By Tara O' Malley

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” -William Penn.

So you want to make your ex jealous . . .

Well, I can definitely tell you how to do that.

But before you post your first status to make your ex jealous I want you to ask yourself a serious question- is that what you REALLY want?

Jealous people experience a range of emotions and reaction, ranging from discomfort, to rage. Sometimes they become so distressed that they can become sick, or violent. In other instances, the factor making them jealous is so upsetting, they will avoid it at all costs in order to save themselves from that distress.

This means that, if your ex becomes jealous, he might experience distress, and feel uncomfortable or enraged.

He may even feel sick. He may even, depending upon his personality, become violent.

And some exes will withdraw completely, because they cannot stand the thought of viewing or learning any new information that brings up these feelings again.

Are you really ready to handle all of those possibilities? You know your ex best, so you can likely best predict what his reaction will be.

If there is even the slightest possibility that he will become violent – DO NOT use jealousy tactics.

Also, remind yourself that, if your ex actually becomes extremely distressed to the point of feeling ill, you will have hurt a person you care for. And worst of all, if you have an introverted ex boyfriend, you can cause him to withdraw into a shell that will take a long time to get him out of.

But, when used carefully and intelligently, status posts intended to evoke jealousy in an ex boyfriend can actually be an effective tool in a campaign to get him back. It reminds him that he misses you, and he doesn’t want anyone else to snap you up. This motivates him, and inspires him to chase you again, which is essential to rebuilding attraction and longing.

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Is He Even Checking My Social Media?

The most common questions we get asked theses days are the following:

“How do I make my ex jealous on Facebook?”

“How do I make my ex miss me with Instagram?”

It makes sense too. Almost everyone does everything on Social Media these days. I bet you didn’t know that you can get you ex back using social media.

Most guys, even if they are not active on social media themselves, admit to checking in and doing at least minor, if not obsessive stalking of their ex-girlfriend’s social media after a breakup. It doesn’t even matter if he doesn’t have his own Facebook or Snapchat or Instagram account. Want to know why? He has friends, and they have their accounts. He will ask his friends to look at your accounts, and they will. Or they will offer up that information automatically. That’s why using social media posts is one of your most effective tools to get your ex back.

So, you have to have a game plan. If you are strategic, and plan ahead, you can influence your ex through your posts. There are a couple of things you want to use social media for. One of them is to show you are happy, feeling positive, and living a great life without him. Another is evoking jealousy, which is what we will focus on in this article.

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Rules For Social Media Posts

Before you put this campaign into action, you need to focus on your branding. Think of it like this, your brand is your image. You don’t want to send the wrong message. So, put some thought into this.

What do you want to convey to him and to the world at large? If you don’t want to seem like a frivolous party girl, be careful about posting lots of pictures with alcohol or out at the club with guys. If you don’t want to seem boring, make sure you are posting about doing interesting things. And the number one rule of thumb is, look your very best, and smile.

Practice your smile and angles in the mirror. Now, for myself, when I look in the mirror, I automatically angle my face, and smile in the particular way that I think is the most attractive. Then, when someone takes a photo of me, I inspect it, only to demand that they take another, and another, because I “hate the way I look.”

To avoid this, you have to do a couple things, that every model already knows: you have to practice in the mirror. You have to remember how your face feels at that angle and expression. And you have to take photographs (selfies) of yourself to inspect how it looks in photographs. This muscle memory can fade over time, I can attest, so revisit it intermittently.

Digitalcameraworld.com put together an awesome infographic that is super helpful in finding flattering poses for photos. You can find it here.

The Best Case Scenario

The best case scenario for a jealousy status post is that your Ex sees it, and instantly feels a sharp pang of missing you. That’s the sweet spot you’re aiming for. You also need to think about how you are going to direct his feelings after you have stirred them up. These suggestions are just a guide, but you can riff off of them and come up with your own, as long as you keep that in mind.

Types of Jealous Posts

“I’m A Great Cook And You Aren’t Here”

So, do you cook? At all, even a little bit? If you ever cooked for your ex, and he is the type to enjoy a nicely executed home-cooked meal, this is a no-brainer. All you have to do is plan something really yummy, that will photograph well, and make it.

When he sees the post, you’ll be activating multiple senses. His sense of smell, his sense of taste, his visual sense, and his sense of memory. All of these things are important. If you leave a caption like “John Mayer is the perfect accompaniment for cooking!” or whatever music you love to listen to, you’re throwing in another sense as well.

One time, when an old boyfriend and I were separated by distance, I called him as I drove back to my school in another city. I could hear Sinatra playing in the background and I asked him what he was doing. He told me he was studying while his (female) roommate was making lasagna for dinner as a thank you for something or other. Needless to say, no matter how much I played it cool, I couldn’t get the picture out of my head of the two of them sharing romantic plates of lasagna over glasses of wine, listening to that music, in the kitchen I had just left. It made me sick!

Worse, she was drop dead gorgeous, and very nice.

What you want is to make your ex wish he was the one over there enjoying that meal you just prepared. Do you want to kick it up a notch?

Do a search for how to make your food photography look good. Generally, white plates, attractive garnish, a nice table setting, and good lighting are key.

Wear a cute apron, do your hair and makeup, and get a shot of yourself by the stove. I actually wear aprons every single time I cook, and some of them are really cute and reserved for when “company” is involved. You can pick them up at Target!

Want to see some *really* cute kitchen inspiration photo shoot pics? Google “Rachael Ray photo shoot.” You’re welcome!

Either have some people over, and get them in one of the photos, it helps if at least one of them is male, or just allude to them being over, by showing how many table settings there are. Tread carefully here. If you purposefully set the table for two, and it has candles, and it looks romantic, it’s going to be very obvious what you are implying, and it will drive your ex absolutely crazy. You don’t need to go this far to activate all of your ex’s senses and make him miss you and wish he was there, but this is up to you.

If you have a game night, etc., afterward, all the better- you are having a great night of fun without your ex, with fun people – show it off!

Be careful of your branding and showing alcohol in the photos, depending on your messaging.

How to Caption This Post To Stir Jealousy

For the cooking post, remember the senses you are trying to activate. So, if it’s a dish he really loves, and you are making it for someone else now, bring up how great it’s making the house smell. If it’s a labor-intensive dish, and you are making it for someone else, mention the effort you are putting in for this other group of people or special person. Mention how great it tastes!

“I Went Somewhere Cool Without You”

Do you have a great trip planned, to somewhere incredible? Definitely make the most of that in your status posts. You don’t? Don’t worry, every new place you go is basically up for grabs in this category. The point of these posts is that you are living a fun, amazing life. You are glowing, happy, and out in the world. When your ex sees the photo evidence of this, he’s going to know that other men are interacting with you in these places. Gazing upon you. Talking to you. Making you laugh. Maybe asking for your number . . . . see where we’re going with this?

So, I’m afraid you do have to plan ahead a bit before you walk out of your house these days. Your hair and your smile need to be on point. But, you also need to have a partner in crime, most of the time- to take your picture. Selfies work for this, but it’s better to have someone snapping your photo for you.

You know when people go on vacation, and they post all those photos of the beautiful scenery and everything interesting they saw there? Forget that. What you want, ideally, are beautiful photographs of you in gorgeous settings. So, you standing by the palm tree in your sarong with a beaming smile, hair playing in the wind. You, surrounded by cute foreign nationals at a castle or overseas sporting event. You, at the new brewery, trying the latest microbrew and getting a little foam on your upper lip.

How To Caption This Post to Stir Jealousy

For this post, focus again on stimulating the senses. So, mention things that will bring alive the smells, sounds, tastes, touches, of the scene. If the breeze is so soft and the sun is so warm, and the waves are nice and cool and the sangria is perfect after the salty water . . . say it, girl! Show the world that you are enjoying every minute of your life, because that is attractive, and men flock to that. You will probably get a lot of comments on the post with a caption like that. Your Ex will certainly know he is not the only one taking notice, which is the point.

I Went To “Our Place” Without You

Status posts that make it obvious you are revisiting something that used to be special to the two of you, and having a great time doing it without him, will give your Ex a jealous pang. This could be a restaurant, a hiking trail, a vacation spot, or just that you are engaging in some other sort of tradition you used to share with him, such as “Taco Tuesday.” The point you are getting across is “life goes on, and I’m moving on without you, pal.” His reaction? “Oh no! I can’t believe she went there/is doing that without ME! I really miss her!”

As always, make sure you look great and happy in the photo. There are two ways you could do this status post. You could tag other people in it, platonic or not. Tagging other people in posts is great, because you get extra likes and comments from their network. It also shows that you have a supportive group of friends. OR, if you want to really drive him crazy, you could make it obvious that someone else took the photo, but leave him wondering “who?” by not mentioning it, and not tagging anyone else at all.

How To Caption This Post to Stir Jealousy

For this post, all you have to do is make sure you use the word “favorite” somewhere in the post. Make it clear this did not stop being your “favorite” after the breakup, and you aren’t afraid to share it with other people. Example: “This sunrise = why this is my favorite hike!” or “Can’t beat your favorite dog park!” Use these posts sparingly. If you use too many of them, it will look like you are going on a memory tour of your relationship, and not really moving on, which is a little pathetic. It also gives your Ex a blueprint of how to track you, which you don’t always want – you want to be a bit mysterious, and not have him thinking you are always sticking to the same old routine.

Outdoor Posts

Don’t ask me why, but photographs of girls in the outdoors smiling and enjoying themselves get some of the biggest responses from guys of all time. When you post a well-put together photo in this category, you will pull a lot of male attention to your post in the form of likes, and comments. Just imagine your Ex stalking your social media, clicking through the profiles of each male who liked or commented your post, wondering “Who is this guy? How does she know him?”

Even more than that, though, you will be evoking a primal reaction in your Ex, himself. I’ll tell you a story. During my own breakup’s No Contact Rule period, I went on an excursion to pick fruit. I didn’t wear anything skimpy, but I did wear a knee-length skirt. My girlfriend obliged me by taking endless photographs of me posing with a basket of fruit and a nice smile, and after scrolling through many of them, I eventually posted one on social media. Well, not only did it receive positive attention online, but I was floored by the barrage of offline comments I received from male acquaintances! This seemingly innocuous, wholesome photo caused a firestorm from men I knew and did not know- but most of them didn’t want to comment on it, or like it, for some reason. So, I knew, when my Ex saw it, he had to be having the same reaction.

These status posts are not rocket science. Nature provides a beautiful backdrop. All you need to do is bring your smile and a willing friend. If you need ideas for outfits, I suggest looking through various clothing catalogs. Sporting catalogs are good for this, such as Orvis, Patagonia, LL Bean, Land’s End, Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, but you can bring any type of style to the outdoors and it will work, as long as you look happy. Don’t cover up completely- if it’s winter, try to at least shake your hair out so you get that little bit of sex appeal in the photo. Show some bare arm or leg, make sure your lashes are fluttering, you get the picture!

How To Caption This Post to Stir Jealousy

For this post, again, stimulate the viewer’s senses. It’s the great outdoors, after all! This time, they are going to be thinking about how YOUR senses are being affected . . . and it’s going to be a bit more sensual, believe it or not! But you don’t have to take it there – stay wholesome! So, if you were out on a really cold day, say, “Hot cocoa was the perfect ending to this snowy walk!’ instead of “my fingers were frozen!”

Date posts

The most obvious posts to send an Ex into a jealous funk are date posts, meaning, posts that either imply, or straight out make it obvious that you are on a date. There are several different levels of date posts, however.

  • Jealousy Food Pic
  • Possible Group Date Pic
  • I Had An Amazing Night Pic

In the “Jealousy Food Pic” status you go to a restaurant with a man and take a photo of the delicious food delivered to your table. Get his arm in the photo, or perhaps even some of his body, so that it is obvious you are there with a man. Alternatively, take a photo of your two beer glasses, or wine glasses, etc. You can “check in” to the location, and then leave a caption about the great food or new restaurant, saying nothing about the company you are with. Less is more – leave something to the imagination with this one.

This drives an ex absolutely bonkers wondering who in the heck you are out with, and whether it is a date, a platonic friend, someone they already know, someone they don’t . . . and in fact, it is so open to interpretation that you can totally play it off later, by saying it was your brother, cousin, or a guy from your office.

For the “Possible Group Date Pic,” you want to be out with even numbers of guys and girls, and take a photo where you are smiling and having fun. It doesn’t really matter where you are – ball game, shopping mall, night club, city park. Out with your girlfriends but didn’t go with men? Find some cute ones and borrow them for the photo. Hey, all is fair in love and war! As for the caption – don’t comment whatsoever on the men in the photo. Tag your girlfriend, so you get double likes and comments on the post, and make the caption very generic: “Love cheering on my favorite team with my bestie!” or “Could the weather be any better?!”

Now, if you really feel like playing with fire, you can go all out and post the “I Had an Amazing Night” pic. This is for you girls who are in a real vindictive, “burn it down” mode with your ex. The ideal post in this category would look something like this: you, in to-die-for evening down, leaning against the balcony of the tallest building in town, sparkling cityscape behind you, holding a glass of the most expensive champagne sold. You “check in” to the obviously, and ridiculously, swanky and expensive location. The caption is something along the line of “getting swept off my feet . . .amazing night” (add heart emoji.) Add hashtags such as #domperignon, #caviardreams, #everygirllovesalimo, etc. Obviously, this ideal is just a model. Adjust for what’s possible in your location. Your ex will definitely wonder who is on the other side of the camera. Be careful of not going overboard and looking desperate or fake.

So, let’s review! Jealousy is not something to be played with lightly. You only want to use it sparingly, and you can evoke jealousy in an Ex without implying you are with another man at all! Just getting male attention online for your beautiful picture is often enough. Take the time to learn how to take beautiful photos, and plan ahead before you leave the house, to get great photos while you are out. Consider tagging others in your photos so that you get higher visibility, comments, and likes on the posts. And always be true to your branding!

For more ways to make your ex miss you watch this video Chris made.

Alright, so now that you have all the tools you need to get your exes attention and make him jealous using the power of social media, let’s talk about your specific situation. Every situation is different and each one deserves to be analyzed by it’s parts.

So, in the comments below I want you to tell me:

  1. All about your breakup. What details do you think make your situation unique?
  2. What have you done since the breakup?
  3. Taking what you have learned so far, from this article and from the rest of the EBR material, what do you intend to do moving forward?

Our experts will take the information you give us and help you figure out what your best next step is moving forward to get your ex back.

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15 thoughts on “The Best Statuses To Make Your Ex Jealous”

  1. Avatar

    WELLICE

    January 4, 2020 at 7:46 pm

    I am the most happiest woman on earth right now, My fiancee that left me few months ago just came back to me last night crying to take him back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 4, 2020 at 8:44 pm

      Congratulations!!!

  2. Avatar

    TD

    November 10, 2019 at 10:09 am

    Guy I was dating put up a pic on his snapchat just over a week ago I work away alot and do make it look like im with someone for dinner drinks etc anytime Im away as I wanted him to commit more and be the one to say he wanted me but its back fired on me he put snap up I said to him and he said I thought you didnt care we chatted over next few days I told him he hurt me and then last msg said i didnt really want to loose touch as he helped me with alot of stuff but I didnt want to be messaging him if he didnt want to stay in touch he nva replied he kept watching all my insta and snapchat stories Ive since closed my snapchat stories form him as I think that sometimes seeing nothing is more curious for someone he continued watching my instas then he posted pic of girl on his insta yday but not them together in pic then on one of my instas yday I shared a story on my feed that was me doing dance routine to a song I dont care it wasnt directed at him it just happened to be that song ive since noticed hes unfollowed that insta but is still on my other insta and snapchat and last nite he added to his snapchat story for 1st time in a week a snap with the back of her head in it i havent opened it today is 1 wk since last contact do you think he is trying to get a reaction from me or has moved on. We were dating 4mths

  3. Avatar

    Kailey

    September 20, 2019 at 10:53 pm

    My ex and I broke up a month ago and I feel like I’ve made a mistake in social media terms. On Instagram, I made a private story only for him to see, to post to all day basically showing him what I’ve been up to. Should I stop doing this? I want him to miss me and come back and see what I’m doing and want to be apart of it so I thought this would be good and have him back. So far, nothing. My friends (both girls and guys) are telling me to hide him from seeing my stories on social media. Completely disappear and have him wonder what I’m up to. Will he forget about me? Is this too much? I think it might work considering he’s so used to being with me every single day and seeing what I’m up to via social media that he actually hasn’t had a real chance to actually miss me post breakup.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 21, 2019 at 2:43 pm

      Hi Kailey, so the idea of using social media to your advantage is by posting exciting and interesting things, but you need to make it public 1 – so he will see and be on the outside looking in, but also for people to comment on your posts about how great these activities are.

  4. Avatar

    Adeline

    August 10, 2019 at 2:52 pm

    Hi! I was dating this guy for 7 years, basically from the ages of 17-24. We broke up almost a month ago and I’ve really having a hard time getting through this.

    So basically we both agreed that we needed to take time for ourselves and do things for ourselves. We were so consumed with each other that this relationship was causing us more anxiety and stress. He also opened up to me and told me he’s been feeling like he’s not the guy for me and that I deserved better for a while now and how he couldn’t give me the things I wanted. He’s 26 and has been trying to figure himself out and his future, and he’s been struggling with that and many other things. Like he said, he’s at a stage where he’s not happy with himself and where he’s at. This has been happening for a while and we thought things will get better if we just do what we need to do as individuals, but the issues were still there. He’s frustrated and he’s going through a lot and well this relationship just added to the stress. He compared himself a lot to me as i have a degree and a good job.

    He always has to put other people first and he wants to focus on himself. Which i totally understand. He mentioned how we got together so young that we never really worried about ourselves and that was definitely becoming very evident in our relationship.
    We’re both unhappy right now and we knew that we needed to do this. Who knows if it makes our bond stronger in the future, but we’ve both felt like if things are meant to be again, it’ll happen. We had a good break up and it was mutual, but This is so hard and i miss him so much. We have not communicated at all but i do have him in social media (which doesn’t bother me at all). I agree that he needs this time for himself as do i. I’ve just been feeling so empty and broken for a while.

  5. Avatar

    Asisipho

    May 23, 2019 at 11:26 am

    Hi. I met a guy few weeks ago, it was love at first sight. It happened that we end up sleeping together. Now the thing is I asked him about the direction of our relationship, he said all he can offer now is fun and we can try building something as we go on.

    I ended things with him few days back because I felt like I can’t settle for fun. I now miss him, wish to talk to him. I feel like trying things with him maybe we might reach the stage of a proper relationship. I’m confused and I like the guy please help.

  6. Avatar

    Kate

    February 18, 2018 at 1:06 pm

    Hello. So how do you know that he is NOT back because of his ego and pride? What if he comes back just to break your heart again, and then he leaves. How do you know that he deserves a chance and that he is back because of love?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 20, 2018 at 12:37 pm

      Hi Kate,

      Don’t take him back easily..let him prove to you first that he has good intentions

  7. Avatar

    Luisa

    January 19, 2018 at 2:10 pm

    Hi, I have a question..
    So my ex and I broke up little over two years ago after three wonderful years, but we continued to hook up for the following six months. During this period a “don’t worry about her, she’s just a friend” girl appeared. Eventually I realized that it was going nowhere and I did no contact for month and a half, not only to make him miss me, but to pull myself together after the awful six months. My ex and this new girl became official, and during the reminder of the year we continued to talk in a casual but with distance kind of way. And I always got the impression he was trying to make me jealous..he did everything he said he was going to do with me, with her, constantly changed his profile pic on whatsapp.. stuff like that.

    Last year we talked like seven times, and everytime it would be with distance, like all our familiarity was gone and we were trying to make it not so awkward. Like we were okay with each other even though you could feel the tension. So I thought that it was all done with I should move on, and realize that whatever friendship we might have built (we were best friends in school and I’ve known him since we were 8) was gone. Still I wanted to keep my social game up and I used instastories to just cause a little jealousy.. you know, nothing harmful in that, just to let him know that I was done chasing after him.

    Now this tuesday he wrote to me out of the blue, saying that it had been awhile since he knew off me and that the only things he knew were due to my instastories. So I replied a lilttle playfull and sassy saying that he must be lost since I haven’t posted anything for month and a half, he replied that he’s been lost for much longer. He asked me about my recent trip, I asked him about his and replied about mine… and then he never replied again…

    I don’t get it why he does that?! He appears out of the blue and then just leaves. It felt as if we were talking face to face and then he just turned around and left.

    As far as I know he’s still dating this girl, and some mutual friends tell me that they do nothing but fight all the time and he flirts with a lot of women (none of this happened with me)

    But yeah… I’m confused..

    Thank you for your help!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 20, 2018 at 4:17 am

      Hi Luisa,

      Maybe they’re having problems and he knows you would reply every time he contacts you.

  8. Avatar

    Cynthia

    January 16, 2018 at 7:30 pm

    What works for introverted guys, specifically? My ex doesn’t react to jealousy well. If he felt threatened in the slightest, he would pull away or act out.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2018 at 7:00 am

  9. Avatar

    Marnie Shriver

    January 16, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    My situation is hard. My boyfriend was recently diagnosed with bi polar. He left town for a getaway cross country trip and has now decided to stay in Boulder. He does a lot of push and pull. He will tell much he loves me, misses me, and how I’ve changed his life then disappears for a few days. Mind you I always wait for him to text. I never initiate. I’m being very supportive of his journey but he still treats me like this. I never beg for him to come back or guilt him for leaving. This has been so hard and I’m still supportive of him. He treats total strangers with more respect than me. So confused. Every time I try to break it off he won’t let me. I tried to break up before he left! We just decided to stop communicating. It’s been one day. It’s really hard but I’m sticking to it! I’m just hurt that even through a health issue is is pushing me away. HELP!!!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2018 at 6:40 am

      Hi Marnie,

      Frankly, don’t allow him to do that.. We get what we allow..