Today, we’re going to talk about social media posts or statuses that can make your ex jealous.
Now, as always, we try to make this an all encompassing guide on jealousy through social media.
So ideally, every thing that we’re talking about today can be used on a wide variety of different social media platforms from Instagram to Facebook, to TikTok, Snapchat, you name it.
We’re trying to be all inclusive, but at the same time, we’re also trying to take from him real life experiences that our clients are actually experiencing. So every single status that we’re going to be listing here today has not just been pulled randomly from a hat.
We’ve actually surveyed our audience and tried to figure out exactly what sort of posts that they use ended up eliciting jealousy. So if you aren’t familiar, one of the reasons that we feel our program is one of the best in the world is because we give you access to a special private Facebook support group.
And the Facebook support group as of today has over 6,100 members in it.
So what I usually do sometimes when I want real life data from real life people going through breakups and what’s working to get their exes back is I’ll survey the Facebook group.
I’ll simply ask them a question and that’s exactly what I did here.
I went to the Facebook group with over 6,100 different men and women, and asked them the simple question of, what were some of the best statuses that you posted that eventually made your ex jealous on social media?
And we got over 22 answers as of right now and it’s still growing.
But I went ahead and found there are certain patterns that are beginning to emerge, specifically nine patterns that we noticed emerge. So what I’d like to do is take a real live status update or picture, or post via social media that our clients have used and elicited jealousy.
The 9 Statuses That Can Make Your Ex Jealous
So like I said, nine different statuses or posts that can make your ex jealous.
So let’s briefly cover what those are.
- The Sports Montage Post
- The Holy Trinity Ungettable Post
- The Food Jealousy Post
- The Drink Jealousy Post
- The Mirror Selfie In A Bar Post
- The Going Out On Their Birthday Post
- The Having Fun With Someone Else Post
- The Killing It At Work Post
- The Look Where I Am Post.
So what I’m going to do is briefly talk about what each one of these looks like and means.
So let’s start from the top and talk about the sports montage post.
The Sports Montage Post
The sports montage post was posted in our Facebook support group by a woman named Amy who basically said roughly two and a half weeks into her no contact, she posted like one of those montage on Instagram that kind of allows you to post multiple pictures at once with her football girls.
Now she is in the UK and football is commonly referred to in America as soccer.
So basically she posted football/soccer posts of her since she’s on a soccer team.
And this definitely elicited a reaction from her ex. And she says that it wasn’t even to get him to feel that I was finally comfortable. I think by natural progress, it happened and showed through and it got a lot of attention including his.
So what do we learn from Amy here?
Well, we learned that being active is important.
So especially if you’re not a very confident person or you’re trying to rebuild your confidence sometimes entering into a sports league and posting photos of yourself in that sports league can be a really, really good idea.
Also, it has the added benefit and probably my best recommendation is Amy already was part of a soccer league. But what sometimes is interesting is there’s these leagues in America and I’m not really sure how the UK works exactly. But when I was in college, we had something called coed softball.
So basically it was like softball, sort of like baseball, except the underhand softball thing, where you were allowed to have teams made up of both males and females. So one of the smartest things you can do is posting sort of team pictures, or you sort of doing awesome things on the field, like these montage things, but also with members of the opposite sex to elicit some of that jealousy within your ex. And as you can see, it can be an incredibly effective approach.
The Holy Trinity Ungettable Post
Next, we have the Holy Trinity ungettable posts and this one comes to us directly from a woman named Amanda who says, “I can’t do the jealousy posts as it will 100% backfire being used on my ex. I know him, but simply me being UG,” which is sort of an acronym for ungettable. “And sharing great pics on social media helped my case a lot. And he wants me back.”
So this is kind of interesting because really what she’s talking about with the ungettable posts, I think has more to do with sort of the Holy Trinity concept.
Now, the Holy Trinity, if you’re not familiar, is this concept that I came up with in 2013 or 2014 within the infancy of ex-boyfriend recovery, where I basically was trying to explain to people how they should be using or structuring their time during a no contact rule.
And I said, really, what you’re going to want to do is divide your life up into three distinct aspects:
Now in a perfect world, we would be able to balance our time in each of these areas and live a very balanced sort of transcended lifestyle. But what tends to happen during breakups is we put so much focus on the relationships portion of our Holy Trinity concept or categories that we kind of neglect the others.
And this kind of bleeds through to the others as well.
So imagine you go through a breakup, you’re very depressed about the breakup, very upset about the breakup.
And as a result you decide, I don’t really want to go for a run today, or I’m not really feeling like eating healthy today. I just want to eat something that can help distract myself from thinking about the breakup. Well, all of a sudden the breakup has negatively impacted your health and that kind of forces you to snowball.
And you sort of at work decide, I don’t really want to work really hard today, or I don’t really care about going into work. I’m going to stop going to work. And let’s say your boss calls and you get reprimanded and all of a sudden this negative relationship aspects can negatively impact your wealth as well.
So what’s interesting though, is the opposite is also true.
You can actually improve all the areas of your Holy Trinity by focus on the corresponding different or parallel area to the Holy Trinity. So let’s say for example, you’re really depressed, and you’ve sort of hit rock bottom. Instead of feeling like, oh my goodness, I’ve hit rock bottom.
Your attitude should be, oh yes, I’ve hit rock bottom. There’s only one way to go: up. And so you get to work, but you don’t get to work by focusing on obsessing about your ex. You get to work by focusing on obsessing about areas that you have full control over. Health, wealth, things like that.
And so what happens is you use the momentum you build from focusing on health and focusing on doing a good job at creating wealth, that it sort of bleeds over into relationships and relationships in and of itself doesn’t have to just be about your ex. It can be about your relationship with your family, your relationship with friends, relationship with support groups.
There’s a lot of different ways that we can kind of look at relationships. But the idea is by focusing on all the areas of the Holy Trinity that you have really positive control over, you can actually positively impact your relationship with your ex. And one of the cool ways that you can do this is through social media status updates that can ultimately make your ex jealous.
Because what you’re going to find out is a common theme here is your ex has a certain narrative that they’ve built in whenever you go through a breakup. So the narrative usually goes something like this.
They want me back, they’re going to get so depressed without me. So if you actually do the opposite of that and show them you’re doing the opposite of that by posting on social media, by posting really cool health updates, really cool wealth updates, really cool relationship updates with family and friends.
All of a sudden this narrative is sort of proven wrong, and this interests your ex again, and also makes them a little jealous because they in turn are still very hurt by the breakup.
The Food Jealousy Post
All right, so next we have the food jealousy post. And this comes to us from a woman named Velis who basically said, “I posted a jealousy picture of a Caesar salad made by me. Two plates. I was with a friend of mine, two glasses of white wine on my balcony. I posted it as a story on Instagram on day 21 of no contact. And he replied to it. After we started meeting again, he told me that this made him jealous.”
So this is actually a variation of something that I talk actually a ton about on some of the jealousy posts that I’ve written for ex-boyfriend recovery.
And this is sort of the subtle jealousy dig. So the story behind this one is basically one of my very first coaching clients when I was talking to them, she told me the story. And the story was that she posted a picture on Facebook. I think it was where she was on a date, but it wasn’t with a romantic partner.
It was just basically kind of like a meetup. So she posts a picture of her food and the meetup she has with this friend, the friend’s arm happens to be in the picture. And she was literally just trying to … She’s like one of those food blogger type people. So she was really just trying to focus on the food, but because the guy’s arm was in the picture, her ex literally went ballistic on her.
And I actually said, hey, do you mind if I tell that story to the Facebook group? And when I told people in the Facebook group, they loved it and started implementing it on their exes. And as you can see from Vellus here, it still is very effective. So what she basically did was she made a Caesar salad.
She doesn’t say or clarify if … She mentions that she was with a friend, but she doesn’t mention if the friend was pictured in it. So you can even go more subtle with this where you just, there’s two Caesar salads, and you’re just posting the picture of the Caesar salads, but you don’t actually need to see the other person at all.
And that can be incredibly effective at making an ex jealous because ultimately they’ll start to wonder, are they on a date with someone else who is this other food for, she can’t possibly be eating two Caesar salads herself.
So that’s how that works.
The Drink Jealousy Post
And the next type of jealousy post is actually called the drink jealousy post. And this is actually basically an identical version of what Vellus basically said, except we’re going to feature sort of a success story here named Susan.
Now, Susan basically says, “I’m not sure if you’re looking for pics, but this got my ERP guy back together, asking if I was on a hot date on my social media picture thread.” And she was actually kind enough to include a picture, which is basically just two drinks.
And you can actually see it appears like they’re at a bar somewhere. You can sort of see the bar set up behind the drinks, but there’s no guy pictured at all.
So it’s implied that she’s on a date with someone else, but it’s not so in your face. So as you can see, that sort of subtle jealousy idea through food or even drinks can be an incredibly effective motivator in making an ex jealous.
And the clear indication here is that I’m a big fan of subtle jealousy because I think ultimately people would use jealousy on them if they are prone to jealousy.
They are more tormented by the narrative that they create in their heads than by actually seeing something in the flesh, so to speak. So if you usually post a picture of you and another guy, and we’re actually going to feature that in a little bit here, you’ll find it’s sometimes not as effective as being more subtle.
And the reasoning behind that is because with some subtlety where it’s implied you’re on a date, but not explicitly stated you’re on a date, they allow their minds to run wild and ultimately become more and more jealous and really think about you more. And that’s ultimately what you want to have happen.
The Mirror Selfie In A Bar Post
All right, the next social media status update or post that we’re going to feature here is called the mirror selfie in a bar post. And this is actually going to come to us from a woman named Emily, who basically said, “I posted a mirror selfie of me dressed up in a bar. He messaged me two minutes after he saw it asking if I was on a date and said, I looked good.”
So this is even a further variation of sort of the food jealousy posts, the drink jealousy posts. And I want you to notice really the pattern that’s exhibiting here is subtlety seems to be the key. But also when you’re taking the mirror selfie in a bar post, the important thing here is the location.
We always have a certain stereotypical idea of what locations entail. I think nothing sort of illustrates this better than a show like The Bachelor. The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, they take the contestants on these incredible dates and some of the most incredible romantic locations.
And while I wouldn’t say a bar is an incredibly romantic location, what it does have a stereotype for is, hey, this is typically where men and women first meet when they’re beginning to learn about each other.
This is where men and women go out with friends to pick up people and sometimes even have one night stands and that can actually play into the jealousy factor. So if he sees you looking really good in a mirror selfie, posting a selfie in a mirror, but it’s also clearly shown in the background that you’re kind of at a bar, yeah, that can be an incredibly effective way of becoming jealous. And I would say this is like a really forceful, subtle jealousy.
And you’ll notice even Emily said, he messaged her two minutes after he saw it, asking if she was on a date and that she looked good.
So as you can see, it’s incredibly effective if you pull this off right.
So I think it goes without saying, you want to look your best in the mirror selfie, you want to make sure it’s explicitly shown that you’re at a bar without being so obvious about the bar. So really the key to subtlety is it’s never in your face. So the key here is really, she’s not taking a picture of herself and she is, but she’s not.
She’s taking a picture of herself and the fact that she’s at a bar, but the irony here is the mirror shows that she’s at the bar. The mirror is what sort of shows the location that you want your ex to see and be driven wild from.
The Going Out On Their Birthday Post
All right, the next one is called the going out on their birthday post. And this comes to us from a woman named Paula, who basically says, “I was going out for drinks with some friends on his birthday. Unintentional jealousy post as I thought I was still blocked at the time. Wink.”
Okay. So there’s actually two layers going on here.
Most of the time, when we get questions about exes and birthdays, it happens during the no contact rule. So if you aren’t familiar with the no contact rule, it’s a period of time where you’re ignoring your ex and you’re supposed to be using that time to outgrow your ex.
But oftentimes women and men get so hung up on the fact that they’re going to hurt their ex’s feelings if they don’t wish their ex a happy birthday, if their ex’s birthday falls in the midst of that no contact rule.
And it’s always like the bane of my existence, I’ve even done entire podcast episodes, I think even entire posts talking about why it’s important not to break the no contact rule for a simple birthday sort of greeting.
And oftentimes it’s because wishing your ex a happy birthday does not advance you at all. All it does is show that you’re thinking a lot about them. Instead, I actually think a smart approach would be doing what Paula does. Imagine this. Imagine you are so busy, you forget it’s your ex’s birthday. You’re busy living your life and having fun.
So you actually go out with friends, not necessarily to a bar, but it could just be at a restaurant. You’re going out, meeting up with friends at this restaurant, or even a bar for drinks. And you’re posting pictures on your ex’s birthday. Now this can be taken two different ways from an ex.
The first way is the most common way, which will be your ex is so wrapped up into what you’re doing, they kind of forget the fact that maybe you’re doing it to get their attention. So that’s the first way.
The second way is they just literally think you’re doing it to get their attention. So you need to really have a good handle on the type of person your ex is and how they’ll react to jealousy if you use it.
Now, the idea here is by going out, having fun with friends, you’re kind of hitting the relationships aspect of the Holy Trinity. But at the same time, what you’re also doing is showing your ex that you’re having a good time on their birthday.
And it’s also kind of showing your ex, hey, this is what you’re missing out on. We could have had a good time on your birthday. Instead, I’m replacing you with my friends. This is a less subtle form of jealousy. But again, it was incredibly effective for Paula who said her ex got jealous and she thought she was blocked at the time.
The Having Fun With Someone Else Post
All right, next, we have the having fun with someone else post.
And this one is coming to us from a woman named Katie, which basically says, “I posted a picture of me laughing with a male friend.” All right.
So here we have our form of direct jealousy via social media. The way this works is pretty simple. You with a platonic male friend, have someone take a picture of the two of you sharing a laugh. That’s it. But this is a direct form of jealousy. My advice always would be if you want to make your ex jealous, and this is your primary directive on what you’re doing.
First approach it through indirect means, through subtle means.
So try to make your ex jealous through some of those Holy Trinity posts, through the food jealousy, drink jealousy, mirror and the selfie post, even the going out on the birthday post is pretty subtle.
But the second you actually include a member of the opposite sex that your ex or someone that your ex could potentially become jealous of in the picture, even if you’re not “making out” with them and doing ridiculous things romantically with them, this is still a form of direct jealousy because it looks like you are trying to make them jealous.
But you can not deny the effectiveness. So it really depends on the type of person your ex is.
And also it depends on the type of person you are.
And I say that because if you have a history of posting pictures with other guys having fun, purely platonic, there’s nothing wrong with that.
In fact, this type of a post fits right in tandem with your previous history of posts. So it kind of just looks like you’ve picked right back up where you left off before you started dating your ex.
The Killing It At Work Post
And the next one we have is called the killing it at work post.
Now this one’s kind of a fun one because it directly hits on the wealth aspect of the Holy Trinity. And it comes to us from a woman named Carmen who basically said, “I posted a pic of my first week back in the office that got a ton of attention. He was calling me within hours of me posting.”
And she doesn’t actually specify what it was that she posted. But I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say her posting a picture at work.
I think reading between the lines here, her ex must’ve been jealous of some of the males she worked with at her specific job. And for those women who are listening here, who think, well, my ex isn’t like that, think again. Because like I’ve already stated with subtle jealousy, oftentimes it’s what you can’t see that makes you more jealous than what you can see.
Yes, what you can see can make you incredibly jealous, it can make you feel like the person’s being unfair to you, flirting with this person in front of you.
But it’s oftentimes when you’re left alone with your own mind that you have to go to war with it and your mind knows exactly what to say or what to think to attack you in the weak areas.
So if your ex has a history of becoming jealous with the fact that, hey, you work with other guys, you’re an attractive woman, other guys hit on you, including men at work. All of a sudden it’s a different sort of feel to posting a picture of going back to work.
So if you think your ex has a history of doing this, where they’ll just be driven nuts by the fact that other men find you attractive, especially at work, posting a picture at work, even if it’s just you sitting there around other guys at your desk can be an incredibly effective motivator with regards to jealousy.
The Look Where I Am Post
And the final jealousy status post/update that can make an ex jealous is called the look where I am post.
And this is actually one of my favorites. It comes to us from Amanda, who basically says her “Posting pictures of her traveling and checking out places that he always told me we would go together made him jealous.”
All right. So here’s kind of an interesting, funny thing that happens in relationships. Oftentimes men and women have a tendency to future pace relationships. So when we’re in the midst of a honeymoon period, when we’re feeling really good about ourselves, what we do is we will start projecting of what things will be like in the future. And usually we do this through locations. Oh yeah.
We’re going to take a trip there one day. Oh yeah. We’re going to go there one day.
So if your ex is saying, you’re going to do all these things together and you’re going to go all these places together, but never comes close to doing it, one of the really cool ways of making them jealous and also making them a bit regretful is having that experience without them. Sometimes you can do this alone.
Usually it’s best to go with a friend, but I think a primary easy example is actually not with regards to going places that they tell that they would like to go with you. It’s with regards to doing things that they told you that they were going to do together with you.
So this can be usually … So usually I’ve noticed a lot of exes will say like, hey, we should do a romantic, like private hot air balloon ride together.
Well you don’t have to necessarily do a private hot air balloon ride, but maybe what you can do is look up where hot air balloons take off somewhere nearby and sign up and go on one. I’ve actually been on a hot air balloon ride, and it was one of the most incredible experiences I think I’ve ever experienced.
In fact, I got some really cool stories out of it because I went with my wife when we were engaged and I had actually already proposed to her before I went on the hot air balloon ride. It was actually like included in the engagement proposal. So when we went on the hot air balloon ride, we were actually already engaged.
But what’s interesting is I didn’t know this about hot air balloons, but when hot air balloons land, they sometimes don’t know where they’re going to land. And so they have a car that’s almost like, kind of like chasing the hot air balloon ride, so that it knows like, hey, there’s a communication between the two. Our hot air balloon pilot basically set up like, hey, we’re going to be landing here.
And so when we landed, we actually landed in this really, really open neighborhood. There was like no fences or anything, but there was like this gigantic kid’s birthday party going on. And so as we’re getting closer and closer to landing, you could see people coming out of their houses and pointing out our hot air balloon.
So it’s this really cool experience. And we landed literally in the backyard of this like eight year old birthday party. So this eight year old’s having a birthday party, and we were the ones who like landed. I’m pretty sure he thought like his parents, like, oh yeah, mom and dad, thank you so much. It’s the best birthday ever. A hot air balloon ride in the backyard.
The truth is though that it was like completely by chance, but it was really cool because when we got out, everyone assumes that I had popped the question on the hot air balloon ride, but I had already done it way before then.
And we were just so tired of people literally asking us this question that eventually we just sort of like, went with it and were like, yeah, that’s what happened.
So we have like a bunch of pictures of us landing in this hot air balloon, this backyard with a hot air balloon. All these kids are coming out and trying to roll the hot air balloon up. We’ve got pictures. People like posing with us and stuff like that, showing off the engagement ring and everything like that.
And while that’s an incredible story, imagine the story you can have, if you were to do one of these experiences that your ex always “said that they wanted to do with you, but never got around to doing it.”
Not only can that make them jealous of the fact that you’re doing it without them, but it also can make them regret the fact that they’re not having this experience with you.
So it works.