What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back

Should You Unfriend An Ex If You Want Them Back

Ah, it’s the age old question of unfriending an ex after a breakup on Facebook.

Should you do it?


Should you not do it?

Well, that’s what we are going to explore today.

Now, I want to start off by saying that you aren’t alone in asking this question. In fact, I must get this question or a form of this question every single day in my private support group helping women through breakups.

No seriously…

Check it out,

Pretty crazy, right?

And these were queries just from the last two days (like I said this is a question that gets asked every single day.)

But you know the thing that really struck me about these people asking these questions.

It’s the fact that most of them were on the other end of the spectrum when it came to unfriending on Facebook.

Rather than being able to ponder what to do about unfriending their ex after the breakup their ex boyfriend had initiated a preemptive strike and unfriended them first.

So, while I was going to just focus this article on whether you should unfriend your ex on Facebook I decided to also include what to do if HE unfriends you.

In other words, this article is going to have two parts,

Part 1: Should You Unfriend Your Ex Boyfriend On Facebook Or Other Social Media After A Breakup


Part 2: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Unfriends You First

Are you ready to jump in?


Let’s go!

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Part One: Should You Unfriend Your Ex On Facebook Or Other Social Media?

Well, ultimately this is a question that depends on your overall goals with your ex.

The way I see it is that when it comes to a breakup with an ex you have two choices,

  1. You can choose to try to get them back
  2. You can choose to try to move on and get over them

Now, I am not going to lie to you.

Most of the women who end up on this site are definitely in the “I want him back category” whereas a small segment just want to “move on.”

However, every once in a while you will get someone who straddles the line of wanting him back and wanting to move on.

Have you ever seen those swinging pendulums?

They just swing back and forth between a fixed point.

Well, that’s how I kind of view those women who swing back and forth between wanting their ex back and then cursing him and wanting to get over him.

It’s my experience that these are the types of women who have the most difficult time with the breakup because they can’t ever seem to make up their minds on what they want.

Now, you may be sitting there and wondering why I am bringing this up.

Well, it’s because in order for this article to be very helpful for you, you need to have your mind made up on what you want.

Unfriending an ex makes a very bold statement but if you go back and forth between unfriending him and then refriending him you are going to kill any progress you can potentially make.

Get it?

So, let’s cut right to the heart of the matter.

If You Decide That You Want Your Ex Back Should You Unfriend Them?

What I am about to say may very well be the most important thing I say regarding Facebook and other social media when it comes to reconnecting with an ex.

Facebook and social media is a weapon and you definitely need to be using it to raise your chances of success.

Studies have found that on average 90% of people will check an exes Facebook after a breakup.

In other words, there is a 90% chance that your ex will come snooping eventually and you need to make sure that when he does he sees you having the time of your life.

Now, lets hit the pause button and talk about the importance of this for a moment.

Why is it important that he sees you having the time of your life?

Well, I have long been a believer that men have this very strange belief that if THEY broke up with you then they think that it makes them better than you for some reason.

They can literally convince themselves that this is you after a breakup,

They think that you are crying over them and eating ice cream in a corner.

So, when they hop on Facebook to see that you are actually having the time of your life,

It does something interesting to their perception of you.

Instead of thinking of you as this weak woman who can’t get over a breakup they start to realize that maybe they didn’t mean as much to you as they originally thought.

If there is one universal truth about men it’s the fact that we all want to feel wanted by woman.

Take that away from us and we become like putty in your hands.

Now, lets switch gears for a moment and answer a pretty big question.

If You Decide You Don’t Want Your Ex Back Should You Unfriend Them?

There is no easy way to say this so I am just going to spit it out.

Getting over an ex isn’t as easy as you think.

How do I know?

Well, I understand the body chemistry behind it.

But before I get to that I have a question to ask you,

Do you think that it is easy for a cocaine addict to kick the habit completely?

Usually not.

I mean, I have heard some crazy stories about addicts robbing their own families just so they can find money for a “fix.”

Now you may be sitting there and wondering why I am bringing up such an “off limits” subject since it has nothing to do with a breakup.

Well… not so fast.

Did you know that the part of the brain that becomes active when you are going through a severe heartbreak is the same part of the brain that becomes active when a drug addict is going through withdrawal?

In other words, you are experiencing a lot of the same physical manifestations that you would if you had a drug problem.

Now, I have been doing this a very long time (half a decade to be exact) and I have found that the best way to get over a breakup is to limit your temptations.

We live in a world where we can literally check up on our ex in a matter of seconds through Facebook.

And even though checking up on our exes through Facebook seems like a small thing (and it is) it can balloon into a big thing that can prevent you from getting over him because you are engaging in your addiction.

Now I am going to say something shocking to you.

Are you ready?

I don’t think you should unfriend your ex on Facebook.


This way you limit his avenues to talk to you and it’s a way that you can stop yourself from constantly getting addicted to seeing what he is up to.

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Part 2: What Should You Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Unfriends You First

And now we switch gears and start talking about what the heck to do if your ex boyfriend unfriends you on Facebook.

Before we get into the nitty gritty I do have one little statement to make,

Going forward I am just going to operate under the assumption that you want your ex back.

After all, if you really were trying to get over your ex you wouldn’t care at all if he unfriended you, would you?

Ok, so the biggest mistake I see women making now-a-days when this happens is that they react in a crazy way.

Take one of the questions I posted above at the beginning of the article,

(Side Note: This is a real comment from a woman in our Private Support Group.)

This is a prime example of reacting in a crazy way.

Think about it for a moment.

Your ex boyfriend unfriends you and you are so hurt by it that you directly confront him to ask him way.

Does this seem like desperate behavior to you?

The answer is YES!

Look, in these kinds of circumstances it’s important to not react.

However, it’s also important to immediately set a goal.

And in this case your goal is to get your ex to “refriend you”

So, how do you make him do that?

Well, I am a big believer in the rungs of the ladder approach to getting an ex back.

You see, a surefire way to ruin your chances of getting your ex back is to try to do everything all at once.

Re-connection rarely happens that way.

Instead, a smarter approach is to slowly but surely work your way up the re-connection ladder.

So, maybe it looks a little something like this,

(For a more complete look at our process for getting an ex boyfriend back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

Do you see how it works.

In little bite sized steps you slowly work your way towards getting your ex to to become your friend again on Facebook or other social media platforms.

Now, I know you are probably sitting there thinking,

Ya, I get it but how do I ask him?

Honestly I don’t think you have to.

It’s all a matter of timing.

Consider this for a moment.

Lets say that your ex boyfriend unfriended you yesterday and you were to immediately try to refriend him the very next day.

What are the chances that he would accept your friend request?

Probably very low, right?

Now let’s say that it’s two months later and you and your ex have been flirting a lot recently.

So, you decide to send him a friend request.

What are the chances that he would accept it now?

Much higher, right?

Timing matters when you try to get him to refriend you.

Now, would that be the exact way I would go about recommending one of my clients to send a friend request to an ex?


I’d probably recommend them to qualify the friend request.

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How To Qualify A Friend Request To An Ex

What I am about to teach you here is really ninja so listen up.

No, not like that.

It’s important that you don’t friend request an ex out of the blue. That is very weird and bound to get ignored.

Instead, what you want to do is qualify the friend request so that it makes complete sense to him when you send it.

Imagine that the two of you are texting back and forth and you text him this,

After sending that text you wait for exactly three minutes and then you text him this,

Now, the genius behind this method is that you are the one leading him into doing it.

Of course, this method will only work if you time it properly.

In other words, you can’t try this method if you aren’t in a good place with him. If he still hates your guts then forget it you need to first work on getting him to not hate your guts.

The other catch is that this method only works if you have something super interesting to share.

In the example I decided to choose something funny because that is what would appeal to me but it works even better if it appeals to his interests.

For example, if you know that your ex is really into movies and his favorite movie just announced a sequel then it might be a good idea to send him something around that.

Generally the better your “bait” is it’ll start a new conversation in a new medium and it can be exciting for both of you!


Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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38 thoughts on “Should You Unfriend An Ex If You Want Them Back”

  1. Laura

    January 13, 2018 at 9:56 pm

    I was going through NC and still had my ex on social media. In all honesty having him on my social media was hurting me in my recovery process so I unfriended him on everything, facebook, snapchat, twitter instagram, and the next morning he unfollowed me on instagram. my problem is I still want him back but I was genuinely hurting seeing his face on my phone. Should I re-add him or just leave it as is?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 15, 2018 at 12:10 pm

      HI Laura,

      nope, just make your posts public.

  2. Kat

    January 12, 2018 at 9:55 pm

    Me and my ex broke up a little over two weeks ago. We dated for three years and it was a long distance relationship. I love him more than anything and the reason we broke up is because he couldn’t handle the distance anymore but he said that in the future if we are in the same place then we will work it out. I have been miserable. I have been trying to get my life back but I feel trapped because of those words that gave me some hope. Two days after we broke up I humiliated myself and tried to beg and plead, but of course, he wouldn’t budge. So I went into NC. A week after the break up he removed the pictures of us from his instagram. I made it two weeks NC and then broke it because of my moms advice. She told me to text him something nice and just see what he would respond so I texted and said “Hey I know we aren’t together anymore but I really hope you have a great spring semester” he responded minutes later and said “You too” and it hurt me because it felt so cold. This was two days ago. I have gone back into NC and I have been posting stuff on my snapchat stories and he always looks, in fact he’s always one of the first people to look. He hasn’t removed me from any social media platforms. I still love him so much and I want to be with him but I am slowly losing hope. Should I continue NC or just give up, move on, and remove him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 15, 2018 at 1:14 am

      HI Kat,

      Try to go through the process first but do posts that doesn’t disappear like fb or Instagram and make them public.

  3. kara

    December 31, 2017 at 3:22 am

    if i want to move on and block him on instagram, is it sound desperate for me? or maybe he will think that i’m sad because of him so i block him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 11:08 pm

      Hi Kara,

      If you want to move on, whatever he thinks doesn’t matter anymore.. Just do what you want to do.

  4. Leica

    December 21, 2017 at 9:31 pm

    Ok, so I screwed up really bad…After an argument with an ex (for which I apologized) and a long pleasant conversation on the phone, I woke up the next morning to notice that I had been unfriended on FB and blocked on his phone (I called him to ask if everything was okay, because I was blindsided by the sudden unfriending) and found out that he had blocked me on his phone. Anyway, being the adult that I am since we are both in our 30s, I called him from my other number, to fix things and see if we could resolve this (since I am a fixer and except for that argument, everything had been okay and we had a nice dinner the night before that)…Its like he had turned into a stranger who was completely indifferent to me, and was saying that he didn’t want to talk about it, and that he didn’t know when we would talk again and then hung up…I tried again and saw that he had blocked my other number too…So then the next day after I had got my emotions under control, I sent him an email apologizing for the misunderstanding,and stating that I hoped he would get back to me once he calmed down and then another email stating that I was okay just being platonic friends if that’s what he wanted (Desperate, I know)…I didn’t get any reply of course. I can’t block him because I still love him and don’t think I could ever do that. But I screwed up big time, and at this point, don’t care even if were just friends , since he seems comfortable with that…Is there anyway I can reverse this and get him to contact me? I am fine with just being friends at this point, though of course I will always want more, but it doesn’t matter…I Just miss him a lot and want things to go back to where they were. How do I get him to unblock and refriend me? I haven’t contacted him in almost two weeks since that last email. I know it’s going to take a long time to get the image of desperate me off his mind? Thank god I didn’t do anything crazier like showing up at his place or something.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 25, 2017 at 9:41 pm

  5. Diane

    November 23, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    What if you met someone online and had a connection and liked each other . Somewhere along the way it got complicated, work scheduling and stress made communication go wacky and it lead to the other person saying bye. We were suppose to meet but with all this due stress in life he called it off. We spoke and video chatted on fb messenger for the time we talked. Is this way more difficult to try to reconnect with this person versus someone who had an official relationship that was long distance?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Hi Diane,

      Yes, it will be harder..how active are you in improving yourself and in posting? Check this too:
      “Can I Text My Ex On His Birthday?” Let’s End This Discussion Right Now

  6. Raven

    November 12, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    My situation is a little more confusing. My ex and I were together 2 1/2 years and he would always tell me I was the best girlfriend he ever had and was his first for many things in his life. He would always say I was his everything and he loved me more than anything. We talked about moving in together once we graduate college in May and talked about a Disney trip in the summer and a cruise with his family in October. But 3 weeks ago out of the blue, he started to pull away and would sleep on the couch. I didn’t think much of it, he would say he wanted to watch tv but didn’t want to disturb me or wake me up. It then lead to him not texting me back, and when I would confront him on posting on social media but not replying back to me, he’d reply “k”. We had an in person talk and he said that he didn’t know what he wants right now and wanted some space to figure out what he wants out of life and himself. He said he will always care for me and wants to be my friend. We hugged it out, but it was a very passionate hug. We talked for 3 days and hung out with mutual friends, but he was super quiet and awkward. He told me I’m “always” around him and he wants space, which I respected. I didn’t talk or see him for 3 days, but I texted him something that reminded me of him, and he was very fast to reply and was happy via text. After a while, he wouldn’t even talk to me through text or social media, but would always watch my Snapchat story and like my Facebook posts. On November 1st, I started no contact, but we do bump into each other when we hang out with mutual friends. He’s quiet and not himself, and everybody notices. He never told the friend group he broke up with me, I told them 2 weeks after it happened. I always keep positive and start conversations when we’re all hanging out. On Snapchat, I always posted selfies with me looking good, hanging with friends, and doing a bunch of fun activities. I even started working out and hanging with new friends. I’d always post and he’d watch it. On his Snapchat, he never posts stories, but always watches. But when he broke up with me, he told me that he was not talking to anybody new and was not interested in any relationship right now. 3 days ago, I saw him on tinder and snap chatting a bunch of girls. Yesterday, he deleted me off of Snapchat. What should I do from here? Every problem we had in the relationship was minor and could be resolved, but he pulled away. We split one time prior and he had a tinder phase, but we reconciled and got back together. I’m praying this is the same instance.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 13, 2017 at 1:57 am

      Hi Raven,

      That’s good that you’re active in improving yourself but you have to post in sites where posts lasts.. So, that when he gets curious, he has something to see.. He probably removed you in snapchat to stop himself from watching it..

  7. Nina

    October 19, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    Ok so i met this guy through instagram…he came on very strong very fast and i freaked out…he wanted me to cut all others off and just see him…while i really liked and was attracted to him i was scared to say yes. He pressed me for a week or so to decide and i didn’t i kept calming up at the thought of committing i had been single so long i suddenly realized that i was used to being just me. IN any event he quickly shifted gears and acted resentful and even passive aggressive…we kept talking but he blocked and unblocked me several times on instagram and my phone number too…now I’m unblocked but he does’t follow me he flaunts other girls he talks to or sleeps with on his page…if i reach out I’m lucky if i get a response and if i do its very short…we slept together one day and he was supposed to come back and spend the day with me never did and still being short with me…in any event i want him to give me another shot I’m ready to commit to just him and would really like to start over. but its clear he isn’t taking me serious….i don;t know what to do…shuold i block him? i fear if i just unfollow him he’ll block me and then obviously won’t see my posts or anything. Whereas i felt if i block him it would be clear that i am putting myself first. Then obviously theres the third option of me leaving it as they are but not communicating with him…what do you recommend? I really want to work things out with this guy.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 23, 2017 at 12:38 pm

      Hi Nina,

      Don’t block him..start nc and do at least 30 days

  8. Melody Harmony

    September 24, 2017 at 6:08 am

    Knew him for 5 years. Gave him a chance after 3 years. He said the love word first. He stopped making me a priority (last time he did this….I told him I didn’t like it). After 31 days. He came back…and I let him back. After 8 months he didn’t make me a priority again.

    We are in an LDR. He came in or layover. Didn’t give me a heads up about when he had to go back to the airport. But he wanted to see me. Mind you I have lost 30 lbs and am a hella sexier. He was all over me. Then after we had a little intamacy (no sex) he says he got a call and has to go.

    Then he did not text me for 3 weeks. I reach out on snapchat because it says he was typing but did not send me a message and his response was cold. I replied bantering. Once again, a cold answer.

    I finally answer him 10 days later. I tell him that I really cared about him. How awesome I thought he was….but that I think things change. he flipped the switch on me and I felt hurt and embarrased. I said it is not ok to treat me like an option and hurt me. That I am not interested to have anything with me who would hurt me.

    He said nothing. I then post a story of 5 videos having some fun singing and things. He gets through 2 of the five and next thing I know….he deletes me. I said NOTHING to him.

    But not on Facebook. He still has me on there. He uses facebook more too anyway.

    It has been 44 days completely no contact. I have not made any statuses. I posted 2 selfies the other day…but other than that…I have been off fb. I didn’t say anything. Been working out (as usual). I work OT and am in school so don’t have time to post social stuff. But nevertheless I don’t like memes about heartbreak or anything like that. Silence or the occasional like on family photos.

    I don’t look him up….

    My question is….should I delete him? I want him back…but if he does not come on his own…I don’t want to message him. He WILL KNOW then what I am after (trust me).

    In addition. Why delete me off of snap but not off FB? Wierd!! Share your thoughts please

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 27, 2017 at 8:22 pm

      Hi Melody,

      don’t delete him.. if he uses snapchat more, then that helps him not view your posts..

  9. Lisa

    August 4, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    My ex blocked my number but still kept me on Snapchat. He opened my message on Snapchat but never answered. I have now cut contact with him and stopped reaching out. Should I block him on Snapchat or leave him on there as a friend so he can see my posts and how well I am doing without him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 6, 2017 at 4:31 pm

      Hi Lisa,

      Dont block him and make your posts in thr sites that you’re blocked, public.

  10. D

    June 27, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    I blocked my ex on social media, because I was so upset he cheated on me, and wanted to continue to pursue the girl he cheated on me with (they are both rebounding from long relationships)! We have dated for 9 years. I want him back. I am in NC period right now. I gave him my ring back and told him to not contact me. (I wanted to scare him, since I have never said that before) He told me to reach out to me if I needed anything because he still loves and cares for me. Was blocking a mistake? I still have him on one social media site, so I could post some stuff to make him jealous. What should I do? I don’t want him to think he doesn’t have a chance anymore and give up even more than he already has. PLEASE HELP!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      She’s a grass is greener.. You should unblock him..

    2. D

      June 29, 2017 at 6:07 pm

      Thank you. Like i said I didn’t block him on one, but I noticed he did unfriend me on that one and all of my close friends. Does that mean he is trying to hide his new relationship because he is happier? Or just figures I deserve better and doesn’t want me to see what he is doing so I can move on.

      Also, how long does Grass is greener last? Will he regret this? It seems like he totally just wanted to block out or entire 9 year relationship and was not sincere about apologizing that he did all of this.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 30, 2017 at 12:44 pm

      It’s more because he doesn’t want you to chase.. It depends if you change or not and if the other girl changes too

    4. D

      June 30, 2017 at 2:39 pm

      I am going to focus on myself and bring me back to a happier place and move on without fully moving on. The love me and him shared was undeniable, everyone wanted us to get married/so did we, we had a very unique relationship and have been through a lot together and always came out strong. Things got tough in the relationship, and I was going through one of the hardest times in my life and depression took over me the past few months. It seemed like he became insecure with how I was acting and thats why he wanted “better” for himself and “me”. I unblocked him, but i am not friends with him anymore since it automatically makes you unfollow each other when you block. It has been one week since NC, and he has been spending every night with this new girl. Acting like our relationship never happened, even un friending all of my friends. What do I do when the NC period is over? Should I follow him now or after NC? How do I get him back! I feel him with me constantly, and know that he is upset/confused also. My depression was a temporary thing and we were always happy, I don’t understand why he would blame and think our relationship was so horrible when this was a phase I was going through! What do I do!

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 30, 2017 at 5:07 pm

      Follow hin later when you’ve already built rapport.. Check this:
      How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

    6. D

      July 4, 2017 at 4:35 pm

      ok thanks. what are your thoughts about this girl? ik it is a grass is greener. but i was going through the hardest time in my life, and instead of him being there for me he started hanging out with the wrong crowd and started seeing her (family friend) now since we have broken up he is bringing her around family/friends immediately, since they know her and has introduced her to others. she is requesting all his family and friends on social. she just turned 19, he is 24. and she also cheated on her boyfriend of 4 years with mine. will this last? why are they moving so fast? and how do i get them to stop! we were planning to spend our life together and he just stopped everything for her.

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2017 at 5:15 pm

      Stop focusing in the other girl..focus in yourself and what impact or effect you leave when he sees or talks to you

    8. D

      July 6, 2017 at 6:09 pm

      What should i do if i see him at a mutual friend event? what if he brings her?

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 8:11 pm

      Just be civil and polite

    10. D

      July 18, 2017 at 1:33 pm

      Ok so a mutual friend ran into him and said that he said he still thinks about me a lot and lets his new girl know about it and she “gets it” because we were together for so long. but things are going well with the GIG/rebound girl. Everyone has been telling him she is just using him but he doesn’t think so as she is driving him around/paying for stuff. All he talks about is materialistic things about her and not her as a person so definitely still in the honeymoon phase. He also said she shows him her texts with her ex as well, but I don’t get why she would still be texting her ex and why that doesn’t seem sketchy to him. He said he wants to reach out to me and ask how i’m doing but it wont be for a while because he doesn’t want to make things harder for me. I am 25 days into NC. I have not heard anything from him at all. What should I do? I am continuing to improve myself. Should I extend NC to 45 days or still go with the 30 day plan?

    11. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 10:05 pm

      You can initiate after 30 days, but if you feel that you’re not ready, it’s ok to extend to 45.

  11. Jennifer

    June 2, 2017 at 5:38 am

    What if i already unfriend him? We had a huge aguement i was so upset that it was over.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 2, 2017 at 7:31 pm

      make your posts public and then add hiim back later on when you’ve rebuilt enough rapport

  12. Daisy

    May 8, 2017 at 11:05 am

    Hi Chris / Amor,

    I’ve been on here quite a few times over the years… have found it really helpful! I’m just stuck in a bit of a rut right now and really unsure what to do next. I was seeing a guy for 6 months (but we were unofficial) over a year ago. It was the best time I’ve ever had in my life and everything felt so magical when I was with him – even random things in my life seemed so much brighter, even when he wasn’t there. He just made me & everything in my life feel so good & happy! We ended it because whilst everything was going brilliantly, we were both still on the dating site & I wanted to know where it was going; we arranged to meet at a pub and I asked him where he saw us going… to this, he took my hands in his and told me really gently that he didn’t think what we were doing was going anywhere. I couldn’t believe it; wasn’t expecting this reaction at all and it came out of nowhere! I kept myself together even though I was breaking up inside; he obviously felt bad and he even bought me a surprise icecream after this (the waiter just brought it over & it was so sweet!) – it was as if he was trying to make me feel better. He still wanted to be friends & wanted to keep seeing me – he says he still desires me & thinks I am so beautiful as a person, and that he likes me; but I was quite fierce, refusing as I said I liked him too much and needed to move on. Anyway since that, we’ve spoken a lot on social media and on two occasions I’ve got upset seeing his face pop up on my news feed & so have deleted him on Facebook – only to re-add him the next day and he accepted straight away. He has often said he sometimes thinks he’d never want to be in a committed relationship as he can’t commit (he says he has a problem & is worried about getting hurt), but then at the same time he’s also said he doesn’t think we’re right enough for each other. A couple of months ago I followed all the advice on this site and managed to initiate 2 dates 🙂 the first was quite low key but he was complimenting me and even insisted on walking me back to my car (15 mins away) and gave me a tight hug at the end. The second really felt like the best date we have ever had (well, to me anyway!). It was so subtly romantic, a bit of subtle flirting, +++eye contact (he seemed to be just gazing at me with a happy look on his face at times) and at the end I kissed him… and he then kissed me too. However, I perhaps kissed him too soon (being only the 2nd date for a long time) & came on a little strong and trying to arrange a third date was like trying to get blood out of a stone! He was pretty inconsiderate about times and took ages to get back to me; it was really upsetting & I felt really strung along. Finally, we agreed on a third date but by this point I was so frustrated with feeling strung along, I told him to forget it and went out with someone else instead!! I sensed that this annoyed him a little but he said he understood and that he’s really sorry for making me put up with ‘his crap’. The last convos we had, he said that he was hoping I’d gone on more dates and was feeling happy and bright. I have pretended to be happy by putting lots of positive things on Facebook; I’ve been going out with friends, dating other guys, concentrating on my work, booked an amazing Caribbean holiday with my friend which I’m going on in 2 weeks (!!!) & I’m about to qualify from my degree and have accepted 4, yes 4, jobs in amazing new cities! (currently trying to decide which one to actually go for). I just still really miss him and think about him most of the time, every time I wake up & before I go to bed. It’s like a dull ache and I really can’t move on. Sometimes I feel so depressed and have even thought that life is not worth living like this 🙁 cos the horrible feeling never goes away (I’m actually worried about the next time I feel so low… as I feel SO low and feel like not living anymore). It’s been a year. I messaged him a couple of weeks ago (after he didn’t reply to my previous message; not that there was much to say to it) saying that I just really miss hanging out with him & that I really hope that he’s happy and met someone lovely and is enjoying life etc.). He read it but still hasn’t replied & he’s added this gorgeous looking girl on Facebook and I’m thinking maybe he’s seeing her instead :\ I just feel like such a fool and I really feel like I’ve tried everything and that there is nothing else to do. I thought I could hide my Facebook and just get rid of social media altogether as I think it’s making me feel more miserable, especially when he ‘likes’ my posts and it’s almost like a false sense of security that he does still want to get back with me in the future. It’s so hard 🙁 What could you suggest I do? 🙁 Would you suggest I disappear from Facebook for a bit? (Not deleting him) Daisy xx

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 11, 2017 at 3:34 pm

      for me you should move on.. when he said he thinks you like him too much that means you’re chasing and he doesn’t see you as an ungettable girl.. he has to think you are first.. improve yourself first and if you want chance, dont rush things..

  13. bubblegum

    May 5, 2017 at 4:30 pm

    I want to share my experience. I some time visiting this site and I love it has helped me so much in growing as a person so I wanted to thank everyone who works on this site cause thanks to all of you my life has changed for good … So now the experience I want to share is kinda ironic my ex full blocked me in everyway he deleted all social medias, changed his phone number and also told me to never contact so we’ll I decide to go for a forever NC rule lol I mean no option lol more than trying to become the Best version of me and trying to use social medias to make him curious .. so I did it ..got in grate shape. Fix my life that was a mess, took me months to understand and change many things I did wrong and I was posting Happy pics going out pics I even took the sunny pics with a photographer to look beautiful.. all that to make him curious I knew he was stalking me cause we have a common friend and LinkedIn told me lol but after trying and trying I posted many questions here and trying to make him talk to me after more than a year last week i said can’t anymore I don’t care anymore what you think of me, my life is not gonna be around you! so I deleted all social medias, now I have no pics online he can’t know what I’m doing anymore and guess what ..after more than a year of full NC 3 days ago I received a call it was him saying hello where are you I want to see you, are you in your apartment right now? I was like omgggg! Haha and I said I’m working right now I can’t, and he said ah ok but with a disappointed tone of voice so after that I text him saying he could contact me there for anything he needs but he is not answering back that was 3 days ago but I mean why now when I finally stop caring?.. I have to say I’m way more happy now that I I’m not seeking approval I worked so hard on myself trying to improve myself in everyway and I believe this site has helped me a lot, I also feel more mature and calm, so anyway I still work everyday to improve myself maybe he will text back.. who knows

    1. bubblegum

      May 5, 2017 at 4:31 pm

      Sorry for the grammar lol is my phone

  14. Marlene

    May 3, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    My ex is dating my best friend. He said he’s still attracted to me and that he is dating someone who is boring to him and that he will dump her… I told her because we tell each other everything and I didn’t know that she is that girl. She told me later that she is seing him but they are not official and he hides her from everyone- she is very jelous and hurt by the fact he was madly in love with me and he is very cold to her. She thinks it’s some kind of revenge to me.
    I am not angry with her, I just feel sorry for her, she is a miserable person with no self respect. And he is a piece of sh*t. I told her I cant be friends with her anymore because I also had a chance with her ex and never do such a shameful thing.
    He wanted to mess with both of us but I told him so many hurtful things after I found out that he is dating her and he hates me now which I don’t care.
    She was expecting that I will comfort her because he treats her bad and she is not me, he is not in love … Unbealivable.

    I don’t want him back, he is worthless for me now. I just want advice how to forget him and win that situation. How to make best from that betrayal. They are both desperate and fucked up and I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up married with her or she gest pregnant.
    I just want to forget them foerver.
    Can Chris wrote an article about that kind of betrayal?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 4, 2017 at 2:53 pm