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136 thoughts on “A Comprehensive List Of No Contact Rule Success Stories”

  1. Avatar

    Emily

    January 5, 2018 at 2:28 am

    I’ve never posted anything like this before but after going through a terrible time I felt I wanted to share.

    Me and my partner had lived together very happily for 5 years, we’d been through so much together and finally achieved our dreams, we relocated for great jobs together and life seemed perfect, all of a sudden he announced he wanted some space and to move 500 miles away back to his mums and leave me and our little boy alone in our new house. I run a company and travel a lot, he is a pilot so also travels a lot, we always made sure we were there for eachother so he knew leaving me like that would destroy my world.

    I gracefully allowed him to go and looked to the internet for strength to try and get through this without totally breaking down. I came across the NC rule. I honestly decided to go through this to focus on me and my life rather than getting him back (he’s particularly stubborn and I felt once he’d made his mind up that would be it)

    Within the first week he cracked, contacting me to say how much he missed me, our lives together etc. I stayed strong. He continued to crack. We’re now nearly 3 months down the line and when I finally felt ready to forgive him for what he’d done, understand his side of things and allow myself to calmly listen to him I’ve allowed him to come back…in another months time once he’s proved himself.

    Without NC I would not have been in a place where I could think about moving forward with him. He would never have realised what he had and I wouldn’t have experienced what life is like alone…it’s not as scary as i first thought.

    If this can work for us then I promise it can work for anyone, whether you get back together or finally realise that life is ok without them.

    Be strong. It’s the best thing I ever did.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 7, 2018 at 1:38 am

      Thank you for sharing Emily!

  2. Avatar

    Trish

    December 1, 2017 at 8:02 pm

    I have a couple questions about the No Contact rule. They are covered in some places but alot of different websites give really different advice.
    One question that I have is in regards to social media. I know a big part of working on yourself is showing off the work that you are doing but what if your ex doesn’t use social media? How can you show the work you’re doing and fun you’re having?
    Thanks!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 1:05 am

      Hi Trish,
      that means you need to make your posts public if you’re not friends or not connected.. There’s a high chance he’ll check your account once he gets curious..that’s why it’s important to do posts that just stays there unless you remove them…

  3. Avatar

    Emy

    November 18, 2017 at 6:59 am

    We have been talking since 8months and got engaged 3.5 months back. Its a long distance relationship, no sex, pure feelings. We have never had a fight or disagreement till today instead he always kept talking about the future and always showered me with love and vice versa. Suddenly 5 days back he just broke up with me saying love is not enough and we might not be happy in the future. In one day he just called everything off! Our families were involved we were in love (or so i thought). I kept asking about the reason and he kept giving vague answers and said hes been thinking about it since 15days, but he dint even hint me. His parents are pressurising him away from me i know but i thought he really loved me. What should i do! He has a lot of distractions around him, work, travel, friends. He has’nt even called or messaged since then and i feel was all that time fake?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 20, 2017 at 5:09 am

  4. Avatar

    Sam

    November 6, 2017 at 4:22 pm

    Hi, I had been dating a guy for 6-7 months when he ended our unofficial relationship a week and a half ago. His reasoning was that even though we were great together, that I was an amazing partner, he didn’t see a future with me at the present moment and did not want to continue to lead me on. He insisted that I reach out to him once I get over him because he really did value our friendship. The breakup was amicable and I did not beg or plead with him (although I did cry). We are still Facebook friends but have been NC since the breakup. Even though we were not officially labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend, I considered him as one. We had gone to four weddings together, I had met all his friends and coworkers, and we saw each other 2-4 times a week. My friends and family tell me to move on, but is it wrong for me to have hope that he’ll contact me?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 6, 2017 at 8:43 pm

      Hi Sam,

      It’s normal to feel that way..

  5. Avatar

    S

    September 9, 2017 at 7:24 pm

    I have been in relationship with my ex for 4 years one year and a half was long distance ( moved to barcelona to see if i can start a life there etc. we saw each other 4 times in that year and a half away) . So this year on june 13 my ex breaks up with me through a text. For the next three months its been an emotional rollercoaster for me. We saw each other 4 times. The last time was recent just a week . I moved back to the same city so we can try to work things out. But he has been so difficult. We talked on the 24th of august and i asked if he was seeing someone and he said yes for 4-6 weeks but its not serious etc. And then when we had coffee a week ago he said hes slowly breaking it off with her that shes to clingy. I am really tired of how he is treating me coldly etc. For two days now i thought enough is enough im going no contact. I hope its not to late even after three month after the break up. Id think it isnt. And i do wonder if hell miss me. I really want to be with him again i am not who i was and he doesnt seem to want to see this change in me.

  6. Avatar

    Cloe

    August 23, 2017 at 10:04 am

    Hi, exactly 1 months ago my ex broke up with me, on our 4 months anniversary. 4 months isn’t long but for us it was. The reason he broke up with me was because he ” has stress, he didn’t loved me anymore, i was too clingy ” i only saw him once a week because of our busy internships. I dont get it, why was i ” too clingy ” if i only saw him once a week. He said that he had the feeling that I didn’t trust him which I totally do. I havent talked to him in 3 weeks, i dont think that i can do the NC because in one month i have to go back to school and he’s in all the same classes as i have. Please help me 🙁

  7. Avatar

    Annakay

    July 24, 2017 at 9:00 pm

    I dont know why but my post keeps disappearing.. Could u please respond

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 6:09 pm

      Hi Annakay,

      I responded to your other posts. I’ll just copy my answer there and paste it here.

      talk another friend about being with you if you’re alone at home or a relative.. but right now, stick to nc and be active in improving yourself and keep being active in posting.

  8. Avatar

    Annakay

    July 24, 2017 at 8:58 pm

    My ex broke up with me 4 weeks ago, we were together for 2 years and 10 months, we are both 21 been together from we were 17. He says he wants to be very close friends cause he doesn’t want me out of his life but he says that we dont get along and were not compatible but he still wants to be here for me if i need anything i should just call him and he’ll be here and that he’s going to always be here but he just wants to be free and focus on school(he just start accounting school yesterday)and that i should move on when am ready.  He says he loves me no doubt about it and i will always have a place in his heart so if we’re meant to be then god will bring us back together.. I begged and cried like he always did when i said i was over it and i always took him back in matters of some hours.. This is the first time we broke up for more than a day.. My mom call and talk to him he told her he loves me  but we dont get along and he will help me out with anything, his own mom talked to him and still didn’t do any good so i tried the friend thing for like a week but i couldn’t do it so i decided to start going out because i didn’t really go out much just with him ,he always said we were also best friends and a couple.. I was there for his first job we went job hunting together i was there thru everything bad and now that we both are in stable jobs and can really enjoy life he up’s and leave…ever since i started dressing different and going out he has been calling my phone none stop i ignored them on yhe first day then i caved in after the 6th call he was just checking on me and asking if i am ignoring him on watsapp so i said i cant deal with this right nw he said ok he will just call and if i need anything call him.. He called the next morning to say the same thing that he will always be here for anything..aftee that i stopped accepting his calls.. He keeps watching my watsapp status.. Even saw my friend sunday asking if i was ok and if i had gone to work that day because he was calling me and i didn’t answer. Then he texted the next day on messenger saying hi then 2 seconds later saying “i dont know who is telling you not to speak to me”..the thing is when my mom is overseas he normally is over here with me but he broke up with me just before she lefted.. I love him so much something inside knows he is the one… He always says he believes i am the one.. But now he says he cant do the commitment thing 4 days ago i wrote a post about me being paranoid about someone breaking in my house and he messaged me right away asking wat happened and i should please reply to him and also my friends asking when last they heard from me .. I  am confused.. I always stopped talking to his mom cause we were very close. 
    Help

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 6:09 pm

      Hi Annakay,

      I responded to your other posts. I’ll just copy my answer there and paste it here.

      talk another friend about being with you if you’re alone at home or a relative.. but right now, stick to nc and be active in improving yourself and keep being active in posting.

  9. Avatar

    Annakay

    July 24, 2017 at 4:47 am

    My ex broke up with me 4 weeks ago, we were together for 2 years and 10 months, we are both 21 been together from we were 17. He says he wants to be very close friends cause he doesn’t want me out of his life but he says that we dont get along and were not compatible but he still wants to be here for me if i need anything i should just call him and he’ll be here and that he’s going to always be here but he just wants to be free and focus on school(he just start accounting school yesterday)and that i should move on when am ready.  He says he loves me no doubt about it and i will always have a place in his heart so if we’re meant to be then god will bring us back together.. I begged and cried like he always did when i said i was over it and i always took him back in matters of some hours.. This is the first time we broke up for more than a day.. My mom call and talk to him he told her he loves me  but we dont get along and he will help me out with anything, his own mom talked to him and still didn’t do any good so i tried the friend thing for like a week but i couldn’t do it so i decided to start going out because i didn’t really go out much just with him ,he always said we were also best friends and a couple.. I was there for his first job we went job hunting together i was there thru everything bad and now that we both are in stable jobs and can really enjoy life he up’s and leave…ever since i started dressing different and going out he has been calling my phone none stop i ignored them on yhe first day then i caved in after the 6th call he was just checking on me and asking if i am ignoring him on watsapp so i said i cant deal with this right nw he said ok he will just call and if i need anything call him.. He called the next morning to say the same thing that he will always be here for anything..aftee that i stopped accepting his calls.. He keeps watching my watsapp status.. Even saw my friend sunday asking if i was ok and if i had gone to work that day because he was calling me and i didn’t answer. Then he texted the next day on messenger saying hi then 2 seconds later saying “i dont know who is telling you not to speak to me”..the thing is when my mom is overseas he normally is over here with me but he broke up with me just before she lefted 3 days ago i posted something about being paranoid about someone breaking into my home and he immediately messaged me on facebook asking what happened and i should please reply to him… I love him so much something inside knows he is the one… He always says he believes i am the one.. But now he says he cant do the commitment thing.. I  am confused.. I always stopped talking to his mom cause we were very close. 
    Help

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 4:53 pm

      Hi Annakay,

      talk another friend about being with you if you’re alone at home or a relative.. but right now, stick to nc and be active in improving yourself and keep being active in posting.

  10. Avatar

    Kait

    July 17, 2017 at 7:34 pm

    My boyfriend drove 2 hours to break up with me on our year and a half anniversary. He has been working 90 hour weeks all summer and said the reason for the break up was because he wasn’t happy and hasn’t been himself. I asked if he thought if just maybe it was because he was overworked and he said no. All of our friends and people who know our relationship seem to think that at some point in time we will be back together.
    However, I have implemented the No Contact Rule (on Day 5!) and although it has been really hard I realized a lot of things I did wrong in our relationship. I struggle with depression and so when he left for the summer, I didn’t help myself, instead I took out all of my emotions and feelings on him, which made him even more stressed. I let my mind wonder to dark places and was mistrusting and basically pushed him towards breaking up with me.
    He is coming back to school soon to move apartments and that is when we are exchanging things. I don’t know when exactly, but I do know it will be within the No Contact period. I know I cannot plan out our whole interaction, but I was wondering how to tell him my realizations? I truly believe we can be back and stronger than ever, but how do I also get him to realize it?

    1. Avatar

      Kait

      July 29, 2017 at 5:37 pm

      When he came back to school to move and for us to exchange things, he brought his ex-girlfriend with him. The girl I was worried about all summer. The girl he waited halfway through the summer to tell me that she works where he works again. I didn’t want to see either of them so I took his stuff to his friends house, but he (and she) ended up being there. I gave him his stuff and asked for mine back. He told me I needed to go and I dissed him and her (shouldn’t type it, but about his bedroom skills) and left. Later that night, a guy was walking me home and she happened to try to fight me on the way home from a bar and all I could do was laugh and he had to take her home. Then the next morning I was completely blocked on social media. Then he texted me the next day saying my stuff was on his porch. I didn’t answer though because I’m doing NC again.

      His whole personality changed. Everyone wasn’t expecting this to happen or for him to be acting like this. His own friends are coming up to me and saying they don’t know what’s going on. I can’t even be mad at him because I know this isn’t the person he is. He has to come back for school in a few weeks and she won’t be able to come with him. I can’t understand why he brought her, to hurt me or if she mad him bring her because she didn’t trust him here with me. I can’t help but wonder if after he is done working his crazy hours and comes back to school with our friends if he is going to realize what he did and come back. I would take him back because I know this isn’t who he actually is. Seeing him I couldn’t even recognize him he was so different.

      I guess I need advice on how to handle my situation. If he is ever going to realize what he did. If we can actually be a great couple again. If I’m naive for even thinking like this.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 31, 2017 at 6:21 am

      well, do what you can control, which is yourself. Waiting for somebody to change their mind is unproductive. And if you want a higher chance with, that means you can’t fight with him. If you’re restarting, do at least 45 days and follow the advice on this one:
      How To Win Back An Ex Who Is With Someone Else

    3. Avatar

      Kait

      July 19, 2017 at 3:09 am

      So what kind of conversation do we have? What if he wants to talk about the relationship. I want to be able to acknowledge my faults without sounding like I’m trying to get him back, while also trying to get him back hahah

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2017 at 12:38 pm

      just be casual.. if he talks about the relationship, then just maintain being calm and civil. Answer in that way. Talk about positive things, funny things and look good.

    5. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 9:28 pm

      Hi Kait,

      don’t tell.. Just be calm when exchanging things.. Telling him looks like you’re trying to convince him to come back.

  11. Avatar

    Sharon

    July 10, 2017 at 4:36 pm

    What if we need to see each other at work. I really struggle. He broke up with me 5 weeks ago and told me last week he is casually seeing a young girl

    1. Avatar

      Madyson

      July 16, 2017 at 3:36 am

      Hey! My ex and I have been broken up since 2015 then last year 2016 he came back in July. During this year we have been going out, he makes time for me, we slept together many times (my biggest mistake) recently he told me not to waste my time with him and has been hot and cold. I started the no contact. Is it worth it? Or should I leave him alone period?

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 8:42 pm

      Try to do the no contact process properly, if it doesn’t work, then at least you can move on knowing you did what you can in the right way.

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2017 at 8:40 am

  12. Avatar

    Sharon

    July 10, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    He broke up with me 5 weeks ago. We work together so I really struggle. He told me last week he is casually seeing a young for. Heartbroken. I begged and pleaded at the beginning but don’t know if they miss you if they see you everyday x

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2017 at 8:41 am

  13. Avatar

    J

    July 9, 2017 at 1:43 am

    I’m pretty skeptical right now because the “webinar” was prerecorded so I’m wondering if someone will actually respond to me if I comment. I was considering purchasing pro but now I’m not even sure if any of these comments are legit.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 7:32 pm

      Sometimes I wonder if I’m reall too! Hahahaha

  14. Avatar

    Liz

    June 21, 2017 at 2:55 am

    I just ended a year and a 1/2 relationship with an amazing man. No fights, full of affection and we were both really happy. He was dragging his feet to finalize his divorce and blamed it on money. He had been separated for 3 years because she walked out on him. They attempted to reconcile a year into the split and she walked out again. The second she met me 9 months ago she has been playing the victim hard core. Calling and texting multiple times a day. Finally my boyfriend gave in and started texting her back. I told him it bothered me, he promised he would stop but it never ended. I finally put my foot down and he said he was confused and needed time to find himself. He moved out of our home within a week and I just saw a post this weekend, he gave her the wedding ring back and he moved back in with her. He left me a card that said he loves me and never meant to hurt me. I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he will never forget me and if gods plan brings us together down the road he will be there. I’ve initiated no contact. But all I want is for him to come back. I know he loved me and was happy. His ex is extremely manipulating and abusive. Why in the world would he go back again.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 23, 2017 at 5:07 pm

      Hi Liz,

      frankly, if he really thinks you’re the best, he wouldn’t have left. I think you’re the rebound but I think there’s a chance that he would see you as the grass is greener if the other woman just keeps being herself and you kept improving.

  15. Avatar

    Melina

    June 6, 2017 at 10:42 am

    Hi. WIll it break the NC rule if I’m in contact with his assistant? You see.. I need some stuff in his house but I’m sticking not to contact him directly at all but I really need some important stuff in his house (such as business files and the like). I contacted his assistant and asked a friend to get the files for me. Is that breaking the NC rule?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 9, 2017 at 12:07 pm

      Nope, it’s not..

  16. Avatar

    Barbara

    June 1, 2017 at 6:33 pm

    Hello Amor,
    my Ex wanted to break up three weeks ago, but I convinced him not to, cause I didn’t have a chance, it came out of nowhere. He says, that he needs a lot of alone time in general and can’t imagine beeing in a relationship, where you see each other every day, not with anyone. In the beginning it felt different, he kept wanting to see me and he even through aside plans to move somewhere else after his studies and got his life sorted out. I didn’t ask for that but I think maybe it affected him. We had a big fight one day where he said that he didn’t feel supported enough by me and I was hurt and since then he was so distanced. He broke up last week and I texted him a few days later, saying I was sorry about being selfish. He replied it was his fault and that he had a nice time and hopes that we could both attend our friends group meetings again, without having this “ex”-character to it but tolerate each other. He took a few days to answer that. Monday I send him a picture of something I saw, that he likes, it was a week moment. He didn’t reply. I am intending to keep NC, also I am going to Amsterdam on the weekend with a friend and posting some pictures. We have been dating since January and he asked his friend about the right timing to say “I love you” just before we had our troubled week ending up in the fight. He is quite stubborn, he said in the breakup, that he tried but the feelings aren’t coming back. I feel like deep down he is hurt and that it was a self defense move. I don’t know how to get to him. How to break NC if he doesn’t? Start by normal text or go out on a nice date doing something he likes? I don’t want to give him up 🙁 Sorry for the long text, maybe you know an answer? Thank you, Barbara

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 2, 2017 at 6:55 pm

      Hi Barbara,

      restart the count of nc after that and check this one:
      EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

  17. Avatar

    Lucy

    May 23, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    My ex and I broke up 6 weeks ago. I tried to do no contact two times during that phase and he kept coming up with excuses to get his stuff back, or I sucked. I’m not sure. Eventually, we got to point where we were cool, and sorta of talking civil. I then decided to pull no contact again to give him and I sometime to think things through. I did it a bit differently this time, I sort of just ghosted the conversation and turned my phone off. And it’s been 23 days – I’m not sure if he’s made any effort to contact me. Is this okay? I am nervous he won’t put any effort in and he hates me.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 25, 2017 at 4:17 pm

      but are you actively improving yourself now and in posting in social media?

  18. Avatar

    Laila

    May 16, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    Hi Amor,
    I got a serious problem. My ex broke up with me last night. We were dating for about five months. Unfortunately we had a very long distance relationship but we still managed to see each other for about a total of 2-3 weeks per month. Even when we didn’t, he used to call me several times a day for 2-5 hours. What we had was so special (he always told me) Just one week ago he told me that he has never been so happy with a woman like he was with me.
    We had a big but respectful fight a week ago as his ex reached out to me as she found out he was in a new relationship. They broke up just two months before we two met and were dating for five years… however, he begged me to stay and that he really reaaally loved me. I have to mention that we wanted to move together. He almost was kind of was forcing me to finally come to him so we could arrange everything. Two days ago I had a job interview and got the job. He was soo happy… everything was fine until yesterday. He behaved strangely so I asked what the matter was. First he didn’t really know, said it surely had to do with his job… Then he admitted that things were progressing to fast and that his head couldn’t follow the speed of his feelings. I said that it was ok if we waited and then he said: “I can’t give you what you deserve although I have very strong feelings for you. I need time on my own to know what is going on. I don’t want you to wait for me, as it might take a long time” I told him that it was ok, took all my stuff and drove back home. I want to implement NC and I’ve already started. I just don’t understand what is going on on his mind….. Do you? And do you have any advice for me? Please help….
    Thank you!

    1. Avatar

      Laila

      May 19, 2017 at 8:58 am

      Amor, thank you for your reply. Do you think there is any chance of getting him back? He still likes my pictures but hasn’t reached out to me via text. I am doing NC. However, I wonder if he misses me as I suppose I was a rebound. Is 30 days of NC not too much?

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 19, 2017 at 10:48 pm

      He probably misses you, I think you have a chance.. especially if you convey that you have your own life.. it’s not too much, especially if he’s not initiating a text or wanting to get back together.. but you can initiate a text after nc to start to slowly rebuild rapport..check this one:
      EBR 003: Does Having Your Own Life Help You Get Your Ex Back?

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 18, 2017 at 6:41 pm

      I’m going to assume that getting your job means moving together. he realized that it is going too fast..it’s nice and sweet to talk about moving together but when he realized it’s just been months, it probably scared him..he just got out of a 5 year relationship..it’s hard to be in ldr but it gave him some freedom while still not being alone

  19. Avatar

    Em

    May 15, 2017 at 5:27 pm

    Hello,
    Me and my boyfriend were together for over 3 years. He started to distance himself and next thing I know he is at my house in the middle of the night saying a hurt him because he read my text to my friend saying I’m hurt by his actions. I haven’t heard from him for a week. I did all the bad things. I tried to text and call the first few days. But I just started the no contact. I’m not crying anymore and I feel some what better but I really do miss him. I cut off everything from him and it hurt but it needed to be done. However I don’t know if this will even work. I know I can do this. I just don’t know if he will ever miss me.

  20. Avatar

    Jenn

    May 5, 2017 at 10:15 pm

    Hi Amor,
    My ex boyfriend and I dated for over three years. A year and a half ago he broke up with me out of the blue (I thought). We were long distance at the time. At first I freaked and begged for him back. Then I stopped doing that and when he saw me in person he immediately wanted to get back together. He said breaking up with me was a mistake and he would never do it again. Fast forward a year and a half later and he did it again. He says it’s not me, he’s unhappy with his life and needs to figure things out. He says there’s no hope for us again, but he said that last time. I don’t know what to think. Is there any chance?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 6, 2017 at 4:43 pm

      try to do nc again, do at least 30 days.

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