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127 thoughts on “How To Treat Your Ex Boyfriend Who Dumped You”

  1. w

    January 10, 2018 at 4:57 am

    Hi Amor, it’s not true that i wont change. But the problem is i dont know what can i change. It’s not something very objective where you i change easily like cheapskate or simply throwing tantrum or anything. He just mentioned to me the way i talk like it would somehow affect him when he is with his friends. He said wtv i do will affect him and he dint want to be affected. Maybe this is the reason why he say he still love me but cant get back tgt… I brought him negative things more than compliment and especially when he wants face alot. What can i do now Amor?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 11, 2018 at 5:37 pm

      Frankly, that means you’re immature or to invested in him.. You have to have your own life and to be indifferent and mature.. That goes with any relationship whoever you’re with.. if he says you have different core values, then you have to move on.

  2. Lis

    January 9, 2018 at 6:45 pm

    I was dating a guy for almost one year.. things were awesome until he assumed a new project at his company and had to travel overseas often. He started to be super stressed and communicate poorly, but was still super sweet and caring. Last week, after talking a little about how to deal with the distance (its a 2 years project) he said he couldn’t handle the stress and be worried about me all the time altogether, that he would probably regret this later, but at this moment he thought it wasn’t fair he couldn’t give me the proper time or attention. At the same minute, i accepted and proceed with no contact. All of this happened trough text messages. I really think timing wasn’t in our favor, and i am not sure how to treat him or how long should i keep the no contact as i know in 30 days his project situation will not change… can you please give me some advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 11, 2018 at 4:53 pm

      Hi Lis,

      The nc rule is not for him to change. It’s for you to be less emotional, more rational and to start a new routine that you will maintain after nc while you slowly build rapport. And in your case follow this one:
      If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together

  3. Shere

    January 9, 2018 at 12:02 am

    I texted my boyfriend on New Year’s eve to see if we had any plans. He replied “No ma’am!!!” I replied “Do you want to do anything with me?” A few days prior while on the way to his parents for Christmas we had a disagreement and didn’t talk for a few days. He said, “No.”
    So , I asked him “Are you breaking up with me?”
    He said yes.

    I asked why and he said because of the disagreement and because I opted not to watch a movie with him a few days prior. First he left and only came back with dinner for one. Then he started it without me while I went to go get food for me
    . He said it was because he saw I had a bowl of chilli earlier. I think it was because he didny want to pay for me. As of late he’s brought that up a lot. The disagreement is that he felt that I shouldn’t ask him for any help ($) while we are dating. I disagreed. We’ve been dating a year and a half. A month or so ago he started saying no when I asked for almost any kind of help including walking my dog. When asked, he said I didn’t owe him an explanation. I was laid off and was working part-time until my full time job started. I started feeling inadequate. I’m normally very independent.

    Side note: I am treated for depression and anxiety and tried explaining this too him – he’s on team ” it’s because I’m overdramatic “.
    He dismisses it. I’ve been taking my medicine regularly since I started a year and a half ago, but readily admit I am more emotional than average.

    Anyway he dumped me by text on New Year’s eve. I asked if we could hang out. He said he was not in the city. We talked about going together at Christmas. So, he left without telling me. I only knew because I texted him about whether we had plans. I haven’t heard from him in a week.

    Today he texts Hey!!! How are you?

    My first reaction is not to respond, but, I still have his house keys…

    I forgot about anything I left at his house.

    I still haven’t responded.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 10, 2018 at 6:17 pm

      Hi Shere,

      that’s good that you didn’t respond. Stick to nc and be active in improving yourself and in posting.

  4. Lia

    January 8, 2018 at 6:09 pm

    So something weird has happened to me and I don’t really know how to behave. This is going to be a longer post, so please bear with me if you can. Actual advice on this would be greatly appreciated!

    Last year right around this time, after having been treated really unlovingly by a guy who I had been dating for a few months, I went through emotional turmoil. I managed to get my life back together and after a few months I was ready to start dating again.
    In August last year I had a big trip to South East Asia planned but just a few days before that one of my ex coworkers who is closely involved in my group of friends and whom I had previously seen almost every week asked me out on a casual date. We had a lot of fun and continued to message each other every now and then during my 2 month trip to Asia.
    After I came back in October, he was the first person I hung out with and we sort of rushed into a thing without actually dating for a long period of time (we ended up having sex after a mutual friends birthday party).
    After that I dialed back a lot because I felt like I could be ruining our friendship and possible getting the chance to date a great guy without getting to know him, so I told him directly that I wasn’t looking for anything casual and that I wanted to either really date or leave it be.
    He agreed and we went on a few normal dates without getting intimate for a few dates. When we started having sex again, it felt very intimate and loving and we continued seeing each other once every week because we’re both on tight schedules.
    We went on fun dates and I really enjoyed my time with him but then I did something stupid. After a month of dating, I lashed out at him in the morning when he didn’t kiss me goodbye in public (even though he had done so before).
    Looking back, I think it was very immature of me because I didn’t communicate to him that I wanted to make it official and instead I just got angry when he didn’t figure it out by himself after only having dated for a month.
    I apologized the same day via Whatsapp memo and he sent one back explaining that I shouldn’t feel bad and that my reaction was natural but he also explained that we weren’t in a relationship.
    I told him that I understood but that if he didn’t want that to be the case, I could not continue seeing him like I was and we both agreed that it would be best to talk it out face to face.
    However we never got to do that because he grew quite distant and I was getting the impression that he was pulling a slow fade (in his defense, I have to say that he was also in his two weeks exam period and was studying a lot). We only texted twice in these two weeks as I was very busy too and I wanted to give him some space to miss me.

    When he finally messaged me I declined his offer to go out in order to make myself “rare” (advice I stupidly followed from a dating advice page ahahaha).
    I then texted him a few days later, jokingly asking if he planned on taking me out on a date anytime soon to which he responded “absolutely I meant to, but you were busy”.
    I told him that we could hang out on the weekend but he had his brother in law stay at his apartment for a week and said he didn’t know if he could make time so I just told him that it made me sad that we hadn’t seen each other in three weeks and that things weren’t working for me.

    I told him to call me on Christmas so we could speak but he didn’t so I finally called him after Christmas and he seemed very upset over the phone (I’m guessing he know that the break up was coming).
    I told him that I really liked hanging out with him but I just couldn’t deal with his distance right now and that I was scared of what would happen if we continued seeing each other. I also told him that I would have liked to talk it out in person but since he never reached out to me, I didn’t know how else to address it.
    He was really angry at first and finally ended up hanging up on me, after telling me that he only wanted to be friends, after I asked him whether or not he actually wanted to continue seeing me.

    I sent him a Whatapp memo after this and told him that I am not angry that he doesn’t want a relationship with me but that I was hurt at the way in which he treated me while at the same time saying that I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings either and that I still greatly value him as a friend (which I do to this day). I finally told him that I liked him a lot but that I didn’t want someone that doesn’t know what he wants and that I cannot be friends with him right now and that we both needed some space from each other. He messaged me back and thanked me for my message, saying that he would use this time in order to think about what he actually wanted and that he hopes that I will do well. We didn’t talk again after that.

    Fast forward to this Saturday. I knew he would attend a mutual friends birthday party and decided that bad blood wasn’t worth it. A lot of our friends, including his female cousin to which I am very close too, know about the stuff that went down between us and all of them said that we both acted stupidly and it should not have ended like that.
    When I saw him at the party, it was awkward at first but after I greeted him, we seemed to both be enjoying ourselves.

    Until I saw him sitting alone in some corner, drinking a glas of whiskey and smoking. After debating myself whether or not I should go up to him, I decided to talk to him and ask him how he was doing and he quite honestly answered that he wasn’t doing so well and that the whole thing has been messing with his head.
    He then asked me how my life had been to which I could only answer that a lot of positive changes have happened and that I was doing really well and that I had wanted to talk to him about it, but I didn’t feel like it was a good idea.
    He seemed really glad for me and we talked a lot about his exams and of the fact that he had felt very stressed and he finally opened up to me about one of his best friends recently having been diagnosed with cancer and him feeling very lost the past few weeks.
    I felt bad but I didn’t want to spend too much time dwelling after listening for a while I headed off. However we didn’t really stop seeking each other the whole night – he bought be a drink, I bought him one and so on and finally, after my initiation, we went outside and I told him I wanted to talk serious for a minute.
    We talked about how he had asked me in the beginning of dating, why I was so scared of relationships and I explained that this was the exact reason and that I regretted not having taken more time to actually get to know him. He agreed and said that he felt bad for making me doubt myself and not reaching out to me enough and not communicating in general. He then said that he was very insecure in relationships too and that they scare him just as much.
    We ended the talk on a more positive note and continued partying with our friends until we left.
    I had my longboard with me and had meant to ride it back home but when I was about to leave, he came after me and asked me to show teach him how to ride it. We spent a good and fun half an hour of attempting that and then walked back home for another 40 minutes during which he talked the whole time about plans that he had for his career and stuff that he wanted to reach in life and the motivation that keeps him going. All in all I thought it was a really deep and nice conversation and it really reminded me of how we used to be as friends and how much I missed that friendship but also him as my partner..
    We hugged goodbye and I left and we haven’t spoken or texted since but the more I think about it, the more I feel like reaching out.

    I don’t know if this is just me being desperate for intimacy or if I genuinely feel like we both let each other escape because we were scared of getting hurt/hurting each other and not really ready for anything serious. I want to try to be friends with him first and actually get to know him on a much more personal level, before deciding if I want to date him again but I don’t know how to make this clear to him without scaring him off so soon after our “break up”..

    I don’t know if I should hope for him to reach out or if I should show him that I want to see him again – party of me wants to wait and the other part once to tell him that his friendship is greatly missed. My friends are divided on their advice too but I guess they are biased in some way since they all know him.

    I’m really angry at myself for trying to force him into a relationship without actually getting to know him on that level first and also at lashing out because I was scared of getting hurt again, even though he is definitely not the same person as the last guy is.
    But I’m also angry at him for not being more mature and knowing what he wants or deciding not to communicate that to me. I don’t even know if I would prefer having my friend back or prefer to get another chance at dating him and actually seeing at where things will head that time. I’m afraid of a Ross & Rachel type of situation.

    Thank you so much for reading through all of this mess, advice is greatly appreciated! (:

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 10, 2018 at 1:28 am

      HI Lia,

      it was not wrong to decline his invite after him being distant but the better option was to decline at that day and then offer an alternative day that you’re good to go out. Well, it looks like you can restart slowly building rapport

  5. L

    January 7, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    Hi Amor, what if im the lck one ? And i ended up wanting him back but he doesnt because he claims that somethings couldnt be changed ? What can i actually do .

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2018 at 9:45 pm

      Is it true that you’re not going to change?

  6. Blue

    January 7, 2018 at 6:42 am

    Over one year ago my ex broke with me.
    My ex & I were in a 5 year long distance relationship, . He broke with me after he quit his job and his financial situation was really bad. I tried No Contact for 30 days. Then I resumed a contact by email, he was friendly, but that was it. Then, I stopped emailing him for 2 months. Last spring, out of the sudden he sent me short email “What’s up”, I answered & he never followed up again. I waited 2 months, sent him a b-day wishes, but again, he never answered.
    I never stopped chasing him online. He deleted his facebook account 2 months after breakup. Thought last year I checked almost everyday if he reopened it. Finally 2 months ago he opened a new account.. I sent him a friend request. Next morning I found out he accepted it. When I wanted to see his facebook page, I realized he already unfriended me. I have feeling he was only curious & wanted to see my fb account. I sent him a friend request again & this time he blocked me. Last week I noticed that he deleted his facebook account again.
    I must be obsessed. I can’t stop thinking about my ex. I know I really want him back. I don’t dare to send him email, esp after he blocked me. Do I even have a chance to get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2018 at 8:45 pm

      Hi Blue,

      To be honest, I think you should move on..

  7. Elissa M

    January 5, 2018 at 10:05 pm

    EBR Team Member: Amor

    January 5, 2018 at 9:44 pm

    Hi Elissa,

    If you just want to be friends, then to be frank you have to set your expectations lower because being friendly doesn’t mean he has an obligation to reply to you because you’re the one who wants to be more friendly and not him.. he probably doesn’t want you to expect much or mislead you by being too friendly.

    I was happy being friends for all that time because I had figured he was completely fine without me and going back to friends was as good as it was going to get. But recently the texts went from friendly/flirty to heavy flirty/even some downright sexual. I really did love this person and so I’m afraid of being played here so should NC just be my best bet at this point? He’s definitely managed to awaken the old feelings in me and then since he stopped answering to be honest I feel like I did something wrong. Is coming right out and saying that I don’t want to be played with emotionally just a bad idea?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 8, 2018 at 6:41 pm

      It is because it can be misinterpreted and he might think you’re angry.. Maybe he’s stopped talking to you, so he doesn’t lead you on more.. So, the better action right now is to let him be, give each other space, let him initiate and if he becomes flirty again and you can’t handle being friendly flirty with him, stop being friendly with him anymore…

  8. Ka

    January 4, 2018 at 3:36 am

    Hello. I appreciated your website. My ex fiance and I were together close to 2 years. He just broke up with me on Christmas day. I was so hurt it surprised even me because due to our fighting I was starting to really want to end it myself. But I saw a lot of good in him and thought maybe we could work it out. Since Christmas I have gone through the process of a break up. Grief, anger, hot and cold emotions. This entire time my ex became very nice and “caring” but it started confusing me so I went cold and stopped contact. I admit, I’m starting to feel ok. But on the flip side he has been contacting me non stop since the break up. The less and less I respond, the more he seems to contact me. This is not a game for me and honestly I’m kind of upset because it feels like a cat and mouse. So do I think he cares about me? Sometimes. So I think he is playing me? Sometimes. The last conversation we had, he was angry and said I don’t even try to fix things. I was shocked! I cried and embarrassed myself when he initially broke up with me and said how much I loved him and wanted us to work. He was so cold towards me. I tried a couple other conversations but he acted so arrogant after the last I initiated that I just accepted the decision right then and there internally and left. Hurt like the dickens! Now he keeps calling me and I’m getting tired of this all. I don’t want to be put through that pain again only for him to say at the end of the day that he doesn’t want to be together. So, how can I let go and live without that tug inside that says maybe THIS time around he WILL want me back and it will Work?


    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 9:51 pm

      HI Ka,

      If you meant you’re moving on.. just don’t answer him and take it one day at a time.. the hurt will not disappear in just one day or one month.. slowly over time, it will.

  9. Kelly

    January 4, 2018 at 3:13 am

    My situation is a little reversed. I broke up with my ex. I was going through some issues and decided to go see a therapist for help and told him I needed space to work through my issues. This was 5 months ago. I got the ick for him and told him not to contact me anymore. I went a total of 30 days no contact, during which he continually texted me saying he missed me. In late November I finally replied to one of his texts which were much of the same, saying he thinks about me all the time, he misses me. Meanwhile, I see on facebook he has a new girlfriend, which is understandable considering we have been broken up for about 5-6 months. (I hadn’t seen him in about 4 months because I really wanted to focus on changing my life in therapy and needed time to myself to figure out what I wanted. I decided it was time to see him since he had been asking (he still has the girlfriend), we decided to be friends, but he says he can’t be just my friend, we continue to hang out, and then we went for drinks after the 6th time we hung out and unfortuantely ended up sleeping together, He told me he had been having lots of issues with his girlfriend and sadly it just happened. Now, I want him back but they are still together. I’m not sure what to do now, I unfortunately got a little emotional and told him over text I thought we should stop hanging out considering I was getting feelings for him and he has a girlfriend and I thought it wasn’t right to continue hanging out. He texted New years day saying happy new years I miss you. But, I think I ruined my chances by telling him we shouldn’t hang out anymore and am kind of not sure what to do now! Especially since he has a girlfriend. Is this all just too messy to get back into?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 9:50 pm

      Hi Kelly,

      You did the right thing because you’re showing him that you have standards and you respect his gf enough to stop what you were doing.. yes, restart nc and do 21-30 days..

  10. Elissa Murray

    January 3, 2018 at 10:31 pm

    I was left a few months ago by my most recent ex. It’s actually the ex before him-we’ll call him L- that is my problem. He broke up with me over text a few years ago when we had a communications breakdown and I felt his breaking up with me then was a reaction to realizing how attached he was getting when he couldn’t reach me right away and he was going to get out of it before he got too hurt. We had previously talked everyday.
    I did no contact for a long time and then we began talking as friends and it was fine as we had been friends through work for a few years before dating. It stayed friendly but lately his messages have become more and more flirty. I got over him a long time ago but I still hold some affection for him as we were friends and then partners. Now he has stopped contact completely and I reached out once since I figured it takes two people to keep conversations going but he responded once and then stopped. I haven’t responded since and find myself bewildered by this weird behavior and can only assume our friendship has changed again because I’m now single. My recent relationship was not good by the end so I’m not sad about it ending and I wonder if he has taken note of that. At this point I’m not trying to get him back (though not gonna lie we had a great relationship so it’s not a horrible idea in my mind if it were to head that way eventually ) I need time to heal myself from the last ex but I would be disappointed if recent life changes mean I can’t maintain a friendship with L anymore because he can’t decide if that’s what he wants or more than that. I don’t need my head to get played with anymore than it already has been and figure I can get better perspective from someone who isn’t involved in all this.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 9:44 pm

      Hi Elissa,

      If you just want to be friends, then to be frank you have to set your expectations lower because being friendly doesn’t mean he has an obligation to reply to you because you’re the one who wants to be more friendly and not him.. he probably doesn’t want you to expect much or mislead you by being too friendly.

  11. P.B

    January 2, 2018 at 8:07 pm

    Thank you Amor. Yes, I wanted to wish him happy new year as my final text before NC. That’s why I didn’t keep texting after his answer. So I’m already in NC, day 2. And it’s harder than the first time because then he was being distant and cold with me but now… But I know that this is the only way. My biggest fear is, as I always say, “the other women”, I feel that I need to be better than anyone he could meet and soooo perfect that he doesn’t mind the distance. So, super-super-super charged UG. It’s going to be hard but this is the only way.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 6:51 pm

      there will always be someone better, so, you have to remember, that you just need to be your best self for yourself..

  12. Ly Ann

    January 2, 2018 at 6:06 am

    Hi Ms.Amor,
    So this is how my story goes, my ex boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6years. We’ve been together since highschool. We have the same birthday. He’s my soulmate! We’re now both on 4th year college and both 20 yrs old. Our relationship had a bitter-sweet start. We were both so young and hasty when we started our relationship. I’m his first girlfriend, and he’s my first boyfriend as well. He’s my first love. My everything. Eventually we both had millestones in our separate lives, he was busy with studies and his hobbies, while i was busy with my businesses and school.

    I thought it was all going well, when that night of Dec.5,2017, we argued due to his jealousy about me going home late at night due to my business. And that my guy friends would drive me home to ensure my safety. He was always jealous about every guy friend i have. And i always remind him that it’s not like i’m going to replace him, i mean duh?! He’s the love of my life. He thinks i cheated on him, even when i really didn’t. So during that night, we argued, and he suggested that we took a break from our relationship, at first he suggested a cool off, and i agreed coz during that time we were both emotional(or maybe i was just the only one being emotional) he told me he just wants to find himself, be more closer to God, lessen his sexual desires for me, he wants to lessen his jealous attitude. He also suggested that we both should date other people, in order to discover how it feels like with other people, but he promised me that he will come back to me. He just wants to figure himself out. I believed him. He also told me he’s already started txting a girl(he mentioned the name)but just for his COMPANION and someone he can talk to. We both agreed that we would still contact each other, but just not sweet anymore. But during that period of Dec.15-18 , i contacted him but he doesn’t reply. I thought of really giving him the space he wanted but why won’t he just reply me? So i began going insane, trying to figure out what is happening. I started chatting him non-stop, and then he replied to me, told me i was selfish, that why couldn’t i just respect his decision, so he said that becoz of my selfishness he came up with a decision to just really BREAK UP WITH ME, he said he doesn’t wan’t me anymore, he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, that he just only want to be friends. He deactivated his facebook acct. and already told his family and friends that we’re over.

    And Just yesterday i found out that he created a new fb acct. and the girl he was txting with, they both had the same profile picture, so what does that mean? Are they only trying to take revenge on me? Trying to make me feel jealous? I don’t want him to be with that girl, maybe he’ll fall for her and getting me out of his life completely.

    But i don’t want to be friends. I still love him so much, i’m still willing to do anything just to get him back in my arms. What do i do? Please help me. I’m going insane… I just need real advice right now. I might end up suicide

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 6:28 pm

      Hi Ly Ann,

      call the suicide hotline in your country and talk to a friend. Check this one:
      How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t

  13. P.B

    January 1, 2018 at 3:02 pm

    Yesterday I wish him a Happy New Year. Today he answered and I didn’t respond anymore. I start my NC.I don’t know if I should keep texting but… If I do and he doesn’t answer, I’ll be worse. I thik that starting my NC with the last text being his could be better. I am very afraid and I’m guess I’ll read your posts about it over and over again in order to convince myself that this could work. I hope so.
    Many thank you… This is going to be hard and I’m more afraid than ever but in the bottom of my heart I know that the only way to get him back is that he chases me and for that I need to stop chasing and being there. I hope it works, I really need it.
    Thank you again for everything

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 2, 2018 at 6:48 pm

      If you keep initiating or replying if he texts you, that’s not nc.. Just focus in yourself and in the new routine you’re going to make and maintain..

  14. P.B

    January 1, 2018 at 11:36 am

    Thnak you Amor. Yes, I have read these posts but I will do it again. I know you’re right so I will try to make a sucessful NC and be the perfect UG. I already thought that I am doing a good job in social media but yesterday I confirmed it when a person who only knows me from that told me “you transmit pure joy and happiness”. Funny thing, I was crying when I read that (NYE is hard for me). So even if I’m devastated, I’m doing great with my posts, I’ll keep doing that.
    I will read again those posts, I’m always anxious that he may find another and have to compete with her. Sincerely, I don’t think he’ll find somebody better than me for him but closer, since he hates LDR and this is one of my main problems. I hope he notices the NC and my posts (I’m afraid he doesn’t be affected by them) and make him chasing me again, that’s the only way.

  15. Eva

    December 30, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    My Situation with my ex bf permantentely changes.
    We have been in a relatively toxic LDR.. toxic because lots of fights, different needs… as soon as things got heated up he stepped back or threatened to split up. I couldn’t give space to calm down on the other hand.
    Now we are split for nearly two months with regular contact though. I tried the NC,but mostly one of us reached out.

    Atm I am pretty relaxed and accepted the split up so far. I feel less controlling and take more time for myself. He on the other hand opens up more and we had again some flirty easy talk. He reached out to me after he received my present which I sent BEFORE break up.
    The thing is he treated me not well during relationship. He has his own demons to fight like depression and job lost.

    Now he was all sweet again calling me beautiful and that if I come over I should stay longer..over a year maybe.

    I want now to avoid being a booty call nor accepting his bad behaviour he had. I want him to regret his mistakes (he was on a dating site f.ex. when we were a couple) and I want him to miss me badly.
    Atm we have contact all 3 days and then it’s always positive and good.
    But what can I do now to make him miss me? Still No contact? But wouldn’t that be strange when we just built rapport? Or what else can I do that he sees me with higher value and not available all time?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 10:34 pm

      Hi Eva,

      You said it yourself. How are you going to convey you’re not available all the time if you’re always available?

  16. Lizzie

    December 30, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    I commented before on my ex and how he came back out of the blue asking to be friends. Im really worried that he likes a girl that he works with and im worried that they’ll end up together as i know she likes him back. what can i do about this? He says he doesnt know if we have a chance in the future and wants to hang out. He also said he wants to take things slow and not to rush anything but i dont want to end up getting hurt again. He said he doesnt love me anymore and is over me but still cares about me and wants to make sure im okay, please help!!!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 10:30 pm

      Hi Lizzie,

      if you want, treat it like they’re already together and follow the advise on this one:
      How To Win Back An Ex Who Is With Someone Else

  17. Regenia bell

    December 30, 2017 at 4:08 am

    I just wanted my own closure. I asked my ex to meet me at the first place we went out together. I was with him for four and a half years. Shared some good and bad times. Never stop loving him. Needless to say this year changed. He was hurt by me and things changed. He started seeing someone. And made a choice to b with her over me. Needless to say it hurt. BUT I EXCEPTED it. Today I needed to hear him say it that he wanted to stay with her. He told me. He stared he loved me always. BUT that’s who wants. He now stays with her with no job. I wished him well and told him as 2018 I can’t CONTACT him anymore. My heart has to over come this for my betterment. He said he actually loves her. AM done.

  18. Shaila

    December 30, 2017 at 12:53 am

    I started no contact 8 days ago. My ex wants to be friends. My ex tried to contact me a few times in the beginning, and he even called my best friend who is also a friend of his, asking her why I was ignoring him. She told him to give me space and that I’ll reach out when I’m ready. But all of a sudden last night (when he knew I was with this mutual friend), he texts me saying that he has an important problem and he needs to talk to me. He texts my friend as well, telling her that he needs to talk to me. I still refused to talk to him. He then goes on to tell my friend that he was always there for me whenever I needed him and that if I care about him as a friend then I’d talk to him if he has an urgent problem. Anyways so my he and my friend continue arguing: her saying I need space and him saying he really needs to talk to me. Eventually he responded late at night to her saying that since I can’t be there for him he’s just going to cut me out of his life. He told her he cares about me a lot but he’s going to stop trying to be my friend and that we should just live separately from now on. He sounded very final. I’m not sure what this means…is he just telling her this so that I feel bad and text him? or does he actually mean it?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 9:27 pm

      Hi Shaila,

      even if means it, it wouldn’t be helpful for you to be friendly with him now.

  19. Jamie

    December 29, 2017 at 9:38 pm

    My boyfriend of about a year dumped me. He gave multiple reasons. We never really had any serious arguments and got along well. My ex gave me several different reasons why he broke up with me, but the house all seemed like he was making up excuses to make me not feel bad. It boiled down to pretty much “it’s not you, it’s me.” He said he just wane to be friends and he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone right now. I made a couple mistakes at first and friend to convince him to give our relationship another chance.

    He dumped me October 1, I began no contact November 12, and ended December 12. During this time, I worked out, got a second job, and started studying for the MCAT. I sent him a text asking him advice on a game he plays someone bought for me. We texted back and forth a couple weeks. Then I asked him if he wanted to meet up, and he invited me to the shooting range with him. I didn’t bring up the relationship so that he didn’t become alarmed. We’ve been texting pretty regularly, with him initiating the text most days. He even bought me a Christmas gift. We’re shpposed to meet up again in a couple of days. I really don’t want to be friend zoned. What do you think? What should my next live be?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 9:18 pm

  20. P.B

    December 29, 2017 at 9:07 pm

    I am always obsessing about that he may know another girl, one who lives in the same city, and if he does…He’ll forget me. So…as you suggest, I’ll try he 45 days NC but what if he doesn’t notice? The maximum time without talking was like two weeks (except for the first NC) but… I am afraid he may forget me completly or if he mets another girl he will build a relationship with her and I loose him forever… I don’t know what to do. I need to be the UG but I must be better than any other girl AND the distance (he hates LDR) and I don’t know how to do it. And what if NC helps him to forget me forever? I just hae read your post “will he come back if I stop chasing him” and I loved it and I know that is right but I am scared… Many months had passed, that situation stucked in the friends + hard flirting zone, the distance, the possibility he met another girl… Will NC work? What can I do to be there without being there? Thank you again

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 8:00 pm

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