Today we’re going to take you through the top 5 signs that your ex is trying to make you jealous, so you know exactly what to look for.
These are the top real life signs that our clients have reported back to us.
Let’s dive right in.
- Your ex brags about his new girlfriend or the dates he’s going on everywhere he can
- Posting on social media about how awesome his life is without you in it
- Talking to you directly about how happy he is without you
- Posting or sending pictures of his body trying to get you to comment
- Asking your advice on the “new girl”
Sign #1: Your Ex Brags About His New Girlfriend Everywhere He Can
A common theme among almost all these signs is social media – what your ex posts, how frequently they post, and what their posts mean.
If your ex has moved on or gone on the rebound and they keep posting pictures of dates with this new person shortly after a breakup, it’s usually a sign that they’re just trying to make you jealous.
Now simply posting pictures isn’t necessarily the sign here; the frequency of their posts matters a lot too.
Let’s go back in time for a minute and look at your relationship: how often was your ex posting during the relationship? If they weren’t posting very often and all of a sudden after this breakup they’re posting a lot more frequently, there’s a good chance it’s all for show to make you jealous.
One under looked fact about this specific jealousy sign is whether your ex is actually on a casual rebound or they’ve truly moved on.
So if your ex breaks up with you and then immediately moves on to someone else, the timing indicates that this is more than likely a rebound relationship.
But if they broke up with you, waited a year, and then moved on to someone else, all of a sudden, it’s not so much of a jealousy ploy, and there might be some authentic feelings between the two of them.
Sign #2: Posting On Social Media About How Awesome Life Is Without You
This is something I see quite a lot within our private Facebook support group.
We have people asking what it means if their ex keeps posting about how great their life is. Honestly, we’ve seen it so often we’re almost certain it’s an indicator that your ex is trying to make you jealous.
So how does this work?
Now this sign is a little bit different than sign number one. Sign one was all about making you jealous through a new girl, whereas this is about bragging how great their life is without you regardless of whether there’s a new girl in their life.
Usually, this looks like a lot of partying with friends or going traveling, etc.
Of course, your ex won’t directly tag or mention you in the posts, but it’s still a subtle indirect signal that they’re doing so well without you,
So again, what you’re looking for here is not only those types of posts on social media, but you’re looking at how frequently those posts show up. Generally speaking, someone who’s being very obvious about this is going to be posting quite frequently.
Sign #3: Talking To You Directly About How Happy He Is Without You
Here on ex-boyfriend recovery, we often talk about our strategy.
It always starts with the no contact rule.
It then goes through the stages of the value ladder – incrementally building value and working your way up through the modes of communication from texting, calling, in-person meetups, romantic dates, to finally getting your ex back.
So the signs we’ve looked at thus far have been probably occurring during the no contact rule. You’ve made a conscious effort to ignore your ex, which can also needle them to want to make you jealous, and that stems from a fact that they want to win the breakup. This sign is different.
Usually this occurs after you get back in touch with them during the texting phase. This typically looks something like you asking your ex a casual “hey, how are you?” question, and instead of doing the usual “I’m good…” and changing the topic, they really dig into how well they’re doing. I’m talking excruciating detail about every little thing that’s going right in their life.
Sometimes they might even sprinkle in something like, “I’m so glad we decided to break up! It really helped me focus on this aspect of my life.”
This kind of behavior is usually a way to make you jealous.
Sign #4: Posting Or Sending Pictures Of His Body Trying To Get You To Comment
All right, so let’s talk about divorce for a minute. What’s really interesting about divorce is that a lot of people in marriages (or long-term relationships) tend to gain weight because they’re happy and complacent. But when they go through a divorce, they suddenly start losing all this weight and looking different.
This is an incredibly common thing proven by several studies about the psychology of divorce.
This is relevant here because while a breakup isn’t necessarily the same thing as a divorce – divorce is often a lot more difficult to get through than a simple breakup – there are some commonalities. This is especially true if your ex broke up with you because they need to feel validated in their choices.
If your ex was the one to break up with you, they need to prove that they made the right decision.
One of the best ways that they can do this, especially if they’re a man, is to go to the gym, pump some iron, lose some weight and then try to get your opinion on it…and by your opinion I mean they want you to compliment them and be jealous that you lost them.
Now usually, they’re going to be pretty subtle about this – they’re not going to just post shirtless pictures or videos. Most of the time, they’re going to send you a picture of them working out at the gym.
This can be taken a few different ways – could it be a genuine attempt to include you in their day? Maybe, but the cynic in me says it’s clearly a jealousy ploy to show how good they look after breaking up with you.
Again, they’re trying to make you jealous and trying to win the breakup at the same time. Most importantly, they’re trying to get you to comment positively about their new body. So should you give them that satisfaction? Absolutely not!
The best way to reply to an unsolicited gym pic is with an ambivalent “oh, that’s really nice” comment that shows you don’t care much, even if they’re jacked.
Sign #5: Asking Your Advice On The “New Girl”
Undoubtedly, one of the most difficult situations to be in is when you are implementing the being there method – talking to your ex as a friend when they are seeing someone else. So let’s say your ex is dating someone new, you’re both talking quiet frequently, and they end up asking for your feedback about some flowers for the “new girl.”
Regardless of how friendly you are with each other now, it’s still not appropriate for your ex to ask for your advice like that, so there’s a high chance he’s doing it to make you jealous and win the breakup. So how do you respond?
My best answer is to respond ONLY using the laughing crying face emoji because it can have different meanings:
Are you laughing at their audacity to ask you for advice on their new girlfriend?
Or do you think the flowers are ridiculous?
Your ex won’t know what you mean, and it’ll drive them crazy. If they ask for clarification, don’t respond until a few days later and avoid that topic altogether!
Some exes really know how to grind your gears and make you jealous. They can even do it in a way that makes you doubt if they’re even trying to make you jealous or if it’s just random.
There are five main signs you want to keep an eye out for but before we get into the signs, let’s quickly clarify what an ex is trying to do when they make you jealous.
They’re trying to “win the breakup.”
Winning the breakup can mean anything from who moves on to a better partner first to who gets over the breakup and proceeds with their normal life first. Your ex, especially if he broke up with you, feels a constant need to win the breakup, and the most effective way to do it is to make you jealous. After all, they need to keep reassuring themselves that they made the right choice to leave you.
Now let’s get into the 5 signs that your ex is trying to make you jealous:
1. Bragging about his new girlfriend or the dates he’s going on everywhere he can
2. Posting on social media about how awesome his life is without you in it
3. Talking to you directly about how happy he is without you
4. Posting or sending pictures of his body trying to get you to comment
5. Asking your advice on “the new girl”