By Chris Seiter

Updated on August 9th, 2021

Man it’s been a long time since I have had a chance to write anything for Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

Though this time it actually can’t be chalked up to laziness on my part,

not lazy this time

You see, if the picture says so then it’s the truth!

Actually I have spent the last few weeks moving from here to here,

Screen Shot 2016-07-11 at 6.02.17 PM

My wife and I just bought our very first house and I can’t be more pumped (which I will make a big deal about in the episode.) For the first time in my life I will actually have a nice quiet office where I can sit back and grind away on content for you guys.

In other words, from this point on the content for Ex Boyfriend Recovery is going to be at another level.

It’s going to be more professional and consistent.

And this episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast” is going to be my first offering for putting the content that I have produced at another level.

What makes this episode different?

Simple, I paid a bunch of money to acquire this,


This is a picture of my brand new microphone in my brand new office.

(I still have to hang that picture up over there.)

Oh, and I also paid a company to custom design a mic flag for me for the microphone,

Screen Shot 2016-07-11 at 6.12.36 PM

Pretty cool, right?

Anyways, enough chit chat.

Let’s get down to business as today’s episode is going to feature a question I get asked a lot.

“Chris, what if I get unfriended on Facebook?”

Don’t believe me?

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Before I started writing this intro to the podcast I started looking through the comments that I had gotten in the past week and happened to stumble across these two women who mentioned that their exes had unfriended them on Facebook,

Screen Shot 2016-07-11 at 6.20.15 PM


Screen Shot 2016-07-11 at 6.21.28 PM

But like I said above I get asked the “Facebook unfriend” question quite a bit so I maybe became a bit desensitized towards answering it.

It wasn’t until I heard from Melanie, one of the callers into our podcast, that I started to realize that I should probably take some time to fully dive into the subject.

And now here we are!

This episode is all about helping you understand what it means when an ex boyfriend unfriends you on Facebook. What’s more, is it’s also perfect for those listeners who want a clear game plan of what to do next after being unfriended.

Here are a few of the things we cover in today’s episode:

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

What I Talk About In This Episode

  • The three aspects of the situation you need to look at
  • The three most common reasons for why your ex boyfriend unfriended you
  • What it means when he unfriends you
  • A study that you have to hear about (90% of people do this after a breakup.)
  • How to approach things going forward once you have been unfriended

Important Links Mentioned In This Episode

The Transcript Of This Episode

From now on we are going to be doing things a little bit differently. Instead of just having me copy and paste a podcast episode transcript here I am going to be formatting the transcripts for you in PDF format.

I really want you to be able to follow along as I talk.

Besides, I think a wall of white text is very unattractive and if I were to just post the podcast transcript below it would literally be a wall of white text.

Click Here To Download The Podcast Transcript


What to Read Next

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

81 thoughts on “EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?”

  1. [email protected]

    November 1, 2020 at 5:05 am

    Is there anyway I can speak to you my situation is completely and probably one you haven’t had before

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 1, 2020 at 10:44 am

      Hey A, you can post your situation here and I can advise you best I can, you would be surprised the wide range of situations we have experienced here.

  2. Sam

    May 8, 2020 at 4:39 am

    Hi my ex and I dated for a year. We started dating a few months after his divorce was finalized and a few months after I went through a bad breakup. I had more time to heal from my heartbreak. We were friends before we started dating and I loved that we built that connection before dating. We took things slow in our relationship. We never fought and got along great. We also work together. We made a really good team together. About 8 months into our relationship I told him I love him. He told me he wasn’t there yet and I told him not to worry that I understand and take his time. I told him that we’ve both been through a lot and I don’t want him to feel rushed just because I had said it. Work got really busy and then the COVID-19 happened and I saw he was becoming really stressed and distant. By the end of February I started to become a little clingy. I quickly realized it and backed off and only let him come to me (text and ask to hang out) and he did a lot which I thought things were turning around. Then he broke up with me (a few days before his wedding anniversary) because he’s not sure if he loves me or anyone, but he’s “very happy” with me, but he is afraid he will waste my time. I went into NC right after the break up 3 weeks ago. I’ve been focusing on myself and my mental health during this. I know I can move on if I really want to, but I do love him and think he’s made mistake. I’m currently working from home during COVID-19 while he’s at the office so I haven’t had any interaction with him. Coworkers have told me that just this week he started telling people he broke up with me and some have said he has told them he’s having a hard time with it. I haven’t posted anything on my social media, except this morning my mom tagged me in my parents wedding anniversary video I made for them. Tonight I noticed he unfriended me on Facebook and Instagram. His family and friends are still friends with me on Facebook and I actually got a few friend requests from his friends tonight. I have no plans on breaking NC even though it hurts, but I want him to come to me when he’s ready. I’m not sure what this means though and not sure if I have a chance of getting him back now. Is NC working?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 13, 2020 at 9:22 am

      Hi Sam, as long as you keep going as you are and working on your Holy Trinity then yes it has a chance to work. If his friends are adding you then there is your opportunity for sphere of influence right there. Choose wisely what you post on your social media, you need to portray you are doing well without your ex

  3. Eva

    April 8, 2018 at 4:56 pm

    So what about the third case mentioned in the podcast: He is so upset that he wants to nove on quickly and forget about you. What can one do in this case? (just started NC after being told to never text again. I was blocked before got unblocked and said thank you)
    He will be even more upset to see positive updates isn’t it?Because he is already annoyed.

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 10, 2018 at 4:05 am

      You probably have to do a combination of perception changes and taking him back to the high points of your relationship. Now, when I say “taking him back” I am referring to getting him there emotionally.

  4. BB

    November 25, 2017 at 8:09 pm

    Hi I started NC the day after he broke up with me. I am now day 11 NC. I have only been posting positive updates on FB. This morning after posting ” I’m so excited I cant sleep” he deactivated his FB account. What does this mean? some of my guy friends commented on the status? Is NC working?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 1:25 am

      Hi BB,

      yes it is.. that means he’s still affected with your posts.

  5. BB

    November 25, 2017 at 7:34 pm

    I’m on day 11 NC. Ive only been posting positive things on facebook. This morning i posted “im so excited i cant sleep” and he completely deactivated his FB after wards. what does this mean!!???

  6. Ev

    October 16, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    My ex unfriended me on fb yesterday, on day 19 of NC. He broke it off around 3-4 weeks ago. We were together 4 years and long distant for the most part since he’s in the military.
    Since NC, he contacted me about twice. He texted me an insignificant question. He tried to add me on sc, but i didn’t add him back. He posted something immature on fb that i can tell was targeted towards me. And he sent me a possible “drunk text”. I didn’t respond to any of it and all the while I’ve been positive on my fb, including a couple new friends (some male) and posting some pics. Btw each time he attempted to reach me, it was on a Sunday, including the day he unfriended me. So when all this happened he said he still wanted to be friends, so idk why he unfriended me. Though I honestly believe he did that to get a reaction outta me, to see how much I care about him, because I’ve never ignored him this much. Truth is, I DO care about him and we left on somewhat of a good note. I don’t want him to think I don’t care about him. Should I send him a text explaining to him that I do still care about him n understood why unfriended me? Or sort of a clean slate message?

  7. Ev

    October 16, 2017 at 7:33 pm

    Hi. I messaged on this site somewhere like a couple weeks ago but don’t remeber what page. Oh well.
    Anyway, my ex unfriended me on fb yesterday, on day 19 of NC. He broke it off around 3-4 weeks ago. We were together 4 years and long distant for the most part since he’s in the military.
    Since NC, he contacted me about twice. He texted me am insignificant question. He tried to add me on sc, but i didn’t add him back. He posted something on fb that i can tell was targeted towards me. And he sent me a possible “drunk text”. Idk if this means anything, but every time he tried to contact me itd be on a Sunday. Anyway I didn’t respond to any of it and all the while I’ve been positive on my fb, including a couple new friends (some male) and posting some pics. When all this happened he said he still wanted to be friends, so idk why he unfriended me. Though I honestly believe he did that to get a reaction outta me, to see how much I care about him, because I’ve never ignored him this much. Truth is, I DO care about him and we left on somewhat of a good note. I don’t want him to think I don’t care about him. Should I send him a text explaining to him that I do still care about him n understood why unfriended me? Or sort of a clean slate message?

    1. Ev

      October 18, 2017 at 1:56 am

      Ok. I don’t have an ultimatum though. I just plan on doing NC until he comes around with the hopes of rekindling our relationship. Meanwhile I’m just focusing on me and forgetting about him.
      I’m just wondering why he unfriended me, but didn’t block me. I have not been stalking him at all, just ignoring. Haven’t even been using FB much, but when I do it’s always for something positive. The fact that he was using it to get my attention just a week ago also adds to the weirdness.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 19, 2017 at 2:57 pm

      maybe to see if you would react..

    3. Ev

      October 17, 2017 at 2:16 am

      Thanks for the reply. Sorry about posting twice.
      After what, exactly?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2017 at 8:20 pm

      That’s ok.. After the nc period

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2017 at 12:32 am

      Hi Ev,

      Nope, just stick to your nc.. and then initiate contact after..

    6. Ev

      October 16, 2017 at 8:54 pm

      Oh no I posted twice cuz i thought it didn’t post the first time! U can go ahead n delete this one n reply to the second one.

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2017 at 12:33 am

      Hi Ev,

      Nope, just stick to your nc.. and then initiate contact after..

  8. Steph

    September 8, 2017 at 5:23 pm


    My ex split up with me nearly 3 months ago. I have been going no contact and apart from a couple of texts regarding our dog he has not tried to contact me. I have just realised this week that he has deleted me on facebook. It was such a shock and I didn’t expect him to do that, he doesn’t even use his profile actively. Is there any hope?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 13, 2017 at 12:08 pm

      Hi Steph,

      When and how long did you do nc? How much did you improve yourself and how active were you in posting? How much did you initiate contact to build rapport?

  9. jukz ato

    June 2, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    Hi I think I hurt my ex boyfriend taurus. At first I’m not in love with him that much and then one day when we were together he sees a message on my phone i cant remember what it was but its from my ex boyfriend gemini and i tried to contact my ex taurus to explain it further but he diverted my call and then 9 years passed i look at his facebook and apologize and he said it will take time and i tried to contact him again i think after 2 months and he said to me that he has forgiven me long time ago and then because i was so excited and definitely want to win him back, i send him poems and my ambition to be with him like im so desperate to have him back until i open up something that i have a different religion so both of us have different beliefs, with that being said he told me to change my religion and message him after or he will block me if i message him without changing my religion first. And so i explain my side of wanting him. I ask to pay a visit to a bible exposition because i want him to be with me forever and he said goodluck i replied ok good luck seems like we are both inclined in our separate beliefs and he sends me a laughing smiley and I asked what is it about. He messaged me -it seems like i am making him the one pursuing me. He also message me goodbye for good and im a DESPERATE!!! i want to explain to him that “goodluck to us” is my way to say parting ways for good since i see no hope for us as i dont want to change my religion for him and then suddenly i noticed i was blocked on fb.. i need to hear your advice since you are a taurus man yourself

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 2, 2017 at 7:45 pm

      Hi Juks,

      I”ll forward this to Chris but I cant assure you that he has the time to reply…if you dont want to change your religion and its a non-negotiable for the both of you, then you have to move on..

  10. JJ

    April 3, 2017 at 11:50 am

    Hi! I dont know if you remember me, but im the one with the over thinking ex.
    I was dating him for 4 months then broke up with me. Break up was 3 weeks ago, ive been in NC for 13 days then today, he unfriended me on Facebook. He wanted to stay friends after NC and he even wanted to meet my parents after the break up.

    Start of NC, he was liking my Facebook photos, a couple of days ago, he changed his prof pic and i didn’t bother liking or viewing his snaps. Today, he unfriended me and my friends on Facebook. Which do you think it could mean? He still has kept me on Snapchat and viewed my story snaps.

    Also, should i extend my 21 days to 30?

    Sorry, had to send this again with more info!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 4, 2017 at 11:23 am

      Hi Jj,

      yes you should extend it to 30 days.. It’s probably what Chris said it means in the podcast above.. so, just keep posting.

  11. Pippa

    December 17, 2016 at 7:03 pm

    My ex boyfriend hasn’t blocked me on FB even though I was the one who unfriended him as soon as we broke up. I tried to make things right a week later by sending him a friend request but he deleted it and marked the request as spam so I can’t re-send any future friend requests – I find that upsetting and wonder why he doesn’t just go ahead and block me. I’ve been sticking to NC and finish in a few days but the FB thing still bugs me. I haven’t looked at his profile in over a month – I don’t want to see if he’s met anyone new as I’d feel upset and be too likely to tell him that. What are your thoughts?

    1. Pippa

      December 30, 2016 at 2:16 pm

      Hi Amor, just thought I’d let you know that I did my 1st contact text after NC and it went ok. I asked him how his Christmas went and he replied immediately when I thought he’d keep me waiting. I kept it light and brief and he responded in a friendly manner too – more positive than I’d hoped for. I’ll leave it a couple of days before I send another text. I almost chickened out… NC ended 9 days before I eventually texted him, I was too worried about his reaction and wasn’t sure about going ahead with it but yesterday I did it. Next text coincides with New Year so that’ll be an easy light-hearted text and then I can put my plan into action – I’m looking long-term so that I can be sure things won’t go back to where we left off, it’s just a bit hard as I’m slightly impatient!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 30, 2016 at 3:28 pm

      Im happy for you! That’s good!

    3. Pippa

      December 24, 2016 at 5:41 pm

      Hi Amor, sorry my comment was duplicated on here and another part of the site, I seem to be having a few problems with leaving a post as if it disappears or hasn’t been posted at all? I’ve read the transcript where Chris talked about reasons why an ex unfriends you on FB and found it very interesting and seeing as he has the advantage of knowing the male viewpoint I can trust his reasoning.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2016 at 1:47 pm

      that’s good πŸ™‚ I see one previous post.. I’m not sure if you another one before or after that..

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 21, 2016 at 12:44 am

      Hi Pippa,

      Yes, more likely he would still look. Especially if he gets curious because you’ve been silent. And yes, you should try a text that doesn’t just require a yes or no reply. Do you agree on the probably reason why an ex unfriends you on the article Chris wrote?

  12. Mel

    October 17, 2016 at 9:49 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I broke up with my ex(ish) about a month ago – it was a mutual agreement to move apart as he didn’t want to move things forward and I didn’t want to wait around. To keep it short, basically I was being quite cold to him for maybe a week after that happened. And after I read a few articles of yours, I thought I needed the NC. In the first week of NC, he still texted me, rang me, sent email to me – but all were ignored of course. Then one day he asked me on FB if he had the correct number for me because he failed to get in touch, and then the next day he deleted me on FB. Then a week later, he added me back on FB but I’ve just left it there like that as i’m still going through NC and want to stay focused on my personal development. I don’t understand what he’s trying to do – thought he met someone and moved on, but then why added me back quite quickly after unfriending me? What is your opinion?

    Annoyingly, I do still have feelings for him.


    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 18, 2016 at 8:06 pm

      Hi Mel,

      I think he was emotional when he unfriended you and he realized that. so he added you back again

  13. mary

    September 2, 2016 at 11:46 pm

    do you think i`ts possible to recover an ex after one year? he unfriended me and we haven`t talked in 8 months, i have his baby btw lol but he dont want anything

    1. mary

      October 7, 2016 at 10:16 pm

      i said are you cris? he said yeah then i hung up the phone like an idiot lol i was scared,, but..of what he is tired ? i don`t know what to do next.. should i wait he text again ?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 10, 2016 at 1:39 pm

      Hmm.. I think he thinks you’re angry because you hung up the phone.. if you want, you can initiate a text.. start with saying, that if he wants to see his child, he’s welcome to do so.. just say when and where..

    3. mary

      October 6, 2016 at 5:36 am

      he believes that you can only have babies when you are married,, and like we used to fight a lot ..he was not gonna marry me…he is very closed minded and i was very stupid and weird back then. i have changed and improved myself a lot, i did everything what this site says and the book . just that i never text him again but anyway he texted me 2 days ago after almost 1 year of no contact he texted me saying I`m tired..i said who is this? he didnt answer so next day i called the number and was him .. what you think that means?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 7, 2016 at 5:12 pm

      that’s a good sign.. I hope he’s feeling guilt of abandoning your and his child.. what did he say when he answered?

    5. mary

      September 3, 2016 at 10:24 pm

      well i know that lol but my question is if is possible to recover an ex even knowing that?, i mean i dont wanna think everybody can but no me lol .. right now i`m a single mom and i wanna know if there is a way he stop being scared or something i can do so he get interested again or curious at least and comeback thanks πŸ™‚

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 4, 2016 at 8:53 pm

      In all honesty, in your case, there’s a small possibility. You said he’scared? Why is that?

      Because if is just scared, that’s different compared to him not really wanting to see his child because of something else.
      Your child is your connection to him, so because of your child, there’s a big possibility that you will see him someday and then slowly, very slowly, build rapport and attraction with him again.

      First step is to answer why doesn’t he want to come back to you and your baby?

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 3, 2016 at 5:50 pm

      Hi Mary,

      When you said you have his baby, and yet he’s not contacting you, that changed what I was supposed to say.. If he doesnt have the spine or decency to see or even talk to his own child, it’s less likely that he will talk to you..

  14. Kerensa Okano

    August 14, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    My ex and I were together for 4 years. We were very happy. We never really fought just our normal little fights, we were best friends and just inseparable. I couldn’t have found a better man to be my soul mate. And we started living together on our 3rd year of being together (2015) on March 2016 I decided that we needed break from each other and ended our relationship. It was the hardest thing we have ever gone through especially we were still living together. We both saw other people during the time we still lived together and on June we moved back to our home towns. We still kept in contact but we fought all the time and our last fight is what ended our communication all together. He expressed to me that he was still very angry about the breakup and how I started seeing a new guy back when we lived together. He also mentioned that he needed his space and time alone.
    I gave him the time (one month but we’ve been back home for 2 months now) but we still needed to communicate since I had his cat. We talked once every 2 weeks only about his cat.
    Couple of days ago when I talked to him, I asked if we were civil again and he said yes and that we’re fine.

    Just today I noticed that our pictures on Instagram were deleted.

    I still love him very much and on our last fight he mentioned that it doesn’t mean we’re over or that he’s giving up. “If we’re mean to be, it’ll happen. Just give me my space and time”

    I don’t know what else to do from here.
    Please help!!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 16, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      Hi Kerensa,

      start limited no contact.. only update him about his cat and then don’t talk about feelings or relationships and just focus in yourself.. reconnecting and making new friends, improving yourself, and healing.. you should do 45 days

  15. Julia

    August 11, 2016 at 9:58 am

    Hi, I’m wondering if I can unfollow my ex on Instagram. On facebook, you can unfollow without unfriending him so that you don’t need to see his posts, likes he did and friends he added. But things are not the same on Instagram. Me and my ex are following each other, but I really don’t want to see his posts, likes and his friends he added on Instagram. There are no options that I don’t see. Should I stop using it? Or is it okay to unfollow him right now and wait to follow him again until I get over everything or get back together with him? Thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 12, 2016 at 9:02 am

      It’s ok to unfollow him but make your account public to non followers and what’s your plan now? Are you going to restart no contact or continue talking to him until he leaves and then start no contact by then? or just continue to talk?

  16. Corey

    August 8, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    Hi, I have been scouring the website (which is so helpful by the way) for help with my current situation but can’t seem to find anything similar… My bf of nearly 4 years ended things suddenly without warning. We had been planning to move in together, and had bought quite a few household things between us. I am on day 28 of NC, he has text me a couple of times about wanting to split our things up and sort out our joint Netflix subscription etc. When he broke up with me he said there was no rush to do it and now he seems to be keen to sort it out ASAP – it’s like he’s trying to get rid of every trace of me. I haven’t replied to him yet but what should I do? I jut don’t know what’s going on in his head or how I should deal with it πŸ™

    1. Corey

      August 17, 2016 at 10:14 pm

      Hello again Amor, my ex waited 4 days before replying to my text about splitting up our stuff. It was another cold emotionless message and now he is making things difficult – trying to keep something we bought that I chose and he knows I love. I just don’t know how to respond, I still love him so much but I feel like I don’t know who this person is any more… Any advice appreciated, you’ve been so helpful. X

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 19, 2016 at 9:22 am

      even if it’s hard, don’t be angry.. you’ll just validate his actions if you get angry. So, be patient and be calm. Be the mature one and be civil with him..

    3. Corey

      August 13, 2016 at 11:12 am

      Hi Amor, I know I said I was going to contact him about splitting up our stuff and I tried but I just couldn’t put it into words without getting upset so I still haven’t spoken to him. I am now on 35 days of NC and am wondering if I might be in a better place to speak to him after some more time? It is really difficult for me, as he only lives 30 seconds from my house so I see him frequently on the road and we have a mutual friend. I feel like her loyalty lies with him (they have been friends longer) and he is spending all his time with her at the moment. She has barely made any effort to see me. I also saw him today and waved at him but he just ignored me which really hurt. I feel lost and lonely at the moment. X

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 14, 2016 at 6:42 pm

      well, don’t rush it.. it’s okay to take some time

    5. Corey

      August 9, 2016 at 2:19 pm

      Thanks so much for your suggestions, I will contact him today and arrange to meet him purely to split up our stuff, I will try and keep it brief and won’t mention the breakup. I’ll go back into NC straight after and hope that helps!

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 8, 2016 at 2:59 pm

      Hi Corey,
      well, right now you have to talk to him about the stuff..split it up and be civil.. I think you should do 45 days before trying initiate contact with him

  17. Confused

    August 6, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    Hi guys,

    First off I have been reading a lot of the content on this site and it has really helped a lot! As of right now I am currently almost done with no contact, day 26 to be exact. However, my ex recently just blocked me on Facebook and Instagram! I noticed on Instagram that his post number went up and so I got curious and made a fake Instagram account to see what the new picture is, because his profile is public. It was a picture of him and another girl… I was shocked and horrified. We broke up only a little under 2 months ago, and he continued to talk to me after. It wasn’t bad so I still talked to him. But after some thinking for a couple weeks, I realized that I don’t want to be friends, like we discussed when we broke up. So I came across this site and immediately read about No Contact and put it into action. Right now I feel like he is very upset with me that I haven’t talked to him and I am also not sure about this other girl. Before we dated it took us two months of talking to finally post our first picture together. My guess is he just met this girl a couple weeks ago, which is when he deleted our pictures together and to me that makes sense. Please HELP! He broke up with me so I don’t understand how he can be so upset about me not talking to him…

    1. Confused

      August 8, 2016 at 4:46 am

      Right now is a very busy time of my life because I’m trying to get my future together. So in a way yes I am. The no contact period has definitely helped me focus. It’s probably for the best that we’re separated right now because I do need to focus. But once I get everything together I do want another chance with him. And okay I will read it! Thank you!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 8, 2016 at 2:02 pm

      you’re welcome!

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 7, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      Hi Confused,

      I think she’s a rebound.. have you improved yourself? and you need to read this one: How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Is In A Rebound Relationship. How Long Will It Last?

  18. Sonya

    July 30, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    Hi there. Could you please advice me if he’s a player and analysis of the situation. Dated a guy 5 years ago. He pursued me in a bar and took me for brunch next day, he was decent sweet then took we went on many more dates. He went out of his way getting Rihanna tickets when I just told him I’m a fan. He’s a businessman and every date he planned picked me up and took me home. After 6 dates we got more intimate but we never had sex. He was patient and I never felt pushed.

    We broke up after few months. We both were immature and I was a bit of a spoilt brat then. Demanded more attention and he was a busy business guy making money and I was a student.

    He came after me a year later. We got back same butterfly feelings and we felt so connected. Same issue of him being busy broke up in few months.

    I moved on and 3 yrs later he got back with me contacted me in Valentine’s. Pursued me. He was honest he has a son now and full time dad. His ex he only knew for 3 months and she left after baby born and he’s taking care. He has a full time nanny and he’s become even more successful sbd has his own business.

    We live now in different cities. 4 hrs away. We met in capital city and it was my bday day before. He took me shopping bought me Chanel bag and took me finest French cause that’s my favourite. We connected again and he apologised about the past. We had sex for the first time in all the 5 yrs.

    Then he came 4 hrs drive to see me in my city. I arranged a villa and we went golfing and then to the beach. Fun filled day. We were intimate and even more connected. Sent me a long msg appreciating what I did.

    He was going to Dubai week after with his son and he was also moving houses so he was super busy. But he did realise he wasn’t as attentive. I did ask him where we stand if he wantdc something serious.

    He says I have a son Job and moving houses. As much as I want more and spend more time considering the distance as well we better leave the relathonship thing away for now. Wish you the best.

    So I was upset and then 4 days after I was so angry with him. So sent him pics of me in Miami

    That was actually my last years holiday. I did that since I was emotional and wantd to make him think I moved on. In reality I was home crying for him. So he was like so you break up with me and the shoot of to Miami. I said what I never broke up? You did. He’s like I never did you gave me silent treatment and ran away. I told you I have a son and can’t give full on relathonship at this moment.

    But he hurt me more and I sent a pic with my good looking ex bf and said he’s more of a man than you.

    He’s like oh so your upset with me and fuck another man. So we fought for next week. He’s on a flight to uk from Dubai and he’s stll fighting with me. He’s supper mad and upset.

    We manage to talk thru things and we are back together. I did tell him that was an old pic of ex and we don’t talk and I’m only interested in us. 3 months go but he was in between moving houses and he’s full time dad on weekends. We stll had mini break ups but he always reached out either him or me apologising.

    But 3 weeks ago, he went crazy. He’s very moody one minute he wants me then suddenly he says goodbye then reaches out again.

    Wtf is he reaching out in 3 yrs? Why me? He can find chicks locally if he’s looking for fun and games and he’s successful. Why have to travel to come see me.

    We were flirting that day and I sent him a pic which reminded him of Miami and he’s like so you send pics to other men rught. All your men in Miami? I’m like dude my past included my ex bf whom I dated long distance but we broke up. Since you I’ve only been dating you,

    He accused me being player and I’m playing games and he can’t get it out of his head. And he knows we moved forward but stll bothering him. So he said he will block me.

    Then a week later I texted him and he blocked me. Two days later I can see his whatsapp online. He unblocked me

    Why is he behaving this way if he wants nothing to do with me? Surely he’s seeing my pics.

    So is he a narcissus player? Why is he so jealous?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 31, 2016 at 3:33 pm

      Hi Sonya,

      what was the photo? when you said you wanted to remind of Miami, is that an activity you did in Miami?
      Because instead of that, he misinterpreted it, and remembered the one you sent with your ex..
      I think he really likes you but his lifestyle and your lifestyle just doesn’t match.. he’s schedule is very busy and you live far away..

  19. AG

    July 29, 2016 at 6:15 am

    I had dated my ex-boyfriend for 3 years. During that time, we both suffered a lot due to my ex-husband dragging me through court over and over again. My ex-boyfriend did the best he could to support me through that but over time, he became more and more critical and he began spending time away from me and I became more and more depressed. My depression led to a big drop in my self-esteem, significant weight gain and I began to avoid spending time with him. When he broke up, he said that it seemed our relationship “could never really begin” and that things were always “on hold” because of the court battles I was dealing with. He told me he wanted to get married but felt that he could never talk about it with me because of the things I was dealing with. Ironically, 2 weeks after we broke up, all the court drama abruptly ended due to the judge making a decision in my case. I began taking care of myself; I lost a lot of weight, got my hair done, new wardrobe, etc. Initially, he contacted me twice and I replied to those texts in a “polite” way (this was two months after break up). I had said I missed him once in a text one week after break up and then I didn’t say it again (he did not reply to that text). I learned from friends that he was rebounding with a couple of women. I found that to be a real turn off and discouraging. I would see him at a distance at social events from time to time, but no contact or conversation occurred. In May, we were at the same social event in another state (this would have been almost a year later after break up) and he acted very friendly; wanted to know all about what I was doing, sat next to me all weekend, etc. He acted like he did when we were dating. But I could tell there was an “emotional wall” there; like as if he was not prepared to go all in. So when he asked me to go up to his hotel room with him, I told him no. On the last day of the social event, I told him I would be friendly and say hi when I see him in public, but that I didn’t want to be his friend. He told me, “do whatever you have to do to protect your feelings”. I thanked him for being there for me when I was going through those court battles, told him I knew he was suffering and unhappy during all that, and I told him I didn’t regret our relationship, no matter how it turned out. I found out later he was (and is) in a relationship and that there may have been a temporary break in that relationship when he approached me in May. I would have married this man if he had asked me; when I met him, I was ready to be done with dating anyone else and I was ready to commit to him. Even though I have done a lot to improve myself, I find little to no interest in other men. I have dated but it is a challenge for me emotionally because my heart had “settled down” even if physically that didn’t happen. It is difficult for me knowing that he has a girlfriend. I know from mutual friends that she lives 5 1/2 hours away, so I haven’t had to deal with the reality of it thus far. And he doesn’t even talk about her (he still approaches me socially to talk). Should I just give up any hope now that he has a girlfriend?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 29, 2016 at 4:44 pm

      HI Ag,

      you can try to continue to build rapport but set your expectations.. either you just build rapport until you can attract him back, or let go for now and just focus on yourself and then maybe when the time is right reconnect again

  20. Amber

    July 28, 2016 at 4:08 am

    Hi guys, I’ve been following all your advice from day one. I’ve been doing NC without fail…but I’m wondering if theres any special advice since it was a brand new relationship. We had just started dating…should no contact be the whole month when we only dated 2 months altogether? We broke up for a silly reason.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 29, 2016 at 10:53 am

      HI Amber,

      if it was a general break up, you can just do 2-3 weeks.

1 2