How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Broke Up With Him

 Ex-Boyfriend-Recovery-PRO

Typically, there are three outcomes to a break up, you can initiate the break, he can initiate a break or you can both agree that you need to go your separate ways. This page is going to focus solely on the women who initiated the break up. So, the ideal person for this page would be a woman who wants to get her boyfriend back after breaking up with him. Before I get going there are a few things that I feel are really important to mention. First off, while I am going to do my very best to give you a winning strategy for getting your ex back I am not going to be able to cover everything that needs to get covered.

Don’t worry though because I put together the best free page on the internet that will literally break everything down for you step by step and teach you how to get your ex boyfriend back. Oh, and FYI, it is going to take you about 30 minutes to read it completely from start to finish (that is how much effort I put into that thing!)

Common Reasons YOU Broke Up With Him

couples break up

There are a lot of different reasons that women break up with men (some being their fault.) I feel it is important to understand these reasons because it will let you know if your ex is really worth trying to get back. I want you to understand that I am writing pages for this website not because I want to make money, but because I want to help you and sometimes helping someone is telling them that their ex is not worth going back to. So, here is how this is going to work. I am going to list some of the most common reasons that women break up with their boyfriends and give my thoughts on each of them. Lets take a look at our reasons:

  • You believed that the other fish in the sea were better.
  • You were worried they were cheating on you (but they weren’t.)
  • They actually did cheat on you.
  • As time went on you became less and less attracted to them.
  • There was a huge fight that resulted in a breakup.

You thought you could do better.

I can do better

At one point of your relationship you thought you could do better. However, after the breakup you realized that you didn’t have it so bad with your ex significant other. This is a theme that is all too common among women so it is nothing to be ashamed of. While certain people might want to make you feel bad for feeling this way I actually applaud you. I think everyone deserves to get the best they can in the relationship department. Now, I will say that if your ex treated you poorly (ex: physical abuse, mental abuse) please do not go back to them. However, if they treated you ok then this is an easier reason to recover from. In fact, some of your ex boyfriends might welcome you back quite quickly but don’t expect things to be smooth sailing right out of the gate.

You were worried they were cheating on you (but they weren’t.)

jealousy

Look, I can massage your ego as much as possible to soften the blow on this one but you messed up. It never feels good to get blamed for something that isn’t true, especially from someone who is supposed to have your back. Nevertheless, you are going to have to work on your jealousy issues. I am not saying that you are wrong for being jealous. Actually, being jealous is natural and everybody who is in a serious relationship will feel it at some time. However, you are going to have to do a better job on dealing with it in the proper way.

They actually cheated on you.

not end well

I am going to be straight with you, a lot of “experts” out there are going to preach forgiveness and I agree with them to a certain extent but I disagree with the ones who don’t acknowledge that chances are, you aren’t going to have a happy ending with the person who cheated on you. So, I am not going to say anymore than this: I don’t like cheating but if you are considering getting back with this person figure out if his cheating was an isolated incident or has happened frequently. Has he cheated on other previous girlfriends? If so, it is a pattern.

You became less and less attracted to them.

unattractive

Have you ever heard the phrase, familiarity breeds contempt. That is exactly what happened here. You were in a relationship so long with a person that everything they did (what they wore, how they talked, how they yawned) just got on your nerves and made them less attractive to you. So, you broke up with them but soon realized that they were the best boyfriend you ever had and you need them back ASAP. It is going to take some work but you can definitely salvage the situation.

There was a huge fight that resulted in a breakup.

fight

If you have spent any time reading this site you may have noticed that I put together a page about legitimate reasons for wanting your ex boyfriend back. On that page I noted that one of the best reasons for wanting your ex back is if your relationship ended abruptdly or impulsively (as the result of a big fight.) Fights aren’t ever a fun experience. However, you definitely have a shot at getting him back.

Is Your Reasoning For Wanting Your Ex Back Ok?

broke up

Now that I have listed some of the most common reasons that caused you to break up with your boyfriend it is time to do some soul searching and figure out if it is ok for you to actually take steps to getting him back. In case you are wondering, I would not recommend that every woman visiting this site go back to their boyfriend. In my view, it is all about your happiness and sometimes going back to your ex, while it could make you happy in the short term, isn’t always the best choice. So, the next big step I want you to take is to take out a piece of paper and write a detailed explanation on why you want your ex back.

Writing this explanation down is important for a number of reasons. First off, it might allow you to take a more objective look at yourself. I know that when I write down an explanation like this, take a break, come back and then read it, I can sometimes have an epiphany like “what was I thinking.” Secondly, it is going to force you to figure out if you wanting your ex back is just an impulse at this moment or a much deeper feeling. Again, I highly recommend that you check out the legit reasons for wanting your ex back article. That page pretty much sums everything up.

The Get Your Ex Back Strategy

A few months ago I had an idea. You see, at that point I was getting a lot of emails from women every single day asking for step by step plans to get their exes back. While I would have been happy to help them out getting your ex boyfriend back is such a complicated subject that there would be no way for me to describe, in detail, how to do it correctly in a short email. So, I came up with an idea.

I was going to create a step by step guide that I could point to any time someone wanted the exact process of getting an ex back. Well, the guide took two months for me to write but I am so happy I did it because it has helped so many women already (seen here.) You can check out the guide below!

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO (The Step By Step Guide)

Learn How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Put your email address in the box to the right to follow along day by day as I show two women (Sarah and Kai) exactly what they need to do to get their ex boyfriends back.
192 Responses to How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Broke Up With Him
  1. Jessica
    September 5, 2014 | 10:33 pm

    So I know I must sound really desperate, but I just broke up with my boyfriend today and I’m already depressed. I am in love with him but he is studying abroad and he never has time to talk to me. We’ve barely spoken in the last two weeks and I’ve made it clear to him today that I can’t handle a relationship like that because Its just getting me depressed. I’m also going to start school soon and hes going to become even busier as well and we just don’t have any time for each other anymore but were still in love. Lately all we’ve done is fight because im unable to handle his schedule. How do you reckon I get over him?

    • admin
      September 15, 2014 | 2:37 pm

      First thing you need to do is implement the no contact rule.

  2. Rachel
    September 4, 2014 | 7:35 pm

    Hi,
    I broke up with my boyfriend about three months ago. I thought that my feelings for him had changed, but now I find myself just thinking about him all the time. He was a fantastic and caring boyfriend, I can’t believe I hurt him so bad. Well I’ve talked to him about everything and he doesn’t trust me anymore. I don’t know how to try and get back together when he doesn’t believe a word I say. I still love him and I know he misses me too.. I don’t know how to fix everything.

    • admin
      September 5, 2014 | 12:25 pm

      Lets dive in to why you thought your feelings changed?

      What happened to make you feel that?

  3. Missy
    September 1, 2014 | 6:33 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend who i loved and thought about on daily basis. we met when I was 18 he was a little younger than me at that time we eventually parted ways.Well about 5 years ago we found each other and I ended up moving to where he lived. I had 2 teens and he had a 3 yr old at that time. Things went good up until about 3 years ago things between us fell apart our differences got in the way causing heated discussions and I blamed him for everything and didn’t look at myself as part of the problem and left him and moved in town in the city we live in. I have tried to keep in contact with him, most of the time he wanted me to come over and we always had sex when I did. Recently he texted me and said he started seeing someone else bur we had a talk before that if he did start seeing someone it will be short and that I will always be apart of his and his daughgter’s lives. She still calls me mom after our break up and friends with benefits thing. Now he is seeing someone else and I can’t stop thinking about him I love him and miss terribly I cannot see myself without him in my life.. I desparately want him back. I know I broke it off with him But I cry every night with regrets and I am angry at myself if only I communicated better instead of not listening to what he was actually saying how we need to come to a happy medium about our differences. How can I get him to look at me the way he used to with Love and Happiness, instead of disappointment and anger and sadness and still asking me why and that I really broke his heart

    • admin
      September 2, 2014 | 12:32 pm

      By becoming the ungettable girl!

  4. Reyanna
    July 8, 2014 | 3:12 am

    My boyfriend and i broke up because he cheated on me with my cousin but i miss him i still love him i feel like im nothing without him i just feel like i need a guy to make me feel like im worth something i want him back i dont know how to get him back i cant i want him back but no use in trying.

    • admin
      July 8, 2014 | 2:37 pm

      With your cousin?

      You can’t be serious?????

  5. Shan
    July 4, 2014 | 7:52 pm

    By the way, I should add that my ex is a very insecure person.

    His last long term relationship before me was about 20 years ago!

    All his friends said he was never interested in anyone in the 9 to 12 years they had known him.

    His fingernails are so bitten theres hardly any nail there!

    • admin
      July 7, 2014 | 5:52 pm

      Def sensing a commitment phobe now that you said the 20 years thing.

      • Shan
        July 10, 2014 | 5:09 pm

        Yea I think so, although I reckon he would have kept plodding along as long as there was no “hassle”. I had a “look” from him the other day when he passed me at work, kinda of half annoyed, half “thanks a lot”. Well at least he looked at me :(.
        I just dont know what to do. Its so hard for it to be like this after what he had together. We were best friends and barely apart :((.
        He wanted us to be friends but I said it couldnt work.

  6. Shan
    July 4, 2014 | 7:46 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I had a “out with it” talk with my ex last night, finally.

    He is STILL angry about our breakup (initiated by me.. and then he refused to work things out), but I also think he makes excuses.

    I broke it off 3 months ago, because of a misunderstanding. I was not very well at the time, and he had promised to do something for me which he didnt do. He admitted he had lied when he agreed to do that thing for me….. And feeling as low and unwell as I was, I told him to go screw himself. It was our first argument… ! After nearly 9 months of getting on really great bar those last 2 weeks where actually we still got on well, those 2 weeks I was just down due to external factors which got resolved.

    Thing is, he knew that I had a medical condition before we met and that it could flare up. This is what happened. And he walked out on me, when I needed him most.

    We have had several talks since our breakup, and he told me that he accepted that I was not well at the time, and that it wasnt my fault. I thought that he had accepted that I was truly sorry, and understood the reasons why it all happened. He also knows that things have changed for me since, in a big way. I dont allow my medical condition to rule my life, and its become a minor irritation now. Im living my life to the full again. However, despite his mixed messages since our breakup about whether or not he wants to work it out, he never told me why we couldnt work it out, and since we broke up he has treated me sometimes like dirt.

    I had already told him that being “friends” wont work. I went no contact on him started 2 weeks ago I broke it by emailing him, then started again and then he broke it by following me and starting a conversation. EAch time I would get upset after. Because he was acting like nothing happened between us. So I decided yesterday enough was enough and turned up at his apartment to have it out with him.

    Hell, he is a difficult and impossible person. You know the kind who want to argue over every word you say. Even argue over what was said in our only argument?

    Anyway when I said I had decided it was best not to have contact with him anymore (which I said was in the last week… ie after the stupid email I sent!)… because I felt he had not treated me very well, he got very defensive and angry and started talking about the way I had broke up with him. He kept pointing it out that “I was the one who had sent him away and told him to go be single”… because he wouldnt do blah blah. and that I was demanding this and that, I honestly thought he was over these things, but obviously not!

    He told me that he wanted to be with someone “as laid back as him”…. he just wants an easy life. He doesnt want a woman who is demanding (I asked him to do ONE thing! which meant something to me at that time), he doesnt want any negativity or problems… yea thats realistic!

    Chris this is a guy with a whole list of faults! He is a long term bachelor sleeps next to a bicycle, who cant chop an onion or paint a wall! Despite all this I stayed with him, and he wants someone “more laid back..”?

    When I FINALLY got it out of him why he thought it couldnt work, he said he just saw that the negativity and being demanding would never end… although there were only 2 weeks of it.
    He went on to say that by turning up at his apartment and demanding answers I was proving that I hadnt changed!

    Well I think after all the hard work I had done in accepting blame and making changes in my life, I deserved to know. He also needed to hear how walking out on me when I needed him, had affected me. Walking out on anyone in those circumstances is not nice. I think he got the message..

    Anyway, I decided that I dont want to have anything more to do with him. He isnt being nice at the moment. He cant seem to recall all the nice and positive things we did. He just wants to focus on the 2 negative weeks…But he generally focuses on peoples bad points anyway.

    I think he is a commitment phobe!

    Im going off the radar. I told him I wasnt interested in knowing him, if this is the way he is with people.

    Chris, I loved this guy with all of my heart. Hell we were happy. very happy until something went wrong!

    What do you think will happen ?

    Will he think about what I said ?

    Will time soften him up and make him realise what a fool he is ?

    • admin
      July 7, 2014 | 5:52 pm

      Do you think he is hung up about this medical condition too?

  7. Tasha
    June 9, 2014 | 11:48 am

    Hi Chris, I broke up with my ex 6 months ago, after a very dramatic fight. Our relationship was serious and lasted five years. The last few years we faced financial hardships that made us fight a lot and our lives gradually drift apart. I eventually found someone new. Thought moving on was the right thing to do. My ex was devastated.. I left a wreck behind. Cruel words were initially said. Although he managed to move on and found someone new, he did forgive me telling me I’ll always be the one for him. He always cared and contacted me from time to time. I had feelings of remorse and true love for him the whole time, which kept me from really moving. After some life changing events I decided to break up with the other guy. He did nothing wrong, however there is no one else I wanna be but my ex. He knows I want him back (it’s been almost 1,5 weeks). He also wants to return he said though we’ll need our time to ‘heal’. I proved him how sorry and changed I am. He was there for me when I recently faced a health problem. The thing is he doesn’t know how to break up with this new g/f as she’s only been good to him, he has feelings for her he says and doesn’t wanna hurt her. He is an extremely sensitive guy. She herself is extremely hurt since she always knew he had strong feelings for me (and lately proved it). Besides, he told her once she met her that I was the love of his life. He needs time to work things out he said but it seems he can’t keep himself from calling me every few days (so far at least) to see if I am ok and express how terrible he feels being in this position. This is nerve wrecking. How long should I have to wait? Will he ever find the courage to let go of her? I only expect the worse. Any advice will be appreciated.

    • admin
      June 9, 2014 | 3:35 pm

      How long has he been with her?

      • Tasha
        June 9, 2014 | 6:58 pm

        4 months or so…during those months he kept telling to my family members (he kept contact) that she didn’t mean anything to him, being with her was just a reaction to what happened, that he loved me etc…and everytime he called me or referred to me it was as if nothing had changed (including the different names we used between us that showed intimacy)..

  8. Michelle
    May 13, 2014 | 6:29 am

    I am in AGONY because I am no longer with my ex but I closed the doors on him out of differences and hoping
    for a greener pasture on the other side! IT was VERY
    Bright Green, but turned brown just as quickly! I left my good man in VAIN! HOW May I get him BACK???!!!
    We Shared 5 great growing years together, he still takes good care of me if I need anything and still gives me a car to use since I lost mine last year. He is a VERY hard working man who has a lot on his plate like myself! It’s been 5 months I have no desire for any other man and already past 40 and Time is short!
    That is what started it, but I did the damage, but wish I could take time back and never wrote that
    sweet good bye poem! He is much nicer to me now too!
    He also has a big 50 b day coming up! I want to throw him a party at the park with all his friends because he
    has come so far and just few folks know his bday, I showed this man a way to bear fruit, I am proud of all his accomplishments since his dream was realized!
    He just didn’t want stress or chaos in his life, that would be me, but he is a type a personality and I have adhd! We also still have each others house keys. All I can think of is improve my work and hope he comes back, he really isn’t marketable so I am not concerned
    he has a g/f but I wasn’t sure if Aug be too soon and afraid of the answer or if need more time to prove to him I am real!
    I was thinking of writing and even stronger love return poem, to give my apologies and desire. The sad thing is he picked me up, and i never wanted to date him, now I had him leave on his how b/c the poem and I want him back in the worse way, he really grew on me
    very quickly, so much like my grandfather too, business first! I NEVER wanted to let him go, but I did!!!! WTF? OMG! I just want to die! I want him by my side! I hope I can focus on work and improve my
    quality of life it seems so impossible when I can’t see his or touch his face or hand every day! What did I do!????? I am so screwed! I finally see the LIGHT,
    but I am on the other side! UGH! Why I read that POEM!

    • admin
      May 13, 2014 | 5:37 pm

      Have you followed any of the advice on this site?

  9. cheche
    April 23, 2014 | 1:18 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I have been dating this guy for over a year now and like a typical couple, we argue usually over text and its becoming more frequent like every week instigated by me. He broke up with me last October because he found out and read most of my personal messages to my guy friend. There was a little flirting but nothing serious. After 2 weeks of NC, he came to me and wanted us back together. After that everything was fine until we had these fights and he usually keep on mentioning what happened during our last breakup. The past couple of weeks have been tough for me. Usually when I have my period I have this irritable and erratic mood. So we had an argument over a text for the reason that I was tired of him not texting me almost every night. His reasons were he was busy with his kids (he has two kids from his previous marriage). He has custody of them for the summer. Anyway, we argue but he told me he dont want us to fight and we made up. Then after a week, I got angry again for no apparent reason and he told me hes tired of my attitude and my way of thinking. But we made up a day after. But this week, was the last falling out. He was out with his family last Easter Sunday and I was out with my family 3 hours away from him. He texted me five times and I didn’t get to reply cause I was having a stomach flu. I got diarrhea along with vomiting. When he texted me again thats when I told him I havent been feeling really well and I have diarrhea and vomiting as well. Then suddenly, he texted me this “When did that start? Can I ask you something?” Then he called me up and asked me if I have gotten my period. I’m 30 and hes 31. I told him don’t worry cause Im not pregnant. I asked him why are you scared of me getting pregnant? And he told me he sucks at being a dad to his kids and he doesnt want to suck with another child more. I was heartbroken and I cried with his answers. After a few hours I texted him I wanted to end our relationship for the mere reason that I want someone who wants to have children with me. He didnt answer me back.
    After three days, I kinda missed him so I texted him and told him I was wrong and Im sorry and I wanted us back together and that Im going to his city today and was hoping I could see him. I still havent got a reply from him.

    What does this all mean? Am i going to assume that this is his way of telling me to leave him alone and move on? Are we really done for sure? How should I know if were done if he isnt talking to me? Ive been crying for days now. Please help.

  10. Jenna
    April 23, 2014 | 3:25 am

    Hey!
    So I broke up with my boyfriend about 9 months ago because I was leaving for college and felt like I was to young to settle down. I haven’t met anyone I like better and realize that I made a terrible mistake. I’ve been trying to contact him and establish our relationship to the way it was before I broke up with him, but I don’t know how to do that. I’ve sent text messages, tried calling him, and done other things to tell him I’m sorry, but nothing seems to work. I’m afraid he might be interested in other girl. I really have no idea how to approach this anymore. Please help!

  11. Victoria
    April 15, 2014 | 9:06 pm

    Hello!
    At this time I broke up w my boyfr because before that he always used to break up w me and at this time I gave up and Left because I realize there is no future and he lied to me over and over again! He was shocked when I left and he couldn’t believe it and now its a month pass by he is asking around about me but still hasn’t contact me. Should i still wait for him to call me and how long more I should wait?

  12. Candace
    April 14, 2014 | 11:55 am

    After 4 months of dating my younger bf I broke with him because stop spending time with me. Even after I told him that I wanted to spend more time. Needless to say I regret it the moment I did it. He says he loves me but feels like he can’t make me happy but I want him back and don’t know how to get him back. Help! Plz!

  13. Claudia
    April 11, 2014 | 3:09 pm

    Hello Chris, it’s been two weeks since I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and 9 months. We had a beautiful relationship, we had crazy chemistry and such a wonderful bond. We both have nothing bad to say about eachother because we truly had something special and out breakup was good it wasn’t nasty. The reason why I decided to break up with him was because I wasn’t really happy anymore because I felt unloved and insecure from his lack of affection. At the beginning of our relationship he was so passionate about making me feel special, however when we turned 2 years he just stopped being as affectionate as he was before and that made me very insecure and we would constantly fight about it. I tried everything to try and fix our relationship and stop all the arguing but he just didn’t put the same effort as I did. I got tired of giving and giving and receiving nothing. He always told me that he loved me and cared about me but his actions didn’t show that. When I broke up with him he didn’t try fixing things he just agreed that we should break up because he said he was tired of being the reason for my misery and he just wanted me to be happy. Deep down I wanted him to fight for me and try to win me back but he hasn’t tried reaching out to me and neither have I because I’m not the type to beg a man. It’s such a shame to have ended a relationship with so much potential. I’m really scared that he’s not going to contact me again just because he wants me to be happy but I really really want him to come back. My question is do you think there’s a good possibility that he will come back and want to work on our relationship? I know it’s only been two weeks and I’ve been really patient and will continue to do so but I just want to be with him more than anything.

    • admin
      April 12, 2014 | 3:53 pm

      If he feels that he can’t find anyone better than you then the possibility of him coming back is very good.

  14. Hugo
    April 10, 2014 | 9:02 pm

    Hi,
    I’m having a problem it’s kinda big.. Well I was in a relationship with a guy 3 years back and we broke up ( no reason actually, I broke up with him T_T ) and I never dated anyone after.. We didn’t keep in touch for a year or so and now we’ve been keeping in touch for almost two years he is still very good to me and knowing that I broke up with him makes me mad and also I know I would never find another man like him I want him I want to tell him that I love him and that I’m sincerely sorry that I had broken his heart but it’s very tough and idk if he actually will want me back .. Could you please help me?
    He is coming to see me next month and I want to confess when we meet not over the phone but I’m scared and I’m not sure what I should say how I should bring up the topic bout getting back with him … He makes me happy and always makes me feel special even now even if he doesn’t want me back I just want him to know how I feel for him so what do you suggest I should say and when? Please help (T ^ T)

  15. Zen Antonette L. Vicente
    April 6, 2014 | 12:24 pm

    Hello. I really wanted my boyfriend back. Well, we are in a long distance relationship, and i never meet him like NEVER, but i fall for him hard. We exchange messages and i got him sometimes a gift but ofcourse he needs to get it from a shipping company where i sent it and ive got nothing in return. Were like 2yrs. I love him sooo sooo much. That i would give him everything he wanted. But there is something telling me at the back of my head that maybe if i broke up with him maybe he’ll come running after me and see what’s my worth because in the past months he’ll always wish for money etc. and my friends told me that im being a sugar mama but i love him and i want them to prove that they are wrong, but i guess they are right because after i broke up with him he just like OKAY, like it was alright with him. But despite of all i want him back. I miss him soo much that i cry myself to sleep. I regret of breaking up with him even if he’s like that. There are soo many reasons i should break up with him and not love him but still there are reasons im head over heels about him. Plss help me. I don’t know what to do. Should i get back to him?? But if not, i cant live without him

  16. Pooja Khanna
    April 4, 2014 | 4:35 pm

    Hey, i broke up with my guy a week ago! He was being disrespectfull, and was acting poor to me. He would’nt do that intially when the relationship started. I had broken up with him 2 times, just the very next day but he come back to me this time! Ive done alot for him. Im not even able to forget him, i still love him and still believe things can get better. What do i do? I dont want to be a retard going back and making him feel that see this women can not live without me, i want to get back to him with him realising my worth. Help me!

  17. Hannah
    April 1, 2014 | 1:04 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend of a few months a couple days ago. This sounds terrible, but his mom had cancer and recently died. For the past month of our relationship, however, he was treating me pretty poorly. He would feel like he had to text me rather than actually wanting to and would never want to hang out with me. I just felt like he should have wanted to. I honestly think things could go back to the way they were before, when they were practically perfect. This is the reason I want to get back together with him. I told him I still wanted to be there for him and he can talk whenever he wants, but he hasn’t taken that offer. I want to keep up communication with him but I don’t want to bug him. So I don’t really know how to handle this situation.

    • admin
      April 1, 2014 | 5:01 pm

      Well, realize if his mom died… that probably messed with his head a little bit.

  18. Melissa
    March 24, 2014 | 5:07 am

    Hi Chris I really need your help. I broke up with my ex boyfriend over 8 months ago end of July. My friend was tragically murdered, I was failing out of a top university, struggling financially, working 3 jobs and I broke up with him because we had small problems yet I didn’t know what to do and still stressful. After I lost my friend I was a mess I couldn’t think, sleep, had nighmares, etc. I broke up with him because I had to focus on myself and I thought being with him was too much for me at the time and I couldn’t handle a relationship. We stayed really good friends because well he was always like my best friend, so we still hung out a lot. He said it would be easier for him to still see me after and I agreed and we got so much closer as friends. Of course it was hard at first for both of us but more for him. Long story short recently I told him end of January 2014 out of respect I started dating someone but ofcourse didn’t even work out because I’m a commitment phobe. Then I saw a picture of him kissing a girl(which she posted on his profile) and it brought back so many emotions. I came to the realization I can’t see him with anyone but me. He’s my best friend and we’re suppose to get married and have kids like we planned. I realized all the stupid mistakes I made in our relationship and realized he treated me like a princess and instead of thinking about all his flaws all the time I should have just accepted them like he accepted my many. Now I’m a mess. I poured my heart out to him face to face because yhey are still seeing each other so it’s early but he said he just started something with this girl and wasn’t just going to leave her. I know this man loves me with all his heart and waited months and months after we broke up so I have hope but very little because I was his first love and broke his heart bad. I know he has love for me but not in love with me anymore. I need some advice. He puts his all into a relationship and I’m afraid he will with this one and I can’t loose him. Hes going to be 25 and she’s 20 with a kid so hoping her immaturity and having a kid will work in my favor but I don’t know. He was the best, most loving, forgiving person I know and I can’t loose him. He’s my soulmate and sadly it took seeing him with someone else to wake me up. Please I need advice.

  19. ritu
    March 19, 2014 | 5:27 pm

    Hey chris,

    I m having difficulties in my relation frm very long time. But somehow i was managing. He doesnt seem to care abt me. Very disrespectful. He cancels every plan i make to meet or to go out. He doesnt apologize and starts talking normally after he hurts me. He hurts and insults me almost daily.
    Yesterday it happened agn. I was hurt deeply. I ignored his every call. Now he msgd me dat he is not well, having fever. I called up, he started talking normally, doesnt apologize for his yesterday’s behavior. I said i cant tolerate ur behaviour any longer, u r hurting me daily. He said ok and disconnected.
    He just doesnt care abt me. R u seeing any possibilty dat he will come back to me and apologize for his behaviour if i go nc? Plz advice.

    • admin
      March 20, 2014 | 5:55 pm

      There is always a possibility but it’s really up to you to decide how good your chances are.

  20. Danzz
    March 18, 2014 | 1:31 am

    Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 1/2 year. We were in a LDR for 8 months of the relationship and coming down to rhe last 3 months he bega. Arguing with over every little thing. Then I cut my hair really short to grow it back healthy and he said he wasnt attracted to me anymore last week when I did it. Then we barely talked for the next few days and he said he was uncomfortable calling me “babe or baby” anymore. He’s been being very distany and very hurtful for the last few konths and I couldn’t take it and I broke up with him… but I want him back, not having him in my life is worst than our arguments. I really love him. More than anything. I’m visiting June 1st 2014. What should I do?

  21. Lourd
    March 12, 2014 | 9:36 pm

    My ex partner and I broke up almost 2 years ago. We broke up because his family againsts me we lived together for 3years. After 3months we broke up, him and his exGF gt back together. He attempt many times to talked with me even if he already has a gf but I always stay away or not to talk to him. Despite of what happened his communication on our child wasn’t end. We start texting last Valentine’s day and then one day I was suprise when he said that he wants me to visit him with our child and planning to have an out of town on our child’s birthday. I asked him why or what’s the reason why he attempts many times to communicate with me even if I drove him away he just said that he don’t have bad intentions nor make a fight with me. I can feel that’s not the real reason. I still love him and I really want to win him back.

  22. red
    March 3, 2014 | 6:38 pm

    dating for 2 years, got into a fight. i broke up with him, and tried to take it back asking if we could work it out. he never really committed to wanting to fix things, so a couple days after the fight i thought he was just stringing me along and i started nc… 4 days into nc i wrote back to a text. did i mess it up? he replied angrily about me being MIA. i told him i needed time. he responded with one word and i haven’t heard from him.

    • admin
      March 4, 2014 | 3:08 am

      Well, stick to NC it is still pretty darn early.

  23. Olivia
    March 2, 2014 | 7:56 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend because I was told he was cheating on me. Take in mind we had a long distance relationship and we’re still in high school, we been together for 8 months now and basically someone told me he was kissing on other girls and doing other stuff and instead of talking to my boyfriend about it, I believed the other person. When it came to brake up with him, all he said was “umkay”.

    • admin
      March 3, 2014 | 6:17 pm

      Have you read my LDR page yet?

  24. Jewell
    February 24, 2014 | 8:46 pm

    I need some major help , I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago because his ex wouldn’t leave us alone , he hates his ex but they have 2 years together and me and him wasn’t together long . he doesn’t want anything to do with me now and it`s killing me inside I fell inlove with him . how can I get him back , any and all advise is welcome !

  25. Erin
    February 22, 2014 | 10:00 am

    Last week I broke up with my boyfriend because everyone was telling me he is a player (at first I ignored it) then they were telling me that soon he will break up with me, so to save myself the pain I stupidly broke up with him. I dont get it because when I broke up with him he was really sad and angry he said ‘to me you are perfect, no one can ever replace you, I’m never getting a girlfriend again’ he was talking about commiting suicide just because I broke up with him! Later that week I found out he had been slitting his wrists cuz I broke up with him. Anyway the day after the break up he got a new girlfriend. Recently he’s been pissed off because his Girlfriend never talks to him, they’ve been out for just over a week and they don’t show any signs of breaking up, I love him so much! I’ve told him but every time I do he just ignores me, Ive tried face to face telling him as well but he doesn’t seem to care! My friends are telling me its because he loves me too but I doubt that. Anyway what do I do to get back with him??

    • admin
      February 22, 2014 | 6:49 pm

      You broke up with him b/c other ppl advised you to?

  26. Makayla
    February 20, 2014 | 8:50 pm

    Hi,My name is Makayla and i’m having some difficulties with relationships… I broke up with my long distance boyfriend because I thought that he deserved better then me…I had also heard rumors that he was cheating on me…I still love him with all of my heart and i want to get him back but i don’t know how it would work since it would still be long distance. Can you help me??

    • admin
      February 21, 2014 | 6:08 pm

      You should read my LDR guide.

  27. Dianna
    February 8, 2014 | 2:06 am

    Hello Chris,
    I desperately need your help. Last week I broke up with my boyfriend. It was for stupid reasons I guess you can say. I was honestly just insecure and didn’t want to get my heart broken so I broke up with him first. Now I feel terrible because I really do love him and I want him back. Please help me!

  28. Rachel
    February 2, 2014 | 1:34 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I love your website! You have a great writing style that is very relatable and easy to understand. I’ve read all your articles so far. I would love to get your e-book but my credit card doesn’t work on your web store (I live overseas, so maybe it’s a currency conversion thing.)
    Anyway, I just have a quick question.
    I broke up with my ex after a fight. It was a rash decision on my part, but what is done is done.
    Does the nature of the texts a woman sends change if she broke up with him? By default, am I “ungettable” because I did the dumping? Most of this advice seems to be geared toward women who got dumped, so I’m not sure if the steps are the same if the woman was the dumper.
    I did NC for over a month, worked on myself, then sent a first-contact text. His reply was “I’m really sorry. Meeting you was a treasure. I’m sorry.”
    I responded briefly and positively that it was nice to hear from him, and that I hoped we could talk again.
    A week later I sent him a funny youtube video saying it made me think of him. His response was prompt, positive but a bit neutral. I kept the conversation short, positive and ended it first.
    I’m giving it time, but I’m a bit nervous as to my next moves. Should I move on to the “best of the relationship,” or just keep it light? I’m tempted to just ask him to meet face to face now, after that apology.
    Any advice would be appreciated.
    Thank you.

  29. vicky
    January 30, 2014 | 12:33 am

    i had a guy and 3 months when we began his ex girl showed up beggin to come back to him,he was confused because both parents were also asking him to reconcile with da lady,he ask me for some time to fix things,i did that but one day i over haered a lady’s voice in his kitchen so i broke up with him,he was very hurt and angry with me that day,am scared i might loose him i still luv him madly.pls help me

  30. Nay
    January 29, 2014 | 3:02 pm

    I still love my ex I was the one who break up with him because he wasn’t giving me much attention. It been a yr since the break up he has a new girlfriend now :( we were just together for 3month and I have strong feelings for him is it possible to get him back? And if yes how? I don’t talk to him or call him we have no contact. Someone plz help me I really love him and I don’t want no one else but him

    • admin
      January 29, 2014 | 7:06 pm

      How long have you been in NC for now?

  31. Sarah
    January 16, 2014 | 10:37 am

    I’ve gotta tough situation here: so I broke up with him, we spent 3.5 years together, 2 of which are LDR due to uni but that should end soon, and he’s got a new girlfriend. No contact ends Monday 20th. He’s also a fair bit older than me but I think that’s irrelevant.
    The question is: even with all those factors, do u think if I’m patient and follow the plan and my gut, do u think I stand a fairly good chance at recovering the relationship? Or is it too many factors making it difficult?

    • Sarah
      January 16, 2014 | 9:55 pm

      Sorry to bother you again I’m just scared there’s too many issues in the above. But we get on amazingly, are a great team, share the same goals and can be total relaxed and ourselves round each other. Do u think that is worth fighting for or too many issues?

    • Angela
      January 20, 2014 | 5:57 pm

      Sarah, LDR is really tough. I broke up with my boyfriend about 5 weeks ago after LDR. I initiated but then regretted. I tried to contact him and told him my honest feeling but he already made his mind. I am still having an extremely hard time but I can’t really do anything right now since he is far away and he believes that this is better for us. He texted me emailed me a lot in the beginning, but now he is kinda in NC which makes me really worried and sad. He might be seeing someone, I dk.

      Sorry for my story, but in my opinion, since your ex already has a new girlfriend, you might not want to contact him and try to move on. He might be more annoyed since he is with a new person.. I know it will be so hard,, I can totally feel.. since when I think about my ex seeing someone and in love with that person, I will go crazy.. but, we can’t just be crazy and sad.. it is unfair for us being sad when they are being with someone else and happy, right??
      Hope you can move one and meet a perfect person for you!

      Cheers.

      • Sarah
        January 26, 2014 | 9:42 pm

        See I can see what you’re saying but after all of 5 weeks I think you’re giving up a bit easily. And my situation wouldn’t have been long distance for much longer as I finish my degree in May. I’m convinced this new woman is a rebound: he even called me at 7am the other day to tell me he stil has a deep love for me but felt he had to try and move on. Although he’s not come back yet if I play my cards right I’m convinced he will.

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