“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” -William Penn.
So you want to make your ex jealous . . .
Well, I can definitely tell you how to do that.
But before you post your first status to make your ex jealous I want you to ask yourself a serious question- is that what you REALLY want?
Jealous people experience a range of emotions and reaction, ranging from discomfort, to rage. Sometimes they become so distressed that they can become sick, or violent. In other instances, the factor making them jealous is so upsetting, they will avoid it at all costs in order to save themselves from that distress.
This means that, if your ex becomes jealous, he might experience distress, and feel uncomfortable or enraged.
He may even feel sick. He may even, depending upon his personality, become violent.
And some exes will withdraw completely, because they cannot stand the thought of viewing or learning any new information that brings up these feelings again.
Are you really ready to handle all of those possibilities? You know your ex best, so you can likely best predict what his reaction will be.
If there is even the slightest possibility that he will become violent – DO NOT use jealousy tactics.
Also, remind yourself that, if your ex actually becomes extremely distressed to the point of feeling ill, you will have hurt a person you care for. And worst of all, if you have an introverted ex boyfriend, you can cause him to withdraw into a shell that will take a long time to get him out of.
But, when used carefully and intelligently, status posts intended to evoke jealousy in an ex boyfriend can actually be an effective tool in a campaign to get him back. It reminds him that he misses you, and he doesn’t want anyone else to snap you up. This motivates him, and inspires him to chase you again, which is essential to rebuilding attraction and longing.
Is He Even Checking My Social Media?
The most common questions we get asked theses days are the following:
“How do I make my ex jealous on Facebook?”
“How do I make my ex miss me with Instagram?”
It makes sense too. Almost everyone does everything on Social Media these days. I bet you didn’t know that you can get you ex back using social media.
Most guys, even if they are not active on social media themselves, admit to checking in and doing at least minor, if not obsessive stalking of their ex-girlfriend’s social media after a breakup. It doesn’t even matter if he doesn’t have his own Facebook or Snapchat or Instagram account. Want to know why? He has friends, and they have their accounts. He will ask his friends to look at your accounts, and they will. Or they will offer up that information automatically. That’s why using social media posts is one of your most effective tools to get your ex back.
So, you have to have a game plan. If you are strategic, and plan ahead, you can influence your ex through your posts. There are a couple of things you want to use social media for. One of them is to show you are happy, feeling positive, and living a great life without him. Another is evoking jealousy, which is what we will focus on in this article.
Rules For Social Media Posts
Before you put this campaign into action, you need to focus on your branding. Think of it like this, your brand is your image. You don’t want to send the wrong message. So, put some thought into this.
What do you want to convey to him and to the world at large? If you don’t want to seem like a frivolous party girl, be careful about posting lots of pictures with alcohol or out at the club with guys. If you don’t want to seem boring, make sure you are posting about doing interesting things. And the number one rule of thumb is, look your very best, and smile.
Practice your smile and angles in the mirror. Now, for myself, when I look in the mirror, I automatically angle my face, and smile in the particular way that I think is the most attractive. Then, when someone takes a photo of me, I inspect it, only to demand that they take another, and another, because I “hate the way I look.”
To avoid this, you have to do a couple things, that every model already knows: you have to practice in the mirror. You have to remember how your face feels at that angle and expression. And you have to take photographs (selfies) of yourself to inspect how it looks in photographs. This muscle memory can fade over time, I can attest, so revisit it intermittently.
The Best Case Scenario
The best case scenario for a jealousy status post is that your Ex sees it, and instantly feels a sharp pang of missing you. That’s the sweet spot you’re aiming for. You also need to think about how you are going to direct his feelings after you have stirred them up. These suggestions are just a guide, but you can riff off of them and come up with your own, as long as you keep that in mind.
Types of Jealous Posts
“I’m A Great Cook And You Aren’t Here”
So, do you cook? At all, even a little bit? If you ever cooked for your ex, and he is the type to enjoy a nicely executed home-cooked meal, this is a no-brainer. All you have to do is plan something really yummy, that will photograph well, and make it.
When he sees the post, you’ll be activating multiple senses. His sense of smell, his sense of taste, his visual sense, and his sense of memory. All of these things are important. If you leave a caption like “John Mayer is the perfect accompaniment for cooking!” or whatever music you love to listen to, you’re throwing in another sense as well.
One time, when an old boyfriend and I were separated by distance, I called him as I drove back to my school in another city. I could hear Sinatra playing in the background and I asked him what he was doing. He told me he was studying while his (female) roommate was making lasagna for dinner as a thank you for something or other. Needless to say, no matter how much I played it cool, I couldn’t get the picture out of my head of the two of them sharing romantic plates of lasagna over glasses of wine, listening to that music, in the kitchen I had just left. It made me sick!
Worse, she was drop dead gorgeous, and very nice.
What you want is to make your ex wish he was the one over there enjoying that meal you just prepared. Do you want to kick it up a notch?
Do a search for how to make your food photography look good. Generally, white plates, attractive garnish, a nice table setting, and good lighting are key.
Wear a cute apron, do your hair and makeup, and get a shot of yourself by the stove. I actually wear aprons every single time I cook, and some of them are really cute and reserved for when “company” is involved. You can pick them up at Target!
Want to see some *really* cute kitchen inspiration photo shoot pics? Google “Rachael Ray photo shoot.” You’re welcome!
Either have some people over, and get them in one of the photos, it helps if at least one of them is male, or just allude to them being over, by showing how many table settings there are. Tread carefully here. If you purposefully set the table for two, and it has candles, and it looks romantic, it’s going to be very obvious what you are implying, and it will drive your ex absolutely crazy. You don’t need to go this far to activate all of your ex’s senses and make him miss you and wish he was there, but this is up to you.
If you have a game night, etc., afterward, all the better- you are having a great night of fun without your ex, with fun people – show it off!
Be careful of your branding and showing alcohol in the photos, depending on your messaging.
How to Caption This Post To Stir Jealousy
For the cooking post, remember the senses you are trying to activate. So, if it’s a dish he really loves, and you are making it for someone else now, bring up how great it’s making the house smell. If it’s a labor-intensive dish, and you are making it for someone else, mention the effort you are putting in for this other group of people or special person. Mention how great it tastes!
“I Went Somewhere Cool Without You”
Do you have a great trip planned, to somewhere incredible? Definitely make the most of that in your status posts. You don’t? Don’t worry, every new place you go is basically up for grabs in this category. The point of these posts is that you are living a fun, amazing life. You are glowing, happy, and out in the world. When your ex sees the photo evidence of this, he’s going to know that other men are interacting with you in these places. Gazing upon you. Talking to you. Making you laugh. Maybe asking for your number . . . . see where we’re going with this?
So, I’m afraid you do have to plan ahead a bit before you walk out of your house these days. Your hair and your smile need to be on point. But, you also need to have a partner in crime, most of the time- to take your picture. Selfies work for this, but it’s better to have someone snapping your photo for you.
You know when people go on vacation, and they post all those photos of the beautiful scenery and everything interesting they saw there? Forget that. What you want, ideally, are beautiful photographs of you in gorgeous settings. So, you standing by the palm tree in your sarong with a beaming smile, hair playing in the wind. You, surrounded by cute foreign nationals at a castle or overseas sporting event. You, at the new brewery, trying the latest microbrew and getting a little foam on your upper lip.
How To Caption This Post to Stir Jealousy
For this post, focus again on stimulating the senses. So, mention things that will bring alive the smells, sounds, tastes, touches, of the scene. If the breeze is so soft and the sun is so warm, and the waves are nice and cool and the sangria is perfect after the salty water . . . say it, girl! Show the world that you are enjoying every minute of your life, because that is attractive, and men flock to that. You will probably get a lot of comments on the post with a caption like that. Your Ex will certainly know he is not the only one taking notice, which is the point.
I Went To “Our Place” Without You
Status posts that make it obvious you are revisiting something that used to be special to the two of you, and having a great time doing it without him, will give your Ex a jealous pang. This could be a restaurant, a hiking trail, a vacation spot, or just that you are engaging in some other sort of tradition you used to share with him, such as “Taco Tuesday.” The point you are getting across is “life goes on, and I’m moving on without you, pal.” His reaction? “Oh no! I can’t believe she went there/is doing that without ME! I really miss her!”
As always, make sure you look great and happy in the photo. There are two ways you could do this status post. You could tag other people in it, platonic or not. Tagging other people in posts is great, because you get extra likes and comments from their network. It also shows that you have a supportive group of friends. OR, if you want to really drive him crazy, you could make it obvious that someone else took the photo, but leave him wondering “who?” by not mentioning it, and not tagging anyone else at all.
How To Caption This Post to Stir Jealousy
For this post, all you have to do is make sure you use the word “favorite” somewhere in the post. Make it clear this did not stop being your “favorite” after the breakup, and you aren’t afraid to share it with other people. Example: “This sunrise = why this is my favorite hike!” or “Can’t beat your favorite dog park!” Use these posts sparingly. If you use too many of them, it will look like you are going on a memory tour of your relationship, and not really moving on, which is a little pathetic. It also gives your Ex a blueprint of how to track you, which you don’t always want – you want to be a bit mysterious, and not have him thinking you are always sticking to the same old routine.
Don’t ask me why, but photographs of girls in the outdoors smiling and enjoying themselves get some of the biggest responses from guys of all time. When you post a well-put together photo in this category, you will pull a lot of male attention to your post in the form of likes, and comments. Just imagine your Ex stalking your social media, clicking through the profiles of each male who liked or commented your post, wondering “Who is this guy? How does she know him?”
Even more than that, though, you will be evoking a primal reaction in your Ex, himself. I’ll tell you a story. During my own breakup’s No Contact Rule period, I went on an excursion to pick fruit. I didn’t wear anything skimpy, but I did wear a knee-length skirt. My girlfriend obliged me by taking endless photographs of me posing with a basket of fruit and a nice smile, and after scrolling through many of them, I eventually posted one on social media. Well, not only did it receive positive attention online, but I was floored by the barrage of offline comments I received from male acquaintances! This seemingly innocuous, wholesome photo caused a firestorm from men I knew and did not know- but most of them didn’t want to comment on it, or like it, for some reason. So, I knew, when my Ex saw it, he had to be having the same reaction.
These status posts are not rocket science. Nature provides a beautiful backdrop. All you need to do is bring your smile and a willing friend. If you need ideas for outfits, I suggest looking through various clothing catalogs. Sporting catalogs are good for this, such as Orvis, Patagonia, LL Bean, Land’s End, Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, but you can bring any type of style to the outdoors and it will work, as long as you look happy. Don’t cover up completely- if it’s winter, try to at least shake your hair out so you get that little bit of sex appeal in the photo. Show some bare arm or leg, make sure your lashes are fluttering, you get the picture!
How To Caption This Post to Stir Jealousy
For this post, again, stimulate the viewer’s senses. It’s the great outdoors, after all! This time, they are going to be thinking about how YOUR senses are being affected . . . and it’s going to be a bit more sensual, believe it or not! But you don’t have to take it there – stay wholesome! So, if you were out on a really cold day, say, “Hot cocoa was the perfect ending to this snowy walk!’ instead of “my fingers were frozen!”
The most obvious posts to send an Ex into a jealous funk are date posts, meaning, posts that either imply, or straight out make it obvious that you are on a date. There are several different levels of date posts, however.
- Jealousy Food Pic
- Possible Group Date Pic
- I Had An Amazing Night Pic
In the “Jealousy Food Pic” status you go to a restaurant with a man and take a photo of the delicious food delivered to your table. Get his arm in the photo, or perhaps even some of his body, so that it is obvious you are there with a man. Alternatively, take a photo of your two beer glasses, or wine glasses, etc. You can “check in” to the location, and then leave a caption about the great food or new restaurant, saying nothing about the company you are with. Less is more – leave something to the imagination with this one.
This drives an ex absolutely bonkers wondering who in the heck you are out with, and whether it is a date, a platonic friend, someone they already know, someone they don’t . . . and in fact, it is so open to interpretation that you can totally play it off later, by saying it was your brother, cousin, or a guy from your office.
For the “Possible Group Date Pic,” you want to be out with even numbers of guys and girls, and take a photo where you are smiling and having fun. It doesn’t really matter where you are – ball game, shopping mall, night club, city park. Out with your girlfriends but didn’t go with men? Find some cute ones and borrow them for the photo. Hey, all is fair in love and war! As for the caption – don’t comment whatsoever on the men in the photo. Tag your girlfriend, so you get double likes and comments on the post, and make the caption very generic: “Love cheering on my favorite team with my bestie!” or “Could the weather be any better?!”
Now, if you really feel like playing with fire, you can go all out and post the “I Had an Amazing Night” pic. This is for you girls who are in a real vindictive, “burn it down” mode with your ex. The ideal post in this category would look something like this: you, in to-die-for evening down, leaning against the balcony of the tallest building in town, sparkling cityscape behind you, holding a glass of the most expensive champagne sold. You “check in” to the obviously, and ridiculously, swanky and expensive location. The caption is something along the line of “getting swept off my feet . . .amazing night” (add heart emoji.) Add hashtags such as #domperignon, #caviardreams, #everygirllovesalimo, etc. Obviously, this ideal is just a model. Adjust for what’s possible in your location. Your ex will definitely wonder who is on the other side of the camera. Be careful of not going overboard and looking desperate or fake.
So, let’s review! Jealousy is not something to be played with lightly. You only want to use it sparingly, and you can evoke jealousy in an Ex without implying you are with another man at all! Just getting male attention online for your beautiful picture is often enough. Take the time to learn how to take beautiful photos, and plan ahead before you leave the house, to get great photos while you are out. Consider tagging others in your photos so that you get higher visibility, comments, and likes on the posts. And always be true to your branding!
For more ways to make your ex miss you watch this video Chris made.
Alright, so now that you have all the tools you need to get your exes attention and make him jealous using the power of social media, let’s talk about your specific situation. Every situation is different and each one deserves to be analyzed by it’s parts.
So, in the comments below I want you to tell me:
- All about your breakup. What details do you think make your situation unique?
- What have you done since the breakup?
- Taking what you have learned so far, from this article and from the rest of the EBR material, what do you intend to do moving forward?
Our experts will take the information you give us and help you figure out what your best next step is moving forward to get your ex back.