wonder if that’s why he treated me so well. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner. 9 months in to the relationship I was on a family holiday alone I found out I was pregnant I was assured that all would be ok and we could continue with the pregnancy we were both happy about this. during my holiday I also found that my partner had been texting other girls in Portugal where he was currently visiting with friends. being immature I blocked him from contacting me for the two weeks whilst I have since found out that these text messages were sent by his friends. being immature at the time I followed my ex boyfriend on instagram – no messages or anything like that I would never cheat on anybody and I loved and still love him so much I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. after returning frim my holiday we continued with our relationship and I blocked my ex boyfriend from contacting me however we was contacting me on his friends accounts in the middle of the night etc I was always open and would tell him what was going on, after months of arguing over his cheating messages and my ex boyfriend I decided to have a termination, I was left on my own to go to the clinic and my bank card was taken off me leaving me with very little money for the weekend as he was required to go away and work and had lost his bank card he didn’t even call me to see how I was feeling. following this we went on vacation during this time I was not allowed to have sex because of my termination however he insisted I did as I asked him to get off me during this due to the pain and being on 3 lots of antibiotics after getting and infection he did not talk to me for 2 days of the vacation which was horrible and so upsetting and on top of this I found text message of 10/15 girls. after begging for months and months for him to stop and saying that I wouldn’t continue the relationship if he carried on acting like this we broke up. when we would have a slight disagreement or argument I would be blocked on all forms of contact despite being together for days on end until he would decide he wanted to speak to me this has caused me to have really bad anxiety. since splitting up we have both been back and fourth with contact, I know he has acted bad however I have said a few nasty things and also messaged consistently for days and called consistently like a physco. he says he cannot forget my past (my ex) however he has been in contact multiple times over the last 2 years asking to see me/speak to me have a fresh start act like nothing has happened. however i cannot do this as I know he is in contact with a number of different calls and he has lots of different calls all over his social media accounts due to his job it means that he has a lot of female attention however this is because he has a lot of money to offer then, he is paranoid of this and is aware. I do believe he has changed and I have taught him a lesson not to treat people the way he has as you will just get a headache in the long run lol. however he wants to speak to me aswell as all the other girls that he speaks to, when I block him on every method of contact he emails. he goes through weeks of hating me before reaching out and contacting me for a made up reason he could never admit that he cares. I don’t want to throw away the last 4 years as I do still love him howveer I don’t want to waste anymore time. someone help?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2017 at 1:49 pm

Hi Sophie,

Check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)

Gina

July 4, 2017 at 2:36 pm

Kakistos is a Buffy reference!
Do I get the free e-book? 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 5:12 pm

Sorry Gina, only the first person gets it. Thanks for trying though

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