By Chris Seiter

Updated on August 3rd, 2021

Want to make your ex jealous?

Then you’re in the right place.

Because today I’m going to show you the most effective ways to make your ex jealous so that they are drawn to you after a breakup.

The methods I am about to unveil to you were chosen based on data from our success stories.

  1. Utilize A No Contact Rule
  2. Employ The Holy Trinity On Social Media
  3. Send Your Ex A “Sub” Text
  4. Torture Your Ex With Success
  5. Use Subtle Jealousy Pictures
  6. Compare Your Ex To Someone Else (running example)
  7. Become Less Available
  8. Look Better Than You Did During The Relationship
  9. Have A Really Close Guy Friend
  10. Compliment Someone Else In Front Of Your Ex
  11. Go On Dates With Someone New
  12. Outgrow Your Ex

Let’s get after it!

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Way #1: Utilize A No Contact Rule

If you haven’t heard about the no contact rule then you’re a bit out of the loop.

It is without a doubt the most popular strategy employed by most people to get their exes back.

Here’s a quick overview,

What’s often overlooked with the no contact rule is how it can actually make your ex jealous.

What you’ll learn about our approach to jealousy as you go through our program is the fact that we are a believer in non-forceful jealousy.

Too often we see people who are trying to make their exes jealous by literally trying to be too obvious about it.

The no contact rule triggers a concept called psychological reactance which basically states that human beings have certain behavioral freedoms and when those freedoms become threatened or taken away they’ll react in a way to get that freedom back.

By employing the no contact rule you actually trigger this psychological reactance concept.

But how does jealousy fit in?

Well, often what we find happens with exes who have had the no contact used on them is that if you suddenly stop talking to them via the no contact rule they begin to obsess about who else you’re talking to.

This is perhaps the most powerful part of the non-forceful jealousy approach.

You give your ex enough of a narrative by simply not responding that they begin to think you’ve moved on to someone else.

Way #2: Employ The Holy Trinity On Social Media

The holy trinity might simply be one of the most powerful concepts we’ve ever come up with on Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

Essentially by dividing your life into three categories,

  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

Here’s a quick PDF on our concept of “The Holy Trinity” after a breakup.

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You give your life discipline and fulfillment after a breakup. I find it particularly useful when explaining to people what they should be posting on social media.

Always something from your holy trinity.

Health Based Social Media Posts:

  1. Your stats on a run
  2. A picture of you working out
  3. Doing a fun-run or marathon

Wealth Based Social Media Posts:

  1. A picture of you actually working
  2. Cutting up with friends at work
  3. Awesome work achievements

Relationships Based Social Media Posts:

  1. A picture of you out with friends doing something fun
  2. Pictures of family
  3. You get the idea

You want to show your ex that you’ve conquered your life after a breakup and this is the best way to do that without being too in your exes face about it.

You see, after a breakup your ex creates this certain narrative about you.

She’s obsessed with me

She’s probably thinking non-stop about me

She’s probably doing horrible after a breakup

In an odd way this is a bit of projection.

The mere fact that they are thinking these things about you kind of proves they aren’t quite over the breakup themselves.

Ultimately that comparison will come where they compare how they are doing after the breakup to how you are doing after the breakup and if all they see are social media posts of you basically owning your life they’ll get a little jealous.

People often think that jealousy can only be used by making an ex think you’ve moved on from them to someone else but it can also occur if they see you are doing better than they are after a breakup.

Way #3: Sending Your Ex A “Sub” Text

Usually the only time you hear someone talk about subtext it’s in relation to writing and stories.

I’ve always defined subtext as a hidden meaning in an innocuous statement.

For example, if you ask your significant other if they’re doing ok and they reply, “I’m fine…” with a bit of an annoyed voice are they really fine?

Well, you can tell from the annoyed voice that they are not.

This is subtext.

It’s all about understanding the hidden meaning behind what someone is saying or not saying.

This brings us to our jealousy tactic.

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Direct jealousy is very straightforward.

This is where we are talking directly to our exes and say something that will ultimately make them jealous.

Now, this is where I tend to have some philosophical differences than my peers.

I am a big believer that less is more.

Some of my peers will have you believe that if you send a text or snap like this,

That, that is the best way to create jealousy with your ex.

I actually think that’s the dumbest way that you can use direct jealousy.

I think the better approach is to lead your ex in the direction you want them to go but don’t actually show them what’s at the end.

You do this by employing a bit of “sub” text.

I don’t think we give exes enough credit to read between the lines but believe me when I say that they can and will read between the lines.

Here is an example of a way you can do that,

Notice how you don’t specify the gender of that friend and how the movie needs to be romantic by nature.

The are the bread crumbs that will eventually lead your ex down the following path,

Do you see how such a simple text message with subtext, if properly constructed, can lead your ex down a path where they start thinking thoughts that are consistent with someone being jealous.

I learned a long time ago that if you force someone to think a certain way it’ll backfire. It’s a lot more powerful if they come to conclusions on their own.

The same is true with jealousy.

If you can lead your ex down the path and have them come to their own conclusions it is way more powerful than forcing them to feel a certain way.

Way #4: Torture Your Ex With Success

Now, I don’t mean literally torture your ex with your successes.

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Don’t be in your face about it.

Internet personality, ultra-marathoner, former Navy Seal David Goggins perhaps has the best approach to torturing people with success.

This was a story told by Jesse Itzler, the owner of the Atlanta Hawks, about David Goggins that perfectly encapsulates torturing people with your success.

So, Jesse signs up to do a one day 100 mile run.

Essentially the race occurs at this one mile track and you go with a team to run the entire day.

You run a mile and then tag your team member and they run a mile and tag the next team member so on and so forth.

Itzler begins running with his team and looks over and sees this guy who is just running by himself without a team.

At first he thinks it’s a joke because who would be crazy enough to run 100 miles by themselves?

Well, David Goggins apparently is.

Pretty soon everyone at the race is fascinated by this guy who had the audacity to run by himself without a team.

So, Goggins gets to about mile 70 and is hurting and has to sit down. Itzler thinks, “Ok, he quit. I knew he couldn’t finish the race.”

Goggins then gets back up and finishes the next 30 miles.


Itzler later finds out that by mile 70 when David Goggins “sat down” it turned out that he was going into kidney failure and had begun peeing blood. Goggins had also broken the bones in his feet and despite that had gotten back up and finished out the 100 miles.

The whole thing inspired Itzler so much that he tracked David Goggins down and asked him to train with him for a month.

Now, I tell you this story not only because I think it’s without a doubt one of the most inspiring and crazy things I have ever heard but because in my opinion this is the best way to make your ex jealous with your success.

Rather than telling them how awesome you are.

Show them!

And the coolest part is that often times the best way to torture your ex with your successes is to not even show them it’s actually to show their friends.

How effective would it be if instead of telling your ex how awesome your life has been without them and how successful you’ve been if instead you SHOWED your exes friends and they told your ex.

Jealousy incoming!

Way #5: Use Subtle Jealousy Pictures

The key to using subtle jealousy pictures is to lead your ex in the direction you want them to go but don’t actually show them what’s at the end.

I’ll give you an example.

A few years ago I was on the phone with a coaching client and she was telling me an interesting story of a picture she posted on Facebook.

Apparently she had gone out to eat with one of her guy friends and took a picture of what they were eating.

It just so happened that she took the picture in a way that included her friends arm at the top of the picture.

Anyways, she posted the picture to Facebook and then a few hours later got this text from her ex,

Her ex is clearly jealous, right?

Here’s the best part. When I shared this story with my private support group the “arm picture” was born and spread like wildfire,

This is a perfect example of how subtle jealousy should be used.

It’s also as indirect as you can get,

Way #6: Compare Your Ex To Someone Else Indirectly

Since running is already top of mind based on the David Goggins story I told above let’s use that to illustrate this type of jealousy.

Let’s pretend that your ex is an avid runner.

He has competed in marathons and is in incredible shape.

Let’s also pretend that the two of you are out for lunch in an outdoor eating area.

So, as you are enjoying your food you notice a David Goggins like character running by. The guy is in good shape and you mention to your ex,

“Wow, that guy is really fast.”

Harmless comment, right?

Not exactly.

There’s a hidden subtext there your ex might potentially trigger.

What about me?

Aren’t I fast?

Why hasn’t she ever complimented me like that?

By essentially taking a trait that your ex is incredibly proud of, his running ability, and not admiring it in him but in someone else you make them seek your validation.

All of a sudden he wants to get complimented by you on his running ability.

He grows jealous of this random stranger that ran by simply because you complimented them and not him.

In this example we are using running but you can do this a million different ways it really just depends what qualities your ex is proud of.

Way #7: Become Less Available

Most people make the mistake of believing that simply doing a no contact rule in and of itself will accomplish this but they’d be wrong.

Becoming less available isn’t about ignoring your ex. It’s about showing them that you live such a full life without them that you may not have time for them.

How do you accomplish this?

Imagine for a moment that you and your ex are having an incredible conversation on the phone and you don’t want it to end.

The normal thing to do would be to stay on the phone and close out the conversation. Yet if you do that you run the risk of having the conversation grow stagnant.

I’ve literally been in this boat before when I met my wife and we began talking.

We’d be on the phone for hours and I’d just think to myself that I didn’t want the conversation to end and so I’d stay in the conversation but inevitably you run out of things to talk about.

Maybe not at first but eventually it will happen no matter how much you find the other person fascinating and what occurs is this delicate dance of two people trying to keep a conversation alive when they’ve run out of ammunition.

Don’t be like me.

Become less available with your ex.

If you find yourself in a conversation that you’re enjoying and don’t want to end do the uncommon thing and end it prematurely.

You still want to put forth some effort to make it enjoyable but show some discipline and leave your ex wanting more.

Become less available.

This concept can be distilled down into all the other areas of conversation as well.

Leave dates a bit early.

End enjoyable text exchanges first.

Make it seem like you’re always doing something.

If your ex asks you out on a date accept it but not on the day they want. Make them jump through a hoop to see exactly how much they want to see you.

By consistently seeming less available it can have the added benefit of triggering jealousy within your ex as they wonder why they aren’t your first priority anymore.

Way #8: Look Better Than You Did During The Relationship

Like all good things our societies shift towards being more politically correct has been a great but it’s also been laced with an alarming trend.

At what point do we use a politically correct statement to mask the truth?

I promised myself when I started Ex Boyfriend Recovery that I would not lie to you.

I would be honest even if the truth was something you didn’t want to hear.

So, here’s that truth.

Looks matter to men.

That may not be the politically correct thing to say and my research has indicated that men may not be as “looks oriented” as I originally thought but they still play an important role.

To sweep that under the rug would be doing a disservice to you.

I’ll never forget that when I wrote my “Ungettable” post I wrote a section, very harshly, about how looks mattered to men and people really crushed me for it.

“This is fat shaming…”

“You should feel comfortable with the way you are…”

I fear that those people missed the entire point of what I was trying to do.

If you don’t feel confident with the way you look. If you look in the mirror and you try not to actively “see yourself” because you’re scared of what you’ll think then I have news for you. What you have isn’t a “looks problem” it’s a confidence problem and that’s where your energy should be spent.

But we’re getting off topic.

“Looking good” doesn’t always have to mean losing weight. In some cases it could be showing off a new haircut.

A new set of clothes.

Maybe you got contacts and you want to show those off.

The point is that sometimes the best way to illicit jealous is to go all out without your ex so that they think to themselves,

“Wait why didn’t she do those things with me?”

He’ll then worry you’re trying to impress someone else and grow completely insecure.

Way #9: Have A Really Close Guy Friend

Time for super accountability on my end.

One of my very first girlfriends was for the most part respectful in the relationship and yet I allowed my insecurities to plague the relationship.

It seemed I was getting jealous of her all the time.


It all stemmed from prior knowledge I had before agreeing to the relationship.

She had this guy friend that she had a MASSIVE crush on.

I knew this because before we dated she had told me.

So, as the months go by and I finally won her this was in the back of my head.

“I need to watch her around this guy.”

Because the last thing I wanted was the despair of being cheated on.

And so constantly I allowed this insecurity to lead to jealousy any time I saw her talking to this guy.

I shouldn’t have cared.

I should have been cool about it and just proven to her I was so much better through action yet all I did was alienate her with fights.

Without a doubt one of the best ways to make an ex jealous is to have really close guy friends.

Take pictures with them.

Have fun with them.


Doing so may push your ex away forever.

Way #10: Compliment Someone Else In Front Of Your Ex

This is similar to the comparison “way” I mentioned above except in this case you’re actively complimenting someone else which in turn makes your ex jealous.

With this one you’re going to be limited to pretty much in person meet ups with groups.

I suppose a case can be made for group chats but I’ve only really seen this become effective in group meet ups.

The key to this is the type of compliment you level at whoever you give the compliment to.

You don’t want to compliment this person on their looks but what they are wearing, what they do or even acting incredibly interested in their life usually is enough to create jealousy within an ex.

“Why isn’t she giving all of her attention to me?”

“Why doesn’t she ever mention my shoes.”

I do think that women have a tendency to overdo this and spend too much time complimenting this other person.

Your goal isn’t to spend an entire conversation complimenting this other person.

You just simply level one compliment and then turn your attention back to your ex.

That’s usually enough to create jealousy.

Way #11: Go On Dates With Someone New

Here we enter the most obvious way of creating jealousy.

By going on dates with someone new your ex is bound to get jealous.

The funny part is that through studying success stories we are noticing that our most successful clients tend to swallow their pride and go on dates with someone else.

They don’t have to fall in love but they do have to do enough to show their ex that they won’t be waiting around forever.

I think most women who come through our program are terrified that their ex is going to hold this against them.

Who cares.

Your ex isn’t in charge of your life, you are. Don’t live your life by your exes rules when you aren’t even in a relationship with them.

Now, it’s important to mention you aren’t supposed to throw this person in their face.

In fact, quite the opposite.

I want you to to take that subtle jealousy picture but don’t go too much farther than that.

Way #12: Outgrow Your Ex

Without a doubt the no contact rule is the most popular get your ex back strategy almost all experts agree on.

Yet I find that most people completely miss the point of no contact.

It’s about outgrowing your ex.

Getting to this place emotionally where you are kind of over them.

A few days ago in our Private Facebook Support Group for my clients someone mentioned that they thought our program was trying to teach them to forget about their ex.

Coach Anna I thought had the best response,

That statement is correct from a time-limited, “I lack something,” emotionally out of control, and short-sighted perspective.
That statement is incorrect from a bigger, “I am everything,” emotionally stable, and strategic perspective.
Those aside, Science — which this program is based on — says that you and your ex won’t forget each other. So, if Science is working against you forgetting each other, how can any program do that?

Yet I’d add on to it.

I don’t think the program is trying to get you to forget about your ex at least that wasn’t the intention.

The program is designed to teach you that your ex is not supposed to be your first priority.

You are!

The only way to do this is to actually show you that your ex isn’t supposed to be the most important thing in your life.

Don’t get me wrong.

Relationships are important but they won’t comprise your whole life. I think we lose that perspective.

I always like to say to my clients that they should be trying to outgrow an ex which is just a fancy way of saying that they need to find other things in their life that they are just as passionate about.

Our exes all want to be the center of our world and the second you show them that they aren’t they get a little jealous and work to make it so they are.

Always remember that.

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458 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Jealous (Based On Real Life Experiences)”

  1. Anne.G

    August 11, 2022 at 6:35 am

    Ooh I really love the explanation,on how to get him jealous of me…,haha, I know it’ll probably work on me….the best way to bring him back without a show of desperation

  2. Saba

    June 4, 2020 at 12:53 pm

    Hi, I’m Sara
    My ex bf and I met on social media 4 years ago and had a long distance relationship for 3 months. Then he disappeared and said he had problems with his life. We lived in different cities. After 6 months he texted me again and begged me for a second chance but I told him that I’m dating another guy. We’ve been in touch during these 4 years. 2 months ago he asked me out cuz he had moved to the city where I live so we started dating and meeting in person. Everything was nice. He didn’t use to text me or call me several times in a day so I always used to nag and complain about it like why don’t pay attention, why don’t you care about me, and he always used to say it’s because he is so busy with his career.( and he somehow was, I might say…) so after about a month of dating, he disappeared for 3 days and left my texts and calls with no reply. After 3 days he answered and said he is not capable of being in love or loving someone, and said he feels so bad because he thought I was hurting for that. So I thought he does not love me by saying such thing to me and told him if you don’t love me we can stop dating. He hasn’t replied and said anything since that night. It happened 10 days ago. I keep posting casual stories on instagram ( not the sad heartbreaking ones ) and he is my top viewer but doesn’t say a word. Do you think I can get him back? 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 7, 2020 at 8:39 pm

      Hey Saba, if you follow the program and work on yourself during your NC then you give yourself a good chance of getting your ex back. But you need to be focused on yourself and not on your ex.

  3. Marie

    September 6, 2019 at 3:55 pm

    What if he’s not the jealous type? When we were together my ex told me he never gets jealous and says he trusts that his girl is into him/coming home with/to him. And told me straight out: “If you want to talk to guys thats fine–I don’t get jealous or worried and I never have.”

    His ex-fiance and ex-girlfriend before me have both cheated on him though.

  4. C

    August 12, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    Hi there,

    Nice article. I find reading some stuff on here actually really comforts me through the tough times.

    My ex came to collect his stuff. He asked if I was okay and I just said ‘I’m great thanks’. I was firm but polite when he asked me where some important documents were. He then suddenly said I need to ‘drop this attitude’ because people think he is already doing too much and being too good by leaving the flat and furniture etc. He also said ‘you don’t want me as an enemy’.

    I came home later and he was just finishing up. I slipped a little and asked how he was when he left and he told me he was ‘like you were’ (heartbroken) and he was not okay. He walked away and I called his name a couple of times (not hysterically, but it still happened and I’m very embarrassed) but he kept walking.

    Is it natural for him to suddenly be so angry because I refused to act hysterical like I did in a past break up with him?

  5. Vanessa

    August 5, 2018 at 3:59 am

    My name is Vanessa, i initiated the break up with my now ex boyfriend only because i was feeling depressed and i don’t want him to be depressed as well by providing emotional support for me. I regretted that decision afterwards, asked for another chance from him but he said , i hurt him so much and what i did is unforgivable. we were in a long distance relationship. broke up for almost 2weeks now. im starting to do the no contact rule just today. need help please. i want him back, but he said, if he took me back, we will have to start from scratch and he will have fear again that i might hurt him again.

    1. Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 6:48 pm

      Hi Vanessa!

      There is so much to discuss about the NC process and how you can use it to help yourself heal and also build value and re-attract you ex. Please go to my home page and tap into all the resources I have there.

    2. Chris Seiter

      August 5, 2018 at 6:48 pm

      Hi Vanessa!

      There is so much to discuss about the NC process and how you can use it to help yourself heal and also build value and re-attract you ex. Please go to my home page and tap into all the resources I have there.

  6. Jess

    March 19, 2018 at 8:51 am

    hi so my ex and i ended things in Jan after 3 months together and i initiated no contact. after about a week of no contact he started initiating texts and even showed up as a surprise where I was one day! since then we have had two coffee meet ups and we are in contact daily.

    However recently in the last week he started asking and fishing if i was dating other men (im going out and meeting new ppl). I have not confirmed or denied anything rather left it ambiguous.

    i am trying to be patient but i want him obviously to ask me out again! Im not sure if me dating other men is putting him off?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 24, 2018 at 4:59 pm

  7. Falguni Sarkar

    March 6, 2018 at 9:37 am

    I need a counselling. Can you contact me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2018 at 4:19 pm

      Hi Falguni,

      Chris offers coaching calls. If you’re interested, this is the link:
      Expert personal coaching to help get your ex back

  8. Patricia Paquette

    March 3, 2018 at 8:39 am

    You are absolutely amazing with your advice!

  9. Anabella

    February 22, 2018 at 1:33 am

    Oh its me Hmmm that commented below, sorry

  10. Anabella

    February 22, 2018 at 1:30 am

    Thank you!…So how long do you think I should do no contact for 21, 30 or 45 days? And in your honest professional opinion what effect, whether good or bad, do you think blocking on WhatsApp will have on him? I’m on day 21 of no contact by the way.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2018 at 11:42 am

      Do 45 days because you’ve already done nc before..make this your last.. If you’re active in posting in fb and ig publicly, nothing.. It can even prevent you from messaging him..

  11. Hmmm

    February 20, 2018 at 12:06 am

    Hi Amor,

    My ex and I broke a little over a year ago, I did no contact and got him back but now we’re broken up again. I initiated the break up but right after I regretted it and tried to call him back, I called and texted constantly with no reply for about 3 days. I waited a week then contacted him and told him I didn’t really want a break up I just needed him to apologize but he wouldn’t apologize. I said we couldn’t get back together if he didn’t and he was OK with breaking up. I started no contact the next day (currently day 19) and he only contacted me the first day because I didn’t say anything just disappeared (after I said we could have been friends). Recently after I did some subtle jealously posts he posted a pic of him and a girl. So I have a couple questions…Can I block him during no contact? What does it mean if he’s trying to make me jealous? And How long should I stay in no contact for?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2018 at 12:20 pm

      if you’re blocking him, you have to make your post public so that he will still see it if he gets curious. He probably is trying to make you jealous because he still has feelings or he’s just possessive and he wanted to get back at you when you posted jealousy pics.

  12. Maya

    January 22, 2018 at 8:33 am

    Hi, so I reached out to my ex yesterday after 1,5 month but he answered pretty short and distant… He also closed the conversation by not answering my second text and said he had to study (so I had to leave him alone). I didn’t know what to do and had the feeling I lost control over the conversation so I didn’t answer anymore and didn’t send ‘okay, good luck’ or anything… what do I have to do now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2018 at 1:29 am

      Hi Maya,

      That’s good that you didn’t answer.. Check this one:
      The Stages of Not Getting a Text Back From Your Ex and How to Survive Them

  13. sarah

    September 18, 2017 at 6:15 am

    Hi there,
    So I have not seen/talked to my ex since we broke up 2 months ago, and this is our second break up. We were together for over 2 years. He broke up with me because according to him we are in different life stages (he’s focusing on his career, and i’m still in college), and although he loves me, we simply “don’t work”. In that 2 months he did not reach out to me. He also deleted every trace of us on his Facebook. He also remade Instagram and made it private, and so I can’t see what he’s posting. However, I know he has looked at my Instagram a few times a month. I’ve been very active in the 2 months, so thats good.. A few days ago, he saw my Instagram story which featured a guy. Do you think this would make him jealous? Or do you think that he would be disinterested now that it looks like I’m moving on to a new guy?
    The reason why I haven’t reached out to him is because I don’t know what to say, and I’m afraid of getting rejected… Help? Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 20, 2017 at 11:06 am

      Hi Sarah,

      don’t assume.. if you wanted to try, you have to act..because prolonging rejection, doesn’t increase your chances. Yes it hurts to be rejected but at least, if you are rejected, you can start to move on instead.

  14. Marie

    September 3, 2017 at 5:00 am

    Hello, my boyfriend broke up with me this past Monday. He is all over Facebook now and commenting and posting memes. He tells other girls they are pretty. Sometimes adds a kiss emoji. It makes me so mad. When he broke up with me he told me he just wanted to be alone and I deserved better than him anyway. I think he was referring to his drinking problem. He’s a loner and likes to drink at home. The problem is I’m at a point of no return. I love him and am willing to still be with him. Anyway, he text me the day after the break up and said he wants to remain friends. I responded by saying….OK hon, have a good day. 3 more days pass and then he called me while he was at work, but I didn’t hear it ring.. I waited a few hours and texted him and said…My phone shows you called. I asked him if everything was ok.” He said yes, everything is ok, but never said why he called me. It couldn’t be a butt dial because the last time I talked to him on the phone was 2 weeks ago. I just can’t understand why he did that. Makes no sense he called and then didn’t say why. The only text I initiated since our break up was asking about the missed call. It’s so hard not to contact him and ask questions such as why and how could he. I am devastated and have so meaning questions, but I am leaning back and trying the NC. I need some serious advice. I see that you help people on here and I would appreciate it so much.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 3, 2017 at 8:56 pm

  15. Jo Jo

    August 30, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    My BF of a year broke up with me a couple months ago. I did NC for 35 days, then reached out to him asking a suggestion of a place to stay in a city he frequents. He responded in a positive way with 2 texts giving me a list of rentals and telling me which ones were his favs. I then responded back asking how he and his kids were doing but go no response back. I decided I wasn’t completely done with working on myself at that point, so I did not reach back out and decided to do 30 more days of NC. He has not reached out to me, but he has viewed some of my pics on social media. Just recently, his BFF saw me on Bumble and sent him a screen shot of my profile. How do I proceed from here? Does him knowing I’m on Bumble help or hurt me in my mission to get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2017 at 7:22 pm

      Hi Jojo,
      When did he broke up with you? But, it looks like, it’s been a long time, if you literally meant 2 months ago, that means it’s ok if you started to date moreso if it’s longer than that

  16. Crystal

    August 7, 2017 at 1:53 am

    So what if trying to make my ex jealous has the opposite effect and he becomes more disinterested? What happens if he thinks I’m playing games? How do you avoid this from happening? Are there some guys that jealousy tactics don’t work on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 9, 2017 at 2:24 pm

      Nope, continue in active in improving yourself and in posting..dont use jealousy moves that are too forward like posting and captioning it that you’re dating a new guy, or showing pda

  17. laura

    July 21, 2017 at 6:12 am

    my boyfriend and kind of fiancé broke up with me 4 months ago. we hadnt any contact during this period. 2 weeks ago he texted me on my birthday..we texted a few messages on a irregular base.. I didnt answer anymore, but then after a few days I texted him that i miss him and still think of him ( only this 2 sentences) . I screeeewed up on this..I know I shouldnt have done this, but I thought that I had to come clean with my feelings before its too late .
    His reaction was really not what I hoped for : ” Mostly I was only hoping that I hopefully did not hurt you”
    I didnt answer on that either.. what should I do? Is there any hope left..?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 12:05 pm

      Hi laura,

      Restart nc, do at least 30 days before initiating contact again..improve yourself and be active in posting

  18. Alexa

    May 9, 2017 at 7:01 am

    Hi Amor,
    I did as advised and he replied the following day . He also anknowkdged/ replied to my previous texts in the same message. We exchanged a few messages, he even asked me some things and I think he may have tried to flirt at one point( so engaged). The convo was getting short so I ended the conversation after a 3-4 times back and fourth. . Two days latter he then replied Saying he had fallen asleep and that it was really nice talking to me too – hope I had a nice day. I waited some hours before my reply to which He has then replied (1.5days later again) I waited and then I replied, I had no response – however he was posting on social, from one of the posts it looks like he was potentially having a breakfast at home with a girl…He also “liked” my posts during this time, including a picture of me .

    I initiated two days after the no reply – he responded and we exchanged a few text but its just polite /neutral / indifferent.
    I’m not sure what to do, He ghosted me at the end of our long term relationship. I was planning to build up rapport but now after this breakfast post I fear he has moved on to someone else. I really need to ask him to collect he’s things / return mine in the next few weeks, as it’s been 4 months now. What do you advise in terms of continuing ? I’m pretty confused with the mixed signals. Please could you remove this post from the comments, I’m concerned about the level of detail . Thank you , Alexa

    1. Alexa

      May 18, 2017 at 1:42 pm

      Hi Amor,

      I initiated at the beginning of February after 30 days NC. It was going well , he was Engaged in Convo, even said I’d made he’s day at one point- then he started to get silent / take longer to reply around mid / end of March just as I was about to move to calls. I rested for two weeks as advised around beginning of April and then initiaated ( he actually got in touch after 10days but I rested the full 2 weeks) . Initially he was responsive , even said it was lovely talking to me. But the last two weeks have slowly declined again and this girls presence is on the incline: 3 times in one week they have been together ( social media check ins) . I rested after he’s latest no response -I had sent a story message and tried to move to a call. He had said he would call on he’s break; but nothing. He replied 3days later at 3:30 ; saying he couldn’t find time to call me and will try this weekend. But he did have time to post the dates he’s was going on, on social media … she is even tagged in them- although there are no phycial pictures of her. I was planning to ask him to collect he’s things. What are your thoughts?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 19, 2017 at 9:53 pm

      that means he’s more into have to improve the quality of your messages, and your activities too.. if he sees your posts would he be interested or intrigued with what you’re recently doing? If you want him to collect his things that’s ok.. and transitioning the calls should be before the high point, so that you can make the call as the high point and then end it there.

    3. Alexa

      May 16, 2017 at 12:46 pm

      Hi Amor,
      I’m very stuck . He’s replying on minute, Then starts to give me one word replies. Then he’s engaged again. I tried to move to calls ( with a story set up) he said he could call me in he’s break …but he didn’t . I initiated the following day and once again a day has passed with no reply … he’s been posting on social media though. I don’t think he’s happy with her – there’s nothing official from what I can see … but I do think he’s happy without me . It’s been over 4 months now… doesn’t seem like she’s a rebound ? I waned to move to calls so I could ask him to collect he’s things/drop mine . Thank you Alexa

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 17, 2017 at 5:34 pm

      sorry, how long have you been texting to build rapport?

    5. Alexa

      May 15, 2017 at 10:14 pm

      Hi Amor,
      I’m very stuck . He’s replying to me one minute, Then starts to give me one word replies. Then he’s engaged again. I tried to move to calls ( with a story set up) he said he could call me on he’s break and he really wanted to know what happened …but he didn’t call. initiated the following day and once again a day has passed with no reply … he’s been posting on social media though. I don’t think he’s happy with her – there’s nothing official from what I can see … but I do think he’s happy without me . Its like he’s finally got himself together , he’s holding down he’s job , out all the time, lots of new friends. It’s been over 4 months now… doesn’t seem like she’s a rebound ? I wanted to move to calls so I could ask him to collect he’s things/drop mine . What do you advise? Thank you Alexa

    6. Alexa

      May 15, 2017 at 10:10 pm

      Hi Amor,
      I’m very stuck . He’s replying on minute, Then starts to give me one word replies. Then he’s engaged again. I tried to move to calls ( with a story set up) he said he could call me in he’s break …but he didn’t . I initiated the following day and once again a day has passed with no reply … he’s been posting on social media though. I don’t think he’s happy with her – there’s nothing official from what I can see … but I do think he’s happy without me . Its like he’s finally got himself together , he’s holding down he’s job , out all the time, lots of new friends. It’s been over 4 months now… doesn’t seem like she’s a rebound ? I wanted to move to calls so I could ask him to collect he’s things/drop mine . What do you advise? Thank you Alexa

    7. Alexa

      May 11, 2017 at 9:58 pm

      Hi Amor,

      Even if he’s started seeing someone new? There has been a check in at at romantic restaurant, a homemade breakfast and take away posts. He hasn’t responded to me for 2 days again…
      I’m doing all of these things. But he is unpredictable in he’s replies and doesn’t tend to ask me any questions … feel like he’s just being polite by replying and the signs say he’s with someone new now….
      this has been going on since February …

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 12, 2017 at 7:13 pm

      if you think he’s really happy with her, and you don’t want to try, then let go.. but if you really want a chance, stop focusing on them.. because that’s not going to help you build rapport..

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 11, 2017 at 6:13 pm

      you have to just focus in building rapport..what matters more is how he feels during and after thr conversation and that you are continuing to improve yourself and actively posting

  19. EBR Team Member: Amor

    May 1, 2017 at 10:36 am

    pick a more casual topic instead of a reminder text.. anything that current that is in his interest like tv shows, sports, news etc.

  20. EBR Team Member: Amor

    April 16, 2017 at 2:03 pm

    That’s ok.. You can still initiate after two weeks..

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