The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule- What Is He Thinking?

1,382 thoughts on “The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule”

Diane

November 24, 2017 at 5:23 pm

Armor,
Is it a lot harder for me to try to reconnect, since we never official with the guy I met online vs a long distance relationship that was official?
I’m improving by working on myself, I figured out my personal mistakes and learning how to work through it. For the birthday thing, I realize I’m in no rush to say happy bday I thought it might be a way to contact the person again and start slowly. I have his email, and fb still.
diane

November 24, 2017 at 7:49 am

i forgot to say that throughout our interaction, we did not fight and the day that he ‘dumped ‘ me /called it off we didnt have a fight either, there was no blaming , insulting, or any mean words. we had a neutral, civil ending to our interaction. i told him my final thoughts and likewise he said good luck with everything( i was and still am in school while he is working, we’re in the health field).

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 1:23 pm

Hi Diane,

Yes, it will be harder..how active are you in improving yourself and in posting? Check this too:
“Can I Text My Ex On His Birthday?” Let’s End This Discussion Right Now

diane

November 24, 2017 at 7:45 am

i met a guy online, we talked on the phone and fb video chatted for about 2 months. we discovered that we like each other, we made plans to meet over winter break but as of right now its not happening. he called our situation done (he said bye)around early mid october because of his work/family stress issues. the last time he replied was after he replied to my messages the day he “dumped” me via fb messenger(we were never official but would have been if we met in person). i sent him a short and simple reply after his reply and he never responded back, although he’s still my friend on fb and he did not block me from fb or anything. it is now day 42 of no talking, his birthday is in late december, will saying anything on his birthday hurt my chances of any slight possible future reconnection? I am now comfortable with silence so im used to it by now. the thing that gets me is, i really liked him but it seems like maybe timing was off. and he sounded really firm, no joke kind of person based on how his personality is/ previous interaction with him.
Upeka

November 11, 2017 at 11:18 am

Me and my bf broke up two weeks ago. We dated only 6 months. We shared lot of time together all most everyday. After one night drunk and partying I had a fight with a friend of mine and it became dramatic. And I cried.while I cried I said things like he doesn’t love me. This started there.he said following day he can’t do a relationship he thinks he is hurting me and he had a bad break up previously.so he thinks he is not ready.he was a wonderful guy.i never said I love him bcz I was scared. He also did not. Now he asked for space and to slow down things I said ok .I got angry after that bcz I saw him partying with our common friends. Anyways this happened two weeks ago.we broke up.few days back he texted me asking casual things. First I replied then I stopped. I was scared this will lead to a friend ship. I miss him so much.feel like talking to him. What should I do

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2017 at 1:15 am

Hi Upeka,

check this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Wants To Stay Friends

corinne

November 7, 2017 at 9:30 pm

Hello,

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. There has been some cordial contact over these past 2 weeks but today is my first day of radio silence. We dated very happily for 2 years. We are still very much love. The breakup happened because he recently took a job many countries away. We initially agreed to take it one day at a time and continue to communicate where our feelings stand on the relationship. However, after a month of distance he broke it off saying he felt tremendous anxiety about the distance and couldn’t simply ask me to uproot my life to move in with him when the current job he has is not stable. He was worried that my sacrifice would degrade our relationship long-term.

I am implementing radio silence mostly for my own benefit. I realized that I am addicted to him and each time I contact him I feel good but then I feel terrible once the reality sets in again that we are not together and it’s out of our control to remedy right now. I am also implementing radio silence because I want him to feel my absence since he seems pretty certain right now in his need for space and freedom. I am deeply in love with him and letting him go out of an act of love. I would really like to approach him in the future once I have worked on myself he has more clarity and security in his career pursuits. He too, has hinted about this prospect but we never had the official conversation.

Please let me know your thoughts.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 7:06 pm

Hi Corinne,

check this one:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant

Gem

October 31, 2017 at 5:56 am

I did 1 month of NC. He tried contacting me a few times for unimportant reasons, and unfriended me after 3 weeks. He’s been NC for 2 weeks now. When we broke up he said we’d might be able to make things work when the long distance is over and showed me a lot of physical affection as if he were still my boyfriend.

After 5 weeks of NC, I emailed him a message without expecting a response. I wrote about how I apologize for my part in the breakup now that I’ve had time to myself to think, and that the breakup was something I felt we needed since our long term long distant relationship caused a lot of stress. I ended it saying that I never took our love for granted and that I’ll miss what we had, but i understand it’s time to move on.

I sent this yesterday but still haven’t gotten a response, i honestly don’t know if he even uses that email anymore or how often he checks it since it’s not his professional email.

After ignoring him long enough, I felt this was the right thing to do. I feel like I hurt him by ignoring and refusing his social media requests, but I needed clarity because obviously I was hurt by him separating with me. I Also needed to get that guilt off my chest.

Do u think I’ve messed up my chances of him contacting me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2017 at 7:21 pm

Hi Gem,

Check this one:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

Tehnia Sultan

October 29, 2017 at 1:19 pm

Hello,

Me and my boryfriend have dated for 3 years .. we have had a beautiuful relationship where little fights have also happened. He loved me dearly and did everything for the relationship. It was his birthday on the 12th of October and he recently shifted to another country …. so the day before his birthday we had a small argument and on the day of his birthday I was at his place and we had a fight where I reacted rash and took the ring off.. which I immediately took back also…. he was very hurt and sad…. I apoliogised to him and his parents… but he decided to break up as he said he could not take this and he was hurt and he wanted to think about himself now … as he felt hurt that after doing so much … I took the ring off…. it was pure mistake I have waited a year for him to give me the ring.
Neverthe less after he visited me and broke the news of breaking up we were still exchanging a few texts where I kept apologizing him.
He told my friend that he doesn’t want this relationship any more…. but he cares for me.
IT was my birthday on the 28th OCtober and he sent me a birthday message.

But we are not talking any more …. as he said he needs his space and a break to pass this phase…. he has been texting me with all mixed sentences… where once he says … he doesn’t want it … and then he tells me we should take time to recover this phase as if we keep talking .. it wont help either of us so he wanted to take a break….

now we are not talking at all.. and I want to do the no contact rule …. but what are the chances he will come back to me?

Also his parents have a strong influence on him.

Waiting for ur answer.

BR
Tehnia

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2017 at 9:25 pm

Hi Tehnia,

The emails are handlef by Leia, our team mate.. If you replied to those texts, restart the count and do at least 21 days and check this one:
How To Take Charge Of Your Life After A Breakup (One Woman’s Incredible Story)
And this one:
Desperation 101- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Looking Desperate

Crystal

October 27, 2017 at 3:01 pm

So I am on day 20 of NC and I have to say that it is going well!!! My Ex who broke up with me after a fight (the coward) has not reached out to me during this period so far, BUT he watches my ig stories often. We’re still friends on all social media and he hasn’t removed any pics of us that he has posted. Last Friday I got some texts from his daughter trying to make small talk (she’s with her dad every weekend so I thought that was strange). I love her she’s been my bonus daughter for a year…so when she asked me what I was up to I responded “out with a friend.” lol Then the conversation got dry. Anyways, how am I doing? Advice? Thoughts? 10 more days left….

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 30, 2017 at 8:30 pm

Hi Crystal,

You’re doing great! Just keep it up while slowly building rapport..

Sarah

October 12, 2017 at 1:04 pm

My ex broke up with me over 3 months ago there has been contact on and off throughout. Lots of messages have been very mixed lot of angry ones from myself and reacting to his messages etc. I messaged him 3 weeks ago saying that I didn’t want to keep on texting that it was causing unnecessary confusion and didn’t want it to ruin what friendship we had and suggested we met up for a coffee. He messaged me back the next day telling me can’t stop thinking about me that everything reminds him of me and that I’m always on his mind has never loved anyone like he loves me feels so low misses me so much would love to meet for a coffee or whatever. I backed off after i received this message as it made me really rethink about the consequences of meeting up as I do still have feelings for him anyway I left it a week then I messaged him last Friday saying I had given it a lot of thought and I couldn’t see him again and that I was sorry I followed it up with a message on Monday saying that i wanted him to to know this wasn’t easy for me that I missed him very much but I had to do what was best for me and that I didn’t want to be sad anymore. It would be so easy for us to meet up but we want different things now. And this was a very painful decision for me. The thing is the reason why he broke up with me was because he’s gone back to his family well his children and I don’t deserve to be an option and I feel that deep down that’s all he would want now was to still see me but still stay with his family so basically have it all. I don’t know if I’m right or not but I do feel that if he was genuine and really felt those feelings then I would see actions of some kind? He didn’t answer my message and still has not. I guess what I’m trying to ask is would me sending something like that push him away if he was genuine about how he felt about me. Does the fact that he hasn’t answered by now mean that he wasn’t being genuine about his feelings and what he sent to me? I’m so confused by it all…. Any advice would be most appreciated.

Sarah

October 13, 2017 at 9:20 am

Hi Amor. He has gone back to his ex yes but it is more for the kids than anything. She has always been there in the background during the time we were together and he was always pulled back to his kids. He has not asked to date me as such but his previous messages to that a few weeks before he had said that he needed to see me at some point to know that I was well and to escape with me I interpreted that that he wanted me on the side and I reacted very angrily saying I didn’t deserve to be an option and would not settle for something rather than nothing he went quiet when I reacted which made me think I had been right otherwise why stay quiet? When he broke away from me he told me that I was the love of his life and our time would happen it just wasn’t the right time now. So when he came forward so much in that last message it just made me think that he was hoping for that I could be wrong but I feel if I was wrong by sending that last message I sent him I would have had a response?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2017 at 5:43 pm

You’re not wrong.. If he wants a relationship with you, he has to fix his current situation first before being in a relationship..if they’re really separated, then he should get his own place near the kids
Sarah

October 12, 2017 at 8:13 pm

Hi Amor. He has gone back to his ex yes but it is more for the kids than anything. She has always been there in the background during the time we were together and he was always pulled back to his kids. He has not asked to date me as such but his previous messages to that a few weeks before he had said that he needed to see me at some point to know that I was well and to escape with me I interpreted that that he wanted me on the side and I reacted very angrily saying I didn’t deserve to be an option and would not settle for something rather than nothing he went quiet when I reacted which made me think I had been right otherwise why stay quiet? When he broke away from me he told me that I was the love of his life and our time would happen it just wasn’t the right time now. So when he came forward so much in that last message it just made me think that he was hoping for that I could be wrong but I feel if I was wrong by sending that last message I sent him I would have had a response?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 12, 2017 at 6:28 pm

HI Sarah,

Just to be clear, you mean he’s still married, he’s currently with his wife and he wants to date you too?

F

October 11, 2017 at 12:35 am

I’m wondering whether the reactions and thoughts going through the guy’s mind are the same IF he made the decision to end the relationship?

F

October 11, 2017 at 1:33 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks for your reply.

This is my story: a month before we broke up, he said that he wanted to take the relationship back to the beginning, that he felt stuck in a rut and didn’t want to break up. I resisted this and the few times we met up, I was awkward and made various not-so-subtle hints about the fact that I hated it, hated not being able to see him or speak to him as much as we did before. Before this he had spoken about us moving in together. So, 4 weeks later, he ended our relationship (we’d been together for a year). There was no begging or pleading, no gnatting or anything which Chris advises against. He text me the next day and there was a bit of back and forth but I sent the last message, something insignificant about his work and he didn’t reply. I went 5 weeks without contacting him, sent him a “guess what I’ve just seen” type text and he ignored me, despite having read the message (damn you WhatsApp!) and it’s now been another 3 weeks since we had any contact. He isn’t a fan of FB – so I haven’t been posting too much, just a few updates saying I’m out with friends etc – but he hasn’t removed me yet.

Any thoughts?!
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 12, 2017 at 12:03 pm

your posts are you indirect way of showing your improvements.. even if he is not active, once he gets curious, he’ll check your account.. So, I think you need to restart nc, do at least 21 days.. be active in improving yourself and in posting and then initiate contact again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2017 at 10:32 am

Hi F,
Yes, if you did the no contact rule properly..

Keisha

October 11, 2017 at 12:04 am

Hello me and my boyfriend have been together 7 1/2 months. He broke up with me today. Because he said I believed other people over him possibly cheating. You see for 3 months we hadn’t had sex or seen each other. So I was just seeking advi ce on what I could do to get his attention he claims he was busy setting up events in a facebook group and yes he had alot of female friends so he hung with them alot. He also was very private so he didn’t want it to be known were dating. So he got angry with me because he said I believed my friends over me. He just cut off all ties with me blocked me from social.media and everything. So my 30 days starts today by default. What do I do and what will happen next? Is it a possibility we will get back together?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2017 at 10:30 am

Hi Keisha,

that’s odd for him not wanting to be known that you’re dating.. Be active in improving yourself and in posting.. Since you’re blocked, make your posts public..

Melissa

September 23, 2017 at 2:08 pm

We’ve lived together for 2 years, he was my life. I am 50 he is 47. Things had felt off all weekend. We drove home for 7 hours in near silence. When we got home and I asked if we could have a heart to heart. He immediately began to cry and said he never wanted to hurt me. He had met someone he had a connection with and wanted to see where it would go. Said he wasn’t trying to rush me. I didn’t have to worry about a place to live. He didn’t come home a couple of nights that week, said he needed time to miss me and hopefully “get his head out of his ass.”
He came home that Friday to change, I asked him, “can I tell you something and you not get angry at me?” He just looked at me and nodded. ” I think you have abandonment issues from your mother and this drives you to this behavior.” He sat down on the side of the bed, head in his hands and cried. After a few minutes he jumped up and began changing clothes saying “I’m going to go fix this.” “What do you mean?” I ask. He said “I’m going to break it off.” I jumped across the bed and he took me in his arms and sobbed, “I am so sorry for all this mess, I never meant to put you through this.” He left and in a little while texted me “I’m on my way sweetheart. I love you so much!!” ” I feel so much better.” I have thought what you said a million times but I’m blind to the sight of what it does to me.” We had a wonderful weekend, even discussed him going to counseling, buying a car together. Hung out with his friends. I asked that he cut communication off with her, but as we sat at his friends house she texted him. I could tell from across the room. Immediately my dreams were falling apart again. On that Tuesday night I walked into the bathroom to put his clean work clothes in there for the next day. He was coming out of the shower, towel and phone in his hand. ” I got a text.” He said and feigned dissatisfaction with that. We talked but I was quite upset. He even made a comment about “how am I supposed to make a decision in one weekend?” Wasn’t breaking it off with her your decision?? How could he be trying to mend us and still talk to her. He told me how hard it was, how you meet someone and there is a connection, like what we have but he’s just so confused inside. By Thursday night I could tell he didn’t want to be there, I could feel it in the air. He almost recoiled at my touch. I finally said, just go, do what you need to do. I won’t beg any longer. So he packed a bag, took all his work clothes and left that Friday morning. It will be a week tomorrow and I am so lost. Do I wait for him to miss me? Does he really want me to or is he just hoping I go away quietly? He sent me a text the other night about what was on his mind, all the things wrong about me, picked on my one insecurity that he had almost helped me get over and threw it in my face, then said he didn’t feel any damn better. So I sit at home, trying to figure out my next move. Do I wait? Is that stupid? Am I stupid? Am I lovable at all? I just want to know what to do. I need this roller coaster of emotions to come to an end.
It’s now been a week and I’ve initiated NC, on day 2 lol. We’ve talked a little before me initiating NC but it’s only because of finances. I’m so lost still. I have strength and resolve one minute then reduced to tears another. I keep asking myself
“how will NC work when he is wrapped in someone else’s arms?” These visions are killing me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2017 at 7:22 pm

HI Melissa,

are you going to move out?

Tai

September 3, 2017 at 7:17 pm

My partner broke up with me in January 2017. We had been together for 5yrs and he’d cheated on me via text and taken girls out on dates whilst we were together. It’s likely that he was physically unfaithful too. We resolved these issues and had been wanting to get married. We talked about it but he never committed to the idea and made weak plans concerning the future. I suggested we take a week to think about what we want and after that week he was no clearer regarding our plans. We argued and he told me he needs to focus on himself as he has nothing to offer and there was a sense of panic, sadness and desperation in what he was saying. He also said he needs to focus on himself and to allow him to miss me and make his own decision regarding us. I got upset following the break up but he was resolute and his mind couldn’t be changed. I begged and cried and he stayed with me that night to make sure that I was ok, but still insisted that he needs to focus on himself. He walked out of my life and asked me to respect his need for time. He confirmed we were no longer together, but would never answer when I asked if he was forever done with us.. I couldn’t accept the break up and kept in touch. After about 3 weeks of initially barely responding to me he started replying. Following the initial silence we would talk and still see each other (at each other’s homes) but we didn’t go out and do the social things like we used to. We were intimate on 3 occasion within a period of 4 months, but the majority of the time that we met we were not intimate. I should also add that he went to his native country for 3 weeks and I went too, a week later, as part of volunteer group. He then met me in my hotel after my 1st night there and we ended up spending the 3 weeks together with his family. At times he would become uneasy about my time with him but he ended up delaying his return for an additional week and so I continued to stay with him and his family and he flew back a day after I returned t london. We came back to London separately and we kept in contact, but he still insisted he needed to focus on himself. He’s currently in the process of renovating a property he bought and would ask me to look at bathrooms and kitchens with him. He’d send me the options to choose my favourite and sent me pictures of the house as it progressed. He also asked, quite generally, how I’d feel if I ever lived with a lodger/tenant. I knew this was something he was considering as his mum had told me that she had suggested that he take in a tenant to save money once he moved into the property. The plan before we broke up had been to move into the property once married. Anyway the property is taking longer than expected and as time passed I became impatient and dissatisfied with the lack of progress between us. I brought up the relationship he told me he never said he wanted to work on things with me and then he pulled away and contact became less. This was around 4 months after our break up. We saw each other after this, but he was more reluctant although he kept in contact. On one occasion when I was at his house, after turning up uninvited, the following month, he saw messages between myself and his mum in his mum’s phone and was angered that we were ‘plotting’ behind his back to get us back together. He asked to see the messages in my phone, but when I refused and he told me to leave despite me apologising for the way the messages made him feel. I get on with his mum and she wants nothing more than for us to reconcile After this I resolved to move on. He then messaged me when I got home but I didn’t respond. He messaged me again the next day asking me to call him, but I didn’t so then he called me and I ignored this too. I didn’t hear from him for the next two days, then he called again. No response and so the following day he sent a number of angry texts telling me that I had no right to be angry or to ignore him as he was the wronged party. I then caved and we met up talked and parted amicably but not as a couple. Again my intention was not to contact him as I didn’t like where the relationship had gone. A week later he messaged me and I told him I was at the gym (new hobby I had taken up). He then called me and we spoke. I ended the conversation and there was no contact for nearly 3 weeks before he contacted me again asking how I was. Initially I was quite collected but then I binged on contacting him as I had missed him and sent lots of messages. His responses were positive but I knew I was going about things the wrong way. I then asked to him to see a film and he told me he had seen it already and when I asked to meet up he made some excuse about not having time so I told him his contacting me sets me back and that it’s best we part ways properly. He didn’t respond straight away but contacted me two days later on my dad’s birthday, apologising for ignoring my message, but said he didn’t want to go over things again and wished my dad a happy birthday. I responded to his messaging by saying ‘thanks’ and that I would pass his message to my dad and nothing more. It was at this point that I found out about the NC Rule. I went NC for 23 days and then reached out with a first contact text. His response was positive and I ended the conversation after not respondng to his last message. I also didn’t contact him the next day and then the following day he contacted me asking if I was up to date with a TV show. He then sent another text that same day asking me to call him because he wanted advice regarding a job application which I believe was an excuse. I didn’t see his message straight away and when I did I asked him to give me half an hour to call him as I was busy. I then called him and we spoke on the phone for the first time after NC. The conversation was friendly and he asked for advice. I made sure that it did not go beyond his job and I didn’t volunteer information about myself and didn’t enquire about him either. I followed up the next day by emailing him information that I promised, that would help with his interview, and also got back to his question about the TV show. He then followed up by asking me more questions about the job and was really upbeat. I responded to his questions and then told him he’d do great and wished him well. I had planned to follow up in 2 days time on the day of his interview to see how it went, but he then text me thanking me once again for my help and giving me another update about the job. The day before the interview I sent a funny text, and asked how the interview preparation was going. He said he hadn’t begun prep yet and would begin after work. I would usually have messaged after work so see how his prep was going but decided against it. Late that evening I woke up to text from him asking if I’m up and telling me that he felt the interview might be difficult. I sent back words of encouragement. The next morning he sent me a voice note explaining how the prep had gone. He had the interview and updated me after. I then initiated the convo the next day but could sense he was busy so ended the conversation and told him enjoy the weather and the weekend.

Is this positive and does it sound like he’s interested. I’m actively changing my profile picture and have hinted that I’m out at times in my text responses. I’m a lot more detached than I’ve ever been in my responses to him although I’m trying to be fun and helpful and to rebuild that emotional attachment again. I have a feeling that he’s wondering if I’m different towards him now because I’m not readily divulging information about myself and I’m somewhat nice but aloof. He may think I’m dating now as I have boundaries.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2017 at 6:50 pm

HI Tai,

it’s too early to say that he’s interested again in you, but it’s a good sign that you can talk to him. Keep building rapport.

Tanya

August 28, 2017 at 5:33 am

Hi Amor,

I’m from the Private Group and I decided to do an NC of 21 days after recommendations by Jennifer. I commented on another page. So I was in a LDR for 11 months and during the last month, I was searching for jobs in his country and due to some anxiety and miscommunication we were arguing every once a week. At the end of July, he suddenly requested for a break, saying that he didn’t know if he loves me but he cares for me, and wanted to remain friends. After the break he wanted to break up, and said he no longer loved me as he does not believe that we would be together, and that we were too different, but will always care for me. The relationship was overall good, and he was the sweetest boyfriend I had. I suspect the reason was that he was having cold feet, feeling insecure, and being stressed as he would be starting on a new job and was finding for a new apartment. Also, I think that I was overly judgemental/ critical during the relationship and I might have hurt him. I did an NC immediately for 23 days together with improving myself and posting on FB, and reached out getting a neutral response, but after the second reach out (day 26) he ignored my message. I’m considering doing another NC of a week, but i suspect that wouldn’t be enough.

What would you recommend? Should i restart NC?
Do you think it is resentment which he is still holding onto or is he just too hurt by the breakup and requires more time?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 28, 2017 at 7:18 pm

Hi Tanya,

what was the texts you sent?

Sunset O.

August 15, 2017 at 2:44 am

After 2 mos of NC, we still didn’t talk. The last exGF called him after the break up and he is used to dumping the girls first to protect his pride. I don’t want to contact him because I want to be different from the last exGF. Besides he seems satisfied that he doesn’t need anyone. He seems happier without me. I wonder if he misses me or he still wants to work things out. He seems uninterested and I feel like deleting him from my social media. I don’t want to be his source of entertainment because he’ll see my posts. Take note that this guy is already 40, selfish and inconsistent, indecisive and emotionally unavailable, unaffectionate and egoistical. What can you advice, please?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 15, 2017 at 8:04 pm

If you really want to be different, move on. If you don’t want to be his entertainment, don’t waste time for him again.

Sunset O.

August 15, 2017 at 2:37 am

My exBF seems happy without me and content with his life. This is how I viewed him at first and he wasn’t actually never interested in having a GF. I was naive to be challenged by an emotionally unavailable man and he still tried to be together. We stopped the contact on June and no contact since then. It was long distance from June. I was the one who sent the last message in our normal convo. He is selfish, immature and independent who doesn’t want to compromise. He is unaffectionate, complacent and lazy. The last GF he had called him after the break up. I don’t want to call him because I don’t want to appear desperate because he seems satisfied anyway and doesn’t need someone. I can sense that he is the egoistical stubborn type and I want to be different from his exGF who called him after the separation. Is this okay?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 15, 2017 at 8:03 pm

If you really want to be different, move on. If you don’t want to be his entertainment, don’t waste time for him again.

Rae

July 18, 2017 at 11:57 am

We broke up 31 days ago. We were with each other for 2 and half years. We have been through some tough life times. We were engaged. I gave him his engagement ring back after he said that he had felt like I pressured him a little bit into marriage. He had told me that he loved me 90% but not 100%. I loved him 100% obviously. I didn’t want to break up, I just thought we needed to take marriage off the table until both of us were in a better place relationship wise. Well the next day he broke up with me. I emailed him a couple of days after the breakup and he responded back mostly angry and stern. We emailed about relationship issues, financial and emotional. He determined he still thought we should go our separate ways and that being without me in his life for a couple of days made him realize that he needs to move forward. Two weeks after our last goodbye email, he tried to call me (I was unavailable) and he dropped off a small bag of my things left at his house. He just left them on my porch. I didn’t respond to that because I was trying to implement the 30 NC. Friends and family recommended that I didn’t respond to it either. Why did he do that? He could have just thrown those things away if he was really finished with the relationship??? Well now here I am at 35 days no contact since the last goodbye email. I want him but also we had some concrete things in our relationship that didn’t go well and I don’t know if we could fix it if we’re back together. Actually I’m really bothered that he hasn’t contacted me again. I feel like we could have worked through the issues if we both really tried but I’m not sure he would do it. What do I do? Should I send out the text message per EXboyfriend PRO suggestion or just let this go? Please advise. Also, I didn’t get a chance to activate the private Facebook link that I received from you all. How do I do that?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2017 at 10:03 pm

Hi Rae,

please email leia here [email protected] with the same email you used to purchase the link about connecting you with the group. If you’re still not sure whether to initiate now, it’s ok to extend to 45 days.

Jessica

July 8, 2017 at 1:07 pm

Where are the articles on what to do after the initial meet up with your ex. I met up with my ex 1 week ago as soon as he left he text it was so nice to see me thanking me for seeing him and saying I’ll always have his heart an drew how beautiful I look. I just said thank you and how proud I was of him 1 week later he text me sorry to text you but you were right about video games basically trying to make a joke and start convo… everyone o know says don’t respond but I did no contact already for 1 month and he’s reaching out what do I say do I joke back laugh with him build that rapport or just ignore until he’s at my door like everyone says I don’t want to get friend zoned laughing and joking with him via text I’d prefer to be out his life completely than to be friend zoned ..

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2017 at 7:23 pm

Check this one:
The Rules For Going On A Date With Your Ex Boyfriend

Mia

July 8, 2017 at 2:16 am

My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago, we were together for six years and we have a child together. This is not our first break up, I never did NC but we still got back together. But now I’m tierd of being the person who is always begging, so I try to go in NC ( minimal contact in my case). But when I asked him if he would stop sending me message, he would just pick up our daughter in the kindergarten when it’s his time to be with her, and I will just pick her up when she is suppose to be with me. He got so angry that he deleted me on Facebook and yes I did a mistake calling him crying and begging because I thought he wasn’t ready to stop talking. After that I sent him a very angry message that I don’t want him to contact me never again, that I know I would be happy and so on… now it’s been six days since I spoke to him, but with the last message am I leaving a bad taste in his mouth? and should I apologize and tell him that this was wrong of me to act like this but now I’m feeling better and I have accepted the break up and then go back to NC?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2017 at 7:05 pm

Yup do that, and restart the count..

Kryz

July 6, 2017 at 1:19 am

Hi!
My LDR boyfriend broke with me up last week. He’s in the UK and I’m in the Philippines. But befofe he totally broke up with me, we had to call things first for a month. We had disagreements because of communication and time because basically of different time zones. During our calling off period, he would still call, text and dk FaceTime. He even said he missed me. But just a few days after his birthday 2 weeks ago, I was shocked that he broke up with me. He even said that he’s tired, he can’t just commit. He just wants to be alone for the moment and what was really heartwrenching was when he told me he doesn’t love me anymore. During that time, I begged, pleaded not to leave me. And yes, I totally looked clingy and needy. A day and 2 days after the break up, I FB messaged him again saying things to make him guilty but to no avail he just ignored me. I looked really desperate. Until I come across your website and now I’ve been doing the NC rule for about 5 days now.
But I sent him a birthday card and a post card a few hours before he broke up with me. It will get in the UK in about 3-4 weeks and during the period of NC. What do you think does it suggest or what may be his reaction at the time he will receive the letter? Does it mean I break the NC rule as well as I don’t have any idea? Please advise. Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2017 at 7:50 pm

Hi Kryz,

Check this one:
Learn How She Got Her Long Distance Ex Boyfriend Back

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