Want to make your ex jealous?

Then you’re in the right place.

Because today I’m going to show you the most effective ways to make your ex jealous so that they are drawn to you after a breakup.

The methods I am about to unveil to you can be applied across all kinds of mediums like,

  • Text Messages
  • Snapchat
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • WhatsApp
  • And Even School

Are you ready to dive in?

Let’s do this!

What To Do To Make Your Ex Jealous

I’ve written a lot about jealousy on this website and even recommend it in my book.

However, it is my intention to make this article the ultimate “hub” of information when it comes to jealousy tactics.

I have been doing this for over 6 years and throughout that time I have constantly fine tuned and refined my thoughts on jealousy.

As it stands the best way to make your ex jealous can be divided up into four parts.

  1. Determine if jealousy is the right tactic for you to try
  2. Understand the direct vs indirect jealousy scale
  3. Implement the Facebook and Instagram based strategies (Indirect)
  4. Master the Texting, Snapchat and WhatsApp based strategies (Direct)

Lets start by talking about jealousy a little bit.

Free Group Coaching To Get Your Ex Back
Sign Up Now

1. Is Jealousy The Right Strategy To Win Your Ex Back?

One thing my tenure at Ex Boyfriend Recovery has taught me has been that no two situations are ever alike.

What works for someone may not necessarily work for the next person.

Sure, I’ve talked about my endless desire to find “the truth” of winning an ex back by locating the universal strategies but those are few and far between.

And that’s where jealousy comes into play.

Jealousy is one of those strategies that I feel is universal but there are certain situations where it’s a nightmare to use.

But before I dive into what those situations are lets take a look at why jealousy is a viable strategy to get your ex back.

Why Making Your Ex Jealous Works

Like I’ said above, I’ve been doing this for a very long time.

This means that I have a lot of firsthand experience at seeing what works and doesn’t work. In fact, I talk about this experience quite a bit in my book and have even written a few articles on this.

One consistent “through line” I see connecting success story to success story is this idea of “the fear of loss.”

Essentially, you need to position yourself in a way that convinces your ex that they may lose you forever.

It’s at this point that they start to consider what they are about to lose. If they feel that they can’t live without you they start to take action and often that action comes in the form of a commitment.

Now, there are a lot of intricacies of the strategy that I am skipping over but if you can successfully position yourself in a way that makes your ex think they’ll lose you forever the better off you’ll be.

(For the record, if you want a crash course on “the strategy” I recommend watching this,)

Jealousy is a tactic that taps into that “fear of loss.”

By having your ex see you with someone else they are forced to confront a reality where you aren’t obsessing over them.

That’s exactly where you want them.

Thus far we have been operating under the assumption that everything is going to work out perfectly when you use jealousy but what if you encounter a situation where your ex has severe trust issues?

Well, that’s why I hesitate to fully say that jealousy is a universal strategy as there are situations where I would recommend that clients avoid it like the plague.

Situations Where You Shouldn’t Be Using Jealousy

Last month I was hired by a client who wanted me to help her get her ex back.

Her situation was a bit complicated but essentially it boiled down to this, she cheated on her ex boyfriend and this created a lot of trust issues that the relationship simply couldn’t sustain.

Do you think that my client should be using jealousy as a primary strategy to get her ex back?

Of course not.

In situations where your ex has severe trust issues with you the worst thing you can do is reinforce those negative assumptions by trying to make your ex jealous.

Getting an ex back is a little like trying to lure a wild animal away from it’s den. If you do and say the right things you have a pretty decent shot but one misstep and it’s game over.

So, here is the general rule that you should live by. If you find yourself in any of these situations DO NOT use jealousy,

  • Your ex has severe trust issues with you
  • You cheated on your ex
  • Jealousy hasn’t worked well for you in the past

Ok, now that we have that concept out of the way lets move on and talk about direct and indirect jealousy.

2. Understand The Direct Vs. Indirect Scale When It Comes To Jealousy

In my opinion, there are two major categories when it comes to jealousy.

Direct Jealousy – Any technique used where you are trying to make your ex jealous by directly talking to him or her

Indirect Jealousy- Any technique used where you are trying to make your ex jealous without talking to him or her

Each category has the same “end goal” it’s just that they go down completely different paths in how they achieve that end goal.

Now, as you read through this section you may find that you are inevitably drawn to one aspect more than the other.

It’s important for you to implement BOTH types of jealousy on your ex if you want to have the maximum results.

But before we get into that lets talk a little about something I like to call “the scale.”

Do you notice how indirect jealousy and direct jealousy are at opposite ends of the spectrum?

Every type of jealousy ploy you attempt can be plotted on this scale. In fact, as I continue to teach you throughout this article I am going to be giving you a few jealousy techniques that you can try out.

In addition to teaching you how to use those jealousy techniques I am going to plot them on the scale for you so you can see where they fall.

3. Grasp The Facebook And Instagram Based Strategies (Indirect Jealousy)

Facebook and Instagram were designed in a way to make them perfect for indirect jealousy.

Just as a quick recap,

Indirect Jealousy: A technique where you are trying to make your ex jealous without talking to him or her.

So, this may seem confusing at first but I want you to take a moment to read this article I wrote.

……

……

You didn’t read it, did you?

Well, in it I cite research where a graduate student found that close to 90% of exes will “Facebook Creep” on their exes social media profiles.

This has definitely consistent with my own findings over the years.

If your ex is going to check up on you then that means, in a way, you can control the narrative of what they are consuming related to you.

This makes it the perfect proving ground for indirect jealousy.

Using Indirect Jealousy On Facebook And Instagram

The key to indirect jealousy is to lead your ex in the direction you want them to go but don’t actually show them what’s at the end.

I’ll give you an example.

Last year I was on the phone with a coaching client and she was telling me an interesting story of a picture she posted on Facebook.

Apparently she had gone out to eat with one of her guy friends and took a picture of what they were eating.

It just so happened that she took the picture in a way that included her friends arm at the top of the picture.

Anyways, she posted the picture to Facebook and then a few hours later got this text from her ex,

Her ex is clearly jealous, right?

Here’s the best part. When I shared this story with my private support group the “arm picture” was born and spread like wildfire,

This is a perfect example of how indirect jealousy should be used.

It’s also as indirect as you can get,

So, now that you have an idea of what “indirect jealousy” is lets move on and talk about the other side of the coin.

4. Master the Texting, Snapchat and WhatsApp Based Strategies (Direct Jealousy)

Direct jealousy is very straightforward.

This is where we are talking directly to our exes and say something that will ultimately make them jealous.

Now, this is where I tend to have some philosophical differences than my peers.

I am a big believer that less is more.

Some of my peers will have you believe that if you send a text or snap like this,

That, that is the best way to create jealousy with your ex.

I actually think that’s the dumbest way that you can use direct jealousy.

I think that you can employ a little bit of what I taught you above in texts to your ex.

Lead your ex in the direction you want them to go but don’t actually show them what’s at the end.

In other words, you should be doing a form of indirect direct jealousy,

Notice how it isn’t so far skewed to the direct side like the text above certainly was but it isn’t exactly indirect either.

It kind of skews that grey area.

I don’t think we give exes enough credit to read between the lines but believe me when I say that they can and will read between the lines.

Here is an example of a way you can do that,

Notice how you don’t specify the gender of that friend and how the movie needs to be romantic by nature.

The are the bread crumbs that will eventually lead your ex down the following path,

Do you see how such a simple text message, if properly constructed, can lead your ex down a path where they start thinking thoughts that are consistent with someone being jealous.

I learned a long time ago that if you force someone to think a certain way it’ll backfire. It’s a lot more powerful if they come to conclusions on their own.

The same is true with jealousy.

If you can lead your ex down the path and have them come to their own conclusions it is way more powerful than forcing them to feel a certain way.

454 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Jealous (Based On Real Life Experiences)”

  1. C

    August 12, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    Hi there,

    Nice article. I find reading some stuff on here actually really comforts me through the tough times.

    My ex came to collect his stuff. He asked if I was okay and I just said ‘I’m great thanks’. I was firm but polite when he asked me where some important documents were. He then suddenly said I need to ‘drop this attitude’ because people think he is already doing too much and being too good by leaving the flat and furniture etc. He also said ‘you don’t want me as an enemy’.

    I came home later and he was just finishing up. I slipped a little and asked how he was when he left and he told me he was ‘like you were’ (heartbroken) and he was not okay. He walked away and I called his name a couple of times (not hysterically, but it still happened and I’m very embarrassed) but he kept walking.

    Is it natural for him to suddenly be so angry because I refused to act hysterical like I did in a past break up with him?

  2. Vanessa

    August 5, 2018 at 3:59 am

    My name is Vanessa, i initiated the break up with my now ex boyfriend only because i was feeling depressed and i don’t want him to be depressed as well by providing emotional support for me. I regretted that decision afterwards, asked for another chance from him but he said , i hurt him so much and what i did is unforgivable. we were in a long distance relationship. broke up for almost 2weeks now. im starting to do the no contact rule just today. need help please. i want him back, but he said, if he took me back, we will have to start from scratch and he will have fear again that i might hurt him again.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 6:48 pm

      Hi Vanessa!

      There is so much to discuss about the NC process and how you can use it to help yourself heal and also build value and re-attract you ex. Please go to my home page and tap into all the resources I have there.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 6:48 pm

      Hi Vanessa!

      There is so much to discuss about the NC process and how you can use it to help yourself heal and also build value and re-attract you ex. Please go to my home page and tap into all the resources I have there.

  3. Jess

    March 19, 2018 at 8:51 am

    hi so my ex and i ended things in Jan after 3 months together and i initiated no contact. after about a week of no contact he started initiating texts and even showed up as a surprise where I was one day! since then we have had two coffee meet ups and we are in contact daily.

    However recently in the last week he started asking and fishing if i was dating other men (im going out and meeting new ppl). I have not confirmed or denied anything rather left it ambiguous.

    i am trying to be patient but i want him obviously to ask me out again! Im not sure if me dating other men is putting him off?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 24, 2018 at 4:59 pm

  4. Falguni Sarkar

    March 6, 2018 at 9:37 am

    I need a counselling. Can you contact me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2018 at 4:19 pm

      Hi Falguni,

      Chris offers coaching calls. If you’re interested, this is the link:
      Expert personal coaching to help get your ex back

  5. Patricia Paquette

    March 3, 2018 at 8:39 am

    You are absolutely amazing with your advice!

  6. Anabella

    February 22, 2018 at 1:33 am

    Oh its me Hmmm that commented below, sorry

  7. Anabella

    February 22, 2018 at 1:30 am

    Thank you!…So how long do you think I should do no contact for 21, 30 or 45 days? And in your honest professional opinion what effect, whether good or bad, do you think blocking on WhatsApp will have on him? I’m on day 21 of no contact by the way.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2018 at 11:42 am

      Do 45 days because you’ve already done nc before..make this your last.. If you’re active in posting in fb and ig publicly, nothing.. It can even prevent you from messaging him..

  8. Hmmm

    February 20, 2018 at 12:06 am

    Hi Amor,

    My ex and I broke a little over a year ago, I did no contact and got him back but now we’re broken up again. I initiated the break up but right after I regretted it and tried to call him back, I called and texted constantly with no reply for about 3 days. I waited a week then contacted him and told him I didn’t really want a break up I just needed him to apologize but he wouldn’t apologize. I said we couldn’t get back together if he didn’t and he was OK with breaking up. I started no contact the next day (currently day 19) and he only contacted me the first day because I didn’t say anything just disappeared (after I said we could have been friends). Recently after I did some subtle jealously posts he posted a pic of him and a girl. So I have a couple questions…Can I block him during no contact? What does it mean if he’s trying to make me jealous? And How long should I stay in no contact for?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2018 at 12:20 pm

      if you’re blocking him, you have to make your post public so that he will still see it if he gets curious. He probably is trying to make you jealous because he still has feelings or he’s just possessive and he wanted to get back at you when you posted jealousy pics.

  9. Maya

    January 22, 2018 at 8:33 am

    Hi, so I reached out to my ex yesterday after 1,5 month but he answered pretty short and distant… He also closed the conversation by not answering my second text and said he had to study (so I had to leave him alone). I didn’t know what to do and had the feeling I lost control over the conversation so I didn’t answer anymore and didn’t send ‘okay, good luck’ or anything… what do I have to do now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2018 at 1:29 am

      Hi Maya,

      That’s good that you didn’t answer.. Check this one:
      The Stages of Not Getting a Text Back From Your Ex and How to Survive Them

  10. sarah

    September 18, 2017 at 6:15 am

    Hi there,
    So I have not seen/talked to my ex since we broke up 2 months ago, and this is our second break up. We were together for over 2 years. He broke up with me because according to him we are in different life stages (he’s focusing on his career, and i’m still in college), and although he loves me, we simply “don’t work”. In that 2 months he did not reach out to me. He also deleted every trace of us on his Facebook. He also remade Instagram and made it private, and so I can’t see what he’s posting. However, I know he has looked at my Instagram a few times a month. I’ve been very active in the 2 months, so thats good.. A few days ago, he saw my Instagram story which featured a guy. Do you think this would make him jealous? Or do you think that he would be disinterested now that it looks like I’m moving on to a new guy?
    The reason why I haven’t reached out to him is because I don’t know what to say, and I’m afraid of getting rejected… Help? Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 20, 2017 at 11:06 am

      Hi Sarah,

      don’t assume.. if you wanted to try, you have to act..because prolonging rejection, doesn’t increase your chances. Yes it hurts to be rejected but at least, if you are rejected, you can start to move on instead.

  11. Marie

    September 3, 2017 at 5:00 am

    Hello, my boyfriend broke up with me this past Monday. He is all over Facebook now and commenting and posting memes. He tells other girls they are pretty. Sometimes adds a kiss emoji. It makes me so mad. When he broke up with me he told me he just wanted to be alone and I deserved better than him anyway. I think he was referring to his drinking problem. He’s a loner and likes to drink at home. The problem is I’m at a point of no return. I love him and am willing to still be with him. Anyway, he text me the day after the break up and said he wants to remain friends. I responded by saying….OK hon, have a good day. 3 more days pass and then he called me while he was at work, but I didn’t hear it ring.. I waited a few hours and texted him and said…My phone shows you called. I asked him if everything was ok.” He said yes, everything is ok, but never said why he called me. It couldn’t be a butt dial because the last time I talked to him on the phone was 2 weeks ago. I just can’t understand why he did that. Makes no sense he called and then didn’t say why. The only text I initiated since our break up was asking about the missed call. It’s so hard not to contact him and ask questions such as why and how could he. I am devastated and have so meaning questions, but I am leaning back and trying the NC. I need some serious advice. I see that you help people on here and I would appreciate it so much.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 3, 2017 at 8:56 pm

  12. Jo Jo

    August 30, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    My BF of a year broke up with me a couple months ago. I did NC for 35 days, then reached out to him asking a suggestion of a place to stay in a city he frequents. He responded in a positive way with 2 texts giving me a list of rentals and telling me which ones were his favs. I then responded back asking how he and his kids were doing but go no response back. I decided I wasn’t completely done with working on myself at that point, so I did not reach back out and decided to do 30 more days of NC. He has not reached out to me, but he has viewed some of my pics on social media. Just recently, his BFF saw me on Bumble and sent him a screen shot of my profile. How do I proceed from here? Does him knowing I’m on Bumble help or hurt me in my mission to get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2017 at 7:22 pm

      Hi Jojo,
      When did he broke up with you? But, it looks like, it’s been a long time, if you literally meant 2 months ago, that means it’s ok if you started to date moreso if it’s longer than that

  13. Crystal

    August 7, 2017 at 1:53 am

    Hi,
    So what if trying to make my ex jealous has the opposite effect and he becomes more disinterested? What happens if he thinks I’m playing games? How do you avoid this from happening? Are there some guys that jealousy tactics don’t work on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 9, 2017 at 2:24 pm

      Nope, continue in nc..be active in improving yourself and in posting..dont use jealousy moves that are too forward like posting and captioning it that you’re dating a new guy, or showing pda

  14. laura

    July 21, 2017 at 6:12 am

    hello,
    my boyfriend and kind of fiancé broke up with me 4 months ago. we hadnt any contact during this period. 2 weeks ago he texted me on my birthday..we texted a few messages on a irregular base.. I didnt answer anymore, but then after a few days I texted him that i miss him and still think of him ( only this 2 sentences) . I screeeewed up on this..I know I shouldnt have done this, but I thought that I had to come clean with my feelings before its too late .
    His reaction was really not what I hoped for : ” Mostly I was only hoping that I hopefully did not hurt you”
    I didnt answer on that either.. what should I do? Is there any hope left..?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 12:05 pm

      Hi laura,

      Restart nc, do at least 30 days before initiating contact again..improve yourself and be active in posting

  15. Alexa

    May 9, 2017 at 7:01 am

    Hi Amor,
    I did as advised and he replied the following day . He also anknowkdged/ replied to my previous texts in the same message. We exchanged a few messages, he even asked me some things and I think he may have tried to flirt at one point( so engaged). The convo was getting short so I ended the conversation after a 3-4 times back and fourth. . Two days latter he then replied Saying he had fallen asleep and that it was really nice talking to me too – hope I had a nice day. I waited some hours before my reply to which He has then replied (1.5days later again) I waited and then I replied, I had no response – however he was posting on social, from one of the posts it looks like he was potentially having a breakfast at home with a girl…He also “liked” my posts during this time, including a picture of me .

    I initiated two days after the no reply – he responded and we exchanged a few text but its just polite /neutral / indifferent.
    I’m not sure what to do, He ghosted me at the end of our long term relationship. I was planning to build up rapport but now after this breakfast post I fear he has moved on to someone else. I really need to ask him to collect he’s things / return mine in the next few weeks, as it’s been 4 months now. What do you advise in terms of continuing ? I’m pretty confused with the mixed signals. Please could you remove this post from the comments, I’m concerned about the level of detail . Thank you , Alexa

    1. Alexa

      May 18, 2017 at 1:42 pm

      Hi Amor,

      I initiated at the beginning of February after 30 days NC. It was going well , he was Engaged in Convo, even said I’d made he’s day at one point- then he started to get silent / take longer to reply around mid / end of March just as I was about to move to calls. I rested for two weeks as advised around beginning of April and then initiaated ( he actually got in touch after 10days but I rested the full 2 weeks) . Initially he was responsive , even said it was lovely talking to me. But the last two weeks have slowly declined again and this girls presence is on the incline: 3 times in one week they have been together ( social media check ins) . I rested after he’s latest no response -I had sent a story message and tried to move to a call. He had said he would call on he’s break; but nothing. He replied 3days later at 3:30 ; saying he couldn’t find time to call me and will try this weekend. But he did have time to post the dates he’s was going on, on social media … she is even tagged in them- although there are no phycial pictures of her. I was planning to ask him to collect he’s things. What are your thoughts?
      Alexa

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 19, 2017 at 9:53 pm

      that means he’s more into her..you have to improve the quality of your messages, and your activities too.. if he sees your posts would he be interested or intrigued with what you’re recently doing? If you want him to collect his things that’s ok.. and transitioning the calls should be before the high point, so that you can make the call as the high point and then end it there.

    3. Alexa

      May 16, 2017 at 12:46 pm

      Hi Amor,
      I’m very stuck . He’s replying on minute, Then starts to give me one word replies. Then he’s engaged again. I tried to move to calls ( with a story set up) he said he could call me in he’s break …but he didn’t . I initiated the following day and once again a day has passed with no reply … he’s been posting on social media though. I don’t think he’s happy with her – there’s nothing official from what I can see … but I do think he’s happy without me . It’s been over 4 months now… doesn’t seem like she’s a rebound ? I waned to move to calls so I could ask him to collect he’s things/drop mine . Thank you Alexa

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 17, 2017 at 5:34 pm

      sorry, how long have you been texting to build rapport?

    5. Alexa

      May 15, 2017 at 10:14 pm

      Hi Amor,
      I’m very stuck . He’s replying to me one minute, Then starts to give me one word replies. Then he’s engaged again. I tried to move to calls ( with a story set up) he said he could call me on he’s break and he really wanted to know what happened …but he didn’t call. initiated the following day and once again a day has passed with no reply … he’s been posting on social media though. I don’t think he’s happy with her – there’s nothing official from what I can see … but I do think he’s happy without me . Its like he’s finally got himself together , he’s holding down he’s job , out all the time, lots of new friends. It’s been over 4 months now… doesn’t seem like she’s a rebound ? I wanted to move to calls so I could ask him to collect he’s things/drop mine . What do you advise? Thank you Alexa

    6. Alexa

      May 15, 2017 at 10:10 pm

      Hi Amor,
      I’m very stuck . He’s replying on minute, Then starts to give me one word replies. Then he’s engaged again. I tried to move to calls ( with a story set up) he said he could call me in he’s break …but he didn’t . I initiated the following day and once again a day has passed with no reply … he’s been posting on social media though. I don’t think he’s happy with her – there’s nothing official from what I can see … but I do think he’s happy without me . Its like he’s finally got himself together , he’s holding down he’s job , out all the time, lots of new friends. It’s been over 4 months now… doesn’t seem like she’s a rebound ? I wanted to move to calls so I could ask him to collect he’s things/drop mine . What do you advise? Thank you Alexa

    7. Alexa

      May 11, 2017 at 9:58 pm

      Hi Amor,

      Even if he’s started seeing someone new? There has been a check in at at romantic restaurant, a homemade breakfast and take away posts. He hasn’t responded to me for 2 days again…
      I’m doing all of these things. But he is unpredictable in he’s replies and doesn’t tend to ask me any questions … feel like he’s just being polite by replying and the signs say he’s with someone new now….
      this has been going on since February …
      Alexa

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 12, 2017 at 7:13 pm

      if you think he’s really happy with her, and you don’t want to try, then let go.. but if you really want a chance, stop focusing on them.. because that’s not going to help you build rapport..

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 11, 2017 at 6:13 pm

      you have to just focus in building rapport..what matters more is how he feels during and after thr conversation and that you are continuing to improve yourself and actively posting

  16. EBR Team Member: Amor

    May 1, 2017 at 10:36 am

    pick a more casual topic instead of a reminder text.. anything that current that is in his interest like tv shows, sports, news etc.

  17. EBR Team Member: Amor

    April 16, 2017 at 2:03 pm

    That’s ok.. You can still initiate after two weeks..

  18. EBR Team Member: Amor

    April 5, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    rest for two weeks.. be very active again and don’t forget to post.. dont use his things as a first contact text after the mini nc..

  19. EBR Team Member: Amor

    April 3, 2017 at 6:59 am

    rest for two weeks.. if he’s still like that, you have to move on

  20. EBR Team Member: Amor

    March 26, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    you have to initiate more.. you cant build rapport in talking just once a week

1 2 3 10

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.