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5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

  1. Nelly

    January 13, 2016 at 12:51 am

    I was with my for 15 yrs on and off since highschool. We have 2 children together. He was showing improvements on working on our relationship and i was too. I have always been the one accused of cheating. He went away on a business trip for a new position at his job. When he got back i started finding pictures and texts on his new phone he purchased while he was away. Then i found his old phone and he had been talking to and getting dirty pictures for over a year. He told me he wanted both me and all these other girls and yes more then one.He made the choice to pack and leave. He reached out to me a few weeks later oh i miss you, i love you, i would like to make us work but i need time so we can fix things but im not going to stop talking to other girls until i decide what i want. I didnt want it over but ot cant work out like this. Please help me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 15, 2016 at 2:10 pm

      Hi Nelly,

      Thanks for taking the time share this. It must be hard to juggle being a mom and dealing with the feelings of betrayal. The questions are, what do you value, what do you tolerate and what do you want for yourself? You have children, so you will be in contact with him because of that. But of course it’s about the limitation and making it clear to him what your standards are. For example, he may come over to visit but that doesn’t mean he’s visiting you too. You can talk but avoid being intimate if you’re not ready to jump in as one of his relationships and sharing him with other girls. You can do this Nelly. Find what you value the most and set your standards.

  2. Theresa

    January 12, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    Hi Chris
    I’m hoping I get a reply as I’m so confused about the recent break up with my boyfriend. We’re both in our 40s and met 6 months ago. We hit it off right from the first date and became exclusive within a week. He was keen for me to meet his close friends and after a few weeks we fell into a routine of seeing each other most days. He loved cooking for the two of us so I often went round there after work to a home-cooked meal and curl up on the sofa together for a couple of hours. At weekends, we’d go out and stay over at each other’s houses. When he was at mine, he’d often comment about things he’d do (DIY etc) if he lived at my house. He said we should book a holiday in the Summer. Everything seemed perfect.
    Then 3 days before Christmas his daughter lost her baby. He was worried about his daughter, I could tell, but didn’t say much about it and I didn’t press for him to talk. He had booked the next day off work to fix my car for me and insisted on still doing it even though I suggested he might want to be with his daughter instead. He had to work nights over Christmas (he’s a firefighter) so I only saw him Christmas Day for a couple of hours when he came round for lunch with myself and my family who were visiting. A couple of days later he took me to meet his family (mum, sister, brothers) for the first time. Despite my nervousness, I got on great with them.
    Then a couple of days later I felt as though a distance was building between us. He didn’t text me every morning as he usually did or ask me to pop round for coffee or a meal. We spent New Year’s Eve together and everything seemed normal but the next day the distance returned. After not hearing from him for a couple of days, I texted to invite him round for a meal but he declined saying he had things to sort out but wouldn’t say what. Two days later he texted to ask if he could come round for a chat. I had a sinking feeling.
    When he came round, he said although he enjoyed being with me, still found me extremely attractive and thought our sex life was great, he didn’t love me and didn’t know if he ever would. He said he felt exactly the same for me as when we first met and he’d hoped to have been madly in love with me by now. He didn’t want us to stay together for another couple of years just to find he felt the same. He said that wasn’t fair on me as he knew my feelings for him were a lot stronger (I’d never told him I loved him, by the way even though I do). He said he’d like to remain friends but I said, although I was tempted I wouldn’t be able to bear him being with someone else when the time came so it wasn’t a good idea. He said I should call him though if ever I needed anything, jobs done around the house, etc. We talked for an hour or two before he left, holding me tight before he went, telling me how sorry he was. After he’d gone, I just broke down and cried all night, not believing what had just happened. That was 7 days ago. I’ve not made any contact even though I desperately want to.
    You see, I realised two things in this last week, the first being that I lost myself in the relationship. I still made sure that I had girly nights most Fridays with my friends but, other than that, I was completely available to him and for most of the time we usually did what he wanted to do, which was often just sitting curled up in front of the TV. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that closeness between us but, thinking back, we quickly became like an old married couple, except we lived in separate houses.
    So that led to the second realisation …. how could he fall in love with me if all we did was sit in front of the TV? We rarely did adventure together, even though he loves being active and so do I. I think he lost himself too and maybe that’s what’s dawned on him? I don’t know.
    I desperately want to talk to him and suggest we try again, making sure we put adventure into our relationship (go-karting, hill walking, snow-boarding, climbing, motorbike rides, …..) We both enjoy this sort of stuff but haven’t done it together. I so wish we had but I thought we had all the time in the world.
    So, here’s my dilemma …. I know the rule is no contact for a month but what if a month is too late? What if he finds someone else? (He already added his last girlfriend (who deleted him when she saw he was with someone else) back on facebook).
    I still have a key to his house and thought maybe I could call round with it and then ask if we can talk but this breaks the no contact rule. My friends have mixed advice. Some say I shouldn’t whilst others say wait until the weekend as that will be almost 2 weeks. My instinct tells me he won’t get in touch first. What should I do? I really need help.
    Theresa x

    1. Theresa

      January 16, 2016 at 12:13 pm

      Hi Amor
      Thanks so much for replying. I’m beside myself now though. My ex only lives in the next street to me so I notice when he’s home or not. Whereas he’s been at home when I go and pick my son up from his swim training every night about 9:30 I noticed he was out all night last night (my taxi brought me home about 1am) which most probably means he slept with someone last night and it’s only 10 days since we broke up! I know it could be just sex and nothing else but if he’s back with his ex, that’s something entirely different. She dumped him by text last time they were together so he wasn’t ready to move on from that one.
      You say I should initiate conversation slowly …. do you mean after the full 30 days NC? I’m finding that so hard.
      Theresa x

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2016 at 7:47 am

      Yes Theresa, that’s after the NC. I know it’s hard, but not impossible right? You can do this! And whether you succeed or not, kudos for trying your best!

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 16, 2016 at 11:37 am

      Hi Therese,

      If he gets another girl in a month, that’s more likely a rebound. And if he doesn’t get in touch first that’s okay. You can initiate the conversation slowly. Step by Step. This may help you. Texting and ex boyfriend(the new rules)

  3. Pinkunicorn

    January 11, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    Hi Chris me and my boyfriend will make 4 years of being together in April we have a 1 year old daughter together , we have been on and off for mostly the entire relationship o always break up with him , I’ve put my hands on him numerous time we broke up a few months ago since then 2 months ago we started going out togethe again with out daughter sometimes and sometimes just us but 2 days ago I hit him again and it was bad I tend to say thing so do not mean so does he but this time I hit him because he kept asking me what’s wrong and I kept telling him I did not want to talk about it but he kept pushing the subject , now he saying that he’s done with me we can’t go out together anymore and we just need to be parents but I just had lot going on , I’m very sorry and I won’t put my hands on him again I’m constantly working on changing my attitude and working on treating him better he’s always been good to me although he has some flaws as well but for the most part he’s always been there for me , I tried no contact but it doesn’t work he calls me everyday about somethin or texts me everyday about something just to talk to me do you think he is fed up he has been putting up with me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2016 at 8:21 am

      Hi Pink unicorn,

      Maybe all you need to do right now is make time your friend. Understand that it’s not easy to rely on words alone. He needs to see you’ve really changed. You have a daughter, so for sure you’ll still see eah other.

  4. Isabelle

    January 11, 2016 at 7:32 pm

    Hi Chris- Been going out with a guy for almost a year. AMAZING relationship though in the last 3 months we have been fighting more often about him taking care of his work over me and forgetting he had a girlfriend. The day before New Years/ 3 days before our 1 year anniversary he decided he needed a break. He didnt really tell me what this would entail but then kicked me out kinda. I then texted him over the weekend and he didnt answer me – I guess I kept doing it but I wanted to know an answer. He then told me he cant do this and I didnt give him time and he wanted to break up. This past Friday we exchanged back stuff we had from each other and had a talk- he listened to everything I had to say looking genuinely upset and even offered to help with my things walking out of his apartment. I then didnt talk to him Saturday and quickly texted Sunday and no answer. i would like him back but know he probably needs space. It is hard but wont contact him if that is what I need to do – just want to know what I need to do to win him back and what to say after. I really love him and know this could work – I feel that I already did damage and he doesnt think about me anymore or love me though it has been a year. Please help?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2016 at 10:46 pm

      Hi isabelle

      first, I think you became a responsibility when you start demanding time instead I’d bring supportive with him when he became just for work. I’m not saying it’s wrong to demand but maybe you can compromise and maybe you need to be productive with your career or hobby as well. prove that during the no contact period, do things and post in social media, then try to start the convo again after no contact period

  5. Kaela

    January 4, 2016 at 11:35 pm

    Chris I need help and FAST
    Okay, so my ex and I have been together for almost five years. We broke up in September (his call) and after 3 weeks we started seeing each other again. Getting a feel for things again…going on dates, hooking up, all the normal stuff a couple does. In November I had seen some messages he had exchanged with another woman and they were not good. I was furious and heartbroken. He said it was a big mistake and he said he would never talk to her again he just didn’t know what he wanted. So I gave him another chance, careful but I trusted him only to find out this girl had been trying to contact him again and inviting him to movies and dinner. He said no but it wasn’t in the most appropriate way. I was again furious and put my foot down. I felt strong and confident and said I was going to end things and he cried telling me he could love me the best and he was just so lost and confused. We split a few days ago and the day after he friended his girl and she denied it because she is now in her own relationship. I was furious once again and messaged him. He kept trying to reply when I stopped, trying to explain himself but I wasn’t buying it. He than said “I can tell you want nothing to do with me anymore, you don’t seem to believe me” and sent another message saying, “i love you kaela take care”. Confused and not knowing what to say I didn’t respond. Twenty minutes later I looked back and he blocked me. Yes, he blocked me. I don’t know what that means…what do I do? I’m afraid he will just move on this way or maybe he’s just hurting, do I send him a letter? or do I just ignore him. Please help Chris I don’t want him to move on right away, he thinks I want nothing to do with him. But I need him to feel remorse, I know he still loves me I just need help fast.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2016 at 11:17 pm

      Hi kaela

      I think he just got tired that you don’t believe him. If you really don’t believe him, at least convey it in a calm way because i can see he’s trying his best to explain things. he blocked you because he was afraid you’re going to be angry with him and say it there.

  6. Sorbet99

    January 2, 2016 at 1:10 am

    Thanks for great article, really appreciate the read. I love the No contact rule, personally its the one thing im finding easiest to adopt as a principle as regardless of the success at the end it will help me move on, (Id rather rekindle, but I know no harm can come out of moving on either) but harder practically. Due to the fact we lived together, a lot of practical texting is going back and forth about bills etc that we genuinely need to discuss, but trying to keep it strictly minimal. Is this allowed!? How should I deal with these texts? Apart from that Ive told him I will not be discussing anything else for the moment (he broke up with me – he wants to chat and be friends. I have said not right now!)

    1. Chris Seiter

      January 16, 2016 at 11:29 pm

      Thats my line of thinking.

      It helps you move on while at the same time raising your chances of success.

      You definitely are allowed to make those kinds of adjustments with your NC. Funny thing is I am writing a book about no contact and I talk a lot about this.

    2. Sorbet99

      January 2, 2016 at 1:14 am

      Sorry! It all sounds a wee bit impersonal, been together two years and lived together almost one. I do love him very much. He does but his feelings were mixed at the end, it was a stalemate (i just dont think i can be happy with you right now). We both had a tough year, with massive projects, losses and job changes so it was gonna be tough whether in a relationship or not. I’d love him back but appreciate the N/C rule more than anything which is why im worried about the texting about bills and moving out logistics. Oh hell!

  7. rachna Sachdeva

    December 30, 2015 at 11:57 am

    My ex boyfriend called me on my phone almost after 2-3 months after bad Breakup, but still he want to make me friend just normal friend and he do not want in relation ship with me i do not know why? even i do not know why he left me that time.

    Now i want to know that is he still love me? is he want back in my life or not? Please guide me some tricks.

    Thank you
    Rachna

    1. rachna Sachdeva

      February 9, 2016 at 8:57 am

      Hi,

      Please clear this “After what he said? Nope.” I did not get your point .

      Thank you

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2016 at 9:00 am

      Oh sorry, After he said not to call him. That’s means you should not call him.

    3. rachna Sachdeva

      February 8, 2016 at 5:11 pm

      OK, I will do NC , but let me know ONE thing, on 11 Feb his birthday should I call him or wish him ? Because I always wish him very first.

      Thank you

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2016 at 8:38 am

      After what he said? Nope.

    5. rachna Sachdeva

      February 5, 2016 at 7:27 am

      No, I did this Mistake again, I thought its my right because i am his Girl Friend ! No again he told me he do not love me, few days ago he told me he love me, he called me even but now he is asking for sex only ! why ?

      I felt he care me, he want to protect me from every situation but suddenly what happens to him ?

      What should I do now ? He seen my messages but did not reply me, I message him now ” Good Night and Good Morning ” Nothing else!

      When i asked him , you need sex from me only ? he said ” if i want sex only i have many girls for this, i was joking with you “.

      And suddenly he said he do not love me! 🙁 What should I do now ?

      we have 7+ years of relationship , whats wrong with him ?

      Please help me! I am waiting for your advice.

      Thank you

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 5, 2016 at 7:37 am

      The only thing I’ll recommend is no contact period.. It won’t guarantee that you’ll get him back because no method can guarantee for sure that it will get your ex back but you need it because you need to focus on regaining self esteem. You’ve become needy and clingy..and now, it looks you’re heading in the road of obssession. If you don’t want to do it, I’m afraid there’s nothing else I can suggest

    7. rachna Sachdeva

      February 3, 2016 at 12:10 pm

      Please help me, he said i can’t call you daily, I can’t chat with you daily stop messaging me and stop call me again and again.

      EBR TEAM MEMBER: AMOR as well as please read my last message too .

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 4, 2016 at 7:17 am

      You have no other choice but to do nc now..

    9. rachna Sachdeva

      February 2, 2016 at 5:55 am

      Hi,

      I have checked this ““How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You” Video” But few mistakes i already done before watching this video… List given below:

      I text him again and again and he said i will block you if you text me again and again, Even he shout on me 🙁 , he said i do not who are you on mine ?!
      Even after breakup, when we meat few days ago, we make physically too , that is totally wrong according to push pull theory.

      Now please let me know what can i do now, so that he miss me again… is there any way? So that i can improve my mistake and he will call me from his side.

      Please let me know, i am waiting.

      Thank you

    10. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 3, 2016 at 12:35 pm

      Hmm but you did those mistakes before nc right? Lately, how has your relationahip been?

    11. rachna Sachdeva

      February 1, 2016 at 11:30 am

      Thanks for this, Let me try it and i will let you how it will work ok ?

      Thank you

    12. rachna Sachdeva

      January 29, 2016 at 5:46 pm

      Hi,

      Yes, you are right… Even I also do not want to loose him. I am business women, he is business man, I always give some time to him via call or messages but he never ever give me time, I am busy too… please guide me some points like, he should miss me, he should make me a call from his side at least once in a day .

      I know he love me, he told me every time ” I LOVE YOU TOO “. But why he is so careless? Why he do not understand communication, time is most important in long distance relationship. Me and my boyfriend live in same state but in different city due to business.

      Please guide me some point so that he should miss me, he should give me his time on call or message atleast.

      Thank you

    13. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 30, 2016 at 1:26 pm

      I think this is the perfect answer to that rachna 🙂
      The “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You” Video

    14. rachna Sachdeva

      January 28, 2016 at 8:33 am

      I need your Guidance.

    15. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 29, 2016 at 8:49 am

      Is it for him to admit that he loves you? Honestly, for me, we can’t force anybody to admit or say what they are feeling. We have to accept and respect that because if we keep forcing somebody to do so, the more they won’t.

    16. rachna Sachdeva

      January 28, 2016 at 8:32 am

      I am waiting for your Reply “Actually, let me explain, we meat with each other and we spent date with each other it was nice like physically and mentally. He is in regular contact with me. BUT thing is that all the time i call him or message him, he did not message me or call me. Sometime he disconnect due to his business but i want he should give me time, he should call me. I do not want to call him or message him always, i want he should call me message me, I want he should miss me, I want that he should admit and he should realize that he love me and he can not live without me.

      Because after serious breakup, he came back and react like normal people like nothing is happen, in short he take me as granted that. I AM ALWAYS WITH HIM, AFTER A SERIOUS BREAKUP HE CAN GET ME BACK EASILY.

      I WANT He should Realize that he is in serious relationship with me,he should understand he has some responsibilities if he is in relationship.

      I just want to he want to admit and he will miss me. NOTHING else and i know i can get solution from this website.

      Thank you”

    17. rachna Sachdeva

      January 27, 2016 at 4:35 pm

      Hi,

      Actually, let me explain, we meat with each other and we spent date with each other it was nice like physically and mentally. He is in regular contact with me. BUT thing is that all the time i call him or message him, he did not message me or call me. Sometime he disconnect due to his business but i want he should give me time, he should call me. I do not want to call him or message him always, i want he should call me message me, I want he should miss me, I want that he should admit and he should realize that he love me and he can not live without me.

      Because after serious breakup, he came back and react like normal people like nothing is happen, in short he take me as granted that. I AM ALWAYS WITH HIM, AFTER A SERIOUS BREAKUP HE CAN GET ME BACK EASILY.

      I WANT He should Realize that he is in serious relationship with me,he should understand he has some responsibilities if he is in relationship.

      I just want to he want to admit and he will miss me. NOTHING else and i know i can get solution from this website.

      Thank you

    18. rachna Sachdeva

      January 26, 2016 at 5:17 pm

      Can you please suggest me ASAP about Push pull theory ?

    19. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 27, 2016 at 2:18 pm

      Hi Rachna,

      I would love to explain it here but Chris explains it perfectly in this post. What To Do On A Date With Your Ex Boyfriend

    20. rachna Sachdeva

      January 26, 2016 at 4:58 pm

      Hi EBR TEAM MEMBER: AMOR,

      What is Push pull Theory? What is in the Push pull Theory ? What should exactly i do so that i can realize him that he can’t live without me? Because Now He is continuously in my contact but i want he should admit in front of me that he really loves me and he want be live without me. Can you Please guide me what is PUSH PULL THEORY ?

      I am Waiting For your RESPONSE.

      Thank you

    21. rachna Sachdeva

      January 19, 2016 at 4:22 pm

      Yes Chris, NC was very helpful for me, I have implemented and thanks you for this Formula, He came back, he meat me two weeks ago.

      But now problem is this, he does not admit clearly that he love me and he also cant live without me. I think he feel sham! Because I felt he love me but do not want to tell me clearly why ? we had Good time with each other, and there are many things like lovers. But still he do not want to admit.

      How can i assure that he love me or How Can i confirm? Is their any advice which help me to confirm ? Is there any way that like he will tell me that he really love me.

      I just want to listen that he love me, because if he really love me then there is no formalities. Just be straightforward.

      Can you please help me out?
      I am waiting for your Response.

      Thank you,
      Rachna

    22. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2016 at 11:18 am

      Hi Rachna,

      Did you ask him? If so, and he didn’t answer, that can mean he’s not ready yet to admit it or he’s not sure of what he feels about you. But what’s important is, you’re in contact right? And if you already asked him and he knows that it’s important to you, then at least he already knows it is.
      So, stop asking him because constant asking can make him feel pressured.
      Make him feel that he can lose you. Do the push pull theory. Do it because if he’s not making it clear that he loves you, it can mean he’s assured that you’re just there.

    23. Chris Seiter

      January 16, 2016 at 11:17 pm

      Well, have you implemented NC yet?

  8. Ito

    December 29, 2015 at 2:09 am

    Hi,
    I dated this guy for 2 years. at the tail end of it all he started to act weird. Yelling at me at the slightest provocation, not meeting up with dates, bailing out on official and family engagements….. you get my drift.
    Next I chat him up after a little fight (a common occurrence at the time) and he responds with “it’s over”. I was devastated and asked for a meet. He came over to mine and boy did he say some nasty stuff! Said he never loved me, that I was not good enough, how many of his friends have I ever met (we were in a long distance relationship for a year) and so on.
    Long story short, I appealed to him to give us another chance (I am quite the negotiator). And after one week, he bailed on a date, insisting he didn’t want us any more, and something in me just snapped. I calmly told him if this was his decision then I am ok with it. At that point I made up my mind that no power on earth will ever make me speak to him again.
    3 days later he sends me a “Hi Bae”. I didn’t respond. He started sending frantic voice notes, then sms, then insults via chat. Because he owed me some money, I had to speak with him at some point. The repayment dragged on for 10 months. No problem. At the end of this I stopped speaking with him. He has been begging to stay friends, begging for my forgiveness, saying he misses me that he knows better now. Still I ignored him. 2 months later he tries to talk to me begging me to “at least stay friends”.

    I am confused. How is it that after a year he is still on this? Is it that he is a sociopath who just has a desire to have me under his control or what?

  9. Elizabeth

    December 29, 2015 at 12:07 am

    Please help

  10. Tori

    December 28, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Is it a bad idea to stay friends with your ex’s sister in law? We have said we will keep him out of our friendship, but it is hard to not wonder certain things.

  11. Elizabeth

    December 28, 2015 at 5:25 am

    My ex and i were together for almost 2 years. I was needy and wanted him to talk to me all day through text. Things were good for the most part first year. Second year we argued almost every week for a period of time. The reasons we argued was because he didnt make time for me. We broke up and i begged him to work things out so we tried for 3 months but he would start talking to me less and less. We officially ended it a week ago i have contacted him since then. I was very nice but i got impatient and when he ignored me i wanted him more. What should i do, will he regret breaking up with me? He said maybe in the future that he didnt have emotions

  12. Precious

    December 27, 2015 at 1:36 pm

    Hi! I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago because of some complicated issues between us. Now I really miss him and I want him back. When we see each other we don’t make eye contact or sometimes we look at each and say nothing, it feels like we are strangers now. How do I get him back on this scenario? we live in the same area and we bound to see each other more frequently.

  13. nina

    December 27, 2015 at 12:38 am

    I am applying hopefully it’ll work

  14. stephanie

    December 26, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    Ex husband of 10years left me. Had a new gf 2 weeks after. We have 2 kids together. How do i do the nc rule with kids involved? All i have managed to do is not start the contact or calls.. He ALWAYS contacts me first.. Help plz.

  15. Hii

    December 25, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    Hi i wanted a breakup frm my bf since he takes me for granted but he dintvwant to although he had same attitude. I talked to him and tried to make him understand what i realy felt like and why this upset me. I dunno how well he understood or not but he called me himself and talked nicely then after 2 days he called me today and wished me merry christmas but he went to country side with his friends and told me today that i am here . why he dint tell me before going may be while the plan was made he could have told me . we agreed to work on the relationship but it was always me who did everything to save the relationship its been five years and we r on a LDR. His best friend suggested me to ignore him and not to call or initiate texts with him unless he calls himself just be casual and hangup as soon as u can . i am doing that but i dunno will it work. I really want him to realize that his behaviour is not appropriate in a relationship and must also do some effort to make this relationship work . i want a peaceful happy trustworthy relationship.

  16. Nensy

    December 22, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    Hello, this is what I need so thank you in the start for this website. I have a big problem. My boyfriend cheated me plenty times and I get to know all of that and always forgive him. The last time I saw woman in his sleeping room and desided to brwak up. I told him that but after I started with sending emotional messages. He said sorry first and sent messages how he loves me, he doesn’t cheat me and it was gf of his friend not for him. Blah blah blah… of course I don’t trust him but what I want is to get him back. I can easily call him and be with him now he wants us to stay togother and he said he loves me. But what my aim is to take all his attention so he can again look for me, be nice to me, treat me well and not cheat if he wants me. I served him all my love on one plate and I guess that made things wrong. He also might be just man like that. But what I am hoping for is for him to miss me, to see how is without me and to value me again as I deserve. I did a lot for him in life and I got cheating and lies and making fool of me infront of everybody. So, what my questin is is NO CONTACT rule of 30 days good for this relationship? I mean I want him back but the main thing is I want to change him. Normal way like talking, doing good to him never helped. 7 days ago I sent him the last message and nothing else. He sent 3 and called 5 times. He apologised in one, next one he asked me how am I, and third was to tell me goodbye because I already did it and he still not. So that was all. What should I do? Still keep doing no contact 30 days and wait till that time to answer him or what i the best in this situaton. Earlier we dont talk 5-10 days and all was the same. He never changed and things between us were still bad. So what should I do to change it this time? Should I follow all the steps or stop it? He wants me back even now but he didnt change behaviour, i still haveny change myself so i am not ungetable girl for him… i am someone who was always there and he could easily get i want to change this and I want to show him who I am and how worth I am. First U want to feel better and to get back myself, as a person, my happiness and all my life. I lost myself running after him. Important thing is he is looking very handsome and all girls wants him so I am afraid he will this no contcy period accept as a real break up forver like i told him and maybe find other girlfriend. And one things more I am afraid if he gets angry because I ignore him and always is “seen” on his messages and no response. So maybe he wouldn’t be with me without it. And one thing more is I am thinking he might have a lot of problems now with money,paying bills and things so should i just be again there for him and help doing his tasks or let him see how is without me? Christmas is soon and I feel very bad thinkig should I go and buy a gift and see him at least at the church or should I spent New Years Eve with him or follow No contact. It will be first after 3 years not to be togother for holidays and it makes me sad. But is better 1 Christmas alone then all my life unhappy! That what give me encourage to keep No contact! I am just afraid if he will really move on from me in this period. He said he will go from here, its not possible now I guess and thats how he maybe want just to try to make me to forgive him like he is moving and I will see when he move how would be for me because he wont need me then and I cant get him. He used to tell me this eaeier too. Its even embarrasing to say but it worked on me and I was his always after every argue cheating he did. So what should I do now?? Thank you!

  17. Brittany

    December 21, 2015 at 11:31 pm

    Hey Chris, ok here’s my situation. I told my ex bf that I didn’t want to be with him because I felt deep inside that he was messing with someone els . The whole 2 years of us dating all he did was accuse me of cheating and he told me early on if he felt like I was doing me then he was going to do him (so to speak).. Through all the accusing I still never cheated let alone talk to another guy. I left because I couldn’t stay with me having that feeling because I would never do something like that. I would never cheat.. I want to be with him and I texted him and told him just trust me I’m not like the other females in your past I would not hurt u.. Its jus draining to continuously go through that accusing stuff day in and date out. I want to have sex because he’s the only person I want to be with but I Dont want jus that from him I want more. So I Dont want that to happen between us. Our daughters love each other and they want to see each other.. But when I see them I know my feelings are gonna be all outta wack. Smh. Help me please. Its more but I think I texted enough for right now. Lol

  18. Cp

    December 21, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    I need your help! I have been blocked by my now ex boyfriend every way possible. I still believe we can make this work but I do not know how or when to try again. I am currently in nc, but he initiated it while I am following through with the 30 days. What is the best thing to do from here? Will he unblock me within the next 30 days?

  19. Peyton

    December 21, 2015 at 6:31 pm

    Hi Chris – I have tried a few times to get you as I know you are super busy but I really need your help. I am 16 and dated my boyfriend for 11 months exclusively. The first 6 were great and he was in over his head in love with me – we were each other’s first real relationship. He began to get obsessive, not really in a bad way but constant texting and snapping all day long, facetiming every night, not giving me any alone space at school, basically being a puppy and following me around. Talking about a future together, when we get married, going to the same college, etc. I got overwhelmed by it all and broke his heart about 6 weeks ago just prior to our one year anniversary. He was in shock as he was planning something special for our 1 year anniversary. Even though I did this, I was in bed for days crying and depressed. Time went on and we maintained somewhat of a friend relationship because we saw each other every day. We still had ties to each other, ie, tickets to a show, sports clothing i purchased from him etc so we still had to have a baseline relationship. The first 10 days he tried to come back, texting me about his uncle who passed away, or trying to facetime me. After that, he would only respond when i sent him a note and he responded every time in a nice way. One month after, he took the one photo of us down from his instagram wall. I still kept 4 photos of us on mine because i wanted to. They were part of my life and history. Two weeks after he took his down, he asked me to take mine down saying it was awkward. I sort of freaked out on him about it asking him why. I begrudging did so, only to land myself again into a spiral of depression in my room for hours crying. I then sent him a note apologizing for freaking and why I did, that I considered them memories of good times and that the past month and a half of getting some space, I realized how much he really meant to me and that i was sorry for causing him pain. That was the only text he never responded to. At school now, he avoids me. What is happening with him? Do I have any chance of winning him back? As obsessive as he was, he was a great person, smart, driven and so good to me – treated me like a queen. I don’t know what I was thinking to leave. Please help! Peyton

  20. Shivani Bhardwaj

    December 20, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    We both are from different community. And he broke up with me. The reason behind this was he thought we don’t have future together. And I love him. I want to talk to him but he blocked me. I want him back in my life and this time for forever. Please suggest me please.

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