How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Broke Up With Him

Typically, there are three outcomes to a break up, you can initiate the break, he can initiate a break or you can both agree that you need to go your separate ways. This page is going to focus solely on the women who initiated the break up. So, the ideal person for this page would be a woman who wants to get her boyfriend back after breaking up with him. Before I get going there are a few things that I feel are really important to mention. First off, while I am going to do my very best to give you a winning strategy for getting your ex back I am not going to be able to cover everything that needs to get covered.

Don’t worry though because I put together the best free page on the internet that will literally break everything down for you step by step and teach you how to get your ex boyfriend back. Oh, and FYI, it is going to take you about 30 minutes to read it completely from start to finish (that is how much effort I put into that thing!)

Common Reasons YOU Broke Up With Him

couples break up

There are a lot of different reasons that women break up with men (some being their fault.) I feel it is important to understand these reasons because it will let you know if your ex is really worth trying to get back. I want you to understand that I am writing pages for this website not because I want to make money, but because I want to help you and sometimes helping someone is telling them that their ex is not worth going back to. So, here is how this is going to work. I am going to list some of the most common reasons that women break up with their boyfriends and give my thoughts on each of them. Lets take a look at our reasons:

  • You believed that the other fish in the sea were better.
  • You were worried they were cheating on you (but they weren’t.)
  • They actually did cheat on you.
  • As time went on you became less and less attracted to them.
  • There was a huge fight that resulted in a breakup.

You thought you could do better.

I can do better

At one point of your relationship you thought you could do better. However, after the breakup you realized that you didn’t have it so bad with your ex significant other. This is a theme that is all too common among women so it is nothing to be ashamed of. While certain people might want to make you feel bad for feeling this way I actually applaud you. I think everyone deserves to get the best they can in the relationship department. Now, I will say that if your ex treated you poorly (ex: physical abuse, mental abuse) please do not go back to them. However, if they treated you ok then this is an easier reason to recover from. In fact, some of your ex boyfriends might welcome you back quite quickly but don’t expect things to be smooth sailing right out of the gate.

You were worried they were cheating on you (but they weren’t.)


Look, I can massage your ego as much as possible to soften the blow on this one but you messed up. It never feels good to get blamed for something that isn’t true, especially from someone who is supposed to have your back. Nevertheless, you are going to have to work on your jealousy issues. I am not saying that you are wrong for being jealous. Actually, being jealous is natural and everybody who is in a serious relationship will feel it at some time. However, you are going to have to do a better job on dealing with it in the proper way.

They actually cheated on you.

not end well

I am going to be straight with you, a lot of “experts” out there are going to preach forgiveness and I agree with them to a certain extent but I disagree with the ones who don’t acknowledge that chances are, you aren’t going to have a happy ending with the person who cheated on you. So, I am not going to say anymore than this: I don’t like cheating but if you are considering getting back with this person figure out if his cheating was an isolated incident or has happened frequently. Has he cheated on other previous girlfriends? If so, it is a pattern.

You became less and less attracted to them.


Have you ever heard the phrase, familiarity breeds contempt. That is exactly what happened here. You were in a relationship so long with a person that everything they did (what they wore, how they talked, how they yawned) just got on your nerves and made them less attractive to you. So, you broke up with them but soon realized that they were the best boyfriend you ever had and you need them back ASAP. It is going to take some work but you can definitely salvage the situation.

There was a huge fight that resulted in a breakup.


If you have spent any time reading this site you may have noticed that I put together a page about legitimate reasons for wanting your ex boyfriend back. On that page I noted that one of the best reasons for wanting your ex back is if your relationship ended abruptdly or impulsively (as the result of a big fight.) Fights aren’t ever a fun experience. However, you definitely have a shot at getting him back.

Is Your Reasoning For Wanting Your Ex Back Ok?

broke up

Now that I have listed some of the most common reasons that caused you to break up with your boyfriend it is time to do some soul searching and figure out if it is ok for you to actually take steps to getting him back. In case you are wondering, I would not recommend that every woman visiting this site go back to their boyfriend. In my view, it is all about your happiness and sometimes going back to your ex, while it could make you happy in the short term, isn’t always the best choice. So, the next big step I want you to take is to take out a piece of paper and write a detailed explanation on why you want your ex back.

Writing this explanation down is important for a number of reasons. First off, it might allow you to take a more objective look at yourself. I know that when I write down an explanation like this, take a break, come back and then read it, I can sometimes have an epiphany like “what was I thinking.” Secondly, it is going to force you to figure out if you wanting your ex back is just an impulse at this moment or a much deeper feeling. Again, I highly recommend that you check out the legit reasons for wanting your ex back article. That page pretty much sums everything up.

The Get Your Ex Back Strategy

A few months ago I had an idea. You see, at that point I was getting a lot of emails from women every single day asking for step by step plans to get their exes back. While I would have been happy to help them out getting your ex boyfriend back is such a complicated subject that there would be no way for me to describe, in detail, how to do it correctly in a short email. So, I came up with an idea.

I was going to create a step by step guide that I could point to any time someone wanted the exact process of getting an ex back. Well, the guide took two months for me to write but I am so happy I did it because it has helped so many women already (seen here.) You can check out the guide below!

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO (The Step By Step Guide)

Learn How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Put your email address in the box to the right to follow along day by day as I show two women (Sarah and Kai) exactly what they need to do to get their ex boyfriends back.
241 Responses to How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Broke Up With Him
  1. Noel
    February 22, 2015 | 2:49 pm

    I started dating my boyfriend in jan 2013 but he would get really drunk and black out and keep me up all night saying that I was holding him back and he’d claim he killed men and stole drugs from them because he used to be a heroin addict and that was the last time I would ever see him but the next day be truly sorry that he said any of that and he didn’t mean it. Finally he promised me he would stop drinking because I told him I’d leave him. Then one night I pick him up from work and he smells like beer. I can taste it on his mouth. I ended it that night because I finally got the truth out when I tjreatened to have his urine tested for ets. I asked him to leave but I didn’t want to break up. We ended it because he wanted to be “free”. About four months later we started seeing each other then he got a DUI and I bailed him out. He was kicked out of his parents so he came to live with me. I asked him over several occasions if he’d seen anyone or kissed anyone when we were broken up. He told me no. I found out through a mutual friend he had kissed another girl he would still text while we got back together. I asked him to leave. We were over for a week and then I forgave him on the condition that he stop talking to her. Anyway one night he got so drunk he kept crying her name “Ashley” and I was thinking whyyyyyy? But then he said “not that Ashley. The one who OD.’d and died and he helped dispose of her body for free drugs. He didn’t talk about it again and when I confronted his good friend he said to not believe anything and that he’s always trying to make stuff up. Anyway so now I have severe trust issues with him especially after he physically grabbed me during one of his drunken rages and threw me across my couch (I had to call his friend and my friend and leave the comfort of my own home) and I asked him if he truly loved me to let go of his ex Ashley because she’s engaged by deleting her off facebook since they never talk anyway and to stop talking to this girl that he got really drunk with and claims “nothing happened” but doesn’t remember the night. He would not do this simple thing for me and instead left my house. I wish I hadn’t done any of this but I think by putting my story out there someone will convince me I’m in the right and I did the right thing or that I was being ridiculous for asking him to delete two girls off his facebook.

  2. bailey
    February 18, 2015 | 2:11 am

    i broke up with my bf i love him so much i wasnt thinking i acted stupid i want to tell him but every time i get near him i freak out and get super shy i get nervous often and i want to talk to him freely

    • admin
      February 18, 2015 | 9:47 pm

      Why did you break up with him?

    • Hagar
      February 22, 2015 | 2:56 pm

      My bff had a bf . I was the only one who know about this relationship I got really closer to him than before. We sit together to talk about his problem with mu bff. I felt like i love him. When they finally broke up after a month he told me i love you i didn’t believe this but at last he became my bf. Nobody know anything about this relationship also my bff didn’t know .when she finally discovered she got mad at two of us and she made me and my bf hate each other finally we broke up bec of her. Now i want him i need him but i dont know how to become friends again. Can you plz advice me and tell my what to do bec i dony have any ideas?!

  3. ypoyyo
    February 16, 2015 | 2:11 pm

    I broke up with my bf coz he changed a llot.He treated me diffrently but he said he is just sstress.I found out that the nigjt he went ou..he went to a bar where a bar girl he likes works there.IsI called him but he didnt pick up the call and after so many calls i did.he pick it up and just letting me know that he is just havung fun with his bro but with the girl also and the next day he kept tellibg his family that he going to get the girl to be his gf and dunped me once again.He dumped me already..i sent him messgaes but he said he was busy but got time to comment in all the pix of the girl in his fbfb.I asked him and he got angry.from then he changed and keep blaming me for evrything..I love him but he didnt respect me..I was hurt for the 2nd time but still love him..dnt know if i can accept him once more.

    • bailey
      February 18, 2015 | 2:13 am

      dont let him treat you like that get a guy make him jealous if he doesnt love you you shouldnt either dont let him push you around and hurt you you deserve better then that jerk

  4. Terri
    February 11, 2015 | 9:50 pm

    ok so I broke up with him after 8 months over a heated row on the 6th feb , he has suffered two deaths in his family and said I haven’t been there for him,i said id tried my best and he wouldn’t open up to me, it ended with him kicking me out(not in his usual manner)and me left rather foolishly on the street. Im inclined to think this humiliation is what drove me to send the text saying when can I get my stuff?ect..its over. we have only had this sort of argument once before, again me initiating we should split, like the rash idiot I am,i love him wholeheartedly so decided to leave him alone all day on the 7th of feb,the the 8th arrived I couldn’t help myself I text him telling him I was sorry, I love him and im sure it was just the tensions of me starting a new job and him going through a worse period, he kept replying with daft short answers. he told me he loved me, but doesn’t know what he wants, all I can think is ive broken is trust. the last bit of contact I had with him was Monday 9th feb,what I wanted to ask was can I still use the NC Rule even though I did contact him soon after the split? I have not text him for 2 days so far is it worth continuing, any help would be super thankyou

    • admin
      February 16, 2015 | 9:54 pm

      I think he is just lashing out over his personal situation. He is kind of taking it out on you.

      • Terri
        February 17, 2015 | 11:24 am

        Thank you for the swift reply, after 6 days of NC he rang me last night, he had text once previously asking if I was ok.(I later found he had text me through viber but id blocked him) I panicked and answered, I feel bad . He said he missed me and he was still in love with me , apologised for his actions, said he was glad I answered and thought I was ignoring him (which yeah I was) i accepted his apologies and rightfully asked how he had been coping. I tried to make the conversation brisk. I am still very much in love with him but dare not tell him. At the end of the conversation he asked me to text him with what I wanted, I said he is aware how I feel its upto him to text (by now I feel like a child). ended the conversation cordially. then 16 minutes later he sent me a text saying ” sorry if you didn’t want to hear from me, I just wanted to hear your voice and know your ok. what do you do when you cant stop thinking about somebody? your mind flicks to happy memories then to feeling sick at the thought of losing them, I have been angry with you but I never ever resent you. I’m glad you don’t hate me. you deserve everything you want so the balls in your court, my actual love.” I think he is confused and lonely, but I don’t want to lose him. I did not reply. he knows I would get back with him surely? when I split up with him I was the text gnat for two days after telling him I was sorry. then I found your site and decided on NC. Do I reply or proceed. what if I make it unfixable. I’m sorry if this was so long.

        • Terri
          February 17, 2015 | 1:17 pm

          DAM . I shouldn’t of answered the phone. in turn I’ve answered my own question. going to have to go back into NC.

          • admin
            February 18, 2015 | 9:14 pm

            It’s ok, these things happen.

            • Terri
              February 20, 2015 | 2:52 pm

              oh dear he turned up on my doorstep (honestly he’s not the stalker type)I was determined to do NC again, but he said he wants to make a go of things and this was kinda unavoidable. What I wanted to ask is how I can release the scared feelings I have, I mean sure I wanted him back but I also wanted to have time for both of us to calm down. it seemed the responsible thing to do. I still hold a slight grudge from the fall out(I know I need to work on this), he must too, I really love this man, I don’t want my fears to consume me, I sound crazy. but is it too soon to jump back into the relationship? I don’t want to mess these things up. Also im finding it hard to converse with him something I have never struggled with before.

              • admin
                February 20, 2015 | 11:59 pm

                Hey now technically you got him back if he wanted to make another go of things!

                • Terri
                  February 23, 2015 | 2:59 pm

                  Thank you for all these articles, reading them really helped me realise how I can cope in a unsavoury situation. very insightful if I hadn’t come across this sight I doubt I would of got him back. Now its up to me to makes some changes for myself and my man, its a long road but its worth it .

                  again thank you

  5. Abigail
    February 1, 2015 | 1:26 pm

    Never break up with anyone who treats you and your family well. You may feel scared or frustrated,but loving someone goes so far beyond feelings. It is a decisive action people take every day. There will always be challenges, but those challenges can be overcome. The point of a relationship amd marriage are to cultivate loving characteristics in your person. God srrives with everyone willing to do as He says in their relationships. Evaluate carefully, and be wise, but do not give in to fear that a relationship won’t give you what you want. My best friend was lost because I broke up with him. God does have a plan for your lives if you are willing to follow. It is not perfection, it is to become more like Him. I broke up on the grounds that we were largley incompatible. Maybe that was true – I will never know what it would have been like now. The point is this: our job here is to love and be wise. There are always new beginnings no matter what. No matter our decisions, and even our missteps in ignorance can be used dor restoration.

    • admin
      February 2, 2015 | 2:11 pm

      Wow, very touching words Abigail!

      Thanks for sharing!

  6. Sarah
    January 29, 2015 | 1:55 pm

    Broke up with my boyfriend on Christmas Eve via text. Sounds awful, but our relationship was always surrounding him and what was convenient for him. He was supposed to let me know that day if he was coming to my family’s dinner or not since he wasn’t sure what his family was doing. He wasn’t responding to my phone calls or texts but then posted on Facebook he was at his female friends house (she’s just a friend I know her) problem was our communication has always been our main problem and this was my cracking point. I couldn’t keep bringing it up and I didn’t feel like a priority to him. We started off well, friends who biked together and had mutual friends, he kept pursuing me even after I turned him down. Only 5 mths in and he seemed to just not care anymore. He would go 3-4 days no contact, but would make plans to see me on the weekends. I just wanted a “hey how’s your day going?” during the week. When we talked about it he said he would change but he didn’t. He didn’t fight for me when I broke up with me just said I was wrong for feeling the way I did. Three days later I apologized for breaking up over text and if he wanted to work on it I wanted to. He declined and said he was over me. It’s been 34 days of no contact. During no contact I deleted fb (we have mutual friends so he was showing up partying all on my feed). However, I would notice he was still checking my snapchats, which I never looked at his, and he would catch up with me in traffic on our way to work (his work is next to mine). I miss him and I was his first gf and everyone always gave him crap bc I was “too pretty for him” I always told people they were rude but it was said a lot. I know it was something that bothered him. Idk if I should reach out to him or accept that he’s probably moved on? What’s my move now? Thanks in advance for any help!

    • Sarah
      January 29, 2015 | 2:08 pm

      33 days no contact* feels longer tho hah

      • Sarah
        February 1, 2015 | 5:31 am

        Well I got a snapchat from his best friend. It was a picture of him and his best friend with the text “boob pic?” So I went off on my ex and when I told him what his friend wrote he said “lol nice” I texted him and said” not really. If you hate me fine, but I thought that was really disrespectful and it really sucks that you’re ok with it.” Im so pissed and can’t believe he would treat me like this?!?

  7. crystal
    January 27, 2015 | 4:56 am

    Okkay I want my ex boyfriend back..I broke up with him 2 times nd I feel stupid ….but I asked him does he still have feelings for me nd he said “nope not anymore”
    During our realtionship: he’s other ex gf will talk nd flirt with him and worse they hugged and he will always ignored me but when his ex was there he will flirt with her etc.

    Why I broke up with him: I thought he was cheating on Me nd my friends will convince me he wasent worth it nd like a dumbass I will listen to them


    • admin
      January 27, 2015 | 3:06 pm

      What made you think he was cheating?

      • crystal
        January 27, 2015 | 11:55 pm

        People told me that they saw him hug his ex. Also his bestfriend told me that he would always ignore my texts nd text his ex instead..and him and his ex will walk home all the time

  8. K.A.R
    January 27, 2015 | 12:15 am

    Hi I am still in love with my ex who is the father to our 2 children (one being an angel baby) we were together just shy of 6 years and we have been separated 6-7 months now and been living apart for 4 months. I broke up with him as he wasn’t making me happy for a long while but I thought he would get better after having our 2nd baby and I left it a number of months after for incase it was my hormones, but there was no change. I never stopped really being attracted to him and we had been through so much all good and bad in those years. I thought it would be better for our little one if we were parted but it seems as though I was wrong as he isn’t there as much as he should be for our child and picks friends and some new girl over her and texts this new girl during our child’s time with him. I know it doesn’t sound great but he used to be very nice, loving and caring and it makes me feel so happy inside when I do see him bonding with our child and giving his full attention to them. I was young when I got with him (last days being 15) and he has been the only guy I’ve ever felt as though I had wanted to marry. (Sorry for the long post)

    • admin
      January 27, 2015 | 2:57 pm

      How old are the two of you now?

  9. Dee
    January 23, 2015 | 10:50 am


    My reason for breaking up with my bf is distance even though I still love him. He is my first love/first proper bf and I now attend a University located 5.5/6 hours away. When I come home I have to visit him and my family(which is a lot of people) and I find it difficult to have time for everyone as I’m only up for two nights. I am 18, he is 19. We have been together for a year and a half. I broke up with him 4 days ago and they have had to be one of the hardest couple of days ever! I started college a couple of months ago and thought we could work it out. We did for three months until he started getting friendly with girls and he is a sweet guy he wouldn’t do anything but I still was jealous and everything. I went a little crazy. Is distance a good reason?

  10. Tammy
    January 21, 2015 | 3:20 am

    I broke up with my bf after 5 yrs because , i said i wanted our relationship to move forward. he said he will never marry me or move in together. Im the only girlfriend he has ever had in his life. He is 50. He says he loves me tho. Im in nc for 18 days now on day 13 he tricked me into calling him by telling me he wanted to talk.turned out he just wanted to know what i was up to and asked if we could b friends . I told him no and not to contact me again . I havent heard from him since. So does nc work on the most stubborn man ever ? And exactly when and how do i break nc? He is a commitment phobe

    • admin
      January 21, 2015 | 3:16 pm

      It can.

      However, in the ideal situation you don’t tell him to never contact you again. You simply just enter NC without any explanation.

  11. Alex
    January 8, 2015 | 8:29 am

    We broke up because i thought he would and he is cheating on me (he denied either, so unsure). He said he can’t go on as he thinks i don’t trust him (he cheated on me once, dumped me and later apologised and wanted me back and i gave him 2nd chance).

    History: Lately he was distancing himself with me, changed phone passwords, Skyping another girl and messaging her all day. I believe he wanted to me to break up with him as one time he dumped me, I went NC for 2 weeks and he told me he wanted me back (i gave him 2nd chance) and I think he wants to see other girls.

    Out of fear of losing him, I suggested we take a break and meanwhile be ‘friends’, to which he promptly agreed. But 2 days into ‘being friends’ he already started flirting with other girls and asked me to hook him up with any girlfriends i had.

    It hurt me a lot, as i still loved him – So yesterday onwards i went NC. He messaged me ‘Hey all OK?’ and called me one time – i did not respond to either.

    I do want him back. I don’t know if he was cheating on me (as i assumed). I love him. What do i do now?? Do i continue my NC or drop him a message that ‘ I cant be friends because i still love him. But since he wanted to ended it with me and wanted to move on (see other girls) – I will honor that and let him go’.

    Please help!



    • admin
      January 19, 2015 | 3:06 pm

      Ok, what made you think he was cheating. Just the skyping and stuff?

  12. Isabella
    December 30, 2014 | 4:44 am


    Well I really had feelings for this guy and we dated for about 8 months but he also had a girl bestfriend and he hung out with her a lot and I sometimes got jealous but I didn’t let it get to me. After school he would sometimes walk home with me but other days he would say he couldn’t because he had to “stay after school” so he did that a couple of times so I decided to stay after school and see what he was up to. I found out he would hug and hold hands with his bestfriend on their way home. I got furious and brokeup with him . It was a couple of weeks and I sometimes got my mind of him but I still couldnt stop thinking about him. Then one day he came to me in tears and told me he wanted me back and he was sorry and he was foolish of what he did. So we got back together and I told him if he wanted to date again he couldn’t be friends with that girl of his. We dated for about another 3 months and I caught him kissing the girl outside. I finally had enough of it and brokeup with him for good. He was also popular and all his friends that were mine kept bugging me about it and why I brokeup with him. He kept telling everyone I would want him back but I didn’t for about a good 9 months. Maybe 2 weeks after the breakup I thought I loved someone else that was his friend. We dated for about 5 months but I realized I wasn’t into him but the guy I fell in love with before. So I brokeup with his friend and now I do not know what to say to my ex. I still love him a lot but I do not know if he will be mad at me and not want me back . What should I do

    • admin
      January 5, 2015 | 2:56 pm

      Hmm… well, are you with the new guy now or did that fall through?

    • bailey
      February 18, 2015 | 2:23 am

      its okay just tell him no trust me its the best thing to do or you will be hurt again

  13. Zoe Blake
    December 15, 2014 | 11:27 am

    Hey Chris,
    You seem to be very helpful to all these ladies, confused & filled with emotional distress, I hope you can give me an advice on my story too.
    I met the love of my life in high school, I was a junior, he was a senior.He was a very popular basketball player & whatnot & I was new in the country & at that school.He was quite the player at first & had a lot of attention from the ladies, but after dating/talking & whatnot for 6 months, I asked him to be my BF.We were together for 3 years, we were so in love, intense, adventurous, lustful, powerful love.He made a down payment on an engagement ring for my 21st bday & I lost myself in thoughts of “can I do better”, as he comes from not the most financially stable family & he himself wasn’t very good in that sense.He dropped out of college..worked in retail etc. He has big goals & talents but has yet to make any big & significant changes in his life.I on the other hand am very ambitious, graduated college, work in my field & am around eligible bachelors who would do anything to get my attention, but that’s not where my heart lies..
    after I broke up with him, I was told he was going through hell.I say hell, which sounds cliche but he was doing drugs & let’s just say not doing very well in general.
    After about 3 months a girl he had worked in retail with or whatnot, helped him out, took care of him & asked him out & they started talking etc. & I suppose she became his rebound.They dated for about 8 months.
    During the whole time we were broken up, which was a year & a half, he had contacted me on numerous occasions, asked to see me on his birthday, asked me out for coffee & a chit chat about 2/3 times etc. Oh & I had to give him back the cat he gave me as a kitten, so we met then as well.I knew he was never over me, I wasn’t over him but I had to force myself to be, for my future standing & my mother’s approval or whatnot.
    Then, our cats had kittens together & he invited me over to see them..
    I went to see them about twice & he broke down crying to me..telling me how he never stopped loving me, how every time he’s with her he wishes it was he wants me to be his again…he tried to kiss me, I refused, then I went back again, something just kept pulling me back & we finally kissed, amongst other things & after a few outings together, we, well, you know.
    I told him I couldn’t do this blah blah blah & I told him that I want to see him again but she has to be out of the picture.He broke up with her & told her that he’ll be seeing me.
    For about 3 months we were dating, going out etc. I slept with him on numerous occasions & soon, I found out that he was not only just seeing her, but sleeping with her as well.
    I tried killing him :)
    Either way, many dramatic events after he begged me to call it even for breaking up with him & left her for me.
    I am in love with him, I always have been.
    I did date & hook up with other men while I wasn’t with him, I mean a year and a half is a long time, he has a very, very, very difficult time with accepting that but insists that what he did to me was my fault, says that if I never broke up with him, he would have never even been with that person, let alone sleep with me & her at the same time.
    He has told her that he is in love with me, in front of me, he has kicked her out of his house in front of me, he has even mildly, physically assaulted her in front of me when she tried to hurt me…
    It has been almost 2 months since the nightmare has ended, I have tried to explain to him that if he can’t move on with me from all the pain we have caused to each other, then we should each move on separately.He promised to leave the past in the past & move on.
    He has done none of that.
    He is very bipolar, constantly brings up the past & blames me for everything…he has made my daily life a nightmare.He asked me to carry his baggage & he would carry mine…regardless of all the things he did to me, all the lies & the “cheating” I have been very cool calm & collected, positive & generous.He has done nothing but be negative.
    I could go on & on pouring specific details about this, but I need some feedback on this so far…I am very confused as to how to help the situation.
    I love him & I know he loves me, but in a way, we both hate each other..
    Its the most bizarre feeling there is.
    If you have any advice, Chris, please, spill.
    Thank uou.

  14. felicia
    December 4, 2014 | 9:50 pm

    So say you stopped seeing each other, and he doesnt know why. You just up and left one day, after trying to get ahold of him to tell him you needed space. Tried to get him once when you were very desperate one night, failed and now is texting him with somewhat positive/neutral results. Should you explain to him why you gave up so that we can progress and he isnt so suspicious of me or what? I feel the need to, but then people say to not bring up negative memories, BUT i dont want him to think im a bitch :\

    • admin
      December 8, 2014 | 12:29 pm

      Before we get into that may I ask why you left him? What made you want to leave?

      • felicia
        December 8, 2014 | 11:09 pm

        it’s a little embarrassing lol. In summary, i lost my virginity to him (i was uneducated on sex, i come from a religious family and was homeschooled) we didn’t use protection the few times we did. I got a uti, went to get it checked out/do a few tests at the doctor and they told me i could possibly have an std or it just a really bad uti. They also told me to tell him asap even though it was just a possibility. So i flipped out, my emotions were all over the place and before i got the test results back i just came clean to my mom and told her everything because i was so scared. She threatened to kick me out so that was her way of saying you need to end this right now. Test came back, no stds, we were both relieved though we knew that wasnt the case because he told me he has been safe and i believed him. I knew i just needed some time to get my shit together and work on myself, I wanted to be mature about it and not tell him over the phone but everytime i tried to get together with him he was “busy.” I figured he lost attraction to me because i had been needy and emotional the last 2 weeks. I deleted him off of fb so i could just get over him and then i regretted it and tried to get him back (in a way i sorta begged — huge mistake). Ever since i’ve been using your website and worked out all the problems in my life. now i have been getting short, but neutral replies from him. So the reason why i left was because i was manipulated into not seeing him anymore and just high emotions.

        • admin
          December 9, 2014 | 1:28 pm


          Well, that must have been a very scary situation to go through. I am sorry you had to endure that but things are getting better.

          You probably need to find a way to engage him on a deeper level so you can get some more positive responses from him.

  15. Feelingblue
    October 9, 2014 | 9:18 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend of four years one month ago. During our conversation, (not angry one)he said that we would talk in a month, but not to expect him to come begging me back, that he had too much pride. We are long distance, but have spent months together back and forth. I know guys don’t like the phone and Skype like girls. He said the only problem we had was the distance, and I agree. But, I just broke down because we would talk for a few minutes here and there. I feel like part of me was unreasonable, but I told him kindly several times that I needed to talk a little more and that I was hurting. He really didn’t make a change. The distance got to me and I broke up. I think he is waiting to see if I will call, because I am always the one to call back. But, I haven’t. He has made it very clear to me and others over the last four years that “I am the woman of his life.” I was planning to move to him next March. we have waited this long together.
    Today I am feeling weak and want to call or text him. but to say what? Will he then say I was just playing a game? Will he be angry? My brain and heart are arguing. I agree that the man should be the one, because I am not masculine and a man needs to respect a woman to love her. And he respects me, he was just growing weary of the distance, like me.
    Should I call, or continue to wait?

    • admin
      October 13, 2014 | 3:14 pm


      May I ask you why you wanted to break up with him?

      • Feelingblue
        October 13, 2014 | 8:52 pm

        I had spoken nicely about how I felt disconnected and he agreed and said it was the distance and we would work on it. he would for a couple of days and then trail off again. I just panicked I guess because we are not communicating the way we used to. I did call him this past Friday. He was kind and then mean and kind again. He said he was glad I called, but that he would never have called me again after I broke up with him. I understand, I mean I did break up. I told him that lack of talking, distance, etc. caused me to panic. He said we should talk again. He hasn’t called. We have never (in five years) gone a month and a week without talking. I don’t think he took me serious. He has a lot of pride.

        Now what to do? Start over NC????

        I appreciate you listening to me and everyone else here!


  16. Lela Bones
    October 8, 2014 | 2:10 am

    So i was a sophomore in high school when i first started dating my ex. I will admit I am not good at relationships. A little after a month later I broke up with him. This was because it was summer and we never saw each other and the one time we did he did something stupid and I got mad at him. Looking back is was REALLY stupid for me to be mad at him. Then a month later I started talking to a guy who happened to be his best friend…and my ex didnt talk to me the rest of the summer. When school started up again this year i was still dating his friend. About a month ago I broke up with his friend because he kind of happened to be a jerk. I went an entire month ok, but all of a sudden today, sitting at lunch next to my ex i realized how much i really miss him and how stupid i was for breaking up with him. I think I blew any chance i may have had with him, but maybe not. HELP!!! I know I am only in high school and stuff, but i made a big mistake. I also think i was a little afraid of actually falling for him, so i tried to distract myself with other guys, which i am never doing again. But yeah, i messed up and was wondering if it was salvageable or not.

    • admin
      October 8, 2014 | 1:08 pm

      You just sitting next to him made you think that?

      • Lela Bones
        October 8, 2014 | 10:01 pm

        well i mean actually goofing around with him at lunch and being flirty…today someone asked my best friend if we got back together. she said idk, He said are they going to. She said idk. What if someone asks me that? i couldnt say no or yes… but yeah i with out a doubt miss him.

  17. angel
    October 7, 2014 | 8:44 pm

    Hey chris,
    I broke up with my boyfriend after being with him for a year the thing is im 19 and he is 37 now his age doesn’t bother me but in the last 3 months of our relationship we kept arguing I got tired of it one day my cousin had my phone I didn’t know he had texted me but my cousin did he responded to him like it was me and broke up with him saying he was too old and everything now mind u I was hurt after our last argument so I wasn’t really talking to him at the time..i was going through some stressfull times and it was right after our anniversary I was also feeling scared because ive been hurt in the past and I just didn’t want to be hurt again….so after we broke up an old flame came in my life 3-4 days later things heated up and we ended up engaged but I still had these strong feelings for my ex I mean I was deeply in love with him and I know he was deeply in love with me…I found out this old flame was using me I broke it off…I didn’t think I wanted to go baack to my ex I just wanted to be friends for awhile but I jus couldn’t get him out of my head…we are currently trying to figure out what to do but im afraid im going to lose him permenantly he’s so afraid of his age and afraid im going to hurt him again and ive tried to explain everything but he is still doubting but he says he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me either…the thing is I can’t just be friends with him and be happy with someone else when I am stil completely in love with him…being with the old flame made me realize im afraid to let people love me but it also made me realize all I want is my ex and im ready to goto battle for him no matter how long it take…I keep thinking back to when he hurt me I let him back in although it was hard for me and we made it through a lot of things and he has helped me in a lot of ways please I need some advise on what to do

    • admin
      October 8, 2014 | 12:59 pm

      37 and 19…. That’s a bit of an age discrepancy.

      You broke up with him correct?

  18. Michelle
    October 6, 2014 | 11:34 pm

    I just Broke up with my ex like 3 weeks ago. I wouldn’t say our relationship was horrible but one thing I didn’t like was not much communication. We would go a few days with out talking unless I texted, then after a while I stop doing that and seemed to get more texts from him. And when we first started dating we would go a week and not talk but I had expressed that I didn’t like that and things changed a little. When we first started dating I told him I don’t really want to be in a relationship but he really wanted to make us official and said I love you first and wasn’t bothered that I wasn’t there yet but when I did is did seem like we was in love.
    See I had broke up with him because I was told he had been hanging out wit his ex,which was true, that really didn’t bother me to bad. What made me call quits was he was with her and another friend of theirs for my birthday and had told me where he was going to be out of town for buiness but lied about little parts of those days and who he was with. I wouldn’t have broken up with him if he had just told me that. Also I had come to find out he had told the girl he loved her sometime during our relationship. So after I texted him about calling it quits he just replied which was like the next day something like is that my real feelings regarding my text. And we haven’t talked since, I’m just not sure how to go about it I really care about him and he would tell me all the time he loves me and I began to love him too but that what has my mind bottled is with all that we still haven’t talked I haven’t contacted him nor him me, just him liking my Facebook post. I do still love him and think he might feel the same, I would like to see if I should take the step even if we just became friends again, I miss him.

    • admin
      October 7, 2014 | 1:52 pm

      Yes, I think the communication thing would annoy me as well.

      Is he just like that in general though?

      • Michelle
        October 10, 2014 | 5:20 am

        Yes its seems to be the way he is. When we made things official communication became more. And he recently messaged me saying he miss me i told i do as well but he made it that way to miss me because he hasnt contacted me his excuse was that he dont have his phone any more, but im thinking just like he messaged me he could have been done that. Then he goes to say he’s empty without me. So i asked what’s on he’s mind and got no response after. Now I’m just confused on what the point was to contact me.

  19. Jessica
    September 5, 2014 | 10:33 pm

    So I know I must sound really desperate, but I just broke up with my boyfriend today and I’m already depressed. I am in love with him but he is studying abroad and he never has time to talk to me. We’ve barely spoken in the last two weeks and I’ve made it clear to him today that I can’t handle a relationship like that because Its just getting me depressed. I’m also going to start school soon and hes going to become even busier as well and we just don’t have any time for each other anymore but were still in love. Lately all we’ve done is fight because im unable to handle his schedule. How do you reckon I get over him?

    • admin
      September 15, 2014 | 2:37 pm

      First thing you need to do is implement the no contact rule.

  20. Rachel
    September 4, 2014 | 7:35 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend about three months ago. I thought that my feelings for him had changed, but now I find myself just thinking about him all the time. He was a fantastic and caring boyfriend, I can’t believe I hurt him so bad. Well I’ve talked to him about everything and he doesn’t trust me anymore. I don’t know how to try and get back together when he doesn’t believe a word I say. I still love him and I know he misses me too.. I don’t know how to fix everything.

    • admin
      September 5, 2014 | 12:25 pm

      Lets dive in to why you thought your feelings changed?

      What happened to make you feel that?

  21. Missy
    September 1, 2014 | 6:33 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend who i loved and thought about on daily basis. we met when I was 18 he was a little younger than me at that time we eventually parted ways.Well about 5 years ago we found each other and I ended up moving to where he lived. I had 2 teens and he had a 3 yr old at that time. Things went good up until about 3 years ago things between us fell apart our differences got in the way causing heated discussions and I blamed him for everything and didn’t look at myself as part of the problem and left him and moved in town in the city we live in. I have tried to keep in contact with him, most of the time he wanted me to come over and we always had sex when I did. Recently he texted me and said he started seeing someone else bur we had a talk before that if he did start seeing someone it will be short and that I will always be apart of his and his daughgter’s lives. She still calls me mom after our break up and friends with benefits thing. Now he is seeing someone else and I can’t stop thinking about him I love him and miss terribly I cannot see myself without him in my life.. I desparately want him back. I know I broke it off with him But I cry every night with regrets and I am angry at myself if only I communicated better instead of not listening to what he was actually saying how we need to come to a happy medium about our differences. How can I get him to look at me the way he used to with Love and Happiness, instead of disappointment and anger and sadness and still asking me why and that I really broke his heart

    • admin
      September 2, 2014 | 12:32 pm

      By becoming the ungettable girl!

  22. Reyanna
    July 8, 2014 | 3:12 am

    My boyfriend and i broke up because he cheated on me with my cousin but i miss him i still love him i feel like im nothing without him i just feel like i need a guy to make me feel like im worth something i want him back i dont know how to get him back i cant i want him back but no use in trying.

    • admin
      July 8, 2014 | 2:37 pm

      With your cousin?

      You can’t be serious?????

  23. Shan
    July 4, 2014 | 7:52 pm

    By the way, I should add that my ex is a very insecure person.

    His last long term relationship before me was about 20 years ago!

    All his friends said he was never interested in anyone in the 9 to 12 years they had known him.

    His fingernails are so bitten theres hardly any nail there!

    • admin
      July 7, 2014 | 5:52 pm

      Def sensing a commitment phobe now that you said the 20 years thing.

      • Shan
        July 10, 2014 | 5:09 pm

        Yea I think so, although I reckon he would have kept plodding along as long as there was no “hassle”. I had a “look” from him the other day when he passed me at work, kinda of half annoyed, half “thanks a lot”. Well at least he looked at me :(.
        I just dont know what to do. Its so hard for it to be like this after what he had together. We were best friends and barely apart :((.
        He wanted us to be friends but I said it couldnt work.

  24. Shan
    July 4, 2014 | 7:46 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I had a “out with it” talk with my ex last night, finally.

    He is STILL angry about our breakup (initiated by me.. and then he refused to work things out), but I also think he makes excuses.

    I broke it off 3 months ago, because of a misunderstanding. I was not very well at the time, and he had promised to do something for me which he didnt do. He admitted he had lied when he agreed to do that thing for me….. And feeling as low and unwell as I was, I told him to go screw himself. It was our first argument… ! After nearly 9 months of getting on really great bar those last 2 weeks where actually we still got on well, those 2 weeks I was just down due to external factors which got resolved.

    Thing is, he knew that I had a medical condition before we met and that it could flare up. This is what happened. And he walked out on me, when I needed him most.

    We have had several talks since our breakup, and he told me that he accepted that I was not well at the time, and that it wasnt my fault. I thought that he had accepted that I was truly sorry, and understood the reasons why it all happened. He also knows that things have changed for me since, in a big way. I dont allow my medical condition to rule my life, and its become a minor irritation now. Im living my life to the full again. However, despite his mixed messages since our breakup about whether or not he wants to work it out, he never told me why we couldnt work it out, and since we broke up he has treated me sometimes like dirt.

    I had already told him that being “friends” wont work. I went no contact on him started 2 weeks ago I broke it by emailing him, then started again and then he broke it by following me and starting a conversation. EAch time I would get upset after. Because he was acting like nothing happened between us. So I decided yesterday enough was enough and turned up at his apartment to have it out with him.

    Hell, he is a difficult and impossible person. You know the kind who want to argue over every word you say. Even argue over what was said in our only argument?

    Anyway when I said I had decided it was best not to have contact with him anymore (which I said was in the last week… ie after the stupid email I sent!)… because I felt he had not treated me very well, he got very defensive and angry and started talking about the way I had broke up with him. He kept pointing it out that “I was the one who had sent him away and told him to go be single”… because he wouldnt do blah blah. and that I was demanding this and that, I honestly thought he was over these things, but obviously not!

    He told me that he wanted to be with someone “as laid back as him”…. he just wants an easy life. He doesnt want a woman who is demanding (I asked him to do ONE thing! which meant something to me at that time), he doesnt want any negativity or problems… yea thats realistic!

    Chris this is a guy with a whole list of faults! He is a long term bachelor sleeps next to a bicycle, who cant chop an onion or paint a wall! Despite all this I stayed with him, and he wants someone “more laid back..”?

    When I FINALLY got it out of him why he thought it couldnt work, he said he just saw that the negativity and being demanding would never end… although there were only 2 weeks of it.
    He went on to say that by turning up at his apartment and demanding answers I was proving that I hadnt changed!

    Well I think after all the hard work I had done in accepting blame and making changes in my life, I deserved to know. He also needed to hear how walking out on me when I needed him, had affected me. Walking out on anyone in those circumstances is not nice. I think he got the message..

    Anyway, I decided that I dont want to have anything more to do with him. He isnt being nice at the moment. He cant seem to recall all the nice and positive things we did. He just wants to focus on the 2 negative weeks…But he generally focuses on peoples bad points anyway.

    I think he is a commitment phobe!

    Im going off the radar. I told him I wasnt interested in knowing him, if this is the way he is with people.

    Chris, I loved this guy with all of my heart. Hell we were happy. very happy until something went wrong!

    What do you think will happen ?

    Will he think about what I said ?

    Will time soften him up and make him realise what a fool he is ?

    • admin
      July 7, 2014 | 5:52 pm

      Do you think he is hung up about this medical condition too?

  25. Tasha
    June 9, 2014 | 11:48 am

    Hi Chris, I broke up with my ex 6 months ago, after a very dramatic fight. Our relationship was serious and lasted five years. The last few years we faced financial hardships that made us fight a lot and our lives gradually drift apart. I eventually found someone new. Thought moving on was the right thing to do. My ex was devastated.. I left a wreck behind. Cruel words were initially said. Although he managed to move on and found someone new, he did forgive me telling me I’ll always be the one for him. He always cared and contacted me from time to time. I had feelings of remorse and true love for him the whole time, which kept me from really moving. After some life changing events I decided to break up with the other guy. He did nothing wrong, however there is no one else I wanna be but my ex. He knows I want him back (it’s been almost 1,5 weeks). He also wants to return he said though we’ll need our time to ‘heal’. I proved him how sorry and changed I am. He was there for me when I recently faced a health problem. The thing is he doesn’t know how to break up with this new g/f as she’s only been good to him, he has feelings for her he says and doesn’t wanna hurt her. He is an extremely sensitive guy. She herself is extremely hurt since she always knew he had strong feelings for me (and lately proved it). Besides, he told her once she met her that I was the love of his life. He needs time to work things out he said but it seems he can’t keep himself from calling me every few days (so far at least) to see if I am ok and express how terrible he feels being in this position. This is nerve wrecking. How long should I have to wait? Will he ever find the courage to let go of her? I only expect the worse. Any advice will be appreciated.

    • admin
      June 9, 2014 | 3:35 pm

      How long has he been with her?

      • Tasha
        June 9, 2014 | 6:58 pm

        4 months or so…during those months he kept telling to my family members (he kept contact) that she didn’t mean anything to him, being with her was just a reaction to what happened, that he loved me etc…and everytime he called me or referred to me it was as if nothing had changed (including the different names we used between us that showed intimacy)..

  26. Michelle
    May 13, 2014 | 6:29 am

    I am in AGONY because I am no longer with my ex but I closed the doors on him out of differences and hoping
    for a greener pasture on the other side! IT was VERY
    Bright Green, but turned brown just as quickly! I left my good man in VAIN! HOW May I get him BACK???!!!
    We Shared 5 great growing years together, he still takes good care of me if I need anything and still gives me a car to use since I lost mine last year. He is a VERY hard working man who has a lot on his plate like myself! It’s been 5 months I have no desire for any other man and already past 40 and Time is short!
    That is what started it, but I did the damage, but wish I could take time back and never wrote that
    sweet good bye poem! He is much nicer to me now too!
    He also has a big 50 b day coming up! I want to throw him a party at the park with all his friends because he
    has come so far and just few folks know his bday, I showed this man a way to bear fruit, I am proud of all his accomplishments since his dream was realized!
    He just didn’t want stress or chaos in his life, that would be me, but he is a type a personality and I have adhd! We also still have each others house keys. All I can think of is improve my work and hope he comes back, he really isn’t marketable so I am not concerned
    he has a g/f but I wasn’t sure if Aug be too soon and afraid of the answer or if need more time to prove to him I am real!
    I was thinking of writing and even stronger love return poem, to give my apologies and desire. The sad thing is he picked me up, and i never wanted to date him, now I had him leave on his how b/c the poem and I want him back in the worse way, he really grew on me
    very quickly, so much like my grandfather too, business first! I NEVER wanted to let him go, but I did!!!! WTF? OMG! I just want to die! I want him by my side! I hope I can focus on work and improve my
    quality of life it seems so impossible when I can’t see his or touch his face or hand every day! What did I do!????? I am so screwed! I finally see the LIGHT,
    but I am on the other side! UGH! Why I read that POEM!

    • admin
      May 13, 2014 | 5:37 pm

      Have you followed any of the advice on this site?

  27. cheche
    April 23, 2014 | 1:18 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I have been dating this guy for over a year now and like a typical couple, we argue usually over text and its becoming more frequent like every week instigated by me. He broke up with me last October because he found out and read most of my personal messages to my guy friend. There was a little flirting but nothing serious. After 2 weeks of NC, he came to me and wanted us back together. After that everything was fine until we had these fights and he usually keep on mentioning what happened during our last breakup. The past couple of weeks have been tough for me. Usually when I have my period I have this irritable and erratic mood. So we had an argument over a text for the reason that I was tired of him not texting me almost every night. His reasons were he was busy with his kids (he has two kids from his previous marriage). He has custody of them for the summer. Anyway, we argue but he told me he dont want us to fight and we made up. Then after a week, I got angry again for no apparent reason and he told me hes tired of my attitude and my way of thinking. But we made up a day after. But this week, was the last falling out. He was out with his family last Easter Sunday and I was out with my family 3 hours away from him. He texted me five times and I didn’t get to reply cause I was having a stomach flu. I got diarrhea along with vomiting. When he texted me again thats when I told him I havent been feeling really well and I have diarrhea and vomiting as well. Then suddenly, he texted me this “When did that start? Can I ask you something?” Then he called me up and asked me if I have gotten my period. I’m 30 and hes 31. I told him don’t worry cause Im not pregnant. I asked him why are you scared of me getting pregnant? And he told me he sucks at being a dad to his kids and he doesnt want to suck with another child more. I was heartbroken and I cried with his answers. After a few hours I texted him I wanted to end our relationship for the mere reason that I want someone who wants to have children with me. He didnt answer me back.
    After three days, I kinda missed him so I texted him and told him I was wrong and Im sorry and I wanted us back together and that Im going to his city today and was hoping I could see him. I still havent got a reply from him.

    What does this all mean? Am i going to assume that this is his way of telling me to leave him alone and move on? Are we really done for sure? How should I know if were done if he isnt talking to me? Ive been crying for days now. Please help.

  28. Jenna
    April 23, 2014 | 3:25 am

    So I broke up with my boyfriend about 9 months ago because I was leaving for college and felt like I was to young to settle down. I haven’t met anyone I like better and realize that I made a terrible mistake. I’ve been trying to contact him and establish our relationship to the way it was before I broke up with him, but I don’t know how to do that. I’ve sent text messages, tried calling him, and done other things to tell him I’m sorry, but nothing seems to work. I’m afraid he might be interested in other girl. I really have no idea how to approach this anymore. Please help!

  29. Victoria
    April 15, 2014 | 9:06 pm

    At this time I broke up w my boyfr because before that he always used to break up w me and at this time I gave up and Left because I realize there is no future and he lied to me over and over again! He was shocked when I left and he couldn’t believe it and now its a month pass by he is asking around about me but still hasn’t contact me. Should i still wait for him to call me and how long more I should wait?

  30. Candace
    April 14, 2014 | 11:55 am

    After 4 months of dating my younger bf I broke with him because stop spending time with me. Even after I told him that I wanted to spend more time. Needless to say I regret it the moment I did it. He says he loves me but feels like he can’t make me happy but I want him back and don’t know how to get him back. Help! Plz!

  31. Claudia
    April 11, 2014 | 3:09 pm

    Hello Chris, it’s been two weeks since I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and 9 months. We had a beautiful relationship, we had crazy chemistry and such a wonderful bond. We both have nothing bad to say about eachother because we truly had something special and out breakup was good it wasn’t nasty. The reason why I decided to break up with him was because I wasn’t really happy anymore because I felt unloved and insecure from his lack of affection. At the beginning of our relationship he was so passionate about making me feel special, however when we turned 2 years he just stopped being as affectionate as he was before and that made me very insecure and we would constantly fight about it. I tried everything to try and fix our relationship and stop all the arguing but he just didn’t put the same effort as I did. I got tired of giving and giving and receiving nothing. He always told me that he loved me and cared about me but his actions didn’t show that. When I broke up with him he didn’t try fixing things he just agreed that we should break up because he said he was tired of being the reason for my misery and he just wanted me to be happy. Deep down I wanted him to fight for me and try to win me back but he hasn’t tried reaching out to me and neither have I because I’m not the type to beg a man. It’s such a shame to have ended a relationship with so much potential. I’m really scared that he’s not going to contact me again just because he wants me to be happy but I really really want him to come back. My question is do you think there’s a good possibility that he will come back and want to work on our relationship? I know it’s only been two weeks and I’ve been really patient and will continue to do so but I just want to be with him more than anything.

    • admin
      April 12, 2014 | 3:53 pm

      If he feels that he can’t find anyone better than you then the possibility of him coming back is very good.

  32. Hugo
    April 10, 2014 | 9:02 pm

    I’m having a problem it’s kinda big.. Well I was in a relationship with a guy 3 years back and we broke up ( no reason actually, I broke up with him T_T ) and I never dated anyone after.. We didn’t keep in touch for a year or so and now we’ve been keeping in touch for almost two years he is still very good to me and knowing that I broke up with him makes me mad and also I know I would never find another man like him I want him I want to tell him that I love him and that I’m sincerely sorry that I had broken his heart but it’s very tough and idk if he actually will want me back .. Could you please help me?
    He is coming to see me next month and I want to confess when we meet not over the phone but I’m scared and I’m not sure what I should say how I should bring up the topic bout getting back with him … He makes me happy and always makes me feel special even now even if he doesn’t want me back I just want him to know how I feel for him so what do you suggest I should say and when? Please help (T ^ T)

  33. Zen Antonette L. Vicente
    April 6, 2014 | 12:24 pm

    Hello. I really wanted my boyfriend back. Well, we are in a long distance relationship, and i never meet him like NEVER, but i fall for him hard. We exchange messages and i got him sometimes a gift but ofcourse he needs to get it from a shipping company where i sent it and ive got nothing in return. Were like 2yrs. I love him sooo sooo much. That i would give him everything he wanted. But there is something telling me at the back of my head that maybe if i broke up with him maybe he’ll come running after me and see what’s my worth because in the past months he’ll always wish for money etc. and my friends told me that im being a sugar mama but i love him and i want them to prove that they are wrong, but i guess they are right because after i broke up with him he just like OKAY, like it was alright with him. But despite of all i want him back. I miss him soo much that i cry myself to sleep. I regret of breaking up with him even if he’s like that. There are soo many reasons i should break up with him and not love him but still there are reasons im head over heels about him. Plss help me. I don’t know what to do. Should i get back to him?? But if not, i cant live without him

  34. Pooja Khanna
    April 4, 2014 | 4:35 pm

    Hey, i broke up with my guy a week ago! He was being disrespectfull, and was acting poor to me. He would’nt do that intially when the relationship started. I had broken up with him 2 times, just the very next day but he come back to me this time! Ive done alot for him. Im not even able to forget him, i still love him and still believe things can get better. What do i do? I dont want to be a retard going back and making him feel that see this women can not live without me, i want to get back to him with him realising my worth. Help me!

  35. Hannah
    April 1, 2014 | 1:04 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend of a few months a couple days ago. This sounds terrible, but his mom had cancer and recently died. For the past month of our relationship, however, he was treating me pretty poorly. He would feel like he had to text me rather than actually wanting to and would never want to hang out with me. I just felt like he should have wanted to. I honestly think things could go back to the way they were before, when they were practically perfect. This is the reason I want to get back together with him. I told him I still wanted to be there for him and he can talk whenever he wants, but he hasn’t taken that offer. I want to keep up communication with him but I don’t want to bug him. So I don’t really know how to handle this situation.

    • admin
      April 1, 2014 | 5:01 pm

      Well, realize if his mom died… that probably messed with his head a little bit.

  36. Melissa
    March 24, 2014 | 5:07 am

    Hi Chris I really need your help. I broke up with my ex boyfriend over 8 months ago end of July. My friend was tragically murdered, I was failing out of a top university, struggling financially, working 3 jobs and I broke up with him because we had small problems yet I didn’t know what to do and still stressful. After I lost my friend I was a mess I couldn’t think, sleep, had nighmares, etc. I broke up with him because I had to focus on myself and I thought being with him was too much for me at the time and I couldn’t handle a relationship. We stayed really good friends because well he was always like my best friend, so we still hung out a lot. He said it would be easier for him to still see me after and I agreed and we got so much closer as friends. Of course it was hard at first for both of us but more for him. Long story short recently I told him end of January 2014 out of respect I started dating someone but ofcourse didn’t even work out because I’m a commitment phobe. Then I saw a picture of him kissing a girl(which she posted on his profile) and it brought back so many emotions. I came to the realization I can’t see him with anyone but me. He’s my best friend and we’re suppose to get married and have kids like we planned. I realized all the stupid mistakes I made in our relationship and realized he treated me like a princess and instead of thinking about all his flaws all the time I should have just accepted them like he accepted my many. Now I’m a mess. I poured my heart out to him face to face because yhey are still seeing each other so it’s early but he said he just started something with this girl and wasn’t just going to leave her. I know this man loves me with all his heart and waited months and months after we broke up so I have hope but very little because I was his first love and broke his heart bad. I know he has love for me but not in love with me anymore. I need some advice. He puts his all into a relationship and I’m afraid he will with this one and I can’t loose him. Hes going to be 25 and she’s 20 with a kid so hoping her immaturity and having a kid will work in my favor but I don’t know. He was the best, most loving, forgiving person I know and I can’t loose him. He’s my soulmate and sadly it took seeing him with someone else to wake me up. Please I need advice.

  37. ritu
    March 19, 2014 | 5:27 pm

    Hey chris,

    I m having difficulties in my relation frm very long time. But somehow i was managing. He doesnt seem to care abt me. Very disrespectful. He cancels every plan i make to meet or to go out. He doesnt apologize and starts talking normally after he hurts me. He hurts and insults me almost daily.
    Yesterday it happened agn. I was hurt deeply. I ignored his every call. Now he msgd me dat he is not well, having fever. I called up, he started talking normally, doesnt apologize for his yesterday’s behavior. I said i cant tolerate ur behaviour any longer, u r hurting me daily. He said ok and disconnected.
    He just doesnt care abt me. R u seeing any possibilty dat he will come back to me and apologize for his behaviour if i go nc? Plz advice.

    • admin
      March 20, 2014 | 5:55 pm

      There is always a possibility but it’s really up to you to decide how good your chances are.

      • NM
        December 12, 2014 | 4:48 am

        Re the post above thisis the biggest problem i have.
        That he wont even Acknowledge he’s been rude, that he behaved badly , or hurt me, forget about apologising. He just pretends nothing happened and then wonders why I’m angry all the time.
        If you break off a conversation n say you will call back, not once but hundreds of times, instead just disappear till the next time, is it wrong on my part to expect that he atleast ‘mentions’ he was to call me back but something got in the way? And the same when he has been rude, hurtful?
        Does he not ‘know’ he hurt me , to pretend as if nothing happened?
        For eg he will plan a night out with friends but ‘forget’ to tell me, instead just disappear, n if i try calling him, he keeps disconnecting, later claiming there was too much noise, when for all I know he could be with anothe girl?
        Is that not the height of selfish self-centred behaviour?
        Btw this is 56/28
        Would love to hear your take on this.

  38. Danzz
    March 18, 2014 | 1:31 am

    Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 1/2 year. We were in a LDR for 8 months of the relationship and coming down to rhe last 3 months he bega. Arguing with over every little thing. Then I cut my hair really short to grow it back healthy and he said he wasnt attracted to me anymore last week when I did it. Then we barely talked for the next few days and he said he was uncomfortable calling me “babe or baby” anymore. He’s been being very distany and very hurtful for the last few konths and I couldn’t take it and I broke up with him… but I want him back, not having him in my life is worst than our arguments. I really love him. More than anything. I’m visiting June 1st 2014. What should I do?

  39. Lourd
    March 12, 2014 | 9:36 pm

    My ex partner and I broke up almost 2 years ago. We broke up because his family againsts me we lived together for 3years. After 3months we broke up, him and his exGF gt back together. He attempt many times to talked with me even if he already has a gf but I always stay away or not to talk to him. Despite of what happened his communication on our child wasn’t end. We start texting last Valentine’s day and then one day I was suprise when he said that he wants me to visit him with our child and planning to have an out of town on our child’s birthday. I asked him why or what’s the reason why he attempts many times to communicate with me even if I drove him away he just said that he don’t have bad intentions nor make a fight with me. I can feel that’s not the real reason. I still love him and I really want to win him back.

  40. red
    March 3, 2014 | 6:38 pm

    dating for 2 years, got into a fight. i broke up with him, and tried to take it back asking if we could work it out. he never really committed to wanting to fix things, so a couple days after the fight i thought he was just stringing me along and i started nc… 4 days into nc i wrote back to a text. did i mess it up? he replied angrily about me being MIA. i told him i needed time. he responded with one word and i haven’t heard from him.

    • admin
      March 4, 2014 | 3:08 am

      Well, stick to NC it is still pretty darn early.

  41. Olivia
    March 2, 2014 | 7:56 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend because I was told he was cheating on me. Take in mind we had a long distance relationship and we’re still in high school, we been together for 8 months now and basically someone told me he was kissing on other girls and doing other stuff and instead of talking to my boyfriend about it, I believed the other person. When it came to brake up with him, all he said was “umkay”.

    • admin
      March 3, 2014 | 6:17 pm

      Have you read my LDR page yet?

  42. Jewell
    February 24, 2014 | 8:46 pm

    I need some major help , I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago because his ex wouldn’t leave us alone , he hates his ex but they have 2 years together and me and him wasn’t together long . he doesn’t want anything to do with me now and it`s killing me inside I fell inlove with him . how can I get him back , any and all advise is welcome !

  43. Erin
    February 22, 2014 | 10:00 am

    Last week I broke up with my boyfriend because everyone was telling me he is a player (at first I ignored it) then they were telling me that soon he will break up with me, so to save myself the pain I stupidly broke up with him. I dont get it because when I broke up with him he was really sad and angry he said ‘to me you are perfect, no one can ever replace you, I’m never getting a girlfriend again’ he was talking about commiting suicide just because I broke up with him! Later that week I found out he had been slitting his wrists cuz I broke up with him. Anyway the day after the break up he got a new girlfriend. Recently he’s been pissed off because his Girlfriend never talks to him, they’ve been out for just over a week and they don’t show any signs of breaking up, I love him so much! I’ve told him but every time I do he just ignores me, Ive tried face to face telling him as well but he doesn’t seem to care! My friends are telling me its because he loves me too but I doubt that. Anyway what do I do to get back with him??

    • admin
      February 22, 2014 | 6:49 pm

      You broke up with him b/c other ppl advised you to?

  44. Makayla
    February 20, 2014 | 8:50 pm

    Hi,My name is Makayla and i’m having some difficulties with relationships… I broke up with my long distance boyfriend because I thought that he deserved better then me…I had also heard rumors that he was cheating on me…I still love him with all of my heart and i want to get him back but i don’t know how it would work since it would still be long distance. Can you help me??

    • admin
      February 21, 2014 | 6:08 pm

      You should read my LDR guide.

  45. Dianna
    February 8, 2014 | 2:06 am

    Hello Chris,
    I desperately need your help. Last week I broke up with my boyfriend. It was for stupid reasons I guess you can say. I was honestly just insecure and didn’t want to get my heart broken so I broke up with him first. Now I feel terrible because I really do love him and I want him back. Please help me!

  46. Rachel
    February 2, 2014 | 1:34 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I love your website! You have a great writing style that is very relatable and easy to understand. I’ve read all your articles so far. I would love to get your e-book but my credit card doesn’t work on your web store (I live overseas, so maybe it’s a currency conversion thing.)
    Anyway, I just have a quick question.
    I broke up with my ex after a fight. It was a rash decision on my part, but what is done is done.
    Does the nature of the texts a woman sends change if she broke up with him? By default, am I “ungettable” because I did the dumping? Most of this advice seems to be geared toward women who got dumped, so I’m not sure if the steps are the same if the woman was the dumper.
    I did NC for over a month, worked on myself, then sent a first-contact text. His reply was “I’m really sorry. Meeting you was a treasure. I’m sorry.”
    I responded briefly and positively that it was nice to hear from him, and that I hoped we could talk again.
    A week later I sent him a funny youtube video saying it made me think of him. His response was prompt, positive but a bit neutral. I kept the conversation short, positive and ended it first.
    I’m giving it time, but I’m a bit nervous as to my next moves. Should I move on to the “best of the relationship,” or just keep it light? I’m tempted to just ask him to meet face to face now, after that apology.
    Any advice would be appreciated.
    Thank you.

  47. vicky
    January 30, 2014 | 12:33 am

    i had a guy and 3 months when we began his ex girl showed up beggin to come back to him,he was confused because both parents were also asking him to reconcile with da lady,he ask me for some time to fix things,i did that but one day i over haered a lady’s voice in his kitchen so i broke up with him,he was very hurt and angry with me that day,am scared i might loose him i still luv him madly.pls help me

  48. Nay
    January 29, 2014 | 3:02 pm

    I still love my ex I was the one who break up with him because he wasn’t giving me much attention. It been a yr since the break up he has a new girlfriend now :( we were just together for 3month and I have strong feelings for him is it possible to get him back? And if yes how? I don’t talk to him or call him we have no contact. Someone plz help me I really love him and I don’t want no one else but him

    • admin
      January 29, 2014 | 7:06 pm

      How long have you been in NC for now?

  49. Sarah
    January 16, 2014 | 10:37 am

    I’ve gotta tough situation here: so I broke up with him, we spent 3.5 years together, 2 of which are LDR due to uni but that should end soon, and he’s got a new girlfriend. No contact ends Monday 20th. He’s also a fair bit older than me but I think that’s irrelevant.
    The question is: even with all those factors, do u think if I’m patient and follow the plan and my gut, do u think I stand a fairly good chance at recovering the relationship? Or is it too many factors making it difficult?

    • Sarah
      January 16, 2014 | 9:55 pm

      Sorry to bother you again I’m just scared there’s too many issues in the above. But we get on amazingly, are a great team, share the same goals and can be total relaxed and ourselves round each other. Do u think that is worth fighting for or too many issues?

    • Angela
      January 20, 2014 | 5:57 pm

      Sarah, LDR is really tough. I broke up with my boyfriend about 5 weeks ago after LDR. I initiated but then regretted. I tried to contact him and told him my honest feeling but he already made his mind. I am still having an extremely hard time but I can’t really do anything right now since he is far away and he believes that this is better for us. He texted me emailed me a lot in the beginning, but now he is kinda in NC which makes me really worried and sad. He might be seeing someone, I dk.

      Sorry for my story, but in my opinion, since your ex already has a new girlfriend, you might not want to contact him and try to move on. He might be more annoyed since he is with a new person.. I know it will be so hard,, I can totally feel.. since when I think about my ex seeing someone and in love with that person, I will go crazy.. but, we can’t just be crazy and sad.. it is unfair for us being sad when they are being with someone else and happy, right??
      Hope you can move one and meet a perfect person for you!


      • Sarah
        January 26, 2014 | 9:42 pm

        See I can see what you’re saying but after all of 5 weeks I think you’re giving up a bit easily. And my situation wouldn’t have been long distance for much longer as I finish my degree in May. I’m convinced this new woman is a rebound: he even called me at 7am the other day to tell me he stil has a deep love for me but felt he had to try and move on. Although he’s not come back yet if I play my cards right I’m convinced he will.

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