Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
What Happens When A Narcissist Collapses?
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
What Is An Avoidants Biggest Fear?
Post categories
Jackie
July 2, 2017 at 9:53 pm
Hello, I broke up with my ex three months ago. I broke up with him because he waited to tell me about his divorce and kids until after asking me to move in. We only dated for two months but we both fell for eachother quickly. After the breakup he kind of shut down while I still wanted to talk about things. I found out later his mom is ill and he was dealing with that too.
For the next few weeks I was very emotional and he was distant. We didn’t talk for a month. Then I contacted him. The conversation was fun and casual, seemed like how we were before and could just joke with eachother. Then he got sexual towards me and asked if we could have sex again. I was on the fence about it and expressed how I felt and he said okay I understand.
After about a week, we talked about hanging out but nothing came of that yet. We are not in contact now and it’s been a few weeks.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 4, 2017 at 9:34 pm
How much are you improving yourself and how active were you in posting?
Amy
June 30, 2017 at 8:25 pm
hey
My problem is like the fourth signal, only it’s calls and texts! We had already moved forward alot ! We were texting and calling ! Although I tried to convince him he said okay and even would say he loves me ! Then soon I just talked about my guy friend and he just stopped our conversation and is became distant and I became distant for some days then starting texting him! He talks really briefly with me and says he will text me and call me but doesn’t ! And replies late or doesn’t at all! What should I do now? It’s like all my progress went down hill from there! I have already done the no contact strategy before all this!
Please help!
Amy
July 7, 2017 at 3:41 am
Isn’t 45 days too long? What if he never talks to me again if I purposely ignore him ? And I am so little active on social media! Doing that will be too out of character for me and I don’t feel comfortable sharing my life with the whole world! Is there any way around the social media thing?
Amy
July 6, 2017 at 11:29 am
How many days of No contact? 21, 30 or 45? I had improved a lot during the NC before but I fell in love again with him and was too available and couldn’t really control myself much so that’s why! I got way too desperate and begged and everything so I kind of backpedalled and did all these stupid things which I wasn’t supposed to do! When he came back, he clearly asked me if I was seeing someone else and that he would like for us to give it a try and that he hopes it will turn out good and he said he has feelings for me that’s why he came back! Everything was so promise but I ruined it all!
Now he knows that I am still the same person although I did improve but I did the stupid things and now everything is even worse!
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 6, 2017 at 7:55 pm
Do at least 45 days..
Amy
July 5, 2017 at 8:38 am
After my break up for 4 straight months then wished him birthday then for 1 month again which he broke and texted me and then 1 week and then continuous contact and now everything is like this!
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 5, 2017 at 6:15 pm
Because you didnt do everything the right way.. Did you just lately do the begging? The right way to do nc is to improve yourself, be active in posting, slowly and continuously build rapport while also continuing to do what you started to do in nc.. It’s not a guarantee that that will work. It will only increase your chances but since you didn’t follow it, it didn’t help you too.. So, try it the right way, one last time..if it doesn’t work out, you have to move on..
Amy
July 5, 2017 at 2:51 am
Immediately after the break up for 4 straight months then wished him birthday and then 1 month which he broke and contacted me and then he waited another week to text me and then we were in continuous contact and I have done mini NC in between which is alientating him! Nowadays I text him and he replies late and we talk and he doesn’t contact me himself anymore! I text him sometimes every other day or after some days consecutively!
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 5, 2017 at 6:15 pm
Because you didnt do everything the right way.. Did you just lately do the begging? The right way to do nc is to improve yourself, be active in posting, slowly and continuously build rapport while also continuing to do what you started to do in nc.. It’s not a guarantee that that will work. It will only increase your chances but since you didn’t follow it, it didn’t help you too.. So, try it the right way, one last time..if it doesn’t work out, you have to move on..
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 4, 2017 at 5:31 pm
How many times have you done nc?
Barbos
June 27, 2017 at 8:06 pm
Hi I am a guy, so maybe not in the right place to comment here but if you can help me everything is welcome.
I met my boyfriend in february and after two weeks of dating we admitted we are in a relationship. Everything went smoothly. My boyfriend is a muslim so he was not out to his environment but he always came with my friends and we were open.
After two months I met his family (as friends of course). I knew he loved me. So, it was i quite big step for him.
We are very different personalities. Two different worlds but his physics and the passion drew me towards him. Intellectually we were also very different. I’m into politics and arts. He wanted a stable life and not a lot of ambition. I didn’t really mind it, cause I have my friends for those kind of things. He was really bad in communicating. He even said everything is communication. Not talking and just being with each other is also a communication. So, a lot of things he said didn’t make sense. So, day by day I got irritated and he was also being greedy.
My female best friend was always with us. And they bounded really good. We saw each other a lot during the week. And we spoke daily on our WhatsApp group. I really loved the fact that my best friend and my boyfriend like each other a lot. Until the fact when we, my boyfriend and I, had a fight and I kinda ended it for just few hours then we went out to talk and we talked but nothing much came out. He didn’t see any problems only I did. And after a while he asked why I was so against his bound with my female best friend. I told him I always wanted you two to have good bound. But now, that you are asking me during our conversation about my best friend this is not ok! I felt terrible about it. He also said to me, if something happened to us. He would like to keep contact with the 3 of us.
After our conversation everything was fucked up for me. I was less satisfied. We grew apart. He was writing in our WhatsApp group and in our private group he was almost cold showering me. So I went to him and asked that we should end this relationship or give it a try again after a pause ( the holy month of Ramadan was in june and I had also exams). So, I thought 3 weeks of having a break, will clear the things up. But after two weeks I had enough I wrote him. Ands asked if he had thought and made a decision through WhatsApp. I did this on purpose cause live he could never express himself.
He said to me that he thinks that we should break up and stay friends. I only see mistakes of others but I don’t see my own mistakes. He also said that i need someone who is more like me and that he is to boring for me.
I said I missed him and asked if he loves me. He responded love is a big thing. He said I love my mother and my sisters and friends. But if you mean if I love you like a partner, he said the he doesn’t love me any more. Just like a friend.
I said that’s a clear answer which I couldn’t give. So I thanked him for the wonderful moments and told him we learned a lot. And I got much more wiser than before.
He asked me if this is a bye forever or what? I responded that I am just thanking and appreciating the moments. We don’t know what the future might bring.
So we ended our conversation. But, two days later he sent me a video listening to our song. I didn’t respond to that video at all. And few days later he liked one of my pics on Facebook.
What’s this all about? Why did he argument that he loves his mum, sisters but not me anymore,… and after two days sending a quite emotional song, our song together.
Can’t figure it out at all. I so wanna move on with my life. But this ending feels just not right.
Arbos
July 3, 2017 at 5:37 pm
@EBR Team Member: Amor
So, he was friendzoning me? Does this mean that I can’t be together again with him? I really want to be together, despite all of those things that don’t match between us.
This passion and emotional bound is really strong.
Today I asked him if we could grab a drink. He responded yes of course. We will see each other Thursday. First he was sending just one words text. But later on he asked me if everything was going ok. Afterwards we had a conversation about his family and stuff like nothing had happened. All this things happened today. I’m not gonna ask him immediately to get back, but that’s clearly my intention. I don’t feel that it is really over between us.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 5, 2017 at 4:17 pm
How are things now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2017 at 5:02 pm
He wants to friendzone you.. Because he felt that you said goodbye and it’s out of his hands..so, that’s his way of slowly moving on
Shannon
June 2, 2017 at 5:09 pm
My bf and i of 4 years broke up and after not speaking for 32 days i never begged,pleaded, texted or called him after he broke up I strictly went to no contact. He contacted me out of the blue on day 32 with a bogus text trying to reach out. Anyway i acted cordial and told him that I would like to talk sometime soon because there were some things i wanted to say to him. Anyway when i went over and apologized for my part in how our realtionship broke apart he told me that he loved and missed me and that he wanted a future with me. We were initmate and he was soo sweet telling me he loved and missed me and kissed me and cuddled with me. The next day i got two 4 texts from him one saying Love ya and i replied I love you too with kissy face emojs then he replied back with emjo kissy face and wrote Love Love Love ya and today i have heard nothing Im sooo upset and confused now Im guessing I was used
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 2, 2017 at 7:49 pm
its hard to telll if its just a day.. you have to observe more in the coming days
Kim
May 20, 2017 at 10:27 pm
Hi, me and my boyfriend were together for over three years and this past year has been rocky. In December he broke up with me and two weeks later he regretted it and convinced me to get back with him. I did even though I felt like we didn’t let enough time pass. We were together for about to months which were absolutely amazing. I had to break up with him because again he wasn’t sure what he wanted so I had to put my foot down. We’re young and he wanted to play the field, as did I. After a month and a half he reached out to me and confessed that he messed up and wants me back and doesn’t care how long it takes. This was about a week ago and he we have talked a little in between but I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to make plans with me. I don’t know what to do. I love him and my heart is set on him but I don’t want to be on the back burner. SHould I just wait and see what happens or reach out to him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 22, 2017 at 6:43 pm
check this one:
How To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend To Be In A Relationship With You
Ayano
May 15, 2017 at 5:18 pm
I had a talk in person with my ex after 2 months of NC, but unfortunately the talk was for us to get a closure of the breakup. That was his idea, since we didn’t end the rls well. It was weird… seeing him and feeling the emotion as if we were still in love. I don’t know about him, but my part still feel the spark between us. It has been deeply buried with his sadness and regret. Despite of saying he was out of love for me, his body language and eye contact said we’re still intimated. But I have less hope after the talk due to 2 reasons:
1. He was very keen on the thought of him being an asshole that he has mistreated me, and I deserve someone better. He said he made a rush decision of being with me out of loneliness. I asked him would he like to try again if a chance were given, he said: “Yes I would, but people will think I’m shameless.”
2. Another reason we had the talk was that I discovered he started this sort of ‘intimacy’ with his female friend in college short after we broke up. I feel like he’s being disrespectful to me, to our relationship. He’s an honest man tho. He insisted that he really likes her. He has been liking her since freshman year (during that time he was still in a LDR). But he didn’t cheat, he only considered her as a friend. That was same to his rls with me. But the point is… how can a ‘like’ got serious that quickly? Just ended a rls then quickly jump into a new chase. I broke this to him that he probably doesn’t even now what love is. He was upset, but didn’t say anything, because he knew I wouldn’t believe him. Eventually said he doesn’t want a rls right now. But it still hurts knowing he gives his heart to someone else so fast.
Ever since first contact, I’m always the one initiate the conversation, he has been distant and talk less. But I noticed that he still reminds me to sleep early every day (all our conversation happen at night), when I ask what’s his problem with my sleeping habit, he said he doesn’t want me to be hospitalized like him; He was annoyed when seeing the cut on my arm, sometimes asked about my family. Just minor and subtle signs, but does that mean he still care?
In our talk, he even said: “Do you know that you look beautiful in this angle?” I was surprised, but I decided to test by saying “Now I know, you still like me.” he was silent for a moment and added “As friends. Because you’re a nice girl. Too nice for me.”
Are ‘friends’ supposed to care for each other like that? He still loves me, isn’t he?
What should I do? My case is like no others. It’s so hard to get to him when he has closed his heart, and someone not a rebound got in the way. We’re still on talking term, but how can I get him back if he has accepted the end result?
Ayano
May 21, 2017 at 10:52 am
I’m afraid he’s being indifferent. We only talk through FB, I’m not friend with him there but we still keep contact through messenger. He shows no emotion (he’s being friendly and polite, like we’re good friend), never initiates contact, shows less interest in keeping the conversation though we can still share details of the day (what we did, our grades at school, him planning on buying a new watch and asked my opinion on the watch). I’ve read the post about GIGS, I don’t see his behaviors match any of those Chris mentioned. He has had a soft spot for her throughout 2 relationships with me and his previous gf. I know they’re not officially dating, but she’s his priority now and my heart aches every time I see her chat icon on his phone (he sometimes takes a screenshot of his phone). I feel like he’s waiting for her, patiently flirting. Can we inspire indifference to make it become love again? I want to know if there’s still the slightest chance before completely giving up.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 22, 2017 at 7:44 pm
if he’s waiting for her all along then that is gigs..because that means he thinks no one is better than her.. whoever he is with, if at the end of the day he thinks he should be with her, then that means she’s the best for him..
when you’re indifferent with somebody that’s more because you’re not emotionally invested in that person.. you said she’s his priority, that means he’s emotionally invested in her.. which goes back to gigs again..
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 16, 2017 at 5:31 pm
he’s in a grass is greener case.. the bad thing is it’s obvious that you want him back because of your actions..there’s no chase.. so, you’re like friendzoned right now.. it’s either you move on or restart a 30 day nc, be really active in improving yourself, go out and do new things and make new friends and then take it slow in building rapport after nc, while you continue the activities you started during nc.. be an ungettable girl.
Jess
May 14, 2017 at 12:37 pm
A week ago my ex ended things after an arghumen. He said he doesn’t feel real appreciated. I begged for him back several times so we were never out of contact for more than 2 days. On Wednesday he said he made up his mind and we can talk next week but need space. Than fri morning asking if I want to get together next week … I said maybe. I said I was happy we were talking again & he said it’s impossible we would never talk again, and he truly wants me as a friend forever.. I felt very friend zoned by that comment. How did he go Fromm being in love with me to loving me as a friend in one week?! Is there a chance to change his perception
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 14, 2017 at 4:54 pm
try the no contact rule.. do it for 21 days
jules
May 2, 2017 at 11:19 pm
My ex and i broke up after 5 years. His reason was that i “dont listen” i analysed his reason and came to the conclusion that even if he felt this was a factor..that it was not the real reason. text me 10 days after he moved out saying he was sorry if i hurt you please forgive me…wished me happiness and thanked me for the things i did..then said he had to leave because his heart was hurting and that we arent on the same level but this is common. – what should i make of this. I didnt write back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 3, 2017 at 7:15 pm
looks like he fell out of love. Aare you going to do the no contact rule?
Steph
April 29, 2017 at 12:37 pm
Hi! Just broke up with my ex recently. He told me that he was confused as to what he wants from me and that he needed the time to see this confusion. But he still asks for my pictures of myself to be sent to him because he said that he wanted to keep it. Is he really confused or he is making himself confused?
Steph
May 2, 2017 at 12:07 pm
Sorry, I dont know how to reply. Should I give him the pictures which he is asking for? Or just completely ignore him and do the NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 8:16 pm
that’s ok..ignore him, keep in nc..
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 12:06 pm
he might be confused.. because by human nature he’s still used to having you around but that doesn’t means he wants to get back with you.
Steph
April 29, 2017 at 12:34 pm
Hi! Just broke up with my ex recently. He told me that he was confused as to what he wants from me and that he needed the time to see this confusion. But he still asks for my pictures of myself to be sent to him because he said that he wanted to keep it. Is he really confused or he is making himself confused?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 12:05 pm
he might be confused.. because by human nature he’s still used to having you around but that doesn’t means he wants to get back with you.
R
April 29, 2017 at 5:36 am
Hi, I really need your advice.
One month ago my boyfriend broke up with me. It all started from a silly fight, after that he kept saying things like we have nothing in common and that he started to get bored in the relationship. We had been together for 3 years.
For almost two weeks we continued living together in our rented apartment. He continued to do a some nice things for me like picking me up from work and buying food to eat together. One day he kissed me and hugged me, saying that he missed me, and then we had sex, but the next day he told me he was still going to continue with the breakup.
So he found a place in a student dorm (we are both still students) and I went to sleep at a friend’s house because i did not want to see him moving his stuff. But after two days he called me crying and said that he wanted to try and work things out again and I agreed. He said that we needed to do more fun stuff together so that we never get bored of each other again.
However, he has been very distant since then. I have been the one who initiates most of the activities, but mostly he refuses saying he’s tired or that we don’t have money to go out. But we had a few happy moments, too.
I also have to mention that, after the breakup, my mother called him and said some hurtful things to him. I apologized and tried to convince him that she would finally have to accept us, but since then he has been mentioning her a lot in conversations, saying that she’s never going to act nice to us if we stay together.
Two days ago we spent a romantic evening together and I thought that things were finally falling into place.
The next day, however, he told me that he was going to move some stuff to his mother’s home. He would not give me a clear explanation for that. Later, I entered on his facebook profile and noticed that I can’t see some of his recent posts, and I also can’t see his friends list anymore (did he block me in some way?). Later I also noticed that he put a password on his phone and laptop.
When I confronted him about moving his stuff, he said that he only sees us in a short-term relationship and not as a married couple and that we’ll never be able to live peacefully because our parents don’t get along. I asked him if he wanted us to terminate the relationship, but he did not know what to reply.
Yesterday, I got tired of us living under the same roof but ignoring each other, so I asked him what his intentions are. He said that he intended to stay with me until in found a new place to live (I am going to buy an apartment) so he could help me move. And that he moved back because it was more comfortable for him, but that he thinks we could be good roommates. I said it’s too painful for me to live with him without being in a relationship, so he decided to start moving his stuff next week. Later, he also said that he did not like how our families disapprove of us (his mother, which has never liked me, told him she would never visit us if we stay together) and that he wanted a relationship were being in good terms with each other’s families is possible.
I don’t understand what was the true reason for the break up (was it our parents or the fact that we have nothing in common?) . Is there any hope to save this relationship and if yes, how should I act? For now, I will go away for a few days to visit my family, but when I come back I will probably have to stay and watch him moving his stuff out of the apartment.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 11:50 am
Hi R,
he’s more likely just adding up his parents as a reason, but if he really still wants to be with you, he wouldn’t care much about that to break up with you.. try at least 30 days of no contact.
Kyp
April 27, 2017 at 4:51 pm
Yesterday I was on facebook sharing some videos when at one point my ex got on and he started sharing a couple of my posts. Normally when I get on when he’s on he will leave when I start posting. Sometimes when I’m posting he might stay on but he won’t post anything. When I stop for awhile then he will start posting again but stop when I start. Sometimes I’ve noticed too that when he gets off his friend (the mutual friend) will get on but he won’t post anything. The mutual friend stays in my top 6 friend list all the time even though we don’t interact with each other.
Yesterday my exes new gf posted a pic of herself and I noticed something kinda weird. To me anyway. Awhile back she dyed her hair blonde but the pic she posted yesterday she had red in her hair. What made this weird to me is that I have red hair. I have red hair and brown eyes and she has brown eyes and now red in her hair. Wouldn’t this remind him of me? And why does he react that way on facebook where he seems sorta friendly one day but nothing the next? This is the second time this has happened. Are these mixed signals?
Kyp
May 1, 2017 at 5:10 pm
I asked him once what kind of girls he preferred and he told me smaller brunettes. He knows I’m a natural brunette and out of all the girls he’s been with I’ve been the smallest.
He told me too that he wanted a smaller girl so he could protect her with his size and that’s what he did with me.
But the sad thing too is that while we were together he didn’t think he was worthy of me for whatever reason. Probably because of his low self esteem.
Despite that a couple weeks before he broke up with me he was still talking about me taking his last name. But there was also one day where we were talking through text and at one point he said something like I wasn’t the only one feeling depressed cause he was feeling that way cause he kept thinking I was going to leave him.
I was asking a friend of mine about the whole facebook thing and his thoughts were that maybe he realizes he made a mistake but doesn’t know what to do about it. He never talks to his parents about anything so the people he talked to about us were people who didn’t even like me for whatever reason so I do believe they told him to leave me
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 8:17 am
it can be.. but it can also mean he just have a certain type in women.
Jadyn
April 23, 2017 at 8:18 pm
Ugh. I think my ex gave me these same signals. Or maybe I forced him to. I don’t know. Originally (a month ago) he said he needed a break from us. To find himself. I didn’t understand this. So I gave him 3 days (should have gave him more but I was a basket case). So after 3 days he tells me he hasn’t had time to think about life because he said been super busy (I know he was). So I convinced him we should try to get through it together. That we should end the break and get through whatever was going on together. You see he warned me millions of times that I was an awful communicator and I needed to work on it but I never truly did. And I only realized how bad it was until our 3 day break happened. It was then that I realized how not communicated KILLED. So I convinced him we should end the break and communicate and work through things. I felt like a changed person because I finally understood why he got so frustrated when I would freeze during “talks”. So we got back together for 3 days. I thought things were going well. He still had stuck in his mind that he needed “him” time and he needed to figure his life out. So we told me again that we needed to take a break. This time I went NUTS. I gave him an ultimatum. I told him it wasn’t fair to string me along and it’s impossible to not know how you feel. He either wants me, or doesn’t. I told him to break up with me or stay with me and we would work through issues together. His reply…. I always f**k everything good up in my life and I’ve done it again, you’re amazing I just need time. So because I can’t have my option and take a break I guess we need to break up. We both cried for a good hour. We hugged and kissed goodbye. We said multiple times how we loved each other and didn’t want this. 5 minutes after I left (moved out of his house) he text messaged me saying how wrong this feels and how he didn’t want it to be this way, he didn’t want us to separate. We sent messages back and forth for quite some time. I still didn’t understand what was happening. The next day I begged him to change his mind. I was a mess, I text messages him for hours asking him to just change his mind. To nOt throw away the last 3 years of our lives and to work it out together. He again said how he didn’t want us to separate but now that we have that we have to finding out on our own we we are as individuals and if it’s meant to be that it’ll be….this brought me to this site. I started the NC and I am on day 6. I’m going crazy. What does this all mean? We were looking at buying house for months, and we were even looking at realty posts online afew nights before. How did everything change so fast. I know my communication was bad, that was a big part. But I was so willing to work it out and he just through it away. So many mixed signals that I don’t understand why we are broken up or why he needed a break. I don’t even understand the difference to tell you the truth… I emailed ex recovery with my story, you can look there for more info. But please. Answer me this. What is happening? How do I move in and get through the NC with everything so confusing and not final. I have so much hope. And I think it’s ruining me and stopping me from being able to move on.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 28, 2017 at 5:57 pm
It would be better not to talk to his parents too and his friends for now..so that you wouldn’t look like you’re checking up on him.. He’s probably confused about his decision..leverage that by focusing in yourself in healing and improving and being active in posting..
Shay
February 24, 2017 at 1:53 am
My boyfriend and I dated for 3 months. We had a lot of problems in that, though we work together, we only actually got to hang out about once a week. He wasn’t a very good communicator, so talking in between those times hanging out was scarce. This made it really hard to form an emotional connection. I knew we had problems, but I still wanted to make it work. He did not. Here’s where it gets weird though, before I left his house after we broke, I said “I guess I should go” to which he replied ” I mean you don’t have to. You can stay for dinner if you want.” What even. It’s been about 3 weeks since the break ups and ther’s been very little contact even though we see eachother in passing a few times I day. What did he mean when he asked me to stay for dinner? Is that a sign that he didnt really want to cut contact like we ended up doing?
Robin
March 7, 2017 at 7:22 pm
I didn’t know how to comment so I just hit reply. But anyway my situation is that pretty much everyday he texts me telling me that he is always in my corner and checks my instagram and says how proud he is of me. I’m guessing he really is done? He said he’s going to continue to tell me how proud he is. I’ve already done the 30day nc.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2017 at 12:29 pm
Hi Robin
when and why did you break up? When did you do nc and how much did you improve? Do you mean you’re slowly building up rapport now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 24, 2017 at 2:30 pm
Hi Shay,
can be, but it can also be that he’s just being nice since he knows he hurt you. Check this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend
Abby
February 16, 2017 at 2:04 am
My ex broke up with me about 2 moths ago he said he only wants to be friends I agree at the top me cause that was better than not have him m at all but he’s behavior show me otherwise I felt like he didn’t even wanted to be my friend so I decide just to stop t calling him and texting him after a month of not talking he text me….hi friend….I reply saying hi …. he said I just wanted to say hi I wanted to say hi days back but I did know how….I said ok thank you for saying hi I guess…he said your welcome talk to you later …,.i don’t understand if he doesn’t want anything to do with me it was obvious that he didn’t want my friendship the way he acted with me now after a month he text me why is he doing that for what I’m stop talking texting calling just like he wanted please help me understand he confuses me and hurts me because I go have feelings for him but I know he doesn’t for me but he confuses me
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 16, 2017 at 6:59 pm
HI Abby,
that could be just ego boost, knowing that you’re still replying to him..
CB
February 11, 2017 at 5:28 pm
Very good one, Chris!
Although the part where you explain that for instance you might breakup because you saw your girl flirt with another guy once, is simply wishful thinking on your behalf.
You want to THINK you broke up with her because of a flaw.
BUT: You actually break up with a person due to her being needy
and therefore the dumper getting spoiled.
Goes for 99 % of breakups.
I gather.
To get an Ex back, I think a universal solution is to be cool, aloof, lazy, calm, happy monosyllabic and act not so interested. Hard-to-get and calm.
Makes him work for you (court) again.
safz
January 28, 2017 at 6:47 am
My ex agreed to meet for coffee. Infact he seemed quite keen and to an extent excited. The night before though he started to act very rude and somewhat mean. I told him he didn’t have to come, it’s not big deal.
Well he decides to come anyway. Takes me to a fancy restaurant, brings me an expensive gift. And towards the end of the meeting gives me a ‘friendly’ hug and says I’m here if you ever need someone…. (OKAY THEN).
Not to mention upon asking him if he’s seeing other people, he tells me he’s been causally ‘hooking up’ with ‘very attractive women’.
I made my intention very clear that I was looking to reconcile. But his actions left me feeling very confused, rejected and somewhat annoyed.
He tells me he doesn’t want to get back but reaches out to my sister all the time, expressing how if I can convince him that I make him happy that he will get back together. I obviously ignored this dumb suggestion, because if he loved me he didn’t need my convincing. Anyway, what do you guys think is going on? Every time I try, he runs. Then he contradicts himself by demanding that I be the one trying?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 28, 2017 at 3:09 pm
Hi Safz,
for me he doesn’t sound good.. he looks like he’s selfish..why did you break up?
Zee
January 21, 2017 at 6:00 am
A month after we split, we talked about getting back together. He said let’s take it slow but we ended up being intimate and it threw him off. What if (I assume) he thinks I’m giving him Reason #3?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 22, 2017 at 4:01 pm
Hi Zee,
just dont sleep with him again so that you wont become friends with benefits but continue building rapport
Em
January 1, 2017 at 1:31 pm
My boyfriend and I were together for 2.5 years we had a really good relationship and I’m not just saying that we survived him being gone for 5 months while studying abroad and usually our arguments were small and we got over them very quickly. But he broke up with me the day before thanksgiving with absolutely no warning signs and when I say that I mean I got a text the night before asking if I was still coming home with him for thanksgiving and then the next day we break up because he said he can’t love me like I love him which I can understand but also kind of confusing. He has that he wants to still remain friends and hang out with each other once we’ve givin it sometime for the break to process which was also a very calm break up because I didn’t really know what to say and anything I did say wouldn’t if changed his mind right there. We met our freshman year in college so we live in the same area and relatively close so I see him a lot. our mutual friends are also my best friends which is the shitty part. And the kicker is he has made it very clear that i should still be friends with his roommates and come around and hang out with them often. Most people would be like that’s too bad these are my friends you can find new ones but he’s not saying that. He also hasn’t removed me off any social media sites I did at first but then when I saw that he didn’t remove me then I thought why should I so I readded him and he accepted and when we took a break before we officially started dating he deleted me from everything and was pissed that I tried talking to him so I though that was weird. He doesn’t initiate conversation it’s usually just me but I expect that from him because I don’t think he knows what to say to me because he knows I’m hurting but he’s never told me to stop talking to him and he has never ignored me he usually responds to me in minutes we talk about every 4 days the conversation usually goes nowhere but he’s always been a shitty texter because we were usually always together we didn’t need to. I am trying to move on and I don’t feel like I’ve gotten a lot of clarity as to why this happened because I’ve asked him if he wanted to be with another girl and he told me that he didn’t and I asked if he was completely over me and he also said that he was Not. So I asked him to tell me that there was no more hope for this relationship ever again just so It could sink in more and he tells me at the moment we aren’t getting back together. I was very confused by that because I’m not sure how to take that and it kind of seems like he can’t tell me that our relationship won’t happen again because he doesn’t know. I’m just trying to get some insight on a very confusing situation.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 1, 2017 at 7:45 pm
Hi Em,
he probably fell out of love and was just trying to be nice with you by saying those or because it’s human nature that he wants to continue what he’s used to doing, which is texting and talking to you
Nicole
December 30, 2016 at 1:12 am
I have a somewhat unusual and difficult situation that I can’t even begin to comprehend. I have been in a LDR with a man for 7 1/2 years. We are Long Distance due to our careers, he is 15 years older than me (I am 46). Last year I broke it off for a period (did No Contact religiously for 30 days, re-established contact slowly, and we resumed our relationship)…we reconciled, but obviously didn’t fix our issues. Fast forward to this past October and we had a heated text argument…all of a sudden he just “ghosted” me completely. I was devastated, but never acted desperate. Our last contact was me “arguing” my point in this exchange ,to which I never received a response. I went through the whole emotional mess of just being “discarded/discounted” after 7 years, and it was very painful, but I did not contact him at all. After 6 weeks with nothing I packed all of his belongings up and sent them to him via UPS. I received an email from him afterwards that was a reply message to a string of previous love letters we had written to each other stating he had received his belongings and “it was depressing”. My response was “thanks for letting me know they arrived” and I went silent again.
Fast forward 3 weeks (and Christmas)…I received a bracelet from him. No note, but based on the jeweler, I know it is from him. How in the hell do I respond, or do I not? The dude ghosted me, and damn if that wasn’t a huge mind-fck!!! I am both angry, as I have tried to just move on and dismiss him. I have a huge piece of my mind that he needs to hear…do I do that now? Is that too much emotion to divulge now or do I get it out of my system? Or do I just ignore everything until he reaches out to me again? I don’t know what I want at this point…I was prepared and moving forward with the thought that I was dumped and just getting over the whole thing….Now a HUGE mixed signal, and viewing it as a grain of salt, but angry that it is a grain in a wound that was healing. (I obviously loved this man).
Too old for this sht!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 30, 2016 at 2:49 pm
Hi Nicole,
if it’s for moving on, just ask him for closure